857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Episode 857 Summary

Release Date: March 24, 2025
Host: Andy Frisella
Episode Title: Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids

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Introduction and Show Format

In Episode 857 of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella," host Andy Frisella welcomes listeners to a special Q&A and Feedback (Q&AF) session. He outlines the various segments of the show, including:

• Q&AF (Questions & Answers): Listeners submit questions via email or YouTube comments, and Andy provides insightful responses.
• CTI (Cruise The Internet): Discussions on trending topics, dissecting truths and falsehoods, and brainstorming solutions.
• Real Talks: Brief, impactful messages from Andy focusing on motivation and personal development.
• 75 Hard Verses: Stories from individuals who have completed the 75 Hard program, sharing their transformative experiences.

Andy emphasizes the importance of sharing the show to help it grow and highlights his entrepreneurial ventures, such as the Live Hard program and his book on mental toughness.

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Q&A Session

1. Getting a Raise As a Top Performer

A listener, Steve, shares his frustration about receiving a top-tier performance review without a corresponding merit increase. Andy addresses Steve's dilemma by highlighting several key strategies:

• Prepare Thoroughly: Andy advises Steve to gather concrete data demonstrating his contributions. "You have to bring the data because a lot of people will just bring you arbitrary shit emotions." [10:15]

• Initiate a Direct Conversation: Schedule a meeting with the manager to discuss the discrepancy between performance and compensation. "I would have no qualms about having this very direct conversation." [11:20]

• Leverage Value: Andy emphasizes that to secure a raise, one must become indispensable to the company. "You have to be so fucking valuable that the company can't afford to let you walk." [13:38]

• Be Ready to Move On: If the company remains unresponsive, Andy encourages considering other opportunities where your performance is adequately recognized. "Understand that this might be an indication that no matter how hard you work, you're going to be capped at your earning potential." [13:55]

Notable Quote:
"Personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion." [08:12]

2. How To Be Calm Under Pressure

A second question revolves around maintaining composure during stressful situations. Andy shares his philosophy and practical advice:

• Adopt a Prepared Mindset: Anticipate potential challenges and have contingency plans in place. "You have to remain focused and understand that no matter what is going on, there's a course of action to get yourself out." [26:14]

• Develop Confidence Through Preparation: By consistently preparing for possible outcomes, one can remain calm when crises arise. "If you develop confidence in what you know to do when bad things happen." [26:14]

• Experience Builds Calmness: Andy relates his own experiences of early business struggles that forced him to handle stress effectively. "The way you get good at dealing with stress is by being exposed to a lot of stress." [36:05]

• Continuous Learning: Emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes and preparing for future challenges. "Every mistake you make saves you millions when you get big." [37:23]

Notable Quote:
"Only the paranoid survive." [26:27]

3. Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids

The final question addresses fostering an entrepreneurial spirit in children. Andy provides comprehensive guidance on nurturing this mindset:

• Expose to Entrepreneurship Early: Encourage children to engage in small business activities, like making and selling products. "Your job as a parent is to surround her by entrepreneurial data and information." [42:40]

• Lead by Example: Demonstrate entrepreneurial behavior and discuss real-life business scenarios to instill a sense of possibility. "We would go to car dealerships and talk through the process of starting and growing a business." [45:49]

• Encourage Creativity and Scaling: Teach children to think about scaling their small ventures into larger businesses. "How many friendship bracelets do you have to sell to get to that million-dollar house?" [46:59]

• Promote Resilience and Responsibility: Help children understand the value of earning and the importance of not being spoiled. "You have to help them create that entrepreneurial curiosity that eventually leads to a breakthrough." [48:12]

Notable Quote:
"Your ultimate legacy on this earth is going to be what those kids do." [52:19]

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Key Insights and Takeaways

• Assertiveness in Career Advancement: Top performers must actively advocate for their worth, armed with concrete evidence of their contributions.

• Stress Management Through Preparation: Developing a strategic mindset and preparing for potential challenges can significantly enhance one's ability to remain calm under pressure.

• Cultivating Future Entrepreneurs: Early exposure, practical engagement, and leading by example are crucial in fostering an entrepreneurial mindset in children.

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Conclusion

Andy Frisella wraps up the episode by reinforcing the themes of personal excellence, proactive career management, and the importance of nurturing the next generation of entrepreneurs. He encourages listeners to share the show and support his ventures, emphasizing the collective responsibility to elevate personal and professional standards.

Closing Quote:
"Don't be a hoe, Share the show." [52:24]

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This episode of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella" offers valuable insights for professionals seeking career growth, individuals aiming to manage stress effectively, and parents dedicated to fostering an entrepreneurial spirit in their children. Andy's candid advice and practical strategies provide listeners with actionable steps to achieve personal and professional excellence.

Transcript

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head shot case. Close. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.

[DJ]

Questions into Ask andy@andy foursola.com or you.

[Andy Frisella]

Go on YouTube under the Q and A episodes. Drop your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Now, throughout the week we have shows within the show. It's not always Q A. Tomorrow we'll have cti. That stands for cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's going on. We talk about what's true and what's not true. We. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we might have real talk. Real talks. Just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then sometimes we have 75 hard verses. That's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on. The show talks about how their life was before, how their life is after, and how they use the 75 hard program to take control of their life. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which can be found for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 2,08 on the audio feed. There's also a [e-mail] called the Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that book. It's not free, but it does go much further in depth than what the podcast does. So it has the entire live hard program. It has the entire 75 hard book inside of that book and it has multiple chapters on mental toughness and a whole lot of extra stuff as well. So that book is [e-mail] with that being said, we are the largest show in the world that does not run ads. Now, I do have an ask, and the ask is very simple. 1. Share the show. Help us grow the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. If you learn some valuable Skills, do us a favor and help us grow the show by sharing it. All right? We have a saying we say around here, goes like, don't be a hoe, Share the show. All right? And then also, when you see first form in your convenience stores, in your grocery stores, wherever you buy your stuff, look for these first form energy drinks and first form snacks, meat sticks, protein bars, and give us a little support that way. That goes a long way for us. So that's all I ask. So that's that. What's up?

[DJ]

What's going on, Yokeness?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, I'm getting there. Yeah. Getting back.

[DJ]

Yeah, man. No, it's. It's a great day, man. We got, we got. Got some good questions here.

[Andy Frisella]

Really?

[DJ]

Yeah, I mean, I think so. To be determined.

[Andy Frisella]

How many. So what do you got?

[DJ]

I got three good ones for you.

[Andy Frisella]

That's what I thought.

[DJ]

Yeah, I got three good ones for you, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. All right.

[DJ]

Everything good with you though, before?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, man, everything's good. You know, staying focused, feeling real focused, more focused than I felt in quite a long time. Feeling good, excited about the future, you know, got a lot of new stuff getting ready to launch, as you know, but you guys don't know really yet. But the biggest thing you do know about, which is the. The MFCO projects coming back, it's going to be on an app and we're going to inform you about that when it drops via email. I'm not really going to talk about it on the show. I'm not going to go out there and talk about it on social. This is for you guys who have supported me for many, many, many years and you can get that, you know, through the email. So if you're not on the email list, I know most of you guys are because you get the Andy Grahams every day. Go to my site, andyforcella.com Register for the Andy Graham, which is a daily email that you're going to get. I'm not going to blow you up with a bunch of bullshit every single day. Fifteen emails a day. I hate that shit, too. We're not going to sell your information to other people. Go on there, sign up. You're going to get valuable information sent to your inbox once a day and. And then you'll get an email about when we drop the app. So, yeah, yeah, I'm excited about that, bro. As you know, we've been recording those for quite some time and. And I'm having fun recording them, dude. Like, it's. It's really my wheelhouse. To talk about business and success and winning and mindset and the psychology behind winning, how you have to think, how you have to act. And then obviously the techniques of how to win. These are the things I enjoy to talk about the most. And it energizes me as opposed to talking about the current events which sometimes leave me frustrated, as they do you. But you know, I think it's important that we need, we need to understand both.

[DJ]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Frisella]

Especially as entrepreneurs, you know, we have to understand the social environment because if we don't have good soil, meaning freedom to plant our seeds in, they can't sprout. And so in addition to that, we need the techniques. And you know, we have some big problems going on in the world and in this country. But the reality is, is those problems are solved by each of us individually. And like I say to you guys all the time, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. And that includes becoming financially free of the system, building things, becoming the best possible version of ourselves. Building, creating, becoming everything that we were here to be. And once we become great, our family picks it up. When our family picks it up, our neighbors pick it up. When our neighbors pick it up, our community picks it up. And the standard of everybody raises. And we all have a unique responsibility and an independent responsibility to do that. And so I'm excited to, you know, sort of merge these two things together that I've done over the last 10 years. You know, we spent the first five years doing MF CEO project. We spent the last five doing real AF. And I'm really excited to, to really show you guys what we have, you know, cooked up for you. It's, it's much different than the old MF CEO. We have a lot of people who have gone on to create eight, nine figure businesses that credit that information for them doing. So we're going to be bringing those people on, you know, not your typical Internet quote unquote influencers, but actual people just like you guys to talk about how they did it, what information was the most valuable, the things they've learned through their experiences. So it's gonna be, it's gonna be cool, dude.

[DJ]

I'm excited for it.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm excited to do it, bro. Every time I do it. And I know you're usually not there when I do it, but these guys are all there and like, dude, every time I get up, they'll walk out of there, I'm like, yeah, that was awesome.

[DJ]

Laying down the meat, dude.

[Andy Frisella]

It's just. No, it's just, it's Just, I feel like it's tactical, real information that can improve people's lives today. And that feels good, right?

[DJ]

Well, the time is ripe for it too.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. We have a lot of young people who have been lied to for their entire school career. That's a whole nother thing. That's a whole nother reason for me doing this is I realized that a lot of our young people have been misled and lied to and told things that aren't true and indoctrinated into ways of thinking that, you know, and they're figuring it out and now they're like, well, what do I do now? And, you know, we have parents spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to send their kids to college where they're not even really learning anything from people who have never done anything. I, I'm, you know, like, we got to fix this.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And I'm just excited to do my little part of it. You know what I mean?

[DJ]

100, man. Well, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. So let's make some, some people rebellious today.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Let's do it, guys.

[DJ]

Andy, question number one. Andy, I'm not even sure where to begin with this question, but I'm looking for your opinion on my situation. I recently received my yearly performance review, which I met or exceeded all expectations, was a top performer with top quality results, and all year long my manager told me, quote, I have no items for improvement. Just keep up the great work. Overall, it was a great review. However, when discussing the merit increase that is supposed to be based on the performance review, he gave me a zero percent increase. To say I was am disappointed in this is an understatement. Especially when his reasoning is that he wants to give others on the team more in order to raise their salaries, as I currently make more than them, supposedly. Truthfully, I don't believe anyone else's salary is my business, nor do I believe I should be penalized for something that has nothing to do with me. I had an incredible year and I feel I deserved a matching merit increase. It should be noted that this is our only opportunity per year to earn an increase. So two questions for you, Andy. If you were in my situation, what would you do? And then as a business owner, what are your thoughts on this? And would you ever do this to your top perform farmer? Thank you in advance for your insight, entrepreneurs man.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, look, I, I think that's a fair. I like, I, I like the way that that question was asked because clearly this person understands there's two sides to the equation here and they're not being bitter about it. Yeah, that's a perfect. The way that that was presented was very professional and I, I appreciate that. So where do we start here? Okay, first of all, if you really are the best performing person and they promised you a raise and they didn't give you one, that's kind of up, like, that's not, that's not indicative of.

[DJ]

You have been gaslit.

[Andy Frisella]

Maybe, maybe that's what I'm saying. That's not indicative of normal behavior in my opinion. I am a big believer that if I ask someone to go do things and they do them and exceed those expectations and rewarding them for that performance, I think most effective businesses feel that way. But there could be a couple other things that are playing into this that you may not be aware of from the business owner's side. You know, profitability could be down there. Maybe there's not enough money to actually give the raise. And maybe he doesn't want to say that to you because he doesn't want you to quit. Okay. Maybe he's telling you this excuse, which sounds absurd to me, so that you don't think that like he's just stiffing you or she's just stiffing you. And you know, I don't, I don't know why they would tell you that, because that makes no sense. Like, I'm going to reward people who are less performers than you because they're getting paid. Not enough.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, then they should perform.

[DJ]

Yeah, okay. Simple.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, it's very simple. And also your employees life decisions aren't the company's responsibility to reward them for like, a lot of people are poor managers of finance. And then they equate that to being not paid enough. No, you're paid appropriately. You spend too much fucking money.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Frisella]

What are those $300 fucking Jordans doing on your feet?

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I'm saying? So there could be a lot of different things going on here. What I would do is I would ask to have another meeting for clarification, and I would say look. And I would have no qualms about having this very direct conversation. I would say, look, I did everything you asked me to do. I have the proof. I'd have the data. Okay? And it's very important that when you go to ask for a raise that you always bring the data, all right? Because a lot of people will just bring you arbitrary shit emotions. I did this, I did that. Well, what's the proof? Yeah, where's the proof? How much did you drive revenue for Your job? How much profitability did you have? What other things did you do that were in the scope? What projects did you complete? What. What projects did you start and complete? All of these things have to be written down and tracked. Otherwise your boss or whoever's making this decision is going to be like, well, this sounds like bullshit, even if they know it's true. So it's important for you to track those things. I would sit down, I'd have the information ready. I'd say, look, I was told this. I did this with the expectation of this, and this isn't happening. And I don't think that's right. And I would see what they say, and maybe they get. You get a little more transparency on what the decision was made around. Because it does sound like the decision or the excuse that they're giving you, doesn't it? Sounds like I'm. I just. I can't make. I can't make sense of that. Why would you tell someone that you're going to pay the money that you were going to pay them that they earned to other people to get them more productive? That makes no sense. So that sounds like, if anything, give.

[DJ]

Them the money, they'll see that and, like, get more productive or they quit.

[Andy Frisella]

Absolutely.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

That's the correct move.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So I would ask for conversation, and I would be prepared to walk out of that meeting into another career. If you don't get treated or get at least an expectation, there might be a situation where the guy says, hey, look, what's the guy's name? Does he give his name?

[DJ]

Nope, no name.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, Steve. Look, Steve, I. I love you, bro, but I gotta be honest with you, man. Like, this hasn't been the best year. We're in a situation now where we really need to fucking get these other guys to perform because I don't have the profitability or the margin to pay you this extra money. You know, how do you know that the owner's even getting paid? We. You know what I'm saying? So there could be a lot of different things happening. And I could tell you there's been times in my career where we didn't have enough money to get raises. And there were people that deserved them, and I couldn't afford to give them to them. And when those situations happened, I'd have a frank, frank discussion with them, and I'd say, look, here's where I'm at, bro. And I would be very transparent, and I would say, what do you suggest that I do here? And then that becomes a Very productive conversation. Because usually if that person is really invested, like it sounds like this person is, they will get on board with. With you, the owner, to help the other people start to perform so that we get in a position to give the raise, you see? So that's what I would do. I would have a conversation. If it goes well, he's probably going to be transparent. There's probably going to be a better reason as to why they didn't give you that. If it doesn't go well, he's probably going to feed you the same line of. And you're going to have to understand that this might be an indication that no matter how hard you work or how much you perform, you're going to be capped at your earning potential in that organization, which means you have to find a new organization. Okay? So it's a tough position, but, you know, most. Let me give you the. The real way to get paid more money while we're talking about it. Here's the real way. This is the only way the fucking works, okay? You have to be so fucking valuable that the company can't afford to let you walk. Okay? That is it. Because you. You have to be so valuable that you can literally leverage the company into giving you more money. No one's going to give you more money. No one's going to bless you with riches. It's not going to happen. We are one of the few companies that I think pays people more when we start to see it automatically without having them have to ask. Now, sometimes they do have to ask because we have a lot of employees and not everybody gets the proper recognition. But in most cases, companies are not like that. They will force you to have a conversation to get the money. And how many years you've been there, doesn't matter. How many days you showed up, doesn't matter. Participation, doesn't matter. None of these things that most people think matter actually matter. Here's the truth. If you perform to a level that is undeniable and it's undeniably valuable to the company, you have the leverage, because there's not many people out here that actually operate that way. So your goal should be to outperform expectations in such a way that you could now walk into this person's office and say, hey, listen, man, you know, you guys didn't pay me and I was told that we were going to do this, and I did everything I was supposed to do. And here's the deal. Like, I know I'm the only one in here that can fucking do that. So. And I'm not trying to be a dick, but, dude, you got to pay me what I'm worth or I'm going to find another place to contribute to. And it's not, I'm not being mean, I'm not being. But I, you know, at the end of the day, dude, I've got responsibilities, you have responsibilities. Totally understand that. But I think we can both agree that there's nobody in here doing this, and whatever that is needs to be way better than everybody else.

[DJ]

I guess that's what you're saying. Like, gotta be careful. I have the data. So it doesn't just come off as ego.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right. Like, well, it does come off as ego. If you come in there without the data, it comes off as bullshit.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

Look, dude, most CEOs or people that if your manager is in charge of giving you the raise, he's probably gonna know the data, but he probably thinks you don't know the data, right? Right. So it's very important to track your own progress, track your own performance. And reality is, dude, a lot of times when you start tracking your performance, you figure out that you ain't that good. Okay? So it's a good way to audit yourself on your own performance. But yeah, dude, the ultimate goal to getting paid more as an entrepreneur is very simply exceed expectations and track what you've done and then go in there and leverage the out of it. Like, if someone comes to me for a raise and it's not, they're not that good, I'm probably not giving them to it. Yeah, like, because that's the level of, of expectation we have, bro. Like, I will pay more money for great, but I'm not paying more money for what you're supposed to do. You know, we have this problem in society where people think that if they do what they're supposed to do and they do it long enough that eventually they just get raises. And maybe that is the way in, you know, corporate America where you get a cost of living raise of one and a half percent, 2% every year. But I'm talking about career advancement raises. I'm talking 10, 20, 30, $50,000 a year difference, right? We're not talking about 2% for showing up. And I think a lot of people, including possibly this guy, because I don't know, but a lot of people think that performing status quo and doing the job is deserving of a raise. And it's just not. It's not. Okay? That's what you are paid to do. You are paid to do the job. You are paid to work hard. You are already paid to do these things. And a lot of people act like these things are extra. They'll be like, oh, I'm doing this. Yeah, no shit, bro. That's what the fucking job description says. You know what I'm saying? I show up on time, I work hard. Those are not reasons for raise. That's what you're supposed to do, okay? And by the way, I understand that other people may not do that, but you ain't, you ain't other people, okay? And regardless if other people do that or not in your company, you're probably still not going to get the raise for just being at the average level.

[DJ]

For just doing the minimum. Actually, I want to bring this up too because you know, they mentioned, you know, you, you, you, you talk a lot about the self improvement aspect, right? And it's like, you know, I remember a coach used to tell me like, you don't, you know, practice, you don't just show up to game day and like not, you know, miss your practices and think you're going to fucking perform. And when they told this person that, oh, you know, just keep doing what you're doing, there's no, you know, you have no items for improvement. I think that's bullshit. But I mean, why do you look at that like, I mean, if so, like, I find a hard time believing people are telling their employees like I'm.

[Andy Frisella]

I'm going to tell you this, dude. Here, here's what I think from the information that was sent to what I was just told, which by the way, I don't get these questions ahead of time. I don't read off a teleprompter. I don't fucking have diagrams behind the camera over there that I'm fucking drawing right off the other diagram. Like this is a real answer. I think off the data that you have relayed to me that you work in a company that is not employee focused or career driven in terms of escalating the entrepreneur slash employee career. A lot of companies will try to hold their top performers by saying shit like this. They will say, oh, you're doing a good job, just keep it up and you're obviously wanting more. And so what I would do is start to try to find a company that's looking to aggress. I would bet that if I went to that fucking company right now, I bet that the ownership is not aggressively growing the company. I bet they are in that fucking coast mode or they don't care enough to actually grow and get aggressive. If you're with an aggressive company, they will pay people who are top performers over and over and over again to continue to progress and perform. I have guys that started with me at $7 an hour that are now sea level executives doing very, very well. I have guys who own franchise do very, very well. Those promises that I made them are kept as long as they keep their promise, which is to continue to get better and better and better. And how do you get better as an entrepreneur? One, you do everything you can when you're there, and two, and this is the one people hate, you do everything you can when you're not there. Oh, I don't get paid for that. No shit. You're getting paid in the future for what you're doing now. Okay? So what you're getting paid for now is what you did in the past. So to get more, you're going to have to do more outside of the requirements to improve your skill set to become better, which that pay will cap too, if you don't continue to get better. So if I were you, I would just follow what I said. I would make a report of all the things you did. I would include all the books you read, all the things you did on the side to improve any programs you went through, any. Any courses or seminars you went to. I'd include the cost and the investment of all of these things that you're doing to get better with the metrics of how you got better. And I would say, pay me or I'm leaving. That's what I would do. But most people can't do that because they don't have the ability to go say that.

[DJ]

They can't back it up, right?

[Andy Frisella]

So people love hearing this. They're like, yeah, yeah, but remember, if you go in there with garbage, you ain't getting anything.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And so, dude, we have this situation in culture and where people believe that just doing the job and working hard and showing up is some. They get desert. They get paid a premium for that, bro. I don't know if you guys understand what's going on in the world, but most people are replaceable right now with a fucking AI bot that will do every single fucking thing that you do. Perfect. So if you intend on keeping your job, you're going to have to remove this idea of mediocrity from your brain and really step on the gas. Otherwise eventually. And remember I said this, you will end up on some sort of subsidized government income that the government pays you to stay the home. And yeah, you get to run around through the fields every day, but you're gonna be broke and you're gonna be eating, okay? Because that's where the world's going. The world is going to a place where mediocre performers will not be employed and they will be replaced with technology. And it's. We're not that far away. So I would say we're in within a year or two of that really happening. And that might be long. That might be a long shot. So if you decide that you really want to build a career and you really want to earn money and you really want to be successful, you better figure out how to be of massive value and you better do it right now. Otherwise it's going to be too late. You're going to walk into your place of business and they're going to say, all of you guys who are, you know, the bottom half of the company. Ralph. Fired.

[DJ]

Yeah, sorry.

[Andy Frisella]

That, that's what, that's what's gonna. Dude, that is going to happen at mass scale. It's. I've been warning people about this for years, okay? And we are within a 24 month window of that happening. So if you even think for a second that you would like to have more money and build a better career and do all these things that represent what the American dream is, you better fucking get good right now. Like, and I mean real good.

[DJ]

Yeah. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, let's keep this, let's keep this moving. We got question number two. You know, we were talking about some, some storms and tornadoes and before we started recording and this question had, you know, we talked about, you know, before a tornado happens, it gets real, real calm for the storm. So that's what this question centered around, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, I've always admired people who stay calm and focused under pressure, but I tend to panic and second guess myself when things go wrong. What can I do to develop more grit and keep my composure in stressful situations? Are you a calm before the storm guy?

[Andy Frisella]

What do you think?

[DJ]

There's no doubt.

[Andy Frisella]

But hold on, listen. There's two kinds of people, okay? There's the people that when goes wrong, they panic, freak the fuck out. And then there's the person when goes wrong, they, they're calm while everybody else panics. Which one do you think I am?

[DJ]

Oh, you're the latter?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, no doubt. When the shit gets real bad, I'm the calmest motherfucker in the room. You know why? Because I know that panicking is not a productive thing. You have to remain focused and you have to understand that no matter what is going on, no matter what circumstance or what tragedy or what emergency it is, there is a course of action to get yourself out of that situation. And you cannot identify and execute on that course of action when you're in a panic state. So you have to understand that while naturally there are two kinds of people, you can become the kind of person that stays calm when bad things happen. If you develop confidence in what you know to do when bad things happen. Okay, and how do you do that? Well, there's a saying in tech that says only the paranoid survive. Steve Jobs said it, Zuckerberg said it, fucking all the tech entrepreneurs. It's a Silicon Valley thing. Only the paranoid survive. Well, what that, what does that mean? What does that mean? What it means is this. Wherever you are in your life, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're just a regular human being, you, if you are floating through life and you are not anticipating anything in life and you're just free to go through life, when emergencies happen, you are not prepared, you are shocked, you look at you, you say, whoa, what the going on? And you have no contingency of how to move through it. In business, the reason only paranoid people survive in business is because they are consistently looking for the landmines that you could potentially step on. And they are always looking to avoid those before they happen. So for me, as you know, I'm chairman now, I'm not CEO, I'm not an active CEO in any of the companies, I'm a chairman. But still my job is to visionary think of where we can go. And then also, and more importantly, think about where the we could go wrong and build in fail safes along the way. And because I've been doing that my entire life in business, it translates over to my personal life where in my day to day life I'm like, okay, this, if this could happen, I would do this. If that could happen, I could do that. And it's just a framework of thinking because there's no way for you to develop a contingency all at once for everything. For sure. Like if you're just so crazy, if you're just starting today and you're like, I need to become more aware and I need to become more calm and I need to like understand, you know, that when things go wrong, I need to keep myself, you know, level. And you try to do that everything today. Yeah, it's going to drive you insane. It's just a framework of thinking that you need to adopt. And if you're a business owner or you're a CEO, I'll give you an extra thought exercise here. What is going to happen when AI takes over? Have you thought about it? Thought about what you're going to do? Have you thought about where it could be utilized, where it shouldn't be utilized, and how you're going to blend the human element and the AI element together? Have you. Have you really thought about it? Because you should. Because here's what's going to happen. All your competitors going to adopt the fuck out of it, and they're going to cut their. Their cost, and their profit margin is going to go way up, and that means they're going to have expendable capital to fight you with. So are you even thinking about it? You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

They're using chainsaws. You're still using that.

[Andy Frisella]

Are you. Are you thinking about the dynamics of social media and how people communicate and what's going on in culture and how they talk to each other and. And all the trends? Like, are you thinking about those things or are you just letting those things happen and then reacting to them? And this, ultimately, in the entrepreneurship world, dictates what people call visionary entrepreneurs from everybody else. Okay? And what I would call very rich entrepreneurs versus moderately successful entrepreneurs. The moderately successful entrepreneurs, they react, shit happens. They react, shit happens. They react. Trends in culture happen. They react. Visionary entrepreneurs are above that, and they are looking at it, and they are. They are pivoting before the thing happens. That way, when it happens, they're already ready to go. You see what I'm saying? And those people are perceived by everybody else as trendsetters, when in reality, they are just looking down the road further than everybody else. Right? One of my gifts. And I think you guys will. All you guys here will all agree with that. You guys out there may not, but I'm great at it. And I don't give a what you think. Proof's in the pudding. I can see down the road probably as far as anybody else. I can see bumps in the road. I can see corners that other people don't see. I can see pivots that people don't see. And this is why, when you guys listen to CTI and you're like, andy never misses. Well, that's because I'm utilizing a skill that I have utilized my entire life to analyze what's going on in the world. And yes, sometimes I do miss. And Sometimes I do miss in business, but because I've been doing it for so long, I'm. I'm conditioned to doing it. Okay? So one of the reasons that I can stay calm when starts to happen is I. I am used to looking at all the contingencies in every decision that I make. And I think that all of you would be much more successful if you would just start to do that in your life. You know, don't be one of the people that reacts. Be one of the people that anticipates and pivots before the reaction is necessary, and it makes you that much more of an effective operator. But, like, dude, you know, I'm not sure if that's a skill that people are born with. Quite honestly, I, I think I was gifted with it and I practice it. Yeah. But I think regular, A regular person who wasn't gifted with that, who's op. They can learn that by just changing their frame of thought from, you know, oh, this happened. So now I'm going to do this right? You know, it doesn't matter if you put the umbrella up once it starts to rain. Like, you need to have the umbrella with you before it starts to rain. You get what I'm saying? So we have to always be looking for performance indicators and culture trends and emergencies, and that could happen. And, you know, believe it or not, I have all that in my brain, and you will, too, if you start to see the world that way.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And so I would encourage you guys, if you want to stay calm during things that are not, you know, easy for people to stay calm in. You have to prepare yourself ahead of time, Right? Like, this is going to sound up what I'm about to say. But, like, when you have your first dog, right? And. And you have this dog, and your dog suddenly dies, okay? And it's horrible. It's one of the worst things ever, especially when you don't have kids. When you get another dog, you look at it a little bit differently and you start to think like, okay, well, eventually my time with this dog is going to end. And so you value the time more. And you're also more prepared when the time does end, you understand? So it's not as traumatic as it was the first time. Does that make sense?

[DJ]

100%.

[Andy Frisella]

So, so if you think about that in the, the, the bad things that can happen in business, you know, you can kind of be ready to stay calm when things happen. And another way this comes about, guys, is experience, okay? When you're like, dude, real talk, my first Five, six years in business, I was a fucking nervous wreck every single fucking day. And it was because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was just like, dude. And we were on the edge of going out of business the first 10 years. Literally, bro, like for the first 10 years in business, I mean, dude, if I had fucking $2,000 in my bank account, I was rich. No, for real, dude. I'm being serious. Like, if I had, like there was a lot of times where I was, I had like 300, you know, and I was just making it work, dude. Anything I had to do. And when you're in that position, you, you are forced to learn very quick and you're forced to deal with stress. You know, the, the way you get good at dealing with stress is by being exposed to a lot of stress. You know, it's not running from it, it's not hiding from it, it's being, it's almost like getting into a cold plunge the first time, right? You get in the cold plunge and you're like hyperventilating and freaking the out. But then after a few minutes you're, you calm the down, right? And, and someone who's done the cold plunge 100 times, you understand that that first 30 seconds is going to be hard.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And then it's going to get calm. But the first time someone does that, you can't explain that to them. So they spend a lot of time, you know, staying in that heightened anxiety, very stress like reactive state instead of having the experience to anticipate what happens, what is going to happen and how to react. And here's the good thing, you know, for those of you guys who are just starting in business, you gotta understand that like all these mistakes that you make when you're small, it's really good that you make them when you're small. You can't beat yourself up and say I, I that up, I suck. No, dude, when you first start, you're supposed to everything up and you're supposed to not repeat those mistakes. Because once you get from, you know, let's say you do a hundred grand a year or 200 grand a year in your very first business. You know, the Internet will tell you you do 100 million a year first day. But like, dude, let's be real, okay, let's just say you're not doing a lot and you're stressed and you're uncomfortable. Well, you're making mistakes, bro, and, and gaining lessons and those lessons like that that you learn when you're small. End up saving you tens of millions of dollars when you get big. So, like all the you're going through, you're going to be able to recognize that at scale.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So. So, like, see it again. Yes. And you're like, oh, yeah, I know that. Here's what I do.

[DJ]

That's a dude, right? Do that right.

[Andy Frisella]

And what happens now is, you know the younger people in the office, when something happens, they get freaked out and they come to me and I'm like, that's it.

[DJ]

Yeah, Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, do this, this, this, because I've already seen it before. And this is the value of not quitting. Right? Just because you suck in the beginning, just because you're making mistakes in the beginning does not mean you're terrible, bro. Everybody does that. I made them. I think one of the biggest blessings of me is that I made so many mistakes early and I'm smart enough to learn from them. And they happened really early in business, which allowed me to be much more successful in short time frame. So, you know, we can't look at. I mean, I'm getting off course here, but the point is, is that we can't look at failures and things that we do wrong as a negative. Especially when you're small and even when you're big and you do have a big mistake, you know, maybe it costs you $5 million. Well, when you're in a position where that's going to cost you 50, you won't make that mistake. So they're always valuable. And dude, as an entrepreneur, there's no college you can go to and get a truly entrepreneur degree where you can go out and be an effective entrepreneur. It doesn't exist. There's no course you could buy there. There's just too much that you're going to learn on the job. And you have to understand that that's part of the college of entrepreneurship. The college of entrepreneurship you don't pay tuition to. You pay it in the cost of the mistakes that you make over the course of your life. So when you look at it like that and you say, oh, well, I made a mistake, it cost me $12,000. Well, that's just $12,000 towards the tuition of your entrepreneurship PhD.

[DJ]

That was your first semester.

[Andy Frisella]

You see what I'm saying? So when you start to look at it differently like that, you don't feel as bad about your mistakes. You're like, oh, well, I just paid fucking to get my PhD again. You know what I'm saying? Payments do, because I fucked up. But ultimately, guys look to Stay calm. During times of crisis, you have to practice staying calm. It's like any other thing. And when, when stressful things happen, you have to realize that there panic doesn't help. Preparation helps knowing what to do in those situations. And that comes from experience or a framework of thinking about these things naturally because you're responsible for them in your life. And so this is how I naturally think. There's a good chance if we ever meet in person and we sit down and we have dinner or we're sitting around smoking a cigar, you're gonna see me drift out into space, my eyes will get glassy, and I'm not present in the conversation. And the reason I'm not present in the conversation is because I'm analyzing a million million things all at the same time. And usually what I'm analyzing is whatever idea we're talking about. Like, let's say you're sitting with me, dj, and you say, hey, I have an idea for this and this and this. And then I kind of like you see me stop listening. What I'm doing usually is I'm playing that idea out over the course of.

[DJ]

Yes, yes, I see it every time, all the time.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes. So. So it's a very important skill because if you, if you rehearse these things in your head, when they happen, you know what to do. And I don't think enough people do that.

[DJ]

Now, I was going to tell you this too, because I feel like this also is a piece of it. It's not only that, do they not do that, but they're not confident in their ability to actually execute if that shit happens.

[Andy Frisella]

Listen, dude, it's not just that. It's another big part of it is this. People expect to go down the path and they expect it to be. They. What they expect it to be in terms of hard is they misjudged the hard. Okay? It's a thousand times harder than what you think, and it takes a thousand times longer. And so when I say they perceive it to be easy, they perceive it to be hard, but it's actually easy. Shit. So if you have a real expectation that this is going to be the hardest fucking thing you ever did and bad things are going to happen and this could happen and that could happen and this could happen. If you say that to someone, they're going to think you're fucking paranoid and you should be, because those things do happen. And when they happen, what separates a great entrepreneur from an average one or a poor one is the great one has already seen this happen. And knows what to do ahead of time.

[DJ]

100%, man. I love it, man. Well, guys, we got one more question. We got our third and final question. Andy, question number three. Andy, I have your children's books and absolutely love it. My daughter is nine and has started making friendship bracelets. She sells them at school to make money for things that she wants to have, but I refuse to purchase them for her because I don't want her to be spoiled, and I want her to have that sense of earning it. Do you have any tips for me to continue to foster this mindset with her as she gets older? I remember you sharing that you sold light bulbs and lemonade and baseball cards. What kept that entrepreneur mindset with you as you grew up?

[Andy Frisella]

I'm confused on the question. So he's saying he doesn't want to buy what?

[DJ]

So he doesn't just want to buy.

[Andy Frisella]

Her shit that she wants because wasn't she making them?

[DJ]

Yeah, but that's why she's doing it. So she has to.

[Andy Frisella]

Wait, wait, wait. So he's saying he doesn't want to buy her, like, toys.

[DJ]

You're right. Right.

[Andy Frisella]

He wants her to earn it. Right, Got it. Not the supplies to make the bracelets.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Got it. Look, man, that's. That's an escalation of vision and goals. And you. Your job as a parent that wants to cultivate the entrepreneurial spirit and your daughter is to one, surround her by information. Does it say how old she is? Nine. Okay. Surround her by entrepreneurial data and information. Kids entrepreneur books like the ones that. That I write, those are a good place to start, but, you know, continue to do that. Like, one thing that my dad did for me was he would always, like, point out businesses. So, like, we'd be driving down the road, and he'd be like, look, there's, you know, Acme Tire, and the. The guy that owns that, he does this. And this is. He's got 50 locations, and he lives in this house, and he does that. And then we would like, talk, like, well, how. How did he get started? Well, he started here, and we would kind of, like, talk through the process. And my dad was always really good about pointing out examples of people who started very small and had become very successful. And what that did was that instilled a belief in me that I could do that, too.

[DJ]

That's not what most parents do.

[Andy Frisella]

No, I know. They do the opposite, bro. They say, oh, that guy got lucky, that they don't even understand what the they're doing. They don't Understand that when you tell your kid or you come home because you're in a bad mood for your job and you, your boss, you are that kid's psychology up for their whole entire life, okay? I don't care if you got your ass chewed out by the boss at work and you're mad at him today. You shouldn't go home and say that in front of your kids, because your kids are then going to adopt a mentality that, you know, oh, man, everybody who's rich is an then they're not going to even pursue the idea, and they're going to spend their whole life watching cartoons and living off your. And never actually developing. So as a parent now, I don't have kids, but I've raised a lot of other people's kids. And the one thing that I have always been made sure that they understand is that they are very capable to do anything if they're willing to pay the price to do it. And that was something that I was taught. And. And I don't say lucky very often, but I got real lucky. I was taught that as a kid. And so if you want to teach your daughter that, I would recommend letting her see it, touch it, make it real. This could mean, like, what's she into? What does she like? Does she like cars? I liked cars. So, you know what we did? We would go to the car dealerships and see the cars. All right? And it wasn't like, you know, like we would just go look at them.

[DJ]

Super important.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Like, you have, oh, you want to live in a big house? Let's go look at some houses. You know, to live in that house, you got to earn this much money. How are you gonna earn that much money? Right?

[DJ]

So a lot of friendship braces.

[Andy Frisella]

Yes. Well, that's what I'm saying. So. But. But, dude, so you ask. What, you ask how it worked for me? Well, how it worked for me was I was exposed to all these things, and that drove my entrepreneurial curiosity about how could I put myself in a position to live that life. And, you know, dude, I. I mean, through my high school career, dude, I tried all kinds of different ways to make money. Most of them failed, you know, and we don't talk about that enough. Everybody thinks that, you know, starting the supplement business was the first thing I ever did. No, dude, I did a whole bunch of other shit. Didn't work. So, you know, continuous exposure, the right information, making it real encouragement in the fact that she can do it just like other people have done it, and showing her Examples and then showing her the result and making her comprehend, like, you know, hey, now you're selling 15 friendship bracelets for a dollar each. That's $15. Now that house is. Is a million dollars.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

So how many friendship bracelets do you have to sell to get to that? Well, I gotta sell a million. Well, how are you gonna sell a million? How do you do? Can you sell a million to people directly? Well, no. So how will we do that? And then, you know, play a little game of, you know, how would we scale the business on paper? You know what I'm saying? Sometimes those turn into real businesses. There's time, there's kids, you know, out the outliers. You know, people will talk about the. The YouTuber kids that make millions of dollars. But like, dude, there's plenty of kids that came up with really good ideas as very young kids, because kids are not bound by the restraints of society yet. They're very creative. And there's a lot of kids, you know, 10, 11, 12 years old, came up with an amazing idea and turned it into a multimillion dollar company. So, you know, it's just the environment, bro. It's exposure. It's connecting the dots for them. It's making them understand it, making them listen to productive information, read productive information, you know, and helping them create that entrepreneurial curiosity that eventually leads to a. A breakthrough.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And something will. The math will work on something. Know what I mean? And 100%. And then. And then it. They work. It works out.

[DJ]

Do you think that, you know, now, I know we talk about a lot of this on the CTI episodes, but not to get too deep in it, but I mean, do you think that's what we need right now, is we need to be fostering more young?

[Andy Frisella]

Of course.

[DJ]

Entrepreneurship.

[Andy Frisella]

Of course. Look, man, America is the greatest country in the world, but we missed a generation and a half of people telling them the truth. Okay? A lot of people for 15 years were told everybody gets a trophy. You know, it doesn't matter as long as you try hard. No, it does matter. Are you producing results or are you just trying hard? It does matter if you finish first or 18th. Those things matter in real life. So we have been in a number of other things, but we have been. Our children and generations have been lied to by idealistic, you know, at minimum, idealistic teachers, at maximum, intentionally handicapped, which is what I believe to up society over here. So, yes, it's extremely important. I think it's the most important thing we can do. And I think that ties right into that personal excellence, the ultimate rebellion. Because, dude, your kids are watching you, bro. They are paying attention to you. They will become exactly who the you are. You don't understand that yet. I am, for better or worse, pretty much a carbon copy of my fucking dad. Okay, real talk, all right, you, your kids will become who the fuck you are. And however you want these kids to be, you better be it right now. And that's just the truth. So if you teach them all the. That you were taught and you look at where you are in life and you realize that you weren't taught the right, you have an opportunity to break that cycle by improving yourself by living at a higher standard, by getting your shit together and showing them what the fuck it actually takes to win. So, yeah, to answer your question, I think it's the fucking most important thing, which is why I work so hard to try and get through to the young people and why I'm coming back to the MF CEO project. Because we have to fix how we think and act and behave as citizens and. And not just citizens of here, but citizens of. Of the earth. Like, everything comes from us, man. Everything comes from the example that we set. And if we're not setting the right example, then your kids will be just like you, dude. Like, whether you set the right example or not, if you set the wrong example, they're going to end up just like you. They're going to think like you, they're going to talk like you, they're going to have the same biases as you. And if you don't like those things about yourself, you're going to have to use some discipline to become something different so that they become something different. And, dude, it's a parent's responsibility to put their. I think the definition of a great parent is a parent who puts their children intellectually in a position to do much better than they did. And a lot of parents don't do that. A lot of parents let their ego and their own failures and their own ways of thinking cloud the reality that they are a pretty shitty example for their kids. And they say, well, that's just what we are. And then they tell their kids that, and then they're disappointed when their kids turn out to be shit bums. Okay? So we have to have honest conversations about what we are. What example are we setting? What do I not like about my situation and what do I wish was different? And how do I change it so that they will not be like me? And that's a hard thing, dude. That doesn't feel good. That doesn't feel good to say, man. I fucked up my. But, dude, your ultimate legacy on this earth is going to be what those fucking kids do. So you. You haven't even failed yet, bro. You could totally change everything just by taking some responsibility for yourself in the example that you set. And so when you ask me, is that important, there's nothing more important.

[DJ]

I love it, man. I love it. Well, guys. Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday, man.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. All right, guys, we'll see you tomorrow. Don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank row.

[DJ]

Can'T fold just a no head shot case Close.