1039. Q&AF: Giving Advice Vs Letting Go, Leading Without Micro-Managing & Feeling Behind Despite Success

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Episode: 1039. Q&AF: Giving Advice Vs Letting Go, Leading Without Micro-Managing & Feeling Behind Despite Success
Air Date: June 22, 2026
Main Theme: Andy tackles three insightful listener questions about (1) when to give advice vs. letting people learn on their own, (2) navigating leadership without micromanaging, and (3) coping with the sense of being "behind" despite objective success. The episode is marked by Andy's candid, unfiltered takes and practical wisdom, offering guidance for ambitious listeners in personal growth and business.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Giving Advice vs. Letting People Learn on Their Own

[02:12–09:56]

• Qualification to Give Advice:
  Andy highlights the importance of having personal achievements before offering others advice.

  "For people to want to listen to you, you have to represent something that is worthy of them achieving." — Andy (02:26)

• Not Everyone Wants to Win:
  Most people aren't looking to change, regardless of how successful or well-intentioned you are.

  "There's like 2% of the population that actually are achievers and winners... Everybody else doesn't give a shit." — Andy (03:14)

• Lead by Example:
  Instead of trying to convince everyone, focus on your own growth. Those ready for change will reach out.

  "The best thing you can do is worry about yourself, go out and win big. Let the people who are gonna also have the propensity to want to win big, observe that winning." — Andy (04:12)

• Advice: Stay in Your Lane:
  Stick to what you know; don't try to be an expert in every area.

  "Just because you're winning doesn't mean that you know everything about everything else." — Andy (06:52)

• Friendship & Diversity:
  Andy discusses the diversity in his friend group—income, background, industry—but the shared traits are hunger, positivity, and good character.

  "They're all positive people. They all want to win. They're all good people...The character qualities are the same regardless of where the financial level is." — Andy (08:12)

• Memorable Quote:

  "If you get offended, I automatically think you're a total pussy because you allow words to affect your emotional state. I can't be friends with pussies." — Andy (09:57)

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2. Leading Without Micromanaging

[10:32–26:48]

• When is Micromanaging Appropriate?
  Early stages or with inexperienced employees, micromanagement is necessary—it's coaching. But keeping it up forever stifles growth and satisfaction.

  "In the beginning, when someone doesn’t know what they’re doing, you’re gonna...what people would call micromanage—which is really just coaching them on how to do the job." — Andy (11:07)

• Micromanagement as an Ego Problem:
  Often stems from overestimating one's own skills and lack of trust in others.

  "Micromanaging generally comes from the manager overestimating their own abilities. It's an ego problem." — Andy (11:23)

• Developing Employees:
  The best leaders invest in others, allowing mistakes as part of development.

  "If you're always up their ass like you are on day one on day 100, how are they developing at all?" — Andy (12:52)

• Retention & Satisfaction:
  If people can't contribute or show their capabilities, they leave; micromanagement drives turnover.

• Let Employees Make Mistakes:
  Guide, correct, and protect from catastrophic errors, but let employees learn through experience.

  "Allow them a little bit of runway...look at that as an investment in their development as one of your key players." — Andy (16:48)

• Managing Customer Mistakes:
  Use service failures as unique opportunities to exceed expectations and create loyal customers.

  "When you could say, 'Hey, dude, I get it, we fucked up,' and then you fix it and do a little extra, now you’ve disrupted that person’s expectation in a positive way to where they’ll never forget that ever again." — Andy (18:43)

• On Building vs. Finding Great Employees:
  Good employees aren't "found"—they’re built with time and investment in development.

  "You don't find them. You gotta build them. And part of that building is that you have to allow them to make mistakes." — Andy (12:26)

• Different Hats as a Leader:
  Leadership goes beyond just managing tasks—sometimes you’re a coach, friend, or therapist.

  "It's like you're part time coach, part time general, part time therapist...and that's what it takes." — Andy (25:20)

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3. Feeling "Behind" Despite Success

[27:10–41:42]

• Lack of Perspective:
  Young, successful listeners (the example was 25, earning $176k, living at home) may feel "behind" simply due to lack of life experience and perspective.

  "You don't understand how well you're doing...I would say, honestly, as long as it's legal, you're fucking doing exactly what you're supposed to do." — Andy (27:26)

• On Comparison Culture:
  The internet distorts reality: false narratives of everyone's success leads to unhealthy comparison.

  "You’re comparing yourself against something that doesn’t even exist." — Andy (35:15)

• Ambition’s Double-Edged Sword:
  The feeling of "being behind" isn’t bad if it fuels motivation, but it should be balanced with gratitude.

  "When you’re ambitious and you’re hungry and you’re driven, you almost always feel behind. Okay, I feel behind. I feel like I should be much further down the road than where I’m at." — Andy (29:45)

• Recipe for Happiness:
  True happiness comes from three things: gratitude, discipline, and purpose.

  "If you’re missing any one of those three ingredients, you’re not going to be happy. You have to have all three components to feel happy." — Andy (30:31)

• Cultural Differences and Moving Out:
  Living at home as an adult is stigmatized in the U.S., but it’s normal and even advantageous in most cultures if you’re stacking cash and growing.

  "America is the only place where their kids turn 18 years old and they're supposed to go out and start over on their own. That's...not how it works in almost every other place." — Andy (37:41)

• On Parental Support:
  A 25-year-old staying at home and hustling is admirable and strategic, not shameful—unless it's an excuse for stagnation.

  "If you have a kid who's 25 and he's pulling 200 GS a year and he's working his balls off and he's getting better...I would have more leeway with allowing him to stick around and get his shit stacked up." — Andy (40:41)

• Memorable Quote:

  "Nothing kills entrepreneurs or businesses more than complacency. So what's the opposite? It's drive, it's hunger, it's ambition, it's feeling behind, it's being competitive...You just got to make sure you're comparing to the right things." — Andy (36:54)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Qualification for Advice

"The advice has to be qualified. And...we've come to this time in the world where everybody thinks their advice is valuable and it's not." — Andy, [02:40]

On Investment in People

"If you're always up their ass like you are on day one on day 100, how are they developing at all?" — Andy, [12:52]

On Gratitude & Success

"If you’re missing any one of those three ingredients in your life, you’re not going to be happy. So you could have a big purpose and high discipline and be out earning everybody...but if you can’t remember where you came from, you’re going to feel shitty." — Andy, [30:31]

On Micromanagement and Ego

"Micromanaging generally comes from the manager overestimating their own abilities. It's an ego problem." — Andy, [11:23]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Advice vs. Letting Go: 02:12 – 09:56
• Micromanagement and Leadership: 10:32 – 26:48
• Comparison and Feeling Behind: 27:10 – 41:42

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Tone & Style

The episode features Andy Frisella’s trademark directness, humor, and no-bullshit approach. Both he and Priscilla balance hard-earned insights with unfiltered truth, motivational tough love, and sprinkled with personal anecdotes. The language is candid, sometimes coarse, and always rooted in encouraging listeners to level up, take responsibility, and adopt a growth mindset.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers tangible, real-world answers to burning questions around giving advice, effective leadership, and managing your sense of progress. Andy’s core message: focus on your own path and growth, develop others with patience and trust, and remember that true happiness and success rise from gratitude, purpose, and discipline—even (or especially) when you feel “behind.”

Transcript

[Guest Rapper]

Yeah, Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold, bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case Close, close, close.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy. Priscilla. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A, F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a couple different ways. DJs going to tell you how.

[Priscilla]

Yes, my brothers and sisters, you guys can submit your questions by email to askandyndiefricella.com or you can click the link in the description below and submit them there, or just drop them in the comment section of the Q and a videos on YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Thank you, brother.

[Priscilla]

You're welcome.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes, sir.

[Priscilla]

Yes, sir.

[Andy Frisella]

Let's just get right into it. You guys know the deal. We're gonna go through three questions here, and we need you to share the show out, okay? So if the show makes you think, it makes you laugh, it gives a new perspective, you learn something, which you will. Do us a favor and don't be a hoe.

[Priscilla]

Share the show. Greetings.

[Andy Frisella]

Greetings. What's up?

[Priscilla]

Patience. What's going on, dog?

[Andy Frisella]

Another man.

[Priscilla]

Yeah, man. All is good, man. Yeah, yeah, we're good. It's a great day to be alive, dude. It's actually a really beautiful day out.

[Andy Frisella]

I know.

[Priscilla]

And we're in here.

[Andy Frisella]

I know.

[Priscilla]

Trying to make people better, man.

[Andy Frisella]

I know, man. We're dedicated.

[Priscilla]

What are you doing?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, what are we doing? 90 of them just listen and don't do either.

[Priscilla]

Ain't even sharing the show.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, man. Yeah. You know what? Show's over. You.

[Priscilla]

Let's just go. No, man. Guys, you know how this works. I got three good ones for you, man. So let's dive into these guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, I'm 33, and one of the hardest things for me lately has been watching people I care about make the same mistakes over and over again. Same financial problems, same relationship issues, same excuses. At some point, I. I stopped giving advice because it felt like they didn't actually want help. How do you know when to keep trying to pull people forward and when to let them figure it out on their own?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I would ask you, like, what are you doing okay? Like, how's your stuff look? How's your life going? Are you in a position to give advice? Have you done anything that's going to make people listen to your advice. You know, we see all these people online giving advice about all these things, but if we really look at their lives, nobody wants it. So you got to realize that for people to want to listen to you, you have to represent something that is worthy of them achieving. Okay?

[Guest Rapper]

The.

[Andy Frisella]

The advice has to be qualified. And I think with social media especially, we've come to this time in the world where everybody thinks that their advice is valuable and it's not. You know, not everybody's advice is equal. Not everybody has equal amount of value to provide. And just because you get a microphone and a few followers on social media doesn' giving good advice. So, you know, the truth of the matter is, is that unless you're achieving something that is worthy of achieving, nobody's going to listen to anything that you say. And this is a big problem. Why so many people have problems getting traction as a content creator on the Internet? Well, because you haven't done anything. Okay? What have you done? What qualifies you to give advice? Okay, so that's the first thing. The second thing is, is there's like 2% of the population that actually are achievers and winners, okay? Everybody else doesn't give a. They live. They live by the list. They go to school, they get married, they have some kids, they never ask themselves what they actually want, and then they go through some sort of midlife crisis, you know, in their 40s, because they're like, I never even thought about what I wanted. So that's most people. So you got to realize that if you're not living something worthy of them to observe and aspire to be, they're not going to open their eyes to what's possible for themselves. And second of all, even if you do, a lot of them don't want it. Okay? So, like, why. Why are you that worried about it?

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean? Like, bro, the best thing you can do is worry about yourself, go out and win big. Let the people who are gonna also have the propensity to want to win big, observe that winning. And then when they reach out and they say, hey, man, this is awesome, I want to do this, that's when you, you know, say, yeah, you can. Here's what you got to do. So stop giving unqualified advice and wasting your energy on people who, quite honestly, aren't going to do with their lives.

[Priscilla]

It's almost like a. A sense of, like, false loyalty to the wrong people for some reason.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I think when people win, you know, you want everybody else to win. Especially when you're like a normal person and you haven't come from much and you come from, you know, regular America. And then you realize that you can win, and you realize that it's not as hard as people say. Yes, it's very hard, but it's not impossible. And then you realize it's worth it. If you're a good person, you're going to want that for other people. You know, the. One of the biggest reasons I do what I do is because I understand how normal I am and how regular I am, and I understand that everybody else out there that's normal and regular also has the capacity to win. But you got to want to win. You got to have those dreams and goals. There's a lot of people that don't, dude. There's a lot of people that don't even think about tomorrow. They don't even think about anything past Friday night. You're not going to magically say something to those people that's going to make them want to do it. Even if you want it for them. You know, the best thing you can do is win. And then they can see that. And then they could say, oh, and maybe a light bulb will go off, but maybe it won't. But if it doesn't, they don't. I mean, you're just wasting your breath.

[Priscilla]

Yeah. Dude, the advice piece is huge, too, man. I feel like we. We've talked about this before. It's like, you know, being very careful, obviously, who you're taking advice from, but it's like, just because, you know, somebody can give you good advice in one area of your life doesn't mean that they can give you good advice and all the other areas.

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, how many. How many of these people have we seen online, you know, give business advice? And all of a sudden now they're. They're giving marriage advice, and then their marriage falls apart and they look like idiots. Right, right.

[Priscilla]

Like, not believe in Jesus.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right. Like, that's. That's what it always comes back to when people are out of options and they've burned their credibility so hard. Then they become like, you know, holy rollers.

[Priscilla]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, and I'm not a dogging on anybody that's, you know, found Jesus and lives that life. But it is awfully convenient for a lot of these people.

[Priscilla]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, they've done all kinds of bad. Now all of a sudden, it's Jesus time. And, you know, that's how it's supposed to be. But not when you're. It's your brand.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, but. Yeah, man. I mean, look, dude, you're. Yeah. You're not an expert on everything. Just because you're winning doesn't mean that you know everything about everything else.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, so, like, I try to stick to my lane in terms of navigating personal development and business and how to win and make money and success, because I understand that pretty well. I don't give my friends advice on other areas of, you know, like, I'm not giving my brother parenting advice when I've never had kids.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean?

[Priscilla]

Yeah. That's real. Let me ask you this thing. I mean, this is an interesting topic. How diversified is your friend group at this point?

[Andy Frisella]

I don't know. You're black. You're fucking Indian over there. You're. You're a Bosnian. I say it's pretty diverse.

[Priscilla]

I mean, I mean, because your circle is small, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

But, like, yeah, bro, my friends are all different kinds of people. I'm friend. My. I have friends that are worth a billion dollars or more. I have friends that are just getting going in life, man.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

To me. You know, but here's the one thing they all have in common. They all want to be better or whatever it is.

[Priscilla]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

So. So they're all positive people.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

They all want to win. They're all good people. They're fun people. They usually tell pretty good jokes. Except you. All right?

[Priscilla]

Working on it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Work on that. Right. But, you know, the. The character qualities are the same regardless of where the financial level is. You know, so. And dude, you know, that's a good, well rounded friend group because it, you know, there's a lot of value in helping people who might be younger than me who are hungry and they want to win. Like, I. I enjoy that. Just like my friends who are older than me that are more down, they enjoy helping me. And, you know, that's what friends are supposed to do. So I'd say, you know, people. I think people would be surprised.

[Priscilla]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I. I think people probably would be very surprised.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I don't judge my friendship based on their. Their income level and like that. Which is. Which is kind of weird because it seems like a lot of people do.

[Priscilla]

A lot of people do. Yeah, a lot of people do. I would say that's not real friendship, though.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. But I mean, you look at guys like. I mean, dude, like, we'll just talk about Dana for A second. All Dana's friends are like that? Yeah, they're all, they're all different guys from different walks of life who make different amounts of money, but they're all the same character, type of person.

[Priscilla]

Yeah, yeah, that's real. That's right. And that's what I meant. Like the. Just diversity and expertise.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

More. More or less. Like different industries, different things, but the character is still the same for sure.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, they're ambitious, they're hungry, they're well rounded, good people. You know, they're. They don't take themselves overly serious. You know, like, I want to hang out with them. You know what I mean?

[Priscilla]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I don't like hanging around people who get offended at all, like, because I'm going to offend you. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, if you get offended, I automatically think you're a total pussy because you allow words to affect your emotional state. You know, I can't be friends with pussies.

[Priscilla]

No, it doesn't work.

[Andy Frisella]

What?

[Priscilla]

I love it. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Beat them up.

[Priscilla]

That's right.

[Guest Rapper]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

Right? Yep. Guys. Andy, question number two.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

Hey, Andy.

[Andy Frisella]

Hey.

[Priscilla]

I'm 31 and I'm about to be promoted to my first managerial role within my company. I'm very detailed and process oriented, but I don't want to be a micromanager in the new role. How do you navigate not micromanaging your employees? Let me ask you first, is micromanaging a bad thing?

[Andy Frisella]

It depends. It depends on the situation of where the person is. I mean, I mean, dude, look, like, have you taught your girls how to ride a bike yet?

[Priscilla]

I taught them how to steal one for sure. No.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, well, when you're teaching your little girl to ride a bike, do you just throw on the bike and say, run down the street or do you like, grab the seat behind and like, you know, run with them? Right in the beginning when someone doesn't know what they're doing, you know, you're gonna, you're, you're gonna what people would call micromanage, which is really just coaching them on how to do the job. And, you know, we're Microman. So. Yes, to answer your question or no, it's not always a bad thing. Yes, sometimes it's required. However, micromanaging generally comes from the manager overestimating their own abilities. It's an ego problem. Okay. And what I mean by that is a lot of people who are further up the chain, they assume that they are the only person that can move up the chain. So they're like, I'm up the chain, and you're not as good as me, and you're not going to do things as well as I am. And so they refuse to let that person ever show them what they're capable of. And what that creates is a circle, a vicious circle of basically your employees never developing and you always having to try and do everything, which is only caused by your own lack of trust and your overestimation and underestimation of their abilities. So, you know, if a lot of people, they will complain, I'll be like, where do you find good employees? You don't find them. You got to build them. And part of that building is that you have to allow them to make mistakes. You have to allow them to learn. You have to allow them to display what they can actually do to be great. If you're always up their ass and you're. You're there like you are on day one, on day 100, how are they developing at all? What are they learning? They're not really learning anything. And by the way, you're buffering their. Everybody wants to be valuable, okay? And some people have this assumption that, like, everybody's lazy, but that's. That's not the truth. People want to feel like they contribute. They want to feel like they're part of the team. And when you micromanage people past the point of them, you know, being able to ride the bike on their own and you kind of letting them go a little bit, you're. You're suppressing their ability to feel like they contribute. You're also suppressing their ability to actually develop. And that creates job dissatisfaction where they end up leaving. So then you're in this vicious cycle of people coming in, never developing, and then leaving because they're frustrated. And you think it's because it's the employees, when really it's your poor leadership style.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So, you know, micromanaging, dude. Like, the fact that you're aware of this is a good question, because a lot of people never become aware. And I think it's a great question, because a lot of leaders struggle with it. You know, they think, I know. You don't. I'm here. You're not. You're not really able to be here when that person below you might become even better than you at what you do. And by the way, a lot of people are afraid of that. But as a leader and as a manager, the. One of the most valuable things that you can do is develop personnel and replicate your own skill set to your level, or even better, like, if I have a person who I know I could put other people with, and they will come out the other end of that tunnel in a year and be amazing, what's that worth to my company? Yeah, that's worth a lot. Okay. That's worth a lot. So you can't be afraid of letting these people develop because, you know, I'm afraid they're going to take my job. That's like loser thinking your job should be. I'm gonna make this person the best that they possibly can be. And hopefully they will not only do as good as me, but hopefully even better. And then, by the way, let's say that person does surpass you, and eventually, because this happens, eventually ends up being ahead of you, how thankful are they going to be for you helping them think of that relationship? Okay, so it's kind of like, you know, I said I wouldn't give parenting advice, but I'm gonna give some. All right. It's kind of like when, you know, if you're a good parent, I think, you know, your job is to. Is to make your sons and daughters more successful and have a better life than you had. Yeah, Right. And that's the same thing as being a leader. And you can't do that if you're hovering over them and micromanaging the whole time. So, you know, the answer is, you know, yes, it's appropriate sometimes. It's also appropriate when they. When they're off track. Like, let's say you got somebody and you've let them ride the bike, and they did pretty good, and then all of a sudden, they start up. Well, well, dude, they might not have enough awareness to understand where they're messing up. So you got to go back and kind of examine and then show them, okay, here's why you're off. And then, you know, let them go again. Right. And. And a lot of people are also afraid to let people make mistakes because it's going to cost the company money. You have to transition the way that you think about this. If you fire someone every time they cost you money every time they make a mistake, you're gonna go and you're gonna hire a new person, and that person's gonna come in, and you know what they're gonna do? They're gonna make that same mistake, and it's gonna cost you twice. Then you're gonna fire that person again. Then you're gonna hire a new person. That person's gonna come in, and guess what? They're gonna do, they're going to make that same mistake now. You're going to have it three times. So the best way is to allow them a little bit of fucking Runway and their ability to make mistakes. Protect them from being able to make, you know, company sinking mistakes. And look at that as an investment in their development as one of your key players.

[Priscilla]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. You made a mistake, you know, it cost the company $10,000 or $1,000 or $100,000, depending on the size. Hey, man, did you fuck that up? Yeah, man, I'm so sorry. What, what did you do wrong? Well, I did this and this and this. What'd you learn? Not to do that.

[Priscilla]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. And that's, that's the way that you insulate yourself from having someone and having the company make the same mistake over and over again. So just like we talk about, like with success, right, as an individual, there's really, you know, two real things that you gotta have. You gotta have the ability to persevere when things are hard and you gotta have the ability to learn from your mistakes. Well, that's also true for a collective company. Okay? Your company won't develop past where it is right now if you don't allow the people that make up the collective of the company to make their mistakes, learn from their mistakes and then keep moving down the path with them. Okay? So think of, you know, yourself, right? I'm adding my skill set every time I make a mistake and I discover the solution and then I got a new skill. As a collective, it works the same way. You see what I'm saying, bro?

[Priscilla]

You know, it's funny, like being, being, being around here, for example, just even at 1p. One thing that I've noticed too, it's like even when a mistake is made, not only do they accept the responsibility of it, they take. But. But how like fired up they are to fucking fix it.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh yeah.

[Priscilla]

You know what I'm saying? I think that's a big piece too, that a lot of people don't like, they're, they're like not only allowing them to make the mistake, but there's almost like a chip on their shoulder now.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

To. To fix it and make it more than right.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, especially when it comes to disgruntled customers. I mean, it actually presents one of the best opportunities in business because when a person is upset with your company for whatever reason, maybe it'd be bad service, maybe they didn't get their shipment on time. Maybe, you know, you shipped them the wrong shit. You know, who, who knows what it is, and they're super pissed off. That gives you an opportunity to not just correct that problem, but go extra for that person in an unexpected way and create tremendous amounts of value to where that person now instead of thinking, thinking that, you know, oh, these guys don't care. And they're just like every other company now. They're like, holy, man, these guys are special. And you get to leverage all the other companies not giving a. About their employees, or, I mean, I'm sorry, you get to leverage all of the other companies not giving a fuck about their customers. And this is why customers, like, if you guys, you know, that have real companies and you deal with customers, like, a lot of times, you know, you'll make a small mistake and they will come in so hot because that's what they're used to, to having to get the problem resolved. But when you could say, hey, dude, I get it, we fucked up, you know, and then you fix it and do a little extra. Now you've, you've disrupted that person's expectation in a positive way to where they'll never forget that ever again. So the fact that other companies suck is actually a great thing for you. So, like, a lot of people will ask me, especially in rj, we get this question, you know, you know, what do we do when customers are just like abnormally pissed off? Well, you got to understand where that comes from. How many of you guys have dealt with a company you can't even get a response from? Yeah, they don't give a. And then when you bring it to them, they're like, well, tough. That's our policy, right? Like, dude, we've all dealt with that. We've dealt with that for years. And then when you find a company that actually is like, dude, you're right, we up. I'm going to fix this for you today. And not only may I fix it for you today, and then you do some extra shit for make, you know, make them know that you value their business. And by the way, notice I didn't say make them think you value their business. You make them know you value their business. That's a big difference. Now you've created a lifetime customer. So the fact that other customers like our, our other companies treat their customers like is a, Is a huge leverage point. If you do shit the right way.

[Priscilla]

Have you seen that, that, that kind of evolved a little bit? Because I'm think as you're talking about that just the, you know how a lot of other companies, they just Strict. They just suck at that piece. But combining that with the instant gratification of the, the, the customer themselves, how we expect everything so quick. Like has that evolved ridiculously over the last, you know, 27 years you've been in, have you seen that change?

[Andy Frisella]

I would say, like, is there less

[Priscilla]

grace now than there was?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh yeah, I, I actually think there's two parts to that. I would say yes, there's less grace because there's, look man, I'm just gonna toot my own horn here, okay? We were one of the, probably the first company to revolutionize how those things are done the right way. Okay. Up until that point, barely any companies gave a. And if they did, they wrote whole books about them. Okay? Now I would say that the companies have increased their care because they understand how valuable and how competitive it is. And I would also say that what you said was right. I would say that customers expectations have gotten better too because there are many more companies out there doing it the right way than there were even five to ten years ago.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So, but I think that's a good thing, dude, because ultimately what that does is that creates good ethical business. Okay? So the businesses who do things the right way win. This is capitalism, dude. The business, the, the, the market rewards the companies that do the right thing. The market does not reward the companies that don't. And social media accelerates that. So I, I, I see that as a really great thing. And I've noticed myself like, you know, a lot of the companies that I've dealt with lately, like for example, I've had to, because I got back into riding after taking, you know, basically like 10 years off of riding. I've had to like buy a bunch of new shit, bro. Almost all the comp, all the companies I've dealt with have been amazing. You know what I'm saying? I've, I've ordered from west coast choppers outside of Jesse's friendship.

[Priscilla]

Right, right.

[Andy Frisella]

Perfect Service. I've ordered things from nbt. Perfect Service. I've ordered things from, you know, Ariat, Perfect Service. Dixon, Perfect Service. You know, like that, that wasn't the case 10 years ago across the board. And I think it's becoming more accepted that people understand they have to do things that way.

[Priscilla]

Yeah, absolutely. Dude. Last little piece on this, I want to ask you because going back to this question about the micromanaging piece of it, you know, there's that age old quote, it's like, you know, if you want it done right, just do it yourself. Right? And to your point, Though that, that is the ego problem. Where did this idea come from though?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, that's just, I mean, look, dude, if you're unwilling to invest, I think that's the fundamental underlying problem here is the perception of finding good people versus building good people. Okay. Most people still think that there's like this pool of amazing talent out there that you can just pick from. And you know, the companies that have tremendous employees, they, they're just good at picking. That's not what it is, man. It's that those companies are hiring people that fit their culture and then they're training them on the skill set. Okay? So you have to like remove some of these old ways of thinking that, you know, oh, I'm going to go, where do I find good people? You, you can't do that. Okay? So the fundamental reality of what we're talking about is that you have to be willing to invest in other people. You have to be willing to coach them, you have to be willing to do things that would be outside of what people would think an employment situation would be. You know, like maybe the dudes haven't going through a divorce. Okay. You gotta be there for, man, you gotta have a little talk with them and you know, be their friend. Like it's, it's like you're part time coach, part time general, you know, part time therapist, you know, and, and that's what it takes, man. And huh.

[Priscilla]

It's a lot of hats.

[Andy Frisella]

It is. But companies that aren't willing to do that and they just expect to pay for, for talent. You can't pay enough for that kind of talent. Not as a small business, you can't, you know, so when you get into C level stuff like where guys have, you know, like for example, you know, as our company's grown, we've had to hire some C level guys in from the outside that have experience in certain areas that we don't have. Those guys are proven. They've gone here and they've won. They've gone there and they've won. They've gone here and they won. They come with a skill set and the challenge with those guys is to get them culturally aligned. Yeah, because some of those guys come from different places that do things different and sometimes they think because their skill set is so good, the other doesn't matter. And so then you have the opposite problem.

[Priscilla]

Yeah, they're walking in like, where's the cake for?

[Andy Frisella]

Exactly. Yeah, but, but like, dude. So like there's, there's pros and cons and different situations. And different timings. But ultimately you have to get away from this thought that you're the only one that knows. You're the only one that can be good. You're the only one that can do this. And these young little kids don't know. Like bro, some of these young kids run circles around you based upon their hunger and their willingness to learn if you just allow them the rope to run and go learn. So, you know. Yeah, I mean that's pretty much it.

[Priscilla]

Dude. I love it. Dude, I love it. Guys, Andy, our third and final question. Man. Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I've listened to you since the start of 2020. You've changed my life. I'm a single 25 year old guy earning $176,000 per year.

[Andy Frisella]

How old?

[Priscilla]

25.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay.

[Priscilla]

Making 176k a year, living with my parents. Why do I feel behind? No wife, no kids, what my friends do and have those things. Why do I feel behind?

[Andy Frisella]

Because you're an idiot. You don't have the perspective of knowing, okay, you don't understand how far. Dude, When I was 27 years old, I was making $695 a month and I had to move back in with my dad. Okay, you don't understand how well you're doing because, and by the way, I would say that's great that you're living at home and maximizing your savings and getting your together. I, I would say, I would say honestly, like I don't know what you do as long as it's legal. I would say that you are fucking doing exactly what you're supposed to do. You go out and earn, you minimize expenses and that's going to put you so far ahead whenever you are, you know, in your 30s. And the fact that you're single I think is smart too because you're not going to attract the level of mate that you could once you have all your in, in line. And I think a lot of people do all the wrong things. They go out and they get attached to some girl that they met in a bar and they're attached to her because she was willing to them and you know, then they go out and try to build a business and they get a nice car and they get out of there, they get a house and they get attached to all this debt and then they can't do the things that are required to win. You're already doing extremely well. And the truth of the matter is, like I've said many, many times it, that what you have is a Gift, okay? Most people don't think like, oh, man, I'm. I'm behind. Most people think, like, oh, man, everything's good. It's all good. I'll take care of it later. It's no big deal. You know, like when I was fat, you know, and I would go drink five, six beers, I'd go in the bathroom of the restaurant, take a piss, and I'd look in the mirror, and I'd stand sideways, and I'd suck my gut in. I'd be like, man, you know, I'm looking all right. And I'd tell myself this lie, right? About everything was fine. It was all good. You know, I'd do me, you know, saying like, like, like, I. I'd make up this story about how everything was good. And that's how most people do about their lives. So when you're ambitious and you're hungry and you're driven, you almost always feel behind. Okay, I feel behind. I feel like I should be much further down the road than where I'm at. And then when I look at the math and I look at the numbers and I look where I'm at, that's just factually untrue.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean? So don't try to lose that feeling. That's a good thing, because that's what's going to keep you moving down the path. But you should also acknowledge once in a while and talk yourself off the ledge and be like, no, I'm doing okay. I just got to keep going. You know what I mean? Because that can mentally wear you out, bro. Like when you. When you constantly feel behind, especially when you're winning, this is where a lot of overly ambitious people, you know, find themselves in a really dark spot because everything's going well, everything's, you know, moving, they're doing well, and they're always like, I'm so behind. I'm so behind. I'm so stressed. And they live in this constant state of high stress and anxiety because they refuse to have gratitude for how far they've come. And this is why, when we talk about, like, what happiness is really derived of, you know, gratitude's a massive part of it, okay? You know, the other parts are discipline and purpose. You know, if you're missing any one of those three ingredients in your life, you're not going to be happy. So you could have a big purpose and high discipline and be out earning everybody, you know, at your age. But if you can't remember where you came from, you're going to feel Shitty. Okay? Again, you could be grateful for where you are, be earning all kinds of money and not have a bigger purpose, and you're going to feel shitty. Okay? You, you can be, you can have a big purpose and you could be grateful for where you are, but if you're not in control of your life and you lack discipline, you're going to feel shitty. So you have to have all three of those components in order to feel happy. And I would say for you, what's happening is you're refusing to ever have a moment or consciously think about where you've come from and what you've put in. And I think it's important, and I think you probably don't do that because you don't want to get complacent. And that's, that's a big problem with high achievers. High achievers, I fall into this. This is a big problem for me. High achievers don't like to take credit or give themselves credit. It's, it, it's the opposite of what people think. Most people think that high achievers all want all the credit and all the true, like, killer high achievers. They try to stay away from that because they are terrified that that's going to, like, dull their edge and that it's going to keep them from winning and it won't. You've just got to make some dedicated time on a daily basis to, to be grateful. And a lot of that comes from, you know, I think prayer, you know, sitting down and saying, man, God, you're really taking care of me, man. And, you know, I really appreciate it, you know, and just being grateful for where you're at, and I think it'll help you deal with what you're dealing with. But, dude, I don't think having that feeling of being behind is something that it makes something. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's not wrong.

[Priscilla]

Yeah. It's not an alarm that you need to go turn on. No. Yeah. What would you also say too, though? I mean, you know, 25, we have a, you know, we have a lot of younger listeners to this show too, but it's like, I mean, you're, you're only 25, though.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but like, dude, when you're only 25, you, you don't realize how fast you go from 25 to 45. Okay. Because you've only gotten to 25, so you feel like you've lived this really long life. You know what I'm saying? It's just perspective, dude.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, you don't understand how early you are. That's like when people are like, oh man, I'm 35 and I feel so old. It's like, bro, I would trade places with you in a second as long as I got to keep what I know. You know what I mean? And by the way, I share with you what I know. And you can be 35 and know what I know. You see what I'm saying? So, like, that's just perspective, dude. When you're, you know, when you're 25, you think you're old. You know when you're, you know how many. Like, dude, I remember on my 22nd birthday, man, I was like, I remember exactly where I was and I was like 22, man. I'm old. Like, you know what I'm saying? Because like, I wasn't 21 anymore.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, and I look 22. What does that mean? Like, you know, I don't get any prize for being 22. And then now I look back, I'm like, how ridiculous was that? And then I felt the same way at 30 and I'm like, how ridiculous was that? You know? And then I felt the same way at 40. I'm like, dude, 40 sounds all right right now, you know what I mean? So it's all perspective, dude. And you, you don't know what, you haven't been down. So I think that's a normal feeling and I think, I think it's a good thing to feel behind because that's what drives you to continue to push down the path. So I wouldn't try to like, get rid of that. I would just try to counterbalance the anxiety and the stress that comes with that, with gratitude for how far you've come. You know, I think another thing that contributes to this obviously is the Internet, right? We have all these 22 year old kids talking about how, you know, throwing these numbers around like it ain't. Oh, I made, I saw this dude the other day, he's like, oh, man, you know, I've had 10 million dollar months. Get the out of here, dude. Like, they're just throwing around these numbers, dude, you know, oh, my company does a hundred million a year. Like it, like it ain't. To do a hundred million dollars a year. Are you serious? Do you know many companies do $100 million a year? Very, very, very, very few. Okay? And these kids are running around throwing these numbers around, completely lying, with no ethics whatsoever. And then you have these other people who are doing $4 million or $2 million, who by the Way, that's a really good start. Who are like, fuck, man, I'm behind. I suck at this. No, dude, you're comparing against yourself against something that doesn't even exist, right? Like if I were to say, like, if there was some, like, if Iron man was a real thing, right? And like Tony Stark was a real dude and like there's really an Iron man and he's making all this, which I guess Elon Musk is kind of like that. But you know, outside Elon Musk, like, you know, like, let's say you had a guy that like figured out how he could fly with no technology, and we'd all be like. And then find out one day he's made the whole thing up and we're all feel like shit because we couldn't fly. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's just an illusion, man. And I think that contributes to that feeling as well. But I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's a good thing to feel behind because that keeps you moving down the path. And nothing kills entrepreneurs or businesses more than complacency. So what's the opposite of complacency? It's drive, it's hunger, it's ambition, it's feeling behind, it's being competitive. And that's why I always tell people, you know, when they say, oh, what comparison is a thief of joy. No, not really. Not if you're trying to win. It's only a thief of joy if you're sitting on your ass. You know what I mean? If you're trying to win, it's what drives you to win and produce all these other good things in your life. So you just got to make sure you're comparing to the right things.

[Priscilla]

Dude, you know what's crazy about this question? So like when I, when I was reading it, I'm like, all right, 25 year old, you're making that much and you're still living with your parents.

[Andy Frisella]

I think that's a good thing.

[Priscilla]

But now looking at it, it's like, that actually probably ain't that bad.

[Andy Frisella]

No, bro, listen, listen, man. You should stack and minimize, Minimize your liabilities and stack your cash flow and income for as long as you can. Who gives a what anybody says about it? Yeah, because that's going to ultimately put you in a much better position. Now if you're living with your parents at 35 and you ain't trying. Okay, now you're a loser.

[Priscilla]

All right, we gotta talk about it. Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

But you know, if you don't have a wife and you don't have kids and your parents are cool with it and you're able to stack, you know, that's in line with almost every culture around the world. Okay? Like, America is the only place where their kids turn 18 years old and they're supposed to go out and start over on their own. That's. That's not how it works. In almost every other place, in almost every other culture, the kids grow up and the family contributes to put the kids out in a favorable, favorable position to do better for the family. And then the. The younger kids grow up and then they take care of the family. And that's, that's how, that's how almost all. And you want to know why, like, the family structure here is broken? Well, because every time their kids turn 18, it gets. It gets broken intentionally. You know, they kick them out. Get on your own. Get out there, Get a fucking job.

[Priscilla]

Cool.

[Andy Frisella]

I can get down with that. But, like, how about, you know, we keep the family together and minimize the financial liability. We all get ahead.

[Priscilla]

Oh, overhead. That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro. That's what happens in most cultures. So, like, we're one of the only places that does that.

[Priscilla]

It's so taboo here.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, but we got why. Yeah, where does that come from? And why is it because it creates more tax revenue, it creates more debt, it creates more worker bees, and they're less successful long term because of that mentality. So I personally don't have a problem with people staying at home as long as they can to stack and get their. Get their mind and their business and their life together. I mean, if I had kids, I'd be like, if I had a kid and he was 25 and he was living with me and he's out making couple hundred grand. I mean, I might make them buy me some dinner once in a while, you know what I'm saying? But like, but like, I'd be like, all right, dude. You know, and then when you meet a girl or you meet a, you know, and you want to move out and do your thing, like, you're going to be in a good position to do that.

[Priscilla]

That's real, bro. That's.

[Andy Frisella]

That's just my personal opinion.

[Priscilla]

That's real. I wasn't thinking of it like that.

[Andy Frisella]

I know, but that's because you've been told your whole life that if you. If you're 18 years old and you live with your parents, you're a loser.

[Priscilla]

Where I was out at 17. Well, it's crazy.

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, there's nothing wrong with that either. I mean, it definitely teaches you how to fucking survive.

[Priscilla]

I had. But it was like, didn't have to be that way. Well, shouldn't be that way.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, would. Look, there's flip flops to it, right? Like, there's also the fucking side of it where it's like, okay, well, then they never learn independence. They never learn how to live. They never learn how to do the things. Well, if you're a parent and you're allowing your kid to stay in, you know, the house and they're out earning money, then wouldn't it make sense to, like, teach them how to manage the money and teach them how to pay bills and, you know, like, maybe that's what it.

[Priscilla]

Because it's either the complete. It's either.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, because it does. Dude. I think. I think. I just think there's nuance to it.

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I think if you have a loser kid who's sucking you dry who's 25 and who isn't doing because it's comfortable at home, you should kick him out.

[Priscilla]

Yeah. And you're probably being a crutch.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? But if you have a kid who's 25 and he's pulling 200 GS a year and he's working his balls off and he's getting better and better and better, I would have more leeway with allowing him to stick around and get his stacked up. You know what I mean?

[Priscilla]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, I don't know. That's just me. Maybe I'm wrong, but like I said, I try not to give advice on things I don't know. But hypothetically, that's how I think about it.

[Priscilla]

No, I love it, dude. I love it. I'm 31, dude. I don't know my dad.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, you want to move in?

[Priscilla]

We can make something happen. We can make something happen.

[Guest Rapper]

Yeah.

[Priscilla]

No, man, I love it, dude. Guys, ain't it.

[Andy Frisella]

That was three. All right, guys. Well, let's get out there. Let's have a good week. Let's win. Don't be a hoe share the show

[Guest Rapper]

yeah Went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze up Bow up stove counted millions in a cold bad booted SWO Got her own bank roll can't fold just a no head shot case close.