838. Q&AF: Overcoming “People Pleasing” Behavior, Pursuing Greatness & Hiring Great Team Players

February 10, 202500:32:31

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to change your mindset when you have been a “people pleaser” all your life, how to be effective on the path of pursuing greatness in life, and what is the secret behind hiring great team...

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[00:03]
A
Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove counted millions in a cold bad booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head.
[00:15]
B
Shot case clothes what is up? Guys, it's Andy Prisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we bring you the answers. Now you can submit your questions for the show a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.
[00:37]
C
Questions into ask andyforcella.com or you go.
[00:40]
B
On YouTube in the comments section. Drop your question down there and we'll pick some from there as well. Throughout the week we're going to have cruise the Internet. We call that cti. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's true and what's not true and we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're going to have what's called real talk. Real talk. Just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then other times we're going to have 75 hard verses. Now, 75 hard verses is where people have completed the 75 hard program. Come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 hard program to, for lack of a better terms, fix their. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. You can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book. The book is available, Andy, for ella.com it's called the book on mental toughness. It includes the entire live heart program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, how to develop it, why it's important, and how to use it in your life to increase the quality of your life. Now we do something different on this show. We don't run ads. You're going to find that we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. So in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. The show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. You learn some new things, do us a favor and and help us Spread the word. All right. We like to say it like this. Don't be a hoe.
[02:22]
C
Show the show.
[02:23]
B
All right. What's up?
[02:24]
C
Hey, good morning. Good looking.
[02:26]
B
Yeah, that's right. I am good looking.
[02:29]
C
What's going on with you, brother?
[02:30]
B
Nothing, dude.
[02:31]
C
Yeah?
[02:31]
B
Yeah. Just counting down the days for the launch of the new MSCO project. We're down to days now and we're not going to talk about when it was launched or when it's going to launch. You're going to have to be on the email list to know when it launches. So if you're not on the email list, you should go to andy vercella.com subscribe to the Andy Graham, which is your daily, I don't know, pep talk, you know, and you'll find out about when the MF CEO launches, where it's going to be and how you can get it. So, yeah, let me ask you, how.
[03:05]
C
How excited? Like, like, let's be real. Like. No, no, fruit ship. How excited are you for. For that coming back?
[03:10]
B
Very. Because it's more than just teaching people how to make money at this point. You know, the first time we did the MF CEO project, it was about how to become successful, and now it's about not only how to become successful, but how to become successful in all areas of your life, accompanied with the idea that it is our duty to become the best that we can be. In order for this country to become the best that it can be, there has been an abandonment of personal responsibility and obligation because we have been quote, unquote, free for so long that people think they are free to live a shitty life and that America will just exist if all of our people here live less than the standard of what it should be. And that's just not how it works. So the goal here is for me to teach people who are young, not just young in age, but young and experience how to build a life, how to build a company, how to make money, but also understand our obligation to becoming the best people that we can be so that we don't have what just happened for the last 10 years in this country or 12 years or 15 years happen again, which is the removal of personal responsibility, you know, and ambition. You know, where we started to get into a situation where people started to see ambition, success and winning as some sort of negative thing. Right? That is all programming. It is not negative at all. It is the. It is your obligation to go pursue the best possible version of yourself because other people are going to follow you whether you you know, understand that now or not. And, you know, there was a time in this country where people understood that sacrifices were made and that citizens had an obligation to try the their best, to be their best. And that's something that we need to restore with the younger generation and all generations. And so, you know, I'm excited because it's not just about like, you know, hey, let's go out and make some money. You know what I mean? It's about like, hey, let's go make some money and become the best that we can be and set the right example and show other people how it's done so that we can create, you know, a movement of citizens that stands for personal excellence. Because when we are personally excellent in all areas, other people notice, they start to pick up the pace, they start to join the group, the standards raise and the standards in this country get better. So, you know, it's, it's a big mission. But, you know, I'm not CEO of, of. I'm not actively the CEO of you know, first form anymore or, or really any of the companies anymore. I've moved into chairman roles and investment roles, and I have the time to dedicate to this. So I'm really, I'm really excited about it.
[06:03]
C
Dude, it's gonna be awesome. Like, I feel like there's a lot of people out there now who have gotten on that page of understanding the obligation. It's just. Okay.
[06:10]
B
But like, now let's give them the tools.
[06:12]
C
What do I do?
[06:12]
B
Right?
[06:13]
C
And a lot of new entrepreneurs I feel can come out of this too, bro, which we need.
[06:17]
B
Well, I mean, bro, there's hun. There's, I mean, tens of thousands of entrepreneurs that started with the old MSCO project that are now, you know, 8, 10, 12 years in doing well.
[06:28]
C
Yeah.
[06:28]
B
So there's no doubt of the impact that it makes. But, you know, I, I just think that there's so much misinformation and there's so many liars and there's so much that the lack of real entrepreneurial experience and information is, is just, it's just lacking. And the principles that, that make up a actual successful life and business, it's a little more complicated than just getting ripped, you know what I'm saying? Like, so, you know, I'm sharing my 26 years of experience building a portfolio that's worth 10 figures, you know, with everybody else. So I'm excited about it.
[07:14]
C
I'm excited to get to it too, man. Well, it's Q A, so let's make some people Better today, guys. Andy, I got some good ones for you. Let's knock these out. Question number one. Andy. Andy. I've always been a people pleaser, and it's exhausting. Yeah, I want to set boundaries and prioritize my own happiness, but I'm afraid of upsetting others. How do I begin to change this mindset and stand up for myself? I don't want to go another year being a people pleaser. How do we do that?
[07:47]
B
Well, look, there's nothing wrong with pleasing other people or servicing other people. And a lot of times when we talk about, you know, when we talk about entrepreneurship, we talk about serving the customers. We get into this mindset, which isn't bad, by the way, of trying to please everybody. But the problem is we can't please everybody. It's impossible. And a lot of times when we try to please everybody, we end up abandoning our own self in that pleasing. And that's where you have to draw the boundary. You have to realize that when you're. When you're serving or you're giving, it's not being reciprocated. You know, it's time to draw a boundary of some sort. Like in a business environment, you know, you serve, serve, serve, they give you money. Right? In a friendship environment, you know, you serve, serve, serve, you get nothing back. Well, you should probably stop that because you're pouring in and getting nothing back. And we are. We are energy beings. And when we pour all our energy into one person or two people or people in general, and we don't keep any for ourselves or don't get any bad back, we end up in a situation where we feel drained or feel exhausted. Like he's describing or she's describing the question. So how do you do that? Well, saying no is a skill that people have to learn. And you don't have to, you know, just give this long explanation about, you know, why you're not doing things that, you know, you wouldn't normally otherwise do.
[09:12]
C
So, or other people want you to do.
[09:14]
B
That's right. And, dude, at the end of the day, dude, you do have to look out for the best interests of yourself because no one else is going to look out for you. It's the truth. So there's a very fine line between being a team player and also making sure that you are in the spot that you need to be in. And most of the time, when people can't set boundaries, it's because they have a hard time saying no, because there's such. They're so used to Pleasing everybody or trying to please everybody that it feels unnatural to them. So just like anything that we, you know, have to get good at, you have to practice saying no and then just letting it be. You know, no is a complete sentence. It's a skill to practice. And when you mean no, you should say no. And when you mean yes, you should say yes. And so sometimes that is going to be uncomfortable because people have been used to you saying yes to things, that you were now saying no to things. And you know, but reality is, is once you move away from those people and you just start operating like a normal human, nobody has a problem with people saying no. You know what I'm saying? So this is just something that you need to work on, saying no without, you know, overly explaining yourself. Now if there's people like in your family or close friends or, you know, they might be confused by this. So you, you might have to sit down and have a conversation. Hey, look, I'm pouring all this. I don't have that energy, dude, and I'm not getting anything back. Maybe they just don't realize that that's the dynamic.
[10:50]
C
So innocently ignorant, correct?
[10:51]
B
Yeah, well, they become accustomed to it. Yeah, right. Like when you start putting silk sheets on your bed and you sleep in them every night, you stop appreciating those silk sheets after a while. So it's important that you know, you realize that maybe some people are doing this with just because you've been so over accommodating for so long and they're not aware. So communication is a big deal. The ability to say no is a big deal. And you know, you have to understand that you have the right and the. Yeah, I mean, you have the right to, to make decisions that, and you should make decisions that are good for you, you know, and there's a balance in life. Like sometimes you make decisions that are good for other people that may not be as good for you, knowing that that's going to create a better sit. There's all different ways to think about this. But the end of the day, most people have problem with boundaries because they, they've not, you know, maybe they have a fucked up parent or somebody that's made them feel guilty for everything, you know, and you end up having a hard time setting a boundary because you feel guilty every time you say no. Dude, you're going to feel better when you set those boundaries, you know, and those people that try to guilt you and try those people are manipulative, you just cut those people out, bro. Yeah, I was Actually, I don't have. I don't deal with that no more. Like, I, I personally used to have a really hard time with that. I used, I used to be able. I used to let people make me feel guilty when I didn't give them what they wanted in the moment. And honestly, dude, like, it was one of the hardest things I had to get over. Sometimes I still struggle with it because I am that kind of a person.
[12:33]
C
You have a good heart, man.
[12:34]
B
Well, it's. Yeah. And people take advantage of it. And especially when you have financial means, you know, and you got a money.
[12:41]
C
Tree in the backyard. Yeah, Yeah.
[12:42]
B
I mean, dude, look, it's be. To be successful, you. You have to learn to set boundaries and say no, otherwise you won't be able to keep your money. So this is not just a skill that's going to make you feel better. It's also a financially advantageous skill to learn.
[12:57]
C
Yeah. 100%. I was going, I was going to. I mean, I was going to ask you this. I actually, I heard you, you say this before. I forget where we were, man, but you were like, other people's reaction to your decisions is not your concern. Was like the gist of it. And I think that got me, like, saying, no, that's.
[13:12]
B
I mean, that's true. That, that's true in, in some situations, you know, if it's your family or your, your, you know, your brother or your wife or so, you know, I mean, like, it's not as cut and dry as nuance.
[13:23]
C
Sure.
[13:23]
B
Correct.
[13:24]
C
Yeah. So overall, you can't, you can't hang, get hung up on how somebody else is going to feel about something that you're trying to do for your betterment of you.
[13:32]
B
100. But, but also, dude, is like, if you have those conversations and nothing changes, then you can't let that bother you either. You just have to say, well, it is what the. It is.
[13:41]
C
Yeah.
[13:42]
B
You know, I want to ask you.
[13:43]
C
This final little piece on this question too, man, because I think it's important too. You know, we've talked about accountability on the show. We talked about, you know, how do you can't hold somebody else accountable if you're not holding yourself accountable. Is this. Does that same kind of mindset apply to this?
[13:56]
B
Right?
[13:56]
C
Like, it's hard to take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself. You know what I'm saying? I think, yeah. I mean, look themselves out like that because it's like, bro, bro, you're not even caring about yourself.
[14:05]
B
I have something That I say all the time, dude, you have to be selfish to be selfless. Okay? If you're not where you need to be, if you don't have the proper energy that you need, if you're not in shape the way you should be in, if you're not living the standard that you know you should live, you don't have as much to give to other people. It's just reality. So for you to be able to truly serve other people, you have to get to a point where you were taking care of yourself and your own shit is in order. Otherwise, whatever you give them is going to be less than what you could give them anyway. And quite honestly, you're doing both yourself and them a disservice by not holding these boundaries that we're talking about.
[14:43]
C
Yeah. I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, I appreciate the work you have done to elevate everyone around you. My question is more of a general question about success. I'm 19, and I think that even the idea of just pursuing greatness excites the shit out of me. Being able to write your own path, build something crazy. I know it's something that I want to do. My question for you is, though, on the journey, you've mentioned this, like, hockey stick thing being the visual to what success looks like, but are there times on the journey where you have to intentionally take one step back to take two steps forward? I feel like people would call sacrifices, I guess. But what were some that you had to take to stay on the path and keep moving forward? And how do you make sure that that one step back doesn't become two?
[15:35]
B
Well, first of all, it's only a step back if there's no step forward later, and it's only a sacrifice if there's no payoff later. So really, the only way you lose in those situations, if you're doing it strategically, is. Is by now following through on the other part of the deal. Right? It's easy to take the step back and then just say, oh, well, I don't want that anymore because I changed my mind, right? Because it got hard. So this is a normal. This is normal. And there's been a number of times in my career where I've had to take steps back, quote unquote. But we're actually investments in my future, you know, and I'll talk about a couple of those in just a second. But let's talk about the hockey stick thing, because not everybody fucking understands that. So when you start out to do Something. Imagine you lay a hockey stick, the handle, the long part on the ground, and then you let the blade point up to the sky. That represents what has been the pretty standard curve of success for me. Now I know there's other people out there who maybe they had investors or they had big things happen quickly or. Right. But for me it's grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, way past the point where it's any fun or it's, it's, it's sexy. Yeah. And, and then eventually some things start to happen. You know, you, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, and eventually you accumulate enough lessons, quote, unquote skills that allow you to make the right decisions. And when that starts to happen, the curve goes up dramatically. And it's not that the curve just goes like that, dramatically. It's that now you've built the skill set inside yourself that you didn't have before. Right. If you had those skills in the beginning, the long part would be much shorter. But most of us don't. I started off complete rookie, all right. Like a lot of you guys. So it just takes time for us to, you know, get our asses kicked and then learn the lesson. And, and that's the reality of how it goes. And that's the reality of how it goes for any self made entrepreneur. Now there's been times where, you know, you know, for example, like there's been times in business where we were working on something and we had a lot of money invested in it and then we had to cut that because it wasn't working out. So then we had to cut loose, you know, big investments and time investments, energy investments, because it, it wasn't going to work. So you take a step back, you learn a lesson, you keep moving forward. Right? That's happened. I mean, I, that's happened a lot.
[18:16]
C
Like, keep happening.
[18:17]
B
Yes, a lot of times. A business, in fact, most of the things that we've tried didn't work. Most. That's what people don't see. You don't see all of these failures, these micro failures that happen in someone's success because they're not getting on the Internet and teaching you all that. Right, Right. Because nobody wants to talk about it. You get your balls kicked in. But the reality is, is like, dude, more things go wrong in business than go right. And all those things that go wrong teach you lessons and they become very valuable. You know, there's situations where, you know, you know, I had to give up equity or Partnerships in certain deals because we had to bring someone else in who was also skilled. Right. So while that may seem, you know, to be a step backwards, it's not because the people that have come in are highly skilled and allow us to grow to that. That next level. Next level, next level. So, you know, and. And there's all kinds of situations like that, dude. Like, there's all kinds of situations where you're gonna take a step back and you're gonna be like, is this the right thing? Or should I have done that? Or, you know, but it's. It's always the right thing if you keep going because you. You're. You're gonna get a better result in the long term. So I feel like for a lot.
[19:33]
C
Of youngsters, man, you know, this is something we talk about a lot, like, fear of missing out. You know what I'm saying? Like, for a lot of them, that step back might be you not going to go to that fucking party with your friends this weekend. You know what I'm saying? They're not looking at it like, they're looking at it as truly something they're actually missing out on or stepping back away from. But it's like the reality is, what's the payoff for not missing, for missing that? You know what I'm saying? What were some early times? I mean, I guess when did you start changing your mindset and your, you know, your path of success here?
[20:03]
B
Well, in the early days, dude, I. I didn't change. I still went out and partied. I still went out and did all the. I drank all the time, you know, and our business didn't grow. Okay. So when I. When I stopped doing that, when I started taking everything serious and I started getting serious, it grew very fast.
[20:24]
C
That's when the luck kicked in.
[20:25]
B
Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade it. I mean, like, I wouldn't trade. I have a lot of good memories. I've. I've got to experience a lot of things. I just would have been where I am now, I think, much faster. But I don't regret it because all those things made me who I am now. So I would. The last thing you want to be is some fucking business nerd with no life experience. You know what I mean?
[20:50]
C
A lot of those out there.
[20:50]
B
There is. And I feel like I'm successful, guys. Yeah, I feel like I got both.
[20:55]
C
Yeah.
[20:55]
B
You know, we got a long way to go in business, and we're going to take it there. But, you know, I. I Think the more serious you take it, the quicker things are going to go. And the less serious you take it, the slower things are going to go. And if you're in a hurry to really change your existence, that's where you go all in, bro. And you don't play video games and you don't drink alcohol and you don't go out with your friends and you. There was a time five or six years from like 2009 to like 2016, that that time frame were fucked, dude. I didn't leave my office. You know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't fucking leave. Like I was in my office all day staring at computer all day. I'm talking like 20 hours a day, right up, take a nap, get back up work, you know, and, and, but I, I believe that those, that's the time when the company was truly built, you know, and now we've brought in all these other smart people, like, you know, my brother and Jason. And you know, we've got all these other guys here that are a little older than us, that have experience and.
[21:58]
C
You know, now it's just 19 hours a day, right?
[22:00]
B
No, I mean, look, man, I mean, I'm surrounded by people that are, that are much smarter than me at this point. And you know, it's, it's a different game at this point. You know what I mean? You should, by the way, you should always surround yourself with people smarter than you. Always. Only dumb people with big egos don't do that.
[22:17]
C
Yeah.
[22:18]
B
So it's not about who gets the credit. It's about did you win or not win.
[22:23]
C
That's real shit. Yeah, that's real shit, guys. Andy, let's do our third and final question. Question number three. Andy. I just started a life insurance agency and I'm working on hiring some people. But I don't want to hire just anyone. I want to build a team that is success driven and willing to continue to grow into amazing, badass people that want to win at a high level like I do. What are some questions I can be asking or points I can be making to make sure people will be a good fit? Any advice on this would be appreciated.
[22:52]
B
Yeah, I mean, look, dude, here's the thing about building a team that people. Okay, look, dude, let me explain it like this. When, when college, college football, Alabama, Michigan, Georgia, they're all recruiting the same guy, okay? They're all coming in and they're all saying, hey, come see us. So you go on three visits and one of the visits is going to feel better than the other visits. The reason that it's going to feel better than the other visits is because that place has a culture that aligns with that individual. Does that make sense? Okay, so when we think of an organization, it's very important to understand that there is no employee tree. There is no place where you just. There's no secret website where you go out and hire these people and they show up and they're amazing. Now eventually, like, sometimes you're going to get lucky and you are going to have someone. But the reality is, is, you know, most people think of it backwards. It's not go out and find these people. It's build what you want internally in terms of the culture that you want and then find people. The people that align with it will find you. Okay, so most businesses, especially small, medium businesses, are the opposite. They pick these employees from random places based on experience from all different areas. They stick them in a organization and then they wonder why they don't have a. A good uniform culture or good teamwork. Okay? This is most companies, the great companies, the ones that are the greatest companies in the world that have ever existed, they have a very defined culture, all right? Apple runs things a certain way, Amazon run at the office level, C suite, and management runs things a certain way. Fucking, you know, all of these companies, all the biggest companies in the world, Anheuser, Bush, fucking Google, fucking, you know what I'm saying? They all have a culture. And that culture has either been established by the founder and passed out, or it's been intentionally built where they said, okay, this is what we stand for. And by the way, the best companies are those companies that intentionally build it. That means they have a set of core values that the management and the C suite and everybody, the owners live by. They, they make decisions, they hire by these, they fire by these, they live by these, they correct by these, by these rules, core values of the character traits that we're going to embody as individuals. This is just like when I talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion. And that culture will change once the individuals change. This is the same thing in business, okay? So you set the culture as an organization and then people will, will either fall in line with that and, and some will and some won't, okay? And then you're going to find as the company expands and as you get more people that are in line with the culture, more people begets more people, okay? So what'll happen is your company will start to attract these people because they can see from the outside. I Want to be a part of that. Okay, so. But this all starts with an intentional construction of a culture that represents who you are as the decision maker, operator, founder, CEO of the company. It's very important to listen what I just said, who you are, because if you try to go out and make a set of core values and cultural boundaries. And by the way, this is what. This is a. This is something I could teach in a workshop for a week, we could talk about. So I'm summarizing this down into like an answer, right?
[26:41]
C
It's also something can make you a bajillion dollars if you do it 100%.
[26:44]
B
100%, dude. But the point of this is, is you have to be aligned with the core values that you set. Because if you don't live those core values, your employees won't, your team will never catch, and the culture will never actually be created. So it's very, very important that the core values that you set for the business are authentically who you are or who you make a very strong effort to be. All right? Genuinely not. Not, you know, making up. And then you pretend like it's some sign that we see on the wall. That's what shitty companies do. Shitty. By the way, how many companies do you walk in, you see these motivational posters, right? Like, bro. Or you go to these teams and they got a saying on the wall. You know, play like a champion today and everybody touches it, but nobody actually lives it doesn't mean. And by the way, that's Notre Dame. We know that. They all live it. So I'm just using that as an example. All right? But we have to understand that as operators, founders, CEOs, the culture stems from us. We intentionally define it. We live it. We have the people that work with us live it. And then we will attract the people who fit. Just like the guys who want to play Michigan are going to go play in Michigan. The guys want to play at Alabama, they're going to play there. The guys want to play Tennessee, they're going to play there. And the reason they pick that 100% of the time is because the culture fits them. All right? So it's a very, very powerful concept. It's a high level concept. Not very many people know how to do it. But if you set that up and then build questions, because now I'm going to answer the question and then build questions in your interview process that dig out. There is no standard questions. You have to make them up. But what questions could you ask to find out if this person will align with the culture that you said. So what can you dig out of them? How can you get them to tell you stories about their life or situations that reflect the cultural standard that you're looking to reflect inside your company? Okay. And these are things that we teach in our day. These are things that I'm going to get into on the MF CEO project. But I mean, this is, this is a, like I said, like, this is a week long workshop that I could probably charge seven figures for for companies to come learn it. So like, this is a more, this is more involved than a Q A question, but that's the gist. Okay. Who are you? What do you want your company to stand for? Develop. Define that. Develop questions that reflect that. Interview people and try and do your best. You're not going to hit a one. You're not going to hit 1,000, dude.
[29:34]
C
You're hall of Fame's 300.
[29:37]
B
That's right. And if you hit 300 in the interview process, you will be in the hall of Fame.
[29:41]
C
Yeah.
[29:42]
B
Real talk.
[29:42]
C
No shit. Let me. I want to touch on this piece though that you mentioned about building people. Right. There is.
[29:48]
B
No, that's a whole nother. I'm glad you brought that up.
[29:50]
C
Yeah.
[29:50]
B
You have to become the coach, the mentor, the leader of these people. Okay. Both their skill set at work, but also their character.
[30:02]
C
All right, Take home. Yes.
[30:04]
B
Like, how can you be better? Why do we do things, Certain things this way, you know how most. I mean, dude, it comes down to a very simple question. Do you want a decent organization that does okay, or do you want a great organization that you enjoy going to work at and that makes a lot of money and that makes your customers really happy? I want the second. Okay? So I want to be around people that are like me. I want to be around people that are, you know, cultural fit. I want to be around people that work hard and do the right thing and, and I want to. That's what I want to do. I don't want to be around a bunch of people I got to drag down the fucking road. You know what I mean? Well, I know, but most people do. Yeah, most people do. The biggest question that I get when entrepreneurs come visit here is, dude, and this is what they say, where, where, where you hire your employees, we find all these people. Yeah. Like, and that's just the wrong understanding of, of. It's an oversimplified old thinking about how you could build an organization or a team. It's just what it is. Like, no one goes to Nick Saban and says, where the you find these people? Because everybody knows that Nick Saban builds through a certain culture and standard at, you know, when he was the coach of Alabama. You understand?
[31:20]
C
Yeah.
[31:21]
B
So no one says, hey. They just say, well, he's good at picking them. And then he molds them. All right? And as an operator, you have to take on the role of, you know, not just CEO or founder, but also big brother, sometimes uncle, sometimes dad, sometimes. Right.
[31:37]
C
Mom, sometimes.
[31:38]
B
Yeah, right. Like, best friends sometimes, you know, like, it's a. It's. You're. You. You have to become a true coach. And that's something that I think, you know, the leadership here at first form does a really good job of. Not just me, but everybody.
[31:51]
C
Yeah. 100%, man.
[31:53]
B
Yeah.
[31:53]
C
Well, guys, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday.
[31:55]
B
Yeah. Yep. All right, guys, well, let's get out there, let's kick some ass. And don't forget to go get on that email list, all right? Because that's coming in days. It's not coming in weeks anymore. The new MSCO project. So go get on that email list@andyforcella.com and then we'll see you tomorrow. With CTI went from sleeping on the.
[32:16]
A
Flow now my jury box froze Fuck up, Bow. Fuck up Stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.

838. Q&AF: Overcoming “People Pleasing” Behavior, Pursuing Greatness & Hiring Great Team Players

February 10, 202500:32:31

Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode: 838. Q&AF: Overcoming “People Pleasing” Behavior, Pursuing Greatness & Hiring Great Team Players
Release Date: February 10, 2025
Host: Andy Frisella
Guests: Co-hosts and listeners submitting questions

Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 838 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella, Andy delves into crucial topics that resonate deeply with entrepreneurs and individuals striving for personal and professional excellence. The episode is structured around a Q&AF (Questions and Answers Format) segment, where Andy addresses listener-submitted questions on overcoming people-pleasing behaviors, pursuing greatness, and building a high-performing team.

Upcoming Launch: The New MFCEO Project

Andy kicks off the episode by building excitement around the imminent launch of the new MFCEO Project. He emphasizes that this iteration goes beyond mere financial success, aiming to cultivate personal excellence across all facets of life. Andy states:

“It's about not only how to become successful, but how to become successful in all areas of your life...” (03:10)

He underscores the importance of personal responsibility and ambition, asserting that fostering excellence within individuals contributes to the betterment of society as a whole.

Q&A Segment

1. Overcoming People-Pleasing Behavior

Listener's Question:
A listener expresses exhaustion from always trying to please others, seeking advice on setting boundaries without upsetting people. (07:46)

Andy’s Response:
Andy acknowledges that serving others is integral, especially in entrepreneurship, but cautions against the downfall of trying to please everyone, which often leads to self-neglect. He advises:

“Saying no is a skill that people have to learn. You don't have to give a long explanation... No is a complete sentence.” (09:12)

He emphasizes the necessity of prioritizing one's own well-being and setting clear boundaries to prevent energy drain. Andy also touches on the psychological aspects, noting that difficulty in setting boundaries often stems from past conditioning, such as upbringing that fosters guilt over saying no.

Key Insights:

Balancing serving others with self-care is essential.
Clear and concise communication of boundaries helps in maintaining relationships without unnecessary guilt.
Building personal resilience is crucial for sustaining long-term success and preventing burnout.

2. Pursuing Greatness: Taking Steps Back to Move Forward

Listener's Question:
A 19-year-old listener is motivated to pursue greatness and asks about the necessity of occasionally taking a step back to advance further on the path to success. (14:05)

Andy’s Response:
Andy introduces the concept of the "hockey stick" curve to illustrate the typical trajectory of success, characterized by prolonged periods of growth stagnation followed by exponential advancement once foundational skills are acquired. He explains:

“It's only a step back if there's no step forward later...” (15:34)

Andy shares personal anecdotes about moments where he had to withdraw investments or partnerships that weren't yielding results, viewing these "steps back" as strategic moves for future gains. He emphasizes persistence through failures, learning from them, and using those lessons to propel forward.

Key Insights:

Early stages of any venture are often fraught with slow progress and setbacks.
Strategic retreats can create opportunities for significant future advancements.
Embracing failures as learning experiences is pivotal for long-term success.

3. Building a High-Performing Team: Hiring the Right Fit

Listener's Question:
A new life insurance agency owner seeks advice on hiring individuals who are not only skilled but also driven to grow and succeed alongside the company. (22:51)

Andy’s Response:
Andy highlights the importance of cultivating a strong internal culture that naturally attracts like-minded individuals. He draws parallels to college sports programs, where the culture is a magnet for recruits who align with the institution's values. He advises:

“Build what you want internally in terms of the culture that you want and then find people. The people that align with it will find you.” (26:41)

Andy stresses that merely recruiting based on skills without considering cultural fit leads to disjointed teams. He advises defining clear core values and ensuring that these values are authentically embodied by both leadership and team members. Additionally, he recommends developing interview questions that elicit responses revealing a candidate’s alignment with the company’s culture.

Key Insights:

A well-defined and authentic company culture is essential for attracting the right talent.
Cultural fit should be as important as skill set during the hiring process.
Leadership must embody the company's core values to effectively foster a cohesive team environment.

Conclusion: Embracing Excellence and Taking Action

As the episode wraps up, Andy reinforces the themes of personal responsibility, strategic perseverance, and intentional team building. He motivates listeners to implement the discussed strategies to elevate their personal and professional lives. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to join the email list for updates on the new MFCEO Project, emphasizing the importance of continuous growth and community support.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

On Setting Boundaries:

“Saying no is a skill that people have to learn. You don't have to give a long explanation... No is a complete sentence.” (09:12)
On Steps Back for Future Gains:

“It's only a step back if there's no step forward later...” (15:34)
On Building Company Culture:

“Build what you want internally in terms of the culture that you want and then find people. The people that align with it will find you.” (26:41)
On Personal Responsibility:

“It is your obligation to go pursue the best possible version of yourself because other people are going to follow you whether you understand that now or not.” (03:10)

Final Thoughts

Episode 838 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella offers valuable insights into personal development and effective team building. Andy’s advice on overcoming people-pleasing behaviors, embracing strategic setbacks, and fostering a strong organizational culture provides actionable strategies for listeners aiming to achieve excellence in their endeavors. By blending personal anecdotes with practical guidance, Andy ensures that the episode is both engaging and highly informative for those striving to elevate their lives and businesses.

Loading summary

Transcript83 lines

[00:03]
A
Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove counted millions in a cold bad booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head.
[00:15]
B
Shot case clothes what is up? Guys, it's Andy Prisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we bring you the answers. Now you can submit your questions for the show a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.
[00:37]
C
Questions into ask andyforcella.com or you go.
[00:40]
B
On YouTube in the comments section. Drop your question down there and we'll pick some from there as well. Throughout the week we're going to have cruise the Internet. We call that cti. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's true and what's not true and we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're going to have what's called real talk. Real talk. Just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then other times we're going to have 75 hard verses. Now, 75 hard verses is where people have completed the 75 hard program. Come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 hard program to, for lack of a better terms, fix their. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. You can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book. The book is available, Andy, for ella.com it's called the book on mental toughness. It includes the entire live heart program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, how to develop it, why it's important, and how to use it in your life to increase the quality of your life. Now we do something different on this show. We don't run ads. You're going to find that we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. So in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. The show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. You learn some new things, do us a favor and and help us Spread the word. All right. We like to say it like this. Don't be a hoe.
[02:22]
C
Show the show.
[02:23]
B
All right. What's up?
[02:24]
C
Hey, good morning. Good looking.
[02:26]
B
Yeah, that's right. I am good looking.
[02:29]
C
What's going on with you, brother?
[02:30]
B
Nothing, dude.
[02:31]
C
Yeah?
[02:31]
B
Yeah. Just counting down the days for the launch of the new MSCO project. We're down to days now and we're not going to talk about when it was launched or when it's going to launch. You're going to have to be on the email list to know when it launches. So if you're not on the email list, you should go to andy vercella.com subscribe to the Andy Graham, which is your daily, I don't know, pep talk, you know, and you'll find out about when the MF CEO launches, where it's going to be and how you can get it. So, yeah, let me ask you, how.
[03:05]
C
How excited? Like, like, let's be real. Like. No, no, fruit ship. How excited are you for. For that coming back?
[03:10]
B
Very. Because it's more than just teaching people how to make money at this point. You know, the first time we did the MF CEO project, it was about how to become successful, and now it's about not only how to become successful, but how to become successful in all areas of your life, accompanied with the idea that it is our duty to become the best that we can be. In order for this country to become the best that it can be, there has been an abandonment of personal responsibility and obligation because we have been quote, unquote, free for so long that people think they are free to live a shitty life and that America will just exist if all of our people here live less than the standard of what it should be. And that's just not how it works. So the goal here is for me to teach people who are young, not just young in age, but young and experience how to build a life, how to build a company, how to make money, but also understand our obligation to becoming the best people that we can be so that we don't have what just happened for the last 10 years in this country or 12 years or 15 years happen again, which is the removal of personal responsibility, you know, and ambition. You know, where we started to get into a situation where people started to see ambition, success and winning as some sort of negative thing. Right? That is all programming. It is not negative at all. It is the. It is your obligation to go pursue the best possible version of yourself because other people are going to follow you whether you you know, understand that now or not. And, you know, there was a time in this country where people understood that sacrifices were made and that citizens had an obligation to try the their best, to be their best. And that's something that we need to restore with the younger generation and all generations. And so, you know, I'm excited because it's not just about like, you know, hey, let's go out and make some money. You know what I mean? It's about like, hey, let's go make some money and become the best that we can be and set the right example and show other people how it's done so that we can create, you know, a movement of citizens that stands for personal excellence. Because when we are personally excellent in all areas, other people notice, they start to pick up the pace, they start to join the group, the standards raise and the standards in this country get better. So, you know, it's, it's a big mission. But, you know, I'm not CEO of, of. I'm not actively the CEO of you know, first form anymore or, or really any of the companies anymore. I've moved into chairman roles and investment roles, and I have the time to dedicate to this. So I'm really, I'm really excited about it.
[06:03]
C
Dude, it's gonna be awesome. Like, I feel like there's a lot of people out there now who have gotten on that page of understanding the obligation. It's just. Okay.
[06:10]
B
But like, now let's give them the tools.
[06:12]
C
What do I do?
[06:12]
B
Right?
[06:13]
C
And a lot of new entrepreneurs I feel can come out of this too, bro, which we need.
[06:17]
B
Well, I mean, bro, there's hun. There's, I mean, tens of thousands of entrepreneurs that started with the old MSCO project that are now, you know, 8, 10, 12 years in doing well.
[06:28]
C
Yeah.
[06:28]
B
So there's no doubt of the impact that it makes. But, you know, I, I just think that there's so much misinformation and there's so many liars and there's so much that the lack of real entrepreneurial experience and information is, is just, it's just lacking. And the principles that, that make up a actual successful life and business, it's a little more complicated than just getting ripped, you know what I'm saying? Like, so, you know, I'm sharing my 26 years of experience building a portfolio that's worth 10 figures, you know, with everybody else. So I'm excited about it.
[07:14]
C
I'm excited to get to it too, man. Well, it's Q A, so let's make some people Better today, guys. Andy, I got some good ones for you. Let's knock these out. Question number one. Andy. Andy. I've always been a people pleaser, and it's exhausting. Yeah, I want to set boundaries and prioritize my own happiness, but I'm afraid of upsetting others. How do I begin to change this mindset and stand up for myself? I don't want to go another year being a people pleaser. How do we do that?
[07:47]
B
Well, look, there's nothing wrong with pleasing other people or servicing other people. And a lot of times when we talk about, you know, when we talk about entrepreneurship, we talk about serving the customers. We get into this mindset, which isn't bad, by the way, of trying to please everybody. But the problem is we can't please everybody. It's impossible. And a lot of times when we try to please everybody, we end up abandoning our own self in that pleasing. And that's where you have to draw the boundary. You have to realize that when you're. When you're serving or you're giving, it's not being reciprocated. You know, it's time to draw a boundary of some sort. Like in a business environment, you know, you serve, serve, serve, they give you money. Right? In a friendship environment, you know, you serve, serve, serve, you get nothing back. Well, you should probably stop that because you're pouring in and getting nothing back. And we are. We are energy beings. And when we pour all our energy into one person or two people or people in general, and we don't keep any for ourselves or don't get any bad back, we end up in a situation where we feel drained or feel exhausted. Like he's describing or she's describing the question. So how do you do that? Well, saying no is a skill that people have to learn. And you don't have to, you know, just give this long explanation about, you know, why you're not doing things that, you know, you wouldn't normally otherwise do.
[09:12]
C
So, or other people want you to do.
[09:14]
B
That's right. And, dude, at the end of the day, dude, you do have to look out for the best interests of yourself because no one else is going to look out for you. It's the truth. So there's a very fine line between being a team player and also making sure that you are in the spot that you need to be in. And most of the time, when people can't set boundaries, it's because they have a hard time saying no, because there's such. They're so used to Pleasing everybody or trying to please everybody that it feels unnatural to them. So just like anything that we, you know, have to get good at, you have to practice saying no and then just letting it be. You know, no is a complete sentence. It's a skill to practice. And when you mean no, you should say no. And when you mean yes, you should say yes. And so sometimes that is going to be uncomfortable because people have been used to you saying yes to things, that you were now saying no to things. And you know, but reality is, is once you move away from those people and you just start operating like a normal human, nobody has a problem with people saying no. You know what I'm saying? So this is just something that you need to work on, saying no without, you know, overly explaining yourself. Now if there's people like in your family or close friends or, you know, they might be confused by this. So you, you might have to sit down and have a conversation. Hey, look, I'm pouring all this. I don't have that energy, dude, and I'm not getting anything back. Maybe they just don't realize that that's the dynamic.
[10:50]
C
So innocently ignorant, correct?
[10:51]
B
Yeah, well, they become accustomed to it. Yeah, right. Like when you start putting silk sheets on your bed and you sleep in them every night, you stop appreciating those silk sheets after a while. So it's important that you know, you realize that maybe some people are doing this with just because you've been so over accommodating for so long and they're not aware. So communication is a big deal. The ability to say no is a big deal. And you know, you have to understand that you have the right and the. Yeah, I mean, you have the right to, to make decisions that, and you should make decisions that are good for you, you know, and there's a balance in life. Like sometimes you make decisions that are good for other people that may not be as good for you, knowing that that's going to create a better sit. There's all different ways to think about this. But the end of the day, most people have problem with boundaries because they, they've not, you know, maybe they have a fucked up parent or somebody that's made them feel guilty for everything, you know, and you end up having a hard time setting a boundary because you feel guilty every time you say no. Dude, you're going to feel better when you set those boundaries, you know, and those people that try to guilt you and try those people are manipulative, you just cut those people out, bro. Yeah, I was Actually, I don't have. I don't deal with that no more. Like, I, I personally used to have a really hard time with that. I used, I used to be able. I used to let people make me feel guilty when I didn't give them what they wanted in the moment. And honestly, dude, like, it was one of the hardest things I had to get over. Sometimes I still struggle with it because I am that kind of a person.
[12:33]
C
You have a good heart, man.
[12:34]
B
Well, it's. Yeah. And people take advantage of it. And especially when you have financial means, you know, and you got a money.
[12:41]
C
Tree in the backyard. Yeah, Yeah.
[12:42]
B
I mean, dude, look, it's be. To be successful, you. You have to learn to set boundaries and say no, otherwise you won't be able to keep your money. So this is not just a skill that's going to make you feel better. It's also a financially advantageous skill to learn.
[12:57]
C
Yeah. 100%. I was going, I was going to. I mean, I was going to ask you this. I actually, I heard you, you say this before. I forget where we were, man, but you were like, other people's reaction to your decisions is not your concern. Was like the gist of it. And I think that got me, like, saying, no, that's.
[13:12]
B
I mean, that's true. That, that's true in, in some situations, you know, if it's your family or your, your, you know, your brother or your wife or so, you know, I mean, like, it's not as cut and dry as nuance.
[13:23]
C
Sure.
[13:23]
B
Correct.
[13:24]
C
Yeah. So overall, you can't, you can't hang, get hung up on how somebody else is going to feel about something that you're trying to do for your betterment of you.
[13:32]
B
100. But, but also, dude, is like, if you have those conversations and nothing changes, then you can't let that bother you either. You just have to say, well, it is what the. It is.
[13:41]
C
Yeah.
[13:42]
B
You know, I want to ask you.
[13:43]
C
This final little piece on this question too, man, because I think it's important too. You know, we've talked about accountability on the show. We talked about, you know, how do you can't hold somebody else accountable if you're not holding yourself accountable. Is this. Does that same kind of mindset apply to this?
[13:56]
B
Right?
[13:56]
C
Like, it's hard to take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself. You know what I'm saying? I think, yeah. I mean, look themselves out like that because it's like, bro, bro, you're not even caring about yourself.
[14:05]
B
I have something That I say all the time, dude, you have to be selfish to be selfless. Okay? If you're not where you need to be, if you don't have the proper energy that you need, if you're not in shape the way you should be in, if you're not living the standard that you know you should live, you don't have as much to give to other people. It's just reality. So for you to be able to truly serve other people, you have to get to a point where you were taking care of yourself and your own shit is in order. Otherwise, whatever you give them is going to be less than what you could give them anyway. And quite honestly, you're doing both yourself and them a disservice by not holding these boundaries that we're talking about.
[14:43]
C
Yeah. I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, I appreciate the work you have done to elevate everyone around you. My question is more of a general question about success. I'm 19, and I think that even the idea of just pursuing greatness excites the shit out of me. Being able to write your own path, build something crazy. I know it's something that I want to do. My question for you is, though, on the journey, you've mentioned this, like, hockey stick thing being the visual to what success looks like, but are there times on the journey where you have to intentionally take one step back to take two steps forward? I feel like people would call sacrifices, I guess. But what were some that you had to take to stay on the path and keep moving forward? And how do you make sure that that one step back doesn't become two?
[15:35]
B
Well, first of all, it's only a step back if there's no step forward later, and it's only a sacrifice if there's no payoff later. So really, the only way you lose in those situations, if you're doing it strategically, is. Is by now following through on the other part of the deal. Right? It's easy to take the step back and then just say, oh, well, I don't want that anymore because I changed my mind, right? Because it got hard. So this is a normal. This is normal. And there's been a number of times in my career where I've had to take steps back, quote unquote. But we're actually investments in my future, you know, and I'll talk about a couple of those in just a second. But let's talk about the hockey stick thing, because not everybody fucking understands that. So when you start out to do Something. Imagine you lay a hockey stick, the handle, the long part on the ground, and then you let the blade point up to the sky. That represents what has been the pretty standard curve of success for me. Now I know there's other people out there who maybe they had investors or they had big things happen quickly or. Right. But for me it's grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, way past the point where it's any fun or it's, it's, it's sexy. Yeah. And, and then eventually some things start to happen. You know, you, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, you make mistakes, you learn lessons, and eventually you accumulate enough lessons, quote, unquote skills that allow you to make the right decisions. And when that starts to happen, the curve goes up dramatically. And it's not that the curve just goes like that, dramatically. It's that now you've built the skill set inside yourself that you didn't have before. Right. If you had those skills in the beginning, the long part would be much shorter. But most of us don't. I started off complete rookie, all right. Like a lot of you guys. So it just takes time for us to, you know, get our asses kicked and then learn the lesson. And, and that's the reality of how it goes. And that's the reality of how it goes for any self made entrepreneur. Now there's been times where, you know, you know, for example, like there's been times in business where we were working on something and we had a lot of money invested in it and then we had to cut that because it wasn't working out. So then we had to cut loose, you know, big investments and time investments, energy investments, because it, it wasn't going to work. So you take a step back, you learn a lesson, you keep moving forward. Right? That's happened. I mean, I, that's happened a lot.
[18:16]
C
Like, keep happening.
[18:17]
B
Yes, a lot of times. A business, in fact, most of the things that we've tried didn't work. Most. That's what people don't see. You don't see all of these failures, these micro failures that happen in someone's success because they're not getting on the Internet and teaching you all that. Right, Right. Because nobody wants to talk about it. You get your balls kicked in. But the reality is, is like, dude, more things go wrong in business than go right. And all those things that go wrong teach you lessons and they become very valuable. You know, there's situations where, you know, you know, I had to give up equity or Partnerships in certain deals because we had to bring someone else in who was also skilled. Right. So while that may seem, you know, to be a step backwards, it's not because the people that have come in are highly skilled and allow us to grow to that. That next level. Next level, next level. So, you know, and. And there's all kinds of situations like that, dude. Like, there's all kinds of situations where you're gonna take a step back and you're gonna be like, is this the right thing? Or should I have done that? Or, you know, but it's. It's always the right thing if you keep going because you. You're. You're gonna get a better result in the long term. So I feel like for a lot.
[19:33]
C
Of youngsters, man, you know, this is something we talk about a lot, like, fear of missing out. You know what I'm saying? Like, for a lot of them, that step back might be you not going to go to that fucking party with your friends this weekend. You know what I'm saying? They're not looking at it like, they're looking at it as truly something they're actually missing out on or stepping back away from. But it's like the reality is, what's the payoff for not missing, for missing that? You know what I'm saying? What were some early times? I mean, I guess when did you start changing your mindset and your, you know, your path of success here?
[20:03]
B
Well, in the early days, dude, I. I didn't change. I still went out and partied. I still went out and did all the. I drank all the time, you know, and our business didn't grow. Okay. So when I. When I stopped doing that, when I started taking everything serious and I started getting serious, it grew very fast.
[20:24]
C
That's when the luck kicked in.
[20:25]
B
Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade it. I mean, like, I wouldn't trade. I have a lot of good memories. I've. I've got to experience a lot of things. I just would have been where I am now, I think, much faster. But I don't regret it because all those things made me who I am now. So I would. The last thing you want to be is some fucking business nerd with no life experience. You know what I mean?
[20:50]
C
A lot of those out there.
[20:50]
B
There is. And I feel like I'm successful, guys. Yeah, I feel like I got both.
[20:55]
C
Yeah.
[20:55]
B
You know, we got a long way to go in business, and we're going to take it there. But, you know, I. I Think the more serious you take it, the quicker things are going to go. And the less serious you take it, the slower things are going to go. And if you're in a hurry to really change your existence, that's where you go all in, bro. And you don't play video games and you don't drink alcohol and you don't go out with your friends and you. There was a time five or six years from like 2009 to like 2016, that that time frame were fucked, dude. I didn't leave my office. You know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't fucking leave. Like I was in my office all day staring at computer all day. I'm talking like 20 hours a day, right up, take a nap, get back up work, you know, and, and, but I, I believe that those, that's the time when the company was truly built, you know, and now we've brought in all these other smart people, like, you know, my brother and Jason. And you know, we've got all these other guys here that are a little older than us, that have experience and.
[21:58]
C
You know, now it's just 19 hours a day, right?
[22:00]
B
No, I mean, look, man, I mean, I'm surrounded by people that are, that are much smarter than me at this point. And you know, it's, it's a different game at this point. You know what I mean? You should, by the way, you should always surround yourself with people smarter than you. Always. Only dumb people with big egos don't do that.
[22:17]
C
Yeah.
[22:18]
B
So it's not about who gets the credit. It's about did you win or not win.
[22:23]
C
That's real shit. Yeah, that's real shit, guys. Andy, let's do our third and final question. Question number three. Andy. I just started a life insurance agency and I'm working on hiring some people. But I don't want to hire just anyone. I want to build a team that is success driven and willing to continue to grow into amazing, badass people that want to win at a high level like I do. What are some questions I can be asking or points I can be making to make sure people will be a good fit? Any advice on this would be appreciated.
[22:52]
B
Yeah, I mean, look, dude, here's the thing about building a team that people. Okay, look, dude, let me explain it like this. When, when college, college football, Alabama, Michigan, Georgia, they're all recruiting the same guy, okay? They're all coming in and they're all saying, hey, come see us. So you go on three visits and one of the visits is going to feel better than the other visits. The reason that it's going to feel better than the other visits is because that place has a culture that aligns with that individual. Does that make sense? Okay, so when we think of an organization, it's very important to understand that there is no employee tree. There is no place where you just. There's no secret website where you go out and hire these people and they show up and they're amazing. Now eventually, like, sometimes you're going to get lucky and you are going to have someone. But the reality is, is, you know, most people think of it backwards. It's not go out and find these people. It's build what you want internally in terms of the culture that you want and then find people. The people that align with it will find you. Okay, so most businesses, especially small, medium businesses, are the opposite. They pick these employees from random places based on experience from all different areas. They stick them in a organization and then they wonder why they don't have a. A good uniform culture or good teamwork. Okay? This is most companies, the great companies, the ones that are the greatest companies in the world that have ever existed, they have a very defined culture, all right? Apple runs things a certain way, Amazon run at the office level, C suite, and management runs things a certain way. Fucking, you know, all of these companies, all the biggest companies in the world, Anheuser, Bush, fucking Google, fucking, you know what I'm saying? They all have a culture. And that culture has either been established by the founder and passed out, or it's been intentionally built where they said, okay, this is what we stand for. And by the way, the best companies are those companies that intentionally build it. That means they have a set of core values that the management and the C suite and everybody, the owners live by. They, they make decisions, they hire by these, they fire by these, they live by these, they correct by these, by these rules, core values of the character traits that we're going to embody as individuals. This is just like when I talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion. And that culture will change once the individuals change. This is the same thing in business, okay? So you set the culture as an organization and then people will, will either fall in line with that and, and some will and some won't, okay? And then you're going to find as the company expands and as you get more people that are in line with the culture, more people begets more people, okay? So what'll happen is your company will start to attract these people because they can see from the outside. I Want to be a part of that. Okay, so. But this all starts with an intentional construction of a culture that represents who you are as the decision maker, operator, founder, CEO of the company. It's very important to listen what I just said, who you are, because if you try to go out and make a set of core values and cultural boundaries. And by the way, this is what. This is a. This is something I could teach in a workshop for a week, we could talk about. So I'm summarizing this down into like an answer, right?
[26:41]
C
It's also something can make you a bajillion dollars if you do it 100%.
[26:44]
B
100%, dude. But the point of this is, is you have to be aligned with the core values that you set. Because if you don't live those core values, your employees won't, your team will never catch, and the culture will never actually be created. So it's very, very important that the core values that you set for the business are authentically who you are or who you make a very strong effort to be. All right? Genuinely not. Not, you know, making up. And then you pretend like it's some sign that we see on the wall. That's what shitty companies do. Shitty. By the way, how many companies do you walk in, you see these motivational posters, right? Like, bro. Or you go to these teams and they got a saying on the wall. You know, play like a champion today and everybody touches it, but nobody actually lives it doesn't mean. And by the way, that's Notre Dame. We know that. They all live it. So I'm just using that as an example. All right? But we have to understand that as operators, founders, CEOs, the culture stems from us. We intentionally define it. We live it. We have the people that work with us live it. And then we will attract the people who fit. Just like the guys who want to play Michigan are going to go play in Michigan. The guys want to play at Alabama, they're going to play there. The guys want to play Tennessee, they're going to play there. And the reason they pick that 100% of the time is because the culture fits them. All right? So it's a very, very powerful concept. It's a high level concept. Not very many people know how to do it. But if you set that up and then build questions, because now I'm going to answer the question and then build questions in your interview process that dig out. There is no standard questions. You have to make them up. But what questions could you ask to find out if this person will align with the culture that you said. So what can you dig out of them? How can you get them to tell you stories about their life or situations that reflect the cultural standard that you're looking to reflect inside your company? Okay. And these are things that we teach in our day. These are things that I'm going to get into on the MF CEO project. But I mean, this is, this is a, like I said, like, this is a week long workshop that I could probably charge seven figures for for companies to come learn it. So like, this is a more, this is more involved than a Q A question, but that's the gist. Okay. Who are you? What do you want your company to stand for? Develop. Define that. Develop questions that reflect that. Interview people and try and do your best. You're not going to hit a one. You're not going to hit 1,000, dude.
[29:34]
C
You're hall of Fame's 300.
[29:37]
B
That's right. And if you hit 300 in the interview process, you will be in the hall of Fame.
[29:41]
C
Yeah.
[29:42]
B
Real talk.
[29:42]
C
No shit. Let me. I want to touch on this piece though that you mentioned about building people. Right. There is.
[29:48]
B
No, that's a whole nother. I'm glad you brought that up.
[29:50]
C
Yeah.
[29:50]
B
You have to become the coach, the mentor, the leader of these people. Okay. Both their skill set at work, but also their character.
[30:02]
C
All right, Take home. Yes.
[30:04]
B
Like, how can you be better? Why do we do things, Certain things this way, you know how most. I mean, dude, it comes down to a very simple question. Do you want a decent organization that does okay, or do you want a great organization that you enjoy going to work at and that makes a lot of money and that makes your customers really happy? I want the second. Okay? So I want to be around people that are like me. I want to be around people that are, you know, cultural fit. I want to be around people that work hard and do the right thing and, and I want to. That's what I want to do. I don't want to be around a bunch of people I got to drag down the fucking road. You know what I mean? Well, I know, but most people do. Yeah, most people do. The biggest question that I get when entrepreneurs come visit here is, dude, and this is what they say, where, where, where you hire your employees, we find all these people. Yeah. Like, and that's just the wrong understanding of, of. It's an oversimplified old thinking about how you could build an organization or a team. It's just what it is. Like, no one goes to Nick Saban and says, where the you find these people? Because everybody knows that Nick Saban builds through a certain culture and standard at, you know, when he was the coach of Alabama. You understand?
[31:20]
C
Yeah.
[31:21]
B
So no one says, hey. They just say, well, he's good at picking them. And then he molds them. All right? And as an operator, you have to take on the role of, you know, not just CEO or founder, but also big brother, sometimes uncle, sometimes dad, sometimes. Right.
[31:37]
C
Mom, sometimes.
[31:38]
B
Yeah, right. Like, best friends sometimes, you know, like, it's a. It's. You're. You. You have to become a true coach. And that's something that I think, you know, the leadership here at first form does a really good job of. Not just me, but everybody.
[31:51]
C
Yeah. 100%, man.
[31:53]
B
Yeah.
[31:53]
C
Well, guys, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday.
[31:55]
B
Yeah. Yep. All right, guys, well, let's get out there, let's kick some ass. And don't forget to go get on that email list, all right? Because that's coming in days. It's not coming in weeks anymore. The new MSCO project. So go get on that email list@andyforcella.com and then we'll see you tomorrow. With CTI went from sleeping on the.
[32:16]
A
Flow now my jury box froze Fuck up, Bow. Fuck up Stove Counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.