1022. Q&AF: Fitting In While Growing, Finding Purpose In Success & Hiring Your First Employee

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode 1022: Q&AF—Fitting In While Growing, Finding Purpose in Success, & Hiring Your First Employee

Date: May 4, 2026
Host: Andy Frisella
Guest/Co-Host: DJ

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Episode Overview

In this Q&AF episode, Andy and DJ tackle three listener questions on personal growth, fulfillment in career success, and the challenges of hiring your first employee. The discussion revolves around the difficulties of outgrowing your environment, finding meaning after financial success, and the realities (and mindset) of building a team as your business grows.

The episode is packed with direct, no-nonsense advice. Andy draws on his own entrepreneurial journey, sharing actionable insights for ambitious listeners, and addresses common mindsets that can either accelerate or derail progress.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fitting In While Growing (09:00–16:00)

Listener Question:
A 21-year-old asks how to deal with feeling out of place among friends and family while working hard to improve himself. He worries about coming off as arrogant, but doesn’t want to “shrink back.”

Andy’s Take:

• Arrogance is often projected:
  “What is arrogant? Arrogant is a label that they're giving you because you're trying to improve yourself... That's just how they perceive it because they're not doing anything.” (09:54)
• Don’t pay attention to naysayers:
  “You should give it zero energy. You should think about it 0%.” (10:30)
• Most people stay the same—and that’s the problem:
  “The whole point of trying to go through the journey of life is growth and improvement... If you're bragging about being the same as you were 5, 10, 20 years ago, your mind is fucked up.” (12:30)
• Realness isn’t stagnation:
  “Real is saying, ‘Hey, I'm not where I want to be, and I'm willing to do whatever the fuck it takes to get there, and I'm going to do it.’ That's some real shit.” (15:00)

Memorable Moment:

• DJ jokes, “Fuck, man. Yeah, I never switched up.” Andy fires back, “Yeah, that's your whole fucking problem, dude.” (13:20)

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2. Finding Purpose in Success (16:50–34:30)

Listener Question:
A 29-year-old in tech sales feels empty despite reaching financial goals, asking if Andy has felt similarly “empty” after achieving success.

Andy’s Take:

• It happens to everyone:
  “Every single wealthy person, if they have any kind of introspective ability, goes through this.” (16:54)

• Your purpose must evolve beyond money:
  Andy recounts making real money for the first time, then getting sick and feeling deeply unfulfilled. He realized: “You get acclimated to the things around you... When you buy a new house, you're like, ‘Oh my God, I love my house.’ Two, three years later, it's just home.” (20:41)

• Three components of fulfillment (plus intent):

  1. Purpose: Your mission has to be about more than just personal gain. “Make it bigger than yourself.” (24:00)
  2. Gratitude: “You may not be where you want to be, but you are a hell of a lot better off than a lot of other people.” (25:30)
  3. Discipline: Consistently manage what you can control about yourself. (27:00)
  4. Intent: “Audit your intent... Is the intent on yourself or is it on others?” (22:00)

• Happiness isn’t reserved for the poor:
  “You do not have to be poor to be happy. That is a poor people thought process. That justifies their own inaction...” (31:17)

Notable Quotes:

• “There's nothing more depressing than going to these rich people parties... They're drinking the expensive champagne, and dude, honestly, it's just gay. Like, it really just is. That's the only way I can say it. And it's very sad, because a lot of these people are very empty.” (20:41)
• “You can't be happy when you have ambition and you have goals and you're poor.” (32:13)

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3. Hiring Your First Employee (35:40–52:30)

Listener Question:
A new business owner feels pressure about hiring his first employee, worried about all the things that could go wrong.

Andy’s Take:

• Everyone faces this fear:
  “Get in your fucking car and drive down the fucking road and look... look at all the businesses. Thousands in your city. Do you really believe you're the only motherfucker that can't hire someone and get them to work for you?” (37:00)
• People want to be part of something:
  “Most people want to be part of something. Most people want to win. Most people want to feel fulfilled. Far more people leave their jobs because they don't feel like they're contributing than they do for pay.” (38:19)
• Sell your vision—not just a job:
  “The vision can't just be, you know, Steve's Construction. It can't be, like, 'you guys are going to work for me, I'm going to make most of the money.' What it needs to be is, 'Hey, we're going to build the best construction company ever...' Paint the vision big enough that they can see themselves inside of it.” (39:07)
• Be honest and participative:
  “You've got to participate ... If you're leaving on Thursday and coming back on Tuesday and going to fish, they're going to fucking hate you.” (46:08)
• Passing vision through generations:
  Andy discusses how companies lose vision over generations, especially when second or third generation owners haven’t experienced building from scratch. (46:20–50:00)

Memorable Quotes & Insights:

• “The fear cost me [four years]. I could be where I'm at now four years younger. What's that worth?” (45:08)
• DJ: “They're going to fuck up the force.” Andy: “All the things you're afraid of—they're going to happen anyway. But every time it does, you get better and you learn how to avoid that next time...” (44:46–45:29)
• On inheriting a business: “When you take something, if it goes from zero to 10 million, and then you take it from 10 to a billion, you're fucking great, okay? Like, you should feel great.” (51:00)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On personal evolution:
  “If you're bragging about being the same as you were 5, 10, 20 years ago, your mind is fucked up.” — Andy Frisella (12:30)
• On the culture of ambition:
  “The American ambition culture, the hard working culture, the want to win culture, is back in full swing with the young men and young women.” — Andy Frisella (14:29)
• On finding fulfillment after money:
  “If your purpose is just to make some money, eventually when you get it, you're going to feel how you're describing.” — Andy Frisella (23:00)
• On leadership and hiring:
  “If you have a big vision, you care about your people, you help them win... you're not going to have a problem, man.” — Andy Frisella (42:35)
• On inheriting a business:
  “You are getting that, not to destroy it or take it for granted... You are getting that as a steward of something that really wasn't yours but is now yours.” — Andy Frisella (49:37)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [09:00] — How to handle outgrowing your environment without arrogance
• [16:50] — Feeling unfulfilled after early financial success
• [24:00] — The four pillars of fulfillment: purpose, gratitude, discipline, intent
• [35:40] — The psychology and process of hiring your first employee
• [39:07] — Selling your team the bigger vision
• [46:20] — Dangers of losing vision in second and third generation businesses

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Final Word

The episode delivers classic Andy Frisella—blunt, practical, and motivational. Key takeaways include the importance of continual personal growth, making your mission bigger than yourself, staying grateful (no matter your circumstances), and leading with vision, especially as your business grows. Andy stresses that fulfillment isn’t found in stasis or in stuff, but in purpose, discipline, gratitude, and the daily pursuit of becoming more than you were yesterday.

Transcript

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head shot. Case closed.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Prisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality. Guys. Today we have Q and A, F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJs going to tell you how you could submit your questions.

[DJ]

Yeah, guys, we want your questions. Please email them in to ask andy frisella.com that's one way to do it. You can also check the link in the description below. Submit your questions there or just drop them in the comments section of the Q and A videos on the YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Now guys, if this is your first time listening, we do have other shows within the show. We have Cruise the Internet, we call it cti. That's where we put topics up here on the screen. We talk about what's going on, we speculate, and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we also have real talk. Real talks. Just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses is where people who come on the show who have completed 75 hard and transformed their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, I don't know where you've been. But it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And you get that for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. It's only on audio. It's not on YouTube. You can also get a book. The book is called the Book on Mental Toughness. You get [e-mail] it has everything that is inside the LiveHeard program, plus a whole bunch of extra content about mental toughness, why it's important, how to cultivate it and use it in your life. Now, the book is not free, by the way, but if you're someone who likes to know the ins and outs and all the details like I am, it's a hell of a book. With that being said, we are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads. And we do that for a very simple reason. I never want you to think that what I'm saying is being forced or paid for me to say I'm going to give you my honest takes. And so in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. If you learn some shit, do us a favor and share the show. All right? So don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

What's up, man?

[DJ]

Salutations.

[Andy Frisella]

Greetings, greetings.

[DJ]

Fine shits. Mitsubishi soy sauce.

[Andy Frisella]

I speak Kawasaki. Toyota.

[DJ]

That's right. That's right. Dave's like, I can understand them. What's going on, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Nothing, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah, beautiful day, dog. Yeah, Beautiful day out here. It's. It's great.

[Andy Frisella]

It's. It's been good. The last two days.

[DJ]

It's been all right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I wasn't planning on it being great because we call for, like, storms and.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

But it's been. Been perfect.

[DJ]

It's coming tomorrow, I think.

[Andy Frisella]

Is it? Hey, it can come on Monday and Tuesday, man, but I will take the weekend.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Weekends, you know, we're both out riding today. This is Sunday, by the way. We're recording this.

[DJ]

It is.

[Andy Frisella]

A lot of people been asking me. They. They've been asking me about all the bike content I've been putting up, and they think that, like, that's new to me. Right. I'm getting a lot of, you know, it's okay. But a lot of people saying, hey, be careful. Wear a helmet this and that.

[DJ]

Wear your seat belt.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Look, guys, I've been riding bikes since I was 8 years old, all right? Dirt bikes. I've had a street bike literally since I was 17 the entire time. And I have multiple bikes. And that bike that you guys have been asking about, that's not a new bike. I've had that for over a decade. The reason that you've never seen me post about it is because for a while, I took a hiatus from riding motorcycles. And the reason that I took a hiatus from riding motorcycles is because I have a lot of people who depend on me. And we are to a point now where the companies are pretty much self sustaining. I'm not the CEO anymore. I do help with things, but if something were to happen to me, we'd be okay. So I'm back to doing that I actually want to do. And so I just want to let you guys know that, because I've been getting lots of questions about it.

[DJ]

It's not a midlife crisis.

[Andy Frisella]

No. Yeah. No. It's something I've always been into. And for a while there, it was just something that you Know, we had to start taking precautions, you know, things that people don't think about. Like, my brother and I never fly on the same airplane. My business partner and I never fly on the same airplane. These are things that we do to ensure that if something were to happen, everything would be okay. And, you know, I got to live a life, too, man. And these are things that I enjoy. So I just wanted to mention that because a lot of people have been asking me about it now.

[DJ]

It has been a minute, but how's it feel?

[Andy Frisella]

You know, the first day I was out, it felt a little. It was. I was a little wobbly. I got. You know how, like, when you first start getting. It felt like when you first start riding kind of on the road, where you're, like. You're kind. It's kind of not relaxing because you're like. Yeah, you're nervous. But really, after, like, 30 minutes, dude, it all went away. Everything came back.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And I feel good.

[DJ]

There's nothing else like it there.

[Andy Frisella]

There really isn't. I mean, I'm still a car guy. I love cars. I'm always gonna love cars way more than bikes, but it is a totally different thing.

[DJ]

It's something about just strapping a powerful engine between your nuts. Well, there's just something there.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm used to that, so.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's something there.

[Andy Frisella]

No, I'm just saying, dude.

[DJ]

Like, there's just nothing. Like, there's nothing else.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, it's a different thing. And, you know, I think for all you guys that ride, you know, my. My recommendation will always be, you know, try to stay out of traffic, dude. I think, you know, riding is an amazing thing. It's very fun. But riding through the city and on the highway and in traffic and lane splitting and all that, bro. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of which. Win 100, and, you know, just. Just be smart.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I know there's guys that are listening right now. I'd be like, you're a. If you don't lane spit and ride it every day and write it up. Okay, well, then I'm a. Like, you know, whatever you say, but it ain't worth being stupid, dude. Yeah. I've had a number of friends over the years who have passed away from bikes.

[DJ]

Same.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, dude. And it's. It's something that, you know, the minute you don't use your brain, you could be a mark on the asphalt, and, you know, people are wearing a T shirt with your Face airbrushed on it.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I'm saying.

[DJ]

That's right. So that's right now, dude. It's what. I've had to mature a lot from riding. Yeah, I was.

[Andy Frisella]

Especially with kids.

[DJ]

Yeah. Like when I first started riding, the amount of side mirrors that I punched off. Well, just from being a.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I'm saying? Sometimes people deserve it.

[DJ]

Some people do.

[Andy Frisella]

That's the other thing. You guys that don't ride, you don't understand what you're doing. When you get close to a bike or you're riding its blind spot. It all it takes is one fucking time of a slight mistake. It's not like a car where you're like, oops, you motherfuckers that text and drive and don't pay attention. You are fucking assholes. And on top of that, give them their space. Don't ride up on their back. You know, Give them plenty of room and, you know, be courteous and watch out, you know, like, bro, I got

[DJ]

cut off like twice just on the way here.

[Andy Frisella]

I know, dude.

[DJ]

You know, I'm saying, people just pulling

[Andy Frisella]

out, it's way more dangerous than it used to be. Before texting, it was so much easier to ride because people were paying way more attention. Yeah, but now you got all these

[DJ]

cars were not as fast back then either, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah, we have buggies, actually.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, you know, we had buggies. It was a lot easier when it was horse and buggy.

[DJ]

That's right. Yeah. Model T's.

[Andy Frisella]

Nah, man. It's just annoying how unaware and how disrespectful drivers are to riders, you know? It's like, dude. You guys.

[DJ]

Yeah, no, for sure.

[Andy Frisella]

So unless you're on a road bike, then you.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Well, that's a whole different conversation.

[Andy Frisella]

Road bikers, cyclists. You got motorcycle. I'm talking about motorcycles. The road bikers. There's something wrong with y', all, you know, you don't. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Is that the next stage?

[Andy Frisella]

I guess.

[DJ]

Is that where we go next?

[Andy Frisella]

I guess.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

No, I fucking.

[DJ]

We get the skin tight suit, the helmet.

[Andy Frisella]

That will never happen.

[DJ]

Fucking clicky shoes.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. They own the road.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right.

[DJ]

Fuck, man. Hell yeah, dude. Well, guys, listen, it's gonna be a great show. I got three good ones for you.

[Andy Frisella]

All right?

[DJ]

Let's make some people better today, guys. Andy, question number one. Hey, Andy, DJ, the team. I'm about to turn 21 here. In a few weeks. And I've been working on myself a lot last couple of years, getting ready for the real world, my mindset, my fitness, etc. I'm finishing school next semester with a degree in accounting. I have a good place to work lined up. Things are going really well. What I am struggling with is when I'm around certain friends or even family, I feel like I don't fit in. I don't feel like I fit the same. I came from nothing. Most of my close family is slightly overweight and they continue to make bad decisions. I just chose not to thanks to your help and all that you do. I don't want to think I'm better than anyone, but I also don't want to shrink back and stay comfortable. How do you handle that without becoming arrogant?

[Andy Frisella]

What is arrogant? Arrogant? Arrogant is a label that they're giving you because you're trying to improve yourself. Trying to improve yourself and be better and build and create and become. What you see inside of you is not arrogant. That doesn't make you better than them. That's just how they perceive it because they're not doing anything. Okay? So when they say that to you, you have to understand that it means nothing. Okay? It means nothing. Nothing. You should give it zero energy. You should think about it 0%. You should really just understand that those people are going to be the exact same place, the exact same people, doing the exact same things. When you are 41 that they are now. When you're 21, you have to understand that. So anything that you take from them that is anything other than, hey man, I really, you know, whatever I can do, I know I don't know much, but I'll help you any way I can. I hope you make it. Let's make it. And they cheer. Anything other than that is probably terrible information. Terrible information. Unless, which is rare, they are willing to tell you why they, they haven't been able to be successful and be honest about it. But most people aren't. Most people make up stories. They talk about, you know, how they got screwed over or the, you know, the challenges that they weren't able to overcome or the victimhood that the world has bestowed upon them. And these people are cancerous to the mindset and the drive and the ambition that you have. Anybody out here listening? If you have goals and you have dreams and you want to be better, and these losers call you arrogant, you have to understand that that means fucking nothing. Arrogant is when you're overestimating your own importance and your own abilities and dude, all you're doing is trying to be better.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

That's not arrogance. Okay, come to me in 10 years or five years when you're making a few million bucks a year and you think you're Elon Musk and I'll tell you, you're an arrogant fuck. That's right. But that's coming from me. That's coming from someone who's further down the road. You should never listen to people who are not further down the road with you when it comes to criticism because their criticism comes from a place of insecurity. It does not come from a real place. Okay? And you have to understand, these people will sell themselves on these stories that, that are total about why they never became who they wanted to become. And they will sell themselves so hard on that story, they will eventually pretend that's what they wanted. They will say that they will take pride in being the same. I'm the same. I was as a. As I always was. Well, dude, that's pretty terrible. The whole point of trying to go through the journey of life is growth and improvement and, and progression and tapping your God given potential that you were gifted with and bringing that into the world. And if you're bragging about being the same as you were 5, 10, 20 years ago, your mind is fucked up. You don't understand what's going on. Okay? So you should give these people zero percent of your thought and your energy. Zero.

[DJ]

Fuck, man. Yeah, I never switched up.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, bro, I've always been the same. Yeah, that's your whole fucking problem, dude.

[DJ]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, have you figured that out yet? You're drinking the same place, you're talking to the same people, you're living in the same town, you're working the same job. You're fucking exactly the same. In fact, all this change is that you've gotten fatter and dumber and grayer and older and worse. So you're not actually even the same. You're worse than you were. And then they'll brag about it like it's some sort of, you know, badge of honor. Oh, I'm the realest motherfucker out there because I'm the same? No, you're a dumbass, okay? You're a dumbass and you don't understand and you've sold yourself and manipulated your own mind into believing that some somehow doing nothing with your life is some sort of thing to brag about. You're. There's nothing about you that's cool. Like, that's not cool.

[DJ]

No, man. So stay on the path. Yeah, stay with it. Yeah, Yeah. I love it, dude. Ah. Is it interesting too? I'm.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't like.

[DJ]

Do you see it? I feel like that culture, especially with the young guys, right? Like, it's kind like they're getting it. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah, listen, the, the, the American ambition culture, the hard working culture, the one to win culture, is back in full swing with the young men and young women. It's awesome. It's. And you know, you got to understand the reason that they don't like, the reason that young people struggle with this at 21 years old is because they don't have the perspective of someone who's 40. They don't, they don't know someone who's 40 who has gone down the path that they wanted to go down, that they were intended to go on. That person literally watched their best friends, the people they at one point care the most about, waste their entire lives. They've seen it, okay? But when you're 21, you can't see that. You don't understand where these people are going. But I'm telling you, that's what happens. And those people that are saying that same shit, I'm sure a lot of what I just said resonated with a lot of people, right? Man, that's true. People do brag about staying the same. They do say it's real. No, that's not real. Real is saying, hey, I'm where I'm at and I'm not where I want to be, and I'm willing to do whatever the fuck it takes to get there, and I'm going to do it. And then doing it. That's some real shit. That's real man shit, okay? Real man shit is not living the same life over and over and over again for 60 fucking years. And then, you know, struggling your whole life, bitching your whole life, complaining about your whole life and then acting like you chose it. Okay? Like you wanted it. You didn't fucking want that. You're a liar. You're lying.

[DJ]

Dude, I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's just weak ass shit, bro.

[DJ]

I love it, bro. I love it. Hell yeah, man. Guys, Andy, let's get another question in, man. Guys, any question number two. Andy, I'm 29. I work in tech sales and I've had a couple really good years. Financially, way better than I ever expected this early. The weird part is the things I thought would make me feel accomplished. Money, hitting my numbers, the recognition. They don't hit the way I Thought they would. It's like the high is shorter every time, and then I'm right back chasing the next thing. It makes me wonder if I'm chasing the wrong stuff, but I don't really know what else to chase. Did you go through that? And were you technically. Where you're technically winning, but it doesn't feel the way you expected?

[Andy Frisella]

1,000%.

[DJ]

Oh, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. Thousand percent, okay. Every single wealthy person, if they have any kind of introspective ability, goes through this, all right? In the beginning, when I was young, when I was 19, when I started in business, bro, I wanted boats and hoes and money, okay? Like, that's what the fuck I wanted. I wanted to make a lot of money. I wanted to have cool shit. I. I wanted to have hot girls. I wanted all the shit that all the young men want, okay? And that's what I wanted, all right? So I worked and worked. I worked and worked and worked and worked at work. And eventually I got to a point where I made a lot of money, all right? And that was about. For me, as you guys know, my first three years, I made $0. My next seven years, I made $695 a month for a total of $58,380. In my 11th year, I made $180,000, and I thought I was rich. And then the year after that, I made seven figures, and I've never made less than that since then. Okay? So in 2000, this was. So that would be 2011, 12 in 2014, 15. I had more money than I ever could imagine having because of what I had just been through. Being broke, right?

[DJ]

That's a big change.

[Andy Frisella]

Huge change. Huge change. And I also hadn't, like, really upgraded my lifestyle, so I was like. I was stacking cash, all right? So I got sick. I got pneumonia. And for the first time in 14 years, I missed a significant amount of work. I missed 17 days of work. Work, okay, work days. Not. Not just weekends, like, Monday through Friday. So it was like, you know, two weeks. Two full weeks, right? Or three full weeks.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And I was so sick, dude. I had pneumonia, and it was really bad. And anybody who's had pneumonia knows, like, it is terrible. And I was laying on the couch, and I'm. I was watching movies, and, you know, just sitting there and I watched. You know, I could pull up my banking app on my phone, and I could see the money going in, and I watched my money keep going up. Everything was going good, but I was fucking miserable because I was at home Pretty much alone for all that time. I didn't see anybody at work. I didn't get to socialize. It was bad. And, like, I was very depressed. And it, like, clicked because up until then, money was the focus of the reason. I started, for the most part, around 2010, I kind of had a. You guys know the story where I had this deal where my intent really switched, and that's when we started making money. But that's not. That's not part of this conversation. So I never understood, like, you. You know, you hear about these people that have everything and then they, like, blow their brains out. And you're like, what the. Dude, you had everything. Why the would you do that? You have to understand, they didn't have everything because everything. They were used to everything. So it's like when you go somewhere and it's brand new, you know, if you go to Disneyland the first day, you're like, holy, this is amazing, right? The next day, Disneyland is probably a bad example. But the point is, if you go there for 200 days in a row, it's just what it is, all right? When you buy a new house and you. You go to the new house, you're like, oh, my God, I love my house. It's so amazing. Two, three years later, you're. It's just home.

[DJ]

Just home.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Yeah. So you get acclimated to the things around you. And this is why these wealthy people who have no goals, no ambition, no. No purpose past the point of making money, get so depressed, all right? Because, dude, let me tell you something. And I've seen this shit. There's nothing more depressing than going to these rich people parties and seeing everybody wear the big jewelry and the nice watches. And by the way, I like the shit. It's not my fucking purpose in life, you know? And they're taking all the group watch shots, and it's like, dude, aren't you guys tired of this shit? Like. Like. And. And, you know, like, they're drinking the expensive champagne and everybody's hobnobbing, and, dude, it's just like, honestly, it's just gay. Like, it really just is. Like, that's the only way I could say it. And it's very sad. It's very sad because a lot of these people are very empty. But it doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't have to be that way. And it's not supposed to be that way. So when I was sick, I had this revelation. I'm like, oh, this. Even though I wasn't the wealthiest guy. I was wealthy for me.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And, you know, I had out. I had out earned, you know, anybody that I personally knew, anybody in my family. And for me, like, I was like, dude, this is what you're. This is what I always, you know, was supposed to do. And it dawned on me, like, at this really, like, in a really, like, hard way, I said, this is why they kill themselves. This is why. And I realized that I needed to figure out how to make that go away. And so what I. What I realized is that there are three things that you have to do in order to continue to feel what you're looking for, which is fulfillment, your ambition, your drive, not complacent. Okay? So the three things. Well, the first thing I figured out was I had a bunch of people who had worked very hard for us that had helped us build this business. And I said, okay, they help me, I got to help them. And that was like, the first thing I thought, okay. So it changed my purpose from me to them, just like I did in 2011 when we changed the purpose from me to the customer, which is what set the business on the track in the first place. So I did the same thing for my employees. I said in my mind and in my heart, I said, okay, this isn't about you anymore. It's about them, all right? And so I switched that focus, which gave me more purpose. And there's three things that you have to have, okay? You have to have actually four things. One, you got to have the right intent. Is the intent on yourself or is it on others? Okay? And if your intent is on yourself with your customers, you're going to lose. If your intent is on yourself with your employees, you're going to lose, okay? It's a two way street. And if you focus on them, they will give to you and vice versa. That's how it works. So you got to have the right intent. Where's your intent? Is your intent on you? I would bet if I'm talking to you, your intent has been on just getting you some motherfucking coin. That's what it's been. So audit your intent, all right? The next thing is there's three things that you have to have in order to feel happy on the process, okay? And that's something that's very important for people to understand. Yes, the money's cool. Yes, the success is awesome. But you know what I love the most of anything that I do is coming in here and being around the team. I love it. Dude, I'm here Every single day. I was just talking. I think out of the days, besides the times I've been out of town, I've probably. In six years, I've probably missed less than a week of days here, okay? And that's Saturday and Sunday. So I'm here every day because I love being here. And that leads into what I'm going to talk about here for a second, which I think you all need to pay very close attention to. All right? There's three things that you need to have that will bring you fulfillment and happiness. One, you have to have a purpose. Okay? Humans are meant for a bigger purpose. They're not just meant to trade some of their life for some money and then go spend some shit. That's not what it's about. Now, I love all the shit. I've got all the cars. I've got a cool, you know, I've got cool properties. I do whatever I want. I love this shit. That's my lifestyle. That's my standard, okay? And I'm not changing it. But it's not. It's not anything more than life experience. It's just. It's how I choose to want to live, Right? I'm talking about real purpose. Okay? What is your purpose? What are you building? What are you creating? What are you. What are you pursuing? Who are you becoming? All right? And why? All right? So you have to have a real purpose. And if your purpose is just to make some money, eventually when you get it, you're going to feel how you're describing, all right? And everybody who makes money feels this way in the beginning, and some never correct it. So this is very important for you guys to hear because I'm sure you're going to get to a point where you're making a lot of money if you listen to the. That I tell you. If you don't, you might not. But I'm going to tell you, if you listen to shit I tell you, you're going to win. So you got to have the purpose, okay? The second thing is you got to be grateful and have gratitude for where you are at the moment. All right? Understand, you may not be where you want to be, but you are a hell of a lot better off than a lot of other people. And you're a hell of a lot better off than the worst case scenario. And it doesn't matter how bad things are for you right now. It could be a lot worse, okay? So even if you're at rock bottom, you're not really at rock bottom, bro. It could Get a lot deeper, all right? Be grateful for where you are and grateful for the opportunity to move forward and look at the small things. Even when I was broke, dude, and didn't have shit, part of my daily prayer at night was always, thank you, God, for making me who I am. And I wouldn't trade places with any. Anybody on the planet. I love who I am and I love who you made me. And I love the people in my life. And I would never. And I mean this, dude. I would never trade with anybody. I wouldn't trade with anybody on this planet. I like being me. I love the people in my life, and I've always felt that way, even when I didn't have any money, okay? So you got to be grateful. And the last thing is you have to practice discipline. You got to be able to cultivate the ability to control the things that you are in control of. These are very simple things that dictate most of the outcome of our life. Okay? This is what you eat. This is what you drink. This is what you put in your mind. This is who you associate with. These are simple things with a few other things that you are in control of that dictate most of your reality. All right? So you have to cultivate the ability to be disciplined. This is the whole point of 75 hard and the live hard program. It's about teaching you that discipline is not a trait that people are born with. It's a skill. And it's also a perishable skill that you have to continue to invest in over time. If you can do these four things together, audit your intent, figure out what your purpose is, and make it bigger than yourself. Much bigger. And by the way, you're going to have to redo your purpose many times over the journey because you're going to get to the point where you're at again where you're going to feel like, well, yeah, I'm doing this. But it's, you know, I'm kind of. I'm kind of. Well, then fucking make it bigger, bro. All right? You got to continue to make the purpose bigger as you go. This is why these wealthy people fucking are so miserable, because they don't do that. They get to the point where they buy a $30 million house and they got an airplane and they got a boat and they got all this shit. And. And they. And they fuck. What do they do? They fucking drink all day. They drink, start 11 o' clock in the morning. Their life becomes a wreck. And, you know, it's. There's no way to live. Okay? And by the way, that's not all wealthy people. That's just people that don't figure it out. There's plenty of people that figure it out. So this whole fucking idea that all the fucking broke you say about, oh, rich people are so unhappy. Like, they'll say this shit on Instagram. Yeah, but are you happy? Well, are you fucking happy, right?

[DJ]

Like.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, oh, are you happy eating fucking ramen and driving a shit box and living in your shithole apartment? Are you happy? Right? Like, you're not. You don't have to have one or the other. You don't have to be poor to be happy. You can be very wealthy and be happy if you understand that that's not the focus of your entire life. And actually, the way that you become wealthy is by having a big enough purpose that changes enough people or serves enough people that they trade you the money for it. You just don't understand the game, all right? So you got to have the purpose. You got to be grateful for where you are, like I explained. And then you've got to be able to be disciplined. And if you could combine those four points, it will remove the feeling that you are having, which is very common amongst people who be. When they start making real money.

[DJ]

Yeah. Did I want to ask you this too, on the point of being grateful and practicing gratitude, right? Because you mentioned, like, you did it when you were. When you were poor, when you didn't have anything. Is it harder to be grateful when you're poor versus when you're rich?

[Andy Frisella]

You don't know what. You don't know what it's like to be rich. It's just you're grateful. You know what I mean? Like, when you're poor, you don't fucking know. And when you're rich, you know, and you're like, yeah, this is awesome, but okay, you know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Like, I got it.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? No, it's not harder. It's. It's. It's. It's not. No, no, the answer is no. The. The thing is, is sometimes when people get rich, they forget to be grateful because they get immune to the life that they have, which is exceptional. So when things go wrong, they get angry and then they bitch and they cry and they forget about what it used to be like.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Right? So. And dude, I want to drive this point home before we move on to question three, but, dude, you do not have to be poor to be happy. That is a. That is a poor people thought process. Process. That justifies their own inaction and their own willingness to go down the harder path. And that's why they say things to people who are doing things like this man is doing where he's out building his life, becoming who he wants to be. And then, you know, they'll. He'll go out and buy a nice house and buy a nice car and do the things that you do when you get some money. And people are going to say, oh, I bet he's not happy. I bet he's not happy. That's just them, like, discounting what they could have been so it doesn't hurt them as bad, you know?

[DJ]

So real. Yeah, that's the truth.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, they're full of. Dude. True, bro, listen, you cannot.

[DJ]

I would argue you can't be happy when you're poor if you're being real, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

No, you can.

[DJ]

It's hard.

[Andy Frisella]

You can be. Because someone don't have. Here's where you can't be happy, okay? You can't be happy when you have ambition and you have goals and you're poor if you are. If you are poor and you don't have, like, bigger goals. And your goal might just be to, you know, do your life. You know, Some people. Listen, man, not everybody's ambitious. Not everybody has big goals. This show isn't for those people, okay? Those people should go listen to music and just be happy, dude. The. You can be happy, but. But you can't. You can't have goals and ambitions and be poor and be happy.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

You gotta pick. Pick something.

[Andy Frisella]

No, no, they. They don't even. Dude, listen, man, some people have never, ever, ever had anyone in their life tell them that they could have anything more than what they have. Okay? I was talking to my buddy Parker, and Parker owns a business, and he's a young man. He's. He's under 30. And he has an employee that was like in his 40s. And they were doing, like, he was doing one on ones. And he said, okay, well, what do you want? And he's like, what do you mean, what do I want? He said, what do you want out of your life? And he's like, well, you know, I. I don't know. Like, I. What do you mean? Like, he could not comprehend what Parker was asking him. And finally Parker got him to say, well, I'd like to have a nicer car. Okay. Which is a great start. That's a good place to start. And then the guy paused and looked at him and said, nobody in my Whole life has ever asked me that. Nobody has ever asked me that. And we have to understand that there are a lot of people that have never had anyone make them believe that they could be fucking anything more than what they are. And a lot of times those people go through their whole life and dude, to be completely honest, those people are happy because they've never been told they could have more. So they don't desire more, so they just do their life. And that is okay. But if you have ambitions and you have goals and you stay poor, you're going to be in agony your entire life.

[DJ]

That's so real, bro. It makes me think too. It's like, you know, it's. They're fine with like. I mean, this goes into CTI guys are here to that tonight. But like, I mean, it's easy to. They have no problem convincing a kid they can be, you know, opposite genders.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Convincing them that they can go fucking achieve some shit.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes, sir. That's all about control, bro. It's all about control. They don't tell us what we're capable of because if they teach us what we're actually capable of, we become too powerful to control. It's the same reason that taxes are the way they are. They can print as much money as they want. So why the fuck are they taxing us? Well, they tax us because if they don't, we. We will become too financially power powerful to actually be controlled the way they would like to control us. So you have to understand that the system that we live in is in complete contrast to what they tell us America is actually about. This is the whole reason we do cti, by the way. Okay? What they say America is about and what it actually is are two different things. Our job is to wake enough motherfuckers up to and get enough people aware and dedicated to becoming personally excellent in all areas, that it shifts that culture back to what America is supposed to be.

[DJ]

Absolutely, dude. Absolutely. Guys. Andy, let's get to our third and final question here. Question number three, Andy. I created my flooring business about two years ago, and I'm starting to get really busy to the point where I need to start hiring some guys. My question is, how did you handle the pressure of hiring people for the first time? Your first hire, how long ago was that?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, I mean, we had to have people help with the store. I mean, immediately. Like, our first people that helped, they were like our good friends. These are people that just came in when they could. They worked shifts. I'm very grateful for Those people, you know, they came in, they. They helped us. They believed in us. We didn't have any systems. We didn't know anything. But they. They stood there, did their best, and we wouldn't be there without those people. So we had to have those kind of people. In the beginning. Sometimes we couldn't even pay them, dude, you know what I mean? Sometimes pay was taking them to dinner, you know, like, and the dinner was free because we knew the guys. So, like. So. So we had a lot of people. You know, as much as we talk about, like, most people didn't believe in us, we had a handful that did. And I'll never forget those people. And they were just our friends. Okay, so. But hiring our first real employee, a lot about. So my biggest lesson in business came from opening our second store. All right? We. It took us five years to open store number two. All right? And the reason. It wasn't because we couldn't do it financially, we could have made it work. The problem was, is that we didn't. Like, we did not. We were so terrified of all of the things that could go wrong. We were terrified that they would steal. We were terrified that they wouldn't show up for work. We were terrified that they would, you know, do all kinds of crazy shit that you're scared of right now, right? You're like, oh, well, what about this? What about that? What about this? Listen, man, get in your fucking car and drive down the fucking road and look. Look how many businesses they are. Look. Look at all the business. Thousands of them in your fucking city. Do you really believe that you're the only motherfucker that can't fucking hire someone and get them to work for you? Do you not. You see what I'm saying? It's an irrational fear.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, now, are you going to be great at it in the beginning? Probably not. Are you going to get some good people by accident? Yeah, you will. And here's the thing. You have to understand. Most people want to be part of something. Most people want to win. Most people want to feel fulfilled. Far more people leave their jobs because they don't feel like they're contributing than they do for pay. All right? People want to do things. Your mission is to figure out how if you want to be good at it. Okay? Now you can hire people and they will come in, they will work for you, and then when the next opportunity comes, they leave. And all this like, that's what normal companies do.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

If you want people to come in and you want them to care and you want them to dedicate themselves, and you want them to get better and help you build something special. You have to paint the vision in a way where all of their hopes, all of their goals, all of their dreams are possible under the umbrella of this vision. The big vision can't just be, you know, Steve's construction. It can't be that, like, hey, you guys are going to work for me. I'm going to make most of the money, and, you know, then you can off and go home, drink beer. That can't be what it is, all right? What it needs to be is, hey, we're going to build the best construction company ever. We're going to go. We're going to start here, and then we're going to go to this next place, and we're going to go to this next place. We're going to start building decks. Then we're going to go to concrete. Then we're going to go to houses. Then we're going to go to this. And you have to see this vision out in front that is so big that these first key guys especially, and really all your people can see themselves living their life inside of that. And then you got to do it, okay? Because if they figure out that you're just fucking blowing smoke, they're going to leave and they're going to fucking hate you. All right? So you have to understand, people want to be a part of a team. They want to win. Most people are good. Most people are not bad. We've had thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of employees, and the number of bad ones out of thousands is probably like a hundred. It's. It's a very. It's a very fractional number over the. Now. I'm talking about over the years, okay? Now have everybody stay. No, but my goal has always been if they leave and they go somewhere else, I want them to look back and say, hey, that was a very critical part of my career where I learned the most that I could learn. And then they take those skills and go be some. Some great at something else, okay? And if you have that attitude, if you have a big vision, you care about your people, you help them win. You're. You're helping them grow their dreams, bro. You're not going to have a problem, man. But if you just try to do this thing where you're trading their labor, their labor for money, it's gonna fucking suck. And you're gonna hate having employees. Everybody tell. Like, we, you know, in our taste syndicate, we get a lot of People, and they come in like when they're in the beginning and they're like, fuck, it was so much easier when I have employees. I fucking hate having employees. Well, yeah, they probably hate having you as a boss too, if you think that. You know what I'm saying? Like, real talk, dude, I love are people, like, they're my friends. I don't know, maybe they, maybe, maybe, maybe they're smoking, blowing smoke to me. But I feel like they're my friends, you know? And it gives me, it gives me, you know, fulfillment and I enjoy it and I love being around the team and, and I think that's, I mean, dude, you're going to spend so much of your time doing this business. Why would you not want to be surrounded by a great culture of great people that you enjoy being around where you're helping them win and you're grateful for them and they're grateful for you. See, that's, that's, that's good leadership, bro. That's how you build things. You know, we talk about ethical entrepreneurship and unethical entrepreneurship, like, like these people who are like these far left communist people, like the way they think of entrepreneurship, they're actually correct, okay? And what I mean by that is this. When they look at a company, let's say, you know, a big giant, Globo Corp, Amazon or whatever, just for example, and they see, you know, 14,000 people get replaced by robots in the, in the warehouse. And you know, they're, they're cutting people off. I'm not saying I don't know if Amazon does this, but they're cutting people off before their benefits kick in or whatever. And they say, fuck capitalism. Well, yeah, they're correct, okay? But ethical capitalism and ethical entrepreneurship works really good, okay? Because those companies, those are the companies, like what we do, where we're sponsoring local teams, we're building buildings in the community, we're doing what we can for the city, we're being a part of the culture. We're trying to make things better. And the big companies that don't do that, though, you know, while I do not agree with these fucking people, I don't want to make it sound like that. They only understand that part of the, of the entre, of the capitalism and entrepreneurship, and then they get fooled by the people that fucking lead them into thinking that's people like us. It's the mid level people. No, we're talking about the richest motherfuckers on the planet. We're Talking about the 5 or 10, you know, kings of the world right now that own everything because they own all the money. You want to be mad at people? Be mad at those fucking 10 people.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Don't be mad at your local guy who's trying to make it and create jobs and do the right thing and sponsor your team. Teams and your communities. Those are the people that create the fabric and the support of the actual community. So when you run the company that way and you do it for real, you don't just talk about it. You have zero problems finding great people. So like, dude, back to the original thing. You have an irrational fear because you lack the confidence, because you haven't done it yet. But I want you to get in your car right now, drive down the road and look at all the fucking companies and then remember what one man can do, another can do. Okay? You're not the only person in the history of business that's going to have a hard time getting employed like you. Come on, dude. Yeah, it's not real. It's not a real concern.

[DJ]

They're going to fuck up the force.

[Andy Frisella]

It's. It's not a real. Yeah, they're going to do that. Yeah. They're.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

By the way, all the things you're afraid of, they're going to happen anyway.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. But. But every time it does, you get better and you learn how to avoid that next time, which is investment in your skill set, which allows you to move to a bigger and better place over the course of time. Yeah. So look, guys, you know, I understand it. It cost me four years, okay. That fear. That's why I said it was the biggest lesson I ever learned because it cost me the most time. It cost me four years of my life. That means I could be where I'm at now four years younger. What's that worth? So that fear cost me that. And that's how you have to think about it.

[DJ]

Follow up on this, because you actually have an example. And I know first one for sure, you know the mail room to CEO story. Right. And one of your longest employees now, who started, I think when you opened up that the next set of stories, he's now like the president of the company. Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And then like, so how is that buy in belief? I guess day one with him, you know, I'm saying like, how, how hard was it to kind of.

[Andy Frisella]

It wasn't hard because we set the big vision and we worked our ass off to make it happen.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And we did it together. So, like, that's the other thing. You got to participate.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

If you're leaving it, you know, if you're leaving on Thursday and coming back on Tuesday and going to fish, they're going to fucking hate you. You're not going to have any. You're going to. You can't do it that way. It won't work.

[DJ]

It won't work.

[Andy Frisella]

You got to participate.

[DJ]

What would you say the percentage of business businesses out there that are visionless versus the ones that are, that have a solid vision in place?

[Andy Frisella]

It depends on where they are in the life cycle. Yeah, okay. In the beginning, when it's founder run, founder led, and those people built the company, those people have big vision and they actually really care. And what happens is two things. One, those companies either get bought out or acquired and their new leadership comes in, it starts to become a machine that they try to milk everything out of and then eventually destroy it, probably. Or the founder passes it down to their kids. Okay? And when you're in a second generation or third generation business, those people don't have the understanding of what it took to build it the same way. And it gets further and further removed for to where you go, okay, so, you know, if they pass it down to their kids and their kids were able to like, see them work and they, maybe they were there and they were around it when they were a kid, they will care, but they won't care like the founder cares because they fucking haven't gone through it. Okay? But then when it gets to third generation, those are clueless, okay?

[DJ]

And like, yeah, there's real examples.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, bro, come on, dude. Like, I see dudes online that are third generation entrepreneurs and they're talking about how big their company is and they're pretending, trying to act like they built it. And it's like, dude, I can smell your inexperience and your dumbass entrepreneurship fake through the fucking cell phone. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're not fooling anybody that knows better. So, you know, you got to be careful, man. Like, when these people tell it, when you see their airplane, you see their house and you see their, their lifestyle and you know, and then they're telling you some story about how they did it, man, look that shit up. Because a lot of times what you're gonna find is they didn't do shit. They just got it handed to them. And those are the people that end up ruining and degrading and becoming visionless as you described. So always in the beginning, they have vision. They have to, to become what it is they want. But the way that you lose it is through acquisition. Now, sometimes you get acquired and it gets way better because they pick the right partner to partner with or acquire the company. Sometimes they pick one and that company's total. That's their total intention, is to milk it dry. All right, but. Oh, I, I have. I'm not saying always, but I would say 99% of second and third generation businesses, they don't have, they don't have vision the way that you need to have it to actually build things. Now, sometimes you do. Okay, like, there's, there's, there are examples of this, but they're just very few and far between.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, if you are. And by the way, if you're listening right now and you happen to. Because, like, dude, those people can't help you. Can't help that you were born into a successful family.

[DJ]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, for sure. But the great ones, those people, and this is what I encourage you to do, is if you're someone who, who, who inherits something or handed the reins to something, you have to understand that you are getting that, not to destroy it or take it for granted. You are getting that to. As a steward of something that really wasn't yours but is now yours. And so the way you make your mark and one of the biggest things that second and third generation entrepreneurs struggle with is like, they feel like nobody respects them. Well, nobody respects you because you're just sitting on your ass milking the shit out. All right? But if you take the company from one place and it fucking skyrockets into the next, you know, stratosphere under your leadership, you're a fucking hell of an entrepreneur, and there are people like that, but it's just. It's just. It gets rarer the further you go.

[DJ]

Yeah, I mean, there's definitely examples of that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, for sure, dude. I know. Look, I'm friends with some guys. I have a number of friends who were, you know, they were born into business, they took over the business, and then they see it as a very serious obligation to honor their family that took it from there to where they took it over. Honestly, dude, like, that is. I think that's the coolest shit in the world, you know, and then they do their thing and they get the respect and they get the fulfillment. They know what they've done. And, and, you know, a lot of those guys, you know, I. I have a number of friends. You know, I probably got 10 or so 12 business owners that I'm friends with that are in different places in that situation. And when you talk to them in private, one of the things they really struggle with is, like, they always feel like, you know, well, I. I, you know, insecure, almost, like, because I didn't do it. And they think everybody's judging them. But you guys, you got to understand, like, when you take something like, if it goes from zero to 10 million and then you take it from 10 to a billion, you fucking great, okay? Like, you should feel great. Even if you took it from ten to a hundred or ten to fifty, you did your part. You took something, and you were a great steward of it, and you should feel good about that. And those of you that have never, you know, like, there's a lot of people say, oh, these guys were born in this situation that, you know, they were born on third base and they hit a. And they think they hit a triple. Not the great ones. The great ones have something to prove. The great ones want to earn it, and that's why those guys win. And sometimes those guys are actually the best operators because they paid such close attention to the. To the. The person in their family that came before them that they have a lot of skills that they really shouldn't possess at their age. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

[DJ]

Hell, that's a big chip.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. So you have to, you know, there's nuance to everything.

[DJ]

For sure. Yeah, for sure. Love it, man. Well, guys. Andy, that was three.

[Andy Frisella]

Yep.

[DJ]

Hell of a way to start a week.

[Andy Frisella]

Yep. We will see you guys on cti. Don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Wh.

[Unknown Rapper]

From sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up. Bow up, stove. Counted millions in a cold, bad, booted SWO Got her own bank roll can't fold. That's a no head shot case. Close, close.