832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode: 832. Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures
Release Date: January 27, 2025
Host/Author: Andy Frisella
Description: Entrepreneur Andy Frisella and his guests discuss, debate, and laugh their way through trending topics and hot-button issues. (Also the home of Andy's top-ranked MFCEO Project Podcast)

---

Introduction

In Episode 832 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella, titled "Q&AF: Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures," Andy delves into the challenges of perfectionism, striving for greater ambitions, and overcoming significant setbacks. The episode features a Q&A format where listeners' questions are addressed with Andy's trademark honesty and motivational insights.

---

Section 1: Embracing Imperfection and Letting Go of Perfectionism

Timestamp: [04:23]

One of the primary questions addressed is about the struggle with perfectionism and the need to embrace imperfection without settling for mediocrity. Andy emphasizes that striving for perfection can hinder growth and skill development.

• Andy Frisella: "Perfection will keep you ignorant and unskilled. If you were perfect all the time, how could you learn how to be any better?" [04:23]

He argues that mistakes are invaluable as they build resilience, grit, and the necessary skills for long-term success. Instead of fearing imperfection, Andy encourages listeners to "be thankful that you're making these mistakes in the beginning when nobody's really paying attention to you," [04:23] highlighting that early-stage errors are less costly than those made later in high-stakes environments.

---

Section 2: The Finite Nature of Potential and Continuous Improvement

Timestamp: [08:57]

Andy discusses the concept of potential being limited by time and underscores the importance of continuous improvement. He states that driven individuals are always pushing their boundaries because they recognize that their abilities and knowledge are ever-expanding.

• Andy Frisella: "If you subscribe to the idea of always improving, always getting better, actualizing your own potential, you're never going to be able to reach your potential because you're gaining skills along the way." [08:57]

He emphasizes living with the mindset of "giving it everything you have" to maximize one's contributions and minimize future regrets about unrealized potential.

---

Section 3: Impact of Near-Death Experiences on Motivation

Timestamp: [13:07]

Andy shares a personal story about being stabbed at 23, which profoundly impacted his drive and commitment. This near-death experience taught him the value of time and propelled him into becoming an aggressively driven individual.

• Andy Frisella: "Your time is finite. When that happened, I went from just being real to being an aggressively driven individual because of that." [13:07]

He asserts that such experiences can transform one's outlook, fueling the determination to pursue goals relentlessly.

---

Section 4: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Pursuing Greater Ambitions

Timestamp: [15:33]

Addressing a listener's question about advancing within a prestigious medical system, Andy dismantles the common belief that others have inherent advantages. He encourages self-belief and continuous self-improvement.

• Andy Frisella: "What is it about you that makes you incapable compared to everybody else? The answer is nothing. The answer is the belief in your ability to achieve." [15:33]

He criticizes societal and educational systems for instilling limiting beliefs and urges listeners to "create impact and value in your customer base," suggesting that genuine contribution leads to sustainable success.

---

Section 5: Handling Success and Avoiding Self-Sabotage

Timestamp: [28:12]

In responding to a listener nearing bankruptcy after initial business success, Andy discusses self-sabotage and the importance of recognizing and learning from mistakes.

• Andy Frisella: "Self-sabotage, bro. You just didn't know how to handle any kind of good happening. It's a normal lesson of entrepreneurship." [28:12]

He advises writing down the lesson learned and making it visible as a constant reminder to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Moreover, Andy emphasizes shifting focus from personal gratification to creating value for others.

---

Section 6: Appropriate Celebration of Success and Financial Prudence

Timestamp: [31:22]

When asked about the right way to celebrate wins, Andy points out that true successful individuals don't flaunt their achievements recklessly. Instead, they maintain class and use their success to inspire others.

• Andy Frisella: "Be classy, be cool. Reward yourself, but realize that people are not going to like you no matter what you do." [31:22]

He warns against succumbing to social media pressures to display wealth prematurely, advocating for living below one's means and focusing on sustainable growth.

---

Section 7: Building Real Value Over Superficial Success

Timestamp: [33:14]

Andy critiques the superficial displays of success often seen on social media, stressing the importance of building genuine value and impact.

• Andy Frisella: "You have never conceptualized the amount of money that you can make if you went out and built something real." [33:14]

He highlights that true wealth comes from creating real businesses and delivering value, which in turn funds a fulfilling lifestyle without the need for ostentatious displays.

---

Concluding Insights

Throughout the episode, Andy Frisella consistently emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, resilience, and a relentless pursuit of excellence. He encourages listeners to:

• Embrace and learn from mistakes rather than striving for unattainable perfection.
• Continuously seek personal and professional growth, understanding that potential is limited by time.
• Use personal setbacks as catalysts for greater drive and determination.
• Focus on creating value and impact to achieve sustainable success.
• Celebrate achievements responsibly without falling for superficial displays of wealth.
• Live below their means and prioritize long-term goals over immediate gratification.

Notable Quotes:

• "You choose your hard." [26:37]
• "Don't be a douchebag." [32:43]
• "Choose to create impact and value in your customer base." [15:33]

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 832 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella serves as a powerful reminder to listeners about the virtues of perseverance, humility, and intentional living. Andy's candid responses and motivational advice provide actionable insights for entrepreneurs and driven individuals striving to overcome challenges and achieve meaningful success.

---

This summary encapsulates the key discussions and insights from Episode 832, ensuring that even those who haven't listened can grasp the episode's essence and apply its lessons to their own lives.

Transcript

[Unknown Artist]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head shot. Case closed.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up? Guys, it's Andy Prisella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. You could submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.

[Co-Host]

Questions into ask andy andy4seller.com or you go on YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Drop your question in the comments section on the Q and A episodes. We'll choose some from there as well. Now, throughout the week we've got shows within the show. We're going to have CTI tomorrow. That stands for cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We, we speculate on what's going on. We talk about what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we have real talk. We throw those in. Once In a while, five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. That's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how you can use the 75 hard program to transform your life. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program. The Live Hard program is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And it's free. You can get it for free on our podcast audio feed only. It's not on YouTube. Podcast audio feed only. Episode 208 give you the entire program for free. If you're someone who wants to know the intricate details of the program, you could buy the book. The book is [e-mail] it is called the book on Mental toughness. It has the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how you can use it to cultivate the life of your dreams. And you can get [e-mail] Again, that's the book on mental toughness. One thing about our show before we get going here is we do things a little bit different. We don't run ads on the show unless it's for this amazing first form, Screaming Freedom energy drink. We might run an ad or two on that, but otherwise, we don't run ads. And I don't run ads because I don't want to listen to someone tell me what I can and can't say. We try to keep it real here, and we ask very simply in exchange for that, that you help us grow the show. Okay? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective, it's something that you think needs to be shared. Do us a favor. Don't be a hoe.

[Co-Host]

Share the show. All right, I'll help you on there. I got one cracked open.

[Andy Frisella]

What you got?

[Co-Host]

Little screaming freedom.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah. I want to scream freedom today, too, bro.

[Co-Host]

Makes me want to scream some freedom.

[Andy Frisella]

It does scream the freedom.

[Co-Host]

Let freedom scream. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Let freedom scream.

[Co-Host]

What's going on, though, man?

[Andy Frisella]

Nothing, dude.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Ready to kick some ass?

[Co-Host]

Yeah. Make some people better.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, let's go.

[Co-Host]

It never felt so good.

[Andy Frisella]

Never feels good. So good, you know, Than it does today to make people better. I don't know what you're trying. I don't know. Let's just do the show, man. I just got. Give me. Give me what you got.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, I'll give it to you, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. I know you will. Yeah.

[Co-Host]

Guys, I got three good ones for you, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Are you sick over there? Are you. You cold? You're cold?

[Co-Host]

Oh, it's freezing in here.

[Andy Frisella]

Is it?

[Co-Host]

I really believe Klein comes in here and fucks with the thermostat.

[Andy Frisella]

It's possible, you know?

[Co-Host]

I'm saying, you told me you guys.

[Andy Frisella]

All cold in here. Really?

[Co-Host]

It's freezing.

[Andy Frisella]

Maybe you all shouldn't hide in here all day. And you wouldn't be cold.

[Co-Host]

This is my only safe space, man. It's my safe space. Yeah, man. Well, guys, let's get better today. Guys, we got three good ones for you. Andy. Guys. Andy. Question number one. Andy. I'm the kind of person who spends hours agonizing over every little detail, whether it's a work project or decorating my home. It's exhausting. And even when I finish something, I rarely feel satisfied. My friends tell me I'm too hard on myself. But I feel like if I let go of my standards, I'll be mediocre. How can I learn to embrace imperfection without feeling like I'm settling for less? Let's get this kicked off. And you.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, first of all, perfection will keep you ignorant and unskilled. Okay? If you were perfect all the time, how could you learn how to be any better? And this is something that people have a really hard time with. They set out, they want to do everything perfect, which by the way, you should want to do everything perfect. But what happens is that they have a, you know, a hiccup or they have an obstacle or something doesn't go the way that they want and they refuse to acknowledge the value in that situation. And the truth of the matter is, over the course of your life, over the course of your career, the mistakes you make are much more valuable than the perfection that you execute upon. Because the mistakes that you make are the things that teach you the skills, the resilience, the grit, the fortitude, and everything that you need to know to be successful long term. So instead of being upset that you're not perfect in the beginning, you should be thankful that you're making these mistakes in the beginning when nobody's really paying attention to you. Because if you were to make Those same mistakes 20 years from now, when you're running a hundred million dollar operation, everybody's gonna see them. Okay, so, and let's break this down further. You can't get to a hundred million dollar operation being perfect because you're not going to be able to learn the skills that are required to operate at that level and then all the levels that come along the way.

[Co-Host]

So you're saying you will fail before you even get that?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but, but dude, listen. The reason that people struggle is because they don't put enough value on, on the failures that they have. They're embarrassed, they get upset, they feel stupid, they start having doubts. But they don't realize that every single business and every single entrepreneur and every single person that they look up to, the reason that you look up to them is very simple. They are willing to go out. They are willing to fall on their face over and over and over again. They don't give a what anybody thinks about it. They don't care what their friends say. They don't care what the media says, they don't care what anybody says. They're willing to fall down on their face understanding that whatever happens past that, they won't make that same mistake again. And they keep moving. Being successful in anything is so simple. It's just that people aren't willing to go through the process of being embarrassed in front of people who quite honestly aren't going to matter over the course of your life. So instead of wanting to be perfect, do your best to be perfect. And then when you mess up. Instead of getting down on yourself, instead of, you know, feeling bad, instead of beating yourself up, say, hey, all right, that's good. I learned that right here from this, and I'll never make that mistake again. And then when you're doing 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, $500 million and that same situation presents itself, you're going to remember the last time I did that. This is what happened. And if I do that same thing now, it's going to cost me this much more. So, look, dude, if you want to have a excruciating time being an entrepreneur, try to be perfect and get mad at yourself every time you mess up. If you want to enjoy the process, and you want to enjoy it as much as you can, because it is a brutal journey and it's very difficult and it's hard for everybody, including you, including me, including anybody else. Learn to value the things that you're learning from the mistakes that you make just as much as you value the perfection that you happen to hit by accident along the way. You know what I'm saying? By accident, yeah, of course. You. You. If you don't have the skills and you don't, you know, like, you know, there's a thing there you could. You can hit a home run without being a good hitter.

[Co-Host]

Swing enough bats.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right.

[Co-Host]

Like something.

[Andy Frisella]

Look, man, you're gonna do things right sometimes. That doesn't mean you're skilled. So don't let your ego get out in front of you and think just because you've done a couple things in the beginning, that you actually have the skills. Because the skills can only come from making mistakes over and over and over again or watching other people make mistakes and learning from their mistakes, which is a great way to learn as well.

[Co-Host]

Yeah. You know, Andy, you talk about, you know, even just like, actualizing your own individual success. Like, it's a. It's a strive thing, right? Like, you're never actually going to reach that. So you look at perfection pretty much the same way. Like, you're not to really ever reach that pivotal, but you're always striving to get as close to it as possible, right?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I mean, look, dude, we're on a time scale, okay? You're going to run out of time eventually. Like, the best entrepreneurs that I've ever met, they act like they're going to live forever. You talk to these people that are in their 70s and they're talking for the next 30 years, it's like, bro, you're going to be in a box. You Know what I'm saying? But like, they don't, they don't think that way. And like, for example, like, if you took a guy like Jeff Bezos, I think Jeff Bezos is around 60 or so, right? You take a guy like Bezos, you take everything he knows, right? And you give him 30 more years, he's going to accomplish a whole bunch more. But what's he going to learn in those 30 years? And then if he were able to live to 200, what would he be able to accomplish because of what he's Learned the last 30 years of his life? So when you think about, like, what potential is for an individual, you have to understand that it's capped only by the amount of time that we have. And so if you actually subscribe to the idea of always improving, always getting better, actualizing your own potential, like you said, you're never going to be able to reach your potential because you're gaining skills along the way through the process that you don't have time to execute on at the end of your life. Does that make sense? So the day that you die, if you've given it everything that you have, you actually have more skill and more potential than you've ever had before, which is why it's important to, like, transfer that knowledge as you go. Right? But it, you know, it's weird to think about, but I think, you know, when you think about what you're going to be the most proud of as a driven individual and look, dude, we're not talking to regular Joes here, okay? We're talking to driven people. We have to, we have to clarify that when you, you guys who are driven individuals, who are hungry, who are the go getters who want to win, when you guys get out to, you know, the end of your life, you're going to have regrets. And the reality is, is you get to choose through your actions what regrets you're going to have. And for entrepreneurs and people who are driven to achieve, build, create, and who drive society in the proper direction, those people are always going to ask themselves, they're going to say, well, did I give it everything I had? Could I have done more? What could I have done? Right? And they're going to pay the price probably in some other areas of life. All right? That's the reality.

[Co-Host]

But that's the trade off.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, you're going to have a trade, dude, you're not going to have it all. Everybody who says you're going to have it all is you're not going to have it all it's a trade. So. But certain people are wired for this kind of life. And if you're the kind of person that's wired for that life, a lot of reflection is going to come down to, did I do everything I could to, to maximize what I'm wired to do? And if you subscribe to the idea of your potential always expanding and your skill set always expanding, you know, you're, you're going to be proud of what you did because you're going to say, yeah, I continue to improve, I continue to innovate, I continue to reinvent myself, I continue to push, I continue to create, I continue to build. And I did that my whole life and I did everything I could with the amount of time that I was given. And dude, that's, that's a noble thing because most people don't live that way.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And then if you take that same idea and you apply it to, let's say your relationship, or you apply it to your friendships, or you apply it to your family, you can really have a really good, well rounded life without feeling like you have too many regrets. Like you're always going to have some regrets, man. You know, I missed a couple of those soccer games or, you know, whatever. Right. But, but there's a trade off for the quality of life that you're going to have for the things that you know, you're going to ultimately regret. And that's just reality. There's no way to get out of your life without looking back and being like, fucking, I should have handled that different.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, I think, and I think too for most, for majority of people, that conversation, that, that talk happens at the end of it.

[Andy Frisella]

Right.

[Co-Host]

For sure. If you're lucky though, you have like the awareness, well, you have some near death experiences, you know, also push that.

[Andy Frisella]

I'll tell you this. I mean, look, man, every enlightened person that is like totally gets it, they've always had some sort of near death experience.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, like, because you're having that conversation right there.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. So when I got stabbed when I was 23, it was people, people get like so weird when I say, dude, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, the reason, one of the reasons, there was a lot of reasons. It humbled me, it taught me a lot, taught me how to treat people better. There's a whole lot of things, but one of the main things that it taught me is that your time is finite. And when that happened, I went from like, kind of being like, I'm just being real Kind of like a tub of, you know, really not giving too much effort into my life. Kind of like, you know, it'll work itself out to being an aggressively driven individual because of that. Because I'm like, dude, that could be taken away from me in a second. I don't know when that's going to happen. So I'm gonna go hard, right? And everybody I know that has gone super, super hard, they all, you can always trace it back to something where they're mortality was in jeopardy.

[Co-Host]

Yeah. You know, and that conversation came real like, if I'm going right now, what did I do?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's right, dude.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, man.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right.

[Co-Host]

I love it, man. I love it. So. So don't be satisfied. Always works to do better and learn from the mistakes. I love it, man. Guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy. I'm currently on day 27 of 75 Heart. I am learning so much about myself and my self discipline. I have worked in healthcare for over 25 years in different genres. Long term care, day treatment, nursing homes, inpatient psych, and most recently in hospitals. I'm not a clinician, but a manager of over 250 volunteers in a prestigious academic medical center. I'm really good at what I do and I have picked up so much knowledge along the way. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree and I know I can do more. The other day I listened to my boss voice and reached out to the CEO and Chief Human Resources officer for the entire system to ask them their thoughts of going back to school to attain a higher level within the system. So I now have a meeting with the chief HR officer to discuss my qualifications and what I can do. I know I can do more. And I'm wondering if you have any advice for me that I can use in my upcoming meeting. Thanks in advance.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, first of all, you can do even more than that. Like, you guys have to understand, all right, all these people that you look up to, all these people that you think have these special skills or they're in these super high achievement areas of life. These people, very few of them have any special skills that you don't have. Most of these people are just regular people. They are people just like you, bro. They put their pants on like you, they have problems just like you. They get frustrated, they get angry, they get disappointed, they get excited, they do stupid just like you. Okay? There's no difference. And we make a mistake as humans when we look at other people and we say they have something that I don't. Or they must be more qualified than me, or they must be smarter than me, or. Or they come from a better family, or they were born with more advantages. And we're experts at telling ourselves all these reasons as to why other people are and we aren't. Okay? And we have to get out of that habit, because every single great thing that's ever been created in the history of the world was created by a human being. And guess what? You are. You are a human being, just like them. You have access to more information, to more skill set, to faster learning than anybody who has ever existed before you in the history of Earth. So what is it about you that makes you incapable compared to everybody else? And I'm going to give you the answer. The answer is nothing. The answer is the belief in your ability to. To achieve and become things that nobody you have ever seen in your own universe has done. And that is our limiting beliefs. We look at everybody we know personally and we look at them and we say, okay, well, that's the most successful guy I know. He's a doctor. He makes $400,000 a year or makes $700,000 a year. He's got a nice house. He drives a Mercedes. That is the limit of what I could maybe do. And I'm probably way below that because he's a doctor, okay? So we are. And what are we told growing up? We're told these things. Think about in school, dude, when you're in little bitty kid, your parents, if you had decent parents, they'll tell you, you could be anything you want. You could be the president one day, right? But then you go to school and in first grade, second grade, third grade, you know, they'll entertain that. But by the time you're in fifth, sixth, seventh grade, they've started the process of indoctrinating you into your own limitations. They've started telling you, hey, dj, I know you said you wanted to be a president, but you need to be more realistic, okay? We need. We need to. We need to get you, you know, maybe you could work at 7:11. You know, that'd be a good. You could be the president of 7 11. And they start telling you all this shit and instilling doubt in you. And bro, these are the. This is what's wrong with education system. We. We deal. And by the way, it's not just the education system. It's our culture, okay? Your parents will start telling you that. They'll start telling you, well, you better. You better figure it out because you Gotta, you only got a few more years left till you're out on your own. And they start putting all this extra pressure and doubt inside of us. And then we get to high school, right, and we're like, you know, little DJ is like, well, I want to be president. And you tell your friends that and they make fun of you and they throw you in a locker, right? So. So over the course of time, our dreams, our goals, our aspirations, our belief in ourself is watered down by the environment that we all grow up in. And I believe, like we talk about on cti, that that environment is intentionally created for the, the proposition of controlling the population. All right, we listen to Tuesdays and Friday shows for that, back tomorrow for that one. Yeah, but the point is, guys, is that you don't really have limits. You have what you have been told your limits are. And you have chosen to believe that those are your limits. And that's why you have this problem going for the things you really want and instead going for the things that are more realistic, right? Like, man, I'd really like to have that, that, you know, that 40 ounce rib eye, but I'll take that three ounce strip steak instead. It's almost the same thing. No, it's not. There's a big fucking difference, okay? And there's a big difference and you settling for this mediocre position and you actually going for what you want to be. So, So I say all that to say this. I think it's great that you're, you're taking initiative. I think it's great that you are starting to move in the right direction. I salute you. I think it's amazing. I think you need to continue on the Live Hard program for a number of years because the more years you do it, the more belief you will instill in your self with the idea that you're going to get to a place where you're going to go to the max distance of what you really want. And that's what my, my suggestion would be for. You take the baby step right now. You're already in the process of it, but don't make that the step that's a stepping stone to where you really want to be. And I would start thinking about where you really want to be and start taking action for what you really want to do. Because big dreams create big action which create big results, and little dreams create little action which creates a little bitty life that we end up regretting. So you're much better than you think you are. And you need to remember that most of the doubt and most of the things that you struggle with were installed in you by people around you who have already given up on what their life could have been. And they want you to do so as well, because it makes them feel more comfortable about their mediocre existence.

[Co-Host]

Right. It's all people who. Who were. Who limited themselves.

[Andy Frisella]

Correct.

[Co-Host]

Passing that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes.

[Co-Host]

It's crazy.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro.

[Co-Host]

It's crazy.

[Andy Frisella]

It's everybody.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Do you know how many people told me over the course of my Life, okay, I'm 45 years old. You know, I don't even want to say what I'm worth because people get pissed, but it ain't nine figures.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. It's more than that.

[Co-Host]

Doing all right.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I built a bunch of different companies, been very successful, done a lot of big things, and I was. I was the dumbest motherfucker ever. If you go back in grade school, everybody made fun of me. I got picked on in high school. I was a CD student. You know, there's not a single teacher that I ever fucking had ever, that would fucking would have said, andy Vercella is going to turn out. Like, I have turned out not a single one. And that's no disrespect to them, okay? Because I didn't figure it out till after that. And if I had looked at me in high school, I would say the same. But I got to a point where I'm like, you know what, dude? I don't want any of these lives.

[Co-Host]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

I just don't. And that's. That's. And that is not me looking my nose down to whatever someone chooses for themselves. That's just not what I wanted, okay? I wanted to make a lot of money. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to travel. I wanted to have nice. I wanted to build companies. That is what I chose for myself. And I didn't let anybody talk me out of it. Like, when people would say, you know, know, little remarks and things like, dude, your little vitamin shop, or this or that. Like, bro, I never for one time did I think, like, all we're going to be is a little vitamin shop. I would get, like, pissed. And I would look at the. In my head and I'd be like, dude, you. Yeah, like, I'm going to show you, bro.

[Co-Host]

Watch this.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. And. And. And I. And we've done it, you know, And Sal's wired the same way. My business partners are all. Anybody I'm in business with has that chip on their shoulder. Yeah. Don't believe in us, bro. Doubt us, make fun of us, Laugh, giggle, make remarks. Please do. Because I take all of that and I turn it into productive energy and I end up stepping on your throat with that. So we have to learn as individuals to take all the negativity and disbelief and doubt and limits that people put on us and turn it into real action and shove it down their throats. That's what you have to do. If you can't do that, you won't succeed. Because you get so much negativity and so much limiting belief and so much doubt, so much that happens over the course of the journey that you're on, that if you can't take it and turn it into productive action, it's going to wear you down, bro. It'll crush you. So you have to have it. It's not an option. And we have these people who say all this idealistic on the Internet. Don't do it to prove them wrong. Do it to prove them right. What the have you done? You see what I'm saying, bro? Like, bro, we have this scenario where people want to make. There's nobody that that's that tough that can take all of that criticism, all of that pain, all of that doubt, all of that and just wear it and not use it. You have to use it. We only have so much energy available to us. We have positive energy. Hey, I believe in you. Hey, yeah, you're qualified. You, bro, listen, you can do this. Okay, there's that and then there's the. Are you thinking, bro, that's not for people like you. What? You better be realistic, dude. You're going to be broke now. Let me ask you, there's six people in this room. Do you get more positive or do you get more negative?

[Co-Host]

You're only get way more negative, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

What do you. What do you guys get? Every single motherfucker in here has gotten more negative than positive. Well, if you can only use the small amount of positive and you can't use the negative, you're missing out on most of the energy required to get where you want to go. So you have to learn to have that chip on your shoulder and you have to learn how to process negativity in order to produce the positive outcome that you're looking to create.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, I want to hit on this, man, because I think it's important you said, you know, like, and we don't want to look down on anybody if that's what they chose to do. Problem is, most people are settling in their lives.

[Andy Frisella]

No mo, you're listening. You're correct. Here's what you're saying, and I agree with you. I have no problem with anybody. In fact, I admire people who are living the way they want to live.

[Co-Host]

If it's actually their choice, if it's.

[Andy Frisella]

Genuine, authentically what they want. Yeah, bro, but there's so, but that's not most people. Most people settle and then pretend that that's what they actually wanted so that they can be noble. You know, I'm, you know, I, I could have done all that, but, you know, I, I chose to do. Bro, I watched you. You didn't do. You laid on your couch and off. You didn't try to do anything right. And you got what you got and now you're pretending like that's what you wanted.

[Co-Host]

You're lying in that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, bro, listen there. It's all bullshit. Most people never become anything because they're lazy. They don't believe in themselves. They aren't willing to take a risk and put in work that doesn't have a guaranteed outcome. And then at the end of their life, they get the look of themselves in the mirror and be like, I didn't do. And that's their, that's their trade off. So they get a comfortable life and a hard pill to swallow at the end of it.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, man.

[Andy Frisella]

And by comfortable, I don't mean comfortable. I just mean like lazy comfortable.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, right, right.

[Andy Frisella]

Like they still going to have high amounts of discomfort, you know. That's the other thing people don't understand. It's going to be hard no matter what, dude. Like it's going to be hard whether you put in all the work to become successful or whether you don't put any of the work and you fudgeing struggle your whole life. It's, you know, I actually am the first fucking person that said choose your hard back. And I got the meme to prove it. Now everybody says it, but it is what it is. Lots of shit that I said original, but yeah, dude, you choose your hard. You can either fucking choose the path of hard work and, you know, bear fruit, or you could choose the path of being lazy and it's going to be a hard life. And that's it.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, I love it, man. Guys, and let's do our third and final question. Andy, we've got question number three. Hey, Andy. I'm 25 and near bankruptcy. I started a business a few years ago in video production and quickly worked my way up to 250,000 a year. Being the only one in the business over the past few months, I let my ego get the best of me and I have no money left. I'm behind on taxes, $60,000 in credit card debt, spent it all on going out and expensive purchases, and I got lazy and overweight, lost quite a few clients, and business is slow over the winter, but I am working my way back. What advice do you have for me or other entrepreneurs who have self sabotaged after getting their first success? Thank you guys. I hope this one makes it on the pot. And I think others can relate. Plate self sabotage. How do you. What do you do after that moment?

[Andy Frisella]

You realize, yeah, self sabotage, bro. You just didn't know how to handle any kind of good happening. Okay? It's a, it's a normal lesson. That's a normal lesson of entrepreneurship. The difference is most people let that bury them and then they say, I tried being an entrepreneur and it didn't work. Okay, that's. You're at least saying, all right, I recognize what I did. I got fat, I got lazy, I let my ego think I was the man and I spent all my money and now I'm going to fucking shit storm. Right, I can respect that. I respect the honesty and the fact that you're willing to own it says that, you know, I don't think you'll do that again. Right? And that's a valuable lesson. So let's go back to the question that I we asked. Question number one. How valuable is that lesson for you to be $60,000 in debt instead of 60 million in debt 10 years from now?

[Co-Host]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. So you're learning a very valuable lesson that is going to be relatively cheap. And I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but it's going to be relatively cheap for you to learn versus what it would cost you in 5, 10, 15 years. So first off, I'd be thankful that you're an idiot and that you're an idiot now and not later, okay? Secondly, I would take out a piece of paper and I would write the lesson right there on the piece of paper in a big ass Sharpie marker. And I tape that on your bathroom mirror and everywhere you need to see it. Because if you have the tendency to do this, you. You're going to have the tendency to do it again, okay? Because you are playing the entrepreneur game for the wrong reasons and you need to adjust those reasons. And what I mean by that is this. You are playing to, to fund a lifestyle and you need to be playing to create impact and value in your customer base. And if you create impact and value in your customer base, you will make so much money that your lifestyle won't be a problem. So let's take the mo. Let's be honest about your motivation, because you didn't make much money, bro. I mean, I know that you think you made a lot of money, but.

[Co-Host]

You think you didn't. Right? Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. And then you figure out a way to spend it. You need to understand that if you really want to have a great lifestyle, you got to take the focus off of yourself, and you got to put it on your people, you got to put it on your company, and the rest of that will take care of itself. Okay? So let's make that adjustment right now. Let's make a conscious, you know, point to not make this mistake again, and let's start digging it out. And you say, okay, well, what do I do to dig out? Well, bro, you got to start chipping away. You know, there's no. There's no magic success fairies could fly down and give you a check for 100 grand to get you out of your hole. That's it. You're going to have to go. You're going to have to do the work. I would recommend getting on the live hard program, starting 75 hard, getting your fat ass back in shape, getting your mental sharp, and everything else will follow that.

[Co-Host]

Let me ask you this, Andy, because I've heard this before. I don't think you've ever really talked about this, but what is the right way to win? Meaning, like, how do you celebrate the win? Like, the right way. Like, winners know how to win, right? Like, act like you've been here before. My coach used to tell me that all the time. Act like you've been here before for. Right. What's the appropriate way to do it in. In success?

[Andy Frisella]

I mean, let's be real, dude. Do you see Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or any. Do you see me or anybody in the club popping bottles and acting like they're first time they ever got a dollar right? Do you see that?

[Co-Host]

No, not at all.

[Andy Frisella]

Right? Because it ain't. And I don't know anybody that's successful that acts like a. Like some of these online. Like, you know, like the. They do. We're. It's embarrassing, and it makes them look like amateurs. So, yeah, you know, be classy, be cool. Reward yourself, you know, but realize that, you know, people are. The people that don't like you aren't gonna like you no matter what you do. So you got to do what you like, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's a lot of people that don't like me because I drive cool ass and I post on the Internet. But you know why I do that? Because there's a lot of people that are young, Andy's out there, they're gonna think that shit's awesome and be aspiring to kick ass because they're like, okay, if I go kick ass, I could drive a cool car. I could drive a bunch of them. I could drive a different one every day of the month. You know what I'm saying? Like, I can live on a historic, you know, like, it's inspiring, bro. And you know, there's a difference between inspiring and just being a jackass, you know, like these dudes on the Internet throwing money in the air and, you.

[Co-Host]

Know, it's not like it's a fine line. Like it's a pretty big one.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. It's just. Don't be a douchebag. Yeah, that's what it comes down to.

[Co-Host]

I love it, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, I, I, look, dude, this guy here, you got a long way before you should be buying any cars, spending money on vacations or club. Like, dude, I see, man.

[Co-Host]

No, that's, Bro, they need the Internet.

[Andy Frisella]

The, the Internet's a re. Really hard place because it causes people who are doing pretty good to do really dumb. That keeps them from doing better. Like, you know, like, you know, like buying, buying an exotic car. Too early.

[Co-Host]

I gotta get a watch.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes, or traveling private when it's a hundred times more expensive. Too early just so you could take a picture for the Instagram. Like, dude, that will bury your ass. You know what I mean? And the truth of the matter is, is like, you know, if I, you know, I don't know, I just, I just, I just think you should live below your means for as long as you possibly can. And that's it.

[Co-Host]

I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Co-Host]

I love it. Guys, forever. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, bro, like these people that you see living in a twenty million dollar house and having, you know, thirty million dollars a car, you don't realize how much money those have made. They're living within their means.

[Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You just don't get it.

[Co-Host]

Well below it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. You, you have never con conceptualized the amount of money that you can make if you went out and built something real. And because of that, you think that other people that are wealthy are spending all their money on lifestyle, and when they're not, they're spending a small percentage on it, and then they're using their money to Create more money which pays for their life. You see what I'm saying? And it's unfortunate. You know, I'm, I'm pretty thankful that, you know, I built most of my, the base and the foundation of, of, of my success personal before social media really took off. And then I was able to leverage those skill sets into digital. But one thing that I had that, that these other guys don't have is I didn't have, you know, 200 knuckleheads in my, in my face every day with Lamborghinis and flashy watches and like, distracting me. Like, I didn't have that. Like, I, I was, I had Tony Robbins books.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, I think that's a perfect word to distraction.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Like, I never felt like, I never felt like I need to buy this watch because he has this watch or I need to go out and, you know, sacrifice the growth of my company because I need this car. Like, that was never, that was never a thing for me because the Internet wasn't what it is today. And now we have a lot of people who, you know, they compare themselves to these online computers. And as you guys are seeing more and more and more of these guys are getting caught up in lawsuits and federal cases and indictments, and it's just showing you, like, this isn't real. They're not real. Like, if they haven't built a real company, if they, they don't have employees and they haven't built multiple companies and you can't order their products and, you know, you can't see what they built, you can't experience their company. Like, motherfucker, you shouldn't be fucking paying them for business advice. You just shouldn't. Like, why the would you do that? You see what I'm saying? And we have a lot of people who don't know any better. And it's sad. And this is, this is part of the reason why I'm starting MF CEO project again. Because for the last four years, and by the way, we're keeping this show going, it's going to be on an app. But for the last four years, we focused on dude cultural awareness. Like, hey, we lose here. There ain't going to be an opportunity for any fertile soil. Well, now we're going to get our fertile soil back. And people, young people are going to have to learn how to really win. So I want to turn my focus back because I have built a number of very real things to, to training these younger people how to actually build things and actually win, not just this hocus Pocus, you know, because, dude, for us to keep this country, it's very. You know, we talk about this all the time, dude. You got to have the soil, and then you got to plant the seeds and harvest out of it. And we were about to have soil that would never allow us to plant seeds and harvest out of it, and now we are going to have that. And you guys need to learn how to plant and fucking harvest. And so that's. That's what I'm going to do. And I was called to do it. I felt called to do it again because I see so much fucking garbage out there of people being misled and taken advantage of and taught things that aren't real by people who've never done anything because they. They, you know, because of what they see on the Internet. Like, bro, it's not it. It's. It. It. No, it's not it. Would you Other. Would you rather look like you have money or would you rather have money?

[Co-Host]

I'd rather have them.

[Andy Frisella]

No, bro.

[Co-Host]

Yeah, obviously.

[Andy Frisella]

And that's. That's the problem with Instagram right now, so.

[Co-Host]

Well, guys, Mindy, it's a hell of a way to start a Monday.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. All right, guys, we'll see you tomorrow on cti. Don't forget, don't be a ho show.

[Unknown Artist]

The show went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze Fuck up pole, fuck up stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.