889. Q&AF: Loyal But Stuck, Ethical Dilemma & Dealing With Bitter Coworkers

Summary

Summary of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella" - Episode 889: Q&AF: Loyal But Stuck, Ethical Dilemma & Dealing With Bitter Coworkers

Release Date: June 2, 2025
Host: Andy Frisella
Episode Title: Q&AF: Loyal But Stuck, Ethical Dilemma & Dealing With Bitter Coworkers

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Entrepreneur Andy Frisella returns with Episode 889 of his show "REAL AF," where he delves into listener-submitted questions addressing real-world business and personal challenges. This episode focuses on three primary topics: navigating workplace stagnation despite loyalty, ethical considerations in making money, and managing toxic coworkers.

Introduction to Q&AF Format [00:02 - 02:44]

Andy kicks off the episode by explaining the Q&AF (Questions and Answers for the Future) format, encouraging listeners to submit their questions via email, YouTube comments, or live calls. He outlines upcoming segments like "Cruise the Internet," "Real Talk," and "75 Hard Verses," emphasizing the show's commitment to providing value without relying on advertisements.

Andy Frisella [00:37]: "If the show makes you laugh, makes you think, gives you a new perspective, which it will do, do us a favor and share the show."

Announcements and Show Updates [02:44 - 06:00]

Andy and DJ discuss the excitement surrounding their first live show scheduled for Friday at 1 PM, highlighting plans to embark on a tour. They share enthusiasm about engaging with a live audience and the potential positive impact of this new venture.

Listener Question 1: Loyalty but Stuck in the Workplace [05:12 - 24:00]

Caller: Adriana's Dilemma

Adriana calls in seeking advice on her frustration as a manager who feels underutilized and unsupported by her company's leadership. Despite her efforts to implement standard operating procedures (SOPs) and contribute significantly to the business, she faces resistance and a lack of follow-through from the owner.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Lack of Empowerment:

   • Adriana [06:04]: "At what point do you stop pouring into something, especially when it won't receive what I bring to the team?"

2. Leadership and Communication:

   • Andy [10:31]: Emphasizes the importance of clear communication and understanding potential underlying reasons for the owner's hesitation.

3. Taking Initiative:

   • Andy [12:11]: Advises Adriana to take actionable steps despite uncertainty, highlighting the potential growth and learning opportunities.

4. Mutual Responsibility:

   • Andy [17:03]: Stresses that both leadership and employees share responsibility in fostering a productive environment.

5. Opportunity for Growth:

   • Andy [22:37]: Encourages Adriana to view the situation as a chance to earn trust and demonstrate her value, ultimately benefiting both her career and the company.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [10:31]: "Is she giving you a reason why? Is she waiting for you to follow through?"

Andy Frisella [22:37]: "You have nothing to lose... Sometimes you just got to do it and show them."

Conclusion:

Andy advises Adriana to proactively implement her ideas to demonstrate their effectiveness, thereby compelling the owner to recognize and support her contributions. He underscores the importance of self-respect and taking decisive action to either enhance the current workplace or seek opportunities elsewhere.

Listener Question 2: Ethical Dilemma in Making Money [24:55 - 43:07]

Caller: Ethical Pricing Conundrum

A listener questions the ethical implications of accepting payment for services, expressing discomfort about charging an elderly widow $500 for a yard and land service.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Value-Based Pricing:

   • Andy [31:04]: Advocates for setting prices based on the value delivered rather than personal discomfort.

2. Long-Term Ethics vs. Short-Term Gains:

   • Andy [33:48]: Highlights that unethical practices may provide immediate profits but ultimately lead to business failure.

3. Evolving Perceptions of Wealth:

   • Andy [38:07]: Discusses how the Internet has transformed accountability, debunking the stereotype that wealthy individuals are inherently unethical.

4. Transparency and Quality:

   • Andy [40:35]: Uses Apple as an example of a company that commands premium prices due to superior quality, reinforcing that ethical value provision leads to sustained success.

5. Handling Discounts and Free Services:

   • Andy [34:06]: Advises against offering discounts to avoid devaluing services, suggesting offering services for free only when genuinely appropriate.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [31:04]: "There’s only one way to make money long term. It’s by solving problems."

Andy Frisella [38:08]: "For the last 25 years, there has been accountability... you are rewarded with money for the value you deliver."

Andy Frisella [42:32]: "Do it for free or do it for full price. I don’t do any negotiating, all right?"

Conclusion:

Andy encourages the caller to embrace ethical pricing by either offering services at full price or for free when appropriate, avoiding discounts that can undermine the perceived value. He underscores that building a reputation based on genuine value and transparency ensures long-term profitability and trust.

Listener Question 3: Dealing with a Bitter Coworker [43:08 - 64:57]

Caller: Josh's Workplace Conflict

Josh, a technician at a Ford dealership, faces hostility from a coworker after being assigned specialized transmission rebuilding tasks. Despite his respectful attempts to address the issue, the coworker remains spiteful, and management has been unresponsive.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Understanding the Root Cause:

   • Andy [47:50]: Suggests that the coworker's bitterness stems from a scarcity mindset and fear of job security.

2. Conflict Resolution Strategies:

   • Andy [48:16]: Recommends confronting the coworker with a composed and solution-oriented conversation, preferably in the presence of a manager to ensure accountability.

3. Balancing Respect and Assertiveness:

   • Andy [55:06]: Emphasizes the importance of self-respect alongside respect for others, discouraging passive tolerance of disrespectful behavior.

4. Final Measures:

   • Andy [60:14]: Advises maintaining professionalism while standing firm against hostility, and if necessary, considering moving to a more supportive work environment.

Notable Quotes:

Andy Frisella [47:50]: "He probably thinks you're trying to take his job."

Andy Frisella [55:06]: "You have to respect yourself also. And laying down and let him walk all over you is not self respect."

Andy Frisella [64:57]: "Don't be a hoe. Share the show."

Conclusion:

Andy guides Josh to address the conflict directly yet respectfully, encouraging a dialogue aimed at mutual understanding and collaboration. He underscores the necessity of protecting one's self-esteem and professional integrity, while also recognizing when it might be time to seek a healthier work environment.

Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks [64:57 - End]

Andy wraps up the episode by reinforcing the week’s "heat" topics, emphasizing the importance of ethical conduct and proactive problem-solving in both personal and professional spheres. He reiterates the show's call to action for listeners to share the content, fostering a community of realists committed to growth and authenticity.

Andy Frisella [64:57]: "Don't be a hoe. Share the show."

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Key Takeaways:

1. Proactive Leadership: Taking initiative and demonstrating value can compel leadership to recognize and support dedicated team members.

2. Ethical Business Practices: Maintaining integrity in pricing and service delivery fosters long-term success and trustworthiness.

3. Conflict Management: Addressing workplace hostility with respect and firmness preserves self-respect and professional relationships.

4. Continuous Growth: Embracing challenges and ethical standards is vital for personal and business development in a competitive environment.

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This episode of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella" provides actionable insights for listeners grappling with workplace challenges, ethical dilemmas in business, and interpersonal conflicts, all delivered with Andy's characteristic bluntness and motivational flair.

Transcript

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case close. What is up, guys? It's Andy Vercella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a couple different ways.

[DJ]

First way is, guys, email these questions into ask andyfacella.com or you go on.

[Andy Vercella]

YouTube on the Q and A F episodes go down in the link right underneath the video. Click that link and you could submit your question there to be a caller on the show. Or you just leave your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Other times throughout the week, we're going to have other types of shows. Tomorrow we're going to have cti. That stands for Cruise the Internet. Cruise the Internet is where we take topics going on in the world. We put them on the screen, we laugh about them, make fun of them, we talk about what's really going on, we speculate on what's really going on and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life sucked and how it doesn't suck now because they did the 75 hard program. If you are unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which can be found for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208-audio feed only. There's a book available on my website called the Book on Mental Toughness. It includes the entire program plus a whole bunch of other stuff on mental toughness. Basically a whole new book on mental toughness. You can get that. It's not free, but it is very in depth and people love it. We're usually out of it, but I think we have some right now. So what else? Oh, we got a fee. The fee is very simple. If the show makes you laugh, it makes you think. If it gives you a new perspective, if it helps you, which it will do us a Favor and share the show. We don't run ads on the show. We don't try to monetize the show and make it this big thing. I'm a successful entrepreneur. I finance the show myself. I don't want to be told what I can or can't say. So all I ask from you guys is that you help us share the show. All right? So don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up?

[DJ]

Top of the morning to you.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. Good morning.

[DJ]

Yeah. How's it going?

[Andy Vercella]

Good.

[DJ]

Yeah. Got a big week this week.

[Andy Vercella]

Big week. Summer Smash.

[DJ]

Laying out some stuff.

[Andy Vercella]

Our first live show ever.

[DJ]

First live show.

[Andy Vercella]

First live show ever. Yeah. Live. Like with a live cry.

[DJ]

With a live studio audience.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. That is Friday at 1.

[DJ]

At 1pm, yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Friday at 1 here at HQ. The first live relay of.

[DJ]

It's gonna be sick.

[Andy Vercella]

It is gonna be awesome. I can't wait till we start our tour.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

You know I'm saying, our tour.

[DJ]

What was the wink for?

[Andy Vercella]

Cuz I'm. People don't know the intricacies of the tour.

[DJ]

Oh, gotcha.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Of a tour.

[Andy Vercella]

There's a secret thing about the tour. You don't know.

[DJ]

Yeah, man. I'm excited, though. It's gonna be cool, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

I think. I think it's gonna kick ass.

[DJ]

I think so, too. Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

I think so too.

[Andy Vercella]

I love doing the crowd shit.

[DJ]

We should open up with like, some, like. Some like two minutes of stand up.

[Andy Vercella]

I think we should open up with like two minutes of just blatant racism. Listen, I think that's unavoidable.

[DJ]

Sold. Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

According to the Internet, I'll be. Since we are the farthest. Right. And the. The most miss. Yeah, I still love that.

[DJ]

That's great.

[Andy Vercella]

I love that we were ranked number one as opposed to them. That means we're the best.

[DJ]

I love it. I love it. No, it's gonna be great.

[Andy Vercella]

If you missed this, you should go back and listen to last week's cti. The first one. Last week, which was Wednesday's show. Go check that out. We talk about how we're basically the number one podcast in the world.

[DJ]

Yeah, man. Seconds. I mean. Yeah, yeah. Alex Jones right behind us. You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Vercella]

That's right. I mean, I, you know, I don't. I don't know if I can agree with that.

[DJ]

But yeah. No, it's crazy, man. But yeah, no, they love us over there. It's gonna be a good week. It's gonna be a good week. So we Got to get it started off with some heat.

[Andy Vercella]

Some heat? Fire, heat.

[DJ]

Where there's smoke, there's.

[Andy Vercella]

There's heat and fire.

[DJ]

There's friction.

[Andy Vercella]

Yes. Chafing, no lotion.

[DJ]

Let's get into it, man. I got some good ones for you guys.

[Andy Vercella]

DJ keeps Johnson and Johnson. You know, that's his company, Johnson Johnson.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

He's sponsored by them.

[DJ]

They're my dad.

[Andy Vercella]

He's their best customer. They're your dad. They're my two dads.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's it. That's what it is, man. No, man, let's get.

[Andy Vercella]

Let's get.

[DJ]

Let's get. Monday going to a good, too. We gotta. Let's do a call in first. Let's get Adriana on the line.

[Andy Vercella]

All right. Calling Adriana. Let's do it. Hello, Adriana, Hi. Hi.

[DJ]

How are you doing this, dj?

[Andy Vercella]

What's going on?

[Adriana]

Not much. Just finishing up a meeting. How are y' all?

[DJ]

Oh, sweet. We're doing sick, man. I got Andy.

[Andy Vercella]

Good. Adriana, hello. How are you?

[Adriana]

Fabulous. Thank you so much for asking.

[Andy Vercella]

All right. Is this a good time?

[Adriana]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[DJ]

How did the meeting go? The meeting? Good.

[Andy Vercella]

Dj.

[Adriana]

Hello?

[DJ]

Yeah, no, I said, how did the meeting go?

[Adriana]

Well, there's a reason why I asked the question I did today.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, well, let's do it.

[DJ]

Let's get into it. What you got?

[Adriana]

So I just kind of wanted to see, you know, at what point do you stop pouring into something, especially when it won't receive what I bring to the team. It the team sees me as a leader, but I'm not empowered to lead by the owner. I believe in the mission. I'm a manager. I have attempted to put a lot of things in place, but I'm kind of at a crossroads of, you know, when is enough enough? You know, do I stop being underused here and grow where my value is honored? Or even I'm on a crossroad of opening up my own business?

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, well, let me ask you this. When you say you're not empowered by the leadership to lead, what do you mean by that? Because you also said you're a manager, so I'm confused on what you're saying there.

[Adriana]

Absolutely. So I was hired as the manager. Background. I've had 10 years of running hotels and switched career paths and got into wellness and health. And I understood from the initial interview that me coming into this team wants to help build, create SOPs and help grow the business. But as I've come into the company again, I had moved away for a few months, and then Moved back because I moved out of state, but I was still always helping. And when I came back, we're hitting our two year anniversary this week and there's still no use of SOPs. There's no contracts even for us as employees. And there's just been multiple conversations about trying to.

[Andy Vercella]

Create.

[Adriana]

A background for the business so we can be successful.

[Andy Vercella]

Have you had these discussions with your leadership?

[Adriana]

Yes, it's one owner, she's the doctor I on my third conversation.

[Andy Vercella]

And what, how do those conversations typically go?

[Adriana]

They are typically very positive, but no follow through.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, now when you say no follow through, is it possible that she's waiting for you to follow through?

[Adriana]

I have presented all documents and followed up on my end.

[Andy Vercella]

What, what are you waiting for her? What are you waiting for her to do? Is what I'm trying to understand.

[Adriana]

Yeah, absolutely. The best way for me to put it is.

[Andy Vercella]

That.

[Adriana]

Though I'm the manager, she won't allow me to roll anything out.

[Andy Vercella]

So she's saying no, don't do this. Or she's saying wait. Or is she, what is she like micromanaging? Yeah, like I'm trying to understand where the block is. Like, like, because, dude, a lot of times in leadership, you know, like for example, let's say somebody would bring me a plan of how to do something. Well, I'm not going to do it. Like that's their job to do it. So I don't know if the situation is she's telling you no or she's looking for you to take initiative to develop on your own. I'm trying to figure out where the block is.

[Adriana]

Absolutely. So what are our meeting today? Any of the initiatives that I've put forward and have been attempting to understand. I was told that she was not comfortable doing that until end of year, maybe next year when we hit our three year.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, so you have an intermediary between you and her, is that correct?

[Adriana]

No, it means directly to her.

[Andy Vercella]

So she's telling you I want to wait till the end of the year.

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Is she giving you a reason why.

[Adriana]

She says that it is too busy to put any of the processes in place.

[Andy Vercella]

Is that true?

[Adriana]

It's definitely very busy, but I don't believe we can grow unless we have these processes in play.

[Andy Vercella]

So when you have. Because, well, when you have these discussions, do you push back on her and say, hey, listen, if we put these in, I think we can grow faster? Yes. And what she say.

[Adriana]

Today? The line has been just then, I want to put a playbook in place for the Office, but use your best judgment. It's your decision. But then she does not support it.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, do you think that it's going to work?

[Adriana]

Yes.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, then go do it. And then you already have. You already have one foot out anyway. You're already thinking about other things. At the worst case scenario, you go do it and it doesn't work, and you get to learn a lesson on her behalf. Like, you're not going to. You don't lose. You know, first of all, let me say this. I don't think she's leading properly, but I also don't think you're doing your job properly. All right? I think there's both. There's both people at fault here. One, she's not communicating or supporting or standing up and saying, this is why we can't do this. She's not giving you clarity, which is causing you to have frustration and resentment and bitterment and question, should I even be here or not? On the other hand, I can see it from her point of view, which is she may be thinking, well, we're too busy and dude, there could be financial issues that she doesn't want to disclose to you. That could be a re. I don't know. I don't know these things. Okay? But I can tell you this. There's been a lot of times in my business where people wanted to do things that were good ideas. And I said, hey, man, we gotta wait. And they didn't understand why. And the real reason why was because we had too much money out at the time. And we had to. We had to, you know, be careful about making any investments and, and, and things. And so there could be. My point in saying that is there could be some hidden reasons that she's not willing to disclose that could be causing hesitation. So my advice here is, okay, you asked in the beginning about maybe going somewhere else or maybe going and starting your own business. So if that's how you truly feel, then what do you have to lose by? By doing it and, and, and trying to do it. And by the way, I'm not saying doing it so it fails. I'm saying doing it the absolute best that you can to try and win. Because at the end of the day, if it doesn't work, you're going to learn something and that you'll be able to take that with you. And if you take that to a new passion or a new career or a new company, you'll have that lesson in place. But it sounds like you're pretty confident that it's going to work. So it could be a really good opportunity for you to gain her complete trust and then end up in a position where you truly do feel fulfilled and respected and appreciated. And I got to be honest with you, okay, there's been. I could think of a lot of every single one of my main leaders that, that we have here in our company, Every one of them, this situation happened along the way. At one point in time, they had an idea. I didn't like the idea. I gave them the opportunity to execute the idea. The idea worked, and then I started trusting them more to have more responsibility. So depending on how seasoned this woman is as your leader, she probably has a lesson to learn about that as well. Because we as entrepreneurs tend to think sometimes that we're the only ones capable of. Of doing things. And, you know, we have to see someone do something to really learn to trust them. So what I actually think is here for you is, I think it's a tremendous opportunity. I think it's tremendous opportunity for you to step up, for you to make some changes, for you to make the company more profitable, to earn trust, earn respect, be seen for what you actually are and what you actually do bring to the table. And, and by the way, I'm sure you moving away for a while has affected this. It's a. It's the ability for you to make that up, too. So I think this is a tremendous opportunity for you. If you. If you do it well. If you don't do it well, I still think it's a tremendous opportunity because you're going to learn a lesson that you're going to take with you, and it's not going to personally cost you anything, because otherwise you'd have to learn that lesson in your own business, and that would be expensive. So. So my, my recommendation is, you know, hey, sometimes leadership has to be taken, not given. All right? So, yeah, it's. It's, you know, every one of my great leaders of our. Our great leaders here and, and really any of the companies that we own, they took. They took the leadership. They didn't wait to get it. They took it. And I think that's one of the biggest disconnects between, you know, executive owners, operators, and employees trying to work their way up. A lot of employees have good ideas and good plans, and they're afraid to bring them up well. And then they get mad that you don't value them for what they bring. Well, how the can I value someone when I don't even know what the. They think in their head? So Number one, they. They have to learn to bring those things to the leadership. That. Number two, the leadership, if they've been in it long enough, may have seen this before. They may have said, hey, we tried that back in 2017. We got our asses kicked. So if this was going to work, it would have to be different than that. And then you might have to go back and redo it. And because that person wasn't there in 2017, they might take that personally. That's not a personal thing. Then there could also be a situation where the employee has a good idea and just does it without asking anything. And that's also bad because, like I said, if they. If they go back and change something without, you know, informing the leadership, they run the risk of stepping on a landmine that we've already stepped on before. So there's a way to do this, and the way to do it is exactly how you're doing it, minus the taking initiative. Okay, so you came up with a plan. You didn't just put it in. You. You went to the owner, you said, hey, this is what I think we should do. She seems like she's indecisive about whether or not she wants to do it. You feel that you're very confident, which is what she hired you to do. She hired you to make the business better. You feel very confident. So your job is to make these changes. And I would, you know, do what you need to do. And yes, there's some risk to it, but is there really? Because you're going to learn either way. And that's. That's kind of. That's where I'm sitting on it. What do you think?

[Adriana]

I. I completely agree. I think my biggest problem is as her, the owner, I didn't want to completely overstep boundaries, but I know that for her, she has had no leadership experience prior opening this business.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay.

[Adriana]

And being the doctor.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, then she probably doesn't trust anybody to do anything. And you're gonna have to show her that. That. Listen, if. Here's what's gonna happen if you don't show her that, that you could do this. That company will never grow or expand because she'll never trust anybody, and you'll rot away in that career. So here's your options. Stay where you are and rot. Do what you think is the best, and the company grows, or you do nothing. And you. You waste away in a company because the ownership doesn't know how to allow people to lead. They don't know how to delegate.

[DJ]

Yeah, dude, I would just think about it from this aspect, too. Like the. I think the intention matters a lot. Right. Like, if you're truly trying to do something that you truly believe is going to help, you can't really go wrong with that.

[Andy Vercella]

I mean, you can if you're stupid.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Vercella]

Right. Okay. But she's got. She has a lot of experience. She know. She's. She's made the plan. She's presented the plan. The owner said, hey, not right now. And then she said, today, hey, well, you do what you want, but I don't necessarily think we should do it right now. And that's the owner's way of having an out if it goes wrong. And she could hold Adriana accountable.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay. So.

[DJ]

Told you this wouldn't work.

[Andy Vercella]

That's right. So Adriana's job is to go make it fucking work and make the owner kind of have to eat a little. Eat a little crow so that. So that Adriana gets the trust and the respect. And I bet after that, the toe. I know after that, the tone will change, the dynamic will change between the owner and Adriana, and then she'll be free to do her job. So this could be your. Your chance to get what you want and what you wanted out of this the whole time.

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So you. I could tell you're sad and frustrated, but listen, man, you got nothing to lose at this point because you're already miserable. You're already thinking about doing other. You're already pissed off. They don't listen to you. Sometimes you just got to do the. And show them. You know what I mean?

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Like, I've had a number of guys who. In my company that got promoted that I was like, dude, what? Why would you promote that guy? And then. And then, you know what? They turned out to be awesome. You see what I'm saying? There's. I mean, you had to eat.

[DJ]

Eat the crow.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, well, I mean, I don't have a problem with that because, like, dude, my. I'm not trying to be right. I'm trying to win.

[DJ]

Trying to win, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

So, you know, I can only see the. You know, remember the owners, the. They can't see the front lines, man. Like, that's like the general saying, they can see the front line. You can't see the front line. You don't know what's actually going on in the trenches. You have to learn to listen to those people, and you have to be able to determine who's full of shit, because some guys and some girls will just tell you shit. So their Job gets easier, but you have to learn who the people you could trust are. And this is a great opportunity for Adriana to earn the trust of her ownership by going out, doing something, doing it well, making sure it works. And then that will. That will not just teach the owner, that will allow the business to scale, which will benefit all the employees. Yeah, 100%, so.

[DJ]

Love it.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's what I think. Can you do it?

[Adriana]

Yeah, I definitely can.

[DJ]

All right, get it done.

[Andy Vercella]

You got nothing to lose. I. You got nothing to lose.

[Adriana]

No, I don't.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, well, let's go do it.

[Adriana]

No, honestly, I'm about to go back into the room and get things going.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, good.

[DJ]

Love it, man.

[Andy Vercella]

Good.

[DJ]

Love it. Well, appreciate you for calling in Adriana. Appreciate it.

[Adriana]

No, I appreciate you guys on a little back end. I've on 75 hard for the second time, and I've lost £100. And I just appreciate everything that you guys do.

[Andy Vercella]

Thank you so much. That's. That's. That's why we do it. It's amazing. That is. That is. That is awesome news. Congratulations on that.

[Adriana]

No, I just greatly appreciate. You listen to every week religiously.

[Andy Vercella]

Thank you so much. Go out.

[Adriana]

Thank you for your time, guys.

[Andy Vercella]

If you listen, do what you know how to do, do it the best you can. Earn her trust. It'll change your whole life. It'll change her life. It'll change the employees lives.

[Adriana]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

You actually have a duty to do it.

[Adriana]

Yes, I do.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, let's go do it. Let us know how it works out.

[Adriana]

Of course. Thank you guys so much.

[Andy Vercella]

All right. Thank you.

[DJ]

That's awesome.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, man, that's awesome.

[DJ]

You know, I was thinking, too, like, one of the other reasons, and this may not be this situation, but.

[Andy Vercella]

Other.

[DJ]

People, other owner operators, decision makers, entrepreneurs who are. Who are simply just afraid to grow from where they are. Like, they're. They're cool where they are, and, like, growth, I guess, can scare them. Is that. Is that a thing?

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, but it's not. Yes, but it doesn't work in real life. Okay. Like. Because it. It betrays the reality of the market. Yeah, the reality of the market is there's all. It's always moving forward. Okay, so you're moving forward. Okay. And you decide. I like it right here.

[DJ]

Yeah, this is cool.

[Andy Vercella]

But the market continues to move forward. People are innovating, they're trying harder, they're getting aggressive. They want to grow. Eventually, they. They. They. They swallow you up. So they're in business, you, there is no coast. And that's what kills people, man. They think that they get to a certain level and everything will just be all right. It's not how it works, man. Very rarely does that work and it certainly doesn't work long term. It might work for a year, it might work for two years, but it's not going to work that long. And we see this in usually multi generational businesses where the dad or the mom who owned the business worked very hard to grow it. The kids come in and they look around and they're like, well, dude, I'm rich. Yeah, I got this business and they don't do shit and they don't try to get aggressive and they're going to the lake on Thursday and coming back on Monday and you know, walking around the office acting like they're a big deal when all the other people are doing, carrying all the fucking water, bro. So. And then those companies lose. Like, business is the most competitive fucking sport on the planet. It is way more competitive than any other physical sport. It is. The consequences are way higher because we're not talking about winning a game. We're talking about people's fucking lives. Can they eat or can they not eat? Can they go to the store or can they not go to the store? Can they have a pay their rent or can they not pay their rent? Those are much higher consequences than winning a fucking football game. And so to think that it's not the most competitive thing. It is the most competitive thing. And if you think that you're going to come into the game and run your game half ass, you're going to get fucking eaten up, dude. So, yes, there's owners that do that, but it never works. And it is a common thing. Yeah, you know, like they say, like.

[DJ]

Like more common than you think it is.

[Andy Vercella]

No, because what they say, you see this on the Internet too, bro. Like they say, like, well, I don't want to make any more money than I make right now, but. And that's fine. Okay? Don't pay yourself anymore, but you better go to work every day and work your ass off to keep your business going. You see what I'm saying? I don't necessarily need to make any more money. Okay, I get that. I'm not saying everybody has to be fucking Warren Buffett. Nobody, not everybody wants to drive a fucking Ferrari or a Bugatti or fucking whatever, man. Not everybody wants to live in a, a big ass house. I totally get it. But the game is still the same. You know what I'm saying, like, you better show up and you better be ready to go to battle every day. And people will say, I hate when people use the term war and battle and business. Well, fuck, have you ever done it? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's pretty fucking brutal, bro. I don't know of a better analogy. You know, like, you're gonna live or die because of it. You're either gonna fucking survive or you're gonna fucking starve. It takes everything you got 100% of your focus all the time. And yeah, while it may not kill you today, it'll probably eventually kill you. I mean, that's the truth. So I just, you know, I think people have big misconceptions about what business is really about. And yeah, man, it's, it's, it's, it's hard. And you better be showing up every day. I think a lot, I think a lot of people this up too, a lot of owners, because they think only really about themselves. Like, if you want to know if an owner gives a fuck about their team, pay attention to how much they're actually in the office and how much they actually do. Do they walk around and know their names and ask how they're doing and find out about them? Do they know, like anything about their people? Do they, Are they there? Are they trying to win? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know. If it were me and I didn't own businesses, I would certainly want to work for someone that gave a. And dude, you know, the ones that don't and usually end up losing long term. And you know why they end up losing long term? Because eventually they can't find anybody that's competent to work for them. Because all the good talent and all the good skills wants to work for a team that's actually trying to do some shit. Like, dude, the, the idea that a lot of owners of businesses have that they want to attract the best talent but also not like aggressively have a big mission to accomplish is a flawed idea. Because do you think that people that work, that are the best, do you think that they just want to show up and go through the motions? That's not how they think. They think like, dude, I want to, you know, I want to do something great. I want to, I want to build something awesome. I want to be a part of a winning team. I don't want to be a part of some schlub, half ass organization that gets excited because it's Karen's birthday. Oh, we got cake. In the cake room. No one wants that. No one wants that. No.

[DJ]

Pizza party?

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, your pizza party. Like, no one want. I mean, pizza parties are cool, but I mean, just saying, like, when you work at a company where the idea of company culture is a pizza party, you know, like, you're at the wrong place, bro. And you know, like, that's only going to become more important with the technology changes that are happening, because there's going to be a lot of people that won't have jobs, and there's going to be a lot of people who are really good that are looking for places to build. And so I think there's going to be a big sort of revolution in all business. And I feel really good about where we're at because, like, we've been doing this shit the whole time.

[DJ]

That's real, man. I love it, man. Guys, let's get to our next question. We got to write in here. Let's get to question number two. Andy, where do you draw the line when it comes to being ethical and wanting to make money?

[Andy Vercella]

The are you talking about?

[DJ]

Well, we'll get into it.

[Andy Vercella]

I don't need to hear the rest of the question. There. There's only one way to make money long term. It's by solving problems. Okay? What's unethical about solving someone's actual problems? If you are in a business that sells something that doesn't actually solve their problem, you should look for something else to do, because eventually people will figure it out. They have the ability to go on the Internet and say, those guys, they didn't help me. They didn't provide a service. They showed up late. They charged me too much. They bullshitted me. And then what happens after not a long time is that they go away. So you have to understand, and this is the truth, and a lot of people will always argue this because they don't understand really anything about how this works. You are paid in proportion to the value that you deliver. And that value that you deliver has to be real. You have to solve their problem, whatever it is. If it's a plumber, you got to fix the leak real well. And then I would recommend maybe taking care of one or two other things that you see need to be fixed. So you can go and say, hey, man, I fixed the leak. Oh, by the way, I noticed this was squeaking. I took care of that. I did this, I took care of that. And you know what? I did it for free. No big deal. Anytime you need something, call me. I'll come take care of it then what happens is a person goes on their motherfucking phone and they say, I had Joe the plumber come to my house, man. Fuck, he was awesome, dude. Everybody should go to Joe. That's how it works. Okay? So money being made unethically is short money. It will come and it will go and you will be broke. That is reality. You cannot make money. And by the way, life is long. So it's very important that you do this the right way. Because if you don't, you will be in and out and everybody will know you're a full of shit scammer. Whether. And I'm not talking about just on the Internet. I'm talking about real life, real people. Dude, there, there was people that went to assemble Emily's new office furniture, that they showed up for one day. They assembled one table out of like 17. Then they left and they never came back. Okay? So that, that's up. They will not be in business very long. You see what I'm saying? They took the whole money too, by the way. They got paid up front. So we got to make some calls. But the point is, is that the short money is non valuable service. It's, it's unethical. The only way to make money these days is by doing things ethical in the long term. That's it. That's it.

[DJ]

And so as long as you're doing that, you should have no problem taking the money. Because I think that like, that's what this guy's asking about. So I do want to read this real quick.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, hold on. What, what the fuck? You earned the money. You solved the problem. Dude, this is broke thinking.

[DJ]

Well, I mean, all right, just read it. Yeah, well, so he says, I've dealt.

[Andy Vercella]

With a thousand like this. Yeah.

[DJ]

So he's saying that give me the.

[Andy Vercella]

Money, send it to me, I will ethically take your money. You don't want the money because you think there's something unethical about. Bro, your thinking is I don't even have to read the question. No, it's a good question.

[DJ]

It's a fair question. Okay, It's a fair question. So he just started a, a yard and land service company. Okay. It's been business partner. They just booked their first client. She's an elderly widow living off Social Security. And the, the, the, the quote that they gave her was 500 bucks. They felt like that's fair for the work, right? But he's saying his gut is telling him that he needs to do it for free. His business mind says, take the 500. And his last side says to do it for 300 or like, at some type of discount. And he's asking if that like. Like, where's the.

[Andy Vercella]

Don't do it for a discount. Do it for free. Sometimes you're going to do things for free. Sometimes there's going to be things that you do because of the right thing to do.

[DJ]

Okay?

[Andy Vercella]

Okay. I used to plow driveways when I didn't have any money, I'd plow streets and driveways. People would. The old people. I do for free every. Because they couldn't do it. Yeah, that's what you do. Okay. If you have a feeling in your gut that says, hey, I need to, you know, do something good, don't do it as a discount. Because here's the thing. She will tell all. Even though you did a nice thing, she will tell everybody, oh, Steve and Bob gave me a discount. And then you'll be getting asked for a discount from everybody. So do it for free or do it for full price. When I speak, I do it for free or I do it for full price. I don't do any negotiating, all right? Because I don't want the deal to be talk. I don't. I'm not dealing with negotiation, all right? So that is. That is not an ethical problem. That is a decision for you to make because you think it's the right thing to do. By the way, if you do the job and you take the money, there's nothing unethical about that. There's nothing unethical about that as long as you do the best job that you can. And I bet she will still tell everybody, hey, Joe and Bob did a great job, and they did it for a fair price. And, you know, so this. This is probably just you. A lot of times when people start businesses, dude, it's very, very hard for them to ask for the money. I don't know what that is, but I struggle with it, too.

[DJ]

Is it a worth thing? Like they don't know if the service or product.

[Andy Vercella]

Yes, bro. It's like, well, here's. Here's what it is. It goes back to what I was saying in the beginning of the question, okay? We grow up being told by our families and teachers and fucking everybody we know, hey, look at that rich motherfucker. He's fucking screwing everybody. Okay? So that gets beat in our head. And, dude, honestly, that was the case for a long time. Let me explain why. When the advertising world started a hundred years ago and it started, you know, we had television, radio, print okay. There was no ecosystem for feedback other than word of mouth. And word of mouth took years to spread. All right? So if you. And by the way, companies figure this out very quickly, so what they were able to do is instead of running an ad that was true, they could completely lie and their products weren't what they say they were. And really what it came down to is the bigger the promise, the more sales. So. So what's that mean? That usually means the bigger the lie, the more sales. Okay. But it took people years to figure this out, that this was happening. So these companies would get really big. Okay? So people that are older than us would look at these rich people and say, that guy's screwing everybody. And that's where that comes from. Wow. Okay.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

Then business changed when the Internet came around. Specifically when social media came around, there became a instant feedback mechanism that allowed customers to hold companies accountable for actually doing what they say they will. So a lot of you young people, you don't really understand that the perception of older people thinking that rich people are evil and bad and. And this and that. And you've heard that your whole life because that was their perspective of how things were marketed. All right?

[DJ]

That don't. Why that does not work now.

[Andy Vercella]

It's complete opposite now.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So. So you bit. So here's where we're at you. A lot of people have been told that rich people are evil and they steal and they're unethical and they're this and they're that and this. And there is a lot of those still, but they only stay around for a little bit. Look at all these on the Internet who scam people. And look where they are in a year from that, all right? They're usually gone. And if they're not gone yet, they're gonna be gone. All right? So we're in a different era now. So all these things that you've been told about wealthy people are actually completely untrue because for the last 25 years, there has been accountability, there has been a requirement that if you become successful, it's because you offer a great service and you solve a great problem. And because of that, you are handsomely rewarded with money. And so now, the way the system's set up, if you are going to become wealthy, you have to have done it in a somewhat and probably highly ethical way. Okay, now, are there exceptions like on the comments? Oh, I know. I know this one. Yeah. Okay. Come back in three years and tell him where the he is. All right? That is the only long Term, way to win. Apple Computer is one of the biggest companies in the world. They sell a laptop that's three times, four times, ten times as much as everybody else's. You know why? Because it's better. Okay? Everything's like that now. Because the market is so transparent. The values have. Have become. They. They're no longer perceived. They're real. Does this make sense?

[DJ]

Absolutely.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, so.

[DJ]

Because if. If Apple wasn't that good, we would know it and wouldn't be selling.

[Andy Vercella]

Would you buy. Would you buy a $3,000 laptop if you bought one that sucked? No. Okay? No. Nobody else would either. That's how the fuck it works, okay? So the best products win. That's it. And that's how it should be. So this idea that, you know, wealthy people are screwing people, no, Most of those wealthy people have provided way more value than you'll probably ever provide in your whole life. And so when you try to dog them out for being rich and successful, you look like a fucking clown, okay? Because the only way to win in today's economy is to be the real fucking deal. All right? So that caught this entire perception that your parents and your teachers and people, older people, have beaten your head is inaccurate. Now. Was it accurate when they grew up? Yes, but it's different now, okay? And it's been long enough to where 99% of the companies that are alive today that have been alive for the last decade, let's say five to ten year minimum. I say ten years. They're there. They would have survived if they weren't like that. Okay? So back to the yard mowing. If you feel it, like, in your heart, you should do it because it's the right thing. Do it because it's the right thing. What's it going to take you? You know what I'm saying? Like, you're going to feel good about it. You're going to get some goodwill. You know, maybe she said, maybe she'll tell people that you did it for free. But what you want to avoid is the discount situation, okay? You want to avoid people saying, oh, oh, it's up for negotiation because they did it for half price for me. Because that will automatically devalue your services in everybody's eyes if they know it's negotiable. You either do a full price or you do it for fucking free. And that's it. I love it.

[DJ]

I love it. Guys, we got one more. Let's get our third and final question. Got another call in.

[Andy Vercella]

By the way, how do you know that that Lady's not sitting on.

[DJ]

Dude, I was thinking, bro, listen, people are rich as.

[Andy Vercella]

Right? That's right. Because they've. A lot of them have been smart and they've accumulated, you know, lots and lots and lots. She could be playing you, bro. Right?

[DJ]

She bought a house for like 20 grand, dude. Just sold.

[Andy Vercella]

I'm just saying, man, you know, like, you don't. You never know. You never, never, never know who's who.

[DJ]

Like, if she accepted that price and like. Cool.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. She probably has a gazillion dollars in the bank, bro.

[DJ]

Right, right.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, like, I'm being serious. You can't just feel sorry for people. You gotta. You gotta understand, man, just because you look at someone, you think they don't have any money. You're. You could be very wrong. Like. Like when I walk around in my daily life, other than me driving a car that cost like millions of do. Like, like, if I drove a Honda Accord and you saw me walking around, there's no way you could look at me and know that I have money. You see what I'm saying?

[DJ]

That's real, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

So, like, my dad's the same way. Like, when my dad, you know, like, was in business, he'd walk around a Harley Davidson shirt and he could afford stuff, you know? Like, we used to have this dude that came in the Brentwood store that we all talked about. He come in and he was like, he, dude, what do we call him? Or. No, it was Eleanor. We called him Captain Insano. Okay? And he'd come in, bro, like, cut off shirt, whole holes in his shorts. This guy come in and buy 5, 600 worth of loaded. Yeah. He didn't give a. He pull out a cash wad and be like. Like Scrooge McDuck, bro. Walk the out.

[DJ]

Yeah, you can't judge that.

[Andy Vercella]

No. And that's a big sales. No, no. Do not judge people on how they look. Do not judge them on what car they drive. And do not judge them on what you think is expensive. Because you happen to. It would be expensive for you. Okay? If you do those three things, you will suck at sales. You have to present the product, ask for a fair value, and you will be successful.

[DJ]

I love it, man. I love it. Guys, let's get to our third and final call. And we got one more call in for you guys. Let's give our boy Josh. Let's give our boy Josh a call.

[Josh]

Josh.

[DJ]

Josh. What's up, my man?

[Josh]

Hey, how's it going?

[DJ]

Good, brother. This is dj. I got Andy here.

[Andy Vercella]

What's up, Josh? How you doing, brother?

[Josh]

Good. How are you?

[Andy Vercella]

We're doing good, man.

[DJ]

Well, you sounded a little happier when you heard Andy's voice.

[Andy Vercella]

Why wouldn't he be?

[DJ]

What's that about?

[Andy Vercella]

He's racist, clearly. Josh, where are you calling in from, bro?

[Josh]

Des Moines, Iowa.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, well, he's definitely racist. Josh. We're just playing, bro.

[DJ]

What's up, dude?

[Andy Vercella]

What are you doing?

[Josh]

You guys are good. I'm echoing a little bit, so I'm a little delayed behind trying to catch what you guys are saying. So.

[Andy Vercella]

Are you sure you good? Are you sure? Are you sure? Yeah.

[DJ]

Andy is still with you? I'm sorry, Josh, what you got?

[Josh]

My question is I'm an intramur. I've been working at a Ford dealership as a technician for 10 years, busting my ass every day, and I'm finally to the point where I'm doing everything really well. And recently, about six months ago, my manager approached me about doing a special skills work, rebuilding transmissions. And our guy here, that I learned from, he went out on paternal leave. When he came back and found out that I was doing his line of work, he just turned really spiteful and just stirring a bunch of drama in the shop. And when I approached my manager about, you know, he's being a little vindictive and, you know, causing issues, they basically told me, you know, we can't do anything unless, you know, HR needs to be involved. So my question is, I've been ignoring him, but it's not working very well. You know, I just kind of feel like I'm looking over my shoulder a lot when the next, you know, drama or altercation is going to happen. And I'm kind of wondering from an entrepreneur perspective, you know, since, you know, from an intrapreneur, how. How can I just kind of, you know, keep pushing forward, keep getting better while not feeling like I'm, you know, trying to dodge bullets at the same time.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, let me ask you a couple questions, all right, buddy?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, so can you kick his ass?

[Josh]

Yes. And that's why my management hasn't done anything.

[Andy Vercella]

Because. So if I.

[Josh]

If I could. If I could do what I need to do, I'd be sitting across from a middle aged woman getting yelled at.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, brother, listen, so we know that you kick his ass. So don't kick his ass.

[DJ]

Don't kick his ass.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, I was just. I was just wondering. So. All right, man, how old are you?

[Josh]

I'm 28.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay. How old are you? How old is this dude?

[Josh]

He is 29.

[Andy Vercella]

Okay, so you guys about the same age?

[Josh]

30 at this point.

[Andy Vercella]

All right. Have you talked one year ahead of me? Have you. Have you, have you. Have you confront. Have you confronted him about it in a decent way?

[Josh]

I have. I've approached him or at least, you know, attempted to, you know, with a smile, respect, you know, trying to be, you know, as professional as I can. And it's just met with, you know, a scowl.

[Andy Vercella]

What do you say when you do. When you. When you do that? What'd you say?

[Josh]

I just kind of went up to. It was like, hey, man, you know.

[Andy Vercella]

Like.

[Josh]

I filled in for you while you were out, you know, having your kid. You were nice before this. And now that I've learned, you know, your specialty, you know, line of work, and I'm, you know, obviously I'm not going to, you know, stop doing that work now that I've learned it now, you know, it seems like, you know, you kind of feel like I'm stealing your job and, you know, you're being confrontive about it.

[Andy Vercella]

What's he say?

[Josh]

And he just. He just kind of sits there and stares at me with a, you know, gal on his face. And then about an hour after that, my manager came over and asked me why I was bothering.

[Andy Vercella]

Ask you why what?

[Josh]

You know, I was like, well, if he's going to. Sorry, what?

[Andy Vercella]

Yes. Your manager came over and asked you what?

[Josh]

Why I was bothering him. Like, I was, like, trying to instigate something.

[Andy Vercella]

Got it, Got it.

[DJ]

Okay, so he doesn't listen to the show, obviously.

[Andy Vercella]

Who?

[DJ]

The vindictive employee coworker. He's definitely a hoe. Oh, yeah, what it sounds like to me.

[Andy Vercella]

Well, you know, look, dude, this. This is common, all right? You know, a lot of people have scarcity mindset, and they believe that if someone else starts to, you know, learn a skill or step into their territory, that it means it's. They're threatened by it. And, and this guy's threatened by your presence. And what he probably thinks, and you could probably confirm this, is that he thinks you're trying to take his job. Like what you said in the. In the. What you just said a minute ago. So how I would handle this, there would be a couple step way of how I would handle this one. I would grab your manager and I would say, hey, I would like you to come to me, come with me to what's this guy's name? But here's what I would say. I would say, hey. I would ask the manager say, hey, will you come and kind of just stand by while I talk to, we can kind of squash this cancer that's going on back here in the shop. And I would bring him over there and I would say to right in front of your manager, I'd say, hey, brother, I don't know what your problem is, but it makes me uncomfortable. I'm trying to do the best that I can. You know, we should be able to work together and we're both great at what we do. So instead of us, you know, having a bad relationship, I'd like to have a good relationship where we could be productive and do twice as much work for the company. And I would say that right in front of your manager and then we'll see how he reacts and he'll either play ball or he'll, he'll smile, a fake smile and then he'll go back and do what he was doing before. But no matter what, because your manager witnessed the conversation, there's going to be some sort of accountability if he goes the wrong way with it. So that would be my first step. My first step, you know, would just be to, to have a witness conversation. And dude, you need to be very respectful, very nice, willing to bury the hatchet, non confrontational but firm, like, hey, I have to come to work here every day, man. So do you. There's. We spend most of our time here. We spend as much time as we hear as here as we do with our families. There's no reason that we should have this tension or this negative atmosphere. It's not good for either one of us. My intention is not to keep, to take your job. My intention is to help you do your job and have you help me do my job so that we can both do very well and have a conversation like that right in front of your manager and then see what happens. If it continues to happen, your manager is probably likely to do something about it. If he doesn't do something about it, then you're going to have to just come to terms with that. You have to deal with that in the workplace. And that's reality. And the truth of the matter is, is like, you know, it's not like you can't give it to him back. It's not like you can't be more of a smart ass than he is. So sometimes when people won't play along and they won't be cool, they. You have to out uncool them and you have to get in the gutter, all right? And I don't like doing that, but sometimes it's necessary for people to earn respect. So those, those are sort of the options you have. I would definitely attempt to do it the ethical way, the right way, the nice way. But it sounds like you've been doing that. It's not happening. I would try once more the way that I described and then after that I would either ignore it and just be a grown man and be like, this guy's a fucking clown. Almost like laugh at him for being such a douchebag. Because nothing, nothing really makes bullies stop more than people laughing at them for being a bully. So unless you're going to kick his ass, that'll definitely stop him. But you know, that's not going to be good for your career. Bullies respond well to two things. Violence or becoming the clown. And you know, I think you can make them the clown. Other than that, dude, you know, it's, it's, you know, it's tough it out, be, be thick skinned or find another place to go. You know what I'm saying?

[Josh]

Yeah, no, for sure. I was raised, you know, to treat everyone with respect, you know.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Just to see, you know, like we're all working hard, you know, I obviously, you know, I, as far as like stature, you know, I outwork him. But you know, it's, you know, I always treat people with respect. You know, it's just kind of.

[Andy Vercella]

I understand, but remember.

[Josh]

Eye opening to.

[Andy Vercella]

See, you know, listen. Just a couple things. One, just because you treat people respect doesn't mean they'll treat you respect. Okay. Number two, you have to respect yourself also. And laying down and let a walk all over you is not self respect. So while I, and I appreciate the fact that you were raised good, you sound like a really good dude. I've never met you before. I, I think that's how you should always behave. But there are certain instances in your life where people are going to not respect the fact that you're respecting them and they're going to disrespect you. And those situations cannot be ignored because that will diminish your self worth, your self respect, your self esteem. And that is very harmful to you. So you, you've put enough thought into this already where it was important enough for you to call in the show. So that means it's bothering you. So the, the, the, the damage to your confidence and self esteem is already happening. So you, you have to figure out a way to end this. And there's certain times in your life where standing up for yourself is very uncomfortable. And this sounds like it's one of them for you. But I can promise you that once you do, and if you do it the right way and it works, you're going to feel really good about yourself. I haven't had very few situations in my life that I haven't been able to resolve with that kind of a conversation. Like, hey, bro, listen, I'm on the same fucking team as you, dude. Like, I'm trying to do good. You're trying to do good. I'm trying to provide for my family. You're trying to provide for your family. You're good at what you do. I'm good at what I do. Can't we just work together and help each other be better? Like, wouldn't that make it a lot easier than coming in here every day with a negative attitude? Like, that's. I've been able to handle almost every single person that's ever had a problem with me in that same way. Because, dude, once they take a step back and realize that you're not going to engage in their. They, they. They change their tune. So. And, you know, it's. It's biblical, bro. Like, you know, Jesus says it, he says, love your enemies, and when you love your enemies, man, they usually end up becoming your friends, and they ex. You know, some of these people have been treated so poorly in their lives that they just expect to battle every time someone steps on their toes a little bit or even gets close to them. And, and real talk, dude, I'm guilty of that. You know, I've been. I've been treated very poorly by a lot of people throughout my life. And so sometimes when people get close to me or even in my. I get very aggressive and defensive about it, and I've had to learn how to not do that. So I can relate to someone kind of like this guy a little bit. So I. I think you'll be able to. To resolve it with that kind of conversation. And if you can't, you're still going to have to stand up for yourself. And, and instead of going in and. And being physical, you know, you could do it with your brain by outwitting them and outsmarting them and just making them feel like an idiot. You there?

[Josh]

Yep.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Gotcha. Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

What do you think?

[Josh]

You know, I think I've kind of already exhausted option one, and, you know, I've been talking with my significant other and, you know, kind of come to the conclusion of, you know, ignoring him, and it just seems like it's not working. I'm just got to, you know, kind of deal with it like you said. But I just, you know, kind of need to hear it from, you know, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

If he. If he's gonna go, if that's where you are, that's where you are, bro. You know, Like, I'm not. I don't want to be an asshole, but, like, if I have to be, I'm gonna be the biggest motherfucking asshole on the planet. I'm gonna out asshole you. I promise you that. So. That's right.

[Josh]

Right. That's kind of need to come to terms with not feeling terrible about doing that.

[Andy Vercella]

No, bro. Because you've given him chances. You've given them chances, bro. And. And this is about respecting yourself, man. So I understand it's hard for people like you, but, like, dude, there's just people out there that are. That are. They're up. So.

[Josh]

Yeah, they're too far gone. You can't do anything to get them back.

[Andy Vercella]

That's right. That's right, man. And that's why I, like, punched him in the face sometimes verbally. Tennis. Right now, he probably thinks you're a pushover. He probably thinks I could say whatever I want to. Josh. He ain't gonna do. You know what I'm saying?

[Josh]

Well, he's scared to even come talk to me. My manager told me that, so.

[Andy Vercella]

Wow.

[Josh]

But as far as you know him constantly trying to get in my way.

[Andy Vercella]

He ain't that scared if he keeps talking.

[DJ]

Right?

[Josh]

Right.

[Andy Vercella]

I can tell you this, bro. I don't deal with that. You talk to my face. Say whatever you want to my face. But if I catch you running your mouth out there behind my back, we're gonna have an issue. And I have that policy inside my companies, like, we're not going to have cancer here. If you want to come to me and sit in my office and tell me I'm a piece of. I will hear it, and I will hear it calmly and we can have a talk. But you go out there and I find out you've been doing that, you're out. So, you know, I. Look, man, I think you know what you got to do, and unfortunately, you know, it sucks, but actually, I think after you do it, you'll probably. I think if you stand up for yourself, this guy will end up respecting you. That's the truth.

[DJ]

Probably become best, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

That usually happens. Dude, every time I've ever had to do this with someone, we've ended up getting closer because of it, which is the weirdest thing ever.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

So sweet, man.

[DJ]

Well, Josh, we appreciate you, brother. Hope it all works out for you, man.

[Josh]

I appreciate it. Appreciate you guys taking my call.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, brother, go handle business. You'll be good. Don't beat him up.

[Josh]

Yeah, I'll try not to.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, brother.

[DJ]

That's such a crazy thing because it's like, I mean, what do you want me to do? Like, you want me to demote myself? Go back to doing the low level technician, like to make you feel better.

[Andy Vercella]

It's hard.

[DJ]

Lower your shine, man.

[Andy Vercella]

You know, look, dude, I think a lot of people. He sounds like a really nice guy.

[DJ]

Yeah, he does.

[Andy Vercella]

And a really well mannered. Good character man. Value you got good boy, but also a good character man. Stands up for when it's wrong. Yeah, okay. That's part of having a strong good character. Strong good character does not mean just be nice all the time. It means, you know, beat treat people really good, but match their energy too. Like if they with you, you with them harder. And that's part of like, that's a karma.

[DJ]

That's a universal karma.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah. And it feels bad when you, when you want to be a good man. Yeah, that doesn't feel good. You know, like, like for example, just an unrelated example, let's say the power went out. And you know me, I don't like killing animals. I'm not an animal. I love animals. But I can promise you, if I had to, I would have zero issue killing anything in order to have my family eat.

[DJ]

You gotta eat, bro.

[Andy Vercella]

It wouldn't. I. And I wouldn't think twice about it.

[DJ]

Come here, Bambi.

[Andy Vercella]

That. It is what it is. It is what it is. It's called natural order. And as long as we have the luxury of not being in natural order, that's fine, I'll be peaceful. But when natural order becomes the order, we as men have to transform into those kind of men. And part of having a strong character is being able to do that. And that includes standing up for yourself when people are unreasonable. Okay. And when you pride yourself on being a good man and being nice to people and treating people with respect, that's very difficult because you know that it's unnecessary. But that guy doesn't. And we get in our. Like there's been a lot of good men killed, legitimately killed by people who we projected our goodness onto them. There are bad people.

[DJ]

Oh yeah.

[Andy Vercella]

There are evil people. There are people that don't give a and don't hold the same value system that you do. And you have to be able to understand that. And people that don't end up learning very painful lessons. You think everybody's as honest as you. You think everybody's as real as you. You think everybody's as genuine as you. You're making a big mistake, okay? Because if you think that the ones that aren't will get close to you and they will hurt you in many different ways. So you have to understand this not just because. Because, dude, I think most of the people listening to show here are very, very good people. Part of you being a good person is being smart enough to recognize when other people aren't, and you cannot give them the benefit of the doubt. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. Dangerous to you. It's dangerous to your family.

[DJ]

That's real, man. That's real, man.

[Andy Vercella]

Guys.

[DJ]

Andy, that's three. That's heat for the week, man.

[Andy Vercella]

Yep. Yep. Hey, that's a new one. Yeah. Heat for the week.

[DJ]

Heat for the week, baby.

[Andy Vercella]

All right, guys, don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Vercella]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up? Bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booty swole? Got her own bank row? Can't fold? That's a no head shot case. Close.