1045. Q&AF: When To Stop Planning, Psychology Behind Premium Pricing & Respecting Yourself

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode 1045 — Q&AF: When To Stop Planning, Psychology Behind Premium Pricing & Respecting Yourself

Date: July 20, 2026
Host: Andy Frisella
Co-host: Shelby

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Episode Overview

This Q&AF episode features Andy Frisella answering real questions from listeners about business, mindset, and self-respect. The key themes include knowing when to stop planning and start executing, the psychology and practicality behind premium pricing, and how to develop genuine self-respect. Andy cuts through the noise of modern entrepreneurship culture, sharing hard-won lessons and blunt advice on what actually works.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. When to Stop Planning and Start Doing

Listener’s Question: I over-plan and never act. How do I get past this?

• Andy’s Insight:

  • Some of the most successful people aren’t the smartest—they’re the ones who simply take action without overthinking risks and consequences.

    "Some of the dumbest people in the world are some of the most successful... Don’t overthink it, just go fucking do it." (07:02)

  • Overconsumption of information creates “success zombies”—people who gather advice but never execute.

    "A success zombie is someone who... become on-paper experts, and they never go, okay. And they think that consuming more information is actually somehow going to relate to them having more success, which in reality, it has nothing to do with it." (09:38)

  • No plan survives reality; execution and adapting are more important than having a perfect plan.

    "Once you start to go down the path, you're going to find out that things are going to change and you're going to get punched in the face and you're going to realize, oh, what do I do now? And you're going to have to figure it out along the way." (07:36)

  • The internet is filled with people “coaching coaches to coach coaches”—most have never built real businesses.

    "There’s probably like 10 people on the Internet that have actually built real companies that you could fucking go and see... The rest are full of shit." (12:11)

  • Advice: Find 1-2 credible people with real results, ignore the flood of “gurus,” and just start.

• Shelby’s Input:

  • Adapting is key; real plans always change.

    "I don't think I've ever had a plan that... stuck to the plan the entire... way." (13:23)

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2. Psychology Behind Premium Pricing

Listener’s Question: I feel guilty charging high prices for my wedding photography, especially coming from a humble background. How do I overcome this?

• Andy’s Insight:

  • If you equate your personal sense of wealth to your clients, you’ll always stay broke.

    "You're gonna be poor your whole life. Get used to it. Because you have a poor mindset." (21:41)

  • Your prices must reflect the value you provide, not your personal income or guilt.
  • Wealthy clients are less trouble and more appreciative; price high and serve those who value your work.

    "Raise your prices or even double your prices... only work with the people that can easily afford it... They don't complain, they don't nickel and dime. They're usually much more grateful. And it makes your life way easier..." (22:59)

  • Entrepreneurs and salespeople must detach pricing from personal bias; never judge a client’s ability to pay by appearance.

    "You never know what somebody can afford... Your judgements are backwards anyway." (23:39)

  • Price signals quality. Higher prices can elevate both brand and perceived value.

    "There is a direct correlation in the consumer's mind between price and quality. You can't break it." (27:06)

• Shelby’s Input:

  • Don’t let old stereotypes dictate your assumptions about what “wealth” looks like.

    "Poor dudes wearing the fake rich... It's the middle of a social economic class try as hard as they can to look like they're at the top." (29:05)

• Andy’s Additional Advice:

  • Quality must match or exceed the price charged.

    "The quality work has to be there no matter what." (26:40)

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3. Earning Real Self-Respect

Listener’s Question: I’ve spent years chasing others’ respect, but I struggle to respect myself. How did you build self-respect?

• Andy’s Insight:

  • True respect comes from personal integrity: doing what you say you’ll do to your own standards, no compromise.

    "I followed through on the things that I told myself I was going to do at the level of standard that I expected for myself. In a non-compromising way." (30:55)

  • Living truly to your standards—not others’—builds both self-respect and attracts respect from others.

    "Trying to manipulate your way to respect by behaving the way that other people expect you to will leave you feeling empty and disappointed." (33:04)

  • Culture and social media drive performative validation (“doing a dance for the public approval”).

    "Our culture is a performative culture... Social media does not operate in a healthy way for people. What it does is it trains people to perform in a way that gets rewarded through meaningless metrics like likes, shares, and comments." (33:31)

  • Beware the victim mentality rewarded by social engagement—don’t fall into the trap of reinforcing weakness for validation.

    "There is nothing noble about wallowing in your sad story. Every motherfucker out there has a sad story... And the people with the saddest stories don't talk about them all the time because they're so bad they don't want to remind themselves of it." (38:30)

  • If you share struggles publicly, make sure to also share how you overcame them; this serves others, rather than trapping yourself (and others) in negativity.

    "If you're gonna share your hardships, make sure that you're sharing how you overcame it, too. That actually serves people. That's noble." (39:49)

• Shelby’s Input:

  • Social media incentivizes victimhood and performative suffering, which is psychologically damaging.

    "If you're going to cry over spilled milk in a video, cool. The next video needs to be you cleaning the shit up." (39:40)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Over-Planning:

  • "All great entrepreneurs have something in common, and it's they are willing to go before they understand exactly what to do, knowing that when these situations arise, they'll handle them as they come." — Andy (08:09)

• On Info Overload in the Internet Age:

  • "Pick one or two people who have built real shit, listen to what the fuck they say, and go. And you'll be at a huge advantage." — Andy (13:09)

• Entrepreneurship Glamorization:

  • "Real talk... entrepreneurship has gotten so blown up and glorified that there's a lot of people that think they should be entrepreneurs that just shouldn't be. And... not everybody can. It takes a certain type of person to do it." — Andy (43:03)

• On Performative Culture:

  • "The irony is... the motherfuckers that don’t perform and just say what the fuck they think are the ones that are successful at social anyway." — Andy (40:41)

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Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Section / Highlight | |---------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 06:45 | Q1: Planning vs. Action – Andy’s answer begins | | 09:38 | "Success zombie" definition & info overload | | 13:23 | Shelby: No plan ever goes according to plan | | 21:41 | Q2: Premium Pricing Guilt – Andy’s blunt advice | | 23:39 | Judging clients by appearance, pricing psychology | | 27:06 | Price = Perceived Quality | | 30:55 | Q3: Respecting Yourself – Self-integrity | | 33:31 | Performative culture and social media critique | | 38:30 | The dangers of victimhood and public suffering | | 39:49 | Only share hardships if you also share solutions | | 43:03 | Not everyone should be an entrepreneur |

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Conclusion

Andy Frisella delivers classic no-BS advice: Take action instead of endlessly planning, don’t apologize for charging premium prices when you provide real value, and prioritize developing self-respect through disciplined standards over seeking the approval of others or chasing empty social media validation. The conversation is direct, sometimes harsh, and loaded with practical experience—aimed to push listeners out of mediocrity and into meaningful achievement.

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"Don't be a hoe, share the show." — Andy Frisella (44:29)

Transcript

[Shelby]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove Counted millions in a cold bad

[Andy Frisella]

booty swole Got her own bank roll

[Shelby]

can't fold Just a no head shot case Cloak, cloak. Clothes.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up? Guys, it's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of my society, and welcome to reality. Guys, Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJs going to tell you how to submit them.

[Shelby]

Yeah, guys, you can email your questions into ask [e-mail] you can also click the link in the description below or just drop them in the comments section of the Q and a videos on YouTube. Yeah, we should tell them.

[Andy Frisella]

We'll tell them here in just one second.

[Shelby]

Okay? Yeah. All right.

[Andy Frisella]

If this is your first time listening to the show, we have Q and A, F, which you're about to hear. And then we have cti. Right? CTI stands for Cruise the Internet. These are like two points of the overall theme of the show. The overall theme of the show is to help fix what's going on in the world, especially here in the United States, culturally. Okay? And to do that, we got to be aware of what's going on, which is the purpose of cti. And then we got to get better, okay? Because culture is made of individuals, so that's kind of how this works here. So today you're going to get better today. Tomorrow we play cti. You're going to learn more about what's going on, what we think is going on. All right? So other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have occasionally 75 hard verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to improve their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's first, most popular mental transformation program in history. Okay? And you can get that entire program for free at episode 208. All right, that's on the audio feed only, not on YouTube. All right? There's also a book called the Book on Mental Toughness, which you can get at andy for ella.com which has the entire Live Hard program, plus a whole bunch of other Information on mental toughness, how to cultivate it, why it's important, and how to use it in your life. Last thing, we don't run commercials on the show, all right? We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads or commercials. And we ask in return something very simple, that you help us grow the show by sharing the show, all right? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective, it's something worth hearing or worth sharing. Please help us share the show. If you see the clips online and you think these are good points, please help us share the show by sharing the clips, all right? Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up?

[Shelby]

It is peanut butter and jelly, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. You know, everything I've ever done has been to try and make people better, you know, so it's. I really don't do anything. Even the new operator standard project that we have with the arcane system inside of it. For those of you that don't know that are fans of the MFCO project, the MSCO project is back. If you go to operatorstandard.com you can sign up to get it. We've been recording episodes in there for seven months. So it's all business focused, all mindset focused, if that's what you're into. And like, this is your preferred format Q&AF of the show, you're gonna definitely want to go subscribe to that. So just putting that out there and it's a whole bunch of other stuff, too. It's not just a podcast. It's an entire human behavioral operating system that, if you use properly, literally makes success inevitable. So check that out. Operatorstandard.com Hell yeah, man.

[Shelby]

Now, I asked if we should tell them because we did. We. We did have a. We are bringing something else back.

[Andy Frisella]

Tell them we're bringing Call Ins back live.

[Shelby]

Q&As are coming back. Yeah. And we'll be pushing out some information for you guys on how to. I do that. We had to address it. You know, I think. I think one thing you do very well, Andy. This is, you know, I'll suit your homework for you, but you're very good on taking something and you know the saying, like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Shelby]

I don't think necessarily applies for you. You know what I'm saying? I feel like you're always looking for ways to improve something or make it better. And I think we're going to make the Q and A's.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's going to be way better the first go around. We kind of learned a lot about what we liked, what we didn't like. And so this, this next one's going to be a lot better.

[Shelby]

Has that always just been like an innate thing for you? You know what I'm saying? Like, like wanting to improve something like, like not settling with it's good enough, you know?

[Andy Frisella]

I don't know man. Not always. Like, like I used to be like most people are where good enough was good enough and like I check a box and I'd be done. But once I really got into business and I really started understanding what it took to compete because of my desire to win, I realized that that's just what it took. And then I, I've operated it so long that way now where I think it's just become part of who I am.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

But no, I don't think that was something I was born with or innate or anything like that. It's just, it's what's required. And, and when you do what's required long enough, it becomes second nature.

[Shelby]

Yeah. 100. Dude. I forget what I mean.

[Andy Frisella]

I used to be a pretty lazy person, dude. Like for real. Like I. And this is why I get so frustrated with a lot of people, especially when it comes to their own personal development, their own success. Because it's like I know what the they can achieve. I'm aware of what they, what they can achieve. And the stories that some of y' all tell yourself about why you can't are like honestly just so weak that it pisses me off. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, you could be so much more if you would just like get out of your own way.

[Shelby]

So I was. What's this? That famous saying that Les Brown has? You can always better your best.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Shelby]

You know what I'm saying? Like it just stuck with me. It's, it's. It's a really good saying man. Yeah. I love it. Dude. Let's. Let's make some people better.

[Andy Frisella]

Cool.

[Shelby]

Shelby.

[Andy Frisella]

Guys.

[Shelby]

Andy. Question number one. Andy. I'm the type of person who likes to have a plan. I research everything, think through every angle, try to minimize my risk. The problem is I think it's become an excuse. I'll spend six months planning something that probably only needed six days of thought. How did you learn when enough planning was enough? Was there ever a point in time in your life where you over planned? It's a massive struggle for me.

[Andy Frisella]

No There wasn't. And this is why I always tell you guys that some of the dumbest people in the world are some of the most successful, okay? We have this term going around the Internet now called maxing. All right?

[Shelby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

That's what people are saying. That's a thing, okay? And what it actually means is a very valuable thing to keep in mind. It's that. Don't overthink it. Just go fucking do it, okay? Some of the most successful people that I've come across in my life are not people who are highly intelligent, bro. They're just people that are so dumb that they don't think about the consequences of what might happen if they it up. And then when gets up, they're like, oh, well, got up. Like, what do we got to do? And they handle it, which is in line with the proper attitude of what it takes to win. You could sit down and you can read every book, you can go to every podcast, you can go to every seminar, you can make all the plans, you can sit down and you can map it out as perfect as you think you could possibly do it. And once you start to go down the path, you're going to find out that things are going to change and you're going to get punched in the face and you're going to realize, oh, what do I do now? And you're going to have to figure it out along the way, okay? So all great entrepreneurs have something in common, and it's they are willing to go before they understand exactly what to do, knowing that when these situations arise, they'll handle them as they come. That is what all great entrepreneurs have in common. Every single one. Every single one is willing to go before they are actually ready to go. That's just the way it is. Most people are the opposite of that. They are like this person where they are planning and scheming and reading and consuming, and then they're consuming all this information where one person says this and. And another person says this and this book says this and that book says this, and this seminar told me this and this guy told me this, and they freeze because they can't figure out what the right thing to do is. And what you got to understand is you're not going to know the right thing until you're on the fucking path, okay? So you have to be willing to go, and you have to be willing to accept that no matter how good your plan may be, it's not going to go as planned. And you're gonna have to figure it Out. That is the nature of entrepreneurship and that is why so few people actually become successful entrepreneurs. Because the fear of the unknown is intolerable to most people. Okay? This is the nature. And you say, well, I think it's become an excuse. Yes, absolutely, it's become a excuse.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You are. You are what I call a success zombie. Ok? A success zombie is someone who has this idea of what they want to do, and then they go out and they read every book, they listen to every podcast, they go to every seminar, they consume every data point. They become on paper experts, and they never go, okay. And they think that consuming more information is actually somehow going to relate to them having more success, which in reality, it has nothing to do with it. Because even if you know nothing and you decide to go, you're going to figure it out as you go. So really, dude, the bottom line is you just have to go. And it doesn't matter if you read one book or 10 books or 20 books. And I would argue that the less, the better. You know, when I was starting out, dude, we didn't have the overwhelming amount of opinions and information and posts and reels and experts and gurus and this and that. There was like five books you could read on success, and they were written by guys like Sam Walton, okay, And Jack Welch and, you know, Tony Robbins and these guys who are, you know, the, like, you know, have done amazing things in their life and that's what you had. So you didn't have this overwhelming amount of information coming in your ears all the time. And I think that was a big advantage that somebody like I had me had when I was younger versus some of these people now. And. And, dude, what makes it even worse now is that these people consider creating content about business the same as being successful in business. And there are. That's two different things. How many of these people actually own a company? How many of these people have actually built anything? How many of these people are doing anything other than selling courses on how to coach coaches, to coach other fucking coaches? Okay? We're talking about building real businesses. We're talking about actually operating companies. There's like three people on the Internet that have actually built real companies that you could fucking go and see. And you can go in the stores and you could see the products, and they have employees and they're. There's probably like 10. Okay? For real. 10. The rest are full of. All right? And they're talking about how to manipulate traffic, hoping to cause some sort of success in business. Oh, you gotta have this hook, and you gotta say this thing, and you gotta have this cta and you got. How about this? How about you build some real, and then people want to find out how you built some real. Build some real, and then talk about what you built. How. How about that? That's credible. That's real. Listen to those people, the people who have actually built things that are sharing how they built things, okay? Outside of that, you should be consuming zero content, period, because the rest of them don't know what the fuck they're talking about. There's. There's a thousand reels a day that come in my feed that I could tell you for sure are terrible advice. For sure. I know for sure because I've made those mistakes. I've thought that way. I understand why they're saying what they're saying, and they're saying it with such certainty that it makes these people who don't know anything think, well, this must be the way. There is so much terrible information on the Internet around building a business and entrepreneurship that I couldn't. I wouldn't even know where to start to break it down. Okay, so pick one or two people who have built real, listen to what the they say, and go. And you'll be at a huge advantage.

[Shelby]

You know the thing on the planning piece? Because I was thinking about this as you were. You were answering. But it's like, dude, I don't think I've ever had a plan that I've made in my life that actually, like, stuck to the plan the entire, like, not that I didn't succeed, you know what I'm saying? But, like, the original plan in mind stayed through a hundred percent of the way. I don't think I can. I can't name one.

[Andy Frisella]

One thing that's just not the nature of building things. I mean, when it comes to. When we're talking about building businesses, that's just not the nature of how it works, bro. There's too many outside circumstances that are happening at any given time to. For the plan to stay rigid, the plan's got to be fluid, and you've just got to be committed to going and committed to learning when you make mistakes. And the rest will work itself out.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, but like, you're. You're basically, like, saying, you know, I'm gonna climb Mount Everest. I'm gonna climb Mount Everest, and we're gonna go at this many steps a day. And you're not accounting for storms, you're not accounting for avalanches. You're not accounting for this. So A storm comes and you missed your one day, so then you just quit.

[Shelby]

Plan's over.

[Andy Frisella]

Plan doesn't work.

[Shelby]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

That's not how the gets achieved.

[Shelby]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, so, like, you know. Yeah, dude, to answer your question, you're aware that you're in this success zombie mindset, and you need to break out of it. And so whatever it is you're trying to do, you just need to go do it, and you'll learn a thousand times more than you could ever learn consuming information from someone else.

[Shelby]

I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

This is why it's important to listen to people who have done it. There's a big difference between theory and reality. There's a big difference be between saying this is how it works and knowing this is how the it works. Two different things. The guy at the starting line who's making content about business has never built a business, and all he's doing is selling his own brand to get coaching. And like that. That does not know. He can't know. He cannot know because he hasn't gone down the gauntlet. The guy on the other side that's actually built something, he can look at that guy and be like, yeah, that's wrong. That's wrong. That's wrong. In, like a snap of a second, okay? And I'm telling you, 98 of the content on the Internet is. It's all people trying to stroke their own dicks and try to pretend like they're this big thing. They went out and rented a car. They appear to be successful. And, dude, like, you know, people buy it because they're ignorant to what's going on. But, you know, it's whatever, man.

[Shelby]

Like, easy come, easy go.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. And it. And you see it because every three years, there's a new batch of these people.

[Shelby]

I don't know where they come from. Like, it's so weird. Yeah. Yeah, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, they see the easy money, bro.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

They say, oh, I can make a digital. Like, I'm not against digital products, by the way, okay? Digital products from people who have built real are valuable. Digital products from people who theorize about are trash. That's it. Okay? So they realize. These guys realize that there's a ton of margin digital products. Instead of going out and building a real company, they try to consider, well, this is actually a real company. No, the. It isn't. It isn't, dude. Okay? Coaching coaches to coach coaches to coach other coaches is not a real company. I'm sorry. You might want to. You might want to, like, think that is, but it's not, okay. We don't need more coaches. We need more building that actually contribute to the fabric of this culture in this, in this country, okay? Real products that serve real people. Not selling them a dream and saying, oh, here's the Dream and $9,997, and here's the dream. And then, like, like, that's what the. We're dealing with, dude. And, and at some point, those of you that buy that, you deserve what the. You get because you're buying the same. You're buying the quick fix.

[Shelby]

You got the, the acuity to understand the difference.

[Andy Frisella]

Look, man, it's important. I, I, you know, it's hard for me to feel bad for people like that.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, you decided that this was going to be the quick solution, and you decided to leverage yourself and put yourself in credit card debt and all this and makes you just as bad as the dude selling it.

[Shelby]

Well, it's like, I mean, you get the first one.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, we've all been one time, bro. Like, like, dude, when I was younger, you know, I got burned like that.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? And it's because I had the wrong attitude, okay? When I was young, I bought a. I tell you, I bought a product, okay? When the Internet first came out, like, very first came out, I'm talking about the late 90s, okay, Google and search engines was not really a thing, okay? So I'm gonna explain to you. You couldn't go somewhere and type in A and say, what was this? Or what is. Who in my area does plumbing? Okay? It wasn't a thing. You had email addresses, you had websites that you went to, but search engines were like, not a known thing, all right? You had a couple things like Yahoo and they were coming around, but people didn't really understand what it was. So before I tell you how this product project that I bought into is, I want to explain that we were living in a different time, because you're going to think I'm a when I tell you this. Well, anyway, so I broke out scammed

[Shelby]

by the first game. I did. I did.

[Andy Frisella]

I got scammed. From the guy selling the, Selling the dream on the Internet, I got scammed. Yeah, okay? And there was this guy who was selling this, this thing, and it was called Internet Yellow Pages, okay? Which made a lot of sense because back in the day before the Internet, like, if you wanted to look up a plumber, you had to go to the yellow pages and look up plumbing, and there'd be a bunch of ads in there, all right? So this made sense. Like it was. It made sense back then. So he had this thing called the Internet Yellow Pages. And what he did was he sold franchises to independent reps for $9,000. Okay.

[Shelby]

Damn.

[Andy Frisella]

Now listen. So I bought this on a credit card, all right? And my job was to go to businesses door to door and say, hey, would you like a listing on the Internet Yellow Pages? And sell the I sold zero ads. Okay. And I tried it for a long time.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Nobody gave a. Because no one saw the value in the Internet.

[Shelby]

It's too new.

[Andy Frisella]

No one understood it.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So it never worked. And the whole project never worked. And. And I got taken for $9,000 on that. Okay. At a time when $9,000 might as well been $9 million, I didn't have it.

[Shelby]

That's great.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, so. So, I mean, I could understand people being taken advantage of when they don't know any better, but at this point in time, like, I feel like with the amount of information that's on the Internet and the amount of. I don't know, maybe it's just my perspective. It's, it's. It should be easy to tell when people are full of. I don't know.

[Shelby]

Well, I mean, or, you know, bare minimum, you're not, you know, you're not trying to do that again.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Shelby]

You know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta learn from it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I didn't buy another program.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Built something.

[Shelby]

Oh, well, that coach was just wrong. Let me try this.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right.

[Shelby]

Yeah, you got. Yeah, it takes more, man. I get it, dude. I get it, man. Guys, any question too. Let's get to it. My question is, did you ever feel guilty on moving your prices up? If so, how did you go about that? Hello and yachty. I. Andy. I am from a. From the Navajo reservation. I am Navajo. I'm a 24 year old wedding photographer, videographer. When doing my job, I charge a lot for weddings. However, I have always had this sense of guilt for charging what I charge. Coming from the rez, I did not see a lot of wealth. So charging fifteen hundred dollars or more feels wrong. My girlfriend, family and friends have told me to charge more for weddings. And even some of my clients say I need to charge more. But I cannot shake this guilty feeling for charging people high prices. Even when adding more value to my wedding packages. I still feel the same way.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, you're gonna be poor your whole life. Get used to it. Because you have a poor mindset.

[Shelby]

All right?

[Andy Frisella]

Your mindset is because $1500 is a lot to me, then it must be a lot to everybody else. I know people that shit $1,500 out like it ain't nothing, okay? They don't give a fuck about $1,500, all right? And when you start to make objections up in your head based upon your own personal financial situation, you are guaranteed to lose. In business, you're guaranteed to lose. And most of the time, we see this in salespeople. Salespeople have a really hard time selling things that are outside the affordability scale of their own personal financial situation. So you have to, as a salesperson and as a business owner, understand that this is a math equation, okay? You have to charge the value of what it is that you offer. And there are going to be customers that, that cannot afford it, and there are going to be customers that don't think twice about it. And you have to decide which ones you're going to pander to, okay? And if you want to pander to a bunch of broke people your entire life, you're going to have a hard time in business. It's going to be a constant fight forever. My recommendation would be to raise your prices or even double your prices from where they are and only work with the people that can easily afford it because those people are less maintenance. They don't, they don't complain, they don't nickel and dime. They're usually much more grateful. And it makes your life way easier because now you're making money and you have less rub on the backside.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? So this is a personal insecurity of yours that is coming from your own worldview that you need to change if you are going to be successful in business, period.

[Shelby]

Yeah, I feel like there's an important thing here. You have to.

[Andy Frisella]

You never know what somebody can afford, by the way, like for all you salespeople that think like, you know, sales people like to do this. They like to look at someone and they like to decide what they think this person can and can't afford. Let me tell you something. This is a, this is a, a reality of people. The people that you think can't afford it because they're walking up in a pair of workout shorts and a cut off T shirt versus the guy that's dressed up in a nice suit or whatever are usually the people that don't give a about whatever it is it costs. And the reason they're not in a nice suit is because they don't give a about wearing a nice suit because they don't have to. Okay? So usually your Judgments are backwards. Anyway, we used to have this guy that would come in to supplement Superstores, bro, and this, it was like this older black dude and he was dressed straight up, straight up like a pimp, okay? He'd wear purple pants and like a silk shirt.

[Shelby]

Lemon pepper step.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, dude, yes. Like an old, like an old pimp daddy, okay? And, and dude, you, you would look at this dude and you'd be like, this guy is a clown. Like, he's not gonna buy. This guy would come in and buy a thousand dollars worth of out of cash. He'd pull a bankroll right out of his pocket and, and walk the out.

[Shelby]

He was a pimp.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? Yeah, but the thing is, is that, you know, if you, if you didn't take the time to help that person and educate them and show them top to bottom, what they would need, you would have never got that sale or figure that out. And a lot of people will brush that off because they'll prejudge somebody based upon what their appearance or what they're wearing or what it is. Bro, most of the places I go into, I'm wearing like exactly what I'm wearing right now. I'm wearing free first form shirt, shorts, and a free T shirt that I got from. I mean, it's not. I had to pay for it.

[Shelby]

Somebody pay it.

[Andy Frisella]

It's free. All right? And a first form hat, you know, and, and you know, dude, I could buy anything I want, like, without thinking about it. So, you know, this is a big problem with entrepreneurs and, and salespeople. And then also, how do you want people to perceive your brand? Okay, how do you want people to talk about your skill set as a photographer? Do you want them to say, oh, Steve is good, you know, he's cheap and he'll get it done. Or do you want them to say, you know what, Steve costs more money, but he's the best. Okay? Because price value correlation is a real thing. People that pay more automatically defend the product that they buy. So instead of saying, oh, yeah, he does a pretty good job and he's affordable, he, they're going to say, yeah, man, he cost more money. But look at our fucking pictures. They're amazing.

[Shelby]

That's right.

[Andy Frisella]

As long as you can deliver on that.

[Shelby]

Well, that was going to be my, my second piece on this because I don't, I don't, I don't want this to go like, oh, I'm sure they understand this piece. But like, you know, the whole thing about charging, you know, you recommend even maybe charge double the quality of the work still has to be there.

[Andy Frisella]

The quality work has to be there no matter what.

[Shelby]

I just didn't want that to be like, oh, it's assumed. It's understood.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, let's. Let's assume that it's decent are good.

[Shelby]

Yeah, okay.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm assuming that it's good. I mean, if it's. You're not going to be able to charge a higher amount of money for it.

[Shelby]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. But, dude, the point I'm getting back at is that there is a. There is a. There is a direct correlation in the consumer's mind between price and quality.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. You can't break it. People understand inherently that when they pay more for something, they're 99% of the time getting a much better product. Okay. And when they pay more for something and they know it's a better product, what's built in is loyalty and then also marketing. Because when they tell their person, you know, hey, I worked with Steve and He charged me $5,000 for wedding pictures. And people are like, what? That's fucking crazy. Now all of a sudden, that person is attacking their judgment, personal attack for paying the $5,000, and they automatically go into defense mode for you. So they go in and they say, dude, you don't understand. This guy is the best there is. He's a legend. This is like having, you know, Babe Ruth photographers, okay? And then that is what builds your brand equity in people's mind. Okay? So there's all kinds of things psychologically to think about here, about how you want to, you know, charge. But at the end of the day, bro, like, I. I mean, you do whatever you want. But I'm telling you what I would do.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I would raise my prices, not apologize, and I do the work, and I'd market to the people that can afford it, and I wouldn't with the other people.

[Shelby]

Yeah, I love that, dude. Side note, you know how I am, I like to think about why people do certain things. And on the topic of, like, you know, that judging the customer based off of what they look like, do you think that goes back to a time in society where people did put more respect into their dress? Right? Like, you know, men were wearing suits on a daily. Whether they were going to work until, like, they went into a store, like, okay, yeah, that guy's a suit guy, maybe. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just trying to think why, where that comes from, though.

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, maybe. Maybe that's where it comes from.

[Shelby]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, it's not what it is, though.

[Shelby]

It's not.

[Andy Frisella]

Now, it doesn't matter what, what. Where it came from. What matters is what is.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And what is. Is the richest usually don't like wearing suits. So they don't wear them.

[Shelby]

That's real.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? So the rich dudes look just like the poor dudes. And if you prejudge them, in fact,

[Shelby]

it's the opposite now. It's the opposite now. Poor dudes wearing the fake rich.

[Andy Frisella]

It's the middle. It's the middle, okay? Middle people in the. In the middle of a social economic class try as hard as they can to look like they're at the top, okay? And the people who are at the top try hard to look like a regular person. And that's the. That's why, like, it's. I don't know, it's pretty easy for me to spot the fake motherfuckers on the Internet.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Because nobody with any real money fudge acts like these dudes. Now what they're doing is they're playing a character based on the perception of what people who are in lower income see as success movies and shit.

[Shelby]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I want to say this. Don't misjudge what I just said, okay? Driving a nice car, having a nice watch, putting yourself together will open up doors for you. It will open up doors for you. But what I'm saying is when people actually get to the point of having a lot of money, like, a lot, they don't care about that because they know that they can. They can buy the door open if they want to. You see what I'm saying?

[Shelby]

Yeah. So I think more importantly is like,

[Andy Frisella]

there's phases to it.

[Shelby]

Yeah, yeah, No, I took that more importantly, though, for the sales guys. Like, you just shouldn't be judging people based off of that shit right now. Yeah, I think that. Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Guys. Andy, question number three. Hi, Andy. I'm 23 years old, and I spent the majority of my time over the last few years trying to earn other people's respect. My boss, my friends, the people I look up to. But the older I get, the more I realize the opinion that bothers me most is my own. There are days where I know I didn't give my best and I have to live with that. So how did you get to the place where you could honestly respect the man you saw in the mirror?

[Andy Frisella]

I followed through on the things that I told myself I was going to do at the level of standard that I expected for myself. In a non compromising way. It's very simple. That's what 75 hard and live hard's about. That's why, that's what it teaches you, okay? If you have high standards for yourself and you think you should be doing certain things and you should be behaving a certain way and you should be acting a certain, putting out a certain effort, et cetera, et cetera, and you don't. It doesn't matter what the numbers say on the scoreboard, you're not going to feel good about yourself, okay? You could still win on the scoreboard and feel like. Because you know, you're half assing.

[Shelby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You understand?

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So like the winning isn't what creates the inner peace that you're looking for. In fact, that's a whole nother discussion. But the point of the matter is, is that when you live to the standard that you expect from yourself, regardless of what the standard is around the people around you, a few things happen. One, you start to respect yourself and you have more confidence. But two, other people start to respect you and they start to, you know, you're talking about, I want to earn the respect. Well, earn the respect by living to your own standard that's higher than everybody else's. That's the easiest way to get people to follow you in the first place. You know, in the beginning they're going to be like, why are you doing things like that? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? Why are you doing this? And you can just answer and be like, that's because that's the way I do things, all right? And when people observe the way that you do things at a much higher standard than the people around them, they automatically fall in line. There's a hierarchy of natural order that starts to materialize without you having to say anything. You don't have to say, oh, I'm a leader. I'm doing this to be a leader. People look and they say, that guy's got his shit together. Yeah, that guy's a fucking killer, okay? And they start to respect that. And that's, that's how respect comes around. That's, you know, trying to manipulate, manipulate your way to respect by behaving the way that other people expect you to will leave you feeling empty and disappointed. Because the truth of the matter is you're not being true to yourself and you're likely not living to the standard of your own, which is probably higher than what they have for you. So you got to quit doing the dance and do Your own dance, if

[Shelby]

that makes sense and to your point, is going to accomplish both of these things you want.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Shelby]

You know, I'm saying. Yeah, the. The. The Seeking the approval, I guess, for validation from others. Right. I feel like this is more. Maybe it's becoming a young generation.

[Andy Frisella]

No, it's because, dude, that's the way our culture set up now.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Our culture is a performative culture. Okay. When you look at the way that social media operates, social media does not operate in a healthy way for people. What it does is it trains people to perform in a way that gets rewarded through meaningless metrics like likes, shares, and comments. Okay? So what they're constantly doing is. Is doing a dance for the public approval. And this is why a lot of people get caught in victim mentality. Okay? And this is just an example that. That I want to use here. But someone. There's lots of examples that I could use here, but this is a one that is very damaging to people. So say someone is going through a hard time and they decide to be, quote, unquote, vulnerable to share that story on the Internet, on Instagram. Okay? They make a post, they say, hey, guys, I just want to be transparent with you. You know, I'm going through a hard time. This, that the other. You know, these are. And it could be totally valid, right? It could be a totally honest post. Well, that engagement will typically be pretty high because it's outside the norm of what they normally post. And people are empathetic, right? People don't like to see other people going through hard times. They want to offer support. That's how people are. And, you know, there's a lot of people that want to offer support hoping that you'll still fail.

[Shelby]

Right? That's a real. Yeah, I like this.

[Andy Frisella]

That's a real thing, dude. Yeah, so. So you'll get a lot of engagement on something like that.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And then what happens is those people are like, holy, look at all the engagement I got. So then dopamine hit. Huh?

[Shelby]

Dopamine hit.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Well, they'll say, well, that worked. Quote, unquote. That worked. Well, what does working actually mean? It means you're rewarded on the Internet with meaningless because you've told a story one time. All right? But here's the dangerous part, because they say, oh, I. It worked. And they're looking at it as like a game to win versus a game to authentically share who they are or benefit people or this or that. They'll tell that story again, okay? And then that story will get a lot of engagement again. And, you know, there'll be two or three posts in between, and they'll tell a sad story, and then they'll start telling it more often, more often and more often and more often and more often. And what ends up happening is they unintentionally create this jail around their mindset that they are a victim, essentially convincing themselves that they are a poor little me that can do nothing about what it is, and they are unwilling to change it because that's what gets rewarded on the Internet. Okay? So now think about how that damages someone in real life. So you have someone who's. Who's understanding that life is just life. And we go through hard periods, and we go through good periods, and then they tell that first story, right? And then they tell it again, and then tell it again, and they tell it again. And pretty soon, the perception that life is made of good and a little bit of bad becomes life is made of a lot of bad and sometimes good, okay? And we all know these people. We watch them on the Internet. How many of these people that we know on the Internet constantly complain, constantly cry, moan, talk about this thing or that thing or this thing they went through or that thing they went through or this or that or this. And they don't understand that they're actually convincing themselves that they are a victim that cannot overcome these things. And there is nothing noble about wallowing in your sad story. Every out there has a sad story. Every. And a lot of them are a lot worse than yours. And the people with the saddest stories don't talk about them all the time because they're so bad they don't want to remind themselves of it, all right? But these people now become victims of their own stories where they cannot break out of it, and they see the world in a different way that is psychologically damaging, all right? That ruins people's lives. It's no different than these therapists that legitimately are predatory in terms of convincing everybody that they need to heal their entire life. And, oh, by the way, to heal, you need to join my community and buy my book and buy my program, right? What incentive does that person have to actually help people get any better? And are we supposed to spend our whole life, the. The first 20 years of our life living life, and then the. The next 80 trying to heal from it? Get the out of here, dude. Life is life. Good shit's going to happen. Bad shit's going to happen. We're going to get our ass kicked. We're also going to have times in the sun where the sun is shining and everything is right. That is what life is about. And we learn the lessons from the bad, we overcome them, and we inspire other people to overcome them. That is what the this is about. It's not about convincing people that they're broken and that they need to pay you for a solution for their whole life. That is the most predatory shit going on the Internet right now. Now, I'm not saying there are some really good therapists, because there are, but I'm also going to say not everybody fucking needs therapy, okay? Not everybody needs to have, you know, this Kumbaya. Yes. Like, bro, it disgusts me how. How some of these therapists psychologically brainwash people into believing that they're fucking victims of something that happened when they were 8 years old.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. You can't control what happens to you when you're eight years old, man. And it. The more you relive it your entire life, the worse you're going to feel. At some point, you're going to have to let the go and be like,

[Shelby]

hey,

[Andy Frisella]

fucking it happened. It is what it is. This is what I learned. And you move the fuck on, man.

[Shelby]

Yeah, dude. I think a general safe rule. Let me know if you agree. But it's like, if you're going to cry over spilled milk in a video, cool. The next video needs to be you cleaning the up.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, bro. Instead. Instead of yeah, bro. If you're gonna share. If you're gonna share your hardships, make sure that you're sharing how you overcame it, too. That actually serves people. That's noble. Yeah. Okay. Because we all do have hard times, and there's a lot of people that are having hard times that are similar to the ones that we might be going through. But if we just get on there and cry about it all the time, all we're doing is confirming to them that they can't overcome it either.

[Shelby]

Don't get better then.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, like, dude, that's terrible. So, you know, but that's the nature of the Internet. The nature of the Internet is that it rewards performative action. And because it rewards performative action, a lot of people never figure out who they actually are and what they actually want because they're doing things for strangers on the Internet just to get attention. So it's. It's. It's kind of up, man.

[Shelby]

It is.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, like, dude, what you do on your social media is your business for sure. But, like, be, be careful. You're not falling into this trap of Performative culture. And you know what the irony is is the. That don't perform and just say what the they think are the ones that are successful at social anyway.

[Shelby]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Because everybody's trying to perform.

[Shelby]

So weird, isn't it?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, you know, like I was talking to my buddy who's he. He. He runs a personal brand consulting agency. He's good at it. He's built some big people. This is one of the guys that's actually done this. And we were laughing back and forth the other day and it's like, bro, how many of these people want to have a quote unquote personal brand but they've never literally done anything. Never done anything. But you think you're going to get a microphone and say some that someone else who's done has already said 50 times and somehow you're going to become that too. What's your story? What have you done? What have you built? You want to have a great personal brand, either tell people what the you actually built or document the process of building it and they'll follow you along the way. But like, dude, you don't just get to have people listen to you because you go out and buy a thousand dollars worth of podcast equipment and sit in front of a microphone. No one gives a bro they care about why you're credible. So go out and build some and then talk about it or share the process. That's interesting. I like watching people build their businesses online. That's interesting. Like the little kid we featured on CTI doing the. The trash can cleans. Yeah, that's cool.

[Shelby]

He's gonna kill it.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. Like it's cool watching people build their business online. Now I will say this. There's a lot of morons online even that have some decent sized businesses that get on there and disclose every single decision that they're making, not realizing that everybody else is watching and they're like, okay, well, you know, and stealing or fucking manipulate. Like, you got to be careful what you share.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, in reason.

[Shelby]

So you have to share within reason.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. This dude sharing his fucking whole game plan. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? This is a fudgeing war, bro.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm not going to share with you where the fuck I'm going.

[Shelby]

Yeah. About to run until.

[Andy Frisella]

Until I'm already there and then I can say, oh, this is how we got. You know what I'm saying?

[Shelby]

Like, that's right. Hell yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't know. I think people, dude, real talk. I dude. And I'm not trying to discourage anybody. I shouldn't even say this, but it's just the truth. It's just entrepreneurship has gotten so blown up and glorified that there's a lot of people that think they should be entrepreneurs that just shouldn't be. And there's a lot of people out there to say everybody can be an entrepreneur and not everybody can. It takes a certain type of person to do it. It takes. If you want to be good at it, it takes a certain kind of person. Everybody can have a side hustle, Everybody can open up a fucking drop shipping thing or to Amazon or whatever, right? But if you're going to build a real thing, dude, you have to be obsessed with it. You have to be obsessed. You have to be relentless. You have to like, literally be 100% committed, because everybody else that's. That's competing with you is. And if you're not, you're going to lose. And you still might lose because they might be better than you. So it's just like, it's like the most competitive thing in the world that people and. And, And I don't know. Like, it's weird to me because, like, the, the paradox of it is, like, it's the most competitive thing in the world that people think is like the easiest thing in the world. It's like, what the. Dude. And that comes from the Internet.

[Shelby]

Table tennis dog.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. It's not casual. There's nothing casual about winning, bro.

[Shelby]

Anyway, I love it, man. Well, guys. Andy, that was three.

[Andy Frisella]

Yep. All right, don't be a hoe.

[Shelby]

Share the show. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow a stove Counted millions in a cold bad

[Andy Frisella]

booted swole Got her own bank roll

[Shelby]

can't fold that's a no head shot case. Close.