874. Andy & DJ CTI: Mike Waltz To Be U.N. Ambassador, Pakistan Claims India Will Strike Them Within 36 Hours & Michelle Obama Blasts Trump's Immigration Crackdown

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Episode 874

Release Date: May 2, 2025

Hosts:

• Andy Frisella
• DJ CTI (Cruise the Internet)
• Guest: "Michelle Obama" (Note: The interactions suggest this may be a co-host or character rather than the former First Lady.)

---

1. Introduction and Show Format [00:02 - 06:16]

Andy Frisella kicks off the episode with his signature energy, transitioning from a rap-style introduction into a discussion with DJ CTI. The hosts outline the show's format, emphasizing their mission to address trending and controversial topics without the interruptions of advertisements.

Key Points:

• Show Purpose: To discuss, debate, and laugh through hot-button issues, promoting realism over societal delusions.
• Format: Topics are presented on-screen, discussed for authenticity, and solutions are explored by "the people."

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [00:16]: "Michelle Obama: What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists."
• Michelle Obama [01:27]: "We're not gonna fill your ears with ads for, you know, half the show. And you do us a solid and share the show."

---

2. Segment 1: Mike Waltz Nomination and Media Scrutiny [06:17 - 10:26]

The hosts delve into a recent political headline concerning Mike Waltz's appointment as the United States Ambassador to the United Nations, debunking media rumors about his firing as National Security Advisor.

Key Points:

• Announcement: Trump nominates Mike Waltz as U.N. Ambassador, addressing misleading media reports.
• Media Critique: Hosts criticize the media for spreading unverified information, likening it to false journalism practices seen in previous incidents involving high-profile figures like Elon Musk.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [08:34]: "What is that? I was just thinking when you were reading that, I'm like, I guess we can say anything we want as long as we say sources."
• Michelle Obama [09:23]: "That's oust, like, the smartest fucking dude in the world."

---

3. Segment 2: Judicial Decisions and Mental Health Excuses [10:27 - 29:08]

The discussion shifts to controversial judicial decisions, particularly focusing on cases where defendants leverage mental health issues to avoid accountability. The hosts express frustration over perceived leniency in the judicial system.

Key Points:

• Case Highlight: Judge Jessica Hedges releases Owen McIntyre, a suspect in a Missouri Tesla firebombing, citing his lack of criminal record and mental health needs.
• Critique of System: Hosts argue that mental health is being exploited as a "virtue signal," undermining genuine cases and eroding accountability.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Obama [12:50]: "There are all these women who are fucking 30 years old who are saying, oh, I just got diagnosed with autism. That's what's wrong with me."
• Andy [15:10]: "This is a dangerous precedent."

---

4. Segment 3: India-Pakistan Tensions Over Recent Attacks [39:17 - 58:14]

A significant portion of the episode covers escalating tensions between India and Pakistan following a terrorist attack in Kashmir. The hosts analyze Pakistan's claims of impending military action by India and the broader geopolitical implications.

Key Points:

• Recent Events: A terrorist attack in Kashmir leads to heightened tensions, with Pakistan accusing India of planning a military strike within 36 hours.
• Media Propaganda: Both nations release inflammatory propaganda videos, escalating fears and hostilities.
• Cultural Commentary: Hosts discuss the underlying religious and cultural tensions fueling the conflict, highlighting the absurdity of wars over religious dietary practices.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [40:35]: "Pakistan's in the bag. Oh, wow. Great."
• Michelle Obama [47:02]: "I like this. See that? Just that dance bs, bro."
• Andy [50:55]: "That's some good right there. See that? Just that dance bs, bro."

---

5. Segment 4: Interaction with Listeners and Social Media [29:19 - 38:46]

The hosts engage with their audience by discussing comments and interactions from social media. They reflect on Andy’s accidental return to Instagram and the community's positive feedback, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and shared experiences.

Key Points:

• Social Media Presence: Andy inadvertently posts on Instagram after years of inactivity, receiving overwhelming support from long-time followers.
• Community Building: Positive interactions inspire the hosts, reinforcing their commitment to fostering a genuine and supportive community.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Obama [32:08]: "We are comedians, which means we can say fucking anything."
• Andy [34:24]: "People loved it."

---

6. Segment 5: German Finger Wrestling Tradition [86:30 - 95:45]

The episode takes a lighter turn as the hosts explore Germany’s unique traditional sport of finger wrestling. They describe the cultural significance, the competitive scene, and share personal anecdotes related to the sport.

Key Points:

• Sport Overview: Finger wrestling, known as "Finger Hocking," is a traditional German sport with a rich history, involving short leather pants and embroidered suspenders.
• Cultural Insight: The sport originated as a dispute-settling mechanism and has evolved into a highly organized competition with strict rules.
• Personal Stories: Michelle shares a humorous story about a bicycle mishap in Munich, highlighting the camaraderie and lively culture of German beer gardens.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [86:47]: "Men in short leather pants and embroidered suspenders risk dislocating digits..."
• Michelle Obama [92:25]: "That's my famous story from Munich. It's a great city, though."

---

7. Segment 6: Critique of Michelle Obama’s Comments on Immigration [58:14 - 84:46]

In a heated exchange, the hosts vehemently critique Michelle Obama’s comments on Donald Trump’s immigration policies. They accuse her of perpetuating racial divisions and undermining personal accountability.

Key Points:

• Immigration Policies: Michelle Obama criticizes Trump's aggressive immigration crackdown, claiming it instills fear in people of color.
• Racial Division: Hosts argue that such rhetoric fosters unnecessary racial tensions and excuses criminal behavior through fabricated mental health issues.
• Accountability Issues: Emphasis on the need for personal responsibility and the detrimental impact of "victim culture" on societal cohesion.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Obama [59:14]: "I just really appreciated all the love, dude. Real talk. It was awesome."
• Andy [60:22]: "You would think. You just leave."
• Michelle Obama [61:52]: "Fuck off. I'm... I'm so tired of their fucking faces and their smugness."

---

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts [95:35 - End]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate their disdain for perceived hypocrisy and anti-accountability attitudes in public figures. They encourage listeners to share their thoughts and continue fostering an honest discourse.

Key Points:

• Final Segment: Discussion on identity politics and the impact of public figures' rhetoric on societal divisions.
• Call to Action: Encouragement for listeners to engage with the show by sharing comments and participating in the conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy [95:35]: "All right, cool. Finger blasting."
• Michelle Obama [95:45]: "Share the show."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Media Skepticism: The hosts consistently challenge mainstream media narratives, advocating for independent verification of information.
• Judicial Accountability: A strong emphasis on personal responsibility and skepticism towards the judicial system's handling of mental health excuses.
• Geopolitical Awareness: In-depth discussion on India-Pakistan relations, highlighting the complexity and cultural underpinnings of international conflicts.
• Community Engagement: Active interaction with listeners, emphasizing the importance of authentic connections and shared experiences.
• Cultural Exploration: Light-hearted exploration of unique global traditions, fostering cultural appreciation alongside serious discussions.
• Racial and Social Commentary: A contentious critique of racial discourse and public figures' roles in perpetuating societal divides.

---

Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript. The interactions, particularly those involving "Michelle Obama," appear exaggerated and do not reflect actual statements or sentiments of the former First Lady.

Transcript

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold, bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.

[Michelle Obama]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Andy and DJ Cruise the Internet. Okay. I guess that's what the new deal is now.

[Andy]

Madot made me do it.

[Michelle Obama]

Did he? Okay, well, that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna. That's what CTI stands for. Cruise the Internet. All right? We're gonna put topics on the screen. We're gonna speculate on what's going on. We're gonna talk about what's true and what's not true. And then we're gonna talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Just get into it.

[Andy]

Yep.

[Michelle Obama]

What's up?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Hey.

[Andy]

Yep. Because technically it'd be like ctmfi, you know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, so we're being grammatically correct.

[Andy]

Listen, I'm trying. Oh, all right.

[Michelle Obama]

Got it.

[Andy]

I read the book, you know what I'm saying, that you gave me how.

[Michelle Obama]

To read, you know, how do you read a book on how to read?

[Andy]

Yep. So I'm trying, man.

[Michelle Obama]

That is kind of a weird thing to sell, right? Like a book on how to read.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, motherfucker. Still buy it?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Anyway, got the fee. You got the fee?

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do have a fee. The fee is very simple. We make you a deal, all right? We're not gonna fill your ears with ads for, you know, half the show. And you do us a solid and share the show. That's how it works.

[Andy]

Simple.

[Michelle Obama]

So don't be a hoe.

[Andy]

Share the show.

[Michelle Obama]

All right.

[Andy]

Very, very simple, man. We got a jam packed show show today.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, we do.

[Andy]

Jam packed. Yep. We got a bunch of different stuff. We got an old school segment coming back. We got Andy Frisella back on the Internet.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I forgot.

[Andy]

We got. We got. Listen, this is a jam packed episode here for. For a special Friday release, man. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And so we got plenty of time. We'll get there. You know what I'm saying? But let's. Let's just get it going, man.

[Michelle Obama]

Cool.

[Andy]

Let's get it going. I think we should start this episode off with an OG segment. We've done it before people liked it. They. It's 90 seconds of liberal insanity.

[Michelle Obama]

Sounds good to me.

[Andy]

Here we go. We love America.

[Michelle Obama]

We love America. The red, white and blue America is everyone's home Even misses Tina's home.

[Andy]

Break it down, Hannah.

[Michelle Obama]

Tina. Tina your sexy ass.

[Andy]

Hahaha. White palettes. Even more than that. Everyone is beautiful in the red, white and blue country America, oh, America America is home.

[Michelle Obama]

Break it down, Becca.

[Andy]

America is beautiful America is home where.

[Michelle Obama]

We stand where we are all gorgeous.

[Andy]

In our home not only we but.

[Michelle Obama]

It'S beautiful in the red, white and.

[Andy]

Blue America America is home.

[Michelle Obama]

That's not real.

[Andy]

Oh, that is. That is is real. That is as real as American Pie.

[Michelle Obama]

That's AI.

[Andy]

No, I don't think AI could do that.

[Michelle Obama]

I don't think it would do that. It's violating terms and conditions for sure, bro. I'm sorry, sir. You're insane.

[Andy]

Yeah, no, I can't do it. Oh, man.

[Michelle Obama]

That's where we are, huh?

[Andy]

That is. That's the state of the union, man. 90 seconds.

[Michelle Obama]

Did you notice how these. How these people are now trying to pretend as if they're Patriots?

[Andy]

They love America, don't they? Yeah, like, yeah, that's weird.

[Michelle Obama]

Like last year they were burning the flag and, and then kneeling at football games, right? And now all of a sudden, they're the Patriots.

[Andy]

They love it.

[Michelle Obama]

And everybody else is the traitors. Got it.

[Andy]

That is weird.

[Michelle Obama]

It is weird. That sit in we talked about the other day, I actually got a chance to see it after we talked about on the show the sit in.

[Andy]

Which one?

[Michelle Obama]

That sit in that they tried to do last weekend. There was like nine people that showed.

[Andy]

Up on the steps. Yeah, yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, bro, bro. That Jeffries dude was talking about how, you know, he was using General Grant's quote, You know, there. There are but two parties, you know, traitors and Patriots and like. Bro, what the you talking about? You're the traders. Like you always have been. You guys are burning flags.

[Andy]

Last year, like three days ago.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, they're burning the cities down like now. Like, what do you. What's going on here?

[Andy]

It's weird. Super weird. It's weird, man. I. I don't. I don't know.

[Michelle Obama]

Is this like a marketing technique? Like you're trying to like project yourself to be like. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like what. What is going on?

[Andy]

They couldn't recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

[Michelle Obama]

I know.

[Andy]

They can't recite it. Can't recite.

[Michelle Obama]

Kamal Harris couldn't do it.

[Andy]

She couldn't do it like, like. Yeah, it is weird, man. It is weird. I don't know. I don't know what that is.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, well, it's painful.

[Andy]

It is definitely painful to see, but.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, I can appreciate their breakdowns.

[Andy]

The bro.

[Michelle Obama]

That's how white people get bad name, bro. We should, we shouldn't even allow people. That should be the. They censor off the Internet now.

[Andy]

I will say this. Some of you guys can dance like, some of you guys got it. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's the rhythm in there, you know what I'm saying? Like, I give credit, you know what I'm saying? To some. Yeah, but most, most, you shouldn't. You just shouldn't try it.

[Michelle Obama]

I agree.

[Andy]

And these, these, they fall into that. Yeah, yeah. 90 seconds of liberal insanity, guys.

[Michelle Obama]

There you go.

[Andy]

Let us know what you think down in the comments, man. With that being said, let's get into our cruise. We got a lot of stuff to cover, man. It's. We're gonna be, it's. This is a global episode, okay? We got a lot of stuff to cover, guys. If you want to see these articles, pictures, links, videos, go to andy4seller.com. You guys can check them all out there. And I'm also going to try to behave myself this episode, okay? No, no, no, no racism, okay?

[Michelle Obama]

That means extra racism.

[Andy]

I'm gonna behave myself this episode of Promise, all right? Or at least for the first segment, headline number one. Let's dive into it. We gotta debunk some myths that were going around. This was a wild headline. For some reason, there was a lot of talks in the White House today. Mike Walsh Waltz was getting fired from the National Security Advisor position. And I mean, dude, it was. Everybody was covering it. Fox News, cnn, right? Like Trump's National Security Advisor Mike Waltz expected the depart. Administration sources say NBC jumped on the bandwagon and they were all trying to link this, that signal chat leak bullshit that was going on, but everybody was covering it. Just a quick debunk because, you know, it only took a couple of hours of, you know, everybody, you know, going crazy and lo their minds about this that Trump finally cleared the air with a truth. He posted this out around 1:00 today saying, quote, I am pleased to announce that I will be nominating Mike Waltz to be the next United States Ambassador to the United nations. From assignment Uniform on the Battlefield in Congress. And as my National Security Advisor, Mike Waltz has worked hard to put our nation's interests first. I know he will do the same in his new Role in the interim Secretary of State. Marco Rubio will serve as National Security Advisor while continuing his strong leadership at the State Department. Together, we will continue to fight tirelessly to make America and the world safe again. Thank you for your attention to this matter. But it just goes into one of those things, man, of like, all these people that, like, the media, I guess, itself, they keep, like. I guess they feel like they're protected because all they have to do is just say sources without.

[Michelle Obama]

Actually, I was just thinking that, like, what is that? I was just thinking when you were reading that, I'm like, I guess we can say anything we want as long as we say sources.

[Andy]

Yeah. Right.

[Michelle Obama]

Or insiders.

[Andy]

Right. Like. And you're safe.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You know, it's. Call it fucking journalism.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You know?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

What is that?

[Michelle Obama]

It's a way for them to lie and propagate without having to be responsible for it.

[Andy]

Like, do.

[Michelle Obama]

They can't reveal my sources.

[Andy]

Right, right. I have to protect my sources.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

You mean you made it up?

[Andy]

Well, I mean, because they got called out. I want to say it was Wall Street Journal. They got called out because they did the same exact thing with Tesla and Elon Musk, saying, like, oh, Tesla's looking for new, you know, board of directors and, you know, new. New position. They're gonna be ousting Elon. And, like, both of them. The company and Elon both came out like, that's full of shit.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. That's oust, like, the smartest fucking dude in the world. Yeah.

[Andy]

I mean, like, makes sense. Makes perfect fucking sense. But I don't know what, like, dude, that's so annoying to see. I know you guys see it, but it's like, that's not journalism. No, it's not fucking.

[Michelle Obama]

It's. Dude, it's propaganda. It's intentional, disruptive propaganda.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

And that. This is what they do. They listen. You don't have to have the facts right anymore to publish it, which is totally wrong. You know, like, how many lives do they destroy by doing this, dude?

[Andy]

Well, Trump, I tried to find a video. There was a video going around of, like, a interview that Trump did with abc, I think, and they got a question like, oh, but there's no, like, there's no investigations and no referrals. Like, Trump's like, how do you know that? Oh, I mean, you know, like, how do you. Well, how do you know that? Like, you're not. You wouldn't even. You're not even, like, legally supposed to know that. Like, how would you know that? There's not. Or there is. And Trump called him out on it, like. But it's just annoying. It's. Whatever. Let's talk it, let's talk about, let's transition this a little bit to some, some judges. That's going to be headline one. We got to talk about some judges that, that deserve to be in prison.

[Michelle Obama]

So hold on. So was this tweet today?

[Andy]

Yeah, this was today. This was today. So they, they did this whole, like, rile up. Like it was a whole media.

[Michelle Obama]

So they made it seem like he was being fired when.

[Andy]

For the signal. Correct.

[Michelle Obama]

For in reality he was being promoted. Promoted to it.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, many different. It's the highest post of the country. I mean, as far as ambassadors go, for sure. Just dumb shit, you know, dumb dispelling myths, man. Um, but yeah, let's, let's transition this a little bit. I want to talk about some judges because I got a couple of headlines here that are, are. They're, they're wild, man. They're wild. Um, so this first one here, Judge orders suspect behind firebombing of Missouri Tesla released from federal custody. Um, let's dive into this a little bit. U.S. magistrate Judge Jessica Hedges agreed that Owen McIntyre, who is 19, a student at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, should be released after McIntyre's lawyers argued he be released, noting that, quote, he has no criminal record and that he has, quote, strong ties to his community in Missouri, the same community he tried to burn down. McIntyre's lawyers also argued that he be released, noting his, quote, medical and mental health needs. McIntyre has reportedly been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, um, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or adhd, depression and gender dysphoria, according to court records. Let's check this clip out. Bria and John. The government wanted Owen McIntyre to spend the time before trial behind bars, but the judge in Boston sided with the defense in this case, which cited multiple medical issues facing the 19 year old, including including autism spectrum disorder, gender dysphoria and ADHD. McIntyre's attorney argued the teen should be released, citing serious and ongoing medical needs and treatments that could not or would not be provided while in federal detention. The defense filing says McIntyre is being treated for depression and since March has been receiving gender affirming care. That care would likely be interrupted or terminated in federal custody. Well, don't look like he's getting treated outside of fucking jail.

[Michelle Obama]

So, so, so now we can blow shit up and we could say we're depressed and have autism, which has become a virtue signal like you go on TikTok right now, dude, there's all these. It's a new thing, man. There's all these women who are fucking 30 years old who are saying, oh, I just got diagnosed with autism. I never knew it. That's what's wrong with me. And then they're making videos of them doing stupid ass shit pretending that they have autism, which is insulting to people who actually have it or deal with family members who actually have it. It's insane. So we're going to virtue signal autism. Like it's like the new fucking thing.

[Andy]

They all want to have disabilities, bro.

[Michelle Obama]

They all want to be in a protected class because they can't be in a protected class anymore with this trans shit or whatever else. They're. They're choosing to act like they're. They have autism. And so regardless of all that, whether you have autism or not, or depression or not, or any of this other shit that excuses you from committing violent fucking crime offenses. Yeah, bro, get the fuck out of here. This is bullshit. So basically, any of us that get caught doing anything, all we have to say is that we're retarded. I was about to say that I didn't know because I'm an idiot.

[Andy]

Wait, wait. Grenade.

[Michelle Obama]

Boom. Wait, wait.

[Andy]

I'm retarded.

[Michelle Obama]

Bro. What the are we talking about here?

[Andy]

Oh, wait, I do have. Did you hear there's another word that came back.

[Michelle Obama]

No.

[Andy]

Dyke.

[Michelle Obama]

I didn't know that went away.

[Andy]

Yeah, it went away for a little bit. It was like a little hermit for a minute.

[Michelle Obama]

But I didn't know that was considered a. An offensive term. I thought it was what it was. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Andy]

It's back. So. Yeah, I'm sorry. Don't lock me up.

[Michelle Obama]

It never went anywhere but like, dude, and. And you know, that's not. Okay. Okay, so clearly if we have people with mental disabilities or depression or anxiety, so. So they're dangerous. So should we remove all of those people from the fucking. Should we put them all into mental institutions because they're going to do violent things like we're setting. We're.

[Andy]

It's a dangerous precedent.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, but it doesn't matter because nothing. Nobody's ever held accountable unless it's like the same, you know, unless it's convenient for the political agenda. The rule of law has been so watered down and bet so hard to. To judges personal agendas that the only people that are held accountable are people that don't align with them politically or socially. And so like, you know, I don't know. This Is. This is absurd. That person should be in jail. And if they have autism and they have all these things, I think that's a case for them, if they're going to be violent, to actually be detained because they're clearly a threat to the people around them.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's not like they were getting the help outside. They're blowing shit up so they can f. Lock them up. Like, yeah, it's crazy to me. It's crazy to me, but, like, I'm.

[Michelle Obama]

Just sick of this, dude. Like, I am sick of the. I'm. I'm. Here's what I'm sick of in society. I'm sick of people making excuses, pretending like they have medical issues that are, you know, made up. All right? I'm not saying depression's made up. I'm not saying autism is made up. I'm saying people make them up to get out of shit. And they say, I have this, so I'm not accountable for that. Well, that's not okay. And, dude, we have this situation society where everybody can get away with anything as long as they say mental health. My mental health was suffering, so. And they almost, like, leverage it against you. Like, oh, I got fired because my. My employer didn't understand I was dealing with mental health. Well, you're hired to do a job and you can't do it. That's it. I don't. Your mental health does not play into reality. But apparently it does.

[Andy]

Or at least they're trying to make it.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, I don't. I don't do my. I couldn't do my job because I'm struggling with mental health. Well, fuck, dude, I don't know what to tell you. Grow the fuck up. Well, that's what I had to do. That's what everybody else had to do.

[Andy]

That's the other piece of it, Eddie. Like, the reason. And I firm. I truly, genuinely, firmly believe this in my being that, like, a lot of the stuff we're seeing, man, like, even, like, you take depression, right? Like, I know it's a real thing, but I think when you start pulling that shit back, it's because people aren't doing anything.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, of course they don't have a purpose. They're not achieving anything. They're not doing anything. They're bored. They sit in front of their tv, they game, they. They eat shitty food.

[Andy]

Dude, of course you're going to have.

[Michelle Obama]

Some fucking problems when you make your life uber convenient and remove the purpose and remove the work and remove everything. That gives you self worth and self value. You are naturally going to feel irrelevant and you are going to feel depressed and you are going to feel that way because you know that you are not doing exactly what you should be doing. And this is no secret. Humans need purpose. And when we take this, this is the danger of technology. All right? We are trying to create, and we mean society. It's really. They, okay, they're creating a society that is uber convenient. Okay? I have instant food, I have instant entertainment. I now I'm going to have universal basic income because AI can do everything for me. So basically these people should just sit at home and do nothing. Like what the are they going to do? Well, they're going to sit at home, they're going to play video games, they're going to live in this virtual world, none of which are what we as humans are designed to do. And they wonder why they feel like shit, you know, like, and dude. But regardless, that does not excuse someone from committing crimes, you know? Oh, I, I plead insanity. I murdered an entire family. Well, that doesn't matter. You still murdered an entire family. You're going to fucking jail. Like, that's how this should be. We need to stop sympathizing with people for whatever happened to them in the past or whatever trauma they had or whatever. It's fucking bullshit, bro. Like, we have all these therapists and all these victim culture people out here selling the idea of mental health and trauma and healing as if it's a permanent stop, right? As if you're supposed to be healing your entire life, bro. Healing is a temporary thing that other. In other words, you know what it's called? Get the fuck over it. Right? Whatever you got to do to feel better so that you can move forward. It's not a place for you to stop your life and, and, and dwell, which is what a lot of these people do. And a lot of these therapists convince these people that they're perpetually broken and they create a cycle of brokenness for these people so that they can make a fucking profit. Like, if your monetary income depended on people being sick, what motivation do you have to actually fucking heal them? You know what I'm saying? Right? This is all bullshit. And then we have, we have society excusing these people for the things that they do. Okay, well, I know what I could say now. If I ever get in trouble, you.

[Andy]

Know, I swear I'm saying it.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Next time I get pulled over for speed.

[Michelle Obama]

Sorry, man, I'm retarded. I, I don't Know what to tell you. You can't give me a ticket.

[Andy]

Yeah. Right.

[Michelle Obama]

Otherwise you're a bigot.

[Andy]

Yeah, right. You're a retardist.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, that's right. You hate retarded people. You hate. Can't give me a ticket. I'm just saying, man.

[Andy]

Oh, man, what a time to be alive, man. What a time to be alive. Another thing that will also get you off.

[Michelle Obama]

What? Tell me to fucking lie.

[Andy]

No, no lie. No lie. Another. But another thing.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

That can get you off of being held accountable is. Is not being a US citizen at all. Not even supposed to be here. All right? And you committing bullshit.

[Michelle Obama]

So who are we holding accountable?

[Andy]

Yeah. Literally no white people.

[Michelle Obama]

That's right.

[Andy]

White people. Yep. For the raisins and potato salad. Travis County Judge.

[Michelle Obama]

That's a fair argument. That's a fair argument. That's a fair argument. I think. I think that deserves some real punishment.

[Andy]

Just saying. Travis County Judge slashes bond from $1.2 million to $7,000 for foreign trucker who killed five including a baby in fiery Austin crash Dude, this is. This is insane, man.

[Michelle Obama]

Bro, it's like that guy, that guy, that guy ran over police officer here in St. Louis.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

That was illegal. And he was drunk.

[Andy]

Got off, get off, you know, So I mean. Yeah, you either say you're retarded or just say you're not from here and don't speak English. Like. And you're good. You're good, man. Let's dive into this a little bit because this, this is. So this actually happened a while ago of when this actually like initially happened. So. A Travis county judge on Tuesday slashed the bond for Solomon Wakalali, a foreign national and 18 wheel drive 18 wheeler driver from 1.2 million down to a jaw, dropping $7,000 despite his role in a tragic crash that left five people dead, including a child and a baby. The deadly pile up occurred last month on Interstate 35 in North Austin involving 17 vehicles and 17 people, resulting in a fiery devastation and multiple injuries. Victims and their families are now pursuing more than $150 million in damages. But for the Travis county judicial system, the perpetrator gets a wrist slap and a ticket to walk free under laughable conditions. So Wakanda Arara, who was initially charged with five counts of intoxication and manslaughter on two counts of intoxication assault, allegedly failed a field sobriety test.

[Michelle Obama]

What's the difference between intoxication and intoxication? Is there a difference?

[Andy]

I don't know.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, I mean, you said Intoxification.

[Andy]

I may have read it wrong, and.

[Michelle Obama]

Then you said intoxication. I just didn't know if there's a difference.

[Andy]

Oh, I think. I don't think intoxication is a word.

[Michelle Obama]

That's the joke. Oh, yeah, I was just didn't know. I'm glad I know now, though.

[Andy]

Listen, I have no problem being held accountable, all right? I'm one of the few.

[Michelle Obama]

That's your white hat.

[Andy]

You know, most people got like. It's like, you know, you got God and devil on the shoulders. Mine's just like, white dj, black DJ going back and forth. You know what I'm saying? Steal it. No, just say borrow. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's my life, man. That's my life. That's my life.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, man. It's a constant battle, isn't it?

[Andy]

Dude, listen, it's a hard. It's hard, man.

[Michelle Obama]

See, mine's like, you know, mayonnaise or racist and potato salad.

[Andy]

You know, put old bay in there. Too much pepper. You know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

It's dance and don't dance. Oh, dude.

[Andy]

Oh, man. Yep. Yeah, but he failed his body test. He failed to do it, I believe, officers citing classic symptoms of central nervous system depressant use. Bloodshot eyes, mumbled speech, and swaying. However, subsequent testing revealed no drugs or alcohol in his bloodstream. So it might have just been low iq. Is what what it sounds like. Then the intoxication charges are stemming from what prosecutors are arguing is sleeplessness. So. Is what they claim. They also claim antidepressants might be to blame. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. But this is his condition, his bond agreement now, so. $7,000.

[Michelle Obama]

Dude, what are we doing?

[Andy]

You're.

[Michelle Obama]

What are we doing? So we can just say whatever we want? Oh, it's because of this. Oh, it's because my dad spanked me when I was fucking three.

[Andy]

Because my dad didn't.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, well, you know, it's because I was on antidepressants.

[Andy]

It's because I cut my dick off.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, because I. I had an energy drink five hours ago. Like, what the fuck? Can we not, you know, like. What? So we just blame these things on anything now?

[Andy]

Yep.

[Michelle Obama]

This is insane.

[Andy]

It's wild, bro. It's wild.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, dude, you know, I'm sorry I wrecked the car. I'm on antidepressants. Who's that guy?

[Andy]

That's the Wakanda guy.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, shocking.

[Andy]

Yeah, man. Dude, it's sick, man. It's sick, dude.

[Michelle Obama]

I'M just tired of this lack of personal responsibility and accountability based upon these stories that people tell everyone. Like, I act like an asshole. Oh, sorry. I'm bipolar, you know, I. I wrecked my car. Oh, man. It's antidepressants. I was having a bad day. Like, there's no accountability now. People get to make up anything they want to escape accountability. It's fucking insane. Oh, I firebombed a Tesla. Oh, it's because I have gender dysmorphia. I didn't think that you had gender dysmorphia. I thought you were a woman. What the fuck is it? You know what I'm saying? I thought you knew. I thought you knew since you were born that you were a woman on the inside. I didn't know you had confusion about it. Yeah, right. So what is it now?

[Andy]

We're at least we're finally admitting that.

[Michelle Obama]

No, dude, it's the first women in space. Oh, really? What's a woman? Oh, well, like, dude, I'm just tired of the convenient application of whatever anyone feels like to push any narrative and escape any accountability. It's absurd. And it only works for protected classes. It does not work for anyone who is not in a protected class. Like, which is me, you know, like, dude, real talk, like, if I did that, what would happen to me? If I did either one of those things, what would be. Well, it'd be all over the fucking news.

[Andy]

White nationalists.

[Michelle Obama]

That's right. Andy Frisella fucking kills 75 people when it's none. Right? It'll be totally a lie, like, and it'll be based on sources, you know, like, dude, it's insane. Yeah, dude, I'm just gonna claim gender dysmorphia now.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Anything that happens to me. Sorry, dude, I'm confused.

[Andy]

Yeah, it was not you who did it.

[Z]

It was Andrea.

[Michelle Obama]

That's right, it was.

[Andy]

Did you say that's white?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, I'm white and intoxicated.

[Andy]

That's what it is. There we go. Yeah, there we go.

[Michelle Obama]

Guys, I'm white, intoxicated, gender dysmorphia, depressed, retarded. You can't prosecute me for anything. The laws do not apply, sir.

[Andy]

I need some proof. Just dance. You know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, man. We live in a strange place, bro.

[Andy]

What a time, man.

[Michelle Obama]

We have to, like, in real talk, I know we're talking a lot of. And making jokes, but, like, dude, we as citizens have to start demanding accountability for all people. If the laws only apply selectively, then the laws do not matter, period. We will never have civility or structure or rule of law in society with selective application. We won't have a high trust society. We'll have exactly what we have. Which honestly, I think all of us are getting pretty tired of.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, guys, tell us if you are tired of it. Let us know down in the comments what you guys think about this topic. With that being said, let's go check out some of your thoughts and opinions as we create.

[Michelle Obama]

All they're going to be is people talking about how good DJ is, how we already know how this is going to go.

[Andy]

You want to bet?

[Michelle Obama]

First comment.

[Andy]

What you think?

[Michelle Obama]

I don't know. DJs the funniest.

[Andy]

No, man. This first comment, bro. Listen, like.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, wait, hold on. Before we get into this, I got a bone to pick.

[Andy]

Uhoh.

[Michelle Obama]

All right.

[Andy]

Who?

[Michelle Obama]

I put a poll up on my story that said who wins 100 Andy and DJs or gorilla? And 65% said Andy and DJ, which clearly they're intelligent, but apparently 35% of you are in a protected class because there's no fucking way.

[Andy]

No. There's no chance.

[Michelle Obama]

There's no way. And first of all, 100 Andy and DJs is actually 200 people technically, so we would definitely win mathematically. Dumb asses.

[Andy]

Yeah, and I'm not a. I'm not a botanist, so. But I think the math works out.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay.

[Andy]

Yep. Let's cruise some comments, man.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay.

[Andy]

What this first one, man. Az Flyboard Rental. My vote on the tag team name is Heat and Humidity.

[Michelle Obama]

I like that.

[Andy]

Still think they like me, huh? You still think that? That's all lifting up. D.J. hunt. They called me Humidity.

[Michelle Obama]

I like it. Heat. Heat's good. I'll take it.

[Andy]

Heat and Humidity. That's rich, man. That's rich. See what they did there? Yep. Thanks. Next one. Purple pig form. Oh, you know this is gonna be good. Purple pig form. Andy. Dj, make a monkey sound. Dj.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh.

[Andy]

Oh, I want a hellcat, bro.

[Michelle Obama]

That's some racist. That's some racist, man. Bro.

[Andy]

Man. What, man, what the. Man?

[Michelle Obama]

That's some racist purple pig farm. You should be proud, dude. I mean it, man.

[Andy]

It is what it is.

[Michelle Obama]

It is what it is.

[Andy]

It's good for the soul.

[Michelle Obama]

It's. You know what? Here's the thing. This is the other thing. We are in a protected class because we're comedians. Say whatever the we want. We are. We are not business people or podcasters. Or youtubers.

[Andy]

Nope.

[Michelle Obama]

We are comedians, which means we can say fucking anything.

[Andy]

It's a joke.

[Michelle Obama]

And if you don't like it. Tough. Can't do anything because we're protected.

[Andy]

Tough balls, man. Now, I got some other comments. And Andy. Andy Frisella came back to Instagram.

[Michelle Obama]

He did. It was an accident.

[Andy]

No, it was.

[Michelle Obama]

It was an accident, was it not so? Dude, it's real. Real. I swear. I swear it was an accident. Okay, So I was building out, okay, it's been five years since I've posted.

[Andy]

Yeah, literally five years.

[Michelle Obama]

And since then, there's been a lot of updates to Instagram, right? And so I was, like, trying to build out my post as if I was going to post. I wasn't actually going to.

[Andy]

Just testing it out. It's been a minute.

[Michelle Obama]

I was trying to build a carousel and, you know, make a nice post. I wanted to show the receipts, which are so uncommon these days. I wanted to communicate to people, like, hey, man, these people that you think are these, you know, rich, smart, like, dude, they're just like you. They just don't fucking quit. Which is what I've always told people. And, you know, we have a lot of frauds and fakers that can't show the receipts, and that's not very inspiring, bro. It's not inspiring when you just show the result and you don't explain, like, how you actually got there. Like, instead of, you know, just selling people the end result and pretending like they can have it, too, and then the only way they make their money is by selling people that dream when they haven't actually done anything else besides sell people that. I don't like that. That's not real. Okay? And I just wanted to show people what it looked like, you know, how the fuck I got here, you know, and we have a lot of people that follow me that don't know my background. And so I was just, you know, okay, let's build a little visual carousel and a caption. And I was like. I was, you know, building it out. I'm like, this. This would probably be a pretty cool post. And then my phone rang. And when my phone rang, I answered it, and then I put it on speaker because I was still. I was still trying to look at the carousel, and it posted.

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Michelle Obama]

And I was like, oh. And then I was like, all right, whatever, man. And so that's. That's what happened. For real.

[Andy]

People loved it.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, it like, hey, man, it might be another five years, but I'm just saying, you know, it is what it is. You know, I think I. You know, here's what I will say. It was really Cool to. It was really cool to see so many people that I recognize their IG handles from, like, years and years and years ago, still following along. And. And there was a lot of stories in the comments which were, like, hey, man, since then, I've done this, you know, since I found you, this is what I've done. And guys, like, real talk, man, like, you know, jokes aside, that inspires the. Out of me. Like, because, like, dude, when you're here and you're talking into a microphone or a phone, it's like talking into the abyss. Like, you don't know how many people are actually following it or doing it. And you wonder, like, dude, does anybody hear what I'm saying? And it was just cool because, like, I got a lot of dms and there was a lot of posts and comments or a lot of comments in the posts that were kind of telling me, like, how people had progressed. And I just. That made me feel. It made me feel good and it made me proud of everybody that's out there doing the work. And I know we joke around a lot, we talk a lot of. But it. I don't know, I think we got a really special community and it's just. It's cool. So, like, I'm, you know, I'll probably. I'll probably stay on it just so we could start, you know, connecting again. And I don't know, I'm just. It's just feel. It made me feel grateful.

[Andy]

Yeah, we shall see. We shall see. People loved it. We pulled a couple of comments.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, we're doing Cruise Andy's comments.

[Andy]

Cruise Andy's comments.

[Michelle Obama]

All right. Hey, that's a good deal. You guys comment in the. In my post, we might put you on the show.

[Andy]

I put you up. So this first one. Nico Las Vico. Andy coming for the course sellers.

[Michelle Obama]

I mean, I'm not, but I think my presence sort of speaks for itself.

[Andy]

Listen, I think there's gonna be a lot of people delete their Instagrams after this. I'm just being real. Well, we'll see.

[Michelle Obama]

There's nothing wrong with courses from people who've actually done things.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

The problem is.

[Andy]

That's the key.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes. There's nothing wrong with spending money to learn things from people who have done the things they are teaching. That is. That's called intelligent. But when you just look at someone's lifestyle and you think, oh, I'm going to buy this course because I think I can have that. That's called protected class. You know, saying, like, it just.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, that's real. This next one, mortgage fix says af back posting squares before GTA 6.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, man, that's a good one.

[Andy]

That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. Probably favorite one from White Ninja season. It's White nigga season.

[Michelle Obama]

It is.

[Andy]

Bro. Look at the. I like. I like the profile picture.

[Michelle Obama]

You know what was. Bro, bro, you know what was so funny about that is that I saw that comment and I laughed and then, like, some of the people got, like, offended by it.

[Andy]

Oh, no.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, because it's like, you know, there's two communities, bro. There's podcast community, then there's Instagram communities, YouTube community. It's all different. Yeah, so, like, a lot of these people don't know how much we talk shit and joke around on the show. And a couple people were like, oh, bro, you know, that's. It's like, dude, come on, man. We joke around here. It's all good.

[Andy]

Yeah, relax. It's all right.

[Michelle Obama]

I will tell you, I do block with the quickness. You come on my page with some bullshit, bro, you never be on it again.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

And I will receive the.

[Andy]

People don't get you first.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, that's right. And I will reciprocate. No shit, bro. Maybe I shouldn't do that ever. Just let the people handle it.

[Andy]

People don't get you first.

[Michelle Obama]

My people are fucking vicious.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, just for. I mean, for example.

[Michelle Obama]

But dude, I meet. I meet you don't perform, huh?

[Andy]

Purple farmer get you. Purple pig farmer get you.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, yeah, no doubt. You don't want that. But, dude, I will meet your motherfucking energy, just so you know, like. And I'm wittier than you, so just be ready.

[Andy]

It's great, man. It's a damn good time. Like I said, dude, what a time to be alive, man. Yeah, what a time. With that being said, guys, we do appreciate you for being real ass fans, of course.

[Michelle Obama]

And I want to say, like, for real, dude. It just. I just really appreciated all the love, dude. Real talk. It was awesome.

[Andy]

No, it was. It was awesome. Yeah. Let's get back to our cruise. Time to go global.

[Michelle Obama]

What boat we taking? We taking your boat.

[Andy]

I'm chained. That's it.

[Michelle Obama]

Dude, DJ and I were sitting on my porch the other day smoking cigars, and I said, when we get yachts, what are you gonna call yours? Said you're gonna call it Unchained, bro.

[Andy]

I mean, that's sick, though.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, that is sick.

[Andy]

Like, imagine my pulling up just broken chains, man. Yeah. You know What I'm saying, it'd be sick. I'm. I'm. Listen, I'm doing it.

[Michelle Obama]

I know you are.

[Andy]

I'm doing.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Headline number two, though, man. We gotta go global. Let's go to. There is some tensions, all right? The waters are murky.

[Michelle Obama]

Where?

[Andy]

Okay, India. India and Pakistan.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes. Good guess.

[Andy]

I said I'm gonna be good. This episode.

[Michelle Obama]

All right, Z?

[Z]

Nothing.

[Michelle Obama]

Is it true? Are the water's murky?

[Z]

No comment.

[Michelle Obama]

I took Z for riding RA today.

[Andy]

Did you?

[Z]

That was amazing.

[Michelle Obama]

I tried to let him drive it. He wouldn't do it.

[Z]

Now, I don't want to mess up your car. It's been a long time since I've driven a stick shift.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, I mean, it's a good time to learn, bro.

[Z]

One of my favorite cars, though.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. We ripped it.

[Z]

You did?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. Did you?

[Z]

Yeah. That was the funniest.

[Michelle Obama]

You can hear it in the building.

[Z]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama]

That's a loud car.

[Z]

People heard it in different parts of the building, inside.

[Michelle Obama]

That's awesome.

[Z]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, let's go. Let's. Let's go check on our buddy because we got some good friends over there in India. We got great friends in India. I like India. All right? And listen, India is ready to make the moves. You know what I'm saying? This comes out. Pakistan claims it has credible intelligence India will strike within 36 hours.

[Michelle Obama]

Strike Pakistan?

[Andy]

Yes. Listen, this. This shit's getting heated, all right? It's getting real. All right? That's some real stuff going on. So. Tensions between India and Pakistan has. Have escalated further after a top Pakistani official claimed early Wednesday to have credible intelligence that New Delhi will carry out a military action against Islamabad within the next two days. The claim came as both the United States and China urged restraint. So what happened?

[Michelle Obama]

Well, I did see a video. I. Go ahead. I'll tell you what I saw.

[Andy]

Yeah. What happened? Like, what got these two countries. Because there's always been tension, Z. Am I right?

[Michelle Obama]

Like.

[Andy]

Like India, Pakistan, they've always.

[Michelle Obama]

But aren't they. Aren't you guys, like, cousins? No. I'm being serious. Like, same kind of people, right?

[Z]

Pakistan was a part of India before they declared independence.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Z]

And it was basically that happened because of religion differences, like how here in America, we are majorly divided because of Democratic and Republican values over there. The division is geared because of religion, and that's one of the driving factors of the main two political parties that, quote, unquote, rule the country.

[Andy]

And that's Islam and Hindi, right?

[Z]

Hindu. Hinduism, yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. But there's Always been tensions there, right? The water has always been murky.

[Michelle Obama]

I don't know if it's always been.

[Andy]

It's always been murky for a long time.

[Michelle Obama]

For thousands of years maybe, but not forever if we go far enough back.

[Andy]

I'm sure it was nice at one point.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes.

[Andy]

Calm and clean. Not clean. Not clean. I didn't mean to say clean. What, what got. What, what, what's the new tensions about? Okay. Because this is actually really up story of what happened. There was a terrorist attack in India, okay. Dozens killed. His gunman massacre tourists in Kashmir, beauty spot. And dude, it's so crazy. Like there was a, there was a clip of a guy on his zip line. So like I guess it's like a park, right? And there was a guy doing a zip line and he's like videotaping himself and like as he's going by, completely oblivious to what's happening underneath. Like there was a massacre underneath him. 26 people were killed, at least 26, dozens other injured. There was reports of like the gunmen were going around having people pull down their pants to verify if they were like, like Hindu or Muslim because Muslims circumcised circumcise themselves and Hindus do not. And so like they were targeting Hindus. So a racist terrorist attack. And so that's kind of what really kicked it up. And India immediately went to blaming and saying that the, the, the, the attackers had some sort of connection to Pakistan. All right? And so then the Minister of Defense from Pakistan came out with this clip, this video. Let's check this out.

[DJ]

Pakistan has credible intelligence that India intends carrying out military action against Pakistan in the next 24 to 36 hours on the pretext of baseless and concocted allegations of involvement in the Pehalgam incident. Indian self assumed hubristic role of judge, jury and executioner in the region is reckless and vehemently rejected. Pakistan has been the victim of terrorism itself and truly understands the pain of this scourge. We have always condemned terrorism in all its forms and manifestations anywhere in the world. Being a responsible state, Pakistan open heartedly offered a credible, transparent and independent investigation by a neutral commission of experts to ascertain the truths. Unfortunately, rather than pursuing the path of reason, India has apparently decided to tread the dangerous path of irrationality and confrontation which will have catastrophic consequences for the complete region and beyond. Evasion of credible investigation is in itself sufficient evidence. Exposing India's real motives. Consciously making strategic decisions hostage to, to public sentiments purposefully trumped up for securing political objectives is unfortunate and deplorable Pakistan reiterates that any such military adventurism by India would be responded to assuredly and decisively. The international community must remain alive to the reality that the onus of escalatory spiral and its ensuing consequences shall squarely lie with India. The nation reiterates its resolve to defend the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Pakistan at all costs. Pakistan. Zindabad.

[Andy]

Pakistan's in the bag. Oh, wow. Great. Listen, it's wild, all right. There's been like.

[Michelle Obama]

So this was over a mass shooting?

[Andy]

Yeah. When did that terrorist attack. April 20th. April 23rd, I believe, actually.

[Michelle Obama]

Do you have the video of the zipline thing?

[Andy]

No, no. April 22nd is when. Is when it happened.

[Michelle Obama]

I thought this was. Would you have more on this?

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean, like. I mean, it's been. It's been. It's been getting heated. All right. There's. There's, like, there's sources saying that along some of the border, shots have already been starting to get exchanged between both sides. There was an interview. Let's check this clip out real quick.

[DJ]

Burn you Pakistanis to death.

[Michelle Obama]

Go on, bring it on.

[DJ]

Yeah. You will not be given the grave. You will be given fire.

[Michelle Obama]

We are going to burn you to the ground.

[DJ]

We are going to burn you to action.

[Michelle Obama]

If you have 200.

[DJ]

I give you my word.

[Z]

Times.

[Andy]

Full context. This is.

[Michelle Obama]

This is how it goes over there, bro. Is this how you guys do? I kind of like it, though.

[Andy]

They're both in London while this is.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, but why don't they just fight?

[Z]

So the guy on the left, I'm. I'm trying to loosely translate. He's saying that you don't deserve to breathe the air on this earth. And we will not only nuke you will fire you and just remove your existence.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. You will get no grave.

[Z]

Yeah, that's what he's trying to say. But yeah, this is sometimes. This is how the debates on news channels, that's how they go.

[Michelle Obama]

I like this.

[Z]

Yeah, no, they get super fiery.

[Michelle Obama]

This is how it should be.

[Andy]

Yeah. You.

[Michelle Obama]

Yes. And then you make the leaders fight. That's how. That's how it should be. Instead of sending all of us. That. What? You got nothing to do with this. Right? Like, you guys send your. I mean, I'm sure in every country, you know, they send their regular people to go fight these things because these can't get over their dick measuring. These dudes should fight.

[Z]

Exactly.

[Andy]

Well, I mean, like I said, dude.

[Michelle Obama]

I think of how many people die because of the egos of these leaders.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

There's nothing strategic to gain here. This is fucking ego shit. And we're gonna say well you're gonna send your fucking. Your, your.

[Z]

Your f. Not only that, there is.

[Michelle Obama]

Same everywhere and it's been the same for thousand years.

[Z]

Correct. And not only that, there is a very strong undertone of extreme extremism because of religion.

[Andy]

Yeah. That's the amplifies it.

[Z]

That's the main undertone factor between the.

[Michelle Obama]

Problem within what's the conflict in relationship religion. I understand they're too different. But like, like so we, we can't tolerate other religions.

[Z]

No, it's not that actually. So I'll tell you, it's the basically the same thing everywhere. Like how here if you go out and talk to common people, they're all cool.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Z]

Regardless of where you come from. Same, same everywhere. It's the political agenda and the things in the news. And the main thing is because Muslims eat beef and in Hindu religion the cow is considered a sacred animal is often tied of very high religious importance to a lot of gods.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay.

[Z]

And there are some states in India where eating beef is illegal.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay.

[Z]

So that's the main undertone.

[Michelle Obama]

So let's have a thousand year feud over steaks.

[Z]

Exactly.

[Andy]

Yeah, I would.

[Michelle Obama]

And, and I know you would.

[Andy]

Which I mean, I'm just.

[Michelle Obama]

Sorry.

[Andy]

Yeah, well you're not, you're not Hindu. It's fine.

[Z]

No, but the, but how we, we get it done here, it's the same thing over there. The people in the leading positions in the politics know this and they gear it purposefully.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Z]

That's what it is.

[Andy]

It's so basically. So basically India said that Pakistan tried to redeem some. India's like do not redeem. You know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

That's a terrible joke.

[Andy]

Well, and Pakistan is like we didn't redeem shit, but we will redeem if we got to.

[Michelle Obama]

You know, here's what I think. So we're gonna send all our men to die over a cow. That's that. How does that make sense?

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean listen, it does it. But both sides are heated right now.

[Michelle Obama]

I know.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michelle Obama]

I saw a very. I saw an almost. I saw it almost go down, bro.

[Andy]

Well listen, they've been pumping out fucking like military propaganda videos and stuff from both sides. Yeah, I got, I got an example of both sides.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

For the show, for context. So this is what came out of Pakistan. Let's check this clip.

[E]

LA.

[Michelle Obama]

So while there's no secret as to why the United States kicks the out of Everybody, show me your war face. Got a bayonet and he hits it with the back of the gun.

[Andy]

All right, all right. So that was Pakistan.

[Michelle Obama]

This. This is serious, bro.

[Andy]

Listen, India responded. They ain't. India does not around. India responded with this.

[Michelle Obama]

We see you, bro. That slaps, bro. I'm fighting for India. They got better music. I'm fighting with India, bro. We're gonna have a good time, too.

[Andy]

India's in the bag.

[Michelle Obama]

Indian people have good time, bro. They know how to party even when they're killing people.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'm with it.

[Michelle Obama]

I'm with it. I saw a video of how this was gonna go down, though. Did you see this video? I saw a third video.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Let me send it to you.

[Andy]

Send it to me? Yeah. Let's put it here.

[Michelle Obama]

All right. This is the one. I just step to this.

[Andy]

You want the.

[Michelle Obama]

You.

[Andy]

This one, too. India is ready to redeem, man.

[Michelle Obama]

That's some good right there. See that? Just that dance bs, bro.

[Andy]

You know what I feel bad for, you know, because here's the real. Here's the, like, real, real quick for, like, two seconds, man. So, like, if they. If these two countries really go to war, like, blow it all out, who I really feel bad for is, like, the. You know, the grannies and that were told that, like, the IRS is coming to lock them up if they didn't send the 399 on a Walmart gift card. And they're just waiting for their sentencing now. You know what I'm saying? Because, you know, Kyle is not calling them back to tell him, you know what I'm saying? Because he's busy fighting, you know, in the war.

[Michelle Obama]

Is this how this goes?

[Z]

Yeah, but this. The section in the video is the one that's super bad. But, yeah, it's how it goes.

[Michelle Obama]

What do you mean? Like, it's not. It's better than this.

[Z]

It's way better than this.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay, so this is. This is. We just caught him on a bad day.

[Z]

Yeah, no, they took the worst section of the whole performance. And that's the.

[Andy]

That's.

[Michelle Obama]

I don't know. I thought it was pretty good.

[Andy]

It's like a stadium around the border thing.

[Michelle Obama]

So they just dance. Battle it out.

[Z]

It's not dance. It's like marching but super exaggerated and what?

[Michelle Obama]

That. So they stomp at each other and shit?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

So it's like cockfighting?

[Z]

Yeah, kind of.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, kind of like it. I kind of like how they do shit over there.

[Andy]

I'm trying to find you a picture. India.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, Americans to Go over there and live. Yeah, I would like to get in on that dance battle. You and I should. Dance battle. That's the power move.

[Andy]

Oh, look, look, here it is. So they have like a whole stadium right, right there where they do this at. It's like a whole stadium over there. Let me blow this up a little bit.

[Michelle Obama]

There should be a stadium. It's awesome.

[Z]

I've been there.

[Michelle Obama]

Are you being serious?

[Z]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, you went there and watched this?

[Z]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama]

Was it cool?

[Z]

Yeah, yeah, a lot from both sides, really? So there are seatings on both sides and there's a big door, so it's like, just like that.

[Michelle Obama]

So it's like you're American football.

[Z]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, you guys wear the jerseys and cheer.

[Z]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

And then you pin their face after the game. You tell the other team you.

[Z]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Y. Do you guys eat the hamburgers in front of them? One side serves hamburgers, the other side serves, you know, burgers.

[Andy]

Yeah, right, right.

[Z]

You guys are get going to get a lot of spam calls now.

[Michelle Obama]

No, we're not.

[Andy]

We busy fighting, man. Like, that's what I was saying.

[Michelle Obama]

Spam calls.

[Andy]

Yeah, man. Listen, it's. It's getting crazy over there, so it's.

[Michelle Obama]

About to pop off, dude.

[Andy]

Shit's getting real.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

These guys look pretty tactical, though.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Nice little AK they got.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. You know, I mean, looking good and fighting good is probably two different things, isn't it?

[Andy]

It's true. That's true. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. We'll keep you guys monitored, as always. Of.

[Michelle Obama]

Let's just stick to dance battling.

[Andy]

Just. I say you have one big dance battle.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

That's how we should solve things here.

[Andy]

Winner gets the cow.

[Michelle Obama]

But the one side. I want the cow. Oh, I get it now. Yeah. They want to save the cow.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Michelle Obama]

Got it.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay.

[Andy]

Exactly. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. Guys, jump in on this conversation.

[Michelle Obama]

So if India loses, no hamburgers.

[Andy]

No, no hamburgers.

[Michelle Obama]

But if they win, Pakistan's gotta eat hamburgers.

[Andy]

Well, no, the other way around.

[Michelle Obama]

No. You guys eat burgers, right?

[Andy]

Well, yeah, he's not. He's not.

[Z]

But hamburger is technically pork.

[Michelle Obama]

No.

[Andy]

What?

[Michelle Obama]

It's. It's.

[Z]

It's beef.

[Michelle Obama]

It's beef.

[Andy]

Who told you that?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. All right. I thought it was sense that it would be called hamburger, but no hamburger.

[Andy]

Wait.

[Michelle Obama]

How the is he gonna know? He's from India, bro.

[Z]

I'm illiterate.

[Michelle Obama]

It makes sense. I get what you're saying.

[Andy]

It does make. Okay, yeah, in that context, okay.

[Michelle Obama]

But no. Hamburgers generally made with ground beef. I learned you've been over there making at home with ham. Huh?

[Z]

I learned something new today.

[Michelle Obama]

These hamburgers are different. I will never go to McDonald's.

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Z]

Oh, McDonald's has a veggie burger back in India.

[Michelle Obama]

Really?

[Z]

If you don't get here, it's the.

[Andy]

Only place that does it, isn't it?

[Z]

I'm not sure about the other countries, but it's because they have a large Hindu population. We don't get it here in America.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Thank God.

[Andy]

Yeah. You know what else we got here? I said I was gonna be good, man.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, you were the opposite again.

[Andy]

Guys, jump in on this conversation, man. Let us know down in the comments what you guys think. With that being said, a third and final headline. Headline number three, we got. We got Michelle in the mix. Michelle Obama is in the podcast today. She is some people off. Among other things, Michelle Obama blasts Trump's immigration crackdown. It keeps me up at night, so this is getting some heat. She's been labeled a hypocrite, among other things. Um, former first lady Michelle Obama said President Donald Trump's aggressive immigration crackdown is striking fear into people of color in America. Obama made the comments during an appearance with her brother, Craig Robinson on Monday's episode. Hold on.

[Michelle Obama]

Let's. Let's stop this right now. Let's point this out. They generalize all people of color so they can hope to rally the troops against this, Right? Like, there's lots and lots of black people. In fact, most of them, to the tune of 70 to 80%, do not want these migrants here. Okay? So, like, I love how they lump that. Yeah. They try to create it like it's. It's this or that. You're either Team PAC or you're Team Whitey. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude. Like, dude, I'm so fucking tired of these Obama people. Like, all they do is stir the race pot over and over and over and over again with no standing, ok? You have no moral. You were literally the highest office of this country, ok? You were president and first lady of the United States. And all they fucking talk about is racial oppression. Get the fuck out of here. Okay? I am tired of hearing it.

[Andy]

I'll do this. Sick. It's like that. You know the metaphor? Like, you know, the ants in the jar, they shake the shit out of that job.

[Michelle Obama]

You know why? Because they are enemies of America. They are not. They do not give a. About unity. They've understood for A very long time that the way to continue to pull the cloak over people's eyes is to stir racial divide so that pox and whities will argue amongst each other and not notice how much they are taking from us, which is pretty much everything at this point. Our freedoms, our rights, our tax dollars, you know, our safety, pretty much everything. So before we even continue down this road, fuck you, ok? Michelle Obama, you are full of shit. Everybody knows you're full of shit. And your time in the sun is fucking over, ok? I know that when you were president or the first lady and you were getting, you know, on the COVID of all the magazines and you were the darling of the universe, I know that's probably hard to come back to reality and realize that it was all propaganda and everybody was lying to you, ok? Because you aren't. But we are tired in this country of being propagated white people and black people and against each other. We're fucking tired of it, ok? So fuck off.

[Andy]

But, yeah, she went. She went on Jay Shetty's podcast and, you know, had some things to say about Trump's immigration policies.

[Michelle Obama]

She was saying some shit about the safety. Okay, go ahead.

[Andy]

Yeah, let's play the clip.

[Michelle Obama]

I'm getting ahead of myself because you're fucking irritated.

[Andy]

Let's watch the clip. Let's check it out.

[E]

Couldn't be. We couldn't walk around saying, valedictorian, straight A student, you know, speaks excellent, has excellent diction if you give them a chance. You know, we knew very early on that, that no one was going to see beyond the color of our skin at an early age and, and that could get you in trouble.

[Michelle Obama]

Stop. Do you know why no one sees past the color of your skin? Because it's all you talk about, that's why. Real people out in the real world don't give a fuck about the color of people's fucking skin. We don't. I don't give a fuck. Do you give a fuck? Do you? And we all have different shades of fucking skin. And pretty much all I know, all the white I know is contrary to what people believe, they don't give a fuck either. Fuck, dude, I'm tired of hearing it. Shut the fuck up. You were first lady of the motherfucking United States. No one gives a fuck. And I'm tired of her preaching the way she preaches with her nose pointed down at everybody else like you're some sort of fucking moral authority on anything. You've never done a motherfucking thing. You were fucking elected off of race. You ruin the fucking country and that's the reality of it.

[Andy]

You would think. You just leave.

[Michelle Obama]

Just shut the fuck up.

[Andy]

Yeah, and go. Go get your fucking started.

[Michelle Obama]

This podcast and nobody listens to. Because you don't have a fake media propping up all the shit. Fuck, dude. Fuck off. I'm. Dude, I'm so tired of their fucking faces and their smugness. They're so fucking smug. They don't give a fuck about black people. If they gave a fuck about black people, they would actually hold the black people that are causing all the violence and crime accountable. They wouldn't give them excuses because of the color of their skin. We couldn't be straight A stu. I'm pretty sure there's lots of fucking very successful black people that did very good in school and they won valedictorian. I mean, there's a whole bunch. Fuck them. A whole bunch of them. Okay? Like fuck, dude, we got our own fucking. We got black schools. We don't have fucking white schools got black schools. We got black television. We have white television. You see what I'm saying? Like, dude, it's you the fucking cares. It's you that rides that shit because you benefit from it.

[Andy]

Because it's all they can.

[Michelle Obama]

And dude, they don't have a policy. Their. Their goal is to destroy America and destroy its culture. And that's the real goal. These people are communists. Those were the first two fuckers that actually got into power about it. They do not give a fuck about black people at all and they fucking hate white people. So it's. Dude, I'm tired of hearing it. Anyway, let's continue so I can roast her some more.

[E]

And. And that could get you in trouble.

[Z]

Yeah, I mean, when you talk about that fear, I'm sure that fear has been tested across your life in so many different places. And I wonder, what would you say has been the most hardest recent test of that fear?

[Michelle Obama]

Because it's not one of those fears.

[Z]

That you kind of get over and it just goes away. It kind of shows its head in many different ways, I imagine.

[E]

Well, in this current climate, for me it's, you know, what's happening to immigrants, you know, so it's. It's not the fear for myself anymore. I drive around in a four car motorcade with a police escort. I'm Michelle Obama. I do still worry about my daughters in the world, even though they are somewhat recognizable. So my fears are for what I know is happening out there in streets all over the city. And now that we have Leadership.

[Michelle Obama]

What's happening in the streets in this city? Oh, what is happening? Oh, migrants are coming into black neighborhoods and committing more crime and taking more resources that were meant for American citizens, not black people. American citizens, ok? Black Americans are American citizens. And you fuckers have allowed all of these people to come in from all over the world. And they are not the productive members and the brain surgeons and the fucking engineers standing members of society. These are single military age males who are coming in to, to by your own admission, your people's neighborhoods and fucking them up even more, ok? So they don't get the resources, they don't get the protection. The migrants are taking all the funds that are meant for black Americans in their neighborhoods and that's what's happening. And they're committing all kinds of crimes. Like bro, so let's be real about what's happening in the streets. Michelle, I know, I know you roll around in a motorcade. So do I. But just so you know, that's what the fuck is actually happening. I fucking. Dude, dude, she's up there with Hillary Clinton for me, bro.

[Andy]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Let's hear some more bullshit.

[E]

Is sort of indiscriminately determining who belongs and who doesn't. And we know that those decisions aren't being made with courts and with due process. And you know that, that it's being made.

[Michelle Obama]

It's really easy who's making this. The decision is very black and white. It is America's citizens versus non citizens. Okay? And non citizens do not have the rights of citizens, therefore do not get court dates. And you think you would know that if you were first lady of the United States and a scholar like you pretend to be.

[Andy]

They want them to have rights.

[Michelle Obama]

They want them to have. They want the court, they want them to get held up in the courts so that they are here for the longest period of time so that they get to fucking vote in 2028. That's all this is. Please continue. I won't interrupt anymore.

[E]

It's being made like this cop that pulled my brother over when he was 12. You don't look like somebody.

[Michelle Obama]

Stop.

[E]

That belongs.

[Michelle Obama]

I lied. Why the is your brother getting pulled over when he was 12, right?

[Andy]

Right?

[Michelle Obama]

You can't drive in this country till you're 16. You think you know that too? What are you. Nevermind.

[Andy]

Wait, but wait, wait, wait. So your brother was pulled over, you know, driving around your house and the cops, oh, you don't belong here. But wait, I thought you guys grew up in like a bad area. And poor and like.

[Michelle Obama]

What are you talking about? You know, hold on. You can't just. There's no. You can't drive when you're 12.

[Andy]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle Obama]

What are you talking about? Pulled over? Like, you mean like on, like he's walking?

[Andy]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle Obama]

Or did he get pulled over? Because if he got pulled over 12, pretty sure he stole the car.

[E]

You know, I can determine just by looking at you that you're, you know, you're a good person or you're not a good person. And knowing that there's so much bias and so much racism and so much ignorance that fuels those kind of choices. I worry for people of color all over this country and I don't know that we will have the advocates to protect everybody. And that makes me. That frightens me. It keeps me up at night and I know that there are. And I, and I see that when I'm driving around la. I'm just looking in the faces of folks who could be victim and I'm wondering, how are you feeling? How do you feel standing on the bus stop? How do you, how do you feel comfortable going to work, going to school.

[Michelle Obama]

When you know, well, they don't feel comfortable because you guys fucking let all these criminals in and they're fucking terrified they're going to get shot by someone who doesn't even belong in this country. And on top of that, you're the ones that allowed them in. Your party, your people, your policies, your fucking bullshit lies that you try to convince everybody that it's about diversity and all this shit. No, it's about ruining the culture of the United States and making it harder and harder and harder and harder and harder for the regular American citizens, black or white, to get by. Okay, that's like. She's not thinking any of this.

[Andy]

Not only that, Andy. Not only that, let's go back to good old Barry Obama. Because the thing is he, he has deported 30 times more immigrants than Trump has.

[Michelle Obama]

That's unfortunate.

[Andy]

So if anything, Trump needs to be taking your guys fucking playbook. Your husband deported more.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. Why Trump should hire Obama as the. And make him work with Holman.

[Andy]

Yeah, like how do we. Well, they did it.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, they can do things. They can do whatever they want. No one says anything. Otherwise. If you say something, guess what? Racist. Dude. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of being told as a white person that all white people are racist and there's so much racism and they're this and that and this and this and this, this and this. I'M fucking over it. I'm fucking over it, ok? The real talk is white people can't even fucking voice an opinion about black crime without being called race. Oh, you pointed out the crime data. You're a fucking racist, ok? Oh, you think this kid in fucking Texas deserves to go to fucking prison? It's because you hate black people. Right? This is a fucking weapon that they've. They've worn out. And it sucks that they've worn it out, too, because there are actually cases of racism, and now we can't identify them because fudgeing. These people call everything fucking racist.

[Andy]

Yep. They've worn out the sympathy.

[Michelle Obama]

And by the way, the real racism here is, is that white people can't say shit. Black people say whatever fuck they want, do whatever they want. That's the fucking truth. Okay? That's the truth. All right? And, dude, I'm not. I think it's wrong either way. The only thing she said in that whole thing was that, you know, good people and bad people, like, and she didn't even add context to it. Like, that's all it is, bro. It's good people and bad people. And if you're afraid for people that you drive up and down the street for, and just remember, you're the one that caused the fear. You're the one that did this.

[Andy]

You did it, bro.

[Michelle Obama]

She's a piece of.

[Andy]

Oh, terrible piece of. And. But. But to that point, I don't think it might not be she no more. Listen, I've said it. I've said it. And now we get to hear from the horse's mouth.

[Michelle Obama]

No, that's bullshit, Andy. That's out of context, Andy. No, it's. I saw it. I saw the whole clip. It's out of clip. Just play it.

[Andy]

I'm just saying.

[Michelle Obama]

No, it's out of context. She's saying, that's a dude. Why?

[Andy]

That's. Dude.

[Michelle Obama]

Just play the clip. I fucking. This is bullshit.

[E]

I wanted to talk, Marlon, a bit about, you know, just so proud of how you are being a role model for dealing with a child that's transgender.

[Andy]

Absolutely.

[E]

And that's, you know, that warms my heart, particularly as a black man, you know. Would you care to share that journey of.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, I. I learned. Stop. That's taken out of context. Look, bro, I call it how I see it. What's right is right. What's wrong is wrong. I saw the whole Internet say this. They're saying, oh, you know, like, she's admitting that she's a dude. No, she's not, not. She's saying that he's a black man.

[Andy]

Then why does she say that?

[Michelle Obama]

Because.

[Andy]

So you got to see her dick to believe it.

[Michelle Obama]

No. Yes. Like, dude, I know it's, you want to.

[Andy]

So you want to see Michelle Obama's dick?

[Michelle Obama]

No, I don't, but I'm saying I don't believe that she's, we might joke and I say shit, Listen, listen, I don't believe that. I think it's bullshit.

[Andy]

You really don't know? Okay, let me ask you this.

[Michelle Obama]

So look at the difference between her and her brother. It's a big fucking difference to how they look.

[Andy]

Not to me. Same, Same, same, same.

[Michelle Obama]

They're. Come on, dude.

[Z]

No, I, I, I think they look very alike. She has just made her look feminine. If you take that person on the right, make the person thin. He had a lot of. She does exactly the same. That's just my opinion.

[Michelle Obama]

Same style. Look, I don't, I don't, I, we might joke about it. I don't actually believe it. I don't think it's right to fucking be serious about it because I, I, you know.

[Andy]

Okay, so let me, let me ask you this.

[Michelle Obama]

But here's the point. The point is, is that, that, that comment was taken out of context. And I don't like contributing to things like that or say, going along with things like that because I think it discredits, I think it discredits people who go with that. Just like the left when they do crazy ass shit and lie.

[Andy]

Listen, I get that. I can definitely understand that. Do you think, have you seen all the shit on like, Emmanuel Macron's that's a Dude? Okay, all right. I want Candace to do a fucking deep dive on her. I think, I feel like somebody has to.

[Michelle Obama]

I think Candace would have if she believed that. Candace goes after the truth and that's why a lot of people don't like her. I think Candace does a very good job of remaining unbiased. I think she says the truth. I think she's fearless and I'm very thankful for her presence in culture because it's, it's very real and it's very authentic. And I think if Candace thought that she was a man, she would already be all over it. That's my opinion.

[Andy]

I just think, I think the thing is, bro, is that, like, you can't touch that. You know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

Like, Candace.

[Andy]

No, no, what I'm saying is not.

[Michelle Obama]

Afraid to go after.

[Andy]

No, no, I'm not, That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, though, anybody that does or tries to. Bro. Like, I mean, that's. You're like. That's like with Hillary Clinton. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's up there on what you. Do you remember Joan Rivers?

[Michelle Obama]

I do.

[Andy]

Okay, so.

[Michelle Obama]

But Joan Rivers was also a comedian.

[Andy]

She was, but she was also dead after she said this.

[Michelle Obama]

Ms. Rivers, how are you? You made. You made a ton of news officiating the wedding in New York yesterday. Is this like a. Is this like a new cottage. Career move for you? I'm so excited. Okay. And I should do very well because I don't choice. And do you think that the country will see the first. The United States will see the first gay president or the first woman president. Have it with Obama. So let's just calm down. Got it. You know, Michelle is a tran. I'm sorry, she's a what? A transgender. We all know. Oh, my gosh. I'm.

[Andy]

Oh, gosh.

[Michelle Obama]

It's okay. I know, I know. I mean, look, bro, I don't know.

[Andy]

Barack's brother. Barack's brother, Malik Obama. Black man Michelle or black man person being interviewed. He believes it.

[Michelle Obama]

No, he always stirs it up. Listen, I'm not gonna. It's whatever. You guys could take whatever you want. I'll think what I want. I'm not buy. I'm not legitimately buying into that.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Until I have. Look, man, everything can be edited right now. Voices, videos. And I've seen all the videos, and I've seen all, you know, her dancing on Ellen, and I've seen that big swinger. Yeah. I mean, like, dude, that can all be made up. And I just. I don't know. I mean, that's my. That's my position on it. And maybe I'm wrong. And if. But until I'm proven wrong, I'm going to say what I think, and that's what I think.

[Andy]

I respect that, Andy. I respect it.

[Michelle Obama]

I mean, it is what it is, man. I. I don't know, dude. Like, I don't know. Obama does seem gay a lot of times. No, I'm. I'm not saying that to be funny. He. He. He. Yeah, he's got a gay vibe to him.

[Andy]

Yeah. Little androgynous.

[Michelle Obama]

It's.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

You know, and he's. But here's what. I don't. I don't care if he's gay, by the way. But what I don't like is this tone that these two use with everybody. This, like, holier than thou like, stoic. Like, I'm. I'm the moral authority and you are like, fuck off. Who the fuck are you, bro? You were a civic fucking servant who got elected to fucking Senate because you were black. And you ran on being black. At the beginning of running on being black started like this identity politics shit. Like, let's be real, bro. Obama didn't fucking win the presidency because he was a great politician. He was a good orator. He's one of the best speakers that's ever existed. His policies were fucking trash, dog. Yeah. And he got elected because he ran on a lie that he didn't even believe himself, which was change and hope and unity. And the reason he got elected is because he's a tremendous liar.

[Andy]

That's it. Yeah, he's damn good speaking.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. And they're good at shaming and leveraging people to feel like, I'm not racist. I voted for Obama because I'm not racist. You know? Look at her face right there. Like, these people always make these. These faces and shit. Like, it's like, it's smugness. I just can't stand smugness. Who the are you, dude? I'm really scared for people of color. What the fuck you talking about, bro? Black Americans are scared as they got all these gangs and all this cartel shit and all these things coming in their neighborhood, soaking up all the funds that you promised them that would help their neighborhoods. Like, no, black people aren't afraid. They're pissed off.

[Andy]

Right? Yeah, I mean, they can't, like. I mean. Yeah. I mean, these people come in, they're stealing all the purses and that they're supposed to be stealing. Like, I mean, it up a lot. Dude, it's.

[Michelle Obama]

Bro, I'm being serious.

[Andy]

The ecosystem.

[Michelle Obama]

I'm being serious. Look, dude, black people should fucking legitimately hate Obama's because of what they've done in their communities.

[Andy]

If they really knew and, like, really looked at it, if they look, if they pissed.

[Michelle Obama]

If they checked out of the idea of identity politics and that. I gotta stick with people because they're the same tone as me, right? They would not like the Obamas.

[Andy]

No, no, that's.

[Michelle Obama]

That's the truth.

[Andy]

That's real.

[Michelle Obama]

The Obamas have been more damaging to the culture of the United States, specifically the urban areas of the cities, which are more populated by black people than white people, which they've destroyed and they've caused more damage to the black community than anybody else in the history of the fucking country. That's the facts, dude.

[Andy]

No, it's very.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, so you know, I think. Don't they have a lot of. They have. Dude, you know what it is, dude? They think that they're so much smarter and so much more cunning and so they think nobody can see their play. Like, I hate to break it to you, Michelle and Barack, but you ain't the only smart out here. Smart people can see through your shit, you know, And I'm just tired of it, dude. And I'm tired of them talking about this race shit. Like, bro, we need to get past this idea that like America was founded on a fucking ideal, ok? And it's not a race of people, it is a culture. And people who abide by that culture, buy into that culture, are welcome here no matter what color they are if they come legally. But when they come illegally and they bring their crimes and their way of life from other places, they're not welcoming. Like we're not, we're not having you shit in the middle of the street, buddy. You know what I'm saying? Like we're not having you rape 12 year old girls because that's what you fucking do wherever the fuck you're from. Like fuck you. And, and, and if you want to know what they're really afraid of, they're really afraid of their daughters being gang raped. Like happens every single fucking day over and over and over again in Europe, all over the place. And they can't say anything about it because it's against the law. If they say shit about it, they go to fucking prison. Well, guess what? We could still talk up. And if we talk up and we fucking end this shit, maybe those people over there will be able to speak up. But Americans better be quit they, you guys better quit being afraid of being told you're racist for speaking the facts.

[Andy]

Well, I mean, the truth is too bro. Like, I mean, and that's how you know it's coming from a really evil place with these people specifically. It's like, you know, if you really, if you truly wanted America to be less racist and you really want racism to end in America, maybe the first place you would start is like stop telling more than half the country that they're fucking racist. Yeah, like that'd be a good place to start.

[Michelle Obama]

Well yeah, cause you know what I'm saying, I'll be real, dude.

[Andy]

It's creating the racism you say exists and it's creating the division and it's creating like real fucking tension. But that's what they want. That's how you know they don't really care, bro.

[Michelle Obama]

You're 100% right. As a white man, I've been called racist for the last 20 fucking years for breathing the air in existing. Okay? Eventually people get tired of that, all right? And people who are less aware and less knowledgeable and less like, understanding of what the play they're trying to run are probably are becoming legitimately more racist.

[Andy]

No, it's not. That's what I'm saying. It's not. It's not like her taking that position, you understand? Absolutely.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, I'm aware of what they're doing, so, like, I can stop myself and be like, bro, this is what they're trying to do. But, like, when you take somebody who may not be as aware of understanding how evil these people are and how.

[Andy]

Cunning they are, or just didn't get the job because, you know, they were beat out from the DEI or, or.

[Michelle Obama]

They got fired because they didn't get into the school.

[Andy]

They were.

[Michelle Obama]

They got fired because they were. They. Even though they were better than other people because they need to fit a race quota.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Michelle Obama]

That's going to make people feel a certain way.

[Andy]

It's going to create the monster that they're saying exists. That doesn't. It doesn't exist.

[Michelle Obama]

It doesn't.

[Andy]

You know, not sick, dude.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, but I mean, listen, I've been. I've not seen anybody in my lifetime has done more damage to American culture than those two.

[Andy]

For sure. Without a doubt.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. And I think that. And then they're. They're like, proud of it, and then they act like they're not doing it. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy]

He's America, so America's racist. Why is America so racist? Yeah, it's a stick in the tire, man. Guys, jump in on this conversation. Let us know down in the comments what you guys think about all of this. Man, be happy.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, bro, remember when, when, during this last election when Barack Obama went to that HBCU and was talking to the kids in the cafeteria and, oh, my brothers. And he starts talking down to him like you have a duty to. You know, I'm really disappointed in the black men. You supported my brothers. Who the are you, bro?

[Andy]

Brothers gotta vote for brothers.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, right, exactly. How about this? How about we vote for the people to make our lives better?

[Andy]

Right?

[Michelle Obama]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy]

We did vote for you, brother.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, you it up.

[Andy]

You didn't do for us brothers.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, bro. The dude's not even the dude. The dude was a plant. He's a CIA fucking plant. He's not even a real Dude, I.

[Andy]

Don'T think he's CIA. I think it's facade.

[Michelle Obama]

It's both of them together. He the guy. The guy was fucking bred up to put. Be put in that. He was installed into that position intentionally. Yes. To do exactly what the fuck he did.

[Andy]

He did it. He did it. Guys, jump in. Let us know down in the comments if you ain't a hoe.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Final segment, as always, bro, I can't stand that lady.

[Michelle Obama]

I can't stand.

[Andy]

Is she beating out Hillary for you?

[Michelle Obama]

No, they're the same, though.

[Andy]

Same, same.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, got it. Yeah, I, you know, they're. They're equally as agitating in different ways, but they both have the same smugness.

[Andy]

Oh, it's the same.

[Michelle Obama]

And I think that's what it is for me.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, who the are you? What have you done? Like, what have you actually done? Like, I know. I know that you were placed in a role, and I know that you were the wife of a president. Well, both of you were. But I'm. I'm sort of confused on what the fuck you've actually done besides tell everybody how great you are and dress like empresses and like you're the fucking ruler of the world. The fuck out of here.

[Andy]

Ain't with. Ain't with it, but yeah, man. Let's get to our final segment, guys. We got, as always, we got thumbs up or dumb as. Sorry. Bring a headline in, we talk about it, it gets one of those two options. Let's go to Germany. Let's go back to Germany. So we covered the story a few. A few CTIs ago. You remember the. The. The. The Deer Calling competition? They do over there, right?

[Michelle Obama]

I do.

[Andy]

Okay. Yeah. They got another competition. Let's. Let's check it out. A thumbs up, dumb as fuck. Headline reads, bloody fingers are just part of the game in this traditional German sport. Let that marinate for a minute.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Bloody fingers. I've had some bloody fingers before.

[Michelle Obama]

Let's. Let's see the sport. Jesus.

[Andy]

Oh, let's go to Pong, Germany. Men in short leather pants and embroidered suspenders risk dislocating digits Sunday as they vied for the top prize at Germany's championship in the sport of finger hocking, or finger finger Wrestling. Around 180 competitors took part in Sunday's 64th German championship in Pong, about an hour's drive southwest of Munich. It's thought that finger wrestling, popular in Germany's Alpine region and neighboring Austria, originated as a way to settle disputes. The earliest depictions of the sport go back to the 19th century participants on Sunday wore the traditional Bavarian dress known as trotch. Right. Today, Finger Holland is highly organized and follows strict rules, starting with exactly defined measurements for both the table and the leather loop. In Sunday's championship, there were several winners in different weight and age categories. There are nine clubs in Germany and another four neighboring Austria, says Horge Hailer, careful. Chairman of Germany's oldest and biggest club, Finger Hocklin Schnick Schnitzelazzi. Let's check. Clip out. Oh, they're getting serious. He's getting limbered, getting lumbered up. Rich history.

[Michelle Obama]

Have you been to Germany?

[Andy]

Nope. Yeah. Yes. I'm into Ramstein.

[Michelle Obama]

Munich's an awesome city.

[Andy]

Never been in Munich.

[Michelle Obama]

Awesome. Dude, I got wasted there. Yeah. And then we want to. We went to Hofbro House.

[Andy]

Like you finger wrestler.

[Michelle Obama]

No, we didn't do any finger wrestling. Not this time. But we did drink the biggest beers I ever seen in my life. And then we went on this thing called Mike's Bicycle Tour. There was this company. I don't know if it's still there. It's called Mike's Bicycle Tour. Look that up and see if they're still there. Mike's Bicycle Tour in Munich. But then, so they give you these beach cruisers and they basically take you on a tour through Munich. So me and my buddy, we got. Oh, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Mike's Bicycle Tour over there in Munich. We had a good time. So we went on the bicycle tour and we were already drunk. And it's like you go with like a group of people and you ride the bikes through the parks and. And the first stop was another beer house.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michelle Obama]

Like a. So we stopped, we drank more beer. I was already wasted. And then we rode some more and. Have you ever ridden a bike when you were just shit faced?

[Andy]

Can't say I have.

[Michelle Obama]

Okay. Yeah, you have. It's fun in it. Yeah, it's good time. So. So, dude, so. So the bike that we had were like beach cruisers.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Michelle Obama]

They had fenders on them. Okay. So like imagine like the silver fender on the back.

[Andy]

A nice little beach cruise.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

A little basket in the front.

[Michelle Obama]

Kind of didn't have basket, but same bike.

[Andy]

Same, same.

[Michelle Obama]

So I'm like, we're riding through the park and like we ride through this area of the park and there's these dudes surfing in the. In the. There's like this little river that it's got like a. It's got like a natural area for them to surf and it's pretty cool. And then we're riding through the park, dude. And, you know, there's, like, this woods, and, you know, we're riding through the woods, and me and my buddy Gavin, we're, like, trying to pop wheelies, and so I'm, like, trying to pop a wheelie, not really paying attention to, like, what's going on on the left or the right of me. And we hit in this open field, and there's people, bro. Like, hundreds of people on the left, hundreds of people on the right. And I finally got a wheelie, and the fender hit the ground, and I crashed.

[Andy]

Oh, all right.

[Michelle Obama]

But. But the. The wheel got up so I couldn't ride the bike.

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Michelle Obama]

So, like, right in front of all these people, like, and they're laughing because they see me eat, so I'm like, hurry up. I, like, try to ride the bike off. Won't ride. And then I grab the bike and start carrying it. And then I like, look. And everybody's naked. Yeah. And it was like we were in the section of the park where all the nudists were, so I had to, like, do the walk of shame with the bike faced, and there's all these naked people laughing at me.

[Andy]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, it's the only time in your entire life where there's going to be hundreds of naked people laughing at you.

[Andy]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle Obama]

You know what I'm saying? But anyway.

[Andy]

Geez.

[Michelle Obama]

That's my bicycle.

[Andy]

It sounds like a terrible nightmare.

[Michelle Obama]

No, it was pretty fun. It was fun.

[Andy]

That sounds like a terrible dream.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, well, these people were not attractive naked people. These are like bratwurst eating beer, drinking pretzel, downing beasts, rots up top and down below. Yeah. Yep.

[Andy]

Yeah, that was my.

[Michelle Obama]

That was my famous story from Munich. It's a great city, though.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. Lots of cool, man. And they revolve their culture around great beer and great food.

[Andy]

Oh, look. I mean, that looks like a good time.

[Michelle Obama]

It's. Dude, I'm telling you, it's really cool because you go to the beer. The Beer Gardens, and you sit at these, you know, long tables, and you don't know anybody else, but then, like, you make friends.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Michelle Obama]

So. And everybody's cool, dude. And, like, you learn about people and make some new friends and drink beer. It's cool, dude. It's not like here, where, like, people are like, you can't sit at our table. This is our table.

[Andy]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle Obama]

Like, everybody just sits with each other. Yeah, it's cool.

[Andy]

Anyway, I'm trying to keep German history alive, man. Yeah, that looks like a he he got some big hands.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. You know who do good at this is Chico.

[Andy]

Ch. Oh, dude, I would not want to finger wrestle Chico.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, me neither. I want nothing to do with them fingers. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy]

I do. Yeah. I do.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. All right.

[Andy]

Dude, these outfits are kind of cool, though.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah? Yeah. I don't know what they call. What do they call that? Later Hosen. Yeah, I thought that was Calvin's. Got a sweet beer garden outfit.

[Andy]

Really?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, Calvin right over there.

[Andy]

Really?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, he wears it on Oktoberfest. You ever seen it? No, it's. He looks badass in it.

[Andy]

Dude. Dude, I want. I want one.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, how do you want one, too?

[Andy]

How do we get one?

[Michelle Obama]

I don't know. Yeah, I want one, too, bro.

[Andy]

Bro, we should get one. Oh, yeah. It's pretty cool.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. Picture Calvin.

[Andy]

Oh, his is sick.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, I know, dude. It looks great.

[Andy]

Bro, I want one.

[Z]

Yeah, you can get it on online.

[Michelle Obama]

For, like, 20, 30 bucks and go to Beer garden.

[Andy]

Let's do it.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Probably go to Ab's Beer Garden. Oh, yeah, brother, be sick.

[Michelle Obama]

There's a Hofbro house across the river.

[Andy]

A who?

[Michelle Obama]

Hofbro House franchise beer garden. That's the. Like, the most famous beer garden in Munich. It's called the Hofbrauhaus.

[Andy]

Gotcha.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, I think Lowe's has one. Yeah, that's cool.

[Andy]

Anyway, well, we're gonna get some and do it. Where are we giving the finger blasting?

[Michelle Obama]

I'm. You know what? You know, finger blasting. Gotta always get thumbs up, right?

[Andy]

Even those that don't like finger blasting. Like, finger blasting.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. I'm just saying.

[Andy]

You know what I'm saying?

[Michelle Obama]

I give him props, you know? All the women are, like, looking at these dudes like, oh. Oh, God.

[Andy]

Oh, God. He's got the championship, y'all.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

He's the best. Finger blaster, don't you know?

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah, bro.

[Andy]

They.

[Michelle Obama]

We're over here. They're like, my husband does this, my husband does that. They're like my husband and won the finger Blast competition. I'm down with it. Cool Socks, too.

[Andy]

Yeah, the socks are sweet, man. All right, cool. Finger blasting.

[Michelle Obama]

All right.

[Andy]

Thumbs up. Yep, guys. Andy. That is all I have.

[Michelle Obama]

All right, guys, don't be a hoe.

[Andy]

Share the show.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze up Bow up stove Counting millions in a cold, bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.