803. Q&AF: Dealing With A Bad Manager, Delegating Tasks & Being Honest With Your Child Athlete

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Episode 803

Title: Q&AF: Dealing With A Bad Manager, Delegating Tasks & Being Honest With Your Child Athlete
Host: Andy Frisella
Guest/Contributor: Co-host
Episode Description: In this episode, Andy Frisella addresses three pressing questions from listeners, offering no-nonsense advice on leadership, business delegation, and handling challenges in youth sports. Through candid discussions, Andy emphasizes personal responsibility, ethical entrepreneurship, and the importance of perseverance.

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1. Navigating Leadership Amidst Poor Management

Listener's Dilemma:
A young sales professional seeks guidance on how to ethically position himself for a sales manager role within his company, where the current manager is ineffective, and the owner remains unaware of the internal issues.

Andy's Advice:

• Lead Without a Title:
  "You don't have to have a title or a permission or acknowledgement to lead. Leading is something that leaders do on their own, regardless of what title they have." ([06:19])

• Demonstrate Unparalleled Performance:
  Andy urges the listener to excel in his role, producing results that are undeniable and surpassing company records.
  "Put up numbers that that company's never seen before ever, in the history of their company." ([07:00])

• Approach Ownership with Proven Results:
  Once significant achievements are made, approach the owner with concrete evidence of success to advocate for a leadership position.
  "If you can do what you say you can do, here's what I'd recommend putting up numbers... and then I'd recommend going to the owner himself and saying, hey, you see what I'm doing here?" ([09:00])

• Avoid Entitlement Mentality:
  Andy criticizes the entitlement often seen in younger professionals who expect rewards without proven performance.
  "If you pay me, I'd go do it. That's not how the it works." ([10:00])

Notable Quote:
"Put up or shut the fuck up. That's it. You're either putting it up, you're setting records, you're kicking ass and you're going to get paid more. Or you're coasting, you're bitching, you're whining, and you're going to be working at Taco Bell when you're 50 years old." ([10:30])

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2. Effective Delegation and Overcoming Leadership Ego in Small Businesses

Listener's Challenge:
A landscaping business owner is struggling to delegate tasks, feeling overwhelmed by day-to-day operations, and battling an ego that hinders effective leadership.

Andy's Guidance:

• Value Every Role:
  Recognize that every team member's role is crucial to the business's success.
  "Without them, you ain't. So you might as well help them feel real good about what they do and help them be great at that so they can progress." ([20:08])

• Attitude Adjustment Over Delegation:
  The core issue isn't just delegation but the leader's attitude towards the work and the team.
  "This is an attitude adjustment from someone who's clearly not ready to lead, that needs to make an adjustment and say, hey, I am not going to ask my people to do anything that I cannot do at a very high level." ([21:22])

• Lead by Example:
  Engage in all aspects of the business, even the menial tasks, to show commitment and humility.
  "Every single day I go to one of our trash bins and I fucking empty it. My job as the fucking founder... is to fucking make everybody else better." ([21:30])

• Ethical Entrepreneurship:
  Emphasize caring for employees and customers as the foundation of a successful business.
  "Ethical entrepreneurship is knowing that every single person that is around you deserves your best as a founder, owner, CEO, leader." ([24:46])

Notable Quote:
"Your job is to fucking make everybody else better. That's the job." ([21:40])

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3. Supporting Your Child Athlete Through Adversity

Listener's Concern:
A parent is distressed that his son, despite significant effort in football and other sports, is being sidelined in favor of another student with advantages rooted in favoritism and financial influence. The son is contemplating quitting all sports.

Andy's Perspective:

• Persevere Through Unfairness:
  Encourage the son to continue striving for excellence despite setbacks.
  "If you quit, you're going to quit everything hard in your life." ([27:48])

• Outwork the Competition:
  Emphasize that surpassing peers through hard work and dedication can overcome advantages like connections or financial backing.
  "You're getting your first taste of it here as a young man, which is actually a blessing in disguise. So my advice would be this. If you quit, you're going to quit everything hard in your life." ([28:00])

• Long-Term Commitment:
  Highlight the importance of long-term dedication and resilience in achieving goals.
  "A lot of winning has to do with us not quitting when everybody else quits. That's really it. It's a game of longevity." ([32:00])

• Real-World Lessons:
  Prepare the son for the inevitable challenges in life by teaching him to respond with strength and perseverance.
  "It just ain't fair. People with connections, people with money... We overcome that by being great." ([33:00])

Notable Quote:
"If you were my son, I wouldn't let you quit. That's it. My dad, I tried to quit when I was in high school because I didn't like the coach. You ain't quitting." ([29:36])

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Leadership is Action, Not a Title: True leaders emerge through their actions and the value they bring, not merely by holding a managerial title.

• Performance Drives Advancement: Demonstrating exceptional performance and tangible results is the most ethical and effective way to advance in any organization.

• Humility in Leadership: Successful entrepreneurs and leaders prioritize the growth and well-being of their team, recognizing that their success is intertwined with their employees' success.

• Perseverance Over Entitlement: Overcoming challenges requires relentless dedication and the willingness to push beyond perceived limits, rather than expecting rewards without effort.

• Ethical Standards in Business: Building a business grounded in ethical practices and genuine care for employees and customers lays a strong foundation for long-term success.

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Conclusion

In this episode of REAL AF with Andy Frisella, listeners receive straightforward and impactful advice on overcoming managerial challenges, effective delegation in small businesses, and supporting young athletes facing unfair obstacles. Andy's emphasis on action, ethics, and perseverance serves as a guiding framework for individuals striving for personal and professional excellence.

Notable Closing Quote:
"Grow up. Realize this. There's ethical entrepreneurship and there's unethical entrepreneurship. Ethical entrepreneurship is knowing that every single person that is around you deserves your best." ([24:46])

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For More Resources:

• 75 Hard Program: Dive deeper into the mental transformation program discussed by Andy. Available for free at andyforsoa.com.

• Book on Mental Toughness: Enhance your understanding of mental resilience with Andy's comprehensive book, also available at andyforsoa.com.

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Thank you for tuning into REAL AF with Andy Frisella. Stay committed, stay real, and keep pushing towards your goals.

Transcript

[Unknown Artist]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up. Bo Stove counted millions in a cold, bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no headshot case close.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, if you're unfamiliar with the show, Q and A, F is about anything. It's about personal development, business, life, entrepreneurship, how to kick ass. You can ask about what's going on in the world, too, but typically it's about how to get better. We'd like to start the week off with that. Now, if you want your questions answered on the show, you could do so a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, you can.

[Co-host]

Email these questions into ask andyndyforcella.com or.

[Andy Frisella]

You go on YouTube in the comments section. You could Dr. Drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well. Now, tomorrow we're going to have cruise the Internet. That's a current event show, okay? We call it cti. We put topics up on the screen. We speculate on what's true, what's not true, and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. All right? Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to reclaim their life. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program, it is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program in history. And it's free. You can get it for free, the entire thing at episode 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book available called the Book on Mental Toughness. You can get it andyforsoa.com it is a lot more in depth. It includes the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of other stuff, a bunch of chapters about mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it, some case studies on some famous people who have used mental toughness to become the famous people that you recognize. All right, so you can get that at Andy for now, you're probably wondering why it is we do personal development and what's going on in the world. And it's because this. We have to be aware what's going on, and then we have to know the techniques on how to get better and become the change in society. So we do both of those things here. We talk about what's going on in the world, we talk about what we need to do there, and then we talk about, through Q and A and personal development, how we need to individually get better. Because the truth of the matter is, nothing changes unless we change. We are society. All right? Personal excellence on an individual level is the ultimate rebellion that all of you are looking for. All right? So that's why we do what we do, and we do it a little different than everybody else. We don't run ads on the. Okay, I don't answer anybody. I don't have anybody telling me what I can and can't say. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us share the show. We're constantly dealing with shadow bands, traffic throttles, all that stuff that they do on the Internet. Hopefully it ends soon after the election. But right now, we're dealing with it, and we need your help to grow the show. So if the show helps you, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, if it's something that you think needs to be heard, do us a favor and don't be a hoe.

[Co-host]

Show the show.

[Andy Frisella]

All right. What's up, dude?

[Co-host]

What's going on, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, not much.

[Co-host]

I think sweater weather is full.

[Andy Frisella]

In fact, mm, getting fall.

[Co-host]

We should get some onesies.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Would you wear one? I'd wear mine backwards.

[Andy Frisella]

With the feet or without the feet?

[Co-host]

Oh, well, I mean, if you got those, like, slippers like, you got. I think you do know.

[Andy Frisella]

I think if you're gonna wear onesie, it has to be the one with the feet in it. Otherwise, it's not a onesie.

[Co-host]

What is it?

[Andy Frisella]

It's a twosie, because you gotta wear. It's a 3Z because you gotta wear socks. That's three pieces. A onesie is one piece. A true onesie has.

[Co-host]

Do you have one? I feel like you're.

[Andy Frisella]

When I was a kid, I had them. I liked them. I thought they were sweet.

[Co-host]

Yeah. All right.

[Andy Frisella]

I just. We gotta. I'm sure there's dudes out there that wear them as grown adults. You know, I have.

[Co-host]

I do have Long John. That's like A full, but no feet. Yeah, I use that for riding in the cold.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Riding what?

[Co-host]

Bikes.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, what kind of bike? Like a Huffy.

[Co-host]

The ones I stole.

[Andy Frisella]

Mongoose?

[Co-host]

No, man. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with them. People like them. That's fine. But. Yeah. Sweater weather.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it is.

[Co-host]

I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yep. It's not bad.

[Co-host]

It's a little chilly. It's not bad, but, you know, it's Missouri. It is Missouri.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, so what we got, man?

[Co-host]

Listen, I got some good ones for you.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, Good.

[Co-host]

Three specific ones that are good for you and you guys listening. So let's make people better.

[Andy Frisella]

Sounds good, guys.

[Co-host]

Andy, question number one. Andy, I started with a new company two years ago. To date, I quickly became top sales as the youngest guy on the team. Before I started, the team was between 35 and 50 year olds. Me at 25. Came in, started walking circles around them. I think they all got upset at the new young guy and all eventually moved on. Two years in, I'm senior sales and I'm wanting to put myself in a position to be a sales manager. The current manager can't follow through. Doesn't really manage the team. Bowed bad mouths after all of our meetings and is just a bad manager. The owner is pretty hands off in my territory, so doesn't see the issues firsthand. My question for you is, what. What's the best, most ethical way to go about this? Prior to this, I had seven years of retail management, so running a sales team isn't anything new to me. I know the value I could provide would amount to a successful team all around rather than just the star players. You're an owner. I'm sure you've had employees come to you on this. Thanks for your advice.

[Andy Frisella]

Why not? Was there a question there? The question, I guess.

[Co-host]

What's. What's the most ethical way to go about this? How do you do.

[Andy Frisella]

What's this? Go about what?

[Co-host]

A manager that's in a bad position, but the owner. Owner that's hands off. How do you. How do you battle that?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, look, dude, you don't have to have permission to lead anything. That's the biggest thing that people don't understand. You don't have to have a title or a permission or acknowledgement to lead. All right? Leading is something that leaders do on their own, regardless of what title they have. In fact, some of the most effective leaders in the world are what you would call peer leaders, meaning they don't have the title of leadership, but they take over the lead of the team. And you know what happens whenever that person who is a peer leader becomes the leader of their team? Now they have leverage. Now they can go to their manager and they can say, hey, all my guys are with me, bro. We're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing this. You're not doing your part. We need this, we need this. We need this to do our jobs, and you're not providing that. So what do we need to do to get that? Okay. And that's one way you can go about it. Another way you can go about it is become undeniably great at selling whatever it is you're selling with your team. And then when you're kicking ass and everybody else is looking like, which you seem very confident that you can do, which I question your confidence. To be completely honest, anybody who's 25 years old that sounds that confident usually has an ego issue just being honest. So I. If you are who you say you are and you can do what you say you can do, here's what I'd recommend. I'd recommend putting up numbers that that company's never seen before ever, in the history of their company. Not even close. And then I'd recommend going to the owner himself and saying, hey, you see what I'm doing here? I could do this for your entire company if you let me. How about that? That's an ethical way. What do you mean ethical? You mean like going around the manager? If that guy's not doing his job, who's he holding back? Oh, he's holding back you. He's holding back all your teammates, all the people you're working with. So really the ethical thing is to go to bat for those guys, do what I'm saying and then get this out of the way straight up with your performance, or get them to start rowing the boat. So there's a lot of ways you can go about this, but the number one thing that has to happen for you to go about this is you have to win and put up numbers that no one can deny, which everybody talks about all the time. All the numbers they can put up and all the they can sell and how great they were at their last job and how awesome they're going to be at this job if we just give them this and this and this and this. Well, if you're that good, why the are you not doing it? Okay, so let's be real. The owners met 50, 25 year old kids that have come to him and said, I could do this and this and this and this and this. And I'm going to tell you what, the minute you walk out the door, he says, yeah, that, I've heard that before. But the response would be different if you went out and you put the numbers up and then went to him, okay? And this is what people do. If you're an entrepreneur, I'm going to give you the most valuable advice you'll ever get about providing for yourself an income. It's not, hey, if, if you pay me more, I'll do this. That's not how the it works, okay? It's, I'm doing this, I'm kicking ass, I'm dominating, I'm putting up numbers that you've never seen before. I'm worth this. That's the way it works. A lot of you try to get paid off of what you're going to do when in reality you only get paid off what you're already doing or what you've done. All right? So, and that's entitlement. That comes from an entitled culture of the younger generation who believes that they're worth way more than they are. They say, oh, pay me what I'm worth. Well, you're not selling anything. You're not doing anything. Well, if you paid me, I'd go do it. That's not how the it works. That's not how it works. Nobody pays a, you know, a baseball player, you know, a hundred million dollars for what they're going to do. They get the 100 million doll contract after they've proven themselves, okay? And they may have proven themselves in the minor leagues, they may have proven themselves in college, they may have proven themselves for that first two year contract where they made league minimum and now they're getting 100, 200 million dollar deal. Okay? But there's a prove yourself phase that has to be recognized that a lot of you young don't get, okay? If you're not putting up numbers and you're not putting up records and you're not setting the standard, you don't have a standing to go in and ask for anything. So don't get it twisted. Don't listen to your fucking loser friends and your uncle who never did anything and all this shit when they badmouth their places. Well, if they paid me, I do this more. Well, that's why you're not getting paid, because you're a fucking idiot. You don't understand how it works. Works like this, put up or shut the fuck up. That's it. You're either putting it up, you're Setting records, you're kicking ass and you're going to get paid more. Or you're coasting, you're bitching, you're whining, and you're going to be fucking, you know, working at fucking Taco bell when you're 50 years old.

[Co-host]

Yeah, man, I wanna, I wanna, there's, there's two things I really wanna dive in on this. You know that first part where you're, you know, people expect, you know, they'll get the title first and then they become this leader. You gotta lead before you get the title. Can we just dive into this a little bit more, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, dude, a lot of people believe that. They believe that, you know, someone has to come along and anoint them the leader. That's not how it works.

[Co-host]

And then they start leading.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes, that's not how it works. You lead and then you get the middle of leaders, okay? You go first, you help your team, you show your team how to win, you earn their respect, you perform personally, and you get them all to follow you down that path of performance. Now we can talk about something now. Now, you know what I'll say you're a leader and I'm going to give you some sort of title to recognize that. But waiting around for the title to be adorned, you know, onto your quilted business card or whatever the you think business is about is not a way to become successful, bro. A lot of people just have it backwards.

[Co-host]

And you don't have to wait for that title to start leading.

[Andy Frisella]

You shouldn't. You should start trying to become a leader right now. You know, and a lot of people don't like that because like they feel like they're the kid in class with the apple up at the front. Well, you know what, that kid in class with his apple up at the front that gets all the good grades. A makes all the money, okay? So do you want to get paid or do you want to feel a little bit weird about standing up to all your friends and being like, hey, we gotta go and win. I'd rather do that and get paid. I don't really care if they don't like it. I don't care if they think I'm a suck ass. I don't care. Sucking ass and saying this, all this. You kissing ass, brown nose. That's loser ass. We're trying to win, okay? That's what we're here for. And winning for us looks like doing our job at the highest possible level, proving that we can do it. And then the money comes later. It's no different when you're an entrepreneur. You provide the product, you provide the service. You do it in an excellent way, over the top, and then people give you their money. That's what the fuck. It works. It doesn't ever work. As you know, you get the money first. Hey, I got an idea. Come spend money with my company, and if you spend enough money, I'll give you a good experience, right?

[Co-host]

No.

[Andy Frisella]

That's what employees fucking say.

[Co-host]

That's what they think.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

It makes no sense.

[Co-host]

No.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, hey, hey, Steve, if you pay me three times as much, I'll do three times as much. Well, there's no proof that you can do three times as much. You're not even good at the. You do yet. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, it's just backwards logic, bro.

[Co-host]

It is. It is also going to touch on this piece too, because you kind of. You mentioned it, but let's dive into it because I feel like this. This can relate.

[Andy Frisella]

Listen, here's what you should do. If you're an entrepreneur, you should become the best you can. You should put up undeniable results. You should monitor everything that you do and keep track of every win that you have so that you can go in and make a case for yourself to move up in the company. Because no one's going to come to you and say, you know, hey, man, I think you should be president of the company. You're going to have to inch your way and inch your way and inch your way up by showing what the you've done. Okay? And I know everybody thinks they do a lot, but if you start tracking on paper, you'll find out exactly what the you do and exactly how many wins you have. And a lot of people overestimate their wins, which makes them overestimate their value. And when they don't get recognized with the value in return, they get bitter, they get angry, and they end up giving up on the ability to go out and create something for themselves when the whole reason they're in the position they're in is because they're overestimating their value based upon, you know, what they think. And they don't have the perspective to think anything. Right. You see what I'm saying?

[Co-host]

Right? So I got 10 on paper, man. Well, Joe got fucking 50. So, like, who are you comparing it to?

[Andy Frisella]

Listen, if people simply took their wins and tracked them down and made a list of them, they'd find out much more quickly what they're actually worth. Because most people don't do shit. Most people spend most of their day trying to play business or pretend to be busy or pretend to be working or sort of slithering into the corner so nobody notices them. And then they get pissed when they get passed over. And. And the career opportunities go to other people. Okay? It is what it is. Winners win, losers lose. Winners are going to come in, they're going to get everybody to win with them. Losers are going to come in, they're going to pull everybody back. You want to be on the winning side, because the winning side is the guy who wins in life. And the losers don't get. And that's it. That's a reality that these kids have lost. They don't understand and all. Another thing they don't understand is how fucking hard it actually is. A lot of people think I'm just going to show. You know what they say? I show up on time. I've never been late. Well, no shit. You're not supposed to be. I do my job. You're supposed to do your job. It's not. Those are the people that progress. It takes way more than that. It takes you producing undeniable real results and then making a case for yourself saying, hey, look what I've done. And by the way, when you do that, you'll be confident in your own skills because you can actually see them 1 through 20 right here, okay? And if they don't want to fucking help you and they don't want to progress you and they don't want you to do better in their company, guess what you can do? You can go somewhere that will.

[Co-host]

Yeah, I want to touch on this because I feel like a lot of people, like, especially the young guys, can relate to this situation, but I want to spend some time on talking about what not to do in this situation. Right? You're a builder of culture. You understand culture more than anybody. I feel like this person, I'm not saying, you know, he's gonna go do this, but I feel like it's an easy thing to feel, you know? All right, well, I'll just start talking. This manager, I'm gonna do my best to make him look bad and talk shit stupid.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, let's talk about those people never win. Those people never win. Just so you know, if you're the type of person that thinks you're gonna get ahead by pulling other people down, it will never, ever, ever work. It never works. It never works. We talked about this with Mi Let when he was on my show, like, two, three years ago. There's a Ladder to success. And the people above you have been through more than you and they can very easily recognize that you're full of. Okay, you're not gonna fool. You might fool some people on the bottom rungs, you might get a little bit higher and fool some more people. But eventually someone's going to see what the you're about. And when they see that you're about tearing everybody around you down to get ahead, they're not going to allow you on their team because they understand what that's going to create. It's going to create a massive cancer that they're going to have to clean up later. So all you that think you're real smart and you're smarter than your boss and you're. They've seen you a thousand times. They've seen you. You're not the first to think that they've seen you. Yeah, you see what I'm saying?

[Co-host]

I have this great idea. Let me talk my manager. This has never been done before.

[Andy Frisella]

Dude, they've seen you. There's been a hundred of you before. And that comes from their ego thinking that they're the smartest on the planet. You know, they think, oh, well, you know, they've never seen anybody like me because I'm so good at my job and I'm. And then they end up thinking they're. You think you're smarter than your boss who's been doing whatever the he's been doing for 25, 30 years. You're an idiot. He's seen you, he's seen a hundred like you. You're not gonna fool him. The only way to get up the ladder is by doing it the right way. It's by being great at what you do, getting the other people around you to be great at what they do. And then you will be rewarded.

[Co-host]

I fucking love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, thanks for taking this question. I own a landscaping business and I'm about to finish up my second year. It's two full time guys, including myself. And then we have occasional part time guys that help. Our motto has always been stay small long enough and we will be big enough soon enough. I do believe it's best to keep the cash high and overhead low. I also find myself struggling as I work in the field all the time. It's hard to be able to work on the business side of things and grow. Is it normal to get completely fed up with the day to day tasks because you get to a point where you almost feel like you're above it. I keep getting this inner voice in my head telling me that I'm above the bitch work because I'm the one that's obtaining all the business in the first place. Maybe I'm just expecting more out of the other guys since they don't do any sales. How can I combat this prideful ego? Or is it time to take the step and delegate tasks to other guys while I'll solely focus on sales and growing?

[Andy Frisella]

Do you know why your guys don't want to work for you? You know why they don't want to work? Because you think what they do is work.

[Co-host]

Oh, boy. Oh, buddy.

[Andy Frisella]

You just said it in your question.

[Co-host]

Oh, buddy.

[Andy Frisella]

You think people are going to come and work for you if you think what they do is important in this work and whatever you do is more important. You ever been around someone like that?

[Co-host]

No.

[Andy Frisella]

Did you like them? Did you want to work for him? Did you want to run through a brick wall for him? Or have you ever worked for someone that'll get on the line with you and pack some boxes or sweep the floor or help you be great at what you do? Now, did you want to work for that guy? Do you want to run through a wall for that guy? Okay, you're not the guy yet. You haven't figured it out, okay? So this isn't about delegating. This is about an attitude adjustment that you need to make as a leader, and that's this. Without them, you ain't. So you might as well help them feel real good about what they do and help them be great at that so they can progress. And when they progress, that will help you progress. It's very simple, okay? The fact that you even wrote I'm above the work shows me that your ego is so out of control that you don't even understand your own business. All right? I'm a McDonald's. Making the fries is work. Well, what if the fries are bad? What if the fries are soggy? What if the fries get over fried? What if they're. What if they got oil all over them? What if they're not salted? What? How's that going to affect your business? Does that work? Now you see what I'm saying?

[Co-host]

Oh, man.

[Andy Frisella]

So this is an attitude adjustment from someone who's clearly not ready to lead, that needs to make a adjustment and say, hey, I am not going to ask my people to do anything that I cannot do at a very high level. And every chance I get, I'm going to help them do that motherfucker I take trash out here. Real talk there. Every single day I go to one of our fucking trash bins and I fucking empty it. You know why? Because I want to remind myself what the fuck it actually takes to remind to run this place. My job as the fucking founder, okay, is not to think of myself as better than everyone. My job is to fucking make everybody else better. That's the job. And if I went around and said what they do is work, do you think they'd want to get better at what they do? How do you think a grown man feels when you think what he does for a living when you're paying him to do it, that you think that's work? How do you think he feels? You think he feels confident when he goes home? You think he feels better about himself? You think he feels excited to come to work knowing that his owner thinks that what he does is work? You think he wants to get better at it? You need an attitude adjustment, bro. Or you need to get the out of business. That's my answer.

[Co-host]

Oh, man. Let me ask you this because I mean, like, even just to that part though, right? Like, you know, when you started on the retail side, I mean, how long were you in the stores for?

[Andy Frisella]

Six years. And then. And then four more after that.

[Co-host]

I mean, so 10 fucking years.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. And you know what's funny? It's what I missed the most. I fucking loved it. I love doing what we did in the stores. I loved helping people. I love being. And everybody's in a hurry to get away from there, wherever they are. And they don't understand how great they have it.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Be sitting making big decisions that are. That, that require you to consider the well being of hundreds of other people and their families is an immense amount of pressure that no one can possibly comprehend. And the only person that can do it without feeling that is a sociopath that gives zero about those people. And you know what? If you're that way, those people will always know it and they won't come for you. So the only way they won't go to war for you, the only way that you can actually build an amazing culture is by truly being about it. You have to. Everybody hears what I say about this and then they think they can like skirt the corner.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Or like make it diluted. No. Why do you think I'm here seven days a week? Because I give a. I give a about what we're doing. I give a about our people, I give a about our customers. And I care about at the level, at which things are done here, and so does all the other leadership. Dude, you listen, here's the reality. This is just the truth, okay? Most people that are in business that think they're entrepreneurs shouldn't even be in business because entrepreneurship has become so glorified and so celebrated, and it's been made into this thing that it isn't. It's been made into this easy job, right? I'm going to be an entrepreneur, so I don't have to answer to anybody. I want to be an entrepreneur so I can have freedom, okay? You answer to your customers, you answer to your employees. If when you become the entrepreneur, you. You answer to way more people than when you're an employee, all right? So the truth of the matter is, you know, if you got the attitude that people around you are doing work, there's no secret why your business is up, bro.

[Co-host]

Yeah, man. I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

Grow the up. Realize this. There's ethical entrepreneurship and there's unethical entrepreneurship. Ethical entrepreneurship is knowing that every single person that is around you deserves your best as a founder, owner, CEO, leader, okay? Because if you don't come in and do your best, it hurts them and it hurts their families. That's ethical entrepreneurship. Unethical entrepreneurship, which always fails is people who come in and they say, I'm not going to do the work.

[Co-host]

Yeah, I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

I. I'll tell you what, dude, I hate that. That pisses me off.

[Co-host]

I mean, I think.

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, you don't get it, bro.

[Co-host]

Yeah. Hey, but that's the thing. I mean, the. The lack of perspectives. The thing, though, man, you know, it's a hell of a power. It's a hell of a power, man.

[Andy Frisella]

You know how bad that hurts people to. They. Look, man, you gotta build people. You go to my Instagram profile, it says very simply, builder of people and companies, okay? It says, people first for a reason. You gotta build people. You think people want to come to work for you because they know that you think what they do is. Bro, that's fucking bullshit.

[Co-host]

Wild, man. It's wild. I hope. Listen, I hope he. Hope he takes it and makes that adjustment.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, he either will or he won't. If he doesn't, he'll fucking lose.

[Co-host]

Yeah, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number three. All right? A little bit more personal development on this for a young gun. Okay? Good morning. I really need your guidance. My son goes to a St. Louis area high school. He's a junior, and he's been playing football for eight years. His freshman year, he played on the junior varsity team. His sophomore year, he played on the junior varsity and varsity teams and was told he couldn't start varsity because he was a sophomore and the upperclassmen started, which is fair. This year he hasn't played at all, and they have been putting a sophomore in his place at center. I found out through a little sleuthing that the sophomore's father went to the same school, knows the coaches, has a lot of money. Let me give you a little bit more background on my son. So you don't think the other kid is just better and I'm just a big whiner. My son is 16. He did 75 hard or the 75 hard program over the summer. He went to all the summer practices camps, worked out at the school with the team, went to work at Home Depot, and after work he ran up to Edge Fitness and worked out and then ran home. He also went to some college camps in hopes of scholarships. Started his own Twitter account for scouts. He's lost 50 pounds reading books. Whatever had to happen, he did it. At the beginning of the school year, he planned on being a team leader. Now he doesn't care and wants to quit all of his sports, including football, wrestling and throwing. My son's father's alive but absent. I was taught to never question coaches, and I don't know what to do. Please help. Thanks. Thank you for your time. A loyal listener. I feel like there's a hell of a opportunity here.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, what do you think?

[Co-host]

I mean, this is a make or break opportunity for that kid, depending on how, what he decides to do.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, if he quits here, he's going to quit everything hard in life, okay? So that's the first thing you got to understand. And you should probably communicate to that. That to him. And if not, let him listen to this. If you quit now, you're going to be a loser your entire life. That's it. We don't get what we always want. And to get what we always want, we have to be so much better that it's unquestionable. And I can tell you for a fact, not knowing the circumstances, that is not the case. Because if you were unquestionably that much better than that sophomore in front of you, I mean, dominant, you would be playing. Okay, so let's. This is called real af. This isn't called Feel Good af. You're not good enough, okay? Because you got to be so good that you got to be able to outpace the people with the relationships and the connections and the politics. And the money. Because you know what? When you go out in the real world, you're going to face that same. You think that doesn't exist in the real world. You think it doesn't exist that people have connections or have, you know, of some sort of backdoor deal or. That's all real, bro. And you're getting your first taste of it here as a young man, which is actually a blessing in disguise. So my advice would. Would be this. If you quit, you're going to quit everything hard in your life, and that's a big problem for you, because I can promise you, and this is coming from someone who played sports at a high level, it gets a lot harder. A lot harder. All right? So take that for what it's worth. If you were my son, I wouldn't let you quit. Okay? My dad, I tried to quit when I was in high school because I didn't like the. That my coach did.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what my dad said? You ain't quitting. That's it.

[Co-host]

Yeah. To the practices.

[Andy Frisella]

So, you know, and I was lucky enough to have a dad that pushed me like that. And, you know, my dad would probably nowadays if. If his parenting was broadcast all over the Internet, he'd probably be in jail. But the truth of the matter is, I'm very thankful for it. And I think there's a lot of bad parenting strategies out there because of the feel good do gooders, you know, and the participation trophy culture, which doesn't sound like that's the case here. But we have a lot of parents that just don't push their kids in anything, and then they act surprised when they don't do well in life. To do well in life, you have to be good. And you're learning a lesson here. You can't be as good. You have to be better. And you have to be so much better that it doesn't matter if that kid's dad was building a whole entire new school out of his own pocket. You got to be better than that kid. And play where everybody in the crowd knows that if he plays that kid, it's only because of that. And you're not that good because if they did, they would play you. All right, get back to work, bro. You know, it sounds like you got a really good momentum. It sounds like you're doing 75 hard. You lost 50 pounds. You made a lot of progress, dude. I know you're frustrated because of this going on, and that's. That's aggravating. I don't get everything I Want. In fact, right before this podcast, I had to tell these guys that I wasn't getting something that we plan on getting, did I not? Okay, so I'm fucking grown man. That shit still happens. And I have all the connections. Okay, it's going to happen to you, too. So how are you going to respond? Are you going to respond by saying, oh, poor little me, he gets the advantage because his dad's big shot and blah, blah. You'll be saying that same at your job in 10 years. You'll be saying, oh, he got the promotion because, you know, he sucked the owners wee wee. You know what I'm saying? Like, you'll make up some. And dude, that's what. And then your life, your life, you'll be 50 years old and you'll be a loser, and that'll be that. And I don't think that's what you want. Bro, you're 15, 16 years old. You're putting in all this work. Don't quit, get better. Those are the two things that you need to do. And if you don't get better than that, kid, because, dude, sometimes you can't be better than people. Some, like, if I was playing basketball against LeBron James, it doesn't matter how much work I do or how much I put into it, because he's still going to be better. Yeah. So we got to be, and this is a good lesson for people. We got to be real about our strengths and weaknesses so that we can produce the result that we're looking after. And yes, there's a lot of truth to, you can do anything you want, but there's also limits to that, too. Okay, in the real world, yes, but they're not as bad as you think. They're limits based upon, like, physical ability. Right? Like in sports, like, bro, if you run a 5, 2:40, you probably ain't playing college football, you know, unless you're £400, you know what I'm saying? If you can't dunk a basketball, you know, you probably ain't playing in the NBA, right. You know, there's limits. And the good thing is, is that in the business world and in the life world, there's far less limits than in the sports world. So you're dealing with a very harsh reality. Possibly now it could be possible, too, that you're just a young man and you haven't developed enough and you're just kind of getting your athletics going on because you're making all this progress and you could come back next year and be dominant. I Promise you this. If that kid knows he's going to start over you next year and you're hungry, he ain't going to work as hard as you're willing to work.

[Co-host]

He's chilling.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. So what if you come in next year? The season's over already. What if you come in next year and you crush. That would be my advice, okay? And, dude, you're wanting to play college ball, you're wanting to go past that. That's not too late. Your dreams are not crushed. You're frustrated. And if we give up when we're frustrated, bro, we can't win, okay? A lot of winning has to do with us not quitting when everybody else quits. That's really it. It's a game of longevity. It's a game of dedication and commitment and perseverance and grit and fortitude, which, dude, you've already realized doing 75 hard. Okay? So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get your ass in the weight room, get yourself eating the right food, take it real serious, and come out next fall and smash skulls, bro. That's what you should do, okay? And take this as a real life lesson, brother, okay? You. It's not always going to be fair. It's not fair. It's. It's hardly ever fair. But you know how you overcome unfairness? By being so much better that nobody can question it. That's how you overcome it. And. And for all of us, for most of us who come from the real world, we have to be that good to succeed, bro, because it just ain't fair. People with connections, people with money, people with politics, people, those people are going to get the opportunities before people like us that come from regular world, okay? So how do we overcome that? We overcome that by being great. So you got to go be great, and you got to put in more work than I know you think you did a lot, but you got to put in more than that. And this goes back to the question I said just before this. What people think it takes and what it actually takes is completely two different things. And while you've made good progress, man, we got more to go. So let's get to what works. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

[Co-host]

I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, that's a Monday, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. All right, guys, look, let's go out. Let's kick some ass. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Yeah.

[Unknown Artist]

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