854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Episode 854

Title: Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Host: Andy Frisella #100to0
Release Date: March 17, 2025

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Overview

In Episode 854 of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella," host Andy Frisella delves into critical personal and professional development topics through a Q&A format. Joined by his co-host DJ, Andy addresses how individuals can maintain humility amidst success, balance ambition with present satisfaction, and establish effective boundaries in business. The episode is rich with actionable insights, personal anecdotes, and motivational guidance aimed at fostering authentic leadership and sustained growth.

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Segment 1: Introduction to the Show and Its Segments

Andy begins by explaining the show's structure, emphasizing the Q&A format where listeners submit questions via email or YouTube comments. He also introduces recurring segments such as:

• CTI (Cruise the Internet): Discusses trending topics and societal issues.
• Real Talk: Brief, impactful messages addressing listeners' needs.
• 75 Hard Verses: Features guests who have completed the 75 Hard program, sharing their transformative experiences.

Notable Quote:

Andy Frisella [00:37]: "If it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. It's something that you think people need to hear."

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Segment 2: The Origin of the MFCEO Project

DJ inquires about the origins of the MFCEO Project's name. Andy recounts a story involving a K-Swiss commercial featuring Kenny Powers, where his passionate and candid communication led his team to nickname him "MF CEO." This moniker eventually evolved into the podcast's title, symbolizing a project aimed at empowering individuals to take control of their lives with authenticity and relentless drive.

Notable Quote:

Andy Frisella [03:27]: "When we decided that we were going to create a podcast, we just decided to call it that MF CEO Project. The reason it was called a project was because we were trying to create a whole bunch of other MF CEOs to take control of their lives."

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Segment 3: Embracing Authenticity Over Conformity

A substantial portion of the episode focuses on the importance of authenticity in personal branding and leadership. Andy argues that genuine self-expression is the most effective tool for differentiation and success. He contends that societal conditioning from an early age fosters conformity, hindering individuals from discovering and showcasing their true selves.

Key Points:

• Authenticity as a Competitive Advantage: Authenticity cannot be replicated, making it a unique selling point.
• Rejection of Manufactured Authenticity: Attempting to emulate others' versions of authenticity results in inauthenticity and lackluster personal brands.
• Overcoming Early Conditioning: Individuals must break free from the pressures of conformity ingrained through education and societal norms.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [05:23]: "True authenticity is the most important and effective leadership tool that one can have."
Andy Frisella [08:33]: "Most people are too afraid to ever let anyone see [their authentic selves] because it's not in line with who everybody else already thinks they are."

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Segment 4: Managing Success and Avoiding Cockiness

Andy addresses the first listener question about avoiding cockiness amid early success. He emphasizes the necessity of grounding oneself in reality and maintaining humility. Andy shares his own perspective, revealing that despite significant achievements, he doesn't consider himself truly successful, highlighting an insatiable drive for continual improvement.

Strategies Discussed:

• Humility Through Action: Recognizing that success is a result of consistent effort rather than inherent greatness.
• Continuous Comparison for Growth: Unlike the common adage "comparison is the thief of joy," Andy advocates for comparing oneself to others as a means to fuel growth and surpass inspirations.
• Raising the Bar: Constantly setting higher goals to prevent complacency and ensure ongoing progress.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [16:52]: "You need to embody the true sense of humility, which is this: I am the result of my actions, and when my actions stop, my success will stop."
Andy Frisella [24:20]: "There is a drastic difference between people who are definitely going to win and those who aren't. Winners are committed; they do not give a how long it takes."

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Segment 5: Balancing Ambition with Present Gratitude

The second question revolves around balancing the pursuit of future achievements with appreciating current successes. Andy delineates the misconception that happiness is a destination achieved by reaching specific goals. Instead, he posits that happiness stems from enjoying the journey, which is fueled by purpose, discipline, and gratitude.

Key Components for Happiness:

1. Purpose: Identifying and committing to solving meaningful problems rather than solely chasing monetary gains.
2. Discipline: Controlling personal habits and decisions to influence positive outcomes.
3. Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging and appreciating current achievements and opportunities.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [30:16]: "Happiness does not come from you getting to a certain place. It comes from you enjoying the process of getting to the place."
Andy Frisella [34:46]: "Over celebrating is the most damaging thing that I've ever seen achievers do."

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Segment 6: Establishing Boundaries in Business

The final question addresses setting boundaries as a freelance graphic designer to manage time without compromising client relationships or income. Andy offers a candid perspective on the realities of business, particularly emphasizing that setting strict boundaries early on may lead to losing clients who expect constant availability.

Advice Provided:

• Acceptance of Client Expectations: Understanding that demanding clients might seek more accommodating service providers.
• Prioritizing Personal Boundaries: Making conscious decisions about what is acceptable for one's work-life balance, even if it means a reduction in clientele initially.
• Adaptability: Recognizing the need to meet client demands to remain competitive, especially in the early stages of a business.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [43:20]: "If you tell your customers no, they're going to go find someone that's going to say yes. That's reality now."
Andy Frisella [46:55]: "When you're getting started and you have customers and you start to tell them no, they're going to say no back and you're going to have less customers. So I mean, is that really?"

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Concluding Thoughts and Motivational Insights

Throughout the episode, Andy reinforces the theme that success is a relentless pursuit characterized by continuous improvement, authenticity, and unwavering discipline. He challenges conventional notions of happiness and success, urging listeners to adopt a mindset geared toward perpetual growth and resilience. Andy's forthright and no-nonsense approach serves as a catalyst for listeners to reassess their motivations, boundaries, and definitions of success.

Final Notable Quote:

Andy Frisella [41:09]: "Most successful people would rather win than be happy. Winning makes me happy."

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Key Takeaways

1. Authenticity Over Conformity: Embrace your true self to build a compelling personal brand and effective leadership style.
2. Humility Amid Success: Maintain humility by continuously setting higher goals and not resting on initial achievements.
3. Happiness Through the Journey: Derive happiness from the process of pursuing meaningful goals rather than waiting for end results.
4. Strategic Boundaries in Business: Balance client expectations with personal well-being by making informed decisions about boundaries, especially in the early stages of a business.

Andy Frisella's Episode 854 serves as a robust guide for entrepreneurs and ambitious individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of success without compromising their authenticity or personal well-being.

Transcript

[Unknown Artist]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head shot case. Close.

[Andy Frisella]

What is up, guys, It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A. F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.

[DJ]

Questions into ask [e-mail] or go on.

[Andy Frisella]

YouTube in the comments section of the Q and A episodes. Drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well. If you're new. We don't just do Q and A, okay? We've got shows within the show, right? Tomorrow you're going to hear cti. That stands for Cruise the Internet. This is where we cruise the Internet. We put topics up on the screen, we talk about what's going on, we speculate on what is true and what is not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes. We're going to get a real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. You might call it a rant. I call it what you need to hear. And then we have 75 hard verses. Okay? 75 hard verses is where people have completed the 75 hard program. Come on the show, they talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to extinguish the dumpster fire of their life. All right, if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the world's premier mental toughness program. It's the most popular mental toughness program in the history of Earth, okay? And it happens to be just the first phase of the Live hard program, which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the Real AF audio feed, which is available anywhere. Audio podcasts are. Okay. There's also a book. You can get the [e-mail] it's called the Book on Mental Toughness. It includes the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of extra content on mental toughness. Why it's important, how to utilize it to change your life. Okay? And you can get that andy for ella.com. it is not free, but it has a ton of useful info that you will not find on episode 208. But if you just want the program, you can get it for free. Episode 2.08 on the audio feed. Now, we have something that we do a little different here. We don't run ads. We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. Okay? In exchange for that, we do ask something. I don't ask for your money. I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. All right? So if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. It's something that you think people need to hear. Do us a solid. Don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

All right. What's up, dude?

[DJ]

What's going on? You know, I was thinking we got MFCO coming back, and, like, I don't think I ever actually. Like, where did. Where did the name come from? Like, how did you come up with MF CEO?

[Andy Frisella]

It's actually a funny story. So there was a commercial many, many, many years ago that you can still find on YouTube that K Swiss did with Kenny Power, the shoe brand. Okay, yeah, K Swiss, the shoe brand.

[DJ]

I had some K Swiss back in my day.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, I bet you did. And the. The gist of the commercial is that Kenny Powers is the CEO of K. Swiss, okay? And the opening line of the. Of the video is, konnichiwa. I'm Kenny Powers, and I'm the new motherfucking CEO of K. Swiss. All right? So back then, my employees, because I like to curse, especially when I'm giving passionate speeches to our team, started calling me MF CEO, and they got me a shirt that said MF CEO, and I started wearing the shirt. And when we decided that we were going to create a podcast, we just decided to call it that MF CEO Project. And the reason it was called a project was because we were trying to create a whole bunch of other MF CEO to take control of their lives. You know, have a little swagger, learn how to win, make some money, be a good person, and have fun doing it. So that was where the name came from.

[DJ]

I do like it.

[Andy Frisella]

And it stuck. I mean, like, fuck, dude. I pretty sure more people know me as that than they know of that commercial.

[DJ]

Yeah, right. No, no, I think that's a. Yeah, that's a fact. I do. Why'd you say, you bet I wore K Swiss? What was what? You said, you bet I wore K Swiss.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

What does that mean?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, you're, you know, you're a little bit light in the twinkle toes. You know what I'm saying? You know, I'm just saying.

[DJ]

That's okay. No, that's cool, though. No, I actually. Because, like, dude, like, I feel like most people, they. They're. They're at least. Maybe it's an old level of thinking, but, like, most people look at business and see it as such this, like, dry thing. And I feel like, you know, when I see you, you don't see that at all. You see life, you see passion, you see dry. Like, you don't really see that a lot, I guess.

[Andy Frisella]

But business, well, I think if you're.

[DJ]

A different other thing.

[Andy Frisella]

Look, man, nobody wants to come work with some dry turd, okay? Who's been sitting out in the sun and you're gonna go pick it grocery bag, and it crumbles in your hand? That is the epitome of most leaders in corporate America. And nobody wants to work like that. So I've just always kept it real, bro. Yeah, I say what I think, I think what I say. I communicate the way I communicate. And sure, there's been some people that didn't like it, but guess what? It's my business. I run it the way I want. And if you don't want to work here, you don't have to. So the people here sort of reflect that mentality. Now, everybody might not be, you know, the same way I am, which they're not, but they appreciate the realness and the authenticity. And who I am on this show is who I am in real life. Any of you guys that ask my close friends, because I hear this all the time, is you really, like. Yes, I'm really like that. This is how I talk in real life, and I just don't know any other way to be brought. Like, every other time I've tried to, like, clean it up or be a little. Yeah, I. I up. And. And I got some advice one time, I don't know, this was like, five or six years ago from somebody that I respected who told me, you know, when you go on stage and you do that, you know, it's just. It's not a good look. And, you know, you need to clean it up. And then I tried to clean it up, dude. And like, I sucked. And like, dude, I just. I just have found that authenticity is the most important aspect. True authenticity. You may not be like me. It doesn't. Like, a lot of people hear authenticity, and they think you got a curse or you got to talk loud, or you got to be this. You're trying to manufacture a version of authenticity that someone else is showing you, which means it's inauthentic to you, right? And so true authenticity, in my opinion, is the most important and effective leadership tool that one can have. And I also think it's the most important and effective branding tool that one can have. And we see this online. Like, I see a lot of you guys trying to create a personal brand. You're trying to. I mean, dude, my personal brand's so strong, I don't even have to post, okay? And the reason that is is because it's super authentic to me. I'm my own thing. And a lot of you guys, you see a version of something from someone else and you try to make that you into that version because you admire that person. And what ends up happening is you're really just a watered down, not as good version of that, and it gets no attention. And what people have to understand about authenticity, which is, you know, the basis, is that we all are built with our true, authentic being inside of us. And most people are too afraid to ever let anyone see that because it's not in line with who everybody else already thinks they are.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

All right.

[DJ]

They would rather risk trying to be like somebody else.

[Andy Frisella]

It's not just that, bro. You got to understand, they come through school, they go through grade school, they go through junior high, they go through high school. And what is the natural process through that? Well, the natural process through our schooling system is to fall in line or you're an outcast, okay? Be like everyone else or you're not cool. Be like these people, or you don't have any friends at the lunch table. So we start to learn this idea of conformity very early in life. And when we're little, people say, oh, you could be anything you want. You could do anything you want. You can build. You could be president. You could. And as we grow up, right, you can sort of see this in grade school, your teachers might say, well, yeah, you know, dj, you could be president. You get to junior high, and they're like, well, you could be. But, you know, you've got to have this and this and this. And then by high school, they're like, you need to be more realistic. You're going to turn wrenches or whatever they say, which, by the way, some of my best friends and most talented people that I know turn wrenches for a living. And. And they're. So it's not a knock.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

But the point is, is that you get talked out of your own belief and your own authenticity and your own dreams for conformity. That is forced. And that's why people have such a hard time ever developing or even knowing or discovering who they are as a person. And for you to develop an authentic brand, the best thing I can give you do. The best piece of advice that I can give you is to let it fucking rip, dude. Whatever, whatever comes out of your mouth, however it comes out of your mouth, whatever you're thinking, just let it go out. And your product will develop over time if you, if you, if you follow that play. But to start it in the first place, to ever have a good authentic product for personal brand, has to start with you knowing who you truly are. And we all know who we truly are, but we all don't have the courage to allow the world to see that. It's this little idea that we have inside of our heart, this little version of ourselves that, you know, we, we sort of imagine and fantasize about and think about that we're like, man, if anybody really knew this, I'd be the greatest of all time at this. But we don't let it out because we're afraid of what we've been conditioned behaviorally to, to understand, which is conformity wins. And in reality, conformity doesn't win. It's authenticity. So it's counterintuitive to what people grow up with and the cultural conditioning that they deal with through the schooling process. And that's why people have such a hard time understanding what authenticity really is and an even harder time expressing that. So, you know, a lot of you guys building a personal brand or you want to have people want to follow you, you need to develop this truly authentic version of yourself. Because, dude, people know when they're getting it and they can feel it. It's an energy. And whether it's, you know, got the language that they like or not, it doesn't matter because authenticity is the ultimate competitive advantage because no one else can be your authentic self. So if you're trying to be like everybody else and you're trying to be a different version of Andy or Goggins or Jocko or whoever you might look up to, all you are is a watered down version of that which doesn't get the attention because the real version is that much better. So what version of you is actually, you lay that out there and then continue to develop upon that. And that is how you become successful leader and build a brand that people resonate With.

[DJ]

Yeah, I love it, man. I call that a little extra sauce right there, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I mean, it's something that I see a lot of you guys struggling with, quite, quite honestly. Like, I don't. I could come on here and be like, yeah, you guys all suck, but that's not it. It's. It's not that you suck, dude. Like, you look, you guys are trying to do little content reels and you're getting no views. It's not res. Because all you're doing is repeating the. That other people that you look up to have said, and the people that follow you have already heard it from that person.

[DJ]

They know that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes. And they might not say that. They might not say, hey, you know, so and so says that, or so and so does that. But they've already seen it, dude. They've never seen the authentic you. So, like, the biggest piece of advice that I could give someone is just to be who the fuck you are. Because that version is not copyable by other people when it's authentic. There's no one out there that can do me better than me. Fucking no one. Tell me someone out there. No. Yeah, you can't do it. Doesn't exist, okay? There's nobody out there that can do Jocko better than Jocko. There's nobody out there that can do Gary Vee better than Gary Vee. There's no one out there that can do Goggins better than Goggins. There's no one out there that can do anybody better than the original version of that person's authenticity. And that applies to you as well. So if you want to know why you're struggling, ask yourself an honest question. Am I actually communicating and being and. And developing who I really am, or am I trying to be a version that I have consumed from someone else at some point in time? Because if it's the second part, you're always going to struggle. And if you're authentic and you keep developing your authenticity, personality and delivery and language and who you are, that will eventually become your competitive advantage. Like, that's what it is.

[DJ]

That's how it is, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I love it, man. Well, it is Monday, dude. So let's make some people better. Let's make some people better, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Let's do it. You caught me with a drink in my mouth.

[DJ]

Oh, that's fine.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's good.

[Andy Frisella]

By the way, I have one of these first form energies in a while.

[DJ]

Andy's about to become.

[Andy Frisella]

Since about an hour ago, I start.

[DJ]

Punching some holes in Drywall, baby. That green one's dangerous, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

It's Diet Mountain Dew, dude.

[DJ]

Gotta be careful.

[Andy Frisella]

And I love Diet Mountain Dew, but you gotta remember the only, the regular full Mountain Dew is the one that makes you punch holes. That's where. That's where they cut out. That's why it's called diet.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

They cut out the hole punching.

[DJ]

So you still want to. You just don't. Yeah, yeah, I get it. That makes sense. I like it, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, anyway, you guys want to support the show, you guys always ask how can we support? You could support by sharing the show, which a lot of you do, but a lot of you don't do horse hoes. You can also buy these first form energy drinks, meat sticks and protein bars at your local convenience store. And if they don't have it at your local convenience store, you can say, what the are you guys doing? That's how you help us out.

[DJ]

That's it. That's the way to do it, man. Well, with that being said, I got three good ones for you guys. Let's knock these out, guys. Andy, question number one.

[Andy Frisella]

It's so good.

[DJ]

It is good, man. It's good. That's question number one. Hey, Andy. Hope you guys and the team are doing good and kicking ass. My question today is how can I avoid being cocky once I start doing good and on a parallel path to winning? Because I saw a lot of people fall off once they start winning a little or even win once, like 10. Grover says I've been doing good lately and been making great progress and I'm gonna start getting paid more in the next coming months. And I need your advice on how I can manage that, manage my finances and my life on that. I don't want to feel like I'm at the top of the world because of the high testosterone a 20 year old would have just because I'm doing it, doing good for a couple of months. I started 75 hard and started being more focused and I regimented it as I can be, but I fell twice because I didn't hit my mark of drinking a gallon of water. Your advice and impact is greatly appreciated. And I love what you and your team do because you're really shaping the next generation of men in society. How not to up the path you're trying to go on. Andy, how do you do it?

[Andy Frisella]

You are 20 years old. All right? Let me tell you something that happens to 20 year old Cocky. You think you're winning right now. You are not winning. You couldn't possibly be winning because you're 20, all right? You don't know. You don't know anything about life. You don't know anything about business. And the fact that you've won a little bit honestly is probably very fortunate. And I hate to use the term lucky, but. But I'll just say you're fortunate because I'm going to be polite. You need to understand that if you start to believe that you are winning now, this is the best that you will ever get. I am 45 years old. I have, by all standards, achieved every single goal that I set for myself when I was your age, all right? And most people would look at me. I think almost everybody would look at me and say, that's a very successful man. I do not feel successful at all. I feel like a speck of dirt that has been overlooked, that is way behind, that is hungrier than ever to win. So we have to recalibrate how you are thinking, and how you are thinking should be, dude, I don't have any option but to go in. And I have to win so big because I have to take care of myself. I have to take care of my family. I have to take care of my friends. Because once you become that big of a winner, that's the reality of winning. You become the epicenter for everybody else around you. Every single person in your life will probably end up surviving because of what you're doing in your business, in your professional life. So let's break this down. How do you compare to me? Would you say you're winning compared to me? Okay, now I take that and I say, well, how do I compare to Jeff Bezos? All right? Do I think I'm winning compared to Jeff Bezos? Absolutely not. All right? And you aren't winning either. So to ask how do I keep from getting cocky or stay from getting cocky, well, you have to plant your feet in reality, bro, because you haven't done yet. All right? So. And this is also where you have to understand what the meaning of humility actually means. The meaning of humility has nothing to do with the car you drive and the house you live in or all this other that broke. People tell you the meaning of humility has to do with your understanding that you are a result of your actions and not a result of you just being great. You are winning a little bit because you did things that others were not willing to do. And if you want to continue to grow and continue to scale and continue to win over the course of your life, which you need to because you're not winning right now. You think you are, but you're not. You need to do a couple things. One, you need to embody the true sense of humility, which is this. I am the result of my actions, and when my actions stop, my success will stop. And you also have to understand that you are no better than anybody else, because if anybody else had executed the actions that you have executed, they would also be in your position. So how could you think it's you when if anybody else did the same exact things you did, you would be where they would be where you are. So start to understand the true definition of humility. And contrary to what all the fucking losers say on the Internet, it's very important to find people that compare yourself to. To remind you that you have a long way to go. All right? And we have all these people on the Internet who say, oh, comparison is the thief of joy. And never compare yourself to anybody yet, bro. That's what losers do. Winners always compare themselves to people. They're always competing. They're always working to get better. They're always working to surpass that person that they look at as the inspiration for their success. And guess what? The people who do that are the people who do end up surpassing that person, and they continue on a path of growth over the long haul. And by the way, I talked about this a few episodes. You need to adopt, and I guess this is the third part of it. You need to adopt the mentality of raising the bar before you actually hit your goal. Okay, yes, I have achieved every goal that I ever set out for myself when I was 20. But right now, at mid-40s, I have not achieved any of my goals because my goals have been raised. All right? And what losers do is they hit their goal, and then they're like, oh, I made it. I'm the best. And they walk around talking about how they're. They're the hardest shit in the world, when in reality, those people will be broke in two or three years because all the action that they were executing that produced this stops the point, they think they made it. So you have to understand how champions think. Champions will raise the bar over and over and over again and play the game for life, okay? And when they get close to where they're trying to go and they start to think about, man, I'm actually going to hit that automatically, dude. The. The goals change and get that much bigger, and then they pass their original mark without even really recognizing it. All right? So it's important to take some time and look back once in a while and say, all right, I hit that goal. But if you want real success, and I'm talking about generational wealth for real, you have to have the mentality that people who generate that have. And, yes, you're not going to live the conventional life that everybody else gets to live. You're not going to have, quote, unquote, the balance everybody talks about having. Those rules are for them. They're not for entrepreneurs. They're not for champions. They're not for successful people. The rules that the people in the stands on Sunday and NFL play by and the rules that the players play by in their life are two different sets of rules. And you have to decide, do you want to be a player or do you want to be a spectator? What do their lives look like? And I use sports a lot because it's easy for you guys to understand. The life of Tom Brady looks a hell of a lot different than the life of the fan watching Tom Brady, okay? And you have to ask yourself which one you want to be. And then you have to understand guys like Tom Brady guys are at the highest. They. They. They don't get everything. They get some things. And you guys all think, man, I really like to have what Tom Brady had. But then you still want these other things, and they're not always possible. So you have to really decide. And this goes back to the authenticity part. You have to. And I'm not here to tell you what the you should want for yourself. I'm here to offer the information to the people who want to win as big as possible. That's what the. I'm. If you think I'm talking to you and you're vibing, you're like, yeah, I want to win. Yeah. If you're sitting there saying, well, that doesn't sound like. Then I'm not talking to you, bro. I'm talking to these guys over here. You go over there. Go listen to somebody that makes you feel good for not doing. There's plenty of them.

[DJ]

Plenty of it.

[Andy Frisella]

There's plenty of them out there. They'll make you feel good for being a loser, right? Okay. I'm not one of those guys. If you're gonna stand in my camp and you ain't doing, I'm gonna tell you you're a loser. All right? So decide what it is you want authentically. And it's very important that that is an authentic decision, because if you pick the path of entrepreneurship and you're not willing to live that life, you will be miserable. It will ruin your life because it is just that hard. Okay? If this, if you're not willing to deal with that, go over there, bro. No one's judging you. You're going to be way happier, okay? Stop consuming, like, my information. Stop listening to all this success if that's not what you actually want to do, because all it's going to do is make you feel bad about yourself, all right? And like I said, there are lots of people out there that will make you feel good for just floating through life. And that's usually the most popular people. Okay, Just go, go to the self help version or category on podcasts and go to the top three. And they'll all tell you how special you are, how great you are, and how you need to relax and take a break and take a breather. And it's not about making money. It's about this and balance and all this other. That's why they make those shows. I'm not that show. I'm about winning, okay? So you have to understand that this is very hard. It has to be an authentically true choice for you. And then you have to understand that you're not going to get everything that those guys want, but you're going to get other things that are awesome. But back to the original question. Look, man, you're 20 years old. You haven't done. You're. You're legitimately broke. I don't give a what your bank account says you're broke. And you need to get over the fact that you think you've done anything because you haven't, all right? So humble yourself. Understand you still have a lot to learn. And then whenever you get to where you want to go right now, remember, you still ain't okay. Because Elon Musk could lose some change out of his pocket. Buy my whole life. All right? So there's always levels to it there. Yet they're not. And my goal is to build the next iconic American brand, AKA Nike. So when I look at people that I look up to, who do I look up to? I look at people who have done that. Who's done that? Phil Knight's done that. So until I'm beating Phil Knight, I haven't done all right? Which means there's a possibility that I could never be Phil Knight, which means I'll always. But I'm committed to that. That's my choice. You're committed to that?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And by the way, I will beat him. So that's the answer.

[DJ]

I love it, man. Yeah, I love it. Off of this, this actually leads perfectly into our second question.

[Andy Frisella]

People look back on that clip in 30 years and be like, holy.

[DJ]

Yeah, 30, bro. Maybe 10, maybe.

[Andy Frisella]

But I'm just saying for sure, in 30, I don't care how long. That's a whole nother thing. That's a whole nother thing. Let's just address this.

[DJ]

Let's talk about it.

[Andy Frisella]

Let's stress this. There is a drastic difference between people who are definitely going to win. And I like, when I talk to people, I can tell if they're going to win or not. Very simply. And you're probably wondering, well, how. You're probably full of shit psychic Andy. No, I have been alive enough to recognize a massive difference between people who make it and people who don't make it. People who make it are committed, meaning they do not give a how long it takes. I do not care how long it takes me to win this battle. I don't care. It could take me till I'm 90. It could take me till I'm 55. I don't give a fuck. But it's gonna happen. And that is how people think that win. People who do not win or say like this, I'm going to retire at 35. I'm going to retire at. I will crush you. You're playing on a unrealistic time frame, okay? Which means eventually you're going to get burned out and you're going to quit or you're going to lose to someone who doesn't give a how long it takes. So unless you're going to invest in entrepreneurship with your life to the point of, I don't care how long it takes, don't do it. Don't do it because you'll lose to people who do.

[DJ]

Man. I love it, man. Like I said, this, this, this topic, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question. You know, talking about, you know, trying to stay out on the path and.

[Andy Frisella]

Hey, did we get. Sorry, did we get live call INS going yet? Yeah, we got it all figured out. So you heard it from the man right there, guys. We're having live call INS real soon for Q A. So we're gonna have a way for you to call in. You're gonna talk to me directly and I'm gonna tell you how stupid you are.

[DJ]

We'll be flipping the coin. Yeah, flip the coin. That's what it is. But no, I mean, I don't mean.

[Andy Frisella]

To tell you stupid, but I am going to tell you the truth.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm gonna tell you like this kid here, bro, if you had called in and said that, I would have fucking burned your ass. You would have never forgot it. Yeah, but, but in 20 years, you'd be like, thank you. I can't wait for the live call. Ins, bro.

[DJ]

Yeah, no, but I mean, this, this guy said. This conversation goes perfectly into our next question though, right? Like staying on the path, you know, understanding you're not there yet. Right. Question number two, Andy. I'm an ambitious person. I've always had big goals and I'm proud of my work ethic. But lately I feel like I'm always chasing the next achievement with out enjoying what I already have. I reach a goal and instead of celebrating, I immediately think, what's next?

[Andy Frisella]

Good.

[DJ]

I don't want to lose my drive, but I also don't want to spend my whole life feeling like happiness is always just one step away. How can I find balance between striving for more and actually appreciating the present?

[Andy Frisella]

Because your, your problem is, is that you're misjudging where happiness comes from. Happiness does not come from you getting to a certain place. It comes from you enjoying the process of getting to the place. And you have to have three elements to become happy as an entrepreneur. You have to have purpose. You have to have discipline, all right? And if you have those two things, then you have to have gratitude. Okay? So if you have a purpose, here's my purpose. This is the problem I'm going to solve and not this is how much money I'm going to make. This is the problem I'm going to solve, all right? That's your purpose. Then you have discipline, which you can build. That's the whole point of live hard program, all right? And you can get into a position and build yourself into a version of you that can control the controllables. Because the controllables that you are in control of will dictate the outcome of your life. Most people believe that it's up to circumstance or happenstance or. Or the weather's bad or I didn't get this thing. Yeah, you might not get those things. That's why the rest of the fucking time you've got to be in control of your decisions. You got to be able to control what you drink. You got to be able to control what you eat. You got to be able to control that you're going to execute when the circumstances are not ideal because you understand that everybody else is stopping and you're continuing to go. You've got to develop these skill sets of grit, perseverance, discipline, all of the things that create what we call mental toughness, okay? When you become in control of the things that you control, your self esteem rises, your self worth rises, the respect you get from others goes up, all right? And that combined with a purpose, is going to make you feel pretty good. You're going to feel like, man, I'm the man, bro. I got this big purpose. I know I can do it because there's nothing I can't do, all right? Then you add in gratitude, which is, man, I know that I got a long way to go, but, man, let's look at what I did. This is a big deal, all right? And that is the hardest thing for a truly driven, ambitious person to do. The gratitude part, because we're always focused on the future. But you should take some time every day, whether it be through prayer or whether it be just through gratitude. A minute, two minutes, five minutes, that's all you need, okay? You don't need to sit there in your morning routine for two hours meditating to be grateful for what the you've done, all right? So you don't. You need to stop looking at happiness as a destination. This is where everybody it up, okay? It is not a destination. It is every single day of your life. You create happiness by executing against your purpose. What am I here to do? Who am I here to help? What problems am I solving? And taking action towards that every day, then being disciplined, okay? I'm in control of the controllables. I can control what I eat. I control what I drink. I control how I move. I control what information I put in. I control who I hang out with. I can control the messages I put out. And all of those things will dictate your outcome way more than the negative circumstances that happen to literally every single human on the face of the earth. All right? And then you take a little bit of time every day and you say, man, you know what? I might not be where I want to be, but, dude, this is the stuff I used to pray for. These are the things I used to want more than anything. Just take a minute to look around, dude, and be grateful. Even when I had no money, I always was grateful. And part of my prayer process was I always thank God that he made me me. All right? And I wouldn't trade places with anybody else. I wouldn't trade places with Michael Jordan or whoever. I wouldn't do that. I'm happy to be me and I'm grateful to be me. And when I didn't have anything, I was grateful for the Opportunity to become what it is I have become now and built what I have built now and create what I have created now. But now, like you're saying, I've raised the bar. Okay, so this is how you get there without over celebrating and still being happy. All right? It's not a destination. It's something you create through execution on your purpose, exercising controllable discipline and being grateful every day.

[DJ]

I love that. I feel like another thing here. We gotta like remove a fallacy.

[Andy Frisella]

And by the way, before you ask me that, I want to address this. The fact that you don't celebrate is not a bad thing because here's what mostly happens. We have the 20 year old kid in the first, he's asking, well, how do I not be so cocky? You know why he's cocky? Because he's celebrating and he's like, look how great I am. I'm so good. You ain't, bro. Okay, so when we start to think about what happens when people celebrate, usually progress stops because people celebrate, it feels good. They continue to do the thing that feels good. And then, you know, they end up at 40 years old talking about how they won the MVP of their high school football game.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

All right, so that's how that happens. Over celebrating, attaching your identity to the past, not the present or the future. All right, so over celebrating is the most damaging thing that I've ever seen achievers do. And it's sad because those people are capable of achieving far more than what they actually end up achieving because they stick to this thing they did was great one time. Guess what, man? People trip and fall into greatness at least once in their life, okay? You shouldn't attach your identity to it. I don't give a fuck what I did in the past. I don't think about it, I don't dwell on it. I don't think about conversations I had in the past. I don't think about, I don't think about any of that. I am always focused on what I'm doing today and what's going to happen in the future. And I have not found someone who is continuing to win over and over and over again who talks about their past. And if you pay attention, you can see this. All right, Watch some of these old NFL guys that do announcing for, for their games, all they talk about, they'll start off with this. It's, it's annoying as to me, this is why I notice it. Well, when I used to play it was this. And they go on this story of when I Used to play. But then you look at those guys lives and they're not actually doing anything besides talking about their past for a living. All right, so they're, they're not building companies. They're not leveraging their football success. They're not. You know what I'm saying? They get stuck in the past. Now think about that. You probably all have a friend who was an ex athlete and all they fucking talk about is how many home runs they hit or how fucking many touchdowns they scored in a game. Or that one, that one game I ran for 200 yards. Or what? Yes. So what, what are you doing now? Yeah, what are you doing now? What did you do today? All right, so that's what we need to focus on. And we need to quit thinking that not celebrating is such a bad thing because it's, it actually creates way more good in the world. The more you win, the more good that you create. So I wouldn't feel bad that you're not a big celebrator. I am. I am probably the worst celebrator of all time. And it is what I, it's, it's. I think it's responsible for, for the, the continual growth path of going more and more and more and more and more.

[DJ]

It's not about what you're doing is what you're doing. That's real.

[Andy Frisella]

I don't put any value in that.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Like, bro, and by the way, I fucking expect to win. My expectation is to win. I'm not hyped. When I celebrate or when I win, I'm like, okay, that's how it's supposed to go.

[DJ]

Yeah. You're not surprised?

[Andy Frisella]

No, not at all. Like, that's how it's supposed to go. And anything other than that is unacceptable. And that's another difference that successful people have from everybody else. They expect to win. They are not excited when they win because that's what they were supposed to do. All right, Nick Saban. What? Bill Belichick, the best coaches that ever played. What do you see them do when they win? They go up on the podium, they say, you know what? The guys played a great game. We. We up here. What do you mean, Coach, you just won the super bowl, right? Well, we could have done better here.

[DJ]

Got some things to go.

[Andy Frisella]

We got some things to work.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, but you know, next year we're going to make sure that we build on this. And they're already thinking they're, they're planning for this? Yes, already, bro. They. They expected that. Okay, great. People expect greatness and they don't tolerate anything else. And that's something that a lot of people just don't understand. You have to have unreasonable expectations of winning. And I don't know somebody who wins that doesn't, you know, And. And dude, let's be real. Let's take the occasional coach who wins out of the blue. How do they operate? We. Well, they get the Gatorade shower and they're partying with their team and. And then they don't win another title ever.

[DJ]

You don't hear about him no more. Yeah, yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

So like, dude, it's. These are all some of the things my point of saying all of this is the way you think and the way the first person thought needs to be true, needs to be dialed into a winner's mindset. And winners are not cocky. You may think they're cocky because they talk cocky in the moment, which is usually necessary for them to do the thing that they want to do. You know, everybody thinks someone who talks before a fight or before a sporting event is cocky, dude. A lot of times that's them talking themselves into going out there, into battle. You know what I'm saying? But dude, people who've never done it, they don't get that. Right. There's just a lot of things that people don't understand. And, and they think it's like this polite, you know, courteous, everybody. Dude, it's not. Yeah, you have to be a animal. And I don't know how else to.

[DJ]

Tell you that's right. I mean, to your point, because I really, I don't want to miss this piece here because I think it's also important, man. Like, we talk about it, you talk about it with anxiety, right? And like this idea of happiness, I want you to dispel this myth. Like people expect or they have this like, expectation that they're supposed to be happy all the fucking time.

[Andy Frisella]

No, it's not the case. First of all, happiness isn't even the goal. Winning is the goal. Dude. If you ask the fucking most successful people that you look up to if they'd rather win or be happy, they're gonna tell you they'd rather fucking win.

[DJ]

Rather win.

[Andy Frisella]

And what they're really gonna tell you is winning makes me happy. So it's not. Dude, that's, you know, I'm sure there's gonna be a lot of people that hear that and they're like, woo, food. That's not very fun. No shit. That's why you can't do it. Bank Accounts.

[DJ]

Fun.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's not. Yeah, that's right. It's fun when I don't have to fucking worry about a goddamn thing.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know, financially. Yeah, it's fun. Like, you know what's fun? It's fun when I step on throats that talk about me, you know, in business or said I couldn't do it or, you know, tried to come at me in business. And I will quietly keep my mouth shut and then step on their face as hard as I can with a smile.

[DJ]

That's fine.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's fun. So, you know, like there's. Dude, you either get it or you don't. And the problem with entrepreneurship is that the Internet has convinced everybody that they should be an entrepreneur. And that's just not fucking true. Okay? A lot of people, most people statistically, will be much happier in a regular job because they don't have to take it home. They don't have to work 24 hours a day. Entrepreneurship is different than it was 30 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago. And I've been running, I've been in business almost that whole time. And I can tell you it's way different. You used to be able to go home and fucking not have to deal with it. With the advent of cell phones, technology and the Internet, now it's a 24 hour gig, bro. And. And it's unfair, but it's what it is. So it ain't for everybody, bro.

[DJ]

I love it.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but it can be for you if you're willing to shift your mindset into the things that we're talking about here.

[DJ]

Necessary. I love it, man. Well, the guys. Andy, let's get to our third and final question. You know, we've been talking about boundaries in the personal development space, like just personal life. And this question is specifically about boundaries in business. So let's get into question number three. Guys. Andy. I'm a freelance graphic designer juggling multiple clients and often find myself working late into the night to meet deadlines. I know I need better boundaries, but I'm worried that saying no will hurt my relationships with clients or impact my income. How can I manage my time better without jeopardizing my work? Boundaries in business.

[Andy Frisella]

You're correct in your assessment. If you tell your customers no, they're going to go find someone that's going to say yes. When you're in the early stages of business, which you are, I don't care how long you've been doing it, you're still in the early stages. Your customers will find people that will say yes if you say no. That's reality now. You have to make a decision on what is acceptable for you. But the reality is, is if you start to try to draw those boundaries the way you're trying to, you will make less money. You need to understand that you will have different. You will have a different class of customers. You will not work with the most aggressive, most powerful, most ass kicking brands, because that's what they expect. Okay? We're dealing. We're now on our energy drink. We're partners with anhe bush, one of the biggest companies in the world, okay? They work 24 hours a day, all right? And I'm actually grateful for them being around because it's showing a lot of people in my system what it actually takes. All right? There is no, oh, I can't do it when it's got to be done. Tomorrow has to be done, okay? And if it's not done, guess what happens? Bad things to you.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

All right? And people say, well, that's not really that fair. Well, bro, you okay? Go do something else. Go, go do what? Do something else.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

No one's forcing you to do it. Do something else. And if you're a freelance designer, I'll be real. I've dealt with people like this. The minute they say no or the minute they say I'm. I'm. This is my weekend. You're bothering me on the week or some. You. I'm finding someone else because we have to move now. I'm responsible for every motherfucker in this building, and you're not meeting my needs anymore. And I'm not judging you for setting that boundary, okay? That might be a very responsible decision, and that's your life, but this is also my life. So I have to find someone that's going to work at my pace.

[DJ]

I got boundaries, too.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right. So the truth of the matter is you aren't going to keep your customers if you draw those boundaries the same way. And a lot of people that don't know shit about business will say, well, you don't need those customers. Well, I don't know. They aren't that easy to get. Like, everybody thinks, all right? So you have to make a decision, what's appropriate for you, what's appropriate for your life, what's appropriate for your family, and make that decision. But. But when you're getting started and you have customers and you start to tell them no, they're going to say no back and you're going to have less customers. So I mean, is that really even like every graphic designer, designer person that I've dealt with, which dude is like in the hundreds at this point that did that, which by the way, creatives are notorious for doing this, that what you were talking about right here. They are idealistic people and they're very creative and it's a great thing because we need those people. But they do things like that. They, they start to think, well I have this skill that's specialized and no one else has it. I don't know if you know this bro, but you can like type your right into AI right now and get it done. So it's even more important than ever that you are accommodating and fast and professional and kick ass to be competitive with what's going to happen. Otherwise you will not be in business.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So my, that's just the truth. And a lot of people don't like that. They say, well that's not fucking right. Listen man, I didn't make the fucking rules. I'm just telling you how it is.

[DJ]

Play by them though.

[Andy Frisella]

Well yeah, and, and, and your customers to pay your bills, you play by their rules. And you know, I don't get to stop and you know, running my business and say, you know, hey guys, it's Friday night at 7:00, so sorry, I can't help you, and then show back up on Monday and expect the business to be there. That's not what the fuck happens. Those customers go out and get. We live in a convenience economy, okay? And if you want to point blame at someone, you can point blame at Amazon. And I'll tell you why. Because Amazon has trained the customer to now expect things immediately, okay? At first, their first 12, 15 years in business, they didn't have to collect sales tax, so they had a 10 point advantage on price. When the government started making them collect tax, now they went to convenience. So I mean now they've trained everybody to get things so fast that if you can't do it fast, you're, you're irrelevant. So yeah man, and, and like I was getting ready to say, you know, creatives are notorious for like trying to do this and then not understanding why they get fired or why you don't work with them. So you know, the best creative people that I work with, they, they, they pick up the whatever. Like if I like if I say, hey, I gotta have this done, it's done like right then. And that might not be fair. Like there's times when I text Madad at fucking 11 o'clock at night. And I say, hey, man, can you do. And I'm always polite about it. I'm like, hey, can you do this? I fucking get it right back, dude. What's it take? Five minutes, 10 minutes? Like, it's immediate, but that's also why he's on the team and why he's doing very well, going to continue to do better and better and better.

[DJ]

So, yeah, I wanted to actually do this too, because you mentioned, like, you know, especially in the beginning stages of a business to have that type of attention and, you know, willingness. But like, bro, been with you for five and a half years, you're being a bit. You've been in business for 26. I see you still going at 11 o'clock at night.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I'm saying. So it's like, it doesn't. It's not really like a beginning thing.

[Andy Frisella]

No, it's what I'm saying is it's especially important in the beginning, okay? And DJ, I am at the beginning, okay. It took me 26 years to build the foundation of what I actually want to do. And I'm just now getting a seat at the big boy table. You know, I had to build my own chair and it took that long to build it from nothing. Now I have a chair. Now I'm going to go to battle against these motherfuckers, which they are not going to like, okay? Because I'm hungry as. And when I look at. There's a reason why I talk about this all the time. What day is it?

[DJ]

It's first day. Day one.

[Andy Frisella]

It's day one, okay? And that's how I look at it. Every day is day one. What happened yesterday, what I did last week, what we did last year doesn't matter. We're here now. Today is day one. Where are we going? And that's how I look at my life. And eventually, you know, I'm gonna run out of time and you know, like everybody at the end of my life, I'm sure I'll have a few regrets about certain things. But there's trade offs to things and there's costs to things and there's. It is what it is. You got to decide what the. You're willing to give or not give to have what you want. And neither. None of those decisions are wrong, by the way. I just happen to talk about them wrong because we're in the context of winning in a financial game, business game.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So you know when you say, well, why do you still have that? Well, because I genuinely believe that I'm at the fucking beginning. You know what I mean?

[DJ]

Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Well, guys. Andy, that is a hell of a way to start a Monday, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, guys, let's. Let's get going. We'll see you tomorrow on cti. Don't be a ho.

[Unknown Artist]

Share the show Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze Fuck up boat, fuck up stove Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch Booted SWO Got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case close.