875. Q&AF: Making Moves Without Pressure, Handling No Man’s Land & Cutting Distractions

Summary

REAL AF with Andy Frisella – Episode 875 Summary

Title: Q&AF: Making Moves Without Pressure, Handling No Man’s Land & Cutting Distractions
Host/Author: Andy Frisella
Release Date: May 5, 2025
Description: Entrepreneur Andy Frisella engages with his audience through Q&AF (Questions and Answers Forum), tackling pressing issues related to personal growth, business scaling, and overcoming societal distractions.

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Introduction & Show Structure (00:02 - 02:18)

Andy Frisella kicks off Episode 875 by welcoming listeners to REAL AF, emphasizing the show's commitment to "the realists" who seek to discard societal delusions and embrace authenticity. He introduces Q&AF, the segment where listeners submit questions via email, YouTube comments, or live calls. Andy outlines the various sub-segments within the show:

• CTI (Cruise the Internet): Discussion on current events, distinguishing truth from misinformation, and exploring solutions to global problems.

• Real Talk: Deep, professional conversations aimed at maintaining the podcast's high standards.

• 75 Hard Verses: Featuring individuals who have completed the 75 Hard program, sharing transformative experiences and strategies for mental toughness.

Notable Quote:

"We don’t run ads on the show. I don’t take money from other companies to tell me what I can and can’t say. And very simply, we need you to help us grow the show."
— Andy Frisella (00:42)

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Audience Engagement & Show Philosophy (02:18 - 06:00)

Andy emphasizes the importance of listener support over traditional advertising, urging the audience to help grow the show organically. He mentions his book, The Book on Mental [e-mail], which encapsulates the Live Hard program and delves deeper into the principles of mental strength.

Notable Quote:

"We are in control of our momentum by creating it ourselves."
— Andy Frisella (06:00)

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Q&AF Segment

1. Making Moves Without Pressure: Overcoming the Need for Rock Bottom (06:12 - 17:36)

Listener's Question:
A new listener expresses frustration over only achieving breakthroughs after reaching rock bottom—such as experiencing breakups, layoffs, or health scares. They seek advice on initiating growth during stable periods and cultivating clarity without waiting for collapse.

Andy’s Response:
Andy underscores the necessity of maintaining discipline regardless of circumstances. He explains that high-achieving individuals continue their proactive behaviors during good times, preventing complacency. Reflecting on his personal experiences, Andy advises:

• Continuous Action: Persist with the habits and actions that led to success, even when things are going well.

• Self-Awareness: Regularly audit personal behaviors to ensure ongoing progress.

• Responsibility: Accept that most outcomes are within one's control and refrain from attributing success or failure to external factors.

Notable Quotes:

"Truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions or the urgency depending on how they feel that day."
— Andy Frisella (08:30)

"You are the result of your own decisions and your own actions, even when you aren’t conscious of the actions that you’re taking."
— Andy Frisella (09:00)

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2. Handling No Man’s Land: Scaling a Cleaning Business and Changing Friendships (19:11 - 35:18)

Caller: O'Neal
O'Neal discusses his experience growing a commercial cleaning business since COVID, facing significant losses, and consequently distancing from his original friend group. He seeks advice on managing loneliness and maintaining momentum without sacrificing his new success.

Andy’s Response:
Andy reassures that distancing from old friends is a natural part of entrepreneurial growth. He highlights the importance of:

• Building a New Network: Form relationships with like-minded individuals who share similar goals and understand the entrepreneurial journey.

• Temporary Isolation: Accept that periods of loneliness are temporary and necessary for focusing on business growth.

• Selective Loyalty: Emphasize loyalty to oneself and new supportive networks rather than clinging to outdated connections.

Notable Quotes:

"As we grow, we are going to naturally disconnect with people who don’t grow and connect with people who are growing."
— Andy Frisella (28:13)

"Do not fucking do that to the people ahead of you. They will cut you right out."
— Andy Frisella (30:00)

O'Neal shares that his fiancée encouraged him to distance from his old friend group, leading to significant business momentum. Andy commends his fiancée's wisdom and reiterates the necessity of prioritizing personal and professional growth over past loyalties.

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3. Cutting Distractions: Scaling a Window Installation Business (36:02 - 45:11)

Listener's Question:
Cody, a 25-year-old residential window installation business owner, seeks guidance on navigating new challenges as his business scales, particularly transitioning to warehouse management. He inquires about finding suitable mentors or hiring expertise to manage unfamiliar aspects of his business growth.

Andy’s Response:
Andy advises Cody to seek mentors and professionals who have direct experience in the areas he needs to master. Key points include:

• Relevant Mentorship: Choose mentors who have successfully navigated the specific challenges Cody is facing, such as warehouse management.

• Hiring Experts: When encountering new business facets, hire skilled individuals (e.g., warehouse managers) to handle specialized tasks effectively.

• Vetting and Validation: Ensure that potential mentors or hires have proven track records by verifying their accomplishments and seeking references.

Notable Quotes:

"Find someone who's done what you want to do. Pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it."
— Andy Frisella (41:42)

"You have to make sure that you've called their references, see what they've actually done."
— Andy Frisella (42:06)

Andy emphasizes the importance of leveraging existing knowledge and expertise to accelerate business growth and avoid costly mistakes.

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4. Cutting Distractions: Dealing with Social Media Negativity (45:29 - 53:37)

Caller: Amira
Amira, a 21-year-old acting enthusiast, expresses frustration with the prevalence of inauthentic personas on social media that distort reality and inflate self-images. She seeks strategies to maintain focus and eliminate the negative energy generated by online disingenuousness.

Andy’s Response:
Andy acknowledges the pervasive issue of fake representation on social platforms and advises Amira to:

• Focus on Personal Craft: Direct energy towards honing her acting skills and personal development rather than getting distracted by others' façades.

• Positive Action: Transform negative feelings triggered by social media into productive activities that advance her career.

• Production Pivot: Utilize frustration as a catalyst for tangible progress, such as practicing scenes, engaging with mentors, or expanding her portfolio.

Notable Quotes:

"Focus on your own shit... move the fuck away from their, from their city, you know what I’m saying? I moved away for eight years and I was able to focus."
— Andy Frisella (53:13)

"Harness the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action."
— Andy Frisella (52:34)

Amira implements Andy's strategies, expressing renewed motivation and appreciation for the actionable advice provided.

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Key Insights & Conclusions

1. Maintain Discipline During Prosperity: Success should not breed complacency. Continual effort and adherence to proven strategies are crucial to sustain and build upon achievements.

2. Evolving Social Circles: As businesses grow, it's natural to outgrow old friendships that no longer align with one's ambitions. Building new, supportive networks is essential for continued success.

3. Strategic Mentorship and Hiring: Scaling a business involves new challenges that may require specialized knowledge. Investing in the right mentors and hiring skilled professionals can accelerate growth and prevent operational pitfalls.

4. Managing Social Media Distractions: Authenticity is rare on social platforms. Focusing on personal development and leveraging negative emotions into productive actions can help maintain focus and drive.

5. Ownership and Responsibility: Taking full responsibility for one’s actions and outcomes fosters a proactive mindset, essential for personal and professional growth.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Listener Support:

  "We don’t run ads on the show. I don’t take money from other companies to tell me what I can and can’t say."
  — Andy Frisella (00:42)

• On Continuous Action:

  "Truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions or the urgency depending on how they feel that day."
  — Andy Frisella (08:30)

• On New Friendships:

  "As we grow, we are going to naturally disconnect with people who don’t grow and connect with people who are growing."
  — Andy Frisella (28:13)

• On Relevant Mentorship:

  "Find someone who's done what you want to do. Pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it."
  — Andy Frisella (41:42)

• On Handling Social Media Negativity:

  "Harness the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action."
  — Andy Frisella (52:34)

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Final Thoughts

Episode 875 of REAL AF with Andy Frisella dives deep into the nuances of sustained personal and business growth. Through real-life questions and candid discussions, Andy provides pragmatic advice rooted in personal experience and a no-nonsense approach. Listeners are encouraged to maintain unwavering discipline, cultivate meaningful relationships, seek relevant mentorship, and transform negativity into productive endeavors. This episode serves as a valuable resource for entrepreneurs and individuals striving to achieve genuine success without succumbing to external pressures or distractions.

Transcript

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booty swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case close. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fitness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A, F. That's where you submit the questions or call in and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email these.

[DJ]

Questions into ask andy and andy4seller.com or.

[Andy Purcell]

You go on YouTube in the comments section and type your question right in there. Or you go down there under the YouTube video, click the link, and you can apply to call in live on the show. All right, I. Pretty cool. We like it. All right, so if you're new, which a lot of you guys are, every week we have shows within the show. Tomorrow we're gonna have cti, that's cruise the Internet. That's where we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true, speculate on what's not true, and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're gonna have real talk. We got more of those coming. We're gonna. We're gonna get serious now. We're gonna start staying on track. You know, we can't have a podcast without being professional about it because we're professional podcasters. So we got real talk, and then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses is where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes on the show, they talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to get their together. All right, if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the beginning phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And it's available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. Again, that's 2,08 on the audio feed only. It's not on YouTube because we were on audio for basically, you know, seven years before we ever jumped onto YouTube. So most of our listeners on audio, and we don't have it on YouTube. So that's what's up. What else? What am I missing here? There's a fee.

[DJ]

There is a fee.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. The fee is very simple. Oh, there's a book you can buy called the Book on Mental [e-mail]. it is the entire Live Hard program, plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it in your life. And then we have. What were you saying we had? I'm tired, bro. The fee. The fee is very simple. We don't run ads on the show. I don't take money from other companies to tell me what I can and can't say. And very simply, we need you to help us grow the show. All right, man. I know a lot of you. We have a massive, massive, massive audience on audio, and we're getting there on YouTube. But, guys, please do us a favor and help us grow the show, all right? Don't be a hoe. All right? So what's up, man?

[DJ]

Monday morning.

[Andy Purcell]

Monday morning?

[DJ]

Monday morning. Getting to the warriors, man.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. Mm.

[DJ]

What movie is that from? Warriors? Oh, that's. That's the name of the movie.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. I never seen that one.

[DJ]

I've never seen it.

[Andy Purcell]

I've never seen it. I'm not surprised you haven't seen it. Is it good? What is it? Is that basketball movie?

[DJ]

Futuristic gangsters, man.

[Andy Purcell]

What do you. I don't know if I like those. Those, like, sci fi future gangster movies. Did you guys see that movie that's out now with Brokeback Mountain? Oh, yeah, I saw you were in it. The sequel. Yeah.

[DJ]

Just broke.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. Oh, man. What's that movie out right now with Tom Hardy? It's on Netflix.

[DJ]

Oh, no, it's not Mobs.

[Andy Purcell]

Anyway, I don't know the name of.

[DJ]

It, but I like to. Tom Hardy.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, I do too, but the movie sucks.

[DJ]

Did it?

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it's terrible. It's like just this. Just. I don't know. Whatever, man. Anyway, yeah, that's neither here nor there.

[DJ]

Yeah, we got warriors lined up.

[Andy Purcell]

We got warriors lined up to call into the show today. So let's. Let's get started, man.

[DJ]

Yeah, let's get started. Won't be a phone call. We got right in. There's another Warrior, though. You got a new listener.

[Andy Purcell]

Oh, really?

[DJ]

A new listener?

[Andy Purcell]

Are they new? Are they happy or are they angry?

[DJ]

No, they're happy.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, let's get some of these angry people to call in. Let's get the angry people to call in.

[DJ]

On cti, I did have a Batman. Somebody. Batman reached out.

[Andy Purcell]

Batman, yeah.

[DJ]

Filled out a thing.

[Andy Purcell]

What do you send the fucking bat signal to you?

[DJ]

No, I mean, literally, what he was talking about.

[Andy Purcell]

He's what he says.

[DJ]

Yeah. Something about Gotham needs saving or some shit.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay, yeah, so he's a weirdo.

[DJ]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Purcell]

Got it. All right. Batman.

[DJ]

Yeah, we get him every now and then.

[Andy Purcell]

Be careful what you say about Batman. Why fuck you up? It's Batman.

[DJ]

Batman can't fight.

[Andy Purcell]

What are you talking about, bro? Batman's the ultimate fighter. He's not even a superhero. He doesn't even have special powers. He kicks people's asses. He trained in the fucking. At the top of a mountain peak with, like, Tibetan monks that know all the secret sauce. Yeah, and he became badass, bro. I'm going to be Batman one day. You guys won't know it, though.

[DJ]

Could be you, Batman. I mean, so, like, is that Batman? Wait, who said this years ago?

[Andy Purcell]

No. Well, no one gives me credit for the things I say anyway, so what the. Does it matter? Everybody just acts like I didn't say it. Like, I say all this, wait years in front of all these influencers, and then somehow they get the credit for saying it.

[DJ]

Yeah, it happens.

[Andy Purcell]

Joe and I were talking last night that maybe they get the credit for saying it because they don't curse the way I curse.

[DJ]

Oh, is it the cursing?

[Andy Purcell]

I don't know. But, like, all these people that they're talking about, I said this years ago.

[DJ]

Yeah. And they say it just without.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, see, that's why people gotta. You guys gotta have our backs, bro. Like, you need to straighten these people out. Be like, bro, these boys been saying this way before you.

[DJ]

With cursing.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, with colorful language.

[DJ]

Colorful language, color and everything else.

[Andy Purcell]

That's right. And a diverse crew.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's it. All right, well, let's make some people better today.

[Andy Purcell]

All right, let's do it.

[DJ]

I got some good ones for you, man. Let's knock them out. We got question number one. Hey, Andy, I'm a new listener to your content, and I literally can't get enough. I came across Your content on TikTok, and you are the real deal. Here's my question. Every breakthrough I've ever had came right after I hit rock bottom. After the breakup, the layoff, the health scare. I don't understand why it takes me falling apart to finally take action. Why can't I make moves when things are calm? How do I learn to grow from clarity instead of collapse?

[Andy Purcell]

Okay, that. First of all, this is a great question because many, many, many people struggle with this. They. They. They think that when things are going good, that they've caught some sort of, like, vibe or, you know, they've caught Some good energy and things are just going good. And yeah, that does happen automatically sometimes through your life. But very high achieving, successful people, they don't. They don't allow themselves to fade back to the crumbles. You know what I'm saying? So usually what's happening here is that if you look backwards and you see where you are today and you look back for the 30, 60, 90 days before you are in a good spot, you will see that you are behaving in a way that produced this good spot in some way, shape or form. Okay, you might not have been doing everything right, but you were doing something right. And it led to a position where things felt like they were going well for you. And that might be the previous 90 days, that might be the previous year. It depends on how high or how low you are. But what happens is, is that when things start to curve up and we start to get to, you know, where things are good, and we start looking around and we're like, man, everything's going good. You know, the actions that we take are not the same as the actions that we take to dig ourselves out of the shit. All right? So what we have to realize and what this person needs to realize is that you are the result of your own decisions and your own actions, even when you aren't conscious of the actions that you're taking. And so what we need to develop here is a level of awareness to where, when you feel like things are going well, you should automatically start to do more of the things that got you to that point. That's the. That's the opposite of what most people do. Most people get in a position where they're making money, things are going well. You know, maybe they're at the top of their fitness game and then they're like, oh, everything's good. And they stop doing the things that got them there, and they start to drift down, you know, in. In success, in business, in your career, even as an. As an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur. What happens is, is, you know, when you're at the bottom, bro, you don't. You're like, my life sucks. I'm not making any money. My relationships are terrible. I'm not happy. I'm depressed. I gotta do something different to get myself out of this. And so you'll start to take an active role in your life that starts to produce an incremental increase towards the way that you're trying to go. But when you're at the top or the perceived top, like, oh, things are great. I'm Making what I want to make people let off the gas and they don't continue to do the things that moved them out of the place. When, in reality, when you do find yourself, when things are well, that's where you really need to audit yourself. Because our natural reaction as humans is to get comfortable and to be like, oh, everything's good. Things are going well. And when you don't have the awareness to understand that you're in control of your own momentum by creating it yourself, it feels like, oh, the universe or, you know, the mystical powers that be are somehow punishing me. Or I. You know, there's a. There's. We start to, like, throw the responsibility off to other things. And so what we need to happen here for this person is we need to understand that we are in control and whatever life we are living now is a result of our actions in the past. Okay? So we see this a lot in business owners where, you know, things start to get well and they start to think, I'm so successful, everything I touch is going to be great. Doesn't matter if I show up anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm early or if I stay late. It doesn't matter if I do these meetings. It doesn't matter in fitness, if I eat well because I'm already in shape, I can have a couple days off. I can go on a vacation. And then what happens is you start to go back down. Okay? And this is totally within your control. This is with. In every single one of you guys are in control of this process. And so when you find yourself when things are going good, that's the time to really audit what you're actually doing. Because when things are good, we don't have that desperation or that urgency to do the things that dug us out of the low place. And so what happens is people tend to go up and then they go down, and then they go up, and then they go down, and then they go up and then they go down and they live their whole life like that. Truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions or the urgency depending on how they feel that day. They execute no matter what. When things are good, they come with the same urgency as when things were shitty and they had to get themselves out of it. And so what that creates is a curve that instead of cresting and going back down, it just continues to go up. All right? And this is what successful people do. And it just really takes some awareness and some understanding that we are in control of our momentum. If you are In a terrible place right now. If your life sucks right now and you're waiting around for things to get better, that's not what you should be doing. That's not how it works. You need to take action. You need to control what you could control, which is your food, what you put in your mind, how you move your body, how much water you drink, who you associate with. The things that are in your control, you need to execute on those in a positive manner, just like this, you know, program that somebody developed that I might have heard of, you know, called 75 hard. And then continue to do that even when things get good. And that's the key to avoiding these ups and downs. You have to continue to get better. You have to continue to come with urgency. You have to continue to control what it is that you can control. And you will avoid the dips. Now, will you still have a little bit of a dip sometimes? Yeah, because there's always things that we're dealing with that aren't in our control. But the reality is, is that, you know, I think off my experience, you know, 80 to 90% of the result that we have in our lives is in our control. Okay? We can be fit. No matter what you're saying, there's very.

[DJ]

Little that's outside of correct. Right, right.

[Andy Purcell]

And most people think that everything's outside of their control. And so it's a matter of awareness and ownership, okay? Because if you are controlling the things that you control, you can be intelligent, you can be fit, you can be productive, you can get done. You can be around the right people, you can avoid negativity, you can avoid things that. That damage your progress, like maybe alcohol or. Or whatever your vices might be. We are in control of those things. And so the ultimate power that someone has to really cultivate and harness is the power of discipline so that they can adhere when things are not convenient, but also adhere when things are really good. And nobody talks about that because they think of it as a journey. Like, once I get there, everything will be good. No, they won't, because you're going to stop doing everything that you do and you're going to fall back on your face, which is what's exactly what this person is describing.

[DJ]

Is there a silver lining here that this person can look at in the sense of like, you know, having to dig yourself out the hole? Well, you know, you got grit, you got some. You know, I'm saying you can. You can dig.

[Andy Purcell]

Listen, man, everybody has problems. Yeah. Everybody gets low. Everybody gets their ass beat it's called fucking life, all right? And you have to understand that when you get punched in the fucking face and you're at the bottom, it's probably because you're not controlling what it is you could have been controlling the whole entire time. If you're honest with yourself and you audit yourself and you tell yourself exactly the way it is, you're a realist about it, you will see that the things that got you to the high point, you are no longer doing all right. And so you have to do them. And people get really humble when things are bad, and they get really full of their ego when things are good. So. So when they're humble, they're looking around, they're saying, oh, shit, fuck, what do I do? I don't know what to shit. This worked for me two years ago, so I'm going to do this again, which is the natural human response, okay? But then when they get to the top, because we're stupid humans, we don't realize that we have to continue to do these things that got us going in the right direction in the first place. So we're always going to face hardship. We're always going to have things not go our way. But the truth of the matter is, is that you can minimize the dips and keep the progress going by just understanding that we are in control. And. And it's not up to, you know, the outside circumstances or the conditions or things that might happen. Bro, things happen, okay? You're going to lose a job, you're going to lose a partner. People are going to die, you're going to get sick, your dog's going to pass. These are things. This is called fucking life, man. It's not the end of your world, and it's not your identity. So as long as you can maintain the things that you're in control of, you will be able to take those hits and continue to move forward. Now, might you flatten out when you go through a hard time? You get sick or, you know, your family gets sick, or you deal with something serious, yeah, you might flatten out. But if you continue to control the things by developing discipline and developing the ability to adhere to a program which is exactly what live hard and 75 hard teach you. You will be able to avoid these big crashes that seem devastating. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Absolutely, man. Absolutely, man. I love it. I love it, man.

[Andy Purcell]

It's a. Listen, it's just an awareness that we are in control of our outcomes because the things we are in control of produce the majority of our outcomes. So it's very simple if you think about it like that. Most people don't want to take responsibility because it's easier to say this happened or that happened or it's not fair. It's this or that or this. Bro, you guys are all full of. You're not doing it. If I went to anybody, any on the planet and they said, oh, it's not fair, My life sucks. This, that, and I audited their last six months, I promise you, they have not been in control of things they can control. That's reality. And anybody who says different is full of that is. That is a complete lie. I'm not talking about extreme circumstances. There's always nuance. There's always things. Your whole family gets killed in a car crash. Okay, that's fucking. That's a nuanced thing. That's an asterisk. Right? But what I'm saying is, is that in most cases that's true. You're not doing what the fuck you could be. So you have no right to complain about it, bro.

[DJ]

That's so real. To your point, though, it's also crazy. Like it. That reflection only comes when you're down low, man. Yeah, it only comes when you're low.

[Andy Purcell]

That's because you're. When you're at high, you think you're the shit.

[DJ]

If you're honest with yourself, it's when you. I got fired. Well, why did you backpedal it? Let's go back a little bit. Yeah, you wasn't doing your shit.

[Andy Purcell]

That's right, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's right.

[Andy Purcell]

And you thought nobody was noticing and you thought that you could skate by and this and that because you were at one time really good. You know that happens all the time, bro. Listen, I cannot tell you how many times I've seen that happen in business where the best performing employee, the best performing business operator thought that because they were great at one time, that they had unlimited greatness in front of them and they stopped sharpening their blade, they stopped improving. They stopped controlling and doing the things they can do. And then. Then they're surprised when their business goes out of business or they fucking lose their job. Bro, no one gives a fuck what you did yesterday. I hate to break this to you, I really do. The world doesn't care what you did. It only cares what you're doing now. And you don't fucking have to be a rocket science to understand that. It's just reality. The world does not give a fuck what you did, Even if it was Yesterday. They care what you're doing now. What result are you producing today? Okay? And that is. That's reality. That's real. That's how the world judges people. It is it, right? I don't know, but that's how it is.

[DJ]

I love it, man. I love it. Well, let's get to our first call, guys. We got a. A first call in here. This is O'Neal. DJ, what's going on, J. O'Neal, what's the word, my man?

[O'Neal]

Hey, man, I was awaiting your call nervously.

[DJ]

Oh, what you nervous for, man?

[Andy Purcell]

What's up, O'Neal? How you doing, bro?

[O'Neal]

Oh, Andy, it's an honor and a privilege to speak to you.

[Andy Purcell]

Ah, bro, it's all good, man. What can we help you with, brother?

[O'Neal]

Well, I've been listening to you consistently for 10 years, and I'm saying I'm a huge fan. I love the show. Share it with everybody I know. Everybody in my bloodline knows about you.

[Andy Purcell]

O'Neal ain't no hoe. I love that, bro. I love that, man. Thank you so much.

[O'Neal]

Oh, thank you for all you do. So, real quick, my question is. So I have a commercial cleaning business, and we're growing substantially.

[Andy Purcell]

All right.

[O'Neal]

We started in Covid. Really ballsy move, very risky, but we took. We went in balls deep and went in, and we've been really good at it.

[Andy Purcell]

That's the only way to go in, isn't it?

[O'Neal]

You are. You're 100 right on that one.

[DJ]

It's unique because not everybody can do that, you know what I'm saying?

[Andy Purcell]

Like you, dj.

[O'Neal]

All right. Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

All right, so what we got, man?

[O'Neal]

Yeah, so I was doing. I'm doing my cleaning business. You know, fast forward three years in, I lose the majority of my accounts. You know, covet, slows down, Nobody wants cleaning, etc. Etc. So I'm here in the end of my ropes, and I, like you say, zero options mentality, double down. I say I'm not going to quit. My income has doubled consistently for the last three years, which was great for where I started off at, but in the process, I let go of my previous friend group. You had an episode about this recently regarding loyalty to friend groups, and I took that to the heart. I. I slowly started to distance myself from my friend group, and I literally have, like, no friends I'm afraid to use to lose the momentum that I have currently in order to seek friendships. What's your advice on that?

[Andy Purcell]

Okay, well, first of all, this is completely normal, dude. Every single person who's ever built Anything relevant goes through this. Okay? We start out at the beginning with our friend group. How old are you, bro?

[O'Neal]

I'm 31. Where am I? DJ and I are on the same age.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, you're older than DJ. You're probably DJ's dad.

[DJ]

Okay?

[O'Neal]

I think we might have the same back.

[Andy Purcell]

So. So check this out, dude. This is exactly the process of. It's totally normal. It's. First of all, there's. I just want you to know this is normal. I've been through it. And you're going to go through it multiple times on your journey. Okay, so here's how it happens. You start out, you have a group of friends, and that group of friends is based around. Usually, you know, you just know them. They. They grew up in the neighborhood, or you went to college, or maybe you went to high school or whatever, man. And usually it's just social friends. It's like you drink together, you smoke together, you hang out together, you do fun shit together. And when you start to get ambition and you want more for yourself, when you first say it, all these guys like, oh, yeah, man, that's awesome. And some will say, well, dude, are you sure? Are you. Are you sure you want to do that? And it creates this weird dynamic because you're doing something that all of them aren't doing. And so what happens is when you start to go down the path, the nature of business is so difficult. It takes so much time that people just don't understand it if they've never done it. So then they start to get negative and they start to say, well, don't forget where you came from. And, hey, you know, I think, O'Neill, you're, you know, you're getting a little too big for your britches. And they say stupid ass, and it becomes. It becomes a drag, okay? And then us as entrepreneurs, we get blamed for it because we're trying to better our lives and we have to remove ourselves from this negativity because we only have so much energy. And what happens is the. Our old friend group. While we still might love them and we still might care about them, and we might always be cool with them. Like, I am so cool with everybody that I've ever had as a friend in the past. But we might not talk every day, we might not go to dinner, we might not hang out, I still love them, but I don't have the time or the energy or the will to waste my time because I have big vision, big goals, and that naturally creates this place of isolation and what I call no man's land. And so there's. There's good news here. The good news is, is that it's temporary, okay? So what's going to happen is the more success that you have with your company, you're going to start to meet some of these business owners who, you know, you're doing these cleaning services for, and you're going to have more in common. All right? These guys are hustling, these guys are working. These guys have big goals. And your new friend group. And by the way, this takes time. This doesn't happen in one day, okay? This could be a year. This could be two years. It depends on how hard you're pressing to move forward. But you'll find a new grand, a new friend group that has commonality, shared interests, and understanding of what you're doing. Because think about this. If you go back and, you know, all your friends are talking about what's going on with the. The sports game, they don't have anything. You don't have anything to talk about with them anymore. So we just kind of grow apart. And, dude, that's part of life. But you end up with this new friend group who has all these things in common with you. And by the way, because they're on the same mission as you, they don't drag you back, bro. They will actually encourage you. They will teach you things, they will connect you, they will push you forward, and it becomes a much more valuable and fulfilling experience to be around friends who share the same goals and missions. And the cool thing about these friends is, you know, there's a saying that I like to use is busy people. Understand busy people. So, you know, they're not getting mad if you don't show up to the dinner. And they're not getting mad if you don't text them back. And they're not saying, oh, you know, O'Neill, you're. You're get. You getting too full of yourself, dude. You need to humble yourself. They know that, like, when we hang, we hang. And if, you know, we text each other and we don't hear back for a couple days, it's no big deal. And by the way, I'm going to stop right here and remind all of you guys that if you are a young entrepreneur and you text someone and they don't text you back, and then you. You hit them with, oh, I thought we were still, bro. Nobody that's successful deals with that shit. That is peasant behavior. If someone texts me and then I don't text them back, and then they hit Me with, oh, dude, what, like some kind of guilt trip? I will never talk to them again. They're not my kind of people. So if you're a young guy or young girl, remember that. Do not fucking do that to the people ahead of you. They will cut you right out. But anyway, when you find this new friend group, they're going to push you forward. They're not going to drag you back. And if you continue to go down the path and you continue to grow, you're going to go through the same process again, all right? Because you're going to outgrow that friend group and. And then you're going to go back to being in the middle where you feel like you don't really have any friends. And then you're going to find another leveled up friend group who can now associate with you more. So I've done this number of times through my life where the different stages of business, I had a different circle of friends, and that's just the way it goes, bro. So you have to understand, dude, this is normal. It has nothing to do with you. It's called life. And as we grow, we are going to naturally disconnect with people who don't grow and connect with people who are growing. And, bro, let me tell you something to help you deal with this. It's not like they couldn't have went with you. They could have went with you, okay? So I know that if you listen to my show, I already know that you're probably a really good dude and you probably care a lot, and it probably makes you feel guilty and feel bad that you're moving on from this friend group. But just remember, they could have went with you. They could have went down that path, and they chose not to. And you have no obligation. And you should not feel guilty about taking care of yourself, your family, your future family if you don't have one and handling business, period. So what do you think, bro?

[O'Neal]

That's exactly what I needed to hear. Because my. My fiance was telling me this for years. She's like, distance yourself from this friend group. They're holding you back, they're holding you back. And no, me being a loyal guy, I'm like, no, these are my boys. We difference since for 14, 15. No, these are my boys. You know, they care about me. And she told me, once you let this friend grow, you will get everything you want in business, dude. Exactly what she said.

[Andy Purcell]

That's a smart woman.

[O'Neal]

As soon as I distance myself, as soon as I distance myself, it's like, I Was trying to swim with an anchor on my. My feet as soon as I distance myself. In fact, I was on a speedboat.

[Andy Purcell]

That's right, bro. That. She's very smart woman. It's a good thing you. You're probably, probably a good thing that you're marrying her. Look, bro, let me tell you something, okay? As men, we all handle and feel strongly about being loyal. That's part of being a good man is you're loyal to your friends, you're loyal to your family. But remember, dude, they need to be loyal to you too. And they could have went, or at least they could have supported you. I'm friends with a number of people back from the old days who are just very supportive. Maybe they didn't go down the path, but they supported and pushed you. And here's how you could tell they're not your fucking friends, dude, when they start trying to gaslight you and guilt you because you're no longer loyal and you're no longer, you know, one of the dudes and you forgot where you came from. The motherfuckers ain't your friends, dude. Those dudes will hold you back. They will ruin your life. They will up success. And let me tell you the number one thing that ruins especially men's business aspirations. It's our feeling that we all naturally have of loyalty. It's the code, right? Like, we all live by. We all know the code, right? Hey, these are my boy. Like he's saying, these are my boys. I'm loyal to them. Listen, you could still be loyal to them and be move. You could still show up at 3am if we got to bury a body, bro, you know what I'm saying? Like, but, but dude, don't let them leverage that against you. Because the number one thing that I've seen really hurt young men, especially because I think men and women are a little different in this way. I don't. I don't think women operate on that same code exactly the same way that we do. We sort of define our, our manhood by like how real we are and how loyal we are. And so that's like always a touch point of sensitivity for men. And, and dude, I've seen more people ruin their business because they're loyal to the wrong people that either get them in trouble or, or pull them down or get them involved in some. Like, bro, we think about this. We see this in sports all the time. We see young men come out of college and still hang with their old dudes when they've got $50 million in the bank. Next thing we know, they're out of the league and they're in jail. So, dude, you got to let it go, man. It's just reality. And your. Your fiance is 100% correct. So.

[O'Neal]

Yeah, actually listen to her earlier.

[Andy Purcell]

That's all right, man. Listen, dude, sometimes it takes, you know, it's like, you know, when you listen to your parents versus listening to, like, your uncle, right? Like, you'll listen to your uncle, but the same shit. Yeah, that's right.

[DJ]

Same. So, dude, hey, real quick, O'Neal, I just saw. I just looked you up on IG, bro. We could be related, bro. Just listen like, like, bro, just a little bit.

[Andy Purcell]

Let's see real talk, Andy, to take.

[O'Neal]

Take a look, I think.

[DJ]

Dude, look like, listen.

[Andy Purcell]

We do kind of look alike.

[O'Neal]

You sure? You're sure your father's not Dominican?

[Andy Purcell]

I don't know. I don't know.

[DJ]

I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure.

[Andy Purcell]

Well, Neo, bro, I hope that helps you, man.

[O'Neal]

Oh, yeah, you help tremendously. And I listen every single day, and I do appreciate taking the time. Your company is great.

[Andy Purcell]

Thank you.

[O'Neal]

Also, your PB&J first phone bar. It's amazing.

[Andy Purcell]

Thank you, bro.

[O'Neal]

I've gained like £10 because of it.

[Andy Purcell]

Thank you, dude. We. We're. We're blessed to have really good people that work here. I'm. It's. It's. I'm living the dream here with these guys. So they work really hard to do everything, you know, that we can do for people, and it's really good to hear that. I appreciate it.

[O'Neal]

They have a great leader to guide them the same way, the right way.

[Andy Purcell]

Well, thank you, bro. Do my best, Andy.

[O'Neal]

Thank you. So thank you so much for your time, and I appreciate you, dj. Thanks. I'll see you at the family reunion.

[Andy Purcell]

Thank you, brother. We'll talk to you soon.

[O'Neal]

All right, take care, guys.

[Andy Purcell]

All right. See ya.

[DJ]

That's awesome.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, that was cool. Look, dude, that's a hard thing, man. That's a hard thing because, you know. You know how it is, dude.

[DJ]

It is touchy for us, dude.

[Andy Purcell]

Bro, exactly.

[DJ]

You know, I will say, this is a rare thing that's actually happened to me recently, like one of my friend groups I got. Because I don't have many friends, right? But, you know, I'm your friend. Well, you're my friend. Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Purcell]

Madot's your friend, huh?

[DJ]

No, Madot's not my friend.

[Andy Purcell]

Z shines your friend again.

[DJ]

These shines and my homie yeah. You know, I'm saying no, but like, I had, I had a similar situation where it's like, I mean, dude, like we're just on different paths, but it was almost like what was understood to need to be explained. Like, it wasn't this big. Like, oh, you call me back. Like, bro, we just kind of, you know.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And we both just kind of like, we, we not to it, you know, like. I understand.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it is what it is, man.

[DJ]

It's cool.

[Andy Purcell]

Listen, dude, this is something that, okay, when you're young, a lot of guys can relate to this with their families. Right? Like when you're young and you got all these dude friends and, and then they have a, they get a wife and they start to have kids and they don't have the time to hang out and you, you grow a little apart. But that doesn't mean like, dude, I just reconnected with a buddy of mine who I hadn't seen Matt Markway, okay. Who runs a really fucking awesome business here in St. Louis. They, they build super high end homes and I had him build my duck cooperation, which that's not something that they do, but he did it because we're friends. We hadn't talked to each other in like 20 years, bro. And we saw each other and it was just like it was yesterday. But that's because he's been living his life, bro. He's been doing. And I've been doing my. And now that we've done our, you know, we're still doing it, but now that we've gotten through the, the, you know, the, the part of like building, you know, we're able to hang out, dude. And it's just, it's just the way it is, man. It's one of the greatest things that happened to me this last year is reconnecting with him, dude, and see that.

[DJ]

They'Re, they have, they did go down the path.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Just different.

[Andy Purcell]

But dude, it's not even that. It's just like his kid, like, he's got a, he's got a, a son who's a stud playing football in Nebraska. Mac Markway, like, bro, dude, it's just life, man.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

You know, I didn't see him and I'm like, hey, why didn't you talk to me for the last 20 years?

[DJ]

What the.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, what was that about? You're not even real. You don't fucking care about me.

[DJ]

Like, dude, give me your best friend car.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, dude. So it's just called life, man. And it's hard, especially as an entrepreneur because there's jealousy feelings and there's, you know, you start making a little more money, you start driving a little nicer car, you start dealing with a little bit of jealousy from the people. Sometimes a lot comes in, you know, and then, dude, sometimes those people from the old days will start talking and start trying to sabotage you. And dude, you got to get away from them, you know what I'm saying? One of the best things that entrepreneurs can honestly is like move the fuck away from their, from their city, you know what I'm saying? I moved away for eight years and I was able to focus and I don't think I would have been able to do that if I stayed here.

[DJ]

That's real hot, man. That's real.

[Andy Purcell]

Love it, man.

[DJ]

Let's keep moving. Let's got another question for you. Next question. We got a write in question. This question is question number three. Hey, Andy. My name is Cody and I am 25 years old and I started a residential window installation business four years ago. Now, I've heard you say 24, 25.

[Andy Purcell]

25.

[DJ]

Started when he was 21.

[Andy Purcell]

Cool.

[DJ]

Yeah, I've heard you say it's good to find a mentor who has gone through the path I wish to go as my business continued to grow. I now work very close with my mentor and our businesses continue to grow at a rate I didn't really see possible. How is it that we can continue to navigate through the storm when both my mentor and I are at stages in the game that we've never seen or never been? We recently got a warehouse and neither of us know anything about running a warehouse. Our spectrum of the game has changed and now we're take, we take on much different tasks than before. In that specific case, would I just find some sort of warehouse manager? Like, do I figure it out on my own? Do I reach out to competition? Please help and thanks for your time.

[Andy Purcell]

Well, first of all, bro, different journeys require different guides, okay? You're not going to learn from somebody who has never done the thing that you're wanting to do. This is why I talk about buying courses and hiring these Internet people to teach you how to build a company when they've never built one. All right? They don't fucking know. They now they might say they know, but they don't. They know how to make a funnel and why and pretend there's something and then get you to buy it and it doesn't get you any value. So again, like I say, often make sure that you vet whoever it is that they have actually done the things that you want to do. And in the beginning, you will find people who. Who have done, you know, part of it, and you can learn from those people. Absolutely. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with paying for that. It's a. If I could pay to save fucking 10 years of my life, I'm fucking paying whatever it costs. That's 10 years. You know what I'm saying? So when you get to a point where maybe that first mentor you've exhausted, which is, by the way, that's awesome. That's what you want to do. Great, right? But now it sounds like you both need a new guide for the journey. Okay? And so you have to find someone who has done these things before and, you know, can coach you through the process. That's just part of understanding that there's levels to it. And, you know, the guy that you might be learning from the beginning and sometimes, bro, the guy that you might be learning from the beginning is so far away from where the fuck you are that, like, he has a hard time getting back to that because he's forgotten those things or they're so second nature that he forgets that they're relevant. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

So what's that saying? It's like you forgot more than you know, as it go.

[Andy Purcell]

Like, Well, I mean, dude, you know.

[DJ]

More than you forget or something.

[Andy Purcell]

No, no, no. You're talking about, like, I've forgotten more than you'll ever know.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Purcell]

Right. Yeah. I mean, like, it happened. That does happen. Like, you're not gonna have Elon Musk come back and teach you how to fucking make a funnel, you know what I'm saying? Or how to. You know what I'm saying? So there is. There's that. All right? But here's. Here's the other thing, dude. Like, so my first thing is, is that it's smart to use a mentor. It's smart to invest in your education. You just got to make sure that the person that you're learning from has done the thing that you want to do. A lot of people say that. I'm like, they will say I'm totally against courses and this and that. No, I'm against liars. I'm against people who fucking make shit up or pretend to be something that they aren't, which is a lot of the Internet right now. And it's also very hard to tell if you don't know the questions to ask. But I can tell you, all you gotta do is say, have you has what? What have they built? What have they done? How have they done it? How long have they been doing it? How many customers they served? You know, what's their product? Can I order the product? What's. What's it like to use their product? Right. Do I recognize it? Do I not recognize it? Have I ever heard of this? You know, all these entrepreneurs on the Internet seem to have these secret businesses that no one can see and have never fucking done business with. I used to have this and I used to have. Okay, prove it. Prove that to me, all right? The Internet is full of liars. And it's very, very important that we understand that not everybody has a good heart. There's lots of unethical people. With that being said, find someone who's doing what you want to do, learn from them, model their behavior, pay them to teach you, and you'll be on the right path. Now, the second part to that is when you scale. Because we don't know something doesn't mean that there aren't positions that you can pay someone where they know it very well. So if you were to hire a experienced warehouse manager, they're going to know what it is that you don't know and do it for you for a fee. So you just have to find the right person that knows these things and you have to vet them and you have to make sure, just like I said about the coaches, you have to make sure they've done it. You have to make sure, you know, you have to call their references, see what they've actually done. And you know, our distribution and fulfillment center here, I didn't set that up. My Mike and Brian set it up. Right? So, like these. These are guys that had the knowledge that I didn't have, and then they went and build it, and I learned the knowledge as we went. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

How important is that too, though?

[Andy Purcell]

Like, I think it's very important to.

[DJ]

Know a little bit about.

[Andy Purcell]

Anytime I've ever not learned enough, I've gotten taken advantage of. So you have to, you know, know enough to not get taken advantage of. So. And that's easier than ever, right? There's lots of information available for free about literally fucking anything. Go on YouTube and see a video on how to do anything.

[DJ]

I can do open heart surgery, bro.

[Andy Purcell]

Dude, I'm just telling you, you can learn. Well, you can learn enough about it to where you can have an intelligent conversation.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Purcell]

Right. So there are no secrets like that anymore because everybody's making content. There's much More information available. The point is find. Find someone who's done it before. I could answer this in one, one fucking sentence. Find someone who's done it before. Pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it.

[DJ]

That's what it comes down to.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it's very simple. I love it, man. Just because it's a complex problem to you doesn't mean it's a complex problem. You see what I'm saying? Like, if I were to say, hey, I need to code. Well, I do know how to code now, but if I were to say I need to code a fucking basic funnel website three months ago, I wouldn't know how to do that. It would be mystical to me. But fucking anybody who knew the shit could do it in a fucking hour.

[DJ]

Well, when you say too, there's an energy component to that too. Like, is it worth your energy actually doing?

[Andy Purcell]

Yes, absolutely. That's another thing you have to understand where your energy makes the most sense. We call that working on the business versus working in the business. Okay? So he's growing to a point with his window company, right? Residential window installation, to where, you know, he's not understanding about warehousing and things like that. You want to know enough, but you want to focus on the growth of the business, the running of the employees, the big picture thing, and you want to hire professionals to handle those things for you. And you might not be able to afford it, so you might have to do it for a while. Like when I first started in my warehouse, dude, I was packing boxes. Me and sales, Chris, Jason, we went out there every day at 4:00 and packed boxes. There was a time at first form for years where it was me, Sal, Jason, Will, Aaron and a couple other dudes in the backpacking box at 4:00 every day. Okay? And then with the warehouse guys, because we, we, that's what we did. And I, funny enough, those were some of my favorite days of business. But simple problem to solve, dude, really is. And just because it's mystical to you, let me tell you something, dude. I fucked my whole timeline up by not learning this lesson. This one lesson will save you years, okay? I didn't open my second store until we were six years in. And you know why? Because I kept telling myself, they're going to steal from me. How do I, how do I get, how do I get someone to work for me? You know, they're, they're probably going to do this and that and this. Guess what? They did all that. They Stole. They. My up. You know, not them specifically, but along the way. That happens.

[DJ]

It's gonna happen.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. So, like, these fears are irrational, unavoidable. Yes. And. And, dude, had I just opened it the third year we were in, we'd be that much more ahead. But it. I lost three years of my life asking myself and struggling with the same question that he is. Good Lord. Yeah. Three years of my life. That one. The answer to that question that I just gave is worth three fucking years of my life. That's what it took me to learn it.

[DJ]

That's crazy.

[Andy Purcell]

So what's that worth? Yeah, what's three years of your life worth? You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

That's real, man. That's fucking real, man. Well, guys, got one more question. We got call in. Another call. Oh, we do call in. So let's give. I hope I pronounced this right. Amira.

[Andy Purcell]

Amir Mira. We'll hear it.

[DJ]

Yeah, we'll figure it out. Let's give her a call.

[Andy Purcell]

I'll let you do the awkward part of figuring it out. Yeah, go ahead. My guy. Hey, Andy. Nope, it's DJ Andy.

[Amira]

Can you hear me? I'm in my car. I got the carplay on.

[DJ]

We can hear you just fine. Can you hear us? Okay.

[Amira]

Awesome.

[DJ]

All right, so me and Andy made a bet. I'm trying to pronounce your name correctly. Amira.

[Amira]

No, damn it.

[Andy Purcell]

Amira.

[Amira]

Yes, it's Amira. I dare you guys to try to pronounce the last name. I don't know if I should even share that.

[DJ]

I don't even think it's there. It's fine.

[Andy Purcell]

So what's going on? How are you?

[Amira]

I'm good. I'm even better talking to y'all. This is so nice. I love the new format.

[Andy Purcell]

Oh, thank you.

[Amira]

Yeah, so I don't want to eat up too much of your time. I appreciate, you know, you reaching out and answering my question. That's awesome. You know, my big thing is I. I feel I'm very mature for my age. I'm 21. You know, I've done a lot. I've lived a lot of life. I live on my own. I've already graduated college, working full time. I'm doing acting. But my thing is. And I've seen you talk about this on the show before, you know, I don't even have the Instagram off of my phone. I hate social media. But I have to have it for what I'm doing and what I'm trying to do. The thing is, it's like there's so much, you know, excuse my language, BS and noise and people lying and, you know, inflating themselves. And I try to not let it get to me, but it's, it's things like people will act like they're on some huge debt, for instance, and they're just a background person, but they're going to act like they're next to Kevin Hart. Like, things like this happen all the time. So I guess my question for you is, because I'm sure you probably have had similar experiences in business coming, coming up, like, how were you able to like, get rid of that energy and just focus your attention and keep going?

[Andy Purcell]

It's funny that you say that.

[DJ]

Another thing or two.

[Andy Purcell]

Amira, we were literally just talking about this in the last question before we called you. Like, it's, it's so weird that this connected like that. So first of all, first of all, I get it, all right? I, I cannot stand these fake on the Internet, bro, that all pretend like they built or did selling all these young people dreams and things they didn't do and, and, and taking their money when it's highly unethical to me because, like, look, man, these young people are paying you sometimes their last amount of money to learn some real. That they don't even intend on teaching. They just want to take the money and they do it through deceptive marketing and I wouldn't even call it that. Just straight up lying. So I get it, dude. And it frustrates the fuck out of me. And then I see, you know, so many of these dudes just. Dude, I, I totally get it. All right, here's the answer. Focus on your own shit, all right? These people, I've been doing this so long. The people who were lying and faking and, and pretending they're gone. I've seen them come and go and come and go and come and go 20 times over the last 20 years. So this is just the. We are going to deal with these kind of people along the way who are going to pretend. They're, they're going to hype themselves, they're going to lie, they're going to cheat, they're going to pretend like things are better than they are, which, by the way, is the entire Internet. Everybody pretends like they're living this highlight reel. And then as we're struggling to do what it is that we do, we are feeling bad about ourselves. We're like, oh, we're not doing it as big as they are when we know they're full of shit. All Right. So.

[DJ]

Still gets us, though.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it does, dude. It's. It burns. You. You're like, fuck this guy. So here's the reality, man. Those people come and go, and the people who actually become something in reality, they focus on their own craft, they focus on their own skill set. They. Every time they see something like this, they just dismiss it as it's bullshit. And, like, I'll tell you what I do. What I do is when I see shit like that and it makes me mad, I do something immediately that's going to move me more towards becoming the real deal, okay? Not the fucking Internet deal. And so, yeah, look, the answer is very simple. And it's hard to. That's a hard discipline to learn because we all care a lot about, you know, you're trying to become the best actress. You're, you know, I'm assuming that you're not trying to be, you know, D roll commercials for local car dealers, right? Like, you're trying to be, like, you're trying to become a real deal actress. And that requires you to practice, to focus, to learn your craft. And so when you see people doing this, I would learn to transition immediately. Like, you start feeling upset and feeling frustrated, I would learn to transition immediately to positive action. Okay? And what we call this is called a production pivot. All right, I was just gonna say that.

[Amira]

I said. I literally was gonna say that. That you. Yeah, reading my mind.

[Andy Purcell]

That's what it's called. Okay? So we. We take in negativity and then we say this, and then we do something positive. Somebody hates on you, they talk some shit on you, they make you feel a certain way. You immediately use that as a mental signal to go do something. Practice your craft, read, get in front of the mirror, recite some lines, talk to your acting coach, talk to your voice coach, work on your shit. If you play an instrument, you go practice. So, dude, if we can. If we can harness the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action, that's a recipe for not just success, but honestly, dominance. Because there's so much negativity out there. You know, we. We are going to be faced as ambitious people with much more negativity than we are with support. People aren't going to believe. They're going to doubt. They're going to put things in our head. They're going to say things to us that upset us. And if we don't learn to use the frustration and the doubt and the negativity as a trigger to then go practice. It's very hard to get where you're wanting to go. And I know there's a lot of people online that say, prove yourself right. Don't worry about proving them wrong. Those people are usually fucking called losers. Okay. I'm just being honest. Very few people can actually do this without harnessing the majority of the energy that's out there, which is negative. So we have to be willing to see it for what it is. Bullshit. Take it in, put it out into action, and then we get better from it. Does that make sense?

[Amira]

Awesome. That's good stuff. Yeah, it makes total sense.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[Amira]

Good stuff.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[Amira]

Okay.

[Andy Purcell]

Those people, dude. Yeah.

[Amira]

And you know, I got it.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[Amira]

No, that. You know, the one that drives me nuts are these influencers, man. Oh, my Lord.

[Andy Purcell]

I know, I know.

[Amira]

I won't say anything about that, but yeah, no, that's. That's good stuff, Andy. I appreciate it.

[Andy Purcell]

All right, Amir, thank you so much for supporting the show. And it's. It's a pleasure to talk to you. Just keep your. Keep your. Your goals clear, keep your actions clear, spend your emotional energy on getting better, and, you know, learn that discipline of taking that negativity and put into positive action. You're going to be just fine.

[Amira]

Wonderful. Well, thank you so much, Andy. It was a pleasure talking with you. I'm so excited. I can't believe that, like, I just. I love this new format. I've been listening to you since COVID and you've honestly changed my life. I appreciate you both.

[Andy Purcell]

Listen, we appreciate you. Thank you so much for all the support.

[Amira]

Of course, of course. You all have a great day.

[Andy Purcell]

You too. Thank you.

[Amira]

All right, bye.

[Andy Purcell]

So, dude, that's. That is something that anybody who is ambitious is especially. I mean, dude, we all deal with this in different ways.

[DJ]

Yeah. I don't even. I don't even know if it's just a bit like, I've learned to look at social media a little bit in a different lens just from this.

[Andy Purcell]

Like, I feel like there's, you know, it's fake.

[DJ]

It's two groups of people.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

There's either like the over polished, they're showing you what they want you to see. Right. Or you got the victim crowd that's going to cry on every post because.

[Andy Purcell]

That'S the only way they can get attention.

[DJ]

That's it. That's it. You know what I'm saying? So that's how I learned to look.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. But then there's the third people.

[DJ]

Who's the third?

[Andy Purcell]

Like the third people who take five years off of social media and build a fucking empire. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

I like seeing that shit.

[Andy Purcell]

That's what I'm saying. And, dude, here's the thing, you know, like, you don't think that when I was taking time off social media, I didn't see a lot of these other entrepreneurs starting to catch up on social. You don't think I saw their fake engagement? You don't think I saw them posturing like they were bigger than they are? You don't think I saw all that? Every time I fucking saw it, I'm like, dude, fuck that. And I went to fucking work. Now we got all these different massive things happening. And that's evidence, my own story is evidence of that. If you've been following me since 2012, when I started, you guys saw me grow. The first phase of our business, when I stopped in 2019 to now, it's. We're in the. We're probably in the fourth phase, okay? And every time I saw one of these doing their, like, that guy and I went and did something, and that's how things are produced. So we have to learn. We have to. Like, like, people say this in a different way, which I don't agree with. They say, don't. Comparison is the thief of joy. No, actually, you should get pissed off about the comparison and take that energy and go use it. You know, like, when I see motherfuckers doing better than me that I don't think deserve it, quote, unquote, doing better. That's right. I'm like, dude, this dude couldn't hold my nuts in real world, you know what I'm saying? And I fucking go do the thing. The point is to do the thing, not pretend like you're doing a thing. You know, I'm saying? And there's very few of us doing the thing in this world as opposed to just talking about doing the thing. So I would rather be doing the thing, and I think Amira would too, and I think all of you guys would as well. So don't get caught up in the illusion of social media because, you know, and there is some. There is some. There's a lot of value in building a tremendous social media presence, but you need to leverage that into real business. Not just. You don't want likes and shares and comments for the sake of having them. You want to be able to leverage them. And like, dude, if we're being real, there's influencer fatigue. You know, people like, the game has changed, dude. There's a big difference between Attention and influence. Attention is post every day. Use this hook, do this thing fucking. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you could leverage it into. Into a business, but don't do it for the sake of doing it. Okay? You want impact, you want depth. You don't just want with and you want to be able to leverage it. Right? So we. Being an influencer for the sake of being an influencer is a cycle that people get into and they can't get out of because now they're earning all their money from brands and they're doing the same content as everybody else. And then the brands don't want to work with them because they got their profiles fatigued. They can't reinvent themselves. And they're. And it happened, dude, they start getting this. They get into like the cycle they can't break out of and do. You don't want to be that. You want to be somebody who is doing real things in real life and building your attention from inward to outward, not outward to inward. You know what I'm saying? Like. Meaning like you built something, you did something. That's why you're getting the attention versus getting the attention and then trying to harness. You could do it both ways. But most people have a very hard time of getting the attention and harnessing it. But if you build a thing and then that's. That's influence because it's the. The receipts are there.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

You know, that's real, man.

[DJ]

That's real.

[Andy Purcell]

So.

[DJ]

Well, guys. Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, guys. Hey, thanks for all the support. Don't be a hoe Share the show. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze up Bo up stove counted millions in a cold bad booted SWO got her own bank row.

[DJ]

Can'T f just a no head shot case close.