1051. Q&AF: Trusting The Process, Navigating No Man's Land & Building An Empire

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Episode 1051: Q&AF: Trusting The Process, Navigating No Man's Land & Building An Empire
Date: August 3, 2026
Host: Andy Frisella
Guest: Ed Mylett
Length: ~43 minutes

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Episode Overview

In this Q&AF segment, Andy Frisella and Ed Mylett field listener questions about personal growth, business, and navigating the sometimes lonely road to success. Topics include how to trust “the process” on the journey to mastery, making it through the lonely “no man’s land” when outgrowing your old friend group, and actionable advice for a barber looking to build a business empire. The episode is packed with tough love, actionable strategies, and the no-BS, straight-talking inspiration Andy’s show is known for.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trusting the Process (Tyler, 22-year-old aspiring orchestral trombonist)

[09:10–20:54]

Main Insight

Success in any field—whether business or orchestral music—is less about talent and more about relentless daily effort compounded over time.

• The frustration of slow progress is a positive sign; it means you care and have a winner’s mentality.
• "Aggressive patience" is essential: combine urgent daily action with acceptance that real results take years or decades.
• Winners keep grinding through highs and lows; their consistent effort, not “fairness” or circumstance, creates their success.

Notable Quotes

• “The fact that you are frustrated...that’s a great thing. Most people are the opposite. They think it's just going to happen.” — Andy [10:16]
• “Winners are constantly frustrated, constantly pushing, constantly questioning if they’re doing enough.” — Andy [10:38]
• “It’s the result of the actions you take on a daily basis compounded over time.” — Andy [15:57]
• "It doesn't matter what anybody else is doing. It matters what you're doing." — Andy [18:51]
• "You have to be obsessed. It can't be an afterthought...You have to want it more than anything. If you are obsessed and you are willing to do whatever the fuck it takes, there’s nothing you can’t do.” — Andy [20:17]

Memorable Moment

Andy gives a passionate rundown on how unfairness and comparison are the enemy of achievement, stating that those who fixate on not having an advantage will just talk themselves out of taking action.
[16:04–18:51]

Analogy

Ed compares success to farming: “You plant the seed, you know you watered it—it might not sprout in five days, but you gotta keep tending to it.” [15:18]

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2. Navigating “No Man’s Land” in Personal Growth (Unnamed Caller)

[21:10–31:38]

Main Insight

When you level up in life and business, you often outgrow your original friends and find yourself in "no man’s land"—a lonely period between old and new circles.

• It’s normal to feel unsupported by friends who are on different paths; don't expect them to get it or cheer for you.
• Sharing your wins with your former group often feels like bragging to them.
• The key is not shrinking yourself to fit in. Eventually, you’ll find or attract a new community of like-minded people who get it and support you.

Notable Quotes

• “Why do you need the approval of people that aren’t on the same path?” — Andy [22:23]
• “When you’re actually telling people what is going on in your life and they perceive it as bragging, you’re doing all right.” — Andy [24:49]
• "Winners root for people. Winners want people to win. What you're identifying is your old friend group is not made of winners, it's made of losers, which should make you even happier." — Andy [27:54]

Memorable Moment

Andy describes his own experience of being accused of bragging by friends after finally finding success, realizing he’d simply outgrown that group and needed to build new connections. [24:09–25:00]

Tactical Advice

• Seek out groups where successful and ambitious people gather, whether via business networks, entrepreneur groups, or places with pay-to-play memberships.
• Intentional community building is easier now due to social media; leverage it to find your tribe.

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3. Building an Empire: Advice to a Young Barber (Jalen, 25-year-old barber)

[31:42–42:46]

Main Insight

Scaling your business from barber to entrepreneur requires vision, premium service, personal branding, and leveraging digital tools.

• Andy endorses Jalen’s plan to move from being a great barber to running a suite rental business and ultimately franchising—but suggests adding a consumer product (CPG) line as an additional revenue stream.
• Don’t lower your prices—price hesitation is often internal, not from the market. Deliver a superior customer experience to justify and support higher rates.

Notable Quotes

• “That price objection is your price objection. That is not their price objection. That is yours.” — Andy [33:23]
• “A haircut’s a haircut...I’m paying for the relationship and the experience.” — Andy [35:45]
• “You need to lose the idea that somehow becoming famous on the internet is something that is not cool… It can only accelerate your dreams.” — Andy [36:41]
• “If your goals are really your goals, why wouldn’t you do everything required to get to the goal?” — Andy [41:31]

Memorable Moments

• Andy pushes hard for building a personal brand—using social media as a "chainsaw" versus an "axe"—to leapfrog years of slower, traditional business-building. [40:44–42:22]
• Advice to get creative with customer experience and to look at successful barbers who built content platforms: “Why couldn't you do theirs and yours?” [36:41]

Practical Strategy

• Add an exclusive line of personal care products attached to your shop/business.
• Focus on delivering an experience so good people want to tell others.
• Start building a personal brand online—do it your way, but don’t neglect it.

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Memorable Quotes & Highlights

• “Fair is a word that people use when shit doesn’t go the way they want it to go.” — Andy [18:51]
• “Winners...do the same actions with the same level of intensity every single day, regardless of how they’re feeling.” — Andy [13:26]
• “Social media is the chainsaw...use it, bro. You can jump years ahead.” — Ed [40:44]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [09:10] Trusting the Process (Tyler’s Question)
• [15:18] Success Is an Equation Analogy
• [21:10] Navigating "No Man's Land"
• [24:09] Experience of Outgrowing Friends
• [27:54] Roots of Winning vs. Losing Circles, Finding New Community
• [31:42] Barbering to Business Empire (Jalen’s Question)
• [33:23] Price Objection Is Your Own Objection
• [35:45] Value of Experience Over Commodity Service
• [36:41] The Value of Building a Personal Brand
• [40:44] Social Media as Accelerant for Success

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Tone and Style

Andy and Ed deliver direct, sometimes harsh truths—but always grounded in a desire to help listeners win at life and business. The tone is no-nonsense, motivational, occasionally irreverent, and always real.

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Takeaways

• Obsession, consistency, and "aggressive patience" are the keys to greatness in any field.
• Don’t expect support or understanding from those not on your journey—outgrowing circles is normal and necessary for progress.
• Build your personal brand and leverage every available tool, including social media, to accelerate your business ambitions.

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For more detailed advice and inspiration, listen to the full episode or submit your own question for Andy and Ed to tackle. And as they like to say:
“Don’t be a hoe. Share the show.”

Transcript

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad

[Andy Frisella]

booted swole Got her own bank roll

[Ed Mylett]

can't fold Just a no head shot case Cloak, cloak, cloak.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A, F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ is going to tell you how you could submit your questions to be answered on the show.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, guys, you can email your questions into askandy andy4.com you can also click the links in the description below right here and submit your videos, which has to be answered or just drop them simply in the comment section of the Q and A of videos on YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Now, before we get started, if you're new, we have shows within the show. Okay? Tomorrow you're going to hear cti. That stands for Cruise the Internet. This is where we put topics on the screen. We kind of evaluate what's going on in the world. We speculate, we laugh, we make some jokes, but then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. All right? Then we're going to have real talk. Real talks. 5, 20 minutes, me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 hard verses. That is where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, how they use the 75 Hard program to change their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever. You can get that for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. 208 on the audio feed? It's not on YouTube. There's also a book. The book is called the Book on Mental Toughness. I know it's super creative, but you can get that [e-mail] it is not free, but it includes the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of other information on mental toughness, why it's important, how to cultivate it and use it in your life.

[DJ]

All right?

[Andy Frisella]

One thing about our show that's different from every other show on the Internet is that we do not run ads. We are actually the largest show in the world that doesn't run ads. And we don't run ads because I Don't want to be told what I can and can't say. This is called real. It's not called for sale. All right, so we only grow if you guys share the show, all right? So if you don't share the show, we don't grow the show. So we have a little ask of you. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. It's something that you think people need to hear. Do us a favor and share it out. When you see the short form clips, do us a favor. Share those out. That helps us grow the show, okay? So don't be a hoe.

[Ed Mylett]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, what's up?

[Ed Mylett]

It's actually selfish when you think about it, right? Like, they're keeping all the good information and the laughs and the jokes to themselves. They don't want to. It's kind of selfish if you ask me. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Sorry. I had to get my. I had to get my. My energy juice here. Yeah, I do think it's selfish.

[Ed Mylett]

It's selfish. You know what I'm saying? They just want all the laughs to themselves.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, you know, hey, it's not just that. It's like, hey, you. Do you want people to get better? Do you want soc get better? Do you want culture to get better? Then everybody has to get better.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, no, I. I just want to get better. I'm not sure.

[Andy Frisella]

So, you know, and it is what it is, man. You know, the truth of the matter is, is we would be the biggest show in the world if everybody paid the fee, so pay the fee.

[Ed Mylett]

Selfish whores.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, some of them.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

What's going on, man? Oh.

[Ed Mylett]

How you doing?

[Andy Frisella]

Good.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, Good. Looking good.

[Andy Frisella]

Thank you.

[Ed Mylett]

Feeling good?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

Sip it. I. I didn't mean.

[Andy Frisella]

That was a little weird, bro. I don't care what anybody says. This is the best flavor, bro. I don't give a what anybody says, bro. Well, of course you like that. Yeah, orange is good, too, bro, but I'm a screaming freedom, dude.

[Ed Mylett]

It's been a minute since I've had a watermelon, mainly because I couldn't find none cold. Yeah, y' all chill. I couldn't find none cold, man, but they. Somebody just put a cooler out there. I guess they're free. I don't know. I just took it.

[Andy Frisella]

They're free for you.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

All right. Yeah, yeah, it's great, guys.

[Andy Frisella]

We got.

[Ed Mylett]

We got. We got some really good, man.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm. I'm telling you, dude. This is this is the best one.

[Ed Mylett]

But I almost died earlier. I'm not gonna lie. That's why I had to get an energy drink. Like, usually, like, you know, this is like the. This is about the latest you can. I can do in a day. You know what I'm saying? You gotta be careful. But I. I needed it. Yeah, I needed this. Almost died.

[Andy Frisella]

It's Bomb Pop.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah. You like those Bomb Pops?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro, who doesn't like Bomb Pops? Like, when you're a kid and the ice cream dude came by, man, Bomb Pops. Where it's at the red, white and blue.

[Ed Mylett]

How much were Bomb Pops when you were a kid? I don't know.

[Andy Frisella]

I didn't pay for them.

[Ed Mylett]

Did you steal them?

[Andy Frisella]

No, but, like, I mean, you saw the stickers. No, they were like a quarter. Yeah, they were five cents, bro. Is that what you want me to say? They were a nickel? Yeah, they were like. They were like 50 cents, bro.

[Ed Mylett]

Those things are like $7 now.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, well, that's inflation.

[Ed Mylett]

It's. Dude, like, bro, I, I. The ice cream man drove by a crib. Not too long. I'm like, no, keep that moving, dog.

[Andy Frisella]

Bro, I love. Dude, I love when I can hear the ice cream. Ice cream truck. Even if I don't even get ice cream. I'm like, man, it's like nostalgia.

[Ed Mylett]

It' nostalgia. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I love that they still do it.

[Ed Mylett]

What was the ice cream truck we had? Mr. Softies. Did you guys have those rolling around?

[Andy Frisella]

I don't remember what they were called. They all look the same to me.

[Ed Mylett]

You know what I'm talking about? Mr. Softies. It was always, like, an Arab dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm serious, I'm serious. It was always an Arab guy selling ice cream to little black kids.

[Andy Frisella]

It was great.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, it was great. Good times.

[Andy Frisella]

I fucking. I love the ice cream truck, bro.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, no, it's good shit.

[Andy Frisella]

I love the music that it plays like something. It's like, relaxing.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, we know something fucked up. This is a God honest truth story right now, okay? This is how fucked up where I grew up. At one time, a police officer drove through our neighborhood playing that on the speaker to get all the kids. He started locking their ass up.

[Andy Frisella]

I swear to God. I swear to God.

[Ed Mylett]

All the black kids running out, bro, he's already chasing them, man. That's up.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, man, what'd they do? They probably stealing some. They probably held up the ice cream truck and they're like, here's another one.

[Ed Mylett]

No, they are. They like, bro, some badass kids. Where I grew up, but they definitely did something bad. But yeah, he started playing on his little loud system. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

God, I love that.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh, good times, man.

[Andy Frisella]

That is such a good drink.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, it is, but yeah, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Guys, oh, I got some great news. When it comes to the drink.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay.

[Andy Frisella]

I finally got what I've always wanted. Blue Blitz is being discontinued.

[Ed Mylett]

Such a hater.

[Andy Frisella]

The worst flavor of our entire line is finally being removed of our core four, and it's going to be replaced by Silver Lightning, which is the appropriate move.

[Ed Mylett]

It's a good move. It's a good move.

[Andy Frisella]

It's the appropriate move.

[Ed Mylett]

A lot of people.

[Andy Frisella]

Only peasants. Like, the Blue Blues for peasants and weird ass kids, bro. We didn't have blue growing up. Like, it was like a. It came after, like my generation. Everything was like grape, orange, red. And then all of a sudden, Kool Aid came out with like, blue.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And then it became a thing and like, dude, it just never sat right with me. So this feels that blue.

[Ed Mylett]

It feels personal.

[Andy Frisella]

It. I'm glad, bro. I found that out and I was so happy.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm like, finally, dude, you can't argue that Silver Lightning is far superior.

[Ed Mylett]

No, I'm not. No, I'm not arguing that.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. It's way better. I mean, I don't.

[Ed Mylett]

I wouldn't. I'm not like at the point, like, yeah, Blue Blitz, it needs to be discontinued. Like, it's a good. It's a good flavor.

[Andy Frisella]

No, it's not.

[Ed Mylett]

Maybe not core.

[Andy Frisella]

It's the best blue flavor of any of the other flavors of any company. But like, it's still Blue Blitz.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Is Blue Blitz.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Anyway, that's good news.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh, my God.

[Andy Frisella]

You can tell I was excited about that.

[Ed Mylett]

I mean, listen, you gotta get it out.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

But it's Monday and we have to make some people better today. Yeah. All right, now, guys, we told you it was coming back. We're here and we got some really cool submissions coming your way. So let's just get into it, guys. Andy, our first submission.

[Tyler]

Hi, Mr. Frisella. My name is Tyler. I am a 22 year old aspiring orchestral based trombonist. My question for you is how do you trust the process? This is something that a lot of my mentors, a lot of my teachers tell me. Always trust the process. To be patient. For me, my own experience. I want to win an orchestra job so bad and I want to. I just want it so bad. But the problem, you know, during the process, you know, I I get very frustrated with myself sometimes, especially when I'm practicing and I'm having some difficulty with certain things. It's very. I get very frustrated and I go through these ups and downs periodically and there are times where I'm. Where I do trust the process and there are times where I don't trust the process. You know, how do you trust the work that you're doing now will pay off in 10, 20, 20 years, years from now?

[Andy Frisella]

That's a great question. You know, and I think a lot of people struggle with that. I actually like the fact that it's such a. The context of the question has to do with joining an orchestra, not just building a business, because this concept is applicable to anything that you want to be great. Okay, now let me say this to start. The fact that you are frustrated, the fact that you get mad when things aren't moving fast enough, that's a great thing, okay? Because most people are the opposite. They're lazy. They think it's just going to happen. They think that it's just going to pan out and things are going to be okay. And guess what? They're not. That's the reality of winning. It is not going to be okay unless you force it to be okay. And that is the biggest misconception when, when it comes to the idea of patience that we could possibly have. Okay? So to answer your question, before I answer your question, you have the right mentality. That is the right mentality of a winner. Okay? Winners are constantly frustrated, they're constantly pushing, they're constantly questioning if they're doing enough. Losers are the people who automatically assume that they are doing enough. Okay? Winners always think there's more to do and that they have to go harder. Losers think they've done enough work. That's the. There's a big difference between that mentality. Okay? So the mentality that you have as a young man saying I want this and I want this now and I want it more than anything is exactly the mentality that you have to have to become great. It's exactly the mentality. Now let's talk about reality. Okay? For you to become great at anything, you have to put in the work and the time. The compounds over that process is always going to be part of the recipe. You can't just go hard for two or three days or four days and then say, oh well, I put in the work. This. We're talking about years and decades. And just like he said, how do I know it's going to pay off 10 years from now, 20 years from now, you don't know unless you make it pay off. That's the point. Okay? So you have to force your dreams into reality through relentless daily actions that move you forward. All right? And even with that aggressiveness, the daily actions, the daily practice, the. The daily, you know, learning and applying the lessons, it's still going to take time. And this is the concept that I talk about all the time called aggressive patience. Okay? You got. When most people hear, you got to be patient and things will work out, they hear, patience. As I'm going to put my feet up on the desk, I'm going to do a little bit of work. I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to, you know, and eventually it'll be my time, right? Not accurate. You will lose. You will lose that way, okay? You have to go intense with urgency and, like, discipline every single day. And then you have to understand that it's still going to take time, and that's where the patience comes in. So we're going to be aggressive on our daily actions. We're going to be aggressive with, you know, our pursuit of becoming great. We're going to be relentless. And yes, dude, you're going to get frustrated. You're going to get, you know, you're going to go through peaks where you have this. You're like, yeah, I'm killing it. Everything's going good. I'm definitely going to make it. And then things didn't happen fast enough, so you're like, it's not going to work. I. I'm probably wasting all my time. Real winners that become great, they push through all that and they ignore how they feel on the day. The days they feel great, they go hard. On the days they feel low on the. They go hard, and they just understand and quote, unquote, trust that that process will lead to where they want to go. And guess what? It will. The reason that it doesn't for other people is because on the days they feel like they're killing it, they'll. They'll do everything that they can do, right? On the days where they're frustrated, they'll like, you know, this, and they'll take a day off, right? People who become great do the same actions with the same level of intensity every single day, regardless of how they're feeling. So for this young man, your key is to never lose that drive and that hunger. And you shouldn't look at that frustration as a negative thing. I look at that as somebody who cares a lot about what it is they want to do. And the fact that you feel that way is a great sign that you will get where you want to go as long as, as you don't let the emotional highs and lows affect what you do on a daily basis in terms of you practicing your craft to become great at it.

[Ed Mylett]

And I love this question too, because as you said, it's applicable. Great question to literally anything. Right. Like, I mean, obviously a lot of people listen to you for your business advice and your entrepreneurship advice. Right? But I mean, whether you want to be a fucking. The best trombonist that has ever existed. Success. And you've said it before, in a way, it's an equation. Yeah, it's a fucking equation. I think I've struggled with the time variable of that equation also. But like, it makes me. It's like farming, right? Like you, if you plant the seed and you fucking watered it, you know you watered it, you know you planted it, it might not sprout in fucking five days, but you got to keep fucking tending to it and eventually you'll have fucking something. Yeah, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

Talk about that equation of success.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, it's, it's very simple. It's the, it's the result of the actions that you take on a daily basis compounded over time.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. Depending on where you start and how skilled you are in the beginning and what maybe your natural talents might be, that's different for everybody. Okay? But what lets people become great is understanding that it is not about their natural talents. It is not about where they started. It is not about the advantages that someone may or may not have in the beginning, is about what they are willing to do on a day by day by day basis over the course of time. So for someone who starts out a little bit ahead, they might have less time to go than you. So what? So what? Okay, we hear this in business all the time. Well, this person, they started on third base and they, they thought they hit a triple. Yeah, so what? That ain't you. You did it. So you're going to have to do a little more fucking work. It's going to take a little more time. What are you going to do? Not do what it is, you know you want to do in your whole life, the thing you desire more than anything because it takes you more time than the next guy. The fuck are you talking about? Okay, it is going to take more time for some people than it takes other people. And that is not an excuse for someone to just punt and say, oh, well, they had an advantage that I didn't have. Who fucking cares, bro? What are we talking about? Like, think of this kid was like, well, you know, I want to be in the orchestra, and I want to be this. I want this more than anything. But Tommy down the street, he grew up playing since he was 3, so he has 20 more years of experience on me. So I'm just going to fucking quit, okay? Like that? That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. We hear this in business all the time. Well, this guy had rich parents. This guy got investors. This guy grew up in this kind of environment. This guy did that. So what, you're going to fucking punt your entire life because someone else started out a little bit more ahead of you? That makes no sense. And. And honestly, people who quit for that reasons never had it in the first place. They never had it in the first place. So it's kind of a moot point. But it does annoy the shit out of me because it's like, dude, what are you talking about? Oh, so you had to start. You grew up in a bad neighborhood, you were poor, you had shitty parents, but you still have this dream. So you're going to quit because of what happened in the past or the circumstances that you were born into. Like, that doesn't even make sense, bro. And so much so. So many people quit because they spend so much time analyzing the advantage or disadvantages or the quote, unquote fairness of what someone else's situation is that they totally obliterate their own chance of success.

[Ed Mylett]

Success.

[Andy Frisella]

Guess what? It's not fair. It's never gonna be fair. Fair is a word that people use when shit doesn't go the way they want it to go. That is what fair's about. You have to understand that every single person that ever built anything in the history of Earth understands that fair is not an element of the equation. It doesn't matter. Some people are going to have to do more. Some people are going to have to go harder. Some people are going to have to go longer. But if you're willing to do whatever the it takes, you can get where you want to go. That's the reality. Okay? So let's be real about this. It doesn't matter what anybody else is doing. It matters what you're doing. And it matters how good you do it. And it matters how consistent you do it. And it matters how long you do it to allow those things to compound over time. And by the way, if you want a system that actually does this for you, you can join Operator Standard and we've built this with technology to where literally, if you put in your goal, it will backtrack to the daily tasks that you need to do to become great. If you follow the play, you can't lose, period. Okay. And it does it for you. It's going to totally reprogram your idea of what winning is and take all the guesswork out of it. So, anyway, I love the question, but more than the question, I love this kid's mentality, bro. That hunger, you could feel it through his video.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, he said, I want it more than anything. That is the level that it takes. You have to want it more than anything. You have to be obsessed with it. That is the reality of, of high level achievement. It's not casual, it's not fun. It's all the time. It's fun, it's fun. But dude, you have to be obsessed. It can't be an afterthought. It can't be a maybe. It can't be a well, this would be nice. It has to be an obsession. And if you are obsessed and you are willing to do whatever the fuck it takes, there's nothing that you can't do.

[Tyler]

That's real, man.

[Ed Mylett]

That's real. Fucking love it, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Guys, great, great question.

[Ed Mylett]

Great question. Submit these questions in the link down below if you want to be featured on the show as well. Guys, they don't all have to be video either. You just submit audio like this. Next question. Let's check it out.

[Unnamed Caller]

Hi, Andy. My question is, how do you navigate no Man's land? I'm at a place in my life where I feel really good about what I'm doing and what I'm building, but I definitely feel like I'm not connected to any particular circle. I feel like the friends that I've had in the past, which, again, I don't necessarily need to bring them into every aspect of my life, but there's definitely a part of me that feels like they don't care or support anything that I'm doing. Whereas I feel like when they're trying to grow and do their thing, you know, I'm like right on the sideline clapping. I don't know, it's a weird place to be. I, I, I think maybe also I'm overthinking it a little bit and that most people are just, you know, wrapped up in their own lives and doing their own thing. But it certainly does feel like the people in my circle sometimes are the ones that I want them. I want their feedback. I Want their. Not their permission or anything like that, but you know, you want their support and sometimes you feel like you don't have it.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay?

[Andy Frisella]

Why do you need the approval of people that aren't on the same path as you? That's the first question you should ask yourself.

[Ed Mylett]

How can they.

[Andy Frisella]

What you're asking is for people that will never understand what it is you're trying to do or why you're trying to do it, to support you in doing so. They do not understand why the you're doing it. And if you don't understand why someone's doing something, you don't understand what they're doing. And you're not on the same path. It's kind of hard to support it because you don't even know where to support it, right? Okay. Secondly, this is normal, okay? We've discussed this so many times, clearly, you know, because I have a name for it called no man's Land. And for those of you that don't know, it is a very simple concept when you start out on your path to success. You've got your friends. You've got these friends that you met coincidentally through school or through your neighborhood or maybe they're your cousins, I don't know. But you were born through your circumstances into this friend group. Some way shape or form, okay, you went, then you went to college with some people, okay? So you got the college group and the high school group and the fucking. Now you're trying to go out and become something more. 99 of those people are going to stay exactly where the they are their entire lives. And if they do try to change, they're not going to try to change the exact same time that you're going to try to change. So there's a gap in relating that happens to every single person that goes down this path. I remember when I first noticed this in my life, when I first noticed this in my life, I was about 12 years in the business, okay? And I was at dinner with a friend and we were. It was him and his wife. And he asked me what was going on with my business. And I told him, I said, we got a lot of good. Like at this time, we had a lot of good going on because we had just turned the corner from not making any money and to making pretty good money. And I told him, okay. I said, it's going great. We're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing this. And then after I left the dinner, everything was fine. And then like two Days later, I got this text from him that was like, bro, I love, I love you, but, like, you got to really work on your bragging. And I'm like, the you talking about. And he's like telling me how, you know, he's like, you know how you were telling us this and that and that? I said, well, that you asked. That's what's going on in my life.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, okay, you asked me.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes. But you gotta understand that when everybody else stays in the same place and you start to progress and then they ask you and you tell them, they perceive that as bragging. Okay. And this is a good thing, by the way, because when you're actually telling people what is actually going on in your life and they perceive it as bragging, you're doing all right. All right. But the point is, is that I realized at that point that I had outgrown this group of friends. So I went through this period of not really having anybody to hang out with. And, you know, I didn't. They social media was kind of just getting going. You know, it wasn't like you were connecting with other entrepreneurs. You were more so connecting with more people from the past. And it was lonely. And it was like, well, who the do I hang out with? And then organically, you know, I met this one person who was also in business, and then I met another person, and then I met another person and we started getting together and I developed this new group of friends. But that gap in between your old group and your next group is what we call no Man's Land. You're confused. You don't get it. And the problem with no Man's Land, especially the first time you go through it, because you're going to go through it multiple times throughout your life, is that because you've never been through it, you feel very out of sorts. And of most people will start to listen to that original friend group about like, oh, you're getting too big for your britches. You're not humble anymore. You're not this, you know, you're bragging. And they will literally shrink themselves and just go right back to the old friend group and sacrifice all their dreams, okay? But once you find that new group, here's the cool thing. Now you've got shit in common with people. Now, you could openly share successes and nobody thinks anything of it, okay? And not only that, these people will contribute to you actually becoming successful. So they will say, hey, I know a guy that does this, or I know a person does that, or I've got This connection. I've got that. Or let me help you with this, okay? And then as you progress and you, if you keep going, you will probably outgrow a lot of those people. But a bigger percentage of Those people, like zero at first, 30% of these people will continue on the path with you. So you'll be able to maintain that friendship more with some of those people down the path. But then you'll go through another no man's land, and the second no man's land. Instead of you having, you know, nobody, you'll have two or three. Okay? And then you'll get to the third version, which is like, now you're scaled up even more, okay? And that's the path of an entrepreneur. You were going to go through times where you cannot relate to anyone. And to this lady's question, you are expecting things that are unrealistic. You, you have expectations on them, okay? You say, well, I cheer for them, they don't cheer for me. Well, maybe you're a fucking nicer person than them. Maybe that's why you're winning and they're losing. Maybe the reason that you're moving down the path is because you're acting like a normal human being and they're being a bunch of jealous little pussies, okay? So winners root for people, winners want people to win. And what you're identifying is, is that your old friend group is not made of winners, it's made of losers, which should make you even happier to get the fuck away from them. So, like, you know. Yeah, dude, to answer your question, this is part of it. I think, yes, you're overthinking of it. I think you should definitely not be worried about trying to win over the approval of people that can't even like, comprehend what you're trying to do. And you should keep your head down and let the, the, let it play out. And the cool thing about today's day and age is that you can actually intentionally go out and seek out other communities of people who are on the same path. Those groups exist, okay? We have Arete Syndicate, Arte Syndicate. That's what that is. But it's much easier now whether you do that or not, it makes no difference to me. But it's much easier to find people that are of like mine now than it was pre Internet, okay? Or pre social media. Like, imagine you being in social media, but pre social media and trying to find a connect with other people who are on the same path as you. It's almost fucking impossible.

[Ed Mylett]

You don't even Know that you don't even know they exist.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, dude, you do, but like, you see their business and you're like, how do I get in contact with that guy? And then you got to go through all the gatekeeping to even get to that guy.

[Ed Mylett]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

And then there's other things, like doing high value things where there's a barrier of entry to get in. You know, there's a reason why country clubs cost, you know, 100 grand to get the in because it keeps people who can't afford it out. Okay? And then the people who are in are the kind of people. Now, I'm not saying a country club, but there's all kinds of clubs like that. There's country clubs, there's cigar clubs, there's. There's entrepreneur groups. These things cost a lot of money because they want the other people to not be in there, right? So places where you can pay to be a part of a different or higher group, going to nicer restaurants, you know, being involved in things where there's a financial barrier that these people can't get into, that's where you're going to meet these other people. Like, do you think that all these people that pay, you know, a hundred thousand dollars to country clubs, do you think they're not doing.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, yeah, like they're doing that membership pays for itself, dude.

[Andy Frisella]

100 it does.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

A hundred percent it does, bro. I would highly. I mean, this is me tooting my own horn, but I. I would highly recommend joining Arte sitting because I'm gonna tell you right now, there's not another group out there anywhere where you're gonna get the education from two guys who have built, you know, what Ed and I have built in our lives. It's not real. Like, there's a lot of people who've done good on ecom. They sold info this, that, the other. That's fine. They've not actually are experts at running a company or starting from. We are the best in the world at what we do. And that group is the best in the world at taking entrepreneurs from nothing to something. We have like 12 people in the last five years that have gone from zero to nine figures.

[Ed Mylett]

That's incredible.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? Like, you want to be around fucking winners? I'd highly recommend you. You get in on that.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, 100%, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Look, I'm just going to say that too, dude. Like, I don't care what anybody says. We're the best in the fucking world at what we do. There's nobody that can do it better. There's nobody out there doing it better. We may not be the biggest. We don't fucking market it. Yeah, it's all word of mouth. Okay? So you don't see our ads and we don't run big ad budgets and this because we don't have to. Okay. In fact, we don't even do it for the money at all. We do it because it's, it's something that we want to do to help people actually improve. And we would do it for free except where we'd have a bunch of people in there that are knuckleheads, right?

[Ed Mylett]

So gotta have something.

[Andy Frisella]

It is what it is.

[Ed Mylett]

It's real. Let's check our next submission. All right, here we go.

[DJ]

What's up, guys? My name is jalen. I'm a 25 year old barber. Became a barber two years ago, had my son the same time grinding my ass off to make it work and luckily I've done so. My question for Andy is going to be a what would you do in my shoes? Kind of question. My goal is to become as successful as I can and create as much purpose as I can. A vision that came to me to accomplish that goal is to one, you know, be as successful with as with barbering as I can and then open up a salon suite business, which is basically a building with a bunch of rooms that people rent out to run their business out of. I want to add a component to that of education to help these people thrive in that setting. And then eventually later down the line we get to that point, these people can franchise out the sweet business and open up their own. My question is, what would you do in my shoes? What would be your game plan? What would be your route to make this happen? If there's any flaws in the goal or in the mindset, let me know. But there's a lot of barber gurus online trying to teach you how to make viral content and charge astronomical prices for haircuts. And that route just really hasn't worked for me all too well. The route that's worked for me since I graduated school was just old fashioned business. Just hand out as many cars as I can, talk to as many people as I can, give good service, things like that. I guess my doubt in my mind right now would be like back when I was charging $30 a haircut that seemed to work a lot better, and then now that I'm at a higher price point at 50 and 65, like maybe I doubt that that same blueprint may work the same and that I Would need to be this barber, celebrity or whatever to accomplish my goals. So what would you do in my shoes to accomplish the goals that I've set for myself and any other game you could give me. Appreciate you.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, man, there's a lot there. Okay. Number one, I love the fact that you've thought this out. Okay. I went to barber school. I'm become a good barber. I want to open up a salon. I'm going to rent out the spaces to other barbers. Then I'm going to franchise that business out across. Great plan. I would add something else to that. I would add a CPG line of personal care products that you can sell off of that brand along the way at some point in time. Okay. Because that is much faster in terms of creating revenue and brand equity for yourself than it would be just to do these spots. By the way, this is exactly what I've done. Okay. We started out in retail, we opened up retail, then we became a CPG company, scaled that out. Now retail is even growing faster. Okay. So they build off of each other. So I love the plan. I would add the idea of personal care products into it. Okay, now getting back to what it is that you were saying. Well, first of all, don't change your price. Do not go down. Okay? That price objection. That price objection. I wanted to hit on this before I got into the next thing. That price objection is your price objection. That is not their price objection. That is yours. You even said, I'm not sure if this is going to work. Which means you don't have data that says you're too cheap or too high. You're making it up, which means it's coming from your heart, which means you are thinking there will be an objection, when in reality there will not be an objection. As long as you do what you said you were going to do. Which the key piece and what he said he was going to do was making sure they had a great experience and making sure people told other people that is the key to what it is.

[Ed Mylett]

Now,

[Andy Frisella]

what can you do to create a better experience? What can you do that other barbers don't do? Can you offer them a drink? Can you offer them a smoke? Can you do something? I don't know what it is that you can do. Whatever you can do to create a non commodity experience. Okay? Because a haircut's a haircut, right? Why do we go get our haircut from the same person? It's because we like the person and we get a good experience. I can get the same haircut 5 million place. In fact. You've cut my hair. Yeah, yeah, a bunch of times.

[Ed Mylett]

I've done good.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm just saying. But the haircut isn't the thing you're paying for. I'm paying for the relationship and the experience, okay? So get your mind around that. What can I do that other people don't do on site, on premise that makes people tell other people to come to me? Nail that down now, okay? Because that doesn't cost anything. And if it does cost something, it's going to be cheap. Now getting back to the most important part of this, okay? Because I like all of that. I like the plan. I would add the cpg. I like the price point. Do not let your own fucking, you know, hang ups of your own financial situation or upbringing allow you to affect that. Because you're going to have to. You're going to need the profit to scale this out. The personal brand thing you seem to

[Ed Mylett]

have

[Andy Frisella]

and a negative attitude to, towards becoming a well known barber, okay? And when you talked about these barber gurus and this and that and this, bro, those guys have figured it out, understand that they have figured out how to become famous online by becoming great barbers and then they're selling how to become a great barber, which means there's none of this cost in between, okay? So they're fucking printing money, understand that? So they figured it out. And you're, you're saying that you don't like what they're doing. Well, they figured it out, bro, all right? They do this thing, they do it well, then they tell you how to do it well. All right, you need to lose the idea that somehow becoming famous on the Internet is something that is not cool or something that you don't want. It can only help you, it can only accelerate your dreams bigger. Now I think your play is better than their play because what you're creating is a product that not only generates cash flow, which is all they have, you're creating a product that has enterprise value backside. Meaning you can sell this for a lot of money in 20 years. So you're not cutting hair with your brack all out of place and your elbows all up.

[Ed Mylett]

Arthritis.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay? Right. Exactly, dude. So your plan is better and it's a much better long term plan than their plan. But why couldn't you do theirs and yours? Okay? And the reality of looking at you is you already have a look, okay? You speak well. Come up with a great angle that you can do that's different than everybody else, okay? Get to a Point where you are showing your cuts, you know, talking like, dude, there's this one guy, I can't think of his name. Vic. Vic.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh yeah, Vic Cuts. Yeah, Vic Cuts blends. Yep.

[Andy Frisella]

Dude, he figured it out. Okay, here's what he did. He created content where he goes up to random people and he'd say, hey, can I cut your hair? And they're like, yeah. And then he like talks to him for you and they. And then it becomes a piece of content. Okay? And by the way, it's great. Okay? But here, when Vic started, he was just doing random people. And I know he still does random people, but what happened was his brand got so big that now he's doing like celebrities. Okay, you want that? Because that's only going to help the other pieces of the puzzle. That's only going to help you rent out your studio more. It's only going to help you sell your CPG line more. What happens if you have 200, 300, 400,000 followers and you say, guys, I came up with this personal care products. Here's where you can get it. Okay, you have leverage then. So this personal brand aspect that you seem to have a resistance to is really going to cost you a lot of time and prop, maybe cost you your ability to even execute this other plan. Okay. So I can appreciate, because I'm the same, I prefer in person, I prefer that old school way. I like that. And by the way, it's great that you like it too because that's where people are starting to value things again. They're starting to value analog experiences. So. But you, you have to do it, dude. You have to build a personal brand. You've got to get creative in how you do it. And if you could figure out a way to do it that is a little bit different than what everybody else is doing, that's how you're going to start to get traction. And you may not get traction the first one or two years, but eventually you're going to have videos that are going to go and people are going to say, damn, this is cool. And where, where is this? And can I use this guy's products or can I stop into his place, wherever it is in Philadelphia and get a cut when I'm there? Right? Like, you can only win by creating that. So you need to drop this hesitation to go build that. You need to go fucking build it.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah. You know, on the leverage piece, I'm looking at this like the metaphor you use a lot of like the axe or the chainsaw. Like I Mean, the ax is always going to cut down the fucking trees. But social media being a chainsaw? Use that fucking, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

You can jump years ahead. Why do you think there's so many people out there that are 25 years old that are crushing it in business? It's because they had the ability and they use the technology to create a brand for themselves. Like, dude, if you're. If you're in business and you're trying to, like, avoid creating the brand, you're only doing yourself a disservice. You're only doing yourself a disservice. Okay? I don't know why you would do that. If your goals are really your goals, why wouldn't you do everything required to get to the goal?

[Ed Mylett]

Use every tool available.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, you'd be obsessed, bro. And so, like, that comes back to like the main point of what we talked about with the guy with the. The trombone, all right? You have to be obsessed. This is not casual. You don't get to pick and choose how hard you go, brother. You're at the beginning, okay? You better use every tool you have or you're not gonna make it. So this isn't like me politely suggesting. This is me telling you that you are not good enough to do it without that. Unless you want to spend double the time or triple the time. All right? So you have to fucking do it. Okay. And sometimes people like. Well, you don't post any content. No, contrary, I post more content than fucking anybody on the Internet. It's just long form content. Okay? I post how many hours of content a week? A fuck ton. Right? So it's just not the way you see it.

[Ed Mylett]

It's out there, baby.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro.

[Ed Mylett]

And you motherfuckers got to share it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's right.

[Ed Mylett]

That's right, man. Yeah, my guys. And that was three submissions.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

That's a hell of a good dude.

[Andy Frisella]

Those are good. See, send me your questions, bro. I'll answer them exactly. Like, I like this. Because now I like, like this last question. And that first question I can answer exactly to your scenario.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So send your in, dude.

[Ed Mylett]

Love it, man. Yeah, guys, links in the description below.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, guys, don't be a hoe.

[Ed Mylett]

Share the show. Whipple sleeping on the flow now My jury box froze fuck up, Bow. Fuck a stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her

[Andy Frisella]

own bank row can't fold just a

[Ed Mylett]

no head shot case close.