1043. Q&AF: When To Quit Your Job, Chasing Bigger Dreams & Being Intentional

Summary

Podcast Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode 1043: Q&AF: When To Quit Your Job, Chasing Bigger Dreams & Being Intentional
Release Date: July 13, 2026
Host: Andy Frisella
Guests/Co-Hosts: DJ, Zhan

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Episode Overview

In this Q&AF (Questions & Answers with Andy Frisella) episode, Andy and his co-hosts, DJ and Zhan, field questions from listeners about pivotal topics: when to quit your job for your side hustle, the burden and opportunity of breaking generational cycles, and the importance (and challenge) of living intentionally. True to the show’s “no B.S.” style, Andy provides unfiltered, practical advice, often drawing on personal experiences and his signature tough love.

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Key Topics and Insights

1. When to Quit Your Job for Your Side Hustle

Timestamps: 01:54 – 17:16

• Listener Question:
  “I've got a solid job ($90K/year) and a side business gaining traction. How do I know when to quit my job? I hear ‘you'll just know’, but I’m not sure that’s true. How do I decide, logically, not emotionally?”

• Andy’s View on Stability:
  Andy challenges the concept of job security:

  “What’s stability? A job where you could get fired because technology changes, or your boss doesn’t like how you look at them? Is that stability?” (02:34 – Andy Frisella)

• On Winners vs. Losers:

  “Most people set goals they never achieve, and they repeat that process… which by definition makes them losers.” (03:00)
  The ideas and caution poured into us by well-meaning (but unsuccessful) friends and family instill doubt.

• Mathematical Formula for Leaving Your Job:

  “The only people you should be listening to if you want to win are other people who have won… But the good news for you—it’s actually a mathematical equation…” (05:19)
  Andy’s formula:

  • When your side thing pays you enough to support your current basic living expenses, it’s time to go all in.
  • Not an emotional leap of faith—pure math.

• The Importance of Obsession:

  “If you are not obsessed with winning, get the fuck out of the game because you’re going to waste your life and you’re going to get your ass beat.” (15:32)
  Sacrifice is inevitable—entrepreneurs miss out on parties, weddings, comfort, and sometimes even relationships.

• Stepping Back to Leap Forward:
  Andy and DJ discuss lifestyle downsizing as an investment in future success.

  “Are you going to be embarrassed living the same lifestyle in another 15 years?” (12:01 – Andy Frisella)
  Upshot: Short-term discomfort is the entry price for long-term freedom.

• Personal Example:
  Andy shares how, at 26, he had to move back in with his dad to keep building his business:

  “They thought I was a fucking loser… but had I not done that, I wouldn’t be here.” (13:50, 14:29 – Andy Frisella)

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2. Breaking Generational Cycles: Guilt and Commitment

Timestamps: 17:16 – 34:25

• Listener Question:
  “How do I stay committed to building a better life than my family’s history, without feeling guilty or disconnected from them?”

• Andy’s Direct Response:

  “Do you want the life they have? Clearly, you don’t.” (17:55)
  You owe it to yourself to pursue the life you want, not to repeat your family’s history out of obligation or guilt.

• What It Takes to Truly Break the Cycle:

  “To break that generational cycle, you have to win at a scale that makes people say, ‘Holy shit, look what the fuck he did.’” (18:36)
  Mediocre leaps don’t change patterns; undeniable success does.

• On Parental Approval and Emotional Maturity:

  “You have to be adult enough to unemotionally evaluate the situation, and not just tie your life to what your parents want for you.” (21:31)
  Many parents, out of insecurity or limited vision, subtly (or openly) discourage non-traditional dreams.

• Co-Host Zhan’s Perspective:
  He highlights the indirect guilt children feel due to loyalty and gratitude, pointing out:

  “You’re loyal to the wrong people… People misunderstand the idea of loyalty. That comes from this unexplained indirect pressure from the parents…” (24:11 – Zhan)

• Taking Full Responsibility for Your Life:
  Andy and Zhan agree:

  “I stopped blaming everybody else for my conditions, and I took responsibility and I said, ‘Okay, I’ve done some mistakes. This is my condition. What can I do?’” (28:24 – Zhan)

• The Real Regret:

  “Is there anything worse than sitting around at 50 or 60 years old and thinking, ‘Fuck, I wasted my whole youth because I was scared’? I personally…can’t think of anything worse than that.” (29:52 – Andy Frisella)
  Zhan backs it up with studies on the most common deathbed regrets.

• The “Pay Now, Play Later” Paradox:

  “You can either pay now and have what you want later, or you can have what you want now and you could pay later. That is just the paradox of life.” (32:40 – Andy Frisella)
  Taking the “hard path” early makes later challenges easier.

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3. Being Intentional: The Challenge of Presence

Timestamps: 35:30 – 51:13

• Listener Question:
  “I struggle with being present—my mind wanders even when I’m physically there. Why is intent important, and how do you get better at it?”

• Andy’s Honest Admission:

  “I’m not the best at that. That’s something I struggle with… My mind’s always in a million different places.” (36:03)
  He acknowledges the near-universal challenge, especially in the modern, always-on world.

• Practical Advice:
  Try physical solutions, e.g., putting your phone in a cabinet during important moments.
  Andy and DJ discuss the mental addiction to work, particularly for business owners who have built from scratch and are hyper-vigilant in protecting what they’ve built.

• Cultural Comparison:
  DJ laments how, unlike in the past, being “off” from work no longer exists.

  “Competitors are going to compete… [Now] you lock the door and go home, but business is still going on.” (38:26 – Andy Frisella)

• Critique of “Perfect Life” Marketers:
  Andy calls out entrepreneurs and influencers who market a “perfect marriage” or “complete balance” as unrealistic and often disingenuous.

  “All these people that act like they got it all figured out—they’re full of shit… especially the ones that act the most perfect.” (41:17 – Andy Frisella)

• On Society’s Shift from Authentic Experience to Performance:
  The trio discusses how social media has changed human connection, making people capture and perform moments for online approval rather than authentic enjoyment.

  • “How many people that record fireworks watch the fireworks? The answer is zero.” (43:16 – Andy Frisella)
  • Zhan highlights research: dopamine now comes from capturing and posting moments, not from living them. (43:29)

• Return of Real-World Experience:
  They predict a comeback for in-person, human connection—“what was cool in the 90s is coming back”—as people tire of digital life’s emptiness.

• Attention vs. Influence:
  Andy breaks down the difference:

  “There’s a difference between attention and influence. Most people want influence, but they mistake it for attention.” (49:44)
  Real impact is seen in being able to fill a room and create actual change, not just rack up online views.

• Power of Intention and Impact:
  Zhan shares how Andy’s content changed his life, transforming fleeting attention into deep, lasting influence. (50:31–51:13)

  “Once you realize your potential, you can never go back.” (51:13 – Zhan)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Job Security and Taking Risks:

  “It's math. When your side thing pays you enough money to support your lifestyle… then it is time for you to leave the thing that has been supporting you and go do the thing. That’s it. It’s fucking that simple.” (06:13 – Andy Frisella)

• On Sacrifice:

  “You’re going to have late nights, you’re going to miss get-togethers, you’re going to miss weddings, you’re going to miss parties, you’re going to lose girlfriends and boyfriends… If you’re trying to build something from scratch, that’s just the reality.” (15:59 – Andy Frisella)

• On Building a New Legacy:

  “If you want to change the generational cycle, you better win at a scale that everyone who ever knew your name is like, ‘Holy shit, did you hear what DJ’s doing?’” (19:08 – Andy Frisella)

• On Parental Approval:

  “You’ll realize that you did this for their approval—and they don’t even recognize that you did it for [their] approval.” (21:37 – Andy Frisella)

• On Regret:

  “Is there anything worse than sitting around at 50 or 60 years old and thinking, ‘Fuck, I wasted my whole youth because I was scared’?” (29:52 – Andy Frisella)

• On The “Perfect Life” Fallacy:

  “The ones that act the most perfect… marketing their marriage, their family—that’s scum shit. You don’t have a perfect marriage. You’re lying. Nobody has it.” (41:18 – Andy Frisella)

• On Social Media and Real Influence:

  “Most people waste their lives trying to be relevant to people on the internet that might not even be real people… There’s a difference between attention and influence.” (50:04 – Andy Frisella)

• On Influence Over Time:

  “My shit has been shared cumulatively for 15 years heavily… when I sell tickets to shit, people show the fuck up.” (49:24 – Andy Frisella)

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Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• On Quitting Your Job:
  Make the leap when your side income can cover your essentials—don’t wait for a “sign,” and don’t let comfort hold you back.
• On Breaking Cycles:
  Don’t feel guilty; the best way you can honor your family is by winning at a scale that changes what’s possible for everyone after you.
• On Being Intentional:
  Presence is harder than ever, but worth practicing. Real influence comes from real-world impact, not digital noise.
• On Regret:
  The greatest risk is a life spent playing it safe, and one spent in pursuit of others’ approval.

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Key Timestamps

• 02:34 — Defining stability and the winner’s mindset
• 05:19 — The math behind leaving your job
• 12:01 — Perception shift: step back or leap forward?
• 13:50 — Andy’s story: moving back in with his dad at 26
• 17:55 — Breaking generational cycles
• 21:31 — Parental approval and emotional maturity
• 28:24 — Zhan on responsibility, not blame
• 29:52 — Regret and deathbed realizations
• 32:40 — Pay now, play later: the paradox of life
• 36:03 — Struggles with being present
• 41:17 — Calling out “perfect life” marketers
• 43:16 — Social media’s impact on real-life experience
• 49:05 — Attention vs. Influence
• 51:13 — Zhan’s testimony of real change

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Tone & Style

Andy Frisella’s trademark no-nonsense, passionate delivery sets the tone:

“Balance is not a real thing for people trying to build a business... On a micro scale, on a day to day scale, it’s not a real thing.”

The episode is a blend of direct practical advice, impassioned motivational speech, and candid personal reflection. Listeners get a raw, unvarnished look at what it takes to build something great, break free from limiting patterns, and resist the distractions of the digital world.

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Closing Reminder from Andy:
“Don’t be a hoe. Share the show.”

Transcript

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah, Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove Counted millions in a cold bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case cloak. Cloth. Cloth.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys, it's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality. Guys, Today we have Q and A app. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Dj, how can they submit their questions?

[DJ]

Yeah, guys, you can email these questions in to ask andyforcella.com you can also click the link in the description, submit them there for a chance to be answered. Just drop them in the comment section of the Q and A videos right here on YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Let's just get right into it, man. Yeah, don't forget to pay the fee, all right? We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't do ads, and we do that because I don't want to deal with people telling me what I can and can't say. So we rely on you to help us grow the show. We are not in a podcast network network. We are independent show. And if you don't share the show, it doesn't grow. All right? So it makes you think. If it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. You learn something, which you always will. Do us a favor and don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

All right? And that goes for the clips, too.

[DJ]

Got to share the clips. Yeah, Yeah, I got to share the

[Andy Frisella]

clips is what grows the show.

[DJ]

I mean, yeah, we've got some good ones coming out, too, potentially.

[Andy Frisella]

Do we?

[DJ]

Yeah. Maybe I'm not the judge of it, but, yeah, you know, I've been told.

[Andy Frisella]

All right.

[DJ]

What's going on, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Nothing, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah, it's a beautiful day.

[Andy Frisella]

Just doing the thing.

[DJ]

Yeah. What's the thing?

[Andy Frisella]

Thing. Oh, yeah, doing the thing.

[DJ]

The thing is getting done. Yeah, that's right, man. Yeah. No, guys, it's great. As always, I got three good ones for you.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, man.

[DJ]

And let's get into it. Yeah. Yeah. Shelby.

[Andy Frisella]

Guys, let's make some people better.

[DJ]

Let's make some people better, man. Guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, I've got a good job making around 90k a year, and on nights and weekends, I've been building a business that's starting to get some traction. Everybody keeps telling me, you'll know when it's time to quit your job. The problem is, I don't think you ever really know there's a part of me that's excited and another part that's terrified of walking away from stability. Looking back, how did you know the difference between making a smart bet on yourself and making an emotional decision?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, what's stability? Stability, a job where you know you could get fired because technology changes or your boss doesn't like the way you look at them. Is that stability? I mean, let's redefine what stability actually means. In my opinion, stability means that you are in control of your own outcomes as much as possible. And I trust myself more than I trust other people, which I think everybody should, but unfortunately they don't because we're surrounded by fucking losers, okay? Our whole lives. And I don't mean that as like a derogatory statement. I mean that as a matter of factual description of what people are. Most people set goals, they never achieve those goals, and they repeat that process their entire lives, which by definition makes them losers and not winners. Winners set goals and achieve goals and set new goals and achieve goals. That's the difference. So when we look at the environment that we're surrounded by growing up, for most of us, we are surrounded by objectively people that lose. Yeah, okay. And those people put ideas in our head, like, because they weren't able to do something, you're not able to do something. And those ideas affect our mindset. They affect our own evaluation and trust in ourselves. Because it's abnormal to do things like go out on your own and build things that most people don't build. I mean, that's an abnormal thing. And anything that you do outside the bubble of normal is going to get criticized by people who couldn't do those things. That is common sense to me. I don't know. That should be common sense to other people, but maybe you've never thought about it before. But the reality is, is most of the people you know in your life, and you can love them, you could think they're great people, they could be great friends, but objectively, they lose far more than they win. Those people have a life experience of losing. Those people put these ideas in your head, which. Which usually creates enough doubt to where people believe that they are going to be destined to live the outcome that these people have lived. So there's that.

[DJ]

But isn't it crazy too? Like the definitions of flip flop, you know, like they. They want you to think that the definition is a flip flop. Like losers are now winners. You're a winner now. If you're losing and winning, well, I mean, that's what I'm saying.

[Andy Frisella]

That's cuz. That's the collective. Yeah, like that's the majority. I mean, look, dude, when we think about winners, there's very few winners versus a lot of people that lose. And that's in business, that's in sports, that's in. I mean, how many people grew up playing baseball like I did and never made to the major leagues? Well, that was my goal and I lost at that goal. That's a fact. Okay, so people collectively have the tendency to believe that what the collective has done is the right thing, when in reality it's not always and rarely the right thing.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

If ever. I don't know where you could point out a situation where the collective is the winning side. So you have to understand that you're accepting a path and going down a path that is not going to be understood or supported by people for a number of reasons. One, they've never seen it. Two, they don't believe they can do it. One, Three, it reminds them of what they didn't do. And like, dude, you're just not going to hear good advice from most people. That's the truth. The only people that you should be listening to if you want to win are other people who have won. That's. You should tune everything else out. But the good news for you is there's actually a mathematical equation that tells you when you should leave your job and go full time on your thing. It's not an emotional decision. It's not a decision of belief in yourself. It's not. It's not a decision of is this the right time or not? I don't know. You know, answer my prayers and tell me. No, it's math. Okay, you can math it out. Let me tell you the formula, it's real simple. When your side thing pays you enough money to support your lifestyle for you to survive and eat and do your things, then it is time for you to leave the thing that is has been supporting you and go do the thing. That's it. It's fucking that simple. And people get in this position of I'm doing this side thing, it's making me some money, but I also have my other job, so I'm making more money than I was before. And usually people have poor financial habits and so they get accustomed to that. For this guy, you know, let's say he's making 90k doing his job and let's say he's making 45k on his side job, well now he's making two incomes. He's making more money than he's ever making, which gives him more comfort.

[DJ]

Yeah, right, right.

[Andy Frisella]

And then to go to full time, which is what's going to amplify that result from 45K to 500K to a couple million maybe in, you know, five, 10 years. They don't want to take that step backwards. Right. So if you're serious about doing the thing, which if security is important to you, you should be. Because now you're in control versus someone else just walking in and saying, hey, you know what, fog off. Okay. Which they can do at any time. If you're serious about that, then you should be willing to downsize your lifestyle, take that step back from having the two incomes and go full steam. Because you can't win at whatever it is you're doing with your night and weekend effort. It's not going to work because there's other people are doing it full time.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

And those other people are, no matter what you think, they're just as good as you. And they're probably better because they're getting more reps because they're going full time. So you can't compete with half ass effort. You just can't.

[DJ]

Yeah. When did you learn this? Because a lot of people, I don't know if they, A lot of people know this but like, you know, in the early years when you were just getting started in entrepreneurship, you were working other side jobs because you had to. Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, the first. Seven. Seven years.

[DJ]

Seven years. Okay. So that was seven years before.

[Andy Frisella]

It was like before I quit all the side.

[DJ]

Okay.

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And you know what I did? What I just told him it was math.

[DJ]

Yeah, it's math. Yeah. It's kind of like, you know, people

[Andy Frisella]

put these, these, these, this like mystical. I'm gonna know when it's the right time. Anybody who's telling you you'll know when it's the right time didn't do it. Because anybody who's done it is going to tell you what I just told you. They're going to say it's math.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. And math runs the world. I don't know if you know this, but like when it, when it comes to success, there's no mystical formula to it. It really is win one day, win the next day, win the third day, win the fourth day, win the fifth day. Oh, you lost the sixth day, win the seventh day. And when you average out more wins than you lose, you're going to win your life. It's that simple. And if you do that long enough, winning doesn't become something that you have to focus on every day. It just becomes who the fuck you are. So it's not even a struggle. It's just the normal thing. It's the expectation. Like, you know, I don't get excited about winning because I don't any of you in here could tell me that we could fucking hit the biggest grand slam in the world. And I'm like, yeah, we should have done that two years ago, because that's my expectation. I expect to fucking win, okay? And that expectation comes from years and years and years and years and years of understanding how winning is actually accomplished. And people like to put these mystical ideas and these. This fucking foo foo bullshit, you know, on it because they want to, you know, abandon the. The responsibility that they have for their own lives. You know, I tried really hard, but it didn't just work out, bro. Anybody who's tried hard long enough, it's not even about trying hard. Anyone who's been effective long enough for. It's an average, okay? If. If out of 30 days, you miss three and you win fucking 27, that means that you are winning at a 90 rate. All right? That's pretty good.

[DJ]

It's pretty good.

[Andy Frisella]

But 97 is better than 90, right? It's a. It's math. It's math. You could gamify it, which, by the way, I've done. This is what we've built with Operator Standard, where you can find the MF CEO Project podcast. You go into Operator Standard and if you follow the directions and you can tell the difference between a critical task and a non critical tasks, it litter and you follow it. It literally makes losing impossible. Like impossible. You cannot lose. And I think people, if they would remove all this mystical and all these what ifs and maybes and this and that, that's all loser shit that you pick up along the way. It is literal math. It is. One plus one equals motherfucking two. That is it.

[DJ]

Yeah, dude. I think another thing too, that, you know, people would have a hard time, I guess, with this, and I think you said it was a step back is the lifestyle piece of it. And not being willing, you know, or seeing that as a step back when it's really you stepping forward, you know, I'm saying by whatever that costs. And I think it's, you know, you know, it comes down to people not willing to take those risk, I guess, you know, they don't want to look embarrassed by getting an apartment from their house or, you know, What I'm saying,

[Andy Frisella]

like, well, are you gonna be embarrassed living the same lifestyle in another 15 years?

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, it's all how you look at it. It's all how you assess the outcomes and the risk. You know, most people say, what am I gonna. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if this happens? What if that happens? Instead of saying, what happens if I don't? Like, that's how winners evaluate risk and outcome. Okay? So, like, it's just a perception change that you have to have. And people who lose see the world one way, and people who win see it a different way. And if you're going to win, you're going to have to learn to see the world that way. You can stay right where you are. And things are going to continue to get worse. They're not going to stay the same because the people around you are going to get better and better and better. So there is no maintaining. You're not going to stay where the fuck you are. That's a. That's absurd.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You try to stand still and maintain. You are by default losing because the market is moving forward at all times. Okay? So it's. You know, I think this comes from a lot of different things, but ultimately, I think it just comes from listening to people who have never done. You know.

[DJ]

Yeah. It's like. I mean, dude, I think about your story, bro. It's like, I mean, you had to. You were 26 when you had to move back with your dad.

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Like, 26 years old. Like, that's prime bachelor time. And, you know, you're having to move back with your dad to keep moving.

[Andy Frisella]

No.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying? But, like, was that a step?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, what happened was I had. I was living on my own in Springfield, right? And then I moved up here to open the stores here.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

And I didn't have enough money to get a place on my own here. You see what I'm saying? So did. What the. I had to do.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So, yeah, 26 years old, I had to fucking move back in with my fucking dad. Okay. Like, in the prime of my fucking 20s.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, like, it's prime time. Forget, like.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, okay.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So, like, what do you think people thought about me? They thought I was a fucking loser. They thought I was failing at life. They thought I was chasing a pipe dream that was never going to work. And by the way, they told me all those things. I heard it from everybody everywhere I went. And the people who tried to be supportive, it was backhanded. Support. It was like, oh man, that's, that's cool. So, like, you really think this is gonna work? You know, it was like that and you know, yeah, it's, it's embarrassing, but I mean, I certainly don't give a Now.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean?

[DJ]

Like, had you not do that, what happened? What would have happened?

[Andy Frisella]

I wouldn't be here. Yeah, I wouldn't be here.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah, that's real me.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I mean, millions of people wouldn't change their lives with 75 hard. You know, millions more people wouldn't change their lives through our brands. We've built. Millions of people wouldn't have built businesses off the podcast content that I've done. I mean, I'd say the impact of me going, even though I was embarrassed is pretty substantial.

[DJ]

100, dude. 100, man. It takes what it takes, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, look, dude, that's the bottom line. Yeah, it takes what it fucking takes. You can analyze it, you can think about it, you can ask people about it, you can try to wiggle out of doing the work, but at the end of the day it's hard to do. And if you're not all in, it's not going to fucking work. That's it. You have to be fucking obsessed because there are other people who are obsessed that you are competing against. I don't know why this is so hard for people to understand. If you are not obsessed with growing your company, you. If you are not obsessed with winning, get the out of the game because you're going to waste your life and you're going to get your ass beat. Okay? That's what it takes. Balance is not a real thing for people trying to build a business that's not real, at least on a micro scale, on a day to day scale, it's not a real thing. You're going to have late nights, you're going to miss get togethers, you're going to miss weddings, you're going to miss parties, you're going to lose girlfriends and boyfriends.

[Unknown Rapper]

They.

[Andy Frisella]

These are things that are going to fucking happen. If you're trying to build something from scratch, that is just the reality. And everybody wants to have both. They want to have the life everybody else has and then they want to have the life that entrepreneurs have at the end. Okay, you don't get both. So you either pay the price up front and you get something later, which is a risk, or you have the balance and all the, that everybody has and you don't get the later. It's that simple, dude. It's that simple. I don't know how to say it any other than that. Any other way than that. It's. That's what it is. And if you're out here trying to justify and mind yourself into thinking that, like, you get both.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You think you're going to be the first human in history that gets both?

[DJ]

Gotta be another way.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. There is no other way. Like, dude, there's just no other way. But the good news is, is that there's no risk in it either. If you just understand that it's a mathematical formula. If you understand that if you win enough days in a row and your average of winning is high enough on a daily basis, you're going to win, then what's the risk? What's the risk? There's no risk. It's just a journey.

[DJ]

I love it, man. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, question number two. Build on this a little bit. Question number two, Andy. I'm the first person in my family who's even talking about owning a business or building wealth, becoming successful. Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying generations of expectations on my back, and other times I feel guilty because the path I'm choosing looks so different from what my family understands. For someone trying to break generational cycles, how do you stay committed to the future you're building without feeling disconnected from where you came from?

[Andy Frisella]

Look, man, do you want the life that they have? Clearly, you don't. Okay, very clearly. Because you have this ambition and this goal and this awareness that you're communicating through this question right now. You don't want their life. You only get one life, okay? You do not owe your family, if they were farmers for 100 years and you have a different vision for your life. You do not owe your family to be a farmer and be miserable. You don't. We only have one life, okay? And if you really want to break generational and you actually mean that, which most people say like that, but they don't.

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Then you will understand that in order to break that generational cycle, you are going to have to win at a scale that makes people look and say, holy shit, look, what the fuck he did. Okay? That means you got to win big. Not just kind of big. That doesn't mean you go from being a farmer to, you know, something similar working at the tractor fucking store, okay?

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Now, if that's your level of winning, I get it, but that's not going to change the fucking generational cycle. You're just Going to be a guy did something different.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You want to change the generational cycle, you better win at a scale that every that ever knew your name is like, holy. Did you hear about what the DJs doing? Did you hear about that? Holy. That's what changes people's generational cycle. So. So if that's really what you want, you got to win so big that it's undeniable. Okay? But getting back to the question, you don't want what they want, there's nothing wrong with that, okay? And if you have decent parents at all or people that care about you, they want you to do better than them, all right? But a lot of people don't have decent parents. A lot of people have shitty parents. And I was blessed to have good parents. But I'm telling you, I, I, I thought everybody's parents wanted them to do better than them. Because that's what my parents wanted for me. Yeah, all right? But not everybody's like that. And if you got parents like that that want you to do what they did because that's the level of winning that they did, and they, they are insecure about you going out doing other things and then they hide it behind this idea of, well, I don't want you to get hurt. You got shitty parents. I don't know what to tell you.

[DJ]

Sorry. Okay?

[Andy Frisella]

And they're not going to believe in you, they're not going to support you, they're not going to clap for you until you've done it and everybody else in the world recognizes what the you've done. And then they're going to be like, man, I was, I was wrong. You killed it. I'm proud of you. Maybe if they're real shitty, they'll hate you for it.

[DJ]

Yeah, or take the credit for it. That's my boy.

[Andy Frisella]

Look, dude.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, dude, I don't know what to tell you, man. People get a different, they get, they draw different straws, man, when it comes to your parents, you don't get to control who they are or what you're born into. And you've got to be adult enough to unemotionally evaluate the situation and not just tie your life to what your parents want for you when it's not something that you want. Because here's what will happen. You'll get 10, 20, 30 years down the road and you'll realize that you did this for their approval. And they don't even recognize that you did it for your approval anyway. They just think that it's something that you just did. And then they'll think, they'll probably say like this, well, you know, it's not like you did anything special with your life. You just did what everybody else does. So, like, dude, you're going to try to bend your whole life to get approval from people that will never approve of you. So at the end of the day, what's it come down to? Comes down to what the you want. And you have to be adult enough to evaluate that and have enough thick skin and emotional maturity to not connect your outcome to other people's approval. And also not hate your parents for not approving. You don't have to hate them because they don't approve. You can look at them and say, well, that's what they think. That's okay. I can still go to Christmas and, and Thanksgiving, and I could be cool, but I'm gonna do my thing. And, you know, that's what an adult does. You know? Does this say how old he is?

[DJ]

No, it doesn't.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, well, if you're over the age 18, you're supposed to think for yourself. So I, you know, I, I personally, I think this is a irrelevant, like, man, I hate, I hate when I get like this because I forget that this is hard for people when they're starting, but from where I sit, it's irrelevant. It just is. Your life's going to be so much better, so much more rewarding. You're going to have so much more leverage on everything around you. You're going to have so much more financial freedom, so much more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life. Like, it's, it's, it's such a small thing to worry about in comparison to what the biggest picture is and what, what you're going to get out of it.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah. It's just hard for people when they're in it, though. Like, that is.

[Andy Frisella]

Course, when you're 18, 19, 20, and your parents are all of a sudden, you know, these people that you love and are supposed to be your biggest supporters, or all of a sudden they have these conflicting opinions about what it is that you should do versus what you feel you should do, you don't trust yourself. You know, you're like, dude, I don't know. My parents know. Right. You know, it's, it's scary, right? I get it. But from where I sit, I'm just telling you, like, if you were, like, sitting in front of me right now, and I would tell you in front of your parents, too, because I Could look right at your parents and be like, yeah, you know, you're actually failing them as a parent right now. You understand that? And they would sit there because I'm me and hold their little head down and be like, oh, that's not what I meant to do. Well, that's what you're doing, asshole. Okay? The whole point of having fucking kids and raising them right is. Is so that they can do better than you. That's the plan, okay. If you're a good parent, the winning. The winning in parenthood. Maybe I'm wrong and I don't have kids, so I could see it totally wrong. But if I did and I was judging myself, if I was a good parent or not, I would look and I would say, did I set this kid up to do better than me? Do they have the right character traits? Are they good to other people? Are they. Do they have integrity? Are they going to surpass what I did in my life? And those are the things that I would rate being a good parent on. You know, some of the things. But, you know, that's a big one, I think. I think a lot of parents don't want their kids to win because it doesn't. They don't want to be exposed for what they were not able to do.

[DJ]

Yep. Their own insecurity.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

I would like to add, like, a little bit to that because I feel like there's also another side of it, is that sometimes the kids have a bigger vision than what the parents have.

[Andy Frisella]

Of course.

[Zhan]

So according to the parents, they feel like they're doing the right thing by asking the kid to do what they have seen been done all the time, for sure. And what happens on the other end of it is the kid feels like, because the parents have provided me all these years, there's a very unexplained indirect pressure on the kid. Like, you take. Like you always say you're loyal to the wrong people, and people misunderstand the idea of loyalty.

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

That comes from this. In unexplained indirect pressure from the parents to the kid that if you don't do what they tell you to do, you're somehow disrespecting all the stuff that you have done for them.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, here's the deal. This is called being an adult, and this is called maturity on both the parent and the child. Parents have to get to a point where they realize that you're not going to tell your kid what the fuck to do. And kids have to get to the point where they Realize that they got to do what they think is right. And that's called breaking out and becoming an adult, you know? But yeah, I agree with you. It comes from insecurity, bro.

[Zhan]

And also like, you've talked about self awareness too.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

How much self awareness that the parent have versus the kid have and how are they interacting with each other and accepting each other?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, dude, let's be real. You grow up thinking your parents are superheroes, okay? And then you get out in the real world, you get to be, I don't know, 17, 18, 16, 17, 18, 19. And you know, that uncle that you thought was the coolest uncle in the world, you kind of realize like, oh, guy's up. Right?

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

And you start seeing the world for what the it is.

[DJ]

That's right. What?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right.

[DJ]

That's right. So.

[Andy Frisella]

So like, you know, I mean, I think that's just a part of life, dude. It doesn't mean you have to like think they're shitty.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You got to realize that maybe they don't know what the they're talking about.

[Zhan]

Absolutely.

[Andy Frisella]

You know. You know how many people told me that I shouldn't do what I do and. And shouldn't do what I did? I mean, bro, most people. Most people? Most people. Not a few people. Most people at some point communicated to me, whether it was directly or indirectly or forward to my face or like backhanded, that what they thought I was doing was fucking stupid.

[Zhan]

Stupid, Totally stupid. And I can't even imagine at your scale, but I have experienced that in my life too, where people have told me all my life, and these are direct relatives that told me if I don't stop drawing, I would never be able to do anything in my life.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

But going back to the parent topic I was thinking the other day is a boy or a girl becomes a man or a woman when they realize that their parents were not old. Always. Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

And then they also at the same time realize that it's not their fault because they're also doing it for the first time.

[Andy Frisella]

I agree. That's the majority thing I was talking about.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Goes exactly mean they're bad. Look how many people, dude, look, how many of these people like blame their parents for their outcome. It's like, oh, my parents were. Bro, you realize that your parents didn't know what the they were doing either. They did the best they could.

[Zhan]

That like, that also goes in line with what you said. Like people have hundred times worse conditions than you and they have done Hundred times better than you, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Those. Those people are what we call pussies. Okay? So I don't. You know, I'm not here to help the pussies, bro.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm here to help the people who have that fucking inner drive, that inner ambition, that inner desire to be great and give them the tools to do that. I'm not here to save everybody from their fucking pussy, D. Okay.

[Zhan]

One of the shifts that happened to me when I started listening to you, and I'm 100% sure every listener will relate to it, is I stopped blaming everybody else for my conditions, and I took responsibility and I said, like, okay, I've done some mistakes. This is my condition. What can I do? Yeah, go from there. Yeah, it could be a small scale, could be a medium scale, whatever it is. But I think that's a commonality between everybody that hears you in the podcast, is they stop blaming somebody else and take responsibility.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, also, dude, like, that's part of the reason 75 hard and live hard exists, bro, because what it does for people is it teaches people that you are in control of most of the things that produce the outcome that you want. Okay, is there chance? Are there circumstances? Is there stuff called luck? Maybe, yeah, okay. But at the end of the day, you don't punt your whole life because you might hit a bad spot or you might get unlucky. You control all the things. You control what you eat, what you drink, how you move, how you train, who you associate with, what information you put in your brain, etc. Etc. Etc. And you continue to control those and invest in those at a high level. And when the bumps come, they come. You're going to keep moving.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

But, like, most people will punt their entire lives because they're afraid of something that might. Might happen, and then that thing that ends up happening as a result of that is a thousand times worse.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You get to live in purgatory your entire life wondering what might have been, had I had the courage to actually go and really, dude, is there anything worse than that? Is there anything worse than sitting around at 50 or 60 years old and. And thinking, fuck, I wasted my whole youth because I was scared. I personally, dude, I can't think of anything worse than that.

[Zhan]

What you're saying is actually proven. There was a ER nurse who used to attend terminally ill patients, and because she has done it for decades, she actually compiled everything and put it in a book. And what you just said is one of the top Five regrets of people who are on their deathbed is that they wish that they could have done more, taken more chances, and did what they actually wanted to do, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Also, though, I mean, there's a flip side. Look, dude, you can't have it all, okay? I. You know, my birthday was last week, and I had people, you know, that I haven't talked to in a while reach out and had some conversations with them and stuff. And I was talking to one of my friends, and, you know, they were like, you know, my kids are. My kids are getting ready to leave the house, you know, and I got divorced, and, you know, I don't want to be alone. And, you know, they were asking me if I was happy with how things were going. And I'm like, well, you know, I got this great business. I've built a lot of things. I've helped a lot of people, but, you know, I was never able to have kids, okay? And it wasn't. It wasn't my choice. It just never happened. And so, like, dude, no matter what, you're gonna have things that you wish you had, okay? But, like, no, that's the perfect life. That's right. That's the name of the game, dude. And, like, you have to be able to be grateful for the life that you do have. Intentionally. Like, meaning. What I mean by that is, like, sitting down and saying, yeah, you know what? I don't have everything that I want. But, man, I got this, and this is really good, and I got this, too, and that's really good. And I got this. And other people don't have that. Right? But it was an interesting conversation because it was like, the two sides of the coin, you know what I mean? This person had spent their life raising their kids, and now it's kind of like, well, what the am I gonna do now? And I've spent my life building this, and I'm kind of like, what the am I gonna do now? You know what I'm saying? So, like, it's.

[DJ]

It.

[Andy Frisella]

It's reality, man. And it's just about, like, what. What kind of. What trades are you willing to make? And, I don't know, you know, for most people that build businesses, they're still able to have kids. So, like, I just wasn't one of them. So, you know, the point is, is

[DJ]

that

[Andy Frisella]

you can either pay now and have what you want later, or you can have what you want now and you could pay later. And that is just the paradox of life. Yeah, it's going to be hard now and easier later, but. Or it's going to be easy now and hard later. That is the fucking way that life works, dude. Yeah, and the cool thing about taking the hard path early is that you get so acclimated to shit, being hard, that when it's hard later, you don't even fucking notice it.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

It's just like, what it is.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, like, the world could fall down on my head and like, for an hour I'm going to be like, that's right. And then I'm like, all right, well, what are we going to do? Let's fix this.

[Zhan]

The simplest analogy is when you start working out what used to be really hard for you is years later is your warm up. Yeah, same thing.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, dude, it's. It's. It's just the way the world works, man. Not. You don't get to have everything, dude. That's right. You know, and people that say they have everything are lying. Yeah, okay. People that say they have everything and pretend like they don't have shit that they. That they want, but they don't have. There's a pitch coming.

[DJ]

Oh, okay.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, I see. I see these dudes on the Internet and they're like, I got this great business and I got this great wife, and I got this great thing, and I got this, this, this. Buy my course, buy my shit, how to do it. Yeah, it's all fucking theatrics, bro.

[Zhan]

You know, people are getting disenfranchised with that, too. Like, all the influencers that pretend to be pretty all the time. Everything's perfect all the time now. People are getting desensitized with that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro, I have to peel myself out of bed like, three days a week, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude, like the. It's just the way it is, man. It's called life. Now, do you want to have life with some money or do you want to have life with no money?

[DJ]

That's right.

[Zhan]

Yeah. You know, you said that quote, I

[Andy Frisella]

can tell you this. I've had life with no money, and it was a lot harder than when I have life now and I have some money.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Because you know what? Like, I. Dude, you know, I was feeling down yesterday and I bought a motorcycle. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, like it made me feel good for a couple hours and I didn't have to stress about it. I'm just like, yeah, I'll. I'll take that. Yeah. You know, Do I need it? No, but it made me feel good for a couple hours. Like, I don't know what. Like, that's real, bro. Oh, that doesn't make you happy? No, but it made me happy for an hour.

[DJ]

Dude, that's real, man. Yeah, that's real, bro. Well, we got one more question.

[Andy Frisella]

Everybody likes to buy. Yeah, it's cool. Everybody likes to get new. It's fun, dude. Yeah, bro. Like, it is what it is, man.

[DJ]

I don't know.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't know.

[DJ]

What would I say?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's. The DJ is the king of that.

[DJ]

What is it?

[Andy Frisella]

Impulsive purchases.

[DJ]

Oh, no, I like deals.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, impulsive deals.

[DJ]

Impulsive deals.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. He loves them timeshares.

[DJ]

Yeah, man. Guys, let's got one more question for you, though, guys. Andy, question number three. Andy, I'm 24, and I have heard you talk about how important intent is, and I think Tim Grover said it in a way that. Be where your feet are or something to that effect. My question. Can you talk more about why it's important to be more intentional about your time and then how you become great at it? I think a lot of people struggle with this. I do, for sure. Where I can be physically somewhere, but not there at all.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, man, you know what? I don't really. I'm not the best at that. That's something I struggle with as well, you know? Like, even when I'm somewhere where I should be present, I'm thinking about other things.

[DJ]

I think everybody does.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I mean, especially now with phones and shit, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, you could be, you know, I think.

[DJ]

But not.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, I think. I think it's a practice. Like, anything. I think you got to practice it, you know, like put your phone in a cabinet or something, you know, and just kind of like, be there. I'm not the best at that.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't even feel qualified to answer it, to be honest. Like, my mind's always in a million different places at every single point in time. And, you know, you could literally be talking to me, and I look like I'm hearing everything you say, and I'm hearing literally nothing. Yeah. And those of you that have relationships, you've probably gotten okay at that.

[DJ]

That's right. That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

But it's. It's kind of like that for me. And it comes in and out, and, you know, when I know I have to listen, I will listen. And when it's not, and this is going to sound selfish, but when it's not something I truly care about, I just tune it the out and I Don't hear it.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And it's probably something I struggle with the most. And I think it just takes, you know, practice of being intentional. I will say this, that when I do that never one time has something happened where the world fell apart. Never one time did, you know, the, the businesses come to an end, burn down. Yeah. Like nothing bad's ever happened. It's like a paranoia that you have as a business owner. And I think that's natural. When you build something from literal scratch from nothing. You are so concerned about it all the time because for the first number of years, dude, you are in a place where one or two things could happen and you could literally be out of business. Okay. And with social media, that is still kind of the case. Like there are things that can happen that put a big dent in your business if you're not like, watching closely. And you know, I talk to my dad about this all the time because like back in his day, you know, you, you, you close the door at five o', clock, dude.

[DJ]

It was business hours. Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And I think that this idea, and this is kind of up the world, bro, because it's up families and it's up culture and it's, it's been bad. But competitors are going to compete, right? And when it changed from you lock the door and go home to it doesn't matter if the door is locked, business is still going on. The competitors, the, the hungriest people saw that as an opportunity to get ahead. And it was no different than when people were using steroids in baseball. Like, you got two or three guys start using it, then, well, dude, it's like Andy Pettis said, when he got caught, he's like, hey man, all these other dudes are doing it and I got a 20 million dollar contract. So you're telling me that you just wouldn't do it because to compete and everybody else, you have to do it.

[DJ]

If everybody's using the chainsaw and you're still using that, you're gonna lose. You're gonna lose.

[Andy Frisella]

And so when people started putting that time in and seeing that as an opportunity, the hungriest people, it made everybody have to operate that way. And so entrepreneurship now is much different than it was 30 years ago and not in a good way, you know, And I don't think that's going to change. So I think it's irrelevant to gripe about. Yeah, but it's different. And you know, you are signing up for a different life. But like we talked about in the second question, you know, There's a different outcome for that life. So, you know, I think it's just practice. I. You know, if I had kids, I'm sure I would be a much more serious about that. Like, my brother's very serious about that. Okay. Like, you cannot call my brother when he leaves the office. He will not answer his phone. He won't. He won't answer for me.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

He won't answer. Like, you just. It's tomorrow.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And he's great about it, and I admire that. And I don't think it costs us anything for him to be that way. You know what I mean?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So it's just. It's a mental addiction that you get into, especially when you're very hungry. And if you're going to have a family, I think it's important to like, really get that curtailed in. I don't have the typical go home, you know, deal. So for me, it's not something I've ever had to like, really, like, really, really curtail in. You know what I mean? So I. I'm probably the wrong guy to ask, but I'm just telling you again, you know all these people that act like they got it all figured out, they're full of dude, and, and, and dude. You want to know who's really full of? It's like Zhan said a minute ago. It's the ones that act the most perfect. It's the ones that flaunt their marriage. It's the ones that flaunt their. Their perfect life. It's the ones that act like they have it all figured out. And then they try to market to you how you could do it too.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

And it's funny because karma always comes around for those people. Their relationship falls apart. There's a big breakup, something, and then it fractures their whole thing. I've seen it a gazillion times.

[DJ]

Million.

[Andy Frisella]

I actually think people that market their marriage are probably like. I think those are like the shittiest people. If I'm being completely honest, bro, they

[DJ]

got the biggest weird.

[Andy Frisella]

To me, it's super weird. Not only that, it's your family. And second of all, you don't know how to be. You don't have a perfect marriage. You're lying.

[DJ]

Yeah. What's the standard?

[Andy Frisella]

You're lying.

[DJ]

Compared to what?

[Andy Frisella]

You're lying. You're lying, okay? You don't have it. And nobody has it all.

[Zhan]

Nobody has it.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

And nobody's a fucking expert at it.

[Zhan]

The way I see it is, okay, person A is married to person B, they might be really good doing that, but I'm not person A. My wife's not person B. We are so different than that person. Dude, how can I take love and marriage advice?

[Andy Frisella]

Because it's. It's hope and that's. Hope and convenience are the only two products that are ever fucking sold, okay? And people live in a shitty marriage with a shitty life. They see something like that and they say, well, I hope that maybe I could do that too. And then they buy their shit. And I just think it's. I think it's low level scum shit. That's my personal opinion of it.

[DJ]

The last thought on this, I just don't.

[Andy Frisella]

I just, I. That's my personal opinion of it. Like, I don't think that that's something that people should be marketing and I don't think that people that are really good at business do that. Like you, you build businesses.

[DJ]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean?

[DJ]

That's right. Last thought on the. The intentionality piece of it too, because, dude, I think about this all the time, you know, you. I'll be scrolling and I see like the videos of like the like concerts from like the 80s, right? And you look at the crowd and obviously this is before cell phones and shit. And it's just people just there, you know what I'm saying? Like, and they're in that moment, they really, they can really, you know, relive that concert a million times in their lifetime. And it's just like, it's so weird how society just in general has moved from that.

[Andy Frisella]

How many times do you. How many times do you think people that record fireworks watch the fireworks?

[DJ]

Yes.

[Zhan]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

The answer is zero.

[DJ]

Zero.

[Andy Frisella]

How many times. How many times do people that go to a concert post, pick up their phone and look at the concert on their phone? They don't do it.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, it's stupid. It's so weird.

[Zhan]

There's a study that actually came out that talks about, first it was attending the event that gave you the endorphins, that gave you the dopamine hit. Next it moved to actually capturing it. So I have it captured.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm here.

[Zhan]

My phone. I'm here. I was here. I can capture. I captured it. And now it has elevated. It has elevated because now the people are getting the dopamine hit from people commenting. Oh, it's so cool. After you post.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah. People are theatrically living for the approval of people that they've never even met in real life.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

It's weird.

[Zhan]

It's so weird. That's why people have this fake online Personas where they just want to show you the highlights.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, it's also why when you meet a lot of these people in real life, they're nothing like what they are online.

[Zhan]

Somebody said that to me, I don't remember who said it to me but this guy was telling that he went to a business expo and most of the people were like really, really young doing business. That's cool. But then he, when he was actually going to talk to them, they were so awkward and could not stand a real conversation because they're so accustomed to doing everything online and typing for everything behind the camera.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, it's the same reason why young dudes can't go up the ground. Girls in public, they're had to do it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

DM easy. Yeah, DM's easy. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

But like, you know, I mean, look bro, you can't put the genie back in the bottle. It's not gonna happen. The best you can do is learn how to manage it appropriately. And you know, this is why we're seeing in person experience make such a good comeback.

[Zhan]

Everything that was really hot in the 90s is coming back.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Because people are recognizing what we've been talking about. They're recognizing the damage that social media has done to culture and they're over it. And they're looking for authentic human connections. They're looking to do business with companies that are that way. They're looking to spend time with their friends, they're looking to be in a community. And you know, that's a lot of companies are going to really struggle because they've never done business.

[DJ]

I can't make that adjustment.

[Andy Frisella]

I love it. Because that's how we built our business. Right.

[Zhan]

You also said that years ago.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zhan]

This is going to come back.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh yeah, of course bro. You know, I don't, I don't. When you've been doing something for as long as I have, you know, and you have to pay micro attention on a day by day basis over the course of decades, it's not hard to understand what's happening or see it.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, and it's not some superpower psychic ability. It's just me. I got pattern recognition over the course of 30 years.

[Zhan]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, so it, you know, I, I think the business, I think a lot of businesses are going to struggle with how to connect with people because they never had to do it. There's a lot of businesses that exist right now. That are, that were built in the height of that social media world that are going to have a really hard time adapting to the way that people are going to prefer to do business in the future. And the good thing about me and is that I grew up in that era, you know, I built a business before the Internet came, I built a great business when the Internet came. And I'm going to continue to build great businesses because I understand both worlds. So, you know, experiential, you know, in person, human analog connection is just going to continue to get bigger and bigger, bigger. And I think once it comes back this next time, it's not ever going to go back to social media. It's not meaning social media. It's never going to. You know, the dead Internet theory talks about this like over 50% of the accounts on the Internet are actually not even real people, they're bots. So when you think about that and you see all these comments on the Internet and you realize like half of these people statistically are bots, what are you actually doing? You know what I'm saying? You're performing for a computer program. And wouldn't it be in the social media company's best interest to create mass networks of artificial intelligent people that can communicate with the real people and make them feel like a big deal? Wouldn't it be in the social media's company's best interest to allow people to, to gain millions of followers even if those followers weren't real? Because it makes people be addicted to their program, keeps them on the platform. Okay? So like, dude, let's think about this, bro. Do you know what a million people looks like?

[DJ]

A ton of people.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, Like I just want you to think about this. The University of Michigan's football stadium and Ohio State in Nebraska holds roughly a hundred thousand people. Okay? Think about that now. Think about 10 of those or 20 of those, or 30 of those 1, 2, 3 million of those people watching someone make stupid ass videos. That's not real, dude. It's not real, okay? In the personal development world we have this thing that is called asses in seats, okay? There's lots of people who make content, who get all this traffic and they get all these comments and they get all these views, but they can't fill a room of a thousand people. They can't fill a room of 500 people. Why is that? That's because the shit's fake.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? And they're not making a real impact and they're not making a difference. They're Performing for a few regular people and mostly a computer program. And then you think about like, that's how you're going to spend your life, you know, like that's one of the reasons I kind of got out of posting on a regular basis because I'm just like, yeah, does it really matter? Like when I sell tickets to shit, people show the fuck up. But that's because of the cumulative benefit that I've provided for decades, right? Like, most people have seen my content. Most people that are on the Internet have seen my content. Now I might have the most followers, all right, I might not get the most comments, but my has been shared cumulatively for 15 years heavily, okay? And that creates a situation where people have gotten value out of it, which creates a situation where when I sell tickets, people show the fuck up. And you know, that's real influence. And I'm not just saying that to toot my own horn. That's. There's a difference between attention and influence. And most people want influence, but they, they mistake it for attention. And you know, I think a lot of people waste their lives trying to be, you know, relevant to people on the Internet that might not even be real people. And that's kind of fucked up.

[Zhan]

I didn't want to cut you off, but I did want to say this point. When you said your clips have been shared for last 15 years and has created real influence. I am the proof of that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

The first time I ever saw any content of you was a compilation and a YouTube video. And when you, when your video came up, the MFCO podcast was on the screen. I started listening to that. And then everything in my life slowly, gradually changed. And now, especially after coming and working here, being around everybody for the last six years, the team, you, everybody, everything in my life has been changed forever now like you said, once you realize your potential, you can never go back.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

So now I have realized like I can do all of this, what I'm doing right now. And just like me, there are hundreds and hundreds of people who have come for the OS event at Summer Smash event. They have changed their lives completely drastically. We have hundreds and hundreds of testimonials of that.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, dude, it's just cuz like I'm trying to put out that actually helps people.

[Zhan]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I'm trying to tell people the reality, like not market to them.

[Zhan]

Well, it also. I was just going to say that. Doesn't that also tie into the intent like you're doing talk about with public

[Andy Frisella]

speaking you know, like. I don't know. You know, if you give people benefit, they're gonna buy your. It's just. It's a reciprocal thing, you know, Like.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't know when you first. Out of curiosity, I never asked you this, but, like, were you living in America or were you living in India?

[Zhan]

I was living in America at that time.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh.

[Unknown Rapper]

I'm serious.

[Zhan]

I wasn't. No, That's a good question. That's a curious question. I was in Chicago at that time. That's roughly 2016. I moved to America in 2014. So, like. Roughly.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I was just curious.

[Zhan]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

My older brother was a big element in trying to expose me to stuff like this. Just to get us motivated a little bit.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Zhan]

And that what got me.

[Andy Frisella]

That's cool.

[Zhan]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

That's super cool.

[DJ]

Hell, yeah, man. Well, guys. Andy, that was three.

[Andy Frisella]

Yep. All right, guys, well, let's go kick some ass this week, and we'll see you later. Don't be a hoe, Share the show,

[Unknown Rapper]

Whipple Sleeping on the flow now My jury box froze fuck up, bow fuck a stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole Got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.