829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Episode 829: Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Release Date: January 20, 2025

In Episode 829 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella, host Andy Frisella delves deep into the challenges of starting anew later in life, the art of accepting constructive criticism, and the relentless nature of personal growth. Through candid discussions and real-life examples, Frisella provides listeners with actionable insights to navigate life's hurdles with resilience and mental toughness.

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1. Introduction to the Q&AF Format

Andy Frisella (B) [00:16]:
"Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers."

Frisella introduces the Q&A format of the episode, encouraging listeners to submit their queries through various channels. He also previews upcoming segments like "Cruise the Internet" and "Real Talk," emphasizing the show's commitment to addressing societal issues and providing genuine advice without advertisements.

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2. Career Transition at 38: Is It Too Late?

Question Overview:
A 38-year-old professional in the hospitality industry seeks guidance on transitioning to graphic design, expressing concerns about age and financial stability.

Frisella's Response [06:08]:
"It's not too late if you decide to change every way you go about it. But it's too late if you're going to be doing the way you've been doing it."

Frisella acknowledges the common dilemma of seeking career changes later in life. He advises ensuring that the desired field aligns with one's passions to avoid setbacks. His strategy involves gradually building skills and experience in graphic design during free time while maintaining the current job for financial stability. Key recommendations include:

• Incremental Transition:
  "Do little jobs and little projects... on your nights and weekends." [07:15]

• Minimizing Expenses:
  "Maybe you got to get a shittier car, maybe you got to get a shittier house. How bad do you want this new life?" [08:10]

• Building a Strong Portfolio:
  Emphasizes the importance of referrals and a robust portfolio to ensure a successful transition.

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3. Embracing Constructive Criticism

Question Overview:
A professional expresses difficulty in accepting feedback without feeling personally attacked and seeks ways to view criticism as growth opportunities.

Frisella's Response [17:04]:
"If you actually want those things, you should be open to critiques and you should be willing to take them and say, okay, that is true." [17:04]

Frisella underscores the critical role of humility in personal and professional development. He challenges listeners to evaluate their willingness to accept feedback by questioning their aspirations:

• Self-Assessment:
  "Do you want to make more money or not?" [17:04]

• Ego Management:
  "Your ego can be too big... or too beat down." [22:13]

• Source Evaluation:
  Advises discerning the credibility of critics, emphasizing that valuable feedback often comes from those who have achieved what one aspires to.

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4. The Relentless Nature of Personal Growth

Question Overview:
A 27-year-old inquires whether life becomes easier over time and how others manage to make challenges appear effortless.

Frisella's Response [23:22]:
"No, it doesn't get easier. In fact, it gets harder." [23:22]

Frisella candidly addresses the misconception that life becomes progressively easier. He explains that as responsibilities and stakes increase, so do the complexities of decision-making:

• Increased Responsibility:
  "When you start in the beginning... the consequences are perceived as large." [23:22]

• Mental Fortitude:
  Discusses the importance of developing resilience through programs like 75 Hard and Live Hard to maintain consistent execution despite challenges.

• Delayed Gratification:
  Uses the analogy of the Chinese bamboo tree to illustrate the necessity of patience and persistent effort before witnessing significant growth:

  "You have to have water, it has to have care, it can't be disturbed." [25:00]

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5. Impact of Instant Gratification and Social Media

Discussion Points:
Frisella critiques the modern culture of instant gratification fueled by technology and social media. He argues that this environment hampers the development of patience and perseverance, essential traits for long-term success.

• Cultural Shift:
  "Everything has changed to be more convenient, faster, instant." [32:00]

• Social Media's Role:
  Highlights how influencers often portray success as effortless, misleading young entrepreneurs:

  "Entrepreneurs like to pretend like the hardest things are actually easy for them." [35:09]

• Authenticity vs. Perception:
  Emphasizes the importance of genuine struggle in personal narratives over curated images of ease to foster realistic expectations among aspiring individuals.

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6. Concluding Insights

Throughout the episode, Andy Frisella reinforces the idea that enduring success is forged through relentless effort, strategic planning, and an unyielding mindset. He motivates listeners to embrace challenges, accept constructive criticism, and continuously strive for personal excellence.

Final Encouragement [39:42]:
"Let's go out there. Big week this week. Culture's gonna change. Win is coming back. Let's get out there and kick some ass." [39:42]

Frisella closes the episode with a rallying call for listeners to take actionable steps towards their goals, embodying the show's ethos of authenticity and resilience.

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Notable Quotes:

• On Career Transition:
  "How bad do you want this new life? How bad do you want this new career?" [08:10]

• On Constructive Criticism:
  "People who end up not broke are people who take criticisms and take critiques... even if they're directed at a personal level." [18:03]

• On Personal Growth:
  "You can't go write a letter to God and say, hey, man, pretty hard down here. That doesn't work." [26:35]

• On Instant Gratification:
  "The instant gratification that we deal with in society is super damaging." [31:41]

---

This episode serves as a compelling guide for individuals grappling with career changes, seeking personal improvement, and navigating the psychological challenges of growth. Andy Frisella's forthright approach and practical advice offer a roadmap for those committed to overcoming obstacles and achieving their aspirations.

Transcript

[A]

Yeah Went from sleeping on the floor.

[B]

Now my jury box froze up Bow.

[A]

Up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold just a no head shot Case closed.

[B]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Prisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.

[A]

Questions into askandyandiefrosella.com or you go on.

[B]

YouTube in the comment section of the Q and A episode, drop your question in there and we'll pick some from there as well. Now, throughout the week, and this is going to be a very busy week for the show. We're going to have cti. That stands for cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. What's going on in world and society. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. Now, there is a huge group of people starting 75 hard today. And I would recommend that you do if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard. It is the initial phase of the live hard program. Okay? And like I said, you can get that for free at episode 208. There's also a book called the book on mental toughness. You can get [e-mail] when it's in stock. It outlines the entire live hard program. Top to bottom, left to right, in and out, if you like the details. It's a great book. Plus it has a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to utilize it to change your life. Okay? And then when we have our 75 hard versus episodes, people have completed the 75 hard program. Come on and talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use that program to transform their lives. All right, Like I said, huge group starting today. I would start today. Now, we are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads because we make a little barter with you, a little deal. The deal is very simple. Share the show. Okay? We put a lot of time and energy into the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, you think it's good, if you think it's good information, if you learn something, if it brings a new perspective, if it's entertaining, do us a favor and share the show, okay? We're constantly dealing with all kinds of censorship. Hopefully that will end soon, but it hasn't yet. But we're still going to keep that deal with no ads and share the show. So do us a solid. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up, dude?

[A]

What's going on, man? Dude, I feel like time's moving quick. We're like, already halfway through the first month of the year, bro.

[B]

I feel like the opposite. I feel like January is, like, dragging on, dude.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Isn't that so weird? I mean, is that the whole times relative thing, man?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I feel like it's speeding past. Like we're already almost done with this month. It's crazy.

[B]

I don't know, man. I feel the opposite. That went down the wrong pipe there. Yeah. Got in my vocals.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta be careful with that.

[B]

I know. Yeah. I don't got all that practice you got.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. All right.

[B]

I need you to school me up a little bit.

[A]

I don't know how to do it.

[B]

I mean, fuck, dude. Can't be an expert at everything.

[A]

Listen, you get with me after air and we can figure something out, I'm sure.

[B]

Hey, did you guys ever find that new co host application? Did you guys ever get on that?

[A]

You said you wanted to learn.

[B]

I'll teach it.

[A]

No, I was just thinking. I mean, because halfway through the first month, January is always an interesting time for a lot of people. And so I got some really awesome questions for you, but they're all kind of just focused on, you know, the. The more personal side, you know, because people are battling some issues going halfway through. It's always right around this time, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, this is the time of year where everybody says the same shit, bro. I'm gonna. This is gonna be the year I. I'm going to change my life. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do this. And by the second weekend, third weekend, which is where we are now, everybody gives the up, okay? And then they wonder. They spend the rest of the year miserable because they weren't able to get their together. They live a life they don't want. They. They look the way they don't want. They make the money they don't want, and then they think they just got screwed by the world. No, bro, you screwed yourself. Yeah, that's the reality.

[A]

Halfway through the first month, like, all right, well, we'll just try next year.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like people who. On their diet, you know, they. They mess up on Tuesday, and they're like, oh, I'm gonna start again on Monday, right? And between Tuesday and Monday, they stuff themselves because they're like, oh, I'm gonna start Monday. And then Monday comes, and they mess up on the next Wednesday, then they stuff themselves, and then they end up a hundred pounds overweight. Ask me how I know that, because I live that for a long time, dude. And if we could just get people to understand that if we fix your ability to adhere to a program, you can do anything you want. That's the ultimate problem here. The ultimate problem is you don't know how to do things when you don't feel like doing them. And when you can fix that, you can fix everything.

[A]

Yeah, man. Well, let's do it then. Let's get into some. Some. Some. Some real. Real hard truths that need to be discussed. A lot of people going through some different things. So let's get into these questions, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, I've been working in hospitality for over a decade. I'm burned out and ready for a change. I've always been interested in graphic design and even took some courses online during the pandemic, but I have no formal experience in the field. At 38, I feel like it's too late to start over, especially with financial pressures. How do I pivot into a completely new career without starting from scratch or risking my stability?

[B]

Well, look, dude, that's. That's a common thing that a lot of people have to deal with over a few different times in their life. Usually, the first thing I would like to say to you is, are you sure that's what you want to do? Because a lot of times, you know, things look good and shiny and new over here, and we're bored with what it is that we're doing. And then we jump from something that we're pretty good at to something we don't know anything about, and we set ourselves back years. Okay, so you don't want to do that. So you want to make sure that it's something that you want to do. Now, if you're already doing it and you're already taking classes and you're already practicing a good way to transition from where you are that has stability into a new field that does not have stability yet is to do it a little bit at a time, okay? Keep your career where it is. And then on your nights and your weekends and your free time, you start doing little jobs and little projects and little bit work for hire for different people, getting experience, getting a resume, getting good word of mouth recommendations, okay? And by the way, getting practice of how to actually service a customer. Not just make the design, but how to do so in a way that blows them away and makes them excited and makes them want to refer you to other people. Because let's face, face it, if you can't get referrals from the business that you have, you're probably not very good at what you do. And if you can't get those referrals, you're going to have a hard time getting to a place of stability, you know, from where you are now. So pivot a little bit at a time. Nights, weekends, free time, do these projects. And as the income starts to grow over here, you could start to reduce your amount over at your career and then eventually make the jump over. Another thing that you should do during this time is you should minimize expenses if you need to downsize your apartment or your house, you know, or, or your car. Things that are quote unquote luxuries for you right now. And I realize you probably aren't driving a Rolls Royce and you know, you're probably like, well, I'm just driving a reg. Well, you know what, man, Maybe you got to get a shittier car, maybe you got to get a shittier house. How bad do you want this new life? How bad do you want this new career? And the reality of, you know, most people is they won't take a step back to take three or four or ten steps forward, right? They want to keep that big car payment, they want to keep that apartment or that house that they're comfortable in. And they want it all. But you can't have it all. So keep the career. You have part time over here. Practice, get good word of mouth, get a good resume, build a good portfolio. Slowly switch over. And before you do any of that, lower all the expenses that you have.

[A]

Yeah, people don't want to sleep on a pissed match.

[B]

Yeah, bro. And that's part of the deal. Part of the deal is you got to go through that time. You're not going to be the first person in history that's going to get where they want to go without facing the adversity of Struggling financially, struggling socially, struggling with balance, right? We have this problem in society where everybody wants everything, but they don't want to pay a price for anything. Okay? And the great things in life, they take steps back to make steps forward, okay? That's the reality. So we have to understand, dude, if you really want what you say you want, you're gonna have to make some sacrifices that are actually investments because there is a payoff on the back side. And I think if people reframe that perspective from, oh, I'm making all these sacrifices to. No, I'm making investments because these are all going to pay off long term. That's a different game. It's easier to get up and go to battle when you know that what you're struggling with right now is going to have a payoff. And that's the way the world works, dude. You know, if you own a business, you know you're going to push for three or four years before you get real progress. And then once you get real progress, you're going to have a ride for three or four years. And then, you know, you're going to have to re pivot and you're going to have to readjust and rebuild, re acclimate and make a new plan and then push for another three years. It's phases, dude, and it's phases in your life too, just not in business. It's in your life. If you want to change, you're going to have to push and there's going to be a delay, gratification, time frame where you're showing up, you're working hard, you're giving everything you have, but nothing's happening. And that time can be extremely frustrating. And the reason that most people can't win is because they can't make it through that time of frustration to get to the other side. There's a reason that there's the saying it's always darkest before the dawn. Okay. Because, dude, when you feel like you're going to quit and you feel like things aren't going to work if you just keep pushing, that's when the things tend to work out.

[A]

Another thing too, I want to, I want to bring up because. And you hit on this about, you know, using the, the spare time to develop yourself. And I, and I've actually seen this in play with you and how you run your company. So you tell your employees that all the time, like, you're not going to get better at the nine and five. Nine to five.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You know, I'm saying because let's, let's talk. Let's go a little bit more deeper into that.

[B]

Like how.

[A]

What's the, what's the hang up with that? Why do people not understand? Because that concept.

[B]

Because people think that their free time is their free time. They think that when I'm off work, I don't have to work. And when. Bro, honestly, it's such an amateur misunderstanding. It almost pisses me off. Actually does piss me off.

[A]

I mean, it ruins people, though.

[B]

No, dude, 100. You only have so much time, bro. You got 24 hours in a day just like everybody else. When you go to work, you're expected to execute on a job. You're not expected to increase your skill set or get a lot of practice reps or take your courses or your read your books. That is the you do at home, okay? You do that in your free time. Quote, unquote free time. And you could spend your free time, you know, partying with your homies and doing all the. But you can't expect your skills to grow if you're not actually actively trying to grow your skills. And guess what? Skills pay the bills. And if you don't have them, you're going to be broke. That's reality. So you have to decide how important is it to you? Is it important enough for you to skip out on beers with the bros and movie night with, you know, Susie Rotten Crotch, you know what I'm saying? Like some chick you don't even want to be with, you know, or spend time around? Is your future worth that? I think it is. You know what I'm saying? I think you'll think it is too when you're making 10 times the income that you're making now and your life's together and you're. You live in a nice house, you got a nice partner that is actually someone that you know is on the level. You want. You. You got some nice cars, you're doing well. You're going to say, fuck, dude, I'm glad I did that. But because you can't see it right now, you see it as this big sacrifice. Oh, man, I gotta go hang out with the bros on guys night, bro. That. Okay, they're all gonna be broke in 10 years and you don't want to be. So your time should be spent improving skill set. Like, dude, I disappeared for 15 years. Disappeared from social scene for 15 years. You know why? Because I had to get my skill set up. I didn't know how to run a company. So you know what I had to do? I had to do I could to learn how. Right? And that's not just me showing up every day and throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping some of it sticks, bro. That's me going home, reading books, you know, studying other entrepreneurs, calling other people that own businesses, having meetings, learning things. You know, back when I was doing this, there wasn't like this big quote unquote mentorship online which by the way is 99 useless anyway because all these haven't done anything. But there wasn't guys like me or at Mylett who have built big ass companies doing things like Arete Syndicate where you could get in there. There wasn't people like me doing MF CEO project which launches in two weeks again, right? That shit didn't exist. There was books and then there was, you know, who you knew and how could you have a meeting with them? How could you get close to them? And like, dude, I had a bunch of small business owners that I happen to meet and know and I would do lunch with them or I would try to, you know, be around them as much as possible instead of hanging out with a bunch of dudes who just want to get up at the bar. And by the way, I like that, that was fun. But it's way more fun now when I could do whatever the I want.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. So you have to understand, dude, that time that you think you know is people have this entitled mentality, bro. Oh, that's my time. That's my. Oh yeah, okay, it is. Are you working to get better? Are you, are you going to work to get better so you could provide for your family, so you can provide for yourself or are you going to sit on your fat ass and watch tv? Right? It is your time and you get to choose what to do with it. So that's real. Yeah. And you get, you get what you put in, dude. It's just what it is. And people don't think that they have this way of selling them, selling themselves on a story that like, oh, well, that, you know, I'm gonna put in all this work and I'm gonna do all these things and I'm gonna do. And it's still not gonna work out. And that's what they sell themselves on so that they can go have the beers or go fuck off with the guys, you know, and it's just not true, dude.

[A]

Last thing I want to, I want to hit on with this question too. This, this person is 38 years old. Can we talk about this concept of starting too late? Is it too late Is there like a definition?

[B]

No, it's not too late, bro. But it's too late if you're going to be doing the way you've been doing it. Okay? If you're gonna, you know, off and do half ass work and, you know, kind of float and hope that it's gonna work and. And do what you've done to get to 38 and be unhappy, yeah, it's too late, okay? If you're gonna change your entire operating system and get disciplined and execute and take your time, serious, and win every day and build your skill set, no, it's not too late. But had you been doing this until you were 38, you'd already be a rich. So I know you're not doing it now. So if you approach the new thing like you did the old thing, yeah, it's too late. But it's not too late if you decide to change every way you go about it.

[A]

I love it, man. Yeah, I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy. I recently got some feedback at work that I came across as defensive during a team meeting. I didn't realize how much criticism bothers me until I started reflecting on it. I want to learn to accept constructive feedback without taking it personally, but it's hard to not feel attacked. How can I shift my mindset and see criticism as an opportunity to grow?

[B]

Do you want to get better or not? Do you want to make more money or not? Do you want to have a nice house or not? You want to have a nice life or not? If you don't get your little hurt about every time someone says something to you, pout, cry, don't listen, think you're right, think you know everything, and then, you know, make it a big deal every time someone criticizes you. If you actually want those things, you should be open to critiques and you should be willing to take them and say, okay, that is true. I need to work on this. I need to improve here. And that will impr. And then be thankful for it, okay? It's a totally polar opposite attitude. We have people who get their feelings hurt and cry and moan and make excuses and say, oh, well, you know, they're not right. I'm right. Those people end up broke, okay? People who end up not broke are people who take criticisms and take critiques, even if they're directed at a personal level and say, yeah, dude, all right, I got that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So the more that you can take critique wise and accept and be happy that you have it, the better you're going to Get. The less you could take, the worse you're going to get. And one of them pays well and one of them does not. So do you want to be rich? Do you want to make money? Do you want to be successful? Or do you want to be a broke little fucking booger?

[A]

I think you hit on some. Is it true?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

I think that, like, that the part where you said, is it true, though? Like, is the criticism true?

[B]

Yeah, well, a lot of times, dude, it just depends. A lot of times people can't remove their ego out of the way to accept something as truth. Yeah, right. That's the point. Like, people will be like, oh, that's not fucking true.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Well, maybe it's not, but is it?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right? Like, I don't think you take everybody's criticism. Like, dude, when these morons on the Internet say shit about me, I don't give a fuck. Like, bro, I don't want your life. I don't want to look like you. I don't want to make the money you're making. I don't want your any. I don't want to drive your car. I don't want to live in your house. So why the do I give a what you have to say about me? Right? But if someone who is successful says, hey, you should work on this, I'm going to stop and I'm going to say, h. And I'm going to think back and I'm going to audit all those situations moving up to this point in time and be like, you know, is that true? And then kind of work through these different scenarios and say, yeah, I did that there. I did this here. That is something I could work on. That is something I could get better at. And then. And then look at the person, be like, bro, thank you for pointing that out. When you become a mature, you know, man or woman and you're seriously driven to be better, you're going to understand that criticism and coaching is part of the thing that you need to be thankful for. But as you pointed out, you got to be careful who you take it from. And I wouldn't take it from anybody that doesn't have the life that you want unless it's someone who used to have the life that you want that no longer has it because they can tell you how to avoid losing it.

[A]

It almost makes me think, too, because, like, on the other hand, you know, you have people that will not tell you what's wrong or not tell you the truth and tell you everything's okay.

[B]

You have people who will tell you shit. That's not even it. Dj. You have people that will tell you shit that's not true? Try. Fuck you up. You don't even understand how fucking dirty people are. Girls are like that. Girls will fuck. Oh, yeah. Girls will do that to each other all the time. We all know it.

[A]

Right?

[B]

They'll tell. They'll tell them. How's this look? Oh, that looks great. Knowing that it doesn't look good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, now imagine in business when you're competing with a bunch of people, you don't think that happens. So you're going to have a lot of people that are going to tell you things that aren't true to get in your head and try to you up. So you got to be real good about who you listen to and who you don't. And you got to learn how to tune certain things out. And if they aren't where you want to be, they don't make the money you want to make. They don't have the life you want to live. You shouldn't listen to them. And. And if they do give you a critique and you're not sure, you should dig in and see, hey, what did this person do? What have they built? Where is their headquarters? Where are their employees? How. What have they done to get to this point where they think they can give me advice? I mean, the reality is, dude, most people have no idea. And they're so comfortable giving advice on anything. Any of you guys who have ever had kids know how much people want to give advice on kids? And then you look at their kids, and their kids are little bags, right? Yeah. Like, their kids are running around like wild animals and they're giving you advice, Right? That's. That's the same that happens in business, bro. People. People are $5 away from being broke, but they're giving you financial advice. They've never run a lemonade stand, but they're telling you how to run your company, right? This is the shit that people do. They want to fucking feel good. They. They think they know that they don't. And most people are. You know, they're. They have an inflated ego. They think they're. They're more important than they actually are.

[A]

I was going to ask you. That's the same thing with that not taking criticism. It sounds like it's boiling down to just being an ego issue.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Both sides.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, bro, your. Your ego. Your ego can be too big to where you ignore good criticism. It could be too beat down to where you take all the criticism, and then you have no direction on where you're going. So you got to find a balance in there. You got to know what you know, you got to know what you don't know. You got to know who you should listen to, and you got to know who you shouldn't listen to. And these are things that you have to figure out. And if you don't figure them out, you're going to be confused. And when you're confused, it makes it hard to effectively operate your life and your project of income or business or job or whatever you got going on.

[A]

Yeah, I love it, man. Well, guys, we got. We got question number three. We got one more for you. This is an interesting question. Let's check this one out, guys. Andy, question number three. And I'm 27 years old, and my question is very simple. Does it get easier? I understand that. It's life, right? You get the crap beat out of you a few times, but does it get easier? And if it does, then when and if it doesn't, how do so many people make it look easy? I appreciate everything you do.

[B]

No, it doesn't get easier. In fact, it gets harder, okay? And I know that's hard for people to understand, but when you start in the beginning, the decisions you make while they have perceived large consequences, what's the worst that could happen? You up your. And you're back to zero where you were last week. Okay? When you actually are at a higher level, you're making decisions that don't just benefit you or affect you, but you're making decisions that affect everybody. Right now, in my life, if I make a decision in business, there's thousands of people that have to deal with that decision. Twenty years ago, when I made that same decision, it was six people, right? Okay? So it's totally different. It does not get, quote, unquote, easier. It just gets different, all right? You don't have the same struggles that you had when you have some money as when you didn't have money, but you got different ones, all right? And, like, people say, oh, more money, more problems. No, it's more money, different problems. Okay? Because I don't have to worry about me going out to dinner and paying the bill. Right? Or, like, sweating that. Like, dude, I hope she doesn't order that. Right, right. Like, but real thing, too, sometimes 100.

[A]

Oh, yeah, bro.

[B]

You think I don't remember that? Yeah, bro, I remember being on dates and sweating my balls off, hoping that she didn't order the steak.

[A]

I'll Just take a water. Yeah, yeah, bro.

[B]

Like, bro, we've all been there. So. So we have to get to an understanding that it's not going to get easier. You have to get stronger. And that is why the Live Hard program is so successful. It's why 75 hard is so successful, because it takes people who are mentally soft, and it shows them that if they can control their internal dialogue, which they can, and they can execute when they don't feel like it, you become in control of almost all the outcomes in your life. Most people can only execute when they feel good. If you could be someone who can execute whether you feel good or whether you feel like, and you can execute at a high level, that means that the 30% of the time where they feel good and the 66.666% of the time where they feel like and they're not executing, you have a 66% advantage over the time that you're executing that they don't, which means you're doing two thirds more work than what they're doing. Okay? It's math. So you have to train yourself to become someone who is resilient, who has fortitude, who has grit, who could persevere, who could pay attention to their boss voice, not their voice, and can execute against the things that they know are going to move them where they want to go, even when they don't feel like it. And if you could do that, it will become, quote, unquote, easier. You will perceive it to be easier. It will not be easier. You will be stronger. Okay? But that's the only thing you can do because you can't go write a letter to God and say, hey, man, pretty hard down here.

[A]

Take it easy.

[B]

Yeah. Like, hey, I'd appreciate if you made it easier for me. That doesn't work. Okay? But what does work is learning how to control the decisions that you make 100% of the time, which give you control of most of the outcomes in your life, that is what makes it feel easier. All right? But no, dude, if you continue to operate the same way you're operating and you continue to, you know, just hope that it's going to get easier, it doesn't. It does not get easier. I remember having a conversation with a. A guy who was sort of a mentor to me one time, and I met him for lunch, dude. And this guy was a. At the time, he was a big fucking deal. And I remember sitting. We were. We. We had lunch. We were sitting at a bar, and we were just talking, and I. I Looked at him and I said, hey, dude. You know, because at that time in business, every day that the end of day numbers and the performance came in, I let it affect me in a big way. So like, I would get my numbers at 10:00 at night and if they were bad, I couldn't sleep. If they were good, I couldn't sleep because they were good. Right? Like so, so every day I was looking at this performance and it was driving me crazy. And I was about 10 years into business here and I looked at him and I said, hey bro, when does that stop? And he goes, dude, it doesn't stop. He's like, he laughed, he laughed at me. He goes, it never stops. And he's right, it never does stop. And it's never stopped. That was, I don't know, 15 years ago, 16 years ago. It's never stopped. I still, I'm still the same way, but I don't have the emotional ups and downs anymore because I've learned to be confident in my actions and I know that I'm executing on a daily, daily basis. So if I'm executing on a daily basis and I've been doing it long enough to know that that's what produces the results, then I have confidence in my actions that they're going to bear fruit in the direction that I want to go. Right? And that takes away the uncertainty, that takes away the fear, that takes away the, you know, the perception of hardness. And it just becomes what you do every day. So it's all about controlling your own ability to make decisions, the decisions that you know you need to make, and then allowing yourself to build confidence in the fact that your inputs are going to equal outputs, and then putting all the inputs in consistently and then understanding that it really doesn't matter what happened today, because what I did today isn't going to bear fruit for 30, 60, 90 days down the road. Does that make sense? So, so now I know that I'm planting the seeds. I know there's going to be a harvest, so I'm not freaking the out. It doesn't feel as hard. Does that make sense? All you can do is what the you can do, bro. And if you can do the things you know you need to do, and you could do them every day, eventually you will be in a place where you understand that those seeds are going to bear fruit. Okay? You ever heard of the Chinese bamboo tree? Chinese bamboo tree, you plant the in the ground, okay? And for five years, it stays in the ground for five years. Doesn't show any sprouting, doesn't show any signs of life. Now if the farmer goes out and digs up the seed in three days because it didn't grow, what's going to happen? Nothing ain't ever going to grow, right? So you have to have, it has to have water, it has to have care, it can't be disturbed. And then five years later, it grows to a height of 80ft in like six weeks. Okay? So that is how your career will work. That is how projects work. When you plant the seed, you have to water it, you can't disturb it. You have to keep doing, making sure you're taking care of it. And eventually it goes real fast. That's. That's how your life's going to work. That's how your business is going to work. It's like, it's just a master class and delayed gratification. And most people can't push through the delay part to ever get to the gratification. They've never, they've never been able to learn how it actually works. So if they don't know how it works, you know, when the time feels like it's too long or it's taking too long, they quit and they start over, dude. And this is why most people, you know, they do something for two, three, four years and then they switch their careers completely and they're like, oh, that wasn't for me. I didn't like it when, dude, real talk, they were probably on the verge of having a major breakthrough.

[A]

You're two weeks away from it.

[B]

Correct. And so, dude, you have this two to four year cycle where people work and then they get frustrated and then they, and then they quit and they change, all right? And now they're starting over from zero again. So now you've got another two to four years to learn the craft, put in the work, put in the time, become disciplined, become a. And then you get there and you're like, oh. And then they, they start over again. You do that three times, that's 12 years. You see what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah. The 80 foot bamboo tree by now.

[B]

Three of them, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, it is a. It is a. The instant gratification that we deal with in society is super damaging. Right? People get on the Internet, especially with young people, they get on the Internet, they can talk to their friends across the world with the click of a button. They can order food, it's there in 10 minutes. They could throw in a microwave and it's, it's cooked in three minutes. The everything they want to do movies on demand call it. It hasn't always been that way. It's not always been that way in culture and life like you were, you know, Dude, I grew up in a time where you couldn't talk to your friends across the world with the click of a fucking button, bro. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, okay? You weren't connected when you left the house, all right? There was a bunch of cultural differences that, you know, there was no grubhub. There was no instant food, bro. I remember when they started. Listen, dude, I can remember when pizza delivery started. It became started. Yes, because, bro, it wasn't a big thing. And then all of a sudden, dude, you could get a pizza at your house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, do people that are young have no idea how much the world's changed in such a short amount of time? And because the world has changed to all these instant things, people have lost their ability to persevere. They have lost their ability to be patient. They've lost their ability to push through. And because the natural environment that we live in doesn't lend itself to learning patience or learning how to persevere, we have to put ourselves in intentionally hard situations that force us to experience delayed gratification, which is another thing that Live hard does. And then 75 hard does. It's a necessary boot camp for people to understand how to develop the qualities that end up making them successful in anything that they do. Okay? But you can't expect young kids who have never had to exercise patience of any sort to understand patience, right? And that's a big problem, because to become successful, it's going to take patience. That's the one thing that hasn't changed. So everything else has changed. Everything's more convenient, everything's faster, everything's instant. But your career and your business didn't change that way. You still got to show up way past the time where you're, you know, excited about it, and you've got to execute for the results to happen. And that's reality, dude. And unfortunately, you know, most people that are listening to this are between the ages of 18 and 35. And most of those people haven't had a life that made them learn these skills naturally, okay? And that's why you have to intentionally do them. That's why we have the book on mental toughness. That's why the Live Hard program exists. I built it for you guys so that you guys could train yourselves to have these skills and these qualities that are going to make you successful long term.

[A]

Last thing I want to hit on, man. Maybe this might be for another episode, you know? But this last piece of the question, too, I was just sitting here thinking is, like, why do so many people make it look easy? That's the other part, too, with the social media, man, is that you got to keep in mind people. You're seeing what people want you to see.

[B]

Correct? And there's really. When you deal with influencers on social media, bro, like, you gotta understand, when you tell someone, man, this is easy, they're more likely to buy it. Okay? When you tell someone, hey, listen, dude, there is no easy way. This is going to take everything you have. Do. Do you think they want to buy that?

[A]

I go look somewhere else.

[B]

It's hard to sell that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. And then on top of it, social media in general is an egotistical platform. All right? Now, I. I understand. We all have to do it. We all have to put ourselves out there. We all have to toot our own horn, because if we don't toot our own horn, nobody's going to toot it for us. So I understand we've got to step out, We've got to be, you know, a little bold. But at its heart, it's a narcissistic, egotistical platform. It's a. Look at me, look at me, look at me, right? It is what it is. It's necessary for business at this point in time for most people.

[A]

All right?

[B]

So I'm not knocking it. I mean, if you're gonna have them look at you, you might as well be a rock star, show them the best. I'm just saying, right? But there's a problem with that, especially when it comes to entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs are competitive people. Entrepreneurs like to tell other entrepreneurs how good they are, and they like to pretend like the hardest things are actually easy for them. And the problem with that is, is that you put this out there because you want to seem like you've got it all figured out. And it's so easy for you, and you have all these natural skills, and you're better than all the other entrepreneurs out there. But here's the problem, bro. That young kid who's 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, that guy's looking at you, and it's hard as for him, and he's like, it must be me. It must be me. That's messed up. Because this is easy. And it's. And so, like, dude, I've never. I've never bought into that. I'VE always tried to tell people, like, look, dude, this is the hardest thing you're gonna ever do. It's going to take everything you got. It's going to cost you your old life, a hundred percent, all your old friends, all your old relationships. But it's going to be worth it over time because everything else that comes in your life is going to serve the vision and the goal of what you're trying to become. So it's a good thing. It's just hard to go through. And because we have so many even real entrepreneurs, we have some good, real entrepreneurs that make it seem like they're better than they are. And I know these motherfuckers in real life, like, these guys will call me and they'll be like, fuck, dude, what do you think they're stressing out, right? But. But you go on the Internet and I'm talking about the biggest names out there, dude. And you go on the Internet and they're like, oh, yeah, just do this and that and this. This is easy. Blah, blah, blah, bro, it's. It's not easy. It's hard as fuck. And we don't do anybody any favors by making it seem easy just to appease our ego so that we can look like we're better than the next guy. You know what makes us look better than the next guy? Winning bigger than the next guy. You know what also makes us look better than the next guy? Creating as much success as we possibly can. And the way that we create as much success as we possibly can for other people is by telling them the truth about how fucking hard it actually is and then preparing them to go down that road, okay? Instead of just saying, oh, man, what's wrong with you? You can't make. You can't make 50 grand a day, you know? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can't. You can't do that. So it's not a real. It's not a real. It. It. I don't know. It's. I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say. We have a culturally fucked up society because of the environment and the technology that we have available to us to where they have a hard time understanding that things that matter are still very hard and take a lot of time. And that's the biggest handicap that we have with young people. And so I've always tried. And you can go back and check my receipts. I've always tried to tell people, man, like, I'm pretty good at what I do. I'm real good at what I do, okay? I'm not going to sit here and fucking play it down. I'm fucking one of the best in the world at what the fuck I do, and it's hard as fuck for me. It's hard as fuck for me, so. I know it's hard for you, okay? So here's my advice. Get better. Get stronger. Build more skills. Build discipline. Once you have the ability to have discipline and you can adhere to any plan that is laid out before you, there's nothing you can't do. Okay? So that's my advice on that.

[A]

I love it, man. Yeah, I love it, guys. Andy, that's three. Hell of a way to start on Monday.

[B]

Yeah. Guys, let's go out there. Big week this week. Culture's gonna change. Win is coming back. Let's get out there and kick some ass.

[A]

Sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove counted millions in the cold Bad booted swole.

[B]

Got her own bank roll can't fold.

[A]

That'S a no head shot case.