Reading Glasses Ep. 425 Summary

Episode Title: Should You Gift Books to Nonreaders?
Hosts: Brea Grant & Mallory O’Meara
Date: August 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Brea and Mallory tackle the perennial bookish dilemma: should you give books as gifts to people who don’t typically read? Inspired by a listener’s question, they explore the etiquette, emotional nuances, and potential pitfalls of gifting books to non-readers (especially family around the holidays). The episode also covers feedback from listeners, advice on what to do if you receive a book you don’t want, and recommendations for locked room mysteries.

What Are Brea and Mallory Reading?

• Barstow by Rebecca McKendree & Dave McKendree, illustrated by Tyler Jenkins

  • Brea: “It’s a horror mystery, sort of spooky in the middle of the desert, which I love. A desert horror. ... It’s basically something sort of demonic is happening in this small town. ... Great character stuff and just really fun, creepy horror stuff.” (01:23)
  • Available as a trade collection September 23.

• Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

  • Mallory: “I have had this copy of Cloud Atlas for I think 10 years that I’ve...lugged from New England to New York...This copy of Cloud Atlas is like one of the family at this point.” (02:36)
  • Just starting out, admits the plot is mysterious and elusive: “It’s one of those books that like the description on the back is like an ambitious journey across time. And I’m like, okay, what else?” (03:01)

Listener Feedback & Bookish Problems

• Libby Account Security Follow-up

  • Leila updated that she changed her PIN to deal with an ex accessing her library account. Library confirmed transferring account would mean losing holds/tags. Libby is planning an app-wide sign out soon. (05:08–05:55)

• Managing Panic Attacks Triggered by Reading

  • Abraham: Therapy is helping! Shared tips include:
    1. TBR lists by mood (“Feel Good TBR,” “Feel Bad TBR,” etc.).
    2. Switching reading media (audio versus print).
    3. Reading slower/taking breaks.
    4. Skimming/DFN’ing when needed.
    5. Seeking “feel good” books by beloved authors.
    • “Reading tips...made Abraham become a mood reader.” – Mallory (06:40)

• House Sitters Reading Client’s Books

  • Sam, a house sitter, feels it’s fine to read books from a client’s shelf: “It seems on par with using their TV or wifi.” Asks, but people are always surprised and never mind. Sometimes has been gifted books by grateful homeowners.
  • The “house sitting & book borrowing” debate continues from episode 304. Mallory would notice if a book went missing; Brea wouldn’t. (07:34–10:14)

• Sam’s Wheelhouse (Book Preferences)

  • “Weird little self-aware robots and cyborg protagonists, ... group of misfits all thrown together on a mission or heist...books that made me cry without killing off any human or animal characters.” (10:20)

[15:00] Main Topic: Should You Gift Books to Nonreaders?

The Listener Query

• Kate writes in:
  • Loves gifting books to nieces/nephews at the holidays; wants to give books to adult family members who don’t read. Wonders: “Is it rude or self-centered to gift them books I carefully chose because I believe they would like them?” (15:22)

Hosts’ Personal Approaches

• Brea:

  • Not a book gifter—prefers practical gifts (kitchen items, towels).
  • For readers: might give a gift certificate to a bookstore, occasionally a coffee table book. She’s “panic” shops practical: “I want people to have exactly what they want instead of the thing that I pick out for them.” (17:26, 25:26)

• Mallory:

  • Book-gifting is her “love language.” Immediate urge upon dating someone new: “What book should I give you?” (17:53)
  • Admits irony: doesn’t like recipients giving her books, since she usually already owns them.
  • “If I had a friend who was really into running, I would not get them a piece of running gear...That’s kind of what buying books for me is like.” (20:02)

Should You Give Books to Nonreaders? The Debate

• Both agree: Usually, NO.

  • “For me, it is a waste. You want them to read it so you can talk about it, right?...they might not read it.” – Brea (20:25)
  • “It’s an obligation...It’s like giving them a project they don’t want to do.” – Mallory (23:02–23:05)
  • Guilt is the most likely gift: “So you’ve mostly just given them a gift of guilt...They are gonna feel guilty about it.” – Mallory (23:42)

• Exceptions:

  • If the person specifically says they want to read more, or asks for a book.
  • Coffee table books, memoirs of celebrities the giftee loves, or books closely tied to their personal interests may be okay.

• Alternative Suggestions:

  • Bookstore gift cards are always appropriate.
  • Book-adjacent gifts: journals, bookmarks, socks, etc.
  • Focus on what someone will actually use and appreciate rather than an “aspirational gift.”
  • “Find somewhere else to connect with this person” – Brea (24:46)

Notable Quotes

• “I love the—I think your heart is in the right place though...A gift card. Again, I love a gift card because practical.” – Brea (24:30)
• “It’s tough to accept that some people aren’t readers. ...But you’re thinking...about yourself a little bit.” – Mallory (27:06–28:16)
• “It is tough. I get it...But our rule is: unless they specifically ask for books or they’re a reader...Time for a gift card, baby.” – Mallory (28:38–29:09)
• “Find the perfect thing for a version of somebody...But if they don’t want a book, it doesn’t matter.” – Mallory (27:06)

[32:26] Bookish Problem: What If You Get a Book You Don’t Want?

• Question:
  • Do you “owe” anything to the gifter if you don’t like the book? Can you pass it on, or should you check with them first?

The Reading Glasses Rule:

• “You owe her nothing.” – Brea (33:47)
• “Feel free, pass it on...It was a gift. That means you get to do with it whatever you want.” – Mallory (34:01–34:03)
• Caveat: Don’t check in with someone to see if they’ve read your gift—“it’s just pressurey. Don’t do it.” (35:10)

[38:09] Locked Room Mystery Recs

Reader Request: Looking for a “read alike” to Daisy Darker (locked room mystery, family drama a bonus).

• Jessica: “I finished Daisy Darker about 2 months ago, but I’m still thinking about it. ...I’m looking for a good locked door mystery. Family drama is a big plus.” (38:09)

Recommendations:

• Brea:
  • Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson (Snowed-in ski resort, family gathering, murder, drama).
  • Bonus: Japanese classics like The Mill House Murders.
• Mallory:
  • The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware (Cruise ship locked room whodunit; “all the passengers are still accounted for”). (40:08)

Listener Engagement

• Upcoming readathon: September 13th (Saturday), with Instagram Live check-ins at 10am, 1pm, and 5pm.
• Call for listeners: Help Reading Glasses hit 2,000 Apple Podcast reviews—special episode planned when they hit the milestone.

Memorable Moments

• Mallory’s new knuckle tattoos—“RAIN DOGS”, which Bria misread as “DOGS” (expecting the other hand to say “CATS”), leading to a running joke. (20:41–21:56)
• “I’m just 1,000 book recommendations in a trench coat.” – Mallory (18:15)

Takeaways for Bookish Listeners

• Don’t force books upon nonreaders. Even heartfelt, the gesture can backfire or create guilt.
• Give gift cards or book-adjacent items instead, unless the recipient has expressed explicit interest.
• If you receive an unwanted book, you're free to pass it on—no guilt or obligation required!
• Book recommendations:
  • For locked room + family drama: Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone (Benjamin Stevenson) or The Woman in Cabin 10 (Ruth Ware).

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:36 – What Are You Reading?
• 05:01 – Listener feedback (Libby, reading panic attacks, house sitter debate)
• 15:22 – Main book gifting question
• 20:25 – Deep-dive on gifting books & emotional nuance
• 32:26 – What to do with an unwanted book gift
• 38:09 – Locked room mystery recommendations

Final Thoughts

This episode is a gentle but honest examination of the intersection between book love and practical gift etiquette. Brea and Mallory’s nuanced conversation encourages thoughtfulness above tradition or self-projection. Whether you’re a compulsive book gifter or a practical present-giver, this episode offers empathy (and practical solutions) for every bookish soul during gifting season.