884. Full Length: Bad Thoughts Ft. Tom Segura

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella – Episode 884: "Bad Thoughts" Ft. Tom Segura

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Introduction

In this energetic and candid episode of REAL AF with Andy Frisella, host Andy Frisella welcomes comedian and author Tom Segura as his special guest. The episode, released on May 21, 2025, delves into a variety of topics ranging from Tom’s latest creative ventures to personal transformations, the dynamics of cancel culture in comedy, and insights into Tom’s international experiences. The conversation is marked by humor, honest reflections, and engaging banter between Andy, Tom, and co-host DJ.

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Bad Thoughts: Tom Segura’s Creative Endeavor

Tom Segura opens up about his new Netflix series, "Bad Thoughts", describing it as his most enjoyable creative project to date.

• Creative Freedom: Tom emphasizes the unique creative freedom he experienced, stating, “[00:43] Tom Segura: It was the most fun I've ever had, like, creatively making it. We got to make really wild stories that we wrote ourselves” ([02:35]).

• Anthology Format: The show is structured as an anthology with self-contained stories, allowing for diverse and unconventional narratives without external interference.

• Violent Fantasies: Tom shares an example of a storyline where a seemingly trivial interaction with a barista escalates into a violent fantasy, affirming the show's intention to channel real frustrations creatively: “[03:07] Tom Segura: It's a violent fantasy. Everybody has encountered a retail person where you're like, I'm gonna kill this guy. And I want to” ([03:40]).

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Personal Transformations and Fitness Journey

The conversation shifts to personal health and fitness, highlighting significant transformations undergone by both hosts and their friends.

• Tom’s Transformation: Tom discusses his weight loss journey, mentioning his participation in a 5K run, which led to significant weight loss and improved fitness: “[11:13] Tom Segura: I put more emphasis on training and eating right, especially while traveling” ([19:35]).

• Mental and Physical Benefits: Tom highlights the mental clarity and increased energy that come with regular exercise: “[21:30] Tom Segura: Working out helps clear my mind and makes me feel happier” ([21:44]).

• Andy’s Experience: Andy relates by sharing his own experience with incorporating training before showing up to the podcast, which helps him manage anger and improves his mood: “[20:01] Andy Vercella: Training right before helps me be more tolerable and manage my anger” ([21:06]).

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Antifa, Cancel Culture, and the State of Comedy

A significant portion of the episode tackles the impact of cancel culture on comedy, with Tom offering his perspectives on how comedians navigate controversial topics.

• Evolution of Cancel Culture: Tom compares the current climate to 30 years ago, noting increased visibility of people’s reactions due to social media: “[26:15] Tom Segura: Today, people can instantly express their displeasure through devices and social media” ([28:01]).

• Resilience in Comedy: He argues that true comedians can withstand backlash, as seen with figures like Dave Chappelle, who despite accusations of transphobia, continue to thrive: “[30:38] Tom Segura: Chappelle wasn't canceled; his shows remained sold out” ([31:01]).

• Market Over Attacks: Tom emphasizes that the comedy market ultimately dictates success, not attempts to censor comedians: “[29:00] Tom Segura: If your comedy isn't selling, that's on you, not because someone attacked you” ([29:46]).

• Reaction Culture Critique: Both hosts critique the prevalence of reaction videos and articles that do not contribute creatively but instead seek attention: “[33:58] Tom Segura: Reaction articles are just noise and lack creativity” ([34:18]).

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Touring and International Experiences

Tom provides insights into his extensive touring schedule and experiences performing globally.

• Tour Duration: Tom mentions his ongoing two-year tour, balancing performances across North America and selecting global markets: “[34:25] Tom Segura: My current tour spans two years, covering major North American and select global cities” ([34:25]).

• Favorite Cities: He shares his love for cities like New York, London, and Tokyo, praising their vibrant atmospheres and culinary excellence: “[38:14] Tom Segura: Tokyo’s food is unparalleled; every meal felt like the best I've ever had” ([40:23]).

• Cultural Observations: Tom highlights cultural differences, such as the meticulousness in Japanese service and the vibrant, ever-evolving nature of cities like Hong Kong: “[42:19] Tom Segura: Japanese people take immense pride in their work, which is evident in every interaction” ([42:19]).

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Personal Anecdotes and Stories

The trio engages in humorous storytelling, sharing personal mishaps and memorable moments.

• Injuries and Recovery: Tom recounts a basketball injury involving a snap in his patellar tendon and humerus, leading to extensive surgeries and recovery: “[52:14] Tom Segura: My left patellar tendon snapped during a dunk contest” ([55:01]).

• Andy’s Fitness Failures: Andy humorously describes his own struggles with sudden strength demonstrations caught on video, leading to humorous family reactions: “[56:07] Andy Vercella: When I pushed over a tree, I saw myself in the video and was shocked by my own strength” ([56:07]).

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Interactive Segments and Games

The episode includes interactive segments where Tom reacts to viral clips and participates in games, adding an element of spontaneity and humor.

• Viral Clips Reaction: Tom reacts to viral videos, including a formidable figure named Frederick Vosgrove, humorously assessing his intimidating presence: “[62:05] Tom Segura: That guy was probably built to do exactly this to laugh” ([62:09]).

• "What Would Tom Do?" Game: In a playful segment, Tom navigates amusing hypothetical scenarios, showcasing his comedic instincts: “[73:36] DJ: What would Tom do? Scenario 1: Your son joins Antifa” ([73:36]).

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YMH Studios and Future Projects

Tom discusses his involvement with YMH Studios, highlighting its growth and diversification into various media projects.

• Studio Operations: YMH Studios, based in Austin, serves as a hub for producing podcasts, TV shows like "Bad Thoughts," and feature films: “[57:19] Tom Segura: YMH Studios is our flagship, producing various podcasts and media content” ([58:22]).

• Expansion and Infrastructure: Tom outlines the gradual build-up of the studio’s infrastructure, including internal ad sales and a supportive team environment: “[58:22] Tom Segura: We slowly built the infrastructure, expanding into TV and film” ([58:22]).

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Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their appreciation for Tom's insights and contributions. Tom acknowledges the collaborative spirit, and Andy commends Tom’s meticulous approach to his work: “[78:04] Andy Vercella: I really appreciate how meticulous you are about your work” ([78:04]).

The episode concludes on a lighthearted note, encouraging listeners to share the show and stay tuned for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura on Creative Freedom: “[02:35] 'It was a real bummer of a process when it's so this was like the opposite where we got to make…'”

• Tom on Fitness: “[19:35] 'I've learned a lot of my day is really slammed with like, you know, 100 things. When I work out first, I'm just a much better version of myself.'”

• Tom on Cancel Culture: “[28:01] 'You're the complaining little bitch right now.'”

• Tom on YMH Studios: “[58:22] 'We built the infrastructure to produce podcasts, TV shows, and films.'”

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Episode 884, highlighting key discussions, personal stories, and insightful perspectives shared by Tom Segura and the hosts. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode offers valuable takeaways on creativity, resilience, and the evolving landscape of comedy.

Transcript

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold, bad booty.

[Andy Vercella]

Swole Got her own bank roll can't.

[DJ]

Fold Just a no head shot case Close.

[Andy Vercella]

What is up, guys? It's Andy Vercella and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. As always, we have dj. Yeah, there he is. Special full length episode. Today we got a special guest, Mr. Tom Segara. What's happening, brother?

[Tom Segura]

How are you? Thanks for having me, man.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, man, it's great to have you here too. He's in town doing the Fox theater. How is it?

[Tom Segura]

It's amazing, dude. It's one of the most beautiful theaters in the country. I've always. I've been playing St. Louis, like my whole career, you know, I think my first stop here was it helium. And I've done like a variety of different venues. I've been to the Fox a few times. It's one of the best. It's one of the best theaters in the country.

[DJ]

It sucks when you came in, though, man, we had the storm.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it was.

[DJ]

It took you out, man.

[Tom Segura]

It was a. It was actually a gnarly descent into St. Louis. Yeah, we touched down about 10 minutes before the tornado and you could tell something was happening.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But, yeah, we made it through it. And, you know, people. People were fun last night.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. Was it good?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was great.

[Andy Vercella]

I mean, dude, look, we kind of get left off the list of a lot of things. Let's be real.

[DJ]

That's real.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the war zone that we live in downtown, but we always appreciate you coming through and.

[Tom Segura]

Absolutely.

[Andy Vercella]

Thing, man. So what's been going on?

[Tom Segura]

Got a new Netflix new series out. Yeah, it's called Bad Thoughts. It's on Netflix. It was the most fun I've ever had, like, creatively making it, you know, because it was kind of like, it really was the thing you dream of where. Where the. The studio. The network in this case was just like, pretty much like, just make what you want, you know, because I've been through other development processes and pilots where, you know, the first time you meet with executives, they're like, yeah, make what you want. And then a couple months in, they're like, take all this shit out. And you're like, not like that. Yeah, yeah. And it's a. It's a real bummer of a process when it's so this was like the opposite where we got to make, I mean, pretty wild stories that we wrote. It's basically anthology, so it's like these self contained stories and we, we got to make what we wanted. So it was, it was really fun.

[Andy Vercella]

And nobody stepped in and said, hey, wait a minute, dude, this is like a little too much.

[Tom Segura]

I mean there was a couple times where they were like, this is pretty much. They were like, this is pretty crazy. You know, in the writing process, very like very few notes. And then in the edit, you know, they were like, this is particularly gruesome. Can we, can we dial this back? And we were like, maybe.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, but dude, isn't that, isn't that the, like, isn't that the point? Like isn't the point to walk the line and.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, I think, I mean also I think, you know, in the stories we were making, we were making pretty crazy stories. You know, one is about a guy who goes to a barista and they put in, he asked for a splash of milk and they basically give him like a cup of milk. And so he's like, hey, can you remake this? And the barista is really rude. And so then the guy kills everybody in the. Right.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, I mean, we've all been there, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's like wish fulfillment.

[Andy Vercella]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Everybody has encountered a retail person where you're like, I'm gonna kill this guy.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I want to.

[Andy Vercella]

And everybody else.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andy Vercella]

All of you.

[Tom Segura]

So that was like the fantasy of the story. And then they were like, hey, this is pretty violent. I was like, yeah, that's the whole point. It's a violent fantasy. And then they let it go. I mean, I rip a guy's jaw out of his face and things so pride deserve.

[DJ]

I've learned not to fuck with my baristas though, man.

[Andy Vercella]

And you never fog with people that fuck with your food.

[DJ]

Food specifically. But like, you know, the they thems. Like, bro, like, they'll get you.

[Andy Vercella]

They them, bro.

[DJ]

They will get you, bro. Like I've learned. Just leave it alone. Even if it is fucked up. I just leave it alone, man.

[Tom Segura]

You just leave it alone.

[Andy Vercella]

The problem is, dude, is that they themselves get you for. For not being a they them.

[DJ]

They like me.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, that's cause you're black.

[DJ]

That's true. I'm bipoc. Yeah, I do get a pass.

[Tom Segura]

You definitely get a better treatment than we do. Oh, how things have changed.

[DJ]

It's a little different now. It's a little different now. Dude, that's sick. I was Thinking before the show, though, like, because there was, first of all, bad thoughts is awesome.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, thanks, man.

[DJ]

It is. Absolutely. If you guys have not seen that yet, you need to go watch it.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, right now, please. It's definitely in line with our audience for sure.

[DJ]

Oh, dude.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. We're no stranger to Crash the fucking line.

[DJ]

Well, I want to ask on that, like, how did. So were these. Just, like, how much I want to. Okay, that's my question is how much of that stuff was, like, real shit that's actually happened to you? Or, like, are these like. Or was it just like. Okay, like, let's just create the funniest shit we can possibly think of.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, there's.

[DJ]

Is there some reality in there?

[Tom Segura]

You know, like, the coffee thing came is like. It's like this cathartic thing to. To write. Because you go. It came from the. The whole thing where I'd seen so many times. I'd go, hey, can I get a splash of milk? And I'd see them go, like, 1, 2, 3, 4. I'm like, you don't know what a fucking splash is. Like, a splash is a splash, you know? And so, you know, you can talk about that, you can think about that. But the most fun thing to do is to write a story where you go, this thing happens to me all the time. Here's like, a different version of how. You know, it's like it's a fantasy, right? So.

[Andy Vercella]

So it's a. It's a war plan, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. But it's also like, it's like the healthiest way to channel, like, those feelings and emotions. You go like, well, you can just complain about it or you can, like, write a story about this fantasy. So that's like one version of a story, right? I mean, there's a bunch of different ones in there. Like, there's the me with the twins. I don't know if you. So that's the black and white one where I just had this. I. I had this idea where I was like, hey, what if we do one where a woman sees me in a window and tells me to, like, waves me in? And then what I pitched was, the woman is drop dead gorgeous. And then she's like, do you want to have sex with me? And I go, yeah. And she goes, okay, well, first you have to fuck somebody as gross as you. And I go, what? And then what we were gonna do was have a woman come in, and we were gonna deep fake my face on her so that it would be a sex scene between me and Me, you know, like, that was the idea. And then one of the other directors, Rami Hishash, he was like, what if it was a conjoined twin? And I was like, oh. And I liked it more. So we wrote the story. So I play Joseph, who looks like me, and then I also play the twin on the back of her. On her back growing up. And so then I do kind of have sex with me. Like, that was the whole. So these were just.

[Andy Vercella]

I mean, it's no different than, you know, every other day.

[DJ]

Friday night. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, so they were all, like. They came from all these different places, but, yeah, it was all. A lot of it came from that writer's room, just like throwing ideas, which is like. The writer's room is like this, where you just sit down, you have a board, everyone's writing down, and you're pitching. And then every few. I don't know, every hour or something, you go like, oh. And then when you get excited, you're like, I'll be back. And you run out and you just sit and write and write. And then you bring it back to the room and you guys read it together. And it's like, it's a very fun, like, kind of atmosphere.

[Andy Vercella]

This is like a hangout.

[Tom Segura]

It's like a hangout with, like, super funny comedy writers. And, like, it's the best because you. You're getting like eight, nine different people's minds on the thing, and then you kind of, you know, you end up. There's no. You let your ego go. You don't go like, well, this was my idea. You. It's whoever has the best idea that you kind of go like, that's it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, dude, that's, you know, that's in line with anything, I think. Great, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Vercella]

Great leaders, you know, you're the leader of your team. It's. It's, you know, it's about picking the best product, not the fucking idea 100%.

[Tom Segura]

And, like, I think a production, like a show, is not unlike kind of running a company in a way where the best thing you can do is. Is try to surround yourself with the best talent. Like, you want the. You're like, I want the best production designer, you know, director of photography, like, all these people that are in charge of different departments, and you want people to, like, be great.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You're like, fucking go kill it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like your ideas. Yeah. Like, let's. Let's hear them, let's do them.

[Andy Vercella]

I think that's the difference between, you know, I mean, dude, you know, resilient entrepreneurs. And. And I really think that's the. The biggest difference between great entrepreneurs, great business people.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And. And shitty ones is, like, the shitty ones think that they have to have all the ideas, and they don't want to surround themselves with better people.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And the great ones are like, dude, everybody's smarter than me here.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, that's what I. I want everybody to be smarter than me.

[Tom Segura]

That's. I mean, if I have, like, any gift in what I do, it's identifying great people.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And being like, hey, come work with me.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, like, that's. That's what I try to do. Well, is. I. I go like, I'm okay. You're great.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You come work with me. Like, that's what I want to do is have great people around me.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, bro. And. And, you know, it's. It's interesting because, like, people will come here and they, you know, they're like, oh, dude, you know, everything's so cool. You're doing such. I'm like, bro, it's them. Yeah, these guys are good, you know, So I always feel, like, a little bit guilty because I'm like, I get a lot of the credit, but my team is fudgeing amazing.

[Tom Segura]

I feel like that with the. The show entirely. It's like, it's my face and my name.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And everybody kind of, like, goes like, it's you, you, you. And I'm like, well, it's partially me, but the reason it is what it is is, like, these 50 other people.

[Andy Vercella]

Do you look at it like. Do you look at it like, hey, man, this is just my role on the team?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like, yeah. You know, you have a role, I think, in. You know, the thing is about, like, it's so different. Like, standup is so singular. Right. It really literally is just you. You write the stuff, you perform it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You hold a mic and it's just you on stage. And it's a very. Kind of. Like, the only way a tour works is with a team, but standup is very singular. But a show or a movie is the absolute polar opposite. It's like, it's like running a business where you're like, maybe you're the. In this case, like, the CEO of it, but then you have to hire an entire team. And you.

[DJ]

If.

[Tom Segura]

If you are like, no, no, no. Everything runs through me. Whatever you make is definitely going to suck.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, you really have to, like, empower people and go, like, you run this shit too. And you kind of. You run your department. You know, you have to let them, encourage them to like, take over in what they do. That's the only way a TV or film, like TV show or film is going to be entertaining.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, you run your own media, right? Like, you have everything.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, we have like YMH studios. So, like, we produce a lot of podcasts. We produced the show Bad Thoughts. We're producing a feature film. So, yeah, it's, you know, it runs through our company, but it's all about, like hiring great people. For sure. Thousand percent sick, man.

[DJ]

Well, I thought something else was interesting, Tom, that I've been noticing too. You. You've had like a transformation journey.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, a bit. A little bit of a glow up.

[DJ]

Yeah, let's talk about it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, okay.

[Andy Vercella]

Sure, let's talk about it.

[DJ]

I mean, because I mean.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, dude, it's like a group effort, man. You got Jelly Roll down, you know, 200 pounds.

[Tom Segura]

200 pounds?

[Andy Vercella]

Dude, he looks fucking great.

[DJ]

I just saw him in concert this past Tuesday at Bush Stadium with Post Malone. He looks amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, well, we did the 5K two weeks ago.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And I hadn't seen him in person since the 5k the previous year, which was like almost exactly a year to the day. And he was down 130 from 130 pounds from last May and 200 overall. And then at the 5K, he was like, next year at the 5K, I want to be down another 100. I want to be 240.

[Andy Vercella]

He'll do it. I totally believe, dude, I'm glad he's doing that, bro, because, like, he's such. He's so good at what he does. And all I was thinking when he was like, big. Big was like, fucking, it's gonna be another dude that dies.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know. I mean, also, I'll tell you this. Like, so we got to Raymond James, where the Bucks play. That's where we had the 5K. And you know, like last year we did the Rose Bowl. And so they had us start in the parking lot in Pasadena and they laid out this track, like on side streets, right? And then you kind of run back through this parking lot. And I was like, I was imagining something like that. I don't know the layout of Raymond James Stadium, right? So I just show up and they're like, hey, there's a lot of uphill. And I go, what do you mean? And they're like, well, it's. They made it all within the stadium. Well, the only way to hit 3.1 miles in the stadium is you kind of follow this path, and then you take the corridor, like, the ramps down, and then you take them up nine stories, all up.

[DJ]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Right. And then you go across the stadium, down again, and then up again. So I was like, yo, this is, like, brutal. Half a mile. That's just all incline, which, like, you know.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, that's hard enough to do when you could drink a beer all day.

[Tom Segura]

It's hard enough to do, honestly, like, if you're, like. If you're, like, moderately fit.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, Right.

[Tom Segura]

And so, like, when I heard he was coming, because I knew he was coming, but they were like, he's coming later this afternoon because he had flown in from a show. We were out there. I was like, yo, I don't know if he can do this, man. Right. We were like, you know, he's still a big dude.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then I was thinking, like, cardio and knees. I was like, man, it's going to be 90 by the time. Degrees outside by the time he gets here. And I go, this is, like, all incline. So I was, like, actually worried. And then, like, when he got there, I was like, all right, well, you know, I don't know if we tell him or like. He crushed it. Yeah, he did it at 340, like, all these inclines, and. Yeah, he crushed it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

That sounds like Camelback Mountain for us.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, yeah, that.

[DJ]

Oh, you ever. You ever did camelback in Arizona?

[Tom Segura]

No, don't. Okay.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, that was miserable. Yeah, dude, that was miserable.

[Andy Vercella]

We got. We got half. Dude, we. We started. So we had this big event. There was, like, a couple hundred people, like a. Like a group thing, sort of like a run club, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And they were all meeting down there to do camelback. And DJ and I got up early. We had been drinking all night, and I was like, all right, let's get there early so we can, like, get, like, up the mountain so nobody sees us dying, right?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

I knew it was gonna be.

[DJ]

We were polling people before, you know what I'm saying? I think that's where we're up at, because we're polling people. And it was like a 50, 50. Like, hey, how is it? And we either got. It was death or was the easiest thing they've ever done.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[DJ]

You know, I think that's where we up at, because, like, I'm like, We didn't really know what to expect.

[Tom Segura]

I will say there's this thing. I mean, it's not like, a new observation, but, like, when you're doing it because when I was doing the actual. This run, I feel like if I had been just alone, I'd been like, man, this. Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The fact that there's, like, thousands of people.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And can't you.

[Andy Vercella]

For you.

[Tom Segura]

You hit that turn and you see the. I had no idea that it was nine incline ramps up. I was like, mother. And then you just. You just do it.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Peer pressure.

[Tom Segura]

It's peer. The peer pressure really does help.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And then I found, like, I'm on this path, like, you know, it's all mapped out. And I see this guy, and he's, like, shirtless and kind of yoked, like, like midway. And he's, let's say, I don't know, 100 yards behind me. And then I got it in my head. I was like, I can't let this fucking hot guy pass me. So every time I would, like, wrap around and I'd see him coming, I was like, you cannot let this guy beat you. And then you just, like, keep running hard. And every time I was like, man, I want to, like, slow down, catch my breath. I'd be like, that. Fucking hot, guys. And then it's just gonna. It's gonna make you upset. So I just. And I told him afterwards. I was like, I didn't want you to fucking pass me, man. He was like, really? Yeah, dude. Like, he was my motivation. But I feel like if I was alone, you'd just be like, I'm tired.

[DJ]

Fuck this.

[Tom Segura]

I'll stop.

[DJ]

Yeah, we started, like, 30, 45 minutes before.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. I didn't want to see everybody see me die, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So, like, I got, like. I wanted to get, like, halfway up before we started. This motherfucker shows up with walking sticks. Like, he's in all this equipment, like, he's going up Mount Everest.

[DJ]

Be prepared.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Vercella]

So we get like. We. We. We're like, dude, legit. We're, like, struggling.

[DJ]

It's hard.

[Andy Vercella]

We're, like, up there. And I'm like, fuck, we gotta be this. We gotta be close. And he. And he taps me on the shoulder, and he points up at the thing, and I see this, like, little line. Looks like fucking ants, like, go. And I'm like, yeah. So. So, dude, I'm like, dude, me and him were standing there. I'm like, dude, maybe we should just go back down. No one's up here. And right as I said that, dude, the group was coming up. They're like, andy, are you on your way down? And I'm like, okay, so we ended up doing it.

[Tom Segura]

But how far is that? Is that.

[DJ]

Dude, it was, it was on.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, it's just like straight up, bro.

[DJ]

But three miles up.

[Andy Vercella]

Very up.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And it's like, you know, there's not a path, bro. Like, you're like using your hands and.

[Tom Segura]

Trying to find a way. Yeah, I'm not built for no dude.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I was not big boy friendly. Yeah, but. But no dude. Your transformation's been sick, man.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks, man. I mean, I think it's probably like. And you know, like anything where it's just kind of what you prioritize, you know, like, you think, you think you prioritize things, then you realize that just thinking about it is not a priority. Like, you have to do things. So I think I just put more of an emphasis on training more. And you know, like, eating is obviously like such a big thing, especially when you travel for a living because you're just in different cities and you know, hotel gyms. And hotel gyms. I mean, food is, is, I think for us the biggest thing. Right? Because like, when I started my career as a stand up, doing the road, you know, comedy clubs are notorious for like, you know, it's bad food, it's not good for you. It's like, it's mozzarella sticks and chicken wings and. And that's kind of. And we're there late and that was just like, I don't know, I'm 23. You don't even think about it. You just start eating that shit. And then 10 years go by and you're like, you've gained 50 pounds. And. But you're also just like. And this is what it is. You just kind of resign to, like, you know, I'm up late, I sleep in, we eat like shit, I'm on the road, I'm a comedian. Who cares? And then all of a sudden you're like approaching 40 and you're like, what am I fucking doing with my life? You know, like, you're just kind of a mess, really. You're on a. You're on a path that you realize can go a certain way. And I think especially in comedy, like, we kind of like romanticize it. We're like, like, we make it cool to be a slob. Like, I'm a comic.

[DJ]

You laugh about it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You're like, who cares? We drink beer and eat like, and sleep in. But then you're like, yeah, like, you don't have to do that, you know, to, to do stand up. Like, it's not a prerequisite. Even though you kind of let yourself.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, it's a justification.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You justify it. And then you're just like, I don't know. Then you just hit a certain point where you're like, this is not a great way to live. Like, you can take care of yourself. And then I think the biggest thing is you end up. You know, people always see you physically transform, but you just feel so much better. You know, like you physically and mentally, you're like, I'm thinking more clearly. I feel better, I'm happy.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, you're probably able to create better. Shit.

[Tom Segura]

Oh my God. Like now I tell people it's like a lot of my day days are really slammed with like, you know, 100 things. Right. And I go, when I come into my office, we have like recordings and interviews and add things. And then like, you know, we're gonna shoot things and we got meetings. It's like a full day. I. I've learned that if I work out first, like before I go in, I'm just like a so much better version of myself. Like, I come in and like sometimes I even staff are like, damn, like, you're in a good mood. And I'm like, yeah, I just came from the gym. Like a feel good. And then I. I actually feel like I have energy for that day.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Whereas opposed the other way of like where I just show up. I feel like I'm dragging that day.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. And dude, I did the exact same thing about two years ago. I fig I would come in here because we always talk about what the going on in the world and I get super pissed off.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And like I would come in here, bro, and like I'd be so pissed off. And then I figured out if I train right before, like I was, that's, you know, what I was doing right before this. I train right before even though I still get pissed.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Like it's. It's like it's like not nuclear. It's like it's tolerable.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You need it. You need it, dude. It's like. Yeah. I think we all, you know, everybody thinks of. Or a lot of people think of that as just like, like working out as just like for your muscles, you know, of like, oh, you're trying, you know, stronger, whatever. Which is obviously good for you. But I think the. What it does to you mentally.

[Andy Vercella]

Totally agree.

[Tom Segura]

Is. Is like there's, there's like, there's just the fog of sleep goes away.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Things just fire faster. And I actually literally Feel happier.

[Andy Vercella]

Me too.

[Tom Segura]

Like, I actually. I'm in a better mood.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. You know, I'm not, like, a naturally happy person.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So I have to, like. Like, I. You know, actually, to be real, dude, like, naturally happy people kind of annoy me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with this person you happy for? Yeah, dude. Like.

[Tom Segura]

But are you Russian or something?

[Andy Vercella]

No, I do. I don't know. Like, I don't know. I'm Sicilian. But, like, I don't. I don't know what it is, bro. Like, the chipper people. You know what I'm talking?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I know.

[Andy Vercella]

It's like, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

What the Did I do wrong? You know, so. But yeah, dude, working out does it, man. Like, it definitely helps me a lot. So did you guys, like, all get together and, like, who is the ringleader of. Of this?

[Tom Segura]

I think it was, like, a slow.

[Andy Vercella]

Burt Lost a ton, too, didn't he?

[Tom Segura]

He's. He. Yeah, he has. He goes up and down quite a bit.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So, like, he was. He. He trimmed down and what look was looking great in his special that he shot. He shot it in November, so it's been like, you know, six, seven months. And in just those six, seven months, I think he's put on, like, 30 plus pounds.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But he also, you know, he's. He's kind of a. He's a weird athlete, too. Like, he's somebody where if he was like, all right, today, I'm just gonna clean it up, you know, in two weeks, he'd be down £15.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And like, he just bounces back real quick, and then he falls off because he just.

[Andy Vercella]

Bro, I relate.

[Tom Segura]

He parties. Like, he. You know, he's fun. It's fun. He's on the road, he drinks, he eats like a psycho, and then he gains all this weight, and then he just, like, pivots back. Now, I think it's, you know, the older you get, you're more like, dude, this is crazy. Like, yeah. Hang out in one weight group.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But. But, yeah, he just does that for me. I just feel like I. I still can gain and lose, but I have, like, a. A tighter window.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Where I. If I'm, like, right now, I feel like I'm at my max. I'm, like, reining it in, being like, oh, this is too much. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. I don't want it to go.

[Andy Vercella]

You know what it's like to let it go.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly how much work it takes. I'm not going to do another 10:20. Like, I'll rein it in now.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. It took me till I was about 40 to figure that out, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it took me same.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

I was like, this is not worth it. Because I would get in shape, and then I would go, like, I would get down to, like, 250, which is in shape for me, and then I would be 350, and then I would be 250, and then I did that, like, three or four times.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Fuck.

[Tom Segura]

I think it's. I mean. Yeah. There's a certain age where you're like, I can't do this. Like, this not. It's just not good. But I don't know, man. It has to stay on your mind. Like, nothing will. Nothing will just, like, happen, you know? Like, I feel like a lot of people, they're like, the. The. The curse of it is that you can think about it all day and not do anything.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Do you know what I mean? Like, there's people who, like, wake up and they go, I'm really unhappy physically, like, with my body and all this shit, and go to bed with the same thoughts and, like, not change anything. Right. Like, they just. Forever.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It's like a version of insanity.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. And then they end up telling about it. They end up selling themselves on some fucking bullshit, like, oh, well, this is just the way.

[Tom Segura]

Always trying to find a way around. Yeah. It's like, I. Yeah. I mean, you eventually get tired of.

[Andy Vercella]

Telling yourself that shit.

[Tom Segura]

You get tired of telling it, and you just go. You also just accept that. Like, okay, man, like, I'm gonna have to eat this way.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

If I want to eat the other way, then you accept what comes with it.

[Andy Vercella]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

So, yeah, it's a lot of, like.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, man.

[Tom Segura]

Lean protein. And, you know, like, I want the pasta, but I'm like, no. And then the workouts, I feel like, are. They're not. Like, I don't resist the work. Like, I like the workout, but the work of it, I think, is you still have to find the time, you know? Like, that's the big challenge when you're.

[Andy Vercella]

On the road, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. You got to find the time. So a lot of it is just like. I mean, that's why great. Like, Sean comes with me, is that, you know, sometimes I'm like, well, I guess there's not enough time to work out. And then he'll be like, what the you talking about? We can just go right now. Yeah. Like, okay. Like, that kind of shit, right?

[Andy Vercella]

Where you're like, yeah, dude. Because the truth of the Matter is, even a 30 minute quick workout is still get the job done, man. In terms of like clearing your mind.

[Tom Segura]

If you hit it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You can make 30 minutes go a long way. Yeah, for sure.

[Andy Vercella]

Definitely, man.

[DJ]

Well, one of the other things. So we talk a lot about, like, you know, culture stuff. Things are happening right now, right? And, you know, since we have a fucking global figure in comedy, I wanted to try to, I guess ask you what's your take on cancel culture and comedy? And where have you seen the ebbs and flows go in that?

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I feel like the big conversation piece of that was like a few years ago when that idea kind of loaded. But I also feel like it's kind of. Here's the difference between the world today and 30 years ago. Like 30 years ago, if you were a comedian or somebody and you said some shit that upset people, maybe there'd be a news story about it. But it's mostly that somebody. Like, it would mostly be somebody was mad, they would just tell somebody else. There's no way you knew they were mad. But there's also no way that back then people weren't mad about shit. Do you know what I mean? Like, you just. The difference is today we have all these devices where people can tell you that they're mad about what you said. And I feel like, like some, like a lot of comedians will be like, oh, you know, like they're, they're complaining that someone's upset about what they did. And you're like, yeah, that's part of the thing, dude. Like, you, you can't, you can't be a comedian who goes, I'm gonna say whatever I want to say, and it's not cool if somebody gets upset. You're like, that's how it works. Like, you know, I mean, like, you're, you're the one who's actually being super complaining right now. Like, you have to let people say that they don't like what you said. Like, that's the exchange. I'm going to say some shit and like, yeah, you. Every comedian wants you to love everything they said. That's just the way it goes. Even the ones who they all want you to. So some of them are just complaining that, hey, people got mad about this. That's bullshit. You're like, no, that's part of how it goes. Like, you're the complaining little bitch right now.

[DJ]

Right, Right.

[Tom Segura]

Because you're upset that people are upset. Because my thing is like, what? Where is somebody really being canceled in. In standup? Let's Say I'm talking in the comedy space. Because some of them will be like, oh, I can't say this. Like, yes, you can.

[Andy Vercella]

Should.

[Tom Segura]

You just can't dictate that everyone will love it, you know?

[Andy Vercella]

Dude, that whole saying of you can't say this is so annoying.

[Tom Segura]

It's a, it's a tired trope now. Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, oh, dude, they won't let us say. Who won't let you say that? You won't let you say.

[Tom Segura]

What they're really saying is they're like, I'm, I'm mad that some people are mad about what I said. It's like, that's the exchange, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

I've never seen someone get canceled that didn't come out bigger. I've never seen it happen.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, because it's like, it's a made up kind of like, you're not really canceled. I mean, are there a few examples? Probably. I can't even really like where you go, you said some shit and now you can't get work.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Because that's really what canceled means.

[DJ]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

And I think, look.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's a people.

[Tom Segura]

The worst people I think in society are people who go, like, you said something. I'm going to try to contact your employers.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So that you lose your job. That's a weak piece of shit.

[Andy Vercella]

Fucking bitch.

[Tom Segura]

That's. That is the worst. And I have like zero respect for the person that goes, I don't like something somebody said. I'm going to try to make this person lose their, like their livelihood. That's insane. Yeah, but I'm like, in comedy, like, who's, who's stopping you from selling tickets, bro? Like, say whatever you want to say. Also, if you don't, if you stop selling tickets, that's on you.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's not like somebody attacking you.

[Andy Vercella]

You just suck.

[Tom Segura]

The market is dictating why you're not selling it. So I just don't really buy that, like comics are being canceled. I really think that, like, if you say wild and it's really funny, guess what? People will be like, that shit was really funny. So it was crazy.

[Andy Vercella]

Let's be real, dude. Like, the best comedians in history. The best standups in history. When you go back in like the 80s, like Eddie Murphy before he was like a dad on tv, you know, the guy was raw and like delirious and like, bro, go like these kids these days with their little vaginas, like, go watch that, bro. Like, and you know what? You know what? Like, then you look at Chappelle like when he was doing Chappelle show. And like, yeah, these things made culture stronger because it taught us that we could all laugh at each other and make fun of each other.

[Tom Segura]

Well, the Chappelle example too, which was like, great, was that, like, he put out a special and then everyone, you know, there was people, like, walking out of Netflix and like, it was all in the news and people were calling him transphobic and they were like, oh, he's being canceled. And you're like, what are you talking about? Like, I mean, you go to the show. I went to a show with him the following week. Oh, after.

[DJ]

That should happen.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I was at, I was at. I was. I was opening on that show and there was 18,000 people at the show.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And you're like, yeah, I don't think this cancellation is, like, working.

[DJ]

This is awesome.

[Andy Vercella]

That's right.

[Tom Segura]

People were like overusing that term. And it's like, you know, I don't. He doesn't need me to defend him. But it was like one of those things where I'm like, no, no. Like, you're saying he's being canceled. What you're. What really happening is that some people are really pissed about something he said and that's fine. Like, that's how the world works. Like, not everyone's going to be like, yay for everything you say. But he's definitely not canceled. Like, yeah, he just had, you know, there's a. He's. He's doing stand up in an NBA arena right now and there's. It's completely sold out. Like, I think it's working out.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, yeah, no shit.

[DJ]

Makes it worse too, bro. Because like, they're like Dave Chappelle, comedian says, you know, trans people aren't. Whatever. It's like, he's a comedian.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, the reason it's funny is because. True, bro. Like, that's the thing. Like, it's true. That's what, that's why comedy's funny. It's true.

[DJ]

You're able to say, truth said, everybody's thinking about, everybody knows and just laugh about.

[Andy Vercella]

That's why it's so important to culture, man. Like, everybody's, you know, all this tension and this comes from people being too serious about and taking things too, too, you know, much to heart.

[Tom Segura]

And like, a lot of times the people that are the most upset about these, like, stand up things. The funny thing is not only have they not been to see that stand up live, sometimes they don't even watch the special and they write the article.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So it's like they're not even. Actually, they haven't seen. They haven't seen the actual performance. What they'll do is they'll read an excerpt. Like, literally, like, read it. So they just are reading the written word. And then they write an article about that, which is like, it's just this clickbaity bullshit, man. It's not real.

[Andy Vercella]

It's the world we live in.

[Tom Segura]

It's not real. It's like it's this manufactured thing where like, then people read that person's article who also haven't seen the thing. And the funny thing is all those people that are like, the most upset, dude, they wouldn't go to that show.

[DJ]

Anyway, never buy it.

[Tom Segura]

They're just commenting on some shit because it makes them feel like they're doing something to. To express how wrong these other people are. And it's like, dude, they're not even going. Like, it's all just. My point is it's just all noise. Like, it's just this sideshow thing that's not. You can be distracted by it, or the better thing you do is you just ignore it and you just realize that, like, it is somebody trying to get attention for themselves. It has to do with.

[Andy Vercella]

They don't have anything creatively to create on their own. So it's like all their fucking reaction videos on the Internet, which some of them I like, but like, dude, some of these. Their whole thing is. All I do is react to other people's like, bro, that's not creation of any.

[Tom Segura]

No, I know.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, and. And that's like a cheap way to get attention, in my opinion.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that. That is a whole lane. But yeah, it's. It goes like those people, you see the reaction video. So you know what it is? Half of the people that write articles, they're doing reaction articles, same thing. And they don't even watch the thing to react to. They just pick a word and they go, I'm gonna write an article about this. Yeah, like, okay.

[DJ]

It's crazy, man. So you're. So you're on tour right now? I was looking at the. Like, it's a long tour. You're going on for this.

[Tom Segura]

Two years. It's a two year tour. I. You know, my last tour was actually even busier, but this one is like. Yeah, I mean, you basically hit every major North American market and then you select other global markets to do and you take your time. Like, I like to take my time. Like, there's no point of, like rushing A tour?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So it's like. Yeah, I'll just take a couple years. You know, I'll. Next week is my last week of spring tour, and then I take most of the summer off.

[DJ]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

So it's like, you know, get some rest, hang out with the family, pick up in the fall. I'll shoot it in the next special in the fall. And then next year 26, I just have, like, some things to film, but I won't actually, like, tour, so it'll be like a much different, like, schedule for me.

[DJ]

What's the best and worst cities you've. You've had to do stand up?

[Tom Segura]

Well, the funny thing about you ain't.

[DJ]

Got to say St. Louis, it's fine.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, no. The funny thing about picking best of worst is that you learn over the course of time that sometimes you have a bad show in a city and then you go, this city sucks for stand up. And it really was just that night, you mean? Yeah. Or like, conversely, you'll go, this city is great. And so in your mind, you go, it'll be great. Then you show up in the shows, like, okay, and you're like, what happened? It's like those things, those can change year after year. You can go to a place where it was great and it's bad and bad. Now it's great. I think what you fall in love with are cities almost like, separate from the show. You know what I mean? Like, it's always fun for me to, like. I love going to Denver because I like the city of Denver. I like. I like the atmosphere, I like the restaurants. Like, I have a good time. And then the shows have usually been really fun for me. It's always fun to be. I like big cities, so I like going to New York. I like doing London. I like to, you know, I mean, like. But I have a lot of great places that. I mean, I love the beauty of like, like British Columbia, you know, like in the. In the Northwest, like the Vancouver area. I just like being in that atmosphere. And, you know, Chicago's always been like, a super fun city for me to go to. And, like, crowds have been fun, so I. I have fun in a lot of cities, man.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So you're like, living life as you go, too.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. You're trying to, like, you know, you know, a lot of times you don't have time to do that much. A lot of times we're doing like, Thursday one city, Friday night. So you don't really, like, get to enjoy the city that much. Yeah, but you know, sometimes you do have a little more. And like, like New York for instance. I just love the fact that you can walk the streets and you feel like you're in this vibrant city.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, it doesn't matter what time, it doesn't matter.

[Tom Segura]

I love that too. It's like it's and charges you, it charges you up. And I'm usually there for like couple days. So it's just so different than where I live in Austin. And I mean, going to New York like most of my life and it's just, you know, it's just still like the greatest city to visit and, and have fun in.

[Andy Vercella]

Totally agree, dude. It's my favorite place to go to for the exact same reason. Like, dude, you could walk out on the street at 2:30 in the morning, bro, and it's like it's noon.

[Tom Segura]

And also like you realize that it is funny that you can literally bring up anything and they're like, oh yeah, we have a store. You want elephant's feet? Yeah, we have that. Like anything that you bring up, like New York, any cuisine, any type of store, whatever you're looking for. Like, you could be like, I want pencils or you know, I want pens made from metal that are crafted from the 18th century. They're like, yeah, there's a store over here. You have that like anything you want that city has. Which is like, it just feels like you're, I don't know, like in this manufactured city almost like, it almost doesn't feel real for me still.

[Andy Vercella]

What's your favorite place to do to work outside of, outside the US Besides London?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I mean I, when I started like touring as a stand up, I, I would do Canada. That was like the first place to, to leave the country. Even though it's not that big of a departure. And it was always fun to, to do those shows up there. Australia has great, just, they're very fun people. Like Australians are fun. So I think it translates to their crowds. Like, I've had a lot of really fun shows in Australia. The people in the cities are, are great. But I've done, you know, I've done stand up in South America, in Argentina, in Chile. I've done Mexico City. I've done a lot of European cities and I've done Asia too. I've done Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore. So all those like the Asia tour was fucking just so cool because those cities are so different than what we're used to. And like the food is unbelievable. I've never had better food in my life. Than in Tokyo. I had. I knew that it would be good. I didn't know that, like.

[DJ]

Did you know what it was, though?

[Tom Segura]

Well, yeah. Yeah. I didn't know, like, how amazing lead. Like, you order a salad in Tokyo, and like, every bite you're like, this is the best salad I've ever had. That's crazy. And then they're like, you order a fruit plate and you take a bite of a strawberry and you're like, what the. And then you realize, like, how poisoned our food in this country, which is, like one of the most backwards things. You're like, why is our food so bad? You know, we're just spraying everything with pesticides. And then in Tokyo, I mean, I'm not kidding, dude. Like, you just. You order an omelette or, like, in the hotel, you're tired. Like, we're not going to go out to a nice, crazy. We're just going to go, like, here in the hotel, in the lobby, and you order a sirloin steak and you take. And you're like, this is the best fucking steak I've ever had in my entire life. Like, every meal was like that. Everything we had, we were like, this is amongst the best food I've ever had. And it was every day, no matter what we had. And then you order a cup of coffee and you're like, jesus Christ, this is the best coffee I've ever had in my life. That's what it was like to eat in Tokyo.

[DJ]

Shit, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was incredible.

[DJ]

Tokyo, man. I like food.

[Andy Vercella]

I've never been to Asia at all.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, dude, let me tell you, man. Like, there's. There's a lot. First of all, I should say there's a lot I haven't seen. But in the place, those. Those places that I've been, I mean, Hong Kong is a spectacle. It is like New York roided up. Like, it literally, you, like, you think you're seeing the downtown skyline, and then you go, like, around this bend and you see something like 20 times more buildings. And you're like, what is happening? Like, it's this massive, thriving, alive city. Not that Tokyo isn't. But the thing that stands out from Tokyo is, like, the Japanese people, the culture, you know, everybody in Japan, like the cashier at the 711 takes great pride in being in his. In their job. And you, like, you sense it, you know? I mean, there is no, like, I don't know, man. Like, there is none of that. People have, like, so you. This. This whole Japanese culture and way of being, like, it really is Impressive. You know, the. The pride people take in excellence. It's all about the reason, like, some of those foods are so great is they're like, yeah, that guy, he makes coffee and he's done that for 45 years. He takes pride, and he takes so much pride in it. It's like this meticulous, like, perfect thing. And you see that kind of in all parts of life. They are, like, gracious. Like, for a city with so many people. I mean, you know, on the morning commute, like, there's this famous thing you could find online of like, the rush of the subway. And you don't, like. It's all organized. There's no, like, people, like, off and like, being like. They're like, oh, yeah. No one's being an asshole because they know it's rude to be an asshole in the. You know, I mean, like, yeah, morning commute. Like, things like that where you're like, wow. And then Singapore is the cleanest. Like, you know, like, may almost make.

[Andy Vercella]

Because they beat people's asses.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, they don't around.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

They can your ass. Bare ass right in front of them.

[Tom Segura]

There's this thing when you land in Singapore where there's signs and you're going up. You're walking up to do you know customs, and it's just like, drugs punishable by death.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Tom Segura]

It's like, it's like all over. And then they hand you the form and it's like, we will kill you for drugs. And then you're like filling it out and you're like, do I have any drugs on me?

[DJ]

Drugs since 99, but I need to check real quick, dude.

[Tom Segura]

You start to panic. You're like, I gotta go through my backpack real quick because what if I have like a edible on me? They're like, oh, they will hang you.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. But then you get into that city and you. It's like. I mean, it's like. It's the cleanest place you've ever been, people. Again, super polite. It's just. It's a. It's a really cool experience. I mean, I can't encourage you enough to. To do an Asia trip.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, that'd be sick, dude. I got invited to by one of the guys on Instagram. He runs like, all the elephant reserves and he invited us to go over there and let's go see the elephants. Cool, man.

[DJ]

Let's go.

[Andy Vercella]

Elephants are fucking sweet.

[DJ]

Big.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. Well, they're smart too, bro. Yeah, super smart.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I hope I don't get like, Confused for one.

[Andy Vercella]

You could. You probably be able to ride one, man. I know you can't ride a horse, okay?

[DJ]

I can ride a fucking horse.

[Andy Vercella]

No, you can't. Oh, fucking kill the horse.

[DJ]

Tom, you got. You got two. Two boys, right?

[Tom Segura]

I have two boys. Yeah.

[DJ]

They're not like little kids, though, right?

[Tom Segura]

Six and nine.

[DJ]

Oh, it's just young.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's young.

[DJ]

That's right. Has that changed, like, your outlook on comedy at all the. You talk about. Maybe.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, for sure you talk about it because. Excuse me. I always felt like you should just talk about whatever's going on actually happening. Yeah. So, like, you know when, you know, your first hour set is, you, like, you're in your 20s, it's just, like, observations, and it's like TV shows. It's going out, you know, drinking part, whatever. And then, you know, it's like you're. You get engaged. You're like, well, I'm talking about that. You know, like, you're married. Like, you. You know those things that are. Whatever you're experiencing is like, you know, my dad died. Talk about that. You just talk about whatever's happening. So, like, kids. Sure. It's like, I don't want to do an hour on having kids, but, like, I always have something because they're. They're part of life. They're part of my life. And, you know, they're two little wild dudes, man. They're just. Just ruining everything we have. Like, basically, there's such little shits.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And they're both in jiu jitsu. And it's just like. It's so funny because the older one, he's like, I think I'm stronger than you. I'm like, you're definitely not stronger than me, dude. And he's like, you want to try? I'm like, yeah, sure. I mean, you're nine. I will you up, and then he'll try to, like, you know, mount me. And I'm like, just pick him up and put him down. He's like, oh, wow. You definitely are still stronger than me. I know this doesn't have, like, no expiration date, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna remind you of this for a while.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You gotta make it so bad to where you don't even try it again.

[Tom Segura]

What's that?

[DJ]

You gotta make it so bad, you don't try it again.

[Tom Segura]

I know. He's like, he's coming.

[Andy Vercella]

It sounds like he's gonna keep drying.

[DJ]

It's coming.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's what I'm Saying every day I get home, he takes his shirt off, he's like. And he goes, I'm gonna be so jacked. And the thing is, he has like these, like. He's like, lean, you know, I mean, like, he's already like, kind of muscular. And I'm like, I. I don't want to tell him, but I'm like, yeah, you probably are.

[DJ]

It's coming. Yeah, it's coming. Yeah, man. You're also an author.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You wrote a book. We got a. I Like to Play Alone, please.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

What's that about?

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's a collection of like, stories and essays. And my first, my oldest, he was doing a lot of like two cent, two word things when he was like a little kid, you know, and kind of like mixing around certain words. I was like, waiting for him to say his first full sentence. And then, you know, I mean, like, he'd be like, I do. I know. And I'm like, oh, he's. He's not like, we were waiting for like that first full sentence when he's like, I don't remember, man. Like 18 months or two or something like that. And then one day I got home and I sat down next to him, like in the playroom, and he just looked up at me, he goes, I'd like to play alone, please. And I was like, okay. So I was like, that was really exciting that you said a full sentence. It's also. He was like, get the fuck out of here. So. But the. The book is just a whole collection of stories, you know, some of them from my. My days as a comic, some of them from before then, but like, all types of different stories. Yeah.

[DJ]

Geez.

[Andy Vercella]

What did you do before that?

[Tom Segura]

Before.

[Andy Vercella]

Before comedy.

[Tom Segura]

Before comedy. Well, when I graduated college, my actual first. First thing I did is I went to Boston and I. My friend was doing real estate, and he was like. He's like, this is a crazy easy way to make a lot of money, which. For like a fresh college grad. I couldn't believe it. The whole system was that if you. Boston has 61 colleges and universities in the Boston metropolitan area, which is crazy amount. And all those people need housing. And so the way it works is like, you just. If you work in a real estate office, people just come in and they're like, I need an apartment. And then you show them an apartment. I don't know about Boston. I don't know. And they're just like, here's this one. And then if they sign up for it, they have to pay first. Last and another month equivalent to the real estate office. And then as a agent, you get half of that. So it's like, oh, damn. You know, free money.

[Andy Vercella]

You're just.

[Tom Segura]

Bro. It was just like this thing. I did it for a few months, but it was one of those things where I was like. Even though it was like. To me, it was a ton of. I mean, I'm 21 and like, they're just like, here's $4,000. Here's eight. I was like, holy shit. I was also like, oh, I know. I don't want to do this.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

It was like a real life lesson, because I was like, if it was just about the money, I should stay here and just keep doing this because it's like, crazy amount of money. I didn't want to do it. So then I went to D.C. and I actually worked for America's Most Wanted. That was like, really?

[Andy Vercella]

Wait, the show?

[Tom Segura]

The show? Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So I was, like, out hunting people or what?

[Tom Segura]

I mean, I was a. I would. I was a. A researcher. So, like. But they would. I had interned there in college, and then they offered me a gig, and the job was like, you had. I had to read all these, like, stories about, like, fugitives and. And different crimes. And then I would go in, like, the bullpen and pitch to, like, our story editor, hey, we should do. We should profile this guy. And you give him, like, the whole story in the background. And then they would discuss, and then they would go like, okay, we're gonna do that story. So then you'd be kind of like an associate producer on this particular person. And I did that for our. My first day was September 10th, 2001.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, God.

[Tom Segura]

So, yeah, it was a Monday. And. And then, yeah, we kind of started doing some different after that. And. But after three months of like, yeah, I hope we get him, too. I was like. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore either. So I moved to la, and my whole. My whole desire in moving to LA had nothing to do with stand up. I really thought that comedy acting was, like, what I would do. Like, you know, I. I had like, you know, Will Ferrell and all these guys. I was like, I want to do that.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So I kind of went out there with, like, that objective, and I. I was going to the Groundlings, which is like a comedy improv school, and troop, like, they train you and then they put on shows. And when I was in that school, you know, just taking the classes, I met other standups who were like, they were the Ones who were like, you should try stand up. They're like, I think you would, like, stand up. And I was like, I don't even know what to do. And these guys kind of took me around to watch them, like, hey, watch them do. I don't know. How do you even prepare for it? And that got me started doing stand up, but I always still wanted to do the. The comedy acting thing, which is, like, why the show Bad Thoughts is, like, so fulfilling to me, because I also remember that that was, like, my first dream. Like, my dream was to do stories.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know what I mean? And so I still love Stand. Like, stand up has been amazing for me, and I. It is so fun, but I always wanted to do that. So in my. In my head, like, making this show feels like, oh, this thing I wanted to do for 20 years, you know? I mean, like, it's. It's very fulfilling.

[DJ]

That's real, man. Dude. So I'm. I'm a lot younger, obviously.

[Tom Segura]

Obviously.

[DJ]

Obviously. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know it's hard to tell you. Black don't crack, you know, so it's like.

[Tom Segura]

Plus, you paint your beard. I get it. Keep going.

[DJ]

I could be, like, 40, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. But, dude, like, I remember the first time I heard about you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

There was a video at a basketball court.

[Tom Segura]

That's the first time.

[DJ]

That was the first time. That was, like, memorable for me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's pretty memorable. Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I'm talking about? Can we talk about it?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sure.

[DJ]

All right, so I got. I got the clip. This is the OG Clip. Let's watch this clip.

[Tom Segura]

You've never seen this, Andy?

[Andy Vercella]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, you're not. That's the best part. Hasn't happened yet.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh. Oh.

[Tom Segura]

Pretty bad.

[Andy Vercella]

What kind of injury was that?

[Tom Segura]

2 at the same time. It was double whammy.

[Andy Vercella]

So shoulder and arm.

[Tom Segura]

No. What happens? Like, a lot of people don't know. So we had been playing basketball for a while.

[Andy Vercella]

I mean, how the do you even do that, man?

[Tom Segura]

It's pretty crazy, actually.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And so you do that on purpose? Absolutely not. So what happened was this is the part that, like. Because people only see this clip.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So right before this, Bert and I are having a dunk contest. Okay. And so we start. It was a rim that you can lower. And so we were like, who can dunk higher? So I'm 247 right there, by the way. Yeah, you were a thickie. So we do it seven and a half. Eight. Eight. And a half. Nine. I dunk on nine. He doesn't. It's over. Like, I already. I won the comp. Like there was. Everyone's like, yay. And as we're like walking away to do our net, we're going to do something completely different. One of them was like, hey, man, I think you can go a little higher. And I was like, huh? And they're like, I think. I think you got a little. You got a little more room in you. And I go. I remember internally being like, I don't know, man. That was like, that felt like the kind of the limit, you know? I was like, okay. So they crank it up to nine three. So that like the hoop is set at nine three. I'm back here. Like, there's a guy off camera, he's like, hey, man, dig deep. And I go, I go, all right. Yeah. And I remember internally just being like, man, I don't know if I have these extra 3 inches right when I'm running there, when I push off. What you don't. The reason. That's like my left patellar tendon snaps. Oh, okay. So the patellar tendon snaps. And then instinctively, like, it's not a thought thing. You're, you know, your body, like, I guess tries to protect your head. This arm goes here. I land on it, shatter the arm. So it was left patellar tendon and left humerus. Like, I mean, that's the, the scar. I don't know if you can see it from there. And then I had major nerve damage. So I had another surgery to take a nerve from here and put it in here. So. But that happened, you know, you see the video and you're just like, what is this? But like, it was that we were doing all this shit. The real reason that this likely happened is that I was like out of shape. And like, yeah, I used to play basketball 20 years before then. And then we just show up one day and you're like, oh, let's like put the demands of like jumping as hard as you can on this out of shape body. And then your body just goes, nah, bro, not today.

[Andy Vercella]

That's how it feels though. Because like, you. You remember that you could do shit.

[Tom Segura]

Exactly.

[Andy Vercella]

And you think you could still do shit.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And then you figure out very quickly that, well, there's a cannot.

[Tom Segura]

The term that I was told because, you know, I went to the hospital, I had surgery, then I went to recovery center. All this pt, like, all this. The term that I had never heard, they were like, oh, you're a. @ the. When you're doing this, you're a deconditioned athlete, meaning, like, you are. You're. So. You're putting the demands of what you did on yourself when you're like, oh, I'm 18. This is what I used to do. But your body is like, no, we're not at all prepared for this. And then your body just goes, go yourself.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. I saw myself on video. This is probably about a year ago. I was. This is so stupid, but I had this rotted tree in my yard, and I was, like, trying to make a video of, like, me pushing it over.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And fucking. Dude. So, like, when I pushed it over, I, like, ran three feet, and I saw the video, and I'm like, holy fuck, bro. Like, you cannot move anymore.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

And then I showed it to my brother. He's Obviously, I've heard the end of it, but. Yeah, yeah, dude, I'm. That. You can't. You can't comprehend that. Like, you got it. Yeah. No, you don't. You never had it, bro.

[Tom Segura]

This is like, you know, the basketball dudes, men in their 40s in basketball, if they're not continuously playing, especially if they just go, I'm gonna play. I used to play ball. I'm gonna play today. It is the. What leads to, like, the most. Like, they go, oh, dude. All we see are, like, ACL Achilles tears, like, all the time. Because it's. It's. You don't. Basketball is so accessible to us. Like, we all grow up playing. But you don't realize, like, what kind of demands if you're not playing regularly, what force you're putting on, you know, like, so explosive. Like, it's pivoting, it's jumping as hard as you can, and if you're doing that out of nowhere, it's, you know, it can really obviously go, well. Yeah. Yeah, I.

[Andy Vercella]

Look. That looked painful.

[DJ]

Yeah, it was pretty bad. Let's talk. Y H. YMH Studios. Yeah. So how long has that been rolling?

[Tom Segura]

Well, I mean, it's. The flagship show for us is. Is called your mom's house. Ymh. And then we started producing other people's podcasts.

[DJ]

God, how many you got now? I mean, it's like 15.

[Tom Segura]

No, but it's probably like, seven, eight maybe, something like that. We launched another one, but yeah, I mean, it just became like, you know, we. We sort of slowly built the infrastructure to do it. Like, you know, obviously, you start with, like, the physical space, and then you have a. A team that can produce and like, you know, the, the tech guys and, and the, the social media stuff started to branch out from there and then. Yeah, it just became this thing. And then we, we, we start our own ad sales company. So like, instead of having like an ex, like a, an outside company, we have an internal company. So we, we built an infrastructure to do all this and then it just kind of naturally became like this thing for tv, film too. So it's started with that and then it started to branch out. Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So is this in Austin?

[Tom Segura]

It's in Austin, yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So. So do people come into the building to record their shows?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So you have multiple studios?

[Tom Segura]

We have multiple studios.

[Andy Vercella]

That's cool, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. And yeah, it's a, It's a fun environment. Like, it's, you know, it's a, it's a lot of comedians that are popping in and out and like, staff is just fantastic there. And. Yeah, it's like, it's now it just feels like, you know, like the. Yeah, the norm. But it was a slow, for sure, slow process.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, that's cool, man. We thought about. We were thinking about doing something similar up here, but then we figured out that nobody wants to come here at all.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Where to your office?

[Andy Vercella]

St. Louis.

[DJ]

Oh, it's a flyover state. That's what a lot of people call it. Yeah, I mean, food and good people here, man.

[Tom Segura]

I know, it's. It is. I mean, look, it's way easier. It was way easier to book people in la.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, know, it's like, it's just easy to be like, drive down here. But yeah, we try to, like, you know, you monitor, we monitor schedules, like who's coming in to play the venues and all that stuff. And sometimes if it works out, it works out. Some people do fly in for it, you know, which is, it's nice. I think they sometimes have other business in the city, which helps. Right, if they're coming in for, for another event.

[DJ]

Yeah, Austin's a hub right now.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's been, it makes it a lot easier. It's become really popular.

[DJ]

Sweet, man.

[Andy Vercella]

I love it down there, dude. I think Austin's cool as.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it is a good time, man. It's a good.

[Andy Vercella]

I like walking around. Like, the people, you know, they're a little weird. Yeah, they're. They're a little left, but like, they're not California left.

[Tom Segura]

No, it's. It's like it's a blue city in a red state. But the thing is, you're still In Texas, dude.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, you know, I mean, like. And the truth is, I feel like it's actually pretty mixed.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Like, when you're in the city, even if you're like, oh, this is a pretty, you know, liberal place or whatever, it's. It's just moderately liberal. And they're.

[Andy Vercella]

They're cool. They're not.

[DJ]

It wasn't like this pushy. It was cool because we. We stayed. We went down there a few. Few weeks ago, a month ago, a couple of months ago.

[Andy Vercella]

What was that? A couple years ago? Decade ago.

[Tom Segura]

Mm.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah. I think never like 1940 or something like that.

[Tom Segura]

1940. Yeah.

[DJ]

But we stay right around the corner from the mothership.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And down there. And it was a sweet area. Like, even at night, I think it was like, on Thursday night was packed. Was jumping down there.

[Tom Segura]

Sixth Street.

[Andy Vercella]

Is it packed like that all the time?

[Tom Segura]

Sixth street is like, that's where the club is. That area is a. Is a. I mean, yeah, it's a party area. It's bars and clubs and. Yeah, it's always bumping, man.

[DJ]

Well, sweet. Let's get it. I want to. I want to do some reaction clips with you guys. So I got some viral clips that are happening right now.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, so we're gonna do what? We just talk on a little bit.

[DJ]

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. I think.

[Andy Vercella]

But no, I think it's different that we do it.

[DJ]

It's different. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So I got three clips here for you to react to. This first one, dude, this guy is making. Making rounds around the Internet right now.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[DJ]

His name is Frederick Vosgrove, I believe is his name.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he looks Eastern European.

[DJ]

He's German.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he's German. Okay.

[DJ]

He calls himself the, like the German Neanderthal.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, I mean, it suits him.

[DJ]

But let's check this little hype video out from him. Here's the clip.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, I kind of like it. I'm be real. That's some savage.

[DJ]

Well, I'm not gonna lie. He scares the out of me.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's. There's different humans out there, and that is. That guy was probably built to do exactly this to. To laugh. Like he's got three brain cells firing and. And just maul people.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, he looks part animal.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. How good of a fighter is he?

[DJ]

He's amateur, but I think he's undefeated right now. He's amateur fighters moving up. But I think he's at like 320 some thousand on. On IG right now. I Mean, he's. He's growing.

[Andy Vercella]

He's up and coming, huh?

[DJ]

He's up and coming.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He's a scary dude.

[DJ]

Dude.

[Tom Segura]

That's the kind of dude where you're.

[DJ]

Like, I'll shoot these kind of guys. I shoot him. I'm not fighting you.

[Andy Vercella]

Jesse created marketing play, bro. Like. Like, if I was like, a dog food company, you know what I'm saying? Like a sponsor. This.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, dude, this dude is straight up on our.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Vercella]

You want to be an animal?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Eat this. You know what I'm saying? Like, there's a play there.

[Tom Segura]

Gunther's a dog man.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, that's right.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

First human athlete for dude.

[DJ]

I feel like he. Like, he looks like a character in the Bible. Like a.

[Tom Segura]

He looks like a movie character. Like the. Yeah, that's in for sure. Kind of thing. You shouldn't be in here. You're in Munich for whatever reason. And, like, you just turn the corner and he's like. You're like, oh, yeah, you are. You are black. Get out of. Yeah, no, you better have a gun with that.

[Andy Vercella]

You. I don't even know if that'll work.

[DJ]

It might not. Yeah, silver bullets, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Like.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's some different.

[Andy Vercella]

That's a different. Yeah, that's right. That's a different kind of dude right there, man.

[DJ]

Look at his traps. Good God. All right, next one. Let's go to New Orleans. You ever been to New Orleans?

[Tom Segura]

Many times.

[DJ]

Yeah, I like New Orleans, bro. New Orleans is sick. They got a new story down in New Orleans. They had 10 inmates escape a jail.

[Tom Segura]

Hell, yeah.

[DJ]

Through a cell wall where the toilet was.

[Tom Segura]

I saw this.

[DJ]

You saw this?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, man. Yeah.

[DJ]

So it was a rectangular hole in the cell. It was big enough to squeeze through. And then they actually wrote on top of the walls right above it saying, too easy. Lol.

[Tom Segura]

Suck my dick. They wrote, too.

[DJ]

So let's check this clip. This is from, like, the news conference, and they're showing them all. All leaving out. And let's check this out.

[Tom Segura]

Bro. What.

[Andy Vercella]

What the. Are we watching here?

[DJ]

Oh, they're pulling the door, trying to escape. Yeah, they broke the.

[Andy Vercella]

Thought he was humping the door. We'll provide this to.

[DJ]

Cuz. They're trying to get into that sale. That's a sale that they broke out of.

[Tom Segura]

Oh. Subsequently, they go inside that cell. And this is where you see them exiting the loading dock door.

[DJ]

As you know, if you notice, they are carrying blankets with them, bro. This road that they're going Out. Out of.

[Andy Vercella]

Is behind this building.

[DJ]

As I explained, they subsequently go through another door, hop the highway here. At some point, you will see them come through here and they scale the fence through this door.

[Tom Segura]

That. That's near the construction site. Yeah.

[DJ]

Steal that fence and then make good on their escape, crossing all lanes.

[Tom Segura]

Way to stay on top of, guys. The cool thing about this story is that they escaped around 12:30, and the sheriff's office there found out at 8:30am oh, and then they notified the public after 10:30. So just a cool little ten and a half hour head start for these guys.

[DJ]

Well, apparently they caught, like, two of them, so.

[Tom Segura]

Two or three. Yeah, but that means there's like seven dudes out there still, and I'm surprised.

[Andy Vercella]

They had to escape, bro. I thought they just let these out now.

[Tom Segura]

I mean, that's true. They. Some of them are. Are in for murder.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Tom Segura]

For sure. There's some wild dogs out there, right? Yeah.

[DJ]

I say they get. They get Frederick down there to go. Go check. Go catch.

[Tom Segura]

Hell yeah. No, that is. That's crazy. That's why they just moved the toilet and just did a. Opened a wall and were able to escape and then scale a wall. And, like, nobody sees that. That's really nuts to me. At a jail.

[Andy Vercella]

That's our taxpayer dollars, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that is.

[DJ]

I feel like a Common song should have been playing right there. You know what I'm saying? Like, freedom, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

It's like the Shawshank Redemption.

[DJ]

That's what it was. That's what it was. Last one. Let's go to some sports that maybe put this in. All right, so, apologies. Let's check this clip out.

[Tom Segura]

Whoa.

[DJ]

This is women's soccer.

[Tom Segura]

That's awesome.

[Andy Vercella]

That is awesome.

[Tom Segura]

I could watch that all day.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, that's an accomplishment.

[DJ]

Took out two, two and one.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[DJ]

Two birds with one stone.

[Andy Vercella]

I. That's. That's an accomplishment, bro. Did you guys see that baseball clip where the two plays happened at the. The two exact same plays happened in the same inning, like.

[DJ]

Like decades apart or whatever.

[Andy Vercella]

No. One inning after another. It was. It was. Yeah, it was the same play. The. The. Dude, you have to look it up, man. It's. It's crazy.

[DJ]

This is like a glitch in the matrix or something.

[Andy Vercella]

100%. It's unbelievable. We got to find it, throw it in there, because, like, it's. It's like, holy. But anyway, like, this. They. They. The dude hits a ground ball at the third basement, goes off his hip. Shortstop, catcher throws him out at first. Same count, same inning. Like everything's the same batter. No, no, but it's one team does it and then the next. Like, in the same inning. Yeah, yeah, dude. It's like you can overlay the clips and they're. Yeah, dude, I'm. I don't know either, man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's the freaky stuff that does make you go, like, what is happening here?

[DJ]

I got it.

[Andy Vercella]

You got it, bro. It's. Admit it. For real. Like, there's. That's happening, and it seems to be happening more and more. It's like. Like, are we really in the Matrix?

[Tom Segura]

We know the aliens are coming, dude. Dude, they're telling us.

[Andy Vercella]

Dude, did you know. Did you know that? Did you know that? The lady who wrote the. You probably know this, but, like, I didn't know this till recently, but the lady who wrote the Matrix also wrote Terminator.

[DJ]

Oh, I heard about that.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And she said that. Like, that. Like, it's supposed to be like, a sequel or whatever.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. John Connor is supposed to be Jesus Christ to save the world from the artificial intelligence. And, bro, the. The interview is fascinating. I can't think of her name. You got that clip, though?

[DJ]

Yeah, I got the clip. Here. Yeah, here it is.

[Andy Vercella]

Same. All right, stop. Check this out. Same inning. That's the same game. Yeah, same inning, same pitch, speed, same count. Same number of outs in the inning. Same play.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's weird.

[Andy Vercella]

And that's not like a. If you guys aren't watching this, it's not like it's a regular ground ball.

[Tom Segura]

Like.

[Andy Vercella]

Play one more time. Dude, watch. Watch the position of the players.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's freaky.

[DJ]

That is crazy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

What are the odds of that?

[Tom Segura]

The way. Especially because of where it went. And then the bounce.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

The shortstop on both.

[Andy Vercella]

And, dude, that was one. That's the top of an inning, the bottom of an inning, same pitch. Be. Same count, same exact play. Like, dude, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I wonder if everyone in that stadium was like, what's going on?

[Andy Vercella]

I don't know, man. Like, dude, more and more shit's happening where I'm like, man, do you follow?

[Tom Segura]

All. Because my wife is obsessed with all the alien.

[Andy Vercella]

Dude, I cover it.

[DJ]

We cover it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, we cover it pretty regularly. But, like, I. I'm not, like, super, super, super into it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, because she follows, like, all the congressional. Like, because the hearings and. Yeah, one thing.

[DJ]

Real aliens or the government. You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Segura]

But, like, it's one of the things that's really crazy is like you. We used to have this thing where you'd be like, what if you know. And then you have these whistleblowers that were like, you know, working in top secret places in the government. They came out and they go like, here's all this. And then they need like security because they're scared they're gonna get killed. And they basically go, you know, we. We do have, you know, whatever UAPs and we have alien bodies basically, and we've had them for years. And then you're like, why? How come nobody is reacting? Like it's so weird that everyone's like, they confirm it. They're like, we do have this. And everyone's like, yeah, anyway. And you're like, right, wait, that doesn't freak people out anymore. Right. Like, I always felt like it was strange that you would have somebody confirm this stuff. And we've had these and so has China has one. And like, you know, different governments have these bodies and. And has this technology, like reverse engineering technology. And then everyone's like, yeah, okay.

[Andy Vercella]

Dude, it was weird how they did that. They did that during COVID Yeah, it was like, you know, all this was covet was going on and they running the death count and all this. And then they're like, oh, by the way, aliens are real.

[Tom Segura]

Aliens are real.

[Andy Vercella]

And no one said anything, but nobody cares.

[DJ]

Yeah, that was weird because communicated with.

[Andy Vercella]

It for our lifetime. That's been the big debate.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Are aliens real or are they not, of course. And it's just like. Yeah, you know, it came out and then people are more worried about their tick tock dances to even. They don't even mention it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, even. It actually even makes it feel more like deliberate and calculated that they would kind of like slow play it during a time of unrest and. And have it just kind of like, you know, here you go. And then everybody's just like, yeah. And then you have people going, wait, don't you want to.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Make this a bigger deal. And like, I don't care.

[DJ]

See, I don't know if it's like a real thing or if it's fucking like the government. You know what I'm saying? Well, like, I mean, conditioning, man.

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. It seems like there was a lot of people that didn't want like these. These. The whistleblowers were terrified.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

You know, so I don't think that like it doesn't feel like the government was trying to say like, go ahead and do that, you know? But the funny thing is that these guys were terrified to. To say what they said. And then basically people were like, I don't care.

[DJ]

Yeah. Anyways, like, does Michelle Obama have a dick or not? Like, that's what they're worried about. Yeah, bro. It's crazy. No shit, dude. It's weird. It is weird, man. Tom, can we do another game? I got another game for him.

[Andy Vercella]

What's the game?

[DJ]

Wwtd.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[DJ]

What would Tom do?

[Tom Segura]

What would Tom do?

[DJ]

Sure.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[DJ]

Let's just.

[Tom Segura]

All right.

[DJ]

All right, so I got three scenarios for you, and I need your real reaction to what you would actually do here.

[Tom Segura]

Okay?

[DJ]

Okay. Your son Julian joins Antifa.

[Tom Segura]

Cut him out of the will, that's for sure. Like, what the are you doing? He's such a fiery little dude. It's absolutely hilarious. We call him Joe Pesci at the house. He's always like, the. Is this doing here? How do you talk like that, man?

[DJ]

Have you ever had to do with Antifa at all?

[Tom Segura]

Have I had to deal with them?

[DJ]

No, no, you never had, like. Because I'm sure you get, like, countless, you know, hate whatever you want to call it, hate comments and like. But you never had, like, fit, like, actual issues.

[Tom Segura]

No, I've never had anything like that. I also. I'm trying to picture my youngest. He's like. He likes. He sleeps with an eye mask. He's six. He's like, I need an eye mask. I'm like, dude, like, he's. He. It's way too uncomfortable for him to join it. He would be like, wait, we have to go where he's always. He's like. He's six and he's like, can I get a massage today? I'm like, a massage?

[Andy Vercella]

He's kush, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, he's.

[Andy Vercella]

He's.

[Tom Segura]

He's living a good life.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, that's.

[Tom Segura]

He's not joining, but I don't know. I think I'd be so impressed that he actually was willing to be.

[Andy Vercella]

Sounds like your older one would be the leader, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Was that.

[Andy Vercella]

He'd be the leader.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

He. Get him in shape, bro.

[Tom Segura]

Thank. That older one. I think he would be like, the one who would be like, oh, we're. We're gonna break. He's like, yeah, I'm in, bro. I know I would be. No. Hell no.

[DJ]

All right, next one. Your dog only responds to gender neutral pronouns.

[Tom Segura]

We're really big when people. We have a cat now, and when they go, she's beautiful, we always go, don't misgender my cat. So we. We would definitely stand up. Yes. We like to take it seriously.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's real.

[Andy Vercella]

We do that too, bro. Everybody thinks Charlie's a boy. Yeah, everybody. We got two bulldogs, and everybody thinks the girl one, who is very clearly a girl.

[DJ]

Very clearly.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. We always correct them. Don't misgender my cat.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro. There's this dude. I think. What's his name? I think he's a geno on Instagram. So he does this thing where he hops in trans people's lives, like, live streams, like, oh, I see you have a dog. I'm like, yeah, this is, you know, Bruno. It's like, is it a girl or a boy? Like, oh, Bruno's a boy. And then he's like, how do you know? And then you're so pissed.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, boy.

[DJ]

It is the. Like, I absolutely love that content.

[Andy Vercella]

It's very easy to troll those people, dude.

[DJ]

It's so easy.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

It's so easy. All right, I got one more for you. Okay. You find out your mom has been catfishing men on Facebook using your headshots from your Netflix special.

[Tom Segura]

Dude, I applaud her. Yeah. Just for being crazy. And, like, you've been doing some awesome.

[DJ]

Content with your mom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, she's. She's a. She's a real piece of work. So she's got a lot of personality. So, yeah, we bring her around a lot. She's very disapproving of most of the things I do, which is kind of fun, you know? Like, she hated the show so much.

[Andy Vercella]

Really?

[Tom Segura]

She hates. She called me. She goes, I finished it and then was just quiet. And I go, what'd you think? She goes, this horrendous. Us?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

She goes, it's the worst thing. She goes, I have friends. You know how embarrassing it is that I have to see my friends after this?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I'm like. I don't know what to say. And she was like. Anyway. I go, that's was. The phone call was just to tell me you hated it. She was like, yes. Okay. So, yeah, and then she always says this. She's like. I go, that's really nice. She goes, well, I can't help but be myself. And I go, you could try. You could try to be somebody else. I think we would all appreciate it if you weren't you.

[Andy Vercella]

Thanks, Mom.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I would love if she was into catfishing people.

[DJ]

Right?

[Tom Segura]

Right.

[DJ]

It'd be solid, man. That'd be solid. Sweet, man.

[Andy Vercella]

We kind of did this on short notice, Tom. Was coming in to get swole.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, man, I can't wait. Your gym looks unbelievable. Thank you for letting us work out.

[Andy Vercella]

Oh, bro, listen, man, Anytime, dude. Anytime you come through.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you.

[Andy Vercella]

Thanks for sitting down with us, man.

[Tom Segura]

My pleasure, man.

[Andy Vercella]

It's a little short podcast we did on a short notice this morning, but, dude, I really appreciate it.

[Tom Segura]

Appreciate you, too. Thanks. It was a lot of fun, guys.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. And, dude, you know, I really appreciate how. I just want to say this. I really appreciate how not just good you are at what you do, but how meticulous you are about it. I think it's awesome, dude.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, thanks.

[Andy Vercella]

And I don't think people understand, like, how much work and attention to detail and, you know, strategy and everything goes into, like, what you guys do and learning more and more about it. It's. It's cool, man.

[Tom Segura]

Thank you, man. I appreciate that. Really appreciate it.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, guys. Tom, thank you, brother.

[Tom Segura]

Thanks so much.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, and we will. We'll see you next time. Don't be a hoe Share the show.

[DJ]

We'Re from Sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze pole stove counted millions in the coast Bad booty swole got her own bank row can't fold just a no head shot case closed, close.