816. Q&AF: Weighing Your Options, Gut Vs Guidance & Balancing Money And Stress

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Episode 816 Summary

Title: Q&AF: Weighing Your Options, Gut Vs Guidance & Balancing Money And Stress
Host: Andy Frisella
Release Date: November 25, 2024

In Episode 816 of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella," host Andy Frisella delves deep into listener-submitted questions, providing candid advice on career decisions, balancing external guidance with personal intuition, and managing stress as an emerging business owner. The episode is structured around three main questions, each unpacked with Frisella’s trademark bluntness and practical wisdom.

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1. Weighing Your Career Options: Staying or Moving On

Timestamp: 05:48 – 13:21

A listener, a 26-year-old commercial industrial electrician from Colorado, faces a pivotal career decision. He has been with a large company for seven years, achieving significant milestones, including completing a recognized apprenticeship and obtaining a state license. Recently, a former location has offered him a direct position with better pay and benefits, while his current employer hints at future promotions.

Key Discussion Points:

• Appreciation vs. Comfort: Frisella emphasizes that the perception of the "grass being greener" often stems from a lack of appreciation for one’s current position.
• Negotiation Strategy: He advises obtaining a formal offer from the new company to use as leverage when negotiating with the current employer.
• Integrity in Negotiations: Maintaining honesty is crucial, especially since managers might verify claims with the new company.
• Preparedness to Walk Away: Holding the willingness to leave strengthens one's negotiating position.

Notable Quote:

“The grass is always greener where you water it.” – Andy Frisella [07:25]

Frisella outlines a step-by-step approach:

1. Secure the Offer: Get a concrete offer from the new company.
2. Present to Current Employer: Use the offer to negotiate raises or promotions, showcasing the value you bring.
3. Be Ready to Move: If the current employer cannot meet your needs, confidently transition to the new opportunity.

This advice underscores the importance of proactive communication and self-advocacy in career progression.

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2. Balancing Humility and Innovation: When to Follow Advice or Forge Your Own Path

Timestamp: 18:39 – 29:52

A 22-year-old entrepreneur seeks guidance on determining when to heed advice from others versus trusting his own ideas, especially in the context of managing a family-run livestock operation.

Key Discussion Points:

• Discernment in Seeking Advice: Not all advice is valuable; it's essential to seek guidance from those with proven expertise in relevant fields.
• Balancing External Insights with Intuition: While leveraging experienced mentors, entrepreneurs should also cultivate and trust their innovative ideas.
• The Value of Experience: Frisella shares his journey from humble beginnings to building a successful business, emphasizing that firsthand experience provides invaluable lessons that theoretical knowledge cannot.
• Encouraging Innovation: Highlighting that groundbreaking ideas often emerge from challenging the status quo, he illustrates this with the example of developing the "ditch witch"—a transformative tool in ditch digging.

Notable Quote:

“All innovation comes from going outside the norms of regular advice.” – Andy Frisella [22:04]

Frisella advises young entrepreneurs to:

• Evaluate the Source of Advice: Only follow advice from those who have successfully navigated similar challenges.
• Trust Your Gut: When your instincts align with informed advice, it often leads to better outcomes.
• Embrace Learning Through Failure: Making mistakes is a natural part of growth, and each setback is a learning opportunity.

He reinforces that while external advice is beneficial, the true edge comes from personal innovation and resilience.

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3. Managing Stress as a Young Business Owner: Building Mental and Physical Resilience

Timestamp: 30:44 – 41:38

Luke, a 20-year-old exterior cleaning business owner, grapples with handling elevated levels of stress that have begun to affect him physically. He seeks advice on effective stress management techniques and learns from Frisella’s extensive experience.

Key Discussion Points:

• Relative Experience of Stress: Frisella notes that what feels overwhelming now will seem less so with experience and growth.
• Physical Fitness as a Stress Reliever: Emphasizes the importance of maintaining physical health through proper nutrition and regular exercise to enhance the ability to handle stress.
• Developing Mental Toughness: Encourages cultivating discipline, grit, and self-belief as essential tools for managing increasing responsibilities and stressors.
• Avoiding Instant Gratification: Warns against turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or gambling, which provide temporary relief but exacerbate stress in the long run.

Notable Quotes:

“If you're able to operate even when things are hard, you can't be with.” – Andy Frisella [37:50]
“Discipline, grit, fortitude, self-belief, confidence, all of these things are things that can be improved.” – Andy Frisella [41:34]

Frisella recommends:

1. Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle: Consistent exercise and proper diet enhance resilience.
2. Building Mental Fortitude: Regularly challenging oneself fosters resilience and the capacity to handle stress.
3. Avoiding Negative Coping Mechanisms: Developing constructive habits to manage stress ensures long-term well-being and business sustainability.
4. Continuous Skill Development: Like physical training, mental toughness must be regularly practiced and maintained.

By integrating physical and mental disciplines, entrepreneurs can significantly improve their ability to manage stress, leading to sustained business success and personal well-being.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Andy Frisella provides actionable insights for entrepreneurs navigating career decisions, balancing external advice with personal initiative, and managing the inevitable stresses of business ownership. His advice centers on proactive communication, discerning the quality of guidance, and cultivating resilience through disciplined habits. For those seeking to elevate their professional and personal lives, Episode 816 serves as a valuable resource for practical strategies and motivational guidance.

Final Notable Quote:

“We make fun of Tommy Toppers… If you’re one of these people, walk away, you are getting made fun of.” – Andy Frisella [05:15]

Frisella’s no-nonsense approach encourages listeners to confront challenges head-on, prioritize personal growth, and remain steadfast in their pursuit of success.

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Supporting Resources:

• Live Hard Program: Andy Frisella recommends the Live Hard program for developing mental toughness, available on his website or referenced in Episode 208 of the audio feed.
• Book on Mental Toughness: For deeper insights, Frisella’s book "Book on Mental Toughness" provides comprehensive strategies and case studies (available at andyforcella.com).

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Connect with the Show: Listeners are encouraged to submit questions via email at [e-mail] or through YouTube comments. Supporting the show by sharing episodes and engaging with products like First Form energy supplements further sustains the independent, ad-free platform that Andy Frisella champions.

Transcript

[Unknown Artist]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze Bow stove counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no headshot case clothes.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a few different ways.

[DJ]

The first way is, guys, email these questions in to Ask Andy atandy for seller.com.

[Andy Frisella]

Thank you, D.J.

[DJ]

You'Re welcome, Andy.

[Andy Frisella]

Or you could go on YouTube in the comment section and you can ask your questions there. And we'll choose some from there as well to be answered right here on the show. Now, if you're new to the show, which a lot of you always are, we have shows within the show. Tomorrow we're going to have what's called cti. That stands for cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics of the day up on the screen. We speculate on what's true, what's not true, and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 hard verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to win the war with themselves. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program. The Live Hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history. Okay. And you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. It's not on YouTube. You can also buy the book. The book is not required, but it has a lot of extras that the podcast doesn't have, and you can get that@andy for seller.com it's called the Book on Mental Toughness, and it has the entire Live Hard program in a much deeper detail. It also has 10 chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to cultivate and how to use it in your life, along with a bunch of case studies from people that you know who have used mental toughness to become the people that you know. Okay? So, Andy Forcella Dot com. The book on mental toughness. Now, something we do different here on the show, you're going to notice we don't run ads. The reason we don't run ads is because I don't have to run ads. I'm independently successful and I don't want to listen to what people think I should and shouldn't say. It's called real af. Okay? So we keep it real here. I don't get influenced by people. All the opinions you hear are mine and mine alone, or DJs and his alone. And we ask very simply, instead of us making money running ads, that you just support us, okay? And that looks a couple different ways. One, you can share the show, all right? We are constantly dealing with censorship issues, so we need your help to grow the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if it gives you new perspective, if you get some good information, do us a solid and share the show around, okay? It could be a post, could be a recommendation, could be a story. But every show that brings you value, the deal is you got to share it. Okay? And the other thing you could do is you could go into your local store and support First Form. You could get an energy drink. You can get a protein bar. You get a meat stick. Keep yourself healthy, keep yourself moving. All right? So. And if your store doesn't carry first form energy, ask them why they don't. All right, So I think that's all, isn't it?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. So don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

All right. What's up, man?

[DJ]

What's going on, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Nothing. I got a little fancy there. I don't know if you noticed. No, yeah, I got a little fancy in the intro.

[DJ]

I liked it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, A little extra sauce.

[DJ]

You're the sauce, boss.

[Andy Frisella]

The sauce, boss. You heard it first here.

[DJ]

Boss of the sauce.

[Andy Frisella]

The boss of the sauce. I talked about that raise later. All right, so what's up, dude?

[DJ]

What's going on, man? Dude, I think winter's full in effect right now, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Bro, you ain't kidding.

[DJ]

It is cold.

[Andy Frisella]

Dude, it went straight from 80 to 30, bro, and I ain't ready for it now.

[DJ]

I'm sure all these, like, Milwaukee people are gonna be, like, cold. You don't know code. Yeah, code is negative thousand.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's not hot there. It's hot in Brazil.

[DJ]

Yeah. You know, but it's like, fuck, man, it's cold, man. All right, guys, it's cold. It's Cold here.

[Andy Frisella]

Why? What is it with people with that shit?

[DJ]

I don't know.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, they gotta always compete for everything.

[DJ]

Oh, bro, listen, you, Tommy.

[Andy Frisella]

It's called Tommy Topper syndrome.

[DJ]

Tommy Thomas.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, you. We all know people like this. We're sitting there telling a story, you know. Hey, man, my friend, you know, he's. He's six foot. He's 250. He benches 500.

[DJ]

Bro, it's not shit.

[Andy Frisella]

My friend is 12 foot, 500, and he benches a thousand. Okay? There's nobody that big. No, you don't know. He's from my old neighborhood. He lives in the basement of my grandma's. Yeah, man, Nobody's ever seen him. You know? Like, they got this story, dude.

[DJ]

It's like, all right, cool, bro, the.

[Andy Frisella]

Worst people to hang out with are Tommy Toppers, dude. Bro, you tell a story, and they got a story that goes on top of it.

[DJ]

They gotta top it.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, what is that?

[DJ]

I don't know, man, but it's annoying.

[Andy Frisella]

It is annoying. Just know that if you're one of these people, we make fun of you.

[DJ]

If you are, Tommy, the minute you.

[Andy Frisella]

Walk away, you are getting made fun of.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And not. You're. You're not getting invited next time.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah. You don't even show up, man. That last time we had that event, man, it was.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, fucking.

[DJ]

Well, dude, it's Monday.

[Andy Frisella]

It is Monday.

[DJ]

It's Friday. Oh, yeah, but it's Monday.

[Andy Frisella]

Fuck, I don't even know what day it is.

[DJ]

Yeah, it's one of these days of the week. But we're here to make people better, man. So let's. Let's do this with question number one.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, guys.

[DJ]

Andy, Andy. First off, thank you for doing this show and your others. I didn't find this until two years ago, and now. And since then, I've hit multiple weight goals and other gym goals while continuing to compete for more. I'm 26. I've been a commercial industrial electrician in Colorado for seven years now. I completed a highly recognized apprenticeship, got my state license. I've been with the same large company throughout my seven years. While working for them, I've made multiple personal connections and other job opportunities. I have been informed one of my former locations I was at wants me to work for them directly and will have the opening in the spring. I've pretty much been topped out in pay at the company I'm at unless they move me into a higher position, which they have expressed. They're prepping me into the role that when the opportunity comes up, quote, unquote, I'll be next is what they say, and I'm looking to progress my career, and it sounds like what I want. However, the other job opportunity starts with more money and better benefits for myself, my wife, my one year old. I guess my question is, how should I move forward with seeing both opportunities and not thinking the grass is greener on the other side, when it may not be, when I've built a good reputation with who I'm employed with currently, but seeing the immediate benefits of going to the new opportunity. I like the people at each job and I know each side has continued options to further my career as well. Andy, is the grass always greener on the other side?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, obviously not. The grass is always greener where you water it. Okay. And when we get into a state of comfort, in certain scenarios, it can seem like the grass is greener on the other side, but usually that's just because we're not appreciation. We're not appreciating the position that we're in currently. So what I would do in this situation if I were you is I would talk to the new company and I would get to the point where they make you an offer. All right? And then the offer and the decision is in your court. Then I would go back to the original company. And by the way, it's very important that you don't lie. And I'm going to explain why in a second. Okay? So go get an offer. Make sure it's at the point where you can decide yes or no. Then go to your original company and say, hey, here's the deal. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. You guys have been very good to me. I've learned a lot here, but I want more and I want to progress. I need to make more money for myself and my family. I think I've been a great asset to the company. If you disagree, tell me. But I think we've had a really good relationship here. Now, you've expressed that you want me to move into these other positions, but even after that, I'm going to want to move into other positions and I'm going to want to continue to move. What does that look like for me to escalate through the. The hierarchy here at this company in a very serious way. And then they're going to say, well, here's what needs to happen. And they're going to go through a bunch of things. They're probably going to hit on some things that you need to improve. Okay. And then when they say, when when they tell you all that, you're going to say, when do you think that's going to happen? And they're probably going to give you some abstract answer. And that's where you then position the leverage that you have. And you say, look, I've been presented with this other opportunity. This is what it looks like. Do not lie, because there's a very high likelihood that your current manager, leader, boss, supervisor, whatever he is, is going to call this other company.

[DJ]

They know each other.

[Andy Frisella]

They might know each other, they might not know each other. But he mentioned that that company that he works for did work for them. So they probably know each other, but that regardless, they know each other or not, your current boss is going to call to check and see if you're full of. Okay, so make sure that you don't just pull some blue sky out of you, out of you, you know, and present it to him, because he's going to know you're full of. And then you're really.

[DJ]

You're offering 403?

[Andy Frisella]

No. Then. Then you're. Because you're not going to get the. The position at either place. So then I would position, you know, at that time, I would show them the offer. I would say, this is what I got going on. This is what my future looks like here. This is what I'm thinking. It's not disrespectful to you, but you got to understand, I'm looking out for my own family, and I have a duty and obligation to progress, and I want to progress, and I'm willing to do whatever I need to to progress. I would like to stay here because I've built a great rapport. I love you guys. How can we make that work and then let them talk? All right? And there. There's a very good chance that they're going to progress you right there. Because people who run successful businesses understand the investment that you make in employees, and they understand what it takes to get an employee from ground zero to effective to a tremendous asset. And it sounds like you are an asset. So you're. If your boss is competent, he's going to understand or she's going to understand the amount of time and effort and money they have sunk into you. And they're not going to want to throw that out the window. So there's a very good chance that you get promoted on the spot. Because, dude, a lot of times it just takes some stimulus to get someone to jump. Right? Like, once this person understands that you actually do have another option over here, they're going to say, all right, I can't let this go. Let's make this happen. And that's the natural human reaction in that scenario. So that's how I would handle it. And then if they say, well, hey, you need to go take that other position, I would listen to them. Because a good leader is going to tell someone what is best for them. Right? And a good leader is also going to know that if they keep you there and you don't progress, you're going to become a problem for the company. So that's how I would do this. I would go get the offer, I would go talk to your current company. I would see what that looks like, get their actual. Before you present it to them, get their actual feedback, get their actual, you know, plan for you, get a time frame. And then once they give you all that, then show them the offer, and then they will accelerate the path. The reason you want to do it in that order is because the minute that, that they tell you, well, it's going to be four months or this, you could say, well, look, dude, you just told me this is a path. I'm equipped to do this, I can do that, and you can make a case for yourself. So it's not like, you know, you present the offer and then they, they, they're going to be negotiating back on the path that you might have. Does that make sense?

[DJ]

Makes perfect sense.

[Andy Frisella]

So you want them to lay the path out first, and then you want to leverage them, and that's how it should put the ball in their court, correct?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And if they say no, you take the other offer and move on.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Andy Frisella]

But you have to be prepared to walk away. The person who is prepared to walk away in a negotiation always holds the leverage 100 of the time. It's no different in any situation that you're negotiating, whether it be a personal situation, a business situation, friends, it doesn't matter. Whoever is willing to walk away and mean it holds the, the power at that moment, and they have the leverage at that moment. So you have to be willing to get what you want. You have to be willing to walk away. That's the reality. So in this scenario, you need to have a good place to go so that you're not sitting at home with no income.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah. Fuck, man. I feel like, I feel like what this comes down to, man, is people's ability to be comfortable in conflict or what they perceive as conflict. You know, I'm saying, like, these difficult situations or like even, like, like, even the fear, Because I feel like maybe it's just current society, current culture, right? Where like, you know, people don't talk about their paychecks with their. Their coworkers.

[Andy Frisella]

You don't.

[DJ]

Like, like there's a, like, there's a certain atmosphere, I guess, in the workforce, man. And it's like nobody's comfortable even just having basic conversations. Even when it means, like, it's your. Like to your advantage.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but see, you should always be comfortable talking about money. You should always be comfortable having open dialogue about your career progress. And I think most people don't succeed in life because they automatically label conversations that need to be had to progress their life as hard conversations. They're not actually hard conversations. They're not any harder than any other conversation. It's words coming out of your mouth. It's the same thing, okay? You're attaching the label of hard to it, which is making you resist. But if you look at past the conversation, what's going to be past the conversation? Sure, certain conversations in your life are going to be very painful. When it comes to your job, when it comes to your relationships, when it comes to friendships, sometimes with your kids, the conversation part sucks. But what's on the other side of the conversation? What's on the other side, almost 100% of the time is always a better outcome. So the fact that you label the conversation as hard keeps you from having it, which then keeps you from getting where you want to go. And so most people spend their lives in the purgatory of agonizing over a conversation that would be very easy to have and produce the best possible results in the shortest amount of time. But because they label it the wrong way, instead of labeling it as a productive conversation, they label it as a hard conversation. So I would recommend that you guys start to see conversations that you may fear as a productive conversation, not as a hard conversation. Because what happens past that is 99 to 100% always better for everybody involved.

[DJ]

It does. Does it get easier?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, I mean, the older you get, it gets easier because you stop. I mean, look, dude, when you've been through enough shit and it doesn't kill you, you become less afraid of stuff, right? Like, I mean, you see how I operate, right? Like, I don't. I don't hesitate at all. But, but dude, also, I don't have ill will towards people. Like, like, even if I yell, like, let's say I yell at you or I yell at Madot or something, I'm pissed at the team. I. You guys still know I love you.

[DJ]

Yeah, 100%.

[Andy Frisella]

Right? Like, there's no. There's no. It's not like this. You know what I'm saying? So, like, if the intense, right?

[DJ]

I.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, I don't know. I just. I don't know. I think you mature into it. I think you get used to it. It's reps. But I also think you start to understand. What I just said is, like, I'm trying to get to the productive point as quick as possible, right? So the quicker I have the conversation, the quicker we get to the point. Right. And, you know, unfortunately, I think most people rot in purgatory their entire lives and deal with a job they don't want or a marriage they don't want or situation that they don't want in their life because they're afraid to have a conversation, when in reality, the conversation, yeah, dude, it's going to be. It might be a little painful, but past that, everybody's happier. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So you got to start looking at it as productive, not as hard. And, you know, a way to sit down and have those conversations and say, hey, man, I need to have a conversation with you. It's gonna be a little uncomfortable, but look, dude, it's gonna be good for both of us, and we're gonna be better off. Let's. Let's talk. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's easy to frame. It's just productive. It's not hard.

[DJ]

Do you think a lot of that, too, man, is, like, people always have these, like, preconceived notions of what the other person is gonna say or feel?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, yeah, because, dude, we've had. I mean, how many times have you had a conversation like this and the other person, like, overreacted or was rude or. Or reacted emotionally? And those things traumatize us to the point where we don't want to have those anymore because we're afraid that that's going to happen every time. But the reality is, is sometimes we're just dealing with immature people. Sometimes we're immature, you know? But at the end of the day, dude, we have to, as adults, be able to communicate in order to push our own lives down the road. And if we don't develop the ability to communicate about things that really matter, like our careers, our relationships, our money, we're gonna lose. You're gonna lose in all those things. You're gonna end up broke. You're gonna end up in a relationship that you hate. You're gonna end up unhappy. And the whole reason that you're ended up in this place is because you're afraid to have a hour long conversation. You're trading a hour of your life for a better life. Think about that.

[DJ]

Yeah, man, I love it, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Think. Why would you not trade an hour to two hours or three hours of your life for 50 fucking years to.

[DJ]

Change the whole trajectory?

[Andy Frisella]

Exactly.

[DJ]

Yeah. Fuck, man, I love it, man. I love it. Guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy. I'm 22 years old and I know I'm young and ignorant as fuck.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, that's a good thing that you know that.

[DJ]

It's a good way to start.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right, it is.

[DJ]

There's a lot I have to learn and I'm very eager to learn from others. I feel I've always been very teachable. I've been around livestock my whole life from my family, and they've helped and taught me so much. But recently I've started my own operations and I've researched different methods of operations that my family repeatedly tell me won't work and give me other advice. I tell them it's an experiment and if it doesn't work, I'll try something else. My question is, how do you determine the difference between being humble and teachable and going with your own ideas? Thank you for all you do for us.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, look, nobody has all the answers, even the people you ask for advice, okay? And this is very important for everybody to understand. You need to be very, very, very discerning about who you ask for advice from and who you listen to. We are bombarded every single day, both in life and online by people offering us unsolicited advice. They think they can give us advice about everything. How to raise your kid, how to do your job, how to do fitness, how to do business, their opinions on what you drive, how you do this. Everything is unsolicited advice. And so when we're bombarded with, especially online, all this different advice about how we should do what we should do and this and that, you need to realize, number one, unless that person is an actual expert in that field, you should not ask them for advice, no matter what their intent is for you. Because a lot of people will listen to bad advice from their friends because they think their friends have their best interest in mind. And they probably do. But just because someone has their best interests in mind doesn't mean they're going to give you good advice. So it's very important that you learn to detach your emotions and logically evaluate. Is this person capable of giving me effective advice in the area that I am asking to be better in, okay? If the answer is no, which it usually is, you got to find someone who's done that, all right? If it's your relationship, you're gonna find someone who. Who is a relationship. I don't think anybody's a relationship expert. I think these people that talk about it online all day long are full of. They usually end up breaking up, making themselves look like idiots on the Internet. That's a whole nother topic. But my point is, is we have to get to a point where we are able to discern and evaluate who is qualified to give us effective advice. All right? So that's point number one. Point number two, how to balance the advice with our own gut feeling. Okay? If you're talking to someone who is the best livestock rancher ever, all right, and he's telling you something, and it's the opposite of what you think, and this guy has a hundred thousand head of cattle, and he's worth a hundred million dollars off of cattle. No matter what you think is right, you're wrong. You're right. He's right.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

And so we have to. We have to be able to be humble enough to know when our instincts are right or wrong or when we need to roll the dice on what we think. Because all innovation comes from going outside the norms of regular advice. So if you only take advice and you only operate on someone's advice, you're probably going to win, but you're not going to develop anything new, all right? You're always going to be in second or third or fourth or fifth place. You're never going to be number one. So you have to learn to balance your creative thinking with other people's experience. And when you can do that effectively, it creates a pretty good recipe. Most people can't do that because the minute someone has one good idea or two good ideas that work, they lose the ability to learn because they think they know better than everybody else. So we have to find the, The. The. The middle ground. And that's just practice and being aware and being conscious of, am I humble? Am I coachable? Am. Do I actually know this, or am I just guessing? And that can just be hard to determine sometimes. So having people that, that know better, right? Like, go to your rancher buddy, the guy who's way more successful than you, say, hey, Pete, look, man, I know that makes sense, but, like, what about this? Because this is how I feel, and what's likely going to happen. He's going to say, dude, you know what? I thought that same thing back then, but here's what I did. I did this and this and this, and it didn't work. And here's why it didn't work. So what I would do is find someone and then bounce that gut feeling that you have off of them who has the experience to give you the advice, and then you'll start to figure out what's what.

[DJ]

I love that, dude. I feel like there's a couple of things here, man. Going out on your own. You know, you mentioned this a lot, right? Like, you spent a lot of time before you. That hockey stick really got into effect, right? And while you wasn't really, you know, I guess, producing fruits, you were still, like, learning lessons.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ]

In that time.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ]

So there is something to be said.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ]

Just going out and being a dumb ass that doesn't know anything.

[Andy Frisella]

No doubt.

[DJ]

Know what I'm saying? Like, let's talk about that a little bit.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, well, I. I'll give you a. So. So, dude, it's taken me 26 years of my life to get to this point, all right? And when I say that, there'll be some Internet face that'll be like, oh, 26 years. You really want to put that in? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I get what you're saying, but here's the reality. I have learned every lesson that there is to learn from zero to damn near a billion dollars in sales, okay? All of them. And I learned them all the hard way, which means you, who made a little bit of money in a year or two years, if we compete against each other, my tool belt is unlimited. Yours is very small, okay? So I'm going to crush you 100 times out of 100, because all the that you think I've already known, right? So we have to put value in the process. And while I tell the story of my own journey, where I'm like, hey, it took me 10 years. For 10 years total, I made $58,380. And I tell the story, right? I lived in the store, blah, blah, didn't get paid the first three years. I tell, you know, the whole thing. I am so thankful that it took that long because of what it taught me. And that's what makes me effective at coaching and helping entrepreneurs win. Because I've learned all the lessons from zero to here. And I learned them the way in a way that you would have to learn them. So I'm teaching from real experience, not Fucking theory. All right. And so, you know, while I would have liked it to take less time, now that I'm here, I'm glad it took longer because I learned all the stuff. But you should listen to people who have been a dumbass like me and had to beat their head against the wall for 20 plus years because we've been through all the you're about to go through and have gone through. So there's a big difference between someone who makes a little bit of money quick. Because, dude, it's just like the saying goes, easy come, easy go. Because, dude, if you make a little money quick, you don't have the skills to maintain it or compound it or keep growing it. You don't know what to do because you never did it. All right, I have.

[DJ]

Yeah, I love that, man. The other part, too, because, I mean, he specifically talked about his family. And I know, like, family could definitely bring in, you know, they want what's best for you. And obviously, I mean, they have some experience. But I like, for some reason this, like, this image came up of like, okay, like, you know, you got. You know, you're a logger. I'm a logger. Right. And you're using a fucking ax. An ax cuts down fucking trees.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, for sure.

[DJ]

I want to use a chainsaw. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, can we talk about just the dynamic? I mean, times, like, what they're maybe using is working for them, because that's how they've been doing it. But.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, look, bro, I mean, you got.

[DJ]

To be able to adapt, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, that's my point. If you. If you just do what someone who has already done says to do you. You miss out on creatively finding a new way that could change the way that your company grows. It could accelerate it, it could kill it, right? It could change the entire landscape of business. All right, what do you. You know the. The guy who dug ditches, right? Like, he digs ditches, and then all of a sudden he's like, I come up with this machine called a ditch witch. It digs the ditch for me. All right, like that. That. You know where that idea probably came from? It probably came from a dude that spent most of his day digging a ditch, and he's like, this is hard, right? But if he were to listen to the guys who dug ditches before him and they said, hey, how do you dig this ditch? He's going to tell you with the shovel. But because he was able to dig the ditch with the shovel and Then have the perspective of digging the dish with the shovel and decided, this is way too hard. They came up with this machine that does it for you, okay? And that would have been impossible had he just listened to the person that was giving him the lesson on how to use the shovel. You see what I'm saying? So we have to balance what we can learn from other people with our own ideas and be able to know when to go with our own ideas or to go with what they said. When we started first form, the entire supplement industry was completely different. It was all, everybody sold through distributors, okay? There was like a two or three big distributors. You sold to them, they sold to the, to the stores, all right? When we came along, we said, we're not going to sell to the distributors. We're going to actually sell direct to the consumer from our own warehouse, which people didn't do back then, all right? And everybody who owned those distributors, when they, when I told them we were going to do that, you know what they said? You're insane. It's not going to fucking work, okay? And you know how many of those distributors are still open? None. And here we are, okay? Now had I listened to them, I'd be right where they are too. You get what I'm saying? So this is a.

[DJ]

Now everybody's selling.

[Andy Frisella]

Now everybody does what we do, right? And I was told that what we were doing was stupid. So that's a perfect, real example of what I'm talking about. I walked out of a meeting one time where one of the owners of one of the big distributors said, dude, that's not going to work. And I said, I think it's going to work. And you know what he said to me? Well then go do it. You know where he is now? I don't know.

[DJ]

I know where you are.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right. He knows where I am too. Guarantee it. Yeah, but like bro, that's the point. Had I listened to him, we'd be right there, wherever the fuck he is.

[DJ]

I fucking love it, man. Guys, we got some young guns, man. We got a third and final question. Question number three. Hey Andy. My name is Luke and I am a 20 year old business owner. First of all, thank you for your work. As you would expect, you have truly changed my life. I used to sell electricity in the back of Walmart's and now I own an exterior cleaning business. We are two and a half months in and doing 30k a month. My question for you is how do you handle stress? I have been in a few stressful situations before, but I have never gotten to the point where it affects me physically until today as an ultra successful business owner. And man, what are some experiences of high level stress you have encountered and what are some things you have implemented to handle it? Thanks, Andy and dj. You guys are the highlight of my stressful day.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, look, man, you're 20 years old, okay? You. You haven't been. Stress is a relative experience. Okay? What's stressful for you, I would laugh at, but only because I've been doing what you're doing for 25 years. All right? So just like when you get in a cold plunge the first day and he freaks you the out and you want, like you're, you're hyper, that's. That's you right now, okay? Dealing with base level stress, as you progress down the pipe of entrepreneurship, you're going to become more acclimated and more acclimated and more acclimated to where, I promise you, in three or four years, you're going to look back to this right now and you're going to laugh about how stressed you were over what you're doing right now. Okay? Now with that being said, I'm not minimizing your stress because to you, it's a massive problem. All right? So here's what you got to do. And this is very hard when you're young. First of all, you got to realize that very few mistakes are fatal. All right? Very few mistakes will kill your business. Now, there are some that will, but they're very few. And the truth of the matter is, the only real thing that can kill your business is you stopping your business. Okay? So it's in your control. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, no matter if you get canceled or embarrassed or you have a crisis, you can always come back if you start, if you, if you fix it and do the right thing. All right? So there's that. Okay? Secondly, when you are an entrepreneur, a lot of times we make excuses to not do things that will naturally make our stress easier to handle, like eating properly, training with weights, running cardio, okay? Being outside. We start to tell ourselves things like, well, dude, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm doing this and this and this. I can, I can be a fat or I could. I used to tell myself this. Like, bro, when I was 300 plus pounds and, and you know, we had a business, I would tell myself, dude, I'm too stressed. No one knows what I'm doing. No one knows what I'm going through. The average person that Works out all the time. They couldn't do what I do every day. So it's okay. And. And here's the truth. It's not okay. All right? And once I started eating properly, once I started training properly, consistently, you know, on the Live Hard program, once I made it a part of my lifestyle, my ability to handle stress went so far up that I. I can't even tell you. It changed my life. And what. When it goes up, what that actually means is the stress that you feel feels way less intense. So that is something that I think every entrepreneur should take seriously. I think every person should take it seriously, but every entrepreneur should take their discipline and their ability to cultivate discipline and be fit serious. That is why the Live Hard program is a lifestyle. It is not a trend. It is not a challenge. It is a lifestyle. That's why it's been around for so long. All right? So I will go listen to Live hard on episode 208 of the podcast or buy the book off the website andyprizella.com and start living that lifestyle. The Live Hard program is meant to be replicated every single year of your life forever. And I guarantee you, if you do, you will get better and better and better and better and better. And your ability to manage stress will get better and better and better, Better with that. And that's important because the bigger you get and the more success you have and the more obligations and responsibilities such as many employees, the stress is much higher. You think you're stressed now? Wait until you have hundreds of employees who's. All their families depend on you to eat. Their kids depend on you for Christmas presents. They're. Everything depends on you. Wait till you're there and you think about stress, okay? And you don't want to get up, and you don't want to do the job, and you don't want to. You don't want to go kick ass. And. And then you remember, dude, if I don't do this, that guy right there that helped me build this company, who has three kids, is going to have a problem feeding those kids. You see what I'm saying? That's real stress, okay? So it's important that you develop your ability to handle it over the course of time if you plan on growing, because it's going to get worse and worse and worse. So, you know, and developing your mental fortitude and your mental discipline is a big part of being able to handle stress, okay? It doesn't matter if you're stressed. It doesn't matter if you're hurt. It doesn't matter if you're upset, it doesn't matter if you're frustrated. If your discipline is on point, your mental toughness on point, you're going to be able to execute in spite of the situation being that way. And you're going to move forward whether you feel good or not. And once you can move forward whether you feel good or not, nobody can fuck with you, okay? Because everybody else quits when things get hard. Everybody else quits when they get sick or they have an excuse or they get in a funk or they get, you know, whatever. If you're able to operate even when things are hard, you can't be with. So I would commit long term, long term to the development of your own mental toughness. Your grit, your fortitude, your. Your discipline, your self belief, your confidence, all of these things. Intentionally develop them. They're not traits, they are skills and they are perishable skills. And if you don't intentionally develop them, you will not have them when you need them. So go listen to the Live Hard program. That's exactly what it does. It develops all these skills and it sharpens them over and over and over. And people, some people are like, well, if it works, why do you got to keep doing it? Well, why do you take a shower every day? Right? Okay, because you stink. All right? Why do you. Why, why do you practice guitar every single day? Because it's a perishable skill. Why do you practice the piano? Like, why do we do anything more than once? Because we have to sharpen our skill set with perishable skills. And you don't understand that. Discipline, grit, fortitude, self belief, all of these things that encompass mental toughness, self esteem, conf. These are skills that we have to develop and then maintain. And for you to go from where you are at 20 years old to where you want to be at 40 years old, you're going to have to have those sharpened over and over and over and again. So live that lifestyle. It's going to make things exponentially easier for you to get where you're going. We can either be hard on ourselves, we can either train ourselves, we can either put ourselves through hell, or we can let the world do it. It's your choice. But I am telling you right now that if you make the commitment to becoming the absolute best version of yourself, mentally and physically, your ability to handle stress will go through the roof, which will allow you to be effective because you will be able to execute at a high level when everybody else freaks the out.

[DJ]

I Love it, man. Now, I. I feel like we should bring this up because, you know, it's. This is really af. This is not no frou frou. Right? But I think it's. It is important because I feel like, especially for this guy, I mean, he's 20 years old, he's at a pivotal age where, you know, you can. You can start getting different vices to help handle with stress, right? Like, whether that be gambling, you go to the casino or drinking, or you go to the bar every weekend. You know what I'm saying? Like, does that, you know, relieve that specific stress? Sure, right there.

[Andy Frisella]

Maybe instant gratification, relief.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

But it actually makes it worse in the long term, right?

[DJ]

We got.

[Andy Frisella]

That's why, like, when people say, I'm so depressed, I need a drink. Yeah, you're going to feel good for a couple hours, but the next three days you're going to want to blow your fucking brains out, okay? We have to be able to look past the instant gratification. And by the way, I'm glad you brought this up, because if you don't know how to do this and you lack the discipline to do this, you're going to spin your wheels because every time you get frustrated, you're going to get a little bit of relief, but then you're going to find yourself in a deeper hole, and that process repeats itself over and over and over and over again until it costs you everything. All right? I don't know. I don't really know anybody who lives that. I got a drink when I'm stressed. Lifestyle that doesn't end up at the bottom of the toilet eventually. All right? So we have to come up with helpful habits that help us manage stress. If you can go in the gym stressed and lift for an hour and still come out stressed, then you're. You're. Yeah. So, yeah, just quit. All right? But the truth of the matter is, is that, like, you know, you really need that. You need some sort of physical release, you know? Like, I don't train with weights because I want to. I mean, I like being in shape, but that's not why I do it, bro. I do it so I can mentally be the best that I can be, right? When we take it from physical, like, the physical benefit of, like, hey, I want to be jacked. I want to look good in the pool. Or I want to. My clothes want to fit. And move it over to the mental of, hey, I want to feel good. I want to have confidence. I want to know that I have control over my Outcome, not the out the circumstances, having control over me. When I start looking at it like a competition between me and that beer, or me and that food, or me and that gambling or whatever your vice is, and I start seeing it as a competition, that's a lot different than saying, oh, I just want to lose weight to look good. That beer, that beer doesn't own me. It doesn't have any power over me. That's a powerful statement, a powerful belief. If you can back it up with your actions. And when you back it up with your actions, it boosts your confidence in yourself, it boosts your discipline, it boosts your belief, it boosts your self esteem. You are now more worthy because you overcame something that used to have power over you. And when you do this intentionally over and over and over and over again throughout the course of your day, like we do with Live Hard, intentionally, now you're in a situation where you're constantly boost, boosting your stats and your, your skill sets. It's just like Madden, bro. You know you're at, you're at a speed of 80, but you want to get to 99, you got to run sprints, dude. And that'll boost your score and it'll boost your score and it'll boost your score. So you got to think of things like discipline and grit and fortitude and self belief and confidence and self esteem. All of these things are things that can be improved. It's like a rating that you're going to pour into and it's, it's going to improve. It's no different than you going in the gym and lifting some weights and your muscles getting bigger. Your brain works the same way. When you force it into uncomfortable situations, when you force it into intentional adversity, it becomes stronger, it becomes tougher. And then the things that come down on us through our day to day lives become that much easier to manage.

[DJ]

I love it, man. Guys, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, guys, let's get out there, kick some ass this week and we'll see you tomorrow for cti.

[Unknown Artist]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now. My jury box froze up. Bo Stove counted millions in a co. Bad booted swole. Got her own bank row. Can't fold. Just a no headshot case.

[Andy Frisella]

Close.