1003. Q&AF: Attached To Old Identities, Potential Vs. Success & Struggles Of A Growing Business

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Episode 1003: Q&AF: Attached To Old Identities, Potential Vs. Success & Struggles Of A Growing Business
Date: February 23, 2026

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Episode Overview

This Q&AF (Questions & Andy Frisella) episode features Andy and DJ answering listener questions about personal growth, facing fear of change, separating potential from action, and managing the evolving challenges of a growing business. Andy draws on his own entrepreneurial journey to offer practical, no-nonsense guidance to young listeners, entrepreneurs, and anyone feeling conflicted about ambition and identity. The tone is candid, motivational, and unfiltered—full of hard truths, humor, and relatable stories from Andy’s own rise.

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Key Topics & Insights

1. Letting Go of Old Identities for Personal Growth (09:49–17:41)

Listener Question:
How do you grow when you’re afraid of losing your old identity or friends who know you as "the funny, laid back one"?

Andy’s Insights:

• Growth requires being willing to let go of old parts of your identity and sometimes people who won't be there for your new journey.

  “Unless you’re willing to let go of who you are to become who you’re supposed to be, it’s going to be a very conflicting journey.” (10:32)

• The fear of losing people is real, but illogical:

  “If you loved what you had, you wouldn’t be aspiring to have something else.” (11:33)

• Most people waste their prime years clinging to the approval of people who won’t matter in five or fifteen years.
• Not everyone should like you; being universally liked means you stand for nothing.

  “If you’re liked by everybody, you’re irrelevant.” (14:52)

• Final tough love:

  “If you don’t have the ability to cultivate that [‘fuck those people’] attitude, you don’t have what it takes to win.” (17:39)

Memorable Moments:

• Andy and DJ joke about "being the funny one" in your friend group and whether that’s worth building your life around.
• DJ: “You could do a cool shotgun trick with the beer can...is that really what you’re trying to amount for?” (15:58)
• Andy, reflecting on the big picture:

  “You want to be the guy at 40 who says, ‘Hey, I got 20 years in this shit now’...while everyone else is finally realizing their party life is over.” (16:36)

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2. Potential vs. Action—How Not To Peak Early (17:43–27:59)

Listener Question:
If everyone says you’ve got “potential,” how do you make sure you don’t end up as the guy who “almost did something great?”

Andy’s Insights:

• Potential means nothing without action. Many people praised young for their promise end up disappointed because they buy into their own hype.

  “Potential doesn’t mean shit, okay? Action means things.” (20:54)

• The “paradox of upbringing”:
  • Those from hard backgrounds succeed because they’re forced to fight early.
  • The “gold star” kids often struggle later, expecting rewards just for showing up.
• Don’t let praise OR criticism define you; both can derail your growth.

  "There's no talk about, 'Hey, the praise—don't listen to that either.' Because that'll get you just as fucked up." (23:39)

• True champions are humble in preparation, confident in execution.

  “Champions will be humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution.” (26:47)

• Your journey is relative—what's "killing it" for one person may be nothing for someone with bigger dreams.

  "For me, I'm so far away from where I want to be that, like, I'm like, nah, dude, like, I'm not...But for them, I'm living their dream every single day." (28:00)

Memorable Moments:

• DJ: “Sounds like a lot of this just comes down to some self-awareness, right?” (27:44)
• Andy admits he still has "massive goals," far beyond what others might expect:

  “It takes crazy to do crazy shit, all right?” (28:23)

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3. The Hard Reality of Scaling a Business (29:07–46:45)

Listener Question:
“My business is growing, but it’s getting less fun and much more complicated. Did I scale something I didn’t actually want?”

Andy’s Insights:

• Growth comes in phases; each phase brings new challenges, anxieties, and different kinds of "fun."
• Nostalgia for “the good old days” is common, but the reason they’re ‘good’ is because you kept climbing.

  “If you didn’t progress, they’d just be 'the days'—you’d just be an alcoholic.” (31:38)

• Scaling is hard. Most businesses don’t skyrocket overnight; they grow in step-like stages that are often stressful and unprofitable at first.
• The hardest, most frustrating, least profitable span is often right before the next level.
• Perseverance is key; quitting resets your progress and wastes years.

  "People waste their lives going from thing to thing to thing...That’s not how the fuck it works, bro." (39:48)

Memorable Moments:

• Andy’s zero-option mentality:

  “In the beginning, your back is against the wall, bro. It’s either do or die.” (35:17)

• Andy on recurring fears:

  “I look back and I say, all right, I better go, because I don’t want to dig ditches.” (36:34)

• On the “room” of seasoned entrepreneurs:

  “When you complain about three years in, the guy who’s been doing it for 25 looks at you...you’re a pussy.” (41:43)

• On defining success for yourself and embracing the grind:

  “You could not pick a harder profession in the history of humankind than to become an entrepreneur. That’s also why there’s the biggest reward.” (42:49)

• The deathbed lesson:

  “Their regrets aren’t the things that they did. Their regrets are the things they didn’t do.” (45:22)

• Calling out critics:

  “You only hear from people who don’t have money how evil it is...Why don’t you ever hear that from people who’ve gone out and built things?” (46:22)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Unless you’re willing to let go of who you are to become who you’re supposed to be, it’s going to be a very conflicting journey.” —Andy, (10:32)
• “If you’re liked by everybody, you’re irrelevant.” —Andy, (14:52)
• “Potential doesn’t mean shit, okay? Action means things.” —Andy, (20:54)
• “Champions will be humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution.” —Andy, (26:47)
• “You got to force it into something that you enjoy. You got to keep going.” —Andy, (39:46)
• “You could not pick a harder profession in the history of humankind than to become an entrepreneur. That’s also why there’s the biggest reward.” —Andy, (42:49)
• “Their regrets aren’t the things that they did. Their regrets are the things they didn’t do.”
  —Andy, (45:22)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Show Format/Introduction: 00:02–09:34
• Q1: Changing Identity & Outgrowing Old Friendships: 09:49–17:41
• Q2: Potential vs. Action/Not Peaking Early: 17:43–27:59
• Q3: Struggles of a Growing Business: 29:07–46:45

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Conclusion & Takeaways

Andy delivers hard-won lessons—successful growth demands sacrificing old identities and relationships; potential is meaningless without relentless action; entrepreneurship is always hard but uniquely rewarding. He urges listeners to focus on their own journey, ignore applause and criticism alike, and keep grinding through the tough phases, because those who persevere build not only wealth but regret-free lives.

Final message:
Don’t quit because it’s hard. Don’t live for the approval of others. Focus on your vision, keep learning, and keep stepping forward—even when it sucks. The pain is the process, and the reward is a life on your own terms.

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Listen for:

• Real-world entrepreneurial advice
• Relatable, tough-love motivation
• Encouragement for anyone anxious about change or plateauing on their journey

Transcript

[DJ]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor

[Andy Prisella]

now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold just a no head shot case cloak cloth what is up, guys? It's Andy Prisella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJs going to tell you how you could submit your questions.

[DJ]

Guys, we want your questions. Please submit [e-mail] click the link in the description right now. Submit your questions for a chance to be answered. Or if you want to, just pop them in the comments section of this video right here. We'll check them out there as well.

[Andy Prisella]

All right, so if this is your first time listening, we have multiple different formats on this channel. On this podcast today you're going to Hear Q&AF. Tonight at 7 Central, you're going to see CTI live. Okay? And that's where we talk about what's going on in the world. It's called Cruise the Internet. All right? We speculate, we talk about it, we try to figure it out, and then we talk about what we need to do as citizens to make the country better. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then other times we will have 75 hard verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to change their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And it's free. You can get an episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 2,08 on the audio feed. There's also a book on Andy Forcella.com called the Book on Mental Toughn, which gives you the entire program plus a whole bunch of other stuff on discipline, mindset, how to apply it to your life. Okay? One thing about this show that is different from all the other shows out there is we are an outcome based show, meaning we are giving you this information both in personal development and society for us to create a better outcome. I don't take ads for that. I do this because I feel obligated to do it. And in exchange, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show and share the show. All right, so we got this little thing that we say around here. It goes like this. Don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show. All right, Maybe we got threatened them a little bit.

[Andy Prisella]

What was that?

[DJ]

Yeah, that.

[Andy Prisella]

A little aggressive.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

I got a problem over here with my chair. I didn't touch it.

[DJ]

It wasn't me.

[Andy Prisella]

One of you did.

[DJ]

No, I think the air cylinders, like, they go out after a minute, bro. You got thousand episodes in that chair, bro.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah, that's true.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah. This is my most comfortable place to sit.

[DJ]

Really?

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

That's why.

[Andy Prisella]

That's why yesterday when we. When you were in here, I said, I'm gonna have my meeting in here.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

It's like, the only place I can focus.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You know, I don't know what that is, but from now on, meetings are in here.

[DJ]

Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I'm down with it. I like it.

[Andy Prisella]

You guys. That goes for you guys, too. You need to talk to me. We come here.

[DJ]

Meet me in the studio.

[Andy Prisella]

That's right.

[DJ]

That's right. It's so crazy to think, too, man. Like, I mean, I know my first episodes, but, I mean, your first episodes. MFCO project was in a conference room, bro.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

It's so crazy. And, like, now it's like, well, you

[Andy Prisella]

know, people think they gotta have all the stuff. You don't have to have all the stuff, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Like, you know, this people, they think about this in business, too, right? They think like, let me get the business card and let me get the nice sign and let me get the name on my door and let me get the nice office, and, like, none of that shit matters, dude. You know, and when it comes to podcast creation, you just got to go. And. And by the way, creating a podcast isn't for everyone. It's a lot of work. It's a skill that you have to develop over time. And, like, most skills, you know, people quit before they actually develop it. You know, when we started out there in 2015, dude, we didn't even know what we were doing. Like, I barely knew what a podcast was.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You know?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

So, in fact, we didn't even start it with the idea of being a podcast. The. The idea was Vaughn was going to write me a book, and he was interviewing me to do the ghost writing for the book, and we started taking the interview clips and posting them on Instagram. This is back People don't realize this, but Instagram used to only be 15 second clips, all right? So we'd post these 15 second clips, and it was the most popular thing I was posting.

[DJ]

Heat.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah. And everybody was like, man, where can I listen to this podcast? And this got to remember, dude, podcasts were popular, like, in the early 2000s. Then they, like, went away. Okay. They became, like, uncool. All right? Like, if you had a podcast, you were a nerd, all right? And then, like, 2015, and it really happened, like, right when we came out with it, they became popular again. And so I had all these people, you know, posting in the comments. They're like, we're gonna listen to this podcast. I'm like, dude, this isn't a podcast. This is. We're in a book. We're doing real over here, you know? And after, like, you know, probably six months of that, a year of that, finally, I was like, well, maybe we should just do a podcast. And that's how it started.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

And we just committed to it, and we just kept doing it and doing it and doing it, and now we're here. And, you know, it's really parallel to. To anything that you're trying to build in your life. You know, you. You got to be willing to suck. You know, if you go back and listen to my original episodes, which are on the Internet still, if you're unfamiliar where they are, they are back at the beginning feed of the real AF audio feed on the audio platforms, and you go listen to them, and you're going to be like, holy shit. Yeah. Like, this dude was terrible.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Right. And that's just. It's a parallel. For what? What? You got to be willing to look bad, you know, you got to be willing to look stupid in front of people.

[DJ]

Now you're number seven on Earth.

[Andy Prisella]

No, I'm number five.

[DJ]

Number five, yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Number five. I just checked. Yeah, let's check again just for fun. Let's see where we're at right now. You see that number 5? The only shows ahead of us are Crime Junkie, Dateline NBC, a multiple tens of millions of dollars operation. Of course, Joe Rogan, who is the greatest podcaster in the world.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

And then the Daily, the New York Times. So, you know, and then there's Sean Ryan and Megyn Kelly, and we're all right there in the group. And, you know, this, this. You just got to keep going, dude. Like, that's really what it is. And we've never had corporate support. I've always funded this out of My own pocket. I don't do this for a living. This isn't my main job. I don't take ads because I want people to trust that what they're hearing is my honest opinion.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Right. And I think that's, you know, for a long time, that was like, why does he not do that? You know, that's. That's cool. He doesn't. But why? Well, now you're seeing why.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Okay. I had the foresight to understand that we have to be able to trust our people, and I don't want that eroded. You know what I mean?

[DJ]

Yeah. Because once it's gone, dude, it's gone.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah. And, like, dude, I don't want to listen to someone telling me, you know, what I can and can't say or should and shouldn't say, and it's just not who I am, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You know.

[DJ]

Yeah, well, there's something to that, too.

[Andy Prisella]

Now, if one of you wants to come and give me $100 million and I can say whatever the I want, you know, for real, then, you know, I'm gonna take the money. But that just never works out that way.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You know, they always promise these things, and then all my buddies who get these deals end up dealing with a bunch of corporate dorks who are trying to censor them. And. And like, dude, I'm. That's not. I'm not with that.

[DJ]

Can you not talk about.

[Andy Prisella]

Yes.

[DJ]

So hard?

[Andy Prisella]

That's what I'm saying. Like, even like that, like, dude, when someone says that to me, I'm going harder now.

[DJ]

Yeah. Right.

[Andy Prisella]

You know what I mean? Like, so it's just, you know, it is what it is. But anyway, I'm very thankful and very grateful for all of you who have been here the entire time. You guys that share the show regularly and share my content, that means a lot to all of us here. We need to figure out a way to make the show bigger and better on YouTube. Okay. So please tell your friends, Please have people join. You know, we're trying to do a good mission here. Yeah, that's that. One very important point.

[DJ]

I would like to say that number five is not in the business category. That's overall correct. That means on earth, out of 4.2 million podcasts.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Well, that's how many podcasts there are on itunes.

[Andy Prisella]

Well, I guess we're doing all right.

[DJ]

I like those ads. That's.

[Andy Prisella]

Well, you know, like the newer shows, like the guys who have come around the last four or five years, they started their show on a YouTube right? And we didn't start YouTube till two years ago.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

So, you know, we're behind there, but, you know, our audience on audio is always there. Yeah. So I appreciate you guys.

[DJ]

Oh, geez.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Oh, geez.

[Andy Prisella]

It's cool, man. And then, you know, we have the Operator Standard show inside the Operator Standard app, which is the rebirth of the MF CEO, which is going very well, but that's not open to the public right now, so. Yeah, I'll let you know.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Such a suck.

[DJ]

Yeah. I love it, man. I love it, dude. Well, guys, it is Monday. Let's make some people better, shall we? Do it, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy.

[Andy Prisella]

Dude, I'd be.

[DJ]

I'm sorry. I'd be feeling for these people when I read these damn questions, man, it's like, man, Andy, I say I want to grow, but I'm still attached to the version of me everyone knows. The funny one, the laid back one, the one who doesn't take things too seriously. Part of me worries that if I let level up, people won't like me the same. How do you grow without feeling like you're losing yourself or your people? Is that a real. Is that a real fear to be worried about?

[Andy Prisella]

I mean, look, dude, just because there's plenty of people that are successful that have good personalities and they're fun to be around and they're cool and they can make jokes, you know, I like to think I'm cool, you know, saying like, I actually think I'm pretty cool. But, you know, you have to know when. When to understand. You got to understand this, dude, to become something else. There's parts of your life that you're going to have to be okay letting go. Okay? Because the new parts are going to come in and take space where the old parts were. So unless you're willing to let go of who you are to become who you're supposed to be, it's going to be a very conflicting journey. All right? And this is why, when we talk about, like, going down this path, you have to go all in and you have to accept what the price is going to be up front, okay? And so many people, this is not just during this era. This is in human history, okay? I actually believe that the reason that most people never get where they want to go is for the reason that this person is asking right here. They are afraid of what they have to give up, which actually makes no sense, because if you loved what you had, you wouldn't be aspiring to have something else. So why are you afraid to Give this thing up that is creating this outcome in this reality that you don't enjoy or that you know isn't fulfilling to get what you actually want. That doesn't make sense if you actually think about it. It's like the people who do 75 hard and on day 76, their idea of celebrating is going right back to the things that they did. I'm gonna have a big cake and I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna stuff myself. Well, if that's where you are, bro, you didn't do the program. Right. Because you'd be terrified to go back to who you were. All right? So we have to understand that when you think about this logically, you are not comfortable where you are. You understand that you need to do more. You understand that you want more and desire more. You are willing to go do it, but you're afraid of letting go what you have that's holding you from becoming this. That doesn't actually make sense when you logically think, really think about it. Right?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

So we have to separate our emotions from our logic. And you know, you are going to lose some friends. You are going to, you know, people aren't going to like it. That's the reality of doing anything outside the social norm. Anytime you do anything outside the social norm, you have a weird haircut, you decide to wear different clothes, you talk a different way, you pursue a different life. Even if that life would be something that would just be different, not necessarily an entrepreneur or success, but let's say you wanted to, you know, be a vagabond and travel to earth and do all these things. There's going to be people that are going to say, bro, you're, you're up. Okay? But each person's life is each person's life. And you have to understand that those people that you're afraid of upsetting are not going to be there for you when it really counts. That's the truth. Okay? That is the hard truth that most people don't want to admit. Okay? You come into this world alone and you die alone. And there's people that come and go along the way, and they serve different parts at different places for different lessons and different reasons. And you can't have that perspective when you're a young 20 year old person. But as someone who's lived a little bit of life, I can promise you that most of the people that you're afraid of upsetting now are not going to be there in five years and they're certainly not going to be there in 15. So why would you short circuit what it is you want for yourself? Because maybe these people won't approve of it, or they might not like you. Okay, and here's the. Here's the final point to this question. It is okay to not be liked. You don't want to be liked by everybody. If you're liked by everybody, you're irrelevant. There's certain people that shouldn't like you. There's certain things that you should stand for that make people say, I don't like that. Your thing is to make sure that the. It's the right people that don't like you. Yeah, right. For the. For. For good reason.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Prisella]

Okay. So you have to be comfortable and become comfortable not being liked. And this is something that a seasoned entrepreneur or even a seasoned person who's been on their own path and is comfortable with their own identity and who they are. I don't. They don't think about those things. You're thinking about those things because you're a young person and you don't know any better yet. And that's okay, dude. But I'm gonna tell you right now, that is irrelevant. And there's gonna be people that don't like you because of your haircut, bro. Okay? What are you gonna do? You're gonna keep doing the dance to make sure everybody's happy.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You're gonna get your hair cut the way they want. You're gonna wear the clothes they want. You going to do your life the way they want. They're probably going to lose, bro. So when you do this dance for everybody, you got to realize the people you're dancing for, they. They aren't the people you should be dancing for. You should be doing your own dance. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Absolutely, dude. Dude. I think another. A big thing with especially the young crowd, man. It's like, you know, I'm known as the funny one. So, like, by being funny, that means you have to go to the bar and make a fool of yourself for people to be cool with. Like. Like, is that really what you want?

[Andy Prisella]

Is that a really. Is that actually a quality relationship? Yeah.

[DJ]

You could do a cool shotgun trick with the beer can. Like. Okay, cool.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Is that really what. That's what you're trying to amount for? Yeah, like, that's it. Yeah, that goes away, man.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah, bro, it does. And I promise you. And this goes out to all the young people out there, and the older people listening can vouch for this. Those people that you think are Their friends in high school and. And college and, like, you might still know them and be cool with them and be friendly with them and. And consider them friends, but they're not going to. They're not going to have the same impact on your life as they do when you're surrounded by them every single day. So at the end of the day, bro, here's what it comes down to. You got to do what you think is best for you. And if you don't, and you don't do it because of all these other people's maybe not approving, you're going to be fudgeing broke. You're going to. Your life's going to suck. You're going to be frustrated and you're going to get to 40 and you're going to say, fuck, I wish I would have done what I wanted to do. You don't want to be that guy. There's lot. Most people become that person. All those people that you're afraid are not going to like you anymore. They're going to be that motherfucker. They're going to be that person at 40 years old and saying, man, I wish I hadn't fucked off. I wish I had went a little harder. I wish I had chased my dreams. I wish I had become what I wanted to become. You don't want that. You want to be the guy at 40 years old that says, Hey, I got 20 years in this shit now. Now we got good momentum, while everybody else is just trying to figure it out and they finally realize their party life is over and you got 20 years fucking stacked. That's how you get ahead, dude. So if you're my friend and I'm talking to you straight up, fuck those people. That's it. Okay? I don't give a fuck what they say. I don't care if they like you or not. I don't give a shit, because this is what I'm doing, All right? And that's the attitude you have to have. And if you don't have that attitude and you don't have the ability to cultivate it, you don't have what it takes to win.

[DJ]

Love it, man. I love it. Yeah. I don't know how they do. I do know how this. This next person is. Guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, I'm 19 years old. You remember you were 19?

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah, like yesterday.

[DJ]

Yesterday.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah. I still feel that way.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah, man, I still feel that way. I still feel. I still feel the same as I felt then. Just no more.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah, you can handle quicker, too. Yeah, yeah. Andy, I'm 19, all right? I've had people tell me for years that I have a lot of potential. Teachers, bosses, friends. But I'm starting to wonder if that's just something people say before you disappoint them, like, how do you make sure you don't end up being that guy who almost did something? I mean.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah, well, that's a good question. I would tell you that. Just like we talk about where there's a paradox when it comes to success, okay? Most people believe that if you're successful, you had some sort of advantage that they did not have. They believe that you were fed with a silver spoon and that things were always smooth and that you just got all the breaks and got all the luck and everything was great, and there you are. And that's what they believe, all right? But the truth of the matter is, is that the most successful people on Earth come from the most chaotic things as a childhood. And the reason that those people grow up to be successful or total nightmares is because they learn how to win or lose battles at a young age. All right? They learn how to navigate life at a young age. They learn hardship at a young age. They came from. They didn't have anything. They had a parent that was, you know, abusive or mentally abusive or they had. There's some sort of battle or probably a lot of them that they had to fight through. And because they learn that skill to fight early, it applies later when it comes to them building. So then when bad happens, they're like, well, I've been through this. Ain't nothing. Okay? So there's a paradox there, right? And there's another paradox, which is the one you're talking about, which is the kids who are told that they have all the potential in the world and that they can be anything they want and that they're probably going to be President, United States. And everybody tells them how great they are and they get straight A's and they're the MVP of the football team, and they're all this. In high school, those people end up being fucking losers. That ends up being the peak of their life. They end up taking all of the praise and saying, I'm great, not realizing that they've got 80 years left, okay? So they attach their identity to this thing of everybody else's belief and everybody else's praise and every. All the things they accomplished, and then they go out in the world and they think that the world is going to just spread its legs and give you the Fucking prize, ok? And it doesn't work that way.

[DJ]

But I got all this potential, right?

[Andy Prisella]

Potential doesn't mean shit, okay? Action means the people like me who were considered dumb, who were considered unfocused, who were told repeatedly by their teachers and their coaches and. And by the way, I had good teachers and coaches, too. But the people who were told that they weren't going to be, that they weren't smart enough, that they weren't good enough, that they weren't, you know what it takes. Or in my case, cream of the crop, which was the exact quote used in my scenario. Those are the people that develop a fucking chip on their shoulder because they've been told all this shit. And they're like, fuck you. I'm a fucking show you. Okay? Now, in each one of those paradoxes, you have the ability to choose, all right? You have the ability as a young person who went through a very difficult upbringing to choose. Do I turn out like that and just repeat the cycle or do I break the cycle? And I. I don't want that. There's a very famous story. I don't. I don't know the exact lingo, but it goes something like this. There was an alcoholic man who had two sons. One son became an alcoholic like his dad. The other son never drank a drop of alcohol because he didn't want to be like his dad. And those are the choices that we have. So you sound like you have some good things going for you. Maybe. Maybe they are just telling you that you have this potential. But here's the bottom line. It doesn't fucking matter because potential doesn't mean anything. Action means things. So if you don't want to become the guy who gets told that, you know, they're the most likely to succeed and win and become all these things, then don't put any weight into the praise that people give you. And this goes into a even bigger topic which will address the first question as well. You have to know who you are, and you have to decide who you're going to become. And when people tell you along the way that you're doing bad or doing great, you have to let that roll off your shoulders. There's a lot of talk about people saying, hey, you know, the haters, don't listen to them. But there's no talk about, hey, the praise, don't listen to that either because that'll get you just as up. There's no talk about that. All right? So. And that's probably a bigger killer than the negative because it makes People believe they've already done something. All right? So. So we have to understand that along our journey, it is very important to stay centered. And when people criticize you, don't be emotional about it at first. Ask yourself, is this a critique or is this emotional hater? If it's a critique and it's true, then you can adjust. If it's emotional hater, then you put that into your chip that you got on your shoulder, and you draw upon that on one of the 10 million times that you're not going to feel like doing what it is you want to do, or one of the 10 million times that you're going to feel like quitting. All right? Now, on the other side, if someone comes in and they say, oh, you're doing so great. You're the greatest on earth, winners will let that roll off their back. They don't give a. They don't celebrate. They don't put any stock into it. They look for the truth. All right? Is this person telling me the truth? Is this person pumping me full of. Or are they identifying things that I'm doing well? And if they're identifying the things that I'm doing well, what am I not doing well that I can improve upon?

[DJ]

There.

[Andy Prisella]

This is how champions think. Champions look for ways to get better in the negative and the positive, and they stay very balanced. There's a saying in professional athlete world where you don't read your newspaper clippings, okay? You don't read them when they're good, you don't read them when they're bad. You focus on what it is that you have to do, the actions that you have to take. You keep your head down and you work like you've got something to prove your entire life. And eventually you look around and everything that you ever dreamed of is your life, all right? But that doesn't come from other people's input unless you have the ability to. To deduce the ways to get better from both the negative and the positive. All right? So you got to keep yourself balanced. You got to learn everywhere you can. You've got to be able to recognize the difference, which is hard in the beginning because you don't have the experience, but you got to be able to recognize the difference between people just hating or people giving an honest critique or. And how do you use it? All right? Same with positive, okay? They're telling me I'm great at this. Well, why didn't they say I was great at that? I'm working really hard at that. Maybe I Need to work harder at this. Winners don't give a shit about the. The critiques or the praise unless it serves them in a certain way. And it shouldn't serve the ego. All right? People's ego, they're hubris. Now there's applications of ego, all right? It's important to have a big ego at certain points of time. What people really say is a big ego is confidence. That's what most people think is a big ego. Because confidence is so rare that they never see it and they say, oh, look, that guy's full of himself. Well, let me tell you something, dude. If you're going to walk out onto a football field in front of 100,000 people, you better think you're the shit or you're going to get killed, get

[DJ]

ran the fuck over.

[Andy Prisella]

If you're going to go speak in front of 20,000 people, you better think you're good or they're going to be. They're going to. They're going to know it. They're going to know that you're insecure. So ego serves us in certain aspects when we go to perform, but it doesn't serve us when we're preparing to perform. It's a two. Two different things. Champions will be humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution. All right? So we have to be able to determine where our ego is appropriate and where our ego is not appropriate. And the easiest way to know that is what I just said. It's humble in preparation. Don't think you're better than you are. No matter how good they're telling you, do the things you need to do, do them to the best of your ability. And then when you go out and execute, know that you did all the things that you can do, which generates real confidence, and go out and perform.

[DJ]

All right?

[Andy Prisella]

So when you. When you let your ego get involved and the emotions get involved in the preparation process, that's not a good thing. That's always going to. That's always going to get you off your game, all right?

[DJ]

Yeah, it sounds like a lot of this just comes down to some self awareness, right?

[Andy Prisella]

Like, absolutely.

[DJ]

Like, oh, you're fudgeing. You know, you're killing it. And I like my bank. I'm not killing it yet.

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying? Or you're fucking. You're doing terrible. I look at my bank account, I could be broke.

[Andy Prisella]

I. But the thing you got to remember here, dj, is that their. Their praise or their criticism is coming from their perspective. They don't know what you have planned in your head. They don't know what you're working on. They don't know what level you're trying to reach. They don't know these things. So, for example, like, I have big dreams, okay? Like, even what I've done so far in my life, I'm still very young, and I have massive goals. Massive goals so big that if I were to even tell you what they are, a lot of you guys would be like, dude, what the. This guy's insane. But it takes crazy to do crazy shit, all right? So we have to understand that when you get praise and you get criticism, like, for example, a lot of people come to me, and I know it's a compliment, and I appreciate it, but they say, dude, you're killing it. But, like, for me, I'm so far away from where I want to be that, like, I'm like, nah, dude. Like, I'm not. But for them, I'm living their dream every single day, right? So it's all relative to where they're. They're at at the moment. And you got to keep that in mind.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's some real shit, dude. That's real. Guys. Andy, we got one more question for you, bro. Guys. And you got question number three. Andy, my business is finally growing. I own a plumbing supply company, but the more it grows, the more complicated it gets. More people, more issues, more moving parts. It's not fun the way it used to be. Is that just the next level, or is that a sign you scaled something you didn't actually want? Like, bro, I want to win, but I had a way better time when we were small. And if I'm. If I'm being completely honest,

[Andy Prisella]

yeah, that's the way it goes. Okay, look. Oh, man. I can relate to that so much, dude, because as much as I love doing what I'm doing now, as much as I love seeing all the people here and coming here every day, what I really loved was working the floor of one of our retail stores because I was face to face with the customer. I was able to help them with my own two hands in my brain, and I got to see the payback of that, right? Like, that was very rewarding. I. I really enjoyed that. And as the business has grown, you know, I. It. My. My. My place of usefulness in the business is no longer that. All right? So you're gonna go through phases. You're. You started the business. It's going well. When it was small, it was probably much more intimate, and, like, you had better Time you went drinking with the boys and all your own tailgates, right?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

That shit's amazing. Yeah, like, that's the. The best memories. Well, not the best, but some of the best memories of my entrepreneurial journey. Sitting on dude, like, I can't tell you how many times Chris and I sat on, you know, that shitty ass couch in the store. Or one of us, we sit on the floor and we'd be drinking beers and we'd be talking. It'd be midnight, we'd be talking about, you know what we're gonna do, you know what I mean? Or as we got a little bigger and there was a core of, you know, 20 guys and we were going out to eat together and going to bars and having fun. That was just a different era. So you're going to go through eras of growing a company, and certain points in time are not going to be fun, bro. And when you're stretching from one level to the next level and you don't know exactly what to do, it's very high stress, it's very high anxiety. It's. It's very unfulfilling because you're frustrated most of the time. But what will happen is your company will evolve to that next level and then there will be a new set of fun that you enjoy. There will be new experiences that you enjoy. There will be different aspects that you enjoy. So we have to be very careful to think like, oh, well, these were the good old days. Well, the reason they're the good old days is because you kept progressing. All right? If you didn't progress, they'd just be the days you just be an alcoholic. Yes. And here's the reality, bro. If you stay where you were, that will no longer be fun. You. You will no longer be having fun if you stayed exactly where you are. You're only saying it was fun now because you're in a different part of the business. But if you were there every day and you're looking around, how do you even appreciate that for what it is if it's what you do every day? Okay, you see what I'm saying? So you're going to go through these levels where you're going to be building, then you're going to go through a scaling period and then you're going to. The company will become a different version of the first comp, the way it was in the beginning, and you're going to go through that many different times. And there's many different phases over the course of my business career that were a Lot of fun. They were just different. All right? And now my fun is much different than it was in the beginning. But I appreciate all of those levels because those are some of the best memories that I've ever had. So you need to let go of the idea that, you know, you're moving into something that is perpetually never going to be fun again. That's not reality. You're just in a place of scaling. And anybody who's scaling will tell you or scale anything that those are the hardest years. So the way businesses typically scale, people think this because this is what they see on the Internet. They see the glory stories. They see the guy who came up with a business, and in three years it was a $200 million business. That's what they see. That's not most businesses. Most businesses scale in phases. They go from one and then. So, like, if you're watching. Okay, if you're not watching, I'm using my. My little finger drawing here, okay?

[DJ]

You.

[Andy Prisella]

You start out at the bottom, and then you start to move up, okay? And then you plateau. And that move up usually lasts, you know, two to three years. And then you get to this new phase, and that phase usually lasts two to four years, and then you start to go again. And that's the way. So it's kind of like a step up, if that makes sense. But instead of the up being vertical, it's like at a 45. So it's like flat 45. Flat 45. And then there's time along those periods. And when you're in that 45 period, it's fun because you're making more money and things are going well, but it's also sucking all your money. Okay? So now you're like, I'm making money, but I don't. I'm still broke. Where the it going, right? So then you get into this phase, you know, where. Where things start to stabilize and the company operates and you're probably making some money, and then you're going to go on another growth phase. And during those growth phases, you're probably not going to make much money. All right? So. And. And dude, making money is not fun. All right? So. And then, you know, to. To pile on to that. What's not fun about it is not only are you not making money, you don't know what the you're doing in. In at the same time. So there's like, you're learning, right? And so when you are in this phase of not making any money, because it's sucking all your money in because you're scaling. And then you don't know all the answers because you know you've never been on this before. Now you're in a position where it feels like, this sucks.

[DJ]

Yeah, fuck this.

[Andy Prisella]

I'm not making any money. I hate my life. I'm frustrated all the time. But, dude, you just got to keep going because what happens is, is you end up leveling up again. And that happens over and over and over. And like, for me, somebody who's been doing this for 27 years, I understand that, all right? And the reason I was able to push through the first version of that was for no other reason, that I didn't have any other options. And this is why we talk about having a zero option mentality. All right? In the beginning, your back is against the wall, bro. It's either do or die. All right? And then when you start to have a little comfort and a little money, it's no longer do or die, but you have to create that mentality inside of you where it still is do or die. And the way that you do that is that you realize that if you don't keep going, you're going to lose everything you got and you're going to go back to that place of discomfort where you didn't have shit. All right? And that's worse than anything for an entrepreneur. So we have to cultivate this idea even when it's not true, that we don't have any other options. And when things get hard, like, it's funny because I'll say this to people, you've heard me say this, where I've said, you know, I don't want to dig ditches. Okay. Because that's what I've convinced myself that I will be doing if this fails.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Even at this point in time, even. Even at this point in time in my life, I look back and I say, all right, I better go, because I don't want to dig ditches. All right? Now it's a little bit different now. It's. It's more so, like, I know that's not the truth because I've cultivated a. A certain set of skills that will always. I'll always be able to provide for myself. Yeah. I'm a great speaker. I. I know a lot of you can't really take that from me. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

You might have to start a ditch digging company, but, like.

[Andy Prisella]

Well, I mean, you know, I could be like everybody else on the Internet and just sell what I know.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Which is I probably should Do. Because I, you know, that's what everybody else is doing. But I, you know, regardless, the point is, is I can always take care of myself now. So now the. The. It moves into you guys, all right? And these guys and everybody that works and associates with our companies, whether it be, you know, any of the companies that we work with, I feel a sense of responsibility to continue to go. But don't think that I'm still not thinking, like, if this really goes south, not only do they lose, but I'm gonna be digging ditches. I think that every day. Yeah. All right. So you got to cultivate that mentality to make sure that you continue to. To act urgently.

[DJ]

Yeah. How many times of those. Those stair climbs, I guess, would you say that it took you before you realize, okay, cool. This is just. This is how it works. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm sure that first. The first big jump, honestly, it probably

[Andy Prisella]

took, like, 15 years for me to figure it out.

[DJ]

Really?

[Andy Prisella]

Yeah. Maybe even 20. Wow. Because those. Those are like three and four year spans.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

You see what I'm saying? So you can't really figure it out until you go through a few of those cycles.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

All right.

[DJ]

Yeah. So that was also probably too, like, just historically, some of the hardest years, too. Right? Like 2009 you had to deal with. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Oh, no, no, listen, dude, the years where your company is actually growing are the hardest. Everybody thinks that's the most exciting time. No, it's like you're running around with your fucking ass on fire. Like, it sucks, dude. You know, and there's. There's the. The pos. You're like, okay, well, things are growing. Let me just reel this in and let me get it operating right, and let me make sure it's profitable. And, you know, it's like pruning the bush, you know what I mean? So, yeah, dude, it. It takes time. And that's why I share this lesson, because those of you who might be in that first cycle, especially when you're in your 20s and you're just getting started, you know, you have to understand that the. You're in the place where most people give up, and. And most people are in your position right now, like, let's take this guy, for example, who's got. He started this little thing. It's not what he wants it to be. It was fun. Now it's hard. And he's like, maybe I picked the wrong thing. Those are his words. Yeah, those are his words.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

Okay. But you already got do you say how many years? He hasn't it?

[DJ]

No, he didn't.

[Andy Prisella]

Okay? But you already got significant amount of years built into this, all right? And here's where people up their lives, they get to this place where it's very frustrating, and they turn around and go back and they say, well, this isn't what I wanted.

[DJ]

Yeah, it's too painful. This can't be it. Right?

[Andy Prisella]

But it. But. But what happens is, is they. Now you just wasted three years, okay? And here's what happens. They go out and they do something else, and then they find themselves in the same pattern, and they're like, this isn't it either. So then they go back again. Now you're talking about nine years wasted, all right? So three years. Go back three years again, go back. Now you're talking about nine years. And people do this all the time without realizing it, all right? They don't understand that people. A lot of people waste their lives going from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, hoping that it becomes the thing that they, quote, unquote, enjoy. That's not how the fuck it works, bro. You got to force it into something that you enjoy. You got to keep going. And you got to understand that we are all working on a timescale. You will die. All of us will. So wasting, you know, 12 years going from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing is not really a good thing. All right? And by the way, you're in plumbing. That's never going away.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Prisella]

People always gonna be. So if I were you, I'd be in a. I. I would be grateful for the business that you're in. I would be real about the challenges that are faced by building anything meaningful, and I would understand that. I have all this time invested. I have a certain skill set that a lot of people don't have, and I need to build upon that. And when you build upon that, you will get to a place that is higher than the beginning, guys, okay? And remember this, too. Lots of people that are competing with you that have other plumbing companies and. And. And they're doing the same thing that you're doing, they're quitting in this hard part, okay? If you don't quit, your competition actually goes down, all right? There's less people that you're competing with. This is practical stuff, okay? If you do it again, there's even more people that quit, all right? And then eventually you find yourself on a level where you're kind of looking around. There's probably like, two or three Other guys that are at your level and they didn't quit either. And you know what happens? You become friends with them. Yeah. Because you all respect each other because of what, you know, you went through. All right? And that's what I was trying to say the other day when we were talking about getting into circles. I think we're talking about this on the hangout last week. All right? A lot of people who are on day one, they want to be in that, like, year 20 circle. But you don't get in that circle, bro, because you haven't paid your dues. You don't have the respect of people who have been in. In 20 years. Like, dude, when you complain about three years in, the guy who's been doing it for 25 looks at you and he says, you're a. Okay, so you don't get into those rooms unless you earn that respect. All right? And then you could get it now. Now, I'm not saying you can't, like, physically get in the room and learn from the people and, and pick up what you can and provide value and potentially, you know, get a friendship going with some of these people, but they're still going to always look at you different. They're going to look at you as a little grasshopper, which, by the way, is a great thing. Because if you actually do have the ability to connect and get in a room with high level people and you're humble about it, a lot of those people will go out of their way to help you as long as they see that you're pushing through this hard. Okay? Nobody wants to waste their time on people that are bitching about how hard it is. It's fucking hard, bro. It's the hardest thing you could ever choose to do. You could not pick a harder profession in the history of humankind than to become a entrepreneur. It's the hardest thing. That's also why there's the biggest reward. So you have to think about what you really want. Entrepreneurship and the way the Internet, you know, tries to make it, they try to make it like it's for everybody. But, dude, quite honestly, it's not for everybody. And it's not for everybody. Not because they can't do it. It's not for everybody because it doesn't produce the life that they think entrepreneurship is about. You follow me?

[DJ]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Andy Prisella]

They get into it thinking, oh, man, I'm going to become an entrepreneur. I'm going to start a brand. I'm going to become my own boss, make my own schedule, bro, you're you're not your own boss. You just think you are, because when you own a company, your customers are the boss. And by the way, if you're a good leader, your employees are the boss because you're answering to them, you're helping them, you're. You're developing them, you're taking care the. The. You. You're always going to answer to somebody. It's just, who do you want to answer to? Do you want to answer to some dude that you know. You know, and maybe you like him. Maybe he's a good dude. Maybe, maybe. Maybe you really like your boss, okay? And that's a good thing, by the way. But maybe you're thinking, oh, man, I need to go out and do it on my own. Well, you need to really think about what that dude goes through, because it isn't what you think you see. It's not, you know, the, the high life that the Internet makes it out to be, right? And everybody has a different version of what success looks like. And you need to be real clear about what you think that is. Here's what I will tell you from my experience. I'm glad I went when I was young. I'm glad I went hard as when I was a young man. I'm glad I didn't waste that time. All right? That's my perspective on it.

[DJ]

Yeah, I love it.

[Andy Prisella]

It's been well worth the journey. It's been very hard. I've. There's been a gazillion times I wanted to quit. There's still times I want to quit it. Ha. Literally probably every week I go through a serious debate in my head of like, what the am I doing? Okay, but that's where you have to have this big vision, bro. You've got to have this vision for your life that is so big that it. It literally, like, propels you forward into it. And you have to understand that once you create that vision for yourself, if you don't fulfill it, it's going to be one of your biggest regrets of your life. When they've interviewed thousands of people when they're on their deathbed, the regrets aren't the things that they did. Their regrets are the things they didn't do. Okay? So you got to think about that. Not everybody has this big vision. Not everybody wants to, you know, make, you know, millions of dollars a year. But those people are going to have different challenges, right? They're going to have to consider what things cost on the menu. They're going to have to consider where they go for vacation. They're going to have to consider what cars they drive. They're going to have to make different concessions in their life that you're not going to have to make when you have a lot of money, okay? Having a lot of money is a great thing. And nobody that has a lot of money will ever tell you any different. You always hear from people who don't have money how evil it is and how bad it is and how you shouldn't pursue it. You ever wonder why that is? You ever wonder why you don't have people like, who have gone out and built things? Say, man, I really regret doing that. Have you ever heard that? No, I've never heard that either. I only hear that from do nothing losers on the Internet who are trying to morally have a high ground over people who are actually doing things. Okay? So keep that in mind, too. Everybody shits on it and the reason they on it is because they didn't do it and you're doing it.

[DJ]

That's real, bro. That's real, man. Guys. Andy. Dude, that's three. That's a hell of a way to start a week, man.

[Andy Prisella]

All right, guys, well, we will see you tonight, 7 Central, on YouTube and X and 7pm Central, CTI Live. Don't be a hoe share the show

[DJ]

went from sleeping on the flow now

[Andy Prisella]

my jury box froze Fuck a bow, fuck a stove Counted millions in a

[DJ]

cold bad bitch booted swole Got her

[Andy Prisella]

own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.