917. Q&AF: Too Late At 38?, Motivating People Through Resistance & Feeling Behind

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella – Episode 917

Title: Q&AF: Too Late At 38?, Motivating People Through Resistance & Feeling Behind
Host/Author: Andy Frisella #100to0
Release Date: August 7, 2025

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Introduction to Q&AF Format

In Episode 917 of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella," hosts Andy Frisella and DJ engage with listeners through the Q&AF (Questions and Answers Format), addressing real-life challenges related to personal development, career changes, and motivating others. The episode is structured to provide candid, unfiltered advice, aligning with the show's ethos of embracing reality over societal illusions.

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Caller Question 1: Is It Too Late to Change Careers at 38?

Caller: Kyle, a 38-year-old roofer
Timestamp: [06:43]

Kyle shares his struggles over the past two decades, including the loss of his business during the recession and personal health crises within his family. Recently, after his wife's kidney transplant, Kyle contemplates a career change from roofing—a field he finds unsatisfying—despite the financial uncertainties it entails.

Key Discussion Points:

• Age and Career Transition: DJ emphasizes that 38 is not too late to pivot careers, especially with modern technology accelerating business growth and opportunities ([08:16]).
• Temporary Setbacks for Long-Term Gains: The hosts discuss the importance of taking short-term financial hits to achieve long-term fulfillment and success ([09:50]).
• Personal Fulfillment vs. Financial Stability: They highlight that material possessions are secondary to personal satisfaction and fulfillment in one's career ([11:36]).

Notable Quotes:

• DJ: “Material shit, as cool as it is, house, car, lifestyle, it's really not that important.” ([11:36])
• Andy: “If you continue down the same path that you're on, you're going to have regrets.” ([16:21])

Conclusion: Kyle is encouraged to leverage his existing skills, particularly his discipline and tech-savviness, to innovate within the roofing industry or explore entrepreneurship in a new field. The consensus is clear: taking calculated risks now can prevent future regrets and lead to greater personal and professional satisfaction.

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Caller Question 2: Motivating Adult Children Through Tough Love

Caller: A 47-year-old mother seeking advice on motivating her adult sons
Timestamp: [26:32]

The caller expresses frustration over her adult sons' lack of commitment to the 75 Hard program, which is designed to build mental toughness. She grapples with maintaining relationships while wanting to push her sons to take necessary steps for their personal growth.

Key Discussion Points:

• Directness Over Empathy: DJ advocates for blunt honesty, suggesting that tough love is more effective than gentle encouragement ([27:56]).
• Impact of Honesty: Emphasizing that true care involves being truthful, even if it means hurting feelings ([29:19]).

Notable Quotes:

• DJ: “Tell the truth. If the fucker's fat, tell him he's fat.” ([28:04])
• DJ: “You either are or you aren't. It is or it isn't.” ([35:03])

Conclusion: The hosts advise the caller to adopt a no-nonsense approach, underlining that genuine concern requires honest feedback. By setting a strong example and being straightforward, she can better support her sons in their journey toward self-improvement.

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Caller Question 3: Handling Competitive Friends in Business

Caller: John, a 32-year-old in the construction and excavation industry
Timestamp: [38:43]

John discusses his frustration with a friend who entered the same business and is now securing more jobs through personal connections. This competition has sparked jealousy and questions about his own business strategies.

Key Discussion Points:

• Embracing Competition: DJ encourages John to harness his competitive spirit positively rather than succumbing to jealousy ([40:38]).
• Self-Focus and Personal Goals: Emphasizing the importance of concentrating on one's own massive plans and not getting distracted by others’ successes ([45:50]).
• Productivity Pivot: Redirecting negative emotions into productive actions to propel one's business forward ([43:30]).

Notable Quotes:

• DJ: “The most valuable energy that we get is the dark side, negative energy.” ([52:02])
• DJ: “Your real goal should be your goal. And your goal should be so big that you're consumed with how well you have to execute to achieve that goal.” ([47:25])

Conclusion: John is advised to channel his competitive frustrations into refining his business strategies and expanding his network. By focusing on his unique goals and leveraging his strengths, he can outpace competitors and achieve greater success without being bogged down by envy.

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General Insights on Personal Development and Mental Toughness

Throughout the episode, Andy and DJ delve into themes of mental toughness, discipline, and the importance of directness in personal and professional growth. They stress that overcoming discomfort and embracing challenges are essential for achieving excellence.

Key Themes:

• Zero Options Mentality: Adopting a mindset where failure is not an option, thus fueling relentless pursuit of goals ([21:17]).
• Tough Love vs. Empathy: Prioritizing honesty and direct feedback over comforting lies to foster genuine improvement ([29:19]).
• Harnessing Negative Energy: Transforming jealousy and frustration into motivation to drive success ([47:25]).

Notable Quotes:

• DJ: “You have to fix the problem of adherence before you start saying, oh, I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that.” ([34:48])
• DJ: “If you continue down the same path that you're on, you're going to have regrets.” ([16:21])

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Conclusion and Takeaways

Episode 917 of "REAL AF with Andy Frisella" offers a no-holds-barred approach to tackling personal and professional challenges. Through candid discussions and direct advice, Andy and DJ encourage listeners to embrace discomfort, prioritize honesty, and harness their inner drive to achieve unprecedented levels of success. Whether contemplating a career change, motivating loved ones, or dealing with competition, the episode serves as a compelling guide for those seeking to elevate their lives through mental toughness and relentless pursuit of their goals.

Final Notable Quote:

• DJ: “You either are or you aren't. It is or it isn't.” ([35:03])

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Key Takeaways:

• Never Too Late for Change: At 38, it's entirely feasible to pivot careers with the right mindset and strategy.
• Tough Love in Relationships: Being honest, even when it's uncomfortable, is crucial for the growth of those you care about.
• Embrace and Channel Competition: Use competitive emotions as fuel for your own success rather than allowing them to create resentment.
• Mental Toughness is Paramount: Discipline, adherence, and a relentless work ethic are non-negotiable for achieving personal excellence.

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Remember: Share the show to help others benefit from these real and practical insights. Don't be a hoe—spread the truth and foster a community of relentless personal growth.

Transcript

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah went from sleeping on the floor.

[DJ]

Now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold Bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case Close, close, close. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions ways. The first way is, guys, email your.

[Andy Frisella]

Questions into ask andy4sella.com or you go.

[DJ]

On YouTube on the Q and A episodes and just click the link in the bio there. And you can fill out a form and call into the show. Talk to us live. Or you just leave your question in the comments and we'll pick some from there as well. If you're unfamiliar with the show, this is Q and A F. We have multiple formats of the show. Sometimes we're gonna have cti, that's cruise the Internet. That's where we cover the news, current events, what's going on in the world. We throw these topics up here on the screen next to us. We talk about them, speculate, and then talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then Sometimes we have 75 hard verses. That's where someone comes on the show. They talk about how they were before 75 Hard, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to unfuck their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And it is the initial phase of the live hard program, which you can get the entire thing for free at episode 208. This is not a fitness program. It is a mental toughness training program. All right? So if you want to fix the ultimate problem with yourself, which is your ability to do what you say you want to do, what you decide you want to do, if you're being honest, you know that's the problem. That's what this program fixes, all right? And you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book on Andy Forla.com called the Book on Mental Toughness. It encompasses the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important how to use it to build the life that you want and that, you know, should. You should be living. So with that being said, we ask very simply that you help us grow the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, do us a solid and don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up?

[Andy Frisella]

What's going on, brother?

[DJ]

Nothing, dude. What's up with you?

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, you know, it's been a great day. Just getting shit done. I wrote a little Yamaha for the first time.

[DJ]

Which one?

[Andy Frisella]

Logan's.

[DJ]

Logan's?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. You got. Got that bike?

[DJ]

Yeah. Oh, is it.

[Andy Frisella]

It's all right. It's in one piece still.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Almost didn't come back.

[DJ]

Yeah. Smaller than what you said it is.

[Andy Frisella]

But that thing's fast, man.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Those, like, little street bikes are different. I'm used to the hogs.

[DJ]

Yep, yep, I know you are. Anyway, yeah, them big white hogs, you like to ride.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah.

[DJ]

Anyway, so people are probably wondering why we're having Q and A F in the middle of the week. That's because it is time for all of you to start participating in the revolution, which is the revolution and the rebellion of personal excellence. We have to understand that if we as humans are going to thrive and even survive at this point, we have to become everything they don't want us to become. They want us to be fat. We have to become fit. They want us to be stupid. We have to become intelligent. They. They want us to be dependent. We have to become independent. They want us to hate each other. We have to work together. These are things that are required for humanity to progress. And your story, your outcome, what you do on a daily basis is the revolution. And you have to understand that we all play a part in that. There is no opting out. There is no, oh, well, I don't have a big following. This doesn't have shit to do with your following. This has to do with the example that you set. This has to do with what the people around you observe. This has to do with what they see so they can know that certain things are possible for them. And we as humans have an obligation to set that standard. And that obligation and that duty has been forgotten by a lot of people, especially here in America. So with that being said, we are going to focus much more on personal development, at least giving you guys a couple shows a week of that until we get this new podcast launched, which is imminent. So. Yeah. What?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, man. Dude. Yeah. You Got me. You know what? I'm ready to punch through a wall, bro.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Let's make some people better. Yeah, let's. You know, like I said, punching holes through drywall. We have a. Kyle.

[DJ]

Cool.

[Andy Frisella]

We're gonna get on the phone. Let's go. Let's give Kyle a call. Here we go.

[DJ]

Hello? Kyle.

[Andy Frisella]

What's up, dude?

[Kyle]

Oh, what's up, dj?

[Andy Frisella]

What's going on, bro? How are you?

[Kyle]

I'm all right. Let me get to an area that's not so damn noisy.

[Andy Frisella]

Now. You good?

[Kyle]

Caught me. On a roof.

[DJ]

On a roof. You're on the roof?

[Kyle]

Yes, sir. Can you hear me okay?

[DJ]

Yeah, don't jump.

[Andy Frisella]

Don't do it.

[DJ]

It ain't that bad, bro.

[Kyle]

I'm thinking about it, bro.

[DJ]

Yeah, it ain't that bad.

[Kyle]

How's it going, fellas?

[DJ]

Doing good, Kyle. How you doing, bro?

[Kyle]

I'm good, man.

[DJ]

Good.

[Kyle]

Actually got some. Some rain up here in Washington state right now, dude.

[DJ]

Isn't it. I think it's. Isn't it always raining up there?

[Kyle]

Yeah, I usually get probably two weeks in the spring and two weeks in the fall. It's actually, like, comfortable weather for me to work. The rest is either hot as or below 12.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, no.

[DJ]

That sounds pleasant. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Get why you're on the roof.

[DJ]

Yeah. So that's why you're on the roof.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

All right. So what can we help you with, brother?

[Kyle]

So I forget what I wrote. I imagine had something to do with changing direction on my life, though, because I'm at that point now at 38. I've done this for 20 years of my life. Six of those were as an entrepreneur when I was real young and stupid. Lost my business during the recession. But when my wife had our boy, her kidneys failed. So I had to get, you know, a good job with, you know, awesome health benefits. So went to the union rippers and been doing that for the last 13 years, and now she's finally got her transplant. So we're able to have a little bit more freedom and figure out, like, what we want to do, because in all honesty, I am just border roofing, man, and I got a few things lined up. But the problem is it's going to be a pay cut right off the bat until I work my way up. And at 38, giving my family the lifestyle. You know, I'm coaching my boy. Right now is the last year I get to coach him until he goes to high school. Do I just suck it up and keep doing what I'm doing, giving them the lifestyle they become accustomed to or figure out something else. And is it too late at 38 to start from somewhere, a whole new industry, and work my way up?

[DJ]

Well, look, man, that's. That's a lot. And I think a lot of people get to be the age that you're at, and they start to consider these things that you're considering. Is this really what I want to do? Is this really what I want my life to be? You're. It's not too late, all right? So let's just get that out of the way. Especially with the technology that's available today, the scale at which someone can enter a business, build a business, and bear fruit with that business is much quicker than it used to be. It's significantly quicker than what it was when you were, you know, doing this back in 2008. All right? So the reality of the situation that you have to deal with right now is, do I want to take a step back for three years, to take a step forward for the next 50? And if you think about it like that, it's. The answer is very obvious, okay? And a lot of people ruin their lives because they don't want to take a step back when they have to to move forward. And the reality of success is that at points in time along our journey, we have to take steps back. And sometimes that looks like. For an entrepreneur, that would look like not getting paid for a year or two. I've gone through a number of phases like that in my entrepreneurial journey where I don't get paid from the companies in order to let that money work for me in other ways, for, you know, an employee, for someone else that might look like, you know, downsizing your car, downsizing your apartment, downsizing your house, you know? But I think it's important, dude, to think about this in a scale of decades, not in a scale of the immediate discomfort that it might cause you or your family. Let's be real, bro, material shit, as cool as it is, house, car, lifestyle, it's really not that important. And once you've experienced any of it, it's not. It's not a huge deal. Being satisfied with where you are, what you do, what you accomplish, and fulfilled with what you do with your life is far more important than taking a step back financially for a few years while you figure something out. Now, with that all being said, it's very important that you know where you're going to go from here. And don't just say, hey, I'm going to jump off this cliff because I Don't want to fucking do this thing anymore and then not know what to do because that will. That will end up in a place that's not very good. So my advice, bro, is like, if you were my brother and I was saying, hey, Kyle, look, man, you hate what you do, okay? You don't like it, you're over it, you've already done it. Do you think you could do it for another 30 years? What's your answer?

[Kyle]

No.

[DJ]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Physically, I mean.

[DJ]

Well, no, you can't, bro. Mentally or physically. Let's say you could do it physically for another 30 years. You know what you're going to think at the end of 30 years, I could have done so much other. You know what I'm saying? And like, bro, you. I can hear it in your voice, bro, you're. This path for you is exhausted. It's going to require you to make some changes. But at the end of the day, brother, you know, I think you already know what you need to do.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I just. The issue is I spent 20 years becoming a master at what I do, right? Yeah, that's, you know, roofing, construction, whatever, right? All my other skill sets, like, I'm. I'm good with computers. I got great discipline, work ethic, all that. That's. That's all well and good, but I have no other marketable skills besides what I put on my resume for the last 20 years. I can't go into a different industry, just say I'm disciplined and I got grit and fortitude, but in the spades.

[DJ]

Is there not.

[Kyle]

That's where it's not. You know, half of what I.

[DJ]

It depends on what you're trying to do. What do you. What are you wanting to do? What are your. When you said you had other things to do, what were they?

[Kyle]

Well, I got one option at longshoreman and five, six years come to captain of boat, and the other is pretty much entrepreneurship. That's really my only other options.

[DJ]

You don't think that you've learned enough skill about construction and roofing to do your own thing as an entrepreneur in that. In that lane?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, I just gotta find the money to do it.

[DJ]

Well, I mean, bro, that's everybody's problem, right? Everybody's problem is they gotta find the money to do it. Like, you're gonna have to back the up off your financial obligations and reinvest and start small. That's. That's what it takes, dude. Listen, at the end of the day, here's what it is. You can either you can continue to do what you do. You already said you don't like it. You already said you're tired of it. Okay, yeah, you can go be a longshoreman like you said. That sounds pretty cool. I think that'd be fun. But I bet if you did that for five, six years, you're going to say, I don't like this either. Okay, it sounds cool because it's new, and at the end of the day, you've already started a business. It failed. That doesn't mean that you're a bad entrepreneur. Most entrepreneurs go through failure after failure after failure. But you got to understand that that comes with a different level of anxiety, stress, you know, it's just a different life, man. And I can't tell you what life you're going to be the happiest to live. But what I can tell you is that if you're thinking what you're thinking now, in two years, it's going to be worse. In four years, it's going to be worse. And eight years, it's going to be worse. And you're going to have to decide and make a decision, brother, and then just stick with it. Because at your age, you know, this is probably. We're getting to the point where, you know, just talking real. You probably only got one chance to redo your life at this age, so it's not like you're gonna have another one at 60. You know what I mean?

[Kyle]

And that's where I'm at. Yeah, absolutely.

[DJ]

Yeah. So it's important that you think, you know, decades ahead, bro, where. What do you want to say about your life when you are 60? What do you want to say when you're 70? Do you want to say, I spent my whole life doing roofing, even though I hated it? Or do you want to say, I had the balls to change something up and I did whatever the it takes to work. I can tell you this, dude, if you're not all in on making whatever decision that you want to make from here, work, no matter what, you shouldn't make any moves because you'll end up flat on your face. But you already said you have discipline, grit this, that, the other. You know, you ask how to market that. I mean, marketing, that comes from your own displaying of results of what you've already created. So, I mean, bro, I. I don't. I can't tell you what to do with your life, but I can tell you that if you continue down the same path that you're on, you're going to have regrets. And most People don't want that.

[Kyle]

Oh, you're absolutely right. And, yeah, you. You're right earlier. I do know what I need to do.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, I know you do. You're. You're not. You. You already do know. It's just. It's uncomfortable. And you got to realize, bro, that most people will stay in that uncomfortable situation their entire lives and then just eat the regret later and say, oh, I had a good life. And, dude, if we're being real, that's. That's ass. That's okay. You're not a. You're. You haven't. You got to have the courage to be. Look, man, if you don't have the courage to become what it is you want to do or become what it is you want to become, it's going to be you that has to go in the hole with the regret. So it's all about what you want to deal with. For me, you know, I. I don't want to have to wonder if I went hard. I don't want to have to wonder if I had courage. I don't want to have to wonder if I was just being afraid. And for me, when I start to feel like I need to make a move or make a decision or move forward, I just do it. Because the minute I start thinking about it, I know about myself. It's just going to grow and grow and grow and grow and grow until it gets so uncomfortable that I have to move anyway. So, bro, I, I, I understand where you're at, and I understand your hesitancy, because real consequences ride on it. And, and that's okay, dude. You could say, hey, I want to stay in this another year, and then I'm going to do this. I'm going to wait until my son gets out of high school, and then I'm going to do this. But I just don't want you to go for another 30 years, bro, and be like, fuck, I wish I had done something different. That's all I'm saying.

[Kyle]

Well, I appreciate it, man. Thank you, guys.

[DJ]

Yeah. I mean, what do you think, bro?

[Kyle]

No, I mean, you said it. That's exactly what I got to do. I mean, I'm going to regret it either way. I spent my life, my entire working career working my balls off and being uncomfortable as it is. So I'm either uncomfortable doing this or uncomfortable making a change for the better.

[DJ]

There you go.

[Kyle]

Easy, bro.

[DJ]

And on top of it, man, like, those skills that you learned are valuable skills. They're going to be more valuable the next three or Four years anyway, because so much technology is going to replace these pencil pusher jobs. You know, there's an opportunity for you right now to move into as a roofing entrepreneur and innovate the roofing space. I mean, right now, like, right now is the perfect time for it. There's going to be new technology, there's going to be new equipment, there's going to be new ways to do things. And these older guys, they're not going to adjust. They're going to say, just like everything that happens, you know, we don't need cars because we got horses. And that's going to be, that's going to be a major opportunity in construction. People who start construction companies or start blue collar tradesmen jobs who are willing to innovate and build businesses off of the technology available are going to beat these older guys who, you know, we, dude, look, I grew up around construction too. We all know the kind of guys that do it. They're like this, hey, that's not how we used to do it. We did it like this. And that's how we're going to do it. And we're going to do it like that until the wheels fall off. They're not very open to, to evolution. And if you can be, you know, that's where your, that's where your lane is, you know, the shit you, you, you are already keeping up with technology. You said you're good with computers. Pour yourself a little bit more into that. Start thinking about how you can innovate the roofing business and, and work towards something like that, dude. Like that way you can look back and say, well, you know, I, I, I didn't waste my life. I went to school for 20 years for this. That makes me a expert, you know. So, dude, I personally see lots of options for you. I just think you gotta, you've got to push past that. Playing the middle, right? Like the, the playing of the middle, the uncertainty, that's what exhausts people, that's what wears people out. And you know, you, you've just got to decide, hey, this is my plan, this is what I'm going to do and you got to go do it. If you, if you're waffle, it'll fail. You know what I mean?

[Kyle]

Yes, I do. Guys, I, I can't, I can't thank you enough. I appreciate time and what you do for everybody so well.

[DJ]

Look man, you're going through a natural part of life and I think you got a great opportunity in front of you. It's just about making that commitment, going and making it work.

[Kyle]

So thank you again, man. I appreciate it, brother.

[DJ]

All right. See, Kyle, thanks for your brother.

[Kyle]

I see.

[Andy Frisella]

Did something I was thinking about during that. That conversation, and. And you pointed this out to me years ago, but just on the. The idea of just being a little uncomfortable, it actually helps propel you forward. It keeps that drive alive almost, right?

[DJ]

Hold on, man. You can't win without it. Yeah, you can't win without it. This is something that people have to understand you. In the beginning, it's very easy to move forward because you don't have an option. All right? When you're. When you're broke and you don't have shit going on for you, you have to eat, you got to pay your bills, so you have to go do things. When you get in a situation like Kyle's in where he's making a decent living, he's working hard, he's getting paid, he's taking care of his family, that allows him a certain level of comfort, which makes it harder to make the decision. All right? So the pressure. I call it zero options mentality is required to succeed. And a lot of people, they will say, well, if this doesn't work, then I'll do this. Well, if that doesn't work, then I'll do this. And they make all these contingencies, and because they have these contingencies, they don't go all in on the initial plan, which is what's required for it to work. And the real trick is that whenever you start to become successful and you start to build some, you know, means you can afford dinner and a decent car and a nice house and you're not starving, that's where it becomes extremely important for you to leverage inside of your own mind the idea that you don't have any other choice but to do it. And that may require you fabricating a story or taking extra responsibility for the people that work for you. Right? Like, I know that I'm not legitimately responsible for everybody's life, but the story I tell myself so that I get out of bed and go hard is that if I don't get out of bed and go hard, these are gonna starve. And so that's. That I'm. That's not acceptable to me. So that's a zero option mentality that I'm developing. You see what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Absolutely.

[DJ]

And so in the beginning, it's easy because you actually have zero options. But where you're. Where Kyle is, you know that now you have options. So it's like really hard to move. And it's especially hard when you've worked so hard to have stability, to take a little bit of that off the table, to move forward on what you actually want to do. And sometimes for some people, the right move is to stay right where the you are because you're not going to fully commit to anything else. So that's why it's such a hard question for me to answer for him. Because I'm not him.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying? If I were him, knowing how I am, I would absolutely do what I said. I would stay in it. And while I'm in it, I would start fabricating a plan around how we're going to innovate the roofing business. Something I know a lot of everything about. I'm a master. Like in his words, how are we going to do this with technology? How are we going to do this with, with the changes that are coming? What's the roofing industry going to look like in five years? How can I get there before everybody else? And that's where I'm working. If I'm him.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, absolutely. Come down on the gas station taquitos.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Start saving up something, bro.

[DJ]

A little goes a long way. You know, it's like what Ramsey says, you know, no, no starbies.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's right.

[DJ]

So I mean, dude, you know, a lot of people tease Dave Ramsey, but like Dave Ramsey is. Gives a lot of really good practical advice for people to free up their income and their debt to be free at something later. And I actually agree with them. I think most people live beyond their means. They get caught up in this rat race. They have way more than they actually need to be happy. It's short lived and it puts them in a financial bind that, that enslaves them for their entire life. And the truth of the matter is, is like the good that you really want, that requires passing on the Jordans, that requires passing on the, on the, you know, the five series Beamer or whatever the. You're trying to flex in front of your neighbors with like Dave Ramsey's selling a $15 million mansion in Nashville right now. It's badass. But he didn't get there by, you know, stretching himself thin up until that point.

[Andy Frisella]

Right.

[DJ]

So you have to understand, like, you know, you can have these little luxuries, but these little luxuries that you're stretching to have keep the big life that you want from happening. And there's a lot of truth to that.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, bro, there's A fine line of like being able to tread right now.

[DJ]

Once you get enough offense going and you're just, you're, you know, you're printing, that's a different thing, right? But like when you're first start getting started and you're trying to work out of where Kyle is, that's required. It's, it's what it is. And a lot of people will trap themselves their whole life because their ego won't allow them to take a couple steps back. They don't want to be seen driving a used car. They don't want to downsize their house because they're afraid of what their friends will say. You know what I'm saying? You shouldn't be worried about that. You should be thinking about what they're going to say when you roll up in your brand new roles because you innovated the roofing business, right?

[Andy Frisella]

That's real man. Yeah, that's real. I love it man. Well guys, let's get question number two going. We have a write in question number two. Good morning Andy and DJ. A little background on myself. I'm a 47 year old mom, wife, veteran, deputy rancher and all time follower of your content. I'm on my fourth 75 heart and seek mental toughness and control on the daily. My question for your expertise, knowing your mindset and experience. I have adult sons and other friends and family that I know for a fact need 75 hard in their life. One son struggles with weight and has attempted 75 hard two times. But when failing makes excuses to get back on board. I find myself having a zero empathetic attitude towards the people who that refuse to do the work to help themselves. How do you help and support people that you care for when you know what they need to do to help themselves but they refuse to do it? I find myself biting my tongue in so many conversations to basically save my relationship with them but it stresses me out because I want to just be real with them and I'm sure I would not come across the right way. I would appreciate your thoughts on this in hopes that you have ideas on how to approach it. Have a kick ass day here.

[DJ]

I'll solve it to you in three words. Tell the truth. If the fucker's fat, tell him he's fat. When I was £350 none of my friends told me I was fat. And you know what I wish they had. I had to listen to the Internet tell me fat. And when the Internet was telling me I was fat I was like, I guess I'M fat and I lost 100 pounds. Okay? So my answer to you is probably not the answer that you would like and it's probably not the socially accepted answer, but I would bully the out of them until they stop putting food in their mouth and get off their fat ass and started working. If you really care about them. If you really care about them. Okay, here's the thing. They're never going to do it by you just saying. I really would like to see you do that. That is not enough pressure. It's not enough pressure. They have to feel like about themselves. They have to look in the mirror and say, I'm a fat, lazy slob. And however you can facilitate them learning to observe that on their own, the quicker they will change. And that's just reality. And people don't like that. They say it's mean. They say it might be mean. But you know what's meaner than that? Allowing someone to be a fat piece of shit who won't do the work, who constantly complains about being fat and unhealthy and doesn't, you know, know what to do.

[Andy Frisella]

That you say you love and.

[DJ]

Careful. Yeah. That you say you love and care for, but you keep, you keep, you know, babying them and, and you know.

[Andy Frisella]

Like hurt their feelings.

[DJ]

It's not. You don't have to. I'm just telling you how I would do it. I'm not saying how you need to do it, but that's how I would do it. I make fun of them. Yeah, until they stopped. I mean, how much weight are you down?

[Andy Frisella]

I'm down £45.

[DJ]

Yeah, and it's because I call you a fat every single day. It's part of it. So do these guys.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, well, it's mainly if Madad does.

[DJ]

It a lot, actually. Listen, dude, if you really care about people, you tell them the truth. Otherwise it's fake care. You care about yourself, okay? If you don't want to offend people with the truth, it's because you lack the courage or the care that you claim to have to actually deliver the truth in a meaningful way. I have zero empathy for people like that as well. And the reason that I have zero empathy for people like that as well is because I have conquered that problem for myself. And I realize that if I can conquer that problem for myself, so can anybody. So I totally agree with you. And I think you're putting too much weight into being quote, unquote nice or whatever you think that is. But I. I just see things different, bro. I see I see kindness and niceness pretty much different than what everybody else sees it as. Like, I see kindness and niceness as the truth. I think if you actually care about someone, you will tell them the truth. I. I think if you actually want someone to be happy and you know what? They need to change, you will tell them the truth. And I think people that don't are full of shit.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, I think too, like, it's also important too to make like, to continue to be that example for them. They'll see.

[DJ]

Yeah, I mean that's, that's.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Because, like, I mean, that's a big.

[DJ]

What do you say it was his kids?

[Andy Frisella]

It's her sons. Yeah.

[DJ]

How old are they?

[Andy Frisella]

It didn't say.

[DJ]

She's.

[Andy Frisella]

She's 47.

[DJ]

So they're probably 20.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Somewhere in there.

[DJ]

Yeah. So, yeah, they're old enough to fucking.

[Andy Frisella]

They can take it here.

[DJ]

Here's the reality too. They should realize, like, look, dude, if you're overweight in a significant way, your life experience is completely different than what it would be if you were in shit. Completely different. So people who are fit, people who are healthy, people who take care of themselves send a message to everybody in every situation, whether it be the people they work for, whether it be their potential mates in a relationship, whether it be their friend group, anybody, their kids, they are sending a completely different message which brings back a completely different quality of life. And when I was £350, I would have argued that. And I did argue that. I said, hey, you know what? I'm a great entrepreneur. You know how much better I got when I lost a hundred fucking pounds? You know how much more money I made? You know how much more opportunity I got? Like, it's not comparable. And if you want the best for your sons, you should probably explain to them, like things that are going to matter to them, you know, like, hey, do you like girls?

[Andy Frisella]

It's very simple.

[DJ]

I mean, serious, that's real. Do you like girls? Yeah, I like girls. Well, do you know why you're not getting any? Because you can't see your own dick. Okay. And like, that's the truth.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Listen, if you're fat, you're gonna have a limited selection of women, unless you are insanely hilarious like Shane Gillis.

[Andy Frisella]

That's real.

[DJ]

Okay?

[Andy Frisella]

That's real.

[DJ]

But you're. No, no, girls want to mo. When they're that age. They don't. Or any age. They don't want to fucking. I know there's chubby Chasers and shit. But like, I'm just saying, in general, your opportunities are going to be limited in every.

[Andy Frisella]

In every area or during the wintertime when it's colder out, they need a little bit more warmth.

[DJ]

Yeah, maybe. I mean, that's something that I told myself when I was fat.

[Andy Frisella]

It's real, man.

[DJ]

You know?

[Andy Frisella]

It's real.

[DJ]

I just don't think. You know, I think if someone had sat down and explained it to me when I was 20 years old and said, if you don't get in shape, you're not going to make money and you're not going to meet girls, I would take it serious, because that's what I cared about at 20.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I mean?

[Andy Frisella]

Just tied to something they actually care about. Yeah, that's real, man. You know, I want to ask you this because I feel like a common thing out there, too.

[DJ]

But also remember, 75 hard isn't for fucking fitness. It's a fucking mental transformation program. So also, you should be explaining to them in a very real way that if you don't learn how to follow through on your plans, you're never going to be successful at anything. And that's what that program solves. It solves the problem of adherence. And when people can't adhere to any plan, they can't be successful in anything. So we have to build our discipline and our toughness and. And our grit and our fortitude, everything that contributes to our ability to follow through on the plans that we set forth for ourselves in order for us to have a fulfilling, successful life. If you can't adhere to very simple things such as, I'm not going to put X in my mouth and I'm going to get off the couch and walk for an hour. Like, if you can't do these things, you can't. You don't have. You can't do anything. You understand?

[Andy Frisella]

Absolutely, man.

[DJ]

You can't do anything. So you have to fix the problem of adherence before you start saying, oh, I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that, or I'm gonna do this or I'm. You ain't doing. Because you can't even control what goes in your mouth, you know? You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Absolutely.

[DJ]

Like, a lot of people are like, oh, well, that this program's better than that. For what? There's not a better program in the world to teach discipline. That's why there's billions of hashtags all over the goddamn Internet.

[Andy Frisella]

I love it, man.

[DJ]

Well, I just get tired of It.

[Andy Frisella]

I love it.

[DJ]

Yeah. I mean, bro, do your kids want to be fat or do they not? Do your kids want to be broke or do they not? Do your kids want to get or do they not? I'm sure they want to say yes to all of those things. Whether your mom tells you. Probably not. You know, that's probably not what they want to hear.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Hey, boys, you want to get some? Want to get some, boy, bro, it's the truth.

[Andy Frisella]

It's the truth.

[DJ]

People don't like the truth. You just say it like this. No, I'm going to say it like I say it. Be miserable or fix it.

[Andy Frisella]

I love it, man.

[DJ]

You either are or you aren't. It is or it isn't. They're either doing it or they're not doing it. Like, that's it. And I don't know, like, how to soft hand feed somebody the truth to where it's going to affect them in a way. Like, have you ever. Has anybody ever, ever, ever, ever? I want everybody to think about it. Have you ever had a polite conversation with someone and then they completely change their behavior? Do you. Have you ever seen a football coach walk on the field with a bunch of grown men and say, hey, guys, I'd really appreciate it if you went out there and you execute the play? And I really appreciate that. You did it perfectly. And have you ever seen a coach that does it like that when. Okay, so the truth of the matter is, is this is what people respond to. People respond to confrontation. They respond to directness. They respond to truth. And they respond to it in a. When you present it in a way like, hey, man, I care about you, but you're a turd, okay? And you need to fix it. And that's what I found works the best, whether it be in a team or whether it be as an individual. I've never had a team and I've never had an individual as much as they've cried about sometimes the way that the message is delivered. I've never had someone respond properly to. I really would like to see you be a little more healthy. I've never seen it. No, there's a. There's a reason that when you go to boot camp, they say, get your ass on that spot right now. And it's because most people are so and so soft that they. That's the only thing they can respond to is the. The fear that something might actually happen.

[Andy Frisella]

To them if they don't.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, that's real. I think, too. It's like, you Know, ultimately, man, you can't want it more than somebody else wants.

[DJ]

That's it.

[Andy Frisella]

For themselves.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

That comes in time, you know. They gotta want it, man.

[DJ]

Yeah, well, I mean, bring your kids up here. I'll tell them the truth. I'm just being real. Most y' all parents, no offense to this lady that wrote this in, but most y' all parents, the reason your kids suck is because you suck. You won't have real conversations with them. You won't hold the line. You don't live a life that. That. That you think they should live, and then you expect them to just magically sprout into these amazing individuals. It's not gonna fucking happen, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

So it's real, man. That's real. Let's get caller number two. Question number three. Let's knock this out. We got John. Let's get John on the phone.

[John]

Hello, this is John.

[Andy Frisella]

Hey, John. What's going on, man?

[John]

D.J. what's going on, buddy?

[Andy Frisella]

I can't call it just another day, you know. Just a squirrel trying to find a nut. What's going on with you?

[John]

Oh, just checking boxes, man. Working away.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Where are you calling from?

[John]

North Idaho.

[Andy Frisella]

North Idaho.

[DJ]

We got. We got.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, we got Washington, now we got Idaho. All right. I don't.

[John]

Porter Lane. All right.

[Andy Frisella]

That's sick, man.

[DJ]

Yep.

[John]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, we got the big dog here. How can we help?

[John]

Oh, boy. Andy, how you doing?

[DJ]

I'm doing good, brother. How are you?

[John]

Good, man. Good, good. I got one for you today.

[DJ]

I.

[John]

Something that I. Maybe I should give you a little backstory on. Four years in business and doing construction, excavation work, stuff like that. And, you know, you see guys come and go, new businesses. Then you see guys that end up, you know, sticking around, and you get a little competitive with them, seeing them, you know, scoring jobs or landing jobs you've bid on or wanted, and, you know, whether it pisses you off and fuels the fire a little bit, I always thought that was normal, but.

[DJ]

A.

[John]

Buddy of mine started doing the same thing. And at first, I was kind of helping them out and, you know, teaching them tricks to trade and whatnot. And I found myself getting, you know, starting to get annoyed when he was landing jobs, because it seems like, you know, everyone and his mother knows everybody that's looking for the kind of work we do. And it started kind of making me feel like, am I. Am I a piece of. For thinking this way, or, you know, is it okay to think this way? Should I just use it to be more competitive and try harder or you know, I'm kind of just don't know what to do with it.

[DJ]

You mean negative feelings?

[John]

Yeah, you know, or just, you know, he'll get a, you know, all my, my uncle's buddies building five houses and he's got all this work for me and I'm just like, are you kidding me?

[Andy Frisella]

So this, this was your best friend that started the same business as you, you helped him and now got it?

[John]

Yep.

[DJ]

Well, I mean, why is he doing better than you?

[John]

Well, I've asked myself that and it, you know, it. Honestly, it feels like it just comes down that he just knows more people. Well, you know, I feel like I go out grinding and knocking doors and calling, dropping off flyers and then they'll call me up, be like, oh, yeah, my uncle's brother's got this property for me to do all this work on. And then it's just like, well, all the time.

[DJ]

Well, first of all, is it true? Is what he's saying true? Second of all, it doesn't matter, but I mean, these are questions that you should ask yourself. One, is he full of? Okay, because I have a lot of people that, that you know. And by the way, a lot of you know their names because they happen to be pretty famous on the Internet who tell me all kinds of they're doing and, and they're usually full of, and it never materializes and I never see it. And you know, we're doing this, so we're doing that, and we got this, this and this and this and this valuation and that. And then nothing ever changes in their life. So that's a natural thing amongst people who want to be competitive, is that people will flat out lie to you to make you feel like. Secondly, if it is true. Why is it true? Well, you answered the question. It seems like he knows more people than me. So if that's the problem, then what you have is an awareness problem. You need more people to know who the fuck you are. So what are you going to do to make that happen? How are you going to solve that problem? Because if it's just as simple as more people know him or he knows more people, then you have, you know exactly what it's going to take to get business. You, you. I mean, assuming that's what it is. Okay, I don't know if that's what it is. I don't know. I don't know if, if he's actually having more work. I don't know if he's full of shit. I don't know if the real Problem is, is that he knows more people. But I think deep down you probably know exactly why he's doing more than you. And I think you need to be honest with yourself about what that is and then address that problem. Because if I was blessed enough to be able to recognize where I was failing, then I would put my attention into that area so that that would get my business on the level of where I would want it to be. But at the same time, like, your goal, what is your goal? Your goal isn't to, like, outdo this guy, right? Like, that's not, that's not a real goal. Your real goal should be your goal. And your goal should be so big that you're consumed with how well you have to execute to achieve that goal. All right? And like I say all the time, there's so many people that waste their time and their energy. When our time and our energy are our most valuable resource, we only get limited amounts of it every single day on a 24 hour period. All right? And if we spend it watching, you know, Steve's business and Steve's business, we is doing all these things and we're getting jealous and we're getting that feeling in our stomach where everything's on fire and this and that. We don't have the energy to work on our own. And what I do to handle these things is I make sure that I have a massive plan that I need to work on. And then I make sure that when I do get competitive or I do get jealous or I do start to get aggravated at other people's, that the minute I feel that coming on, I go to my plan and start executing on my plan. And I think that productivity pivot is one of the most valuable things anybody can learn how to do. Because one, we're no longer looking over here. We're focused on our own thing. Number two, I don't care what anybody says, the most valuable energy that we get is the dark side, negative energy. So I would say the fact that you're getting pissed off is pretty good. I think that's a great asset. I would much rather work with someone who felt that way than someone who just like, oh, well, you know, Steve's, Steve's doing it and I'm just happy for him. I would much rather work for the guy who says, I'm gonna fucking stomp on Steve's motherfucking throat with how successful I'm gonna be. Those people win.

[John]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And the, the, the reason that those people win is because eventually they figure out how to Harness the attention and the. The energy and the attention the right way. So, you know, don't think that. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, bro. Like, if you and I were partners, I'd be like, fuck yeah, bro. I love the John. John's got. Love that, dude. Like that. Not many people have that dog, bro. And when you have it, you got to figure out how to use it, because you will hear people say things like this. Well, that negativity will burn you down if you're not careful. Says the guy with no money in his bank account. All right, the. Yeah. The reality is, dude, is being a competitor is part of being successful in business. And you're obviously a competitor because right or wrong, it bothers you when other people win. There's this famous saying in the movie no country for Old Men. Where is it? No country. No, it's. There Will Be Blood. The movie. There will Be blood. He says. He said you. You ever seen that movie?

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[DJ]

Okay. You know, at the part. There's a part in the movie where the main character, Daniel Day Lewis, goes, It's not just that I want to win. I want everybody else to fucking lose. I don't want anybody to have anything. And, like, bro, that's the extreme nature of a competitor. And while they may not mean that literally, like, I really don't want people to starve, but, you know, I want to win, bro. Like, I'm trying to win.

[John]

And, yeah, that's the mindset.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, That's a healthy way to think when you're in business and other people depend on you. I mean, that's a great way to be. And these other fucking people on the Internet, writing all this feel good, you know? Fucking bullshit gets our minds up. Like, we're competitors. That's what we're supposed to do. You don't talk to a gladiator right before he's going out into the arena and say, hey, I hope you have a peaceful journey, my son. Like, no, you're gonna be like, hey, you better swing that ax as hard as you can and cut that dude's head off. Like, are you gonna die?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andy Frisella]

Like, literally.

[DJ]

Yeah. Like, this is just something that most people aren't cut out for, which is why the most of the advice out here is so off from what it should be. So anyway, to summarize my little rant here, bro, One, I think it's awesome that you're. That you burn hot. Number two, all you got to do is harness that into your own. It doesn't matter if your buddy's doing it for real or not, but just remember, he's probably lying or exaggerating at least half as much. And for me, I have to. I have to. Yeah, bro. I have to remember that because DJ knows this. I'll get so fucking pissed off, dude. That. And then I have to remind myself, well, they're probably lying. At least half of it's lie. So, you know, take that energy, pour it into your mission. Create your mission that's so big, so fucking powerful that it's going to take your whole entire life to do it. And you won't have time to worry about what the that's doing. And the pro. The thing you got to be careful of right here is that you want to make sure that you don't become beholden to this guy's limits by continuing to compete with this guy who doesn't really have a big plan. A lot of people will really up their lives by competing with the wrong person because the wrong person isn't committed to, like, a big vision. So, like, you know, like, is it really a win? Beating someone who's really not got that big of a thing going? That's not really a win. So, you know, let's get clear about. About what's a win for John? What's John trying to do? And then focus on those things. And then when you get. When you get jealous and you get mad and you get angry, like we all do, anybody who says they don't, they're liars. Take that energy and focus it on your plan, bro. And. And before you know it, you'll be so far ahead of everybody else who you used to piss you off, you'll forget that they used to piss you off, because a whole new group of people will piss you off. Yeah, it's the truth. Like, I used to get mad at, like, local people that would do stuff, right? And then it would be, like, national people. And now, like, I look at people that I honestly shouldn't be looking at at this point, and I'm like, that guy.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, right, right.

[DJ]

You know, like, but while he's still.

[Andy Frisella]

On the phone to actually this. How should he be handling his best friend? Like, I mean, does he keep it cordial with them?

[DJ]

Yeah, I mean, look, bro, I'd make fun of him. I'd be like, oh, yeah, five houses, all right. Yeah, I know you got all the connections, bro. Okay, Donald Trump, you know, Like, I'd make fun of him, but, like, you Know. Yeah, dude, I got friends that are full of. We all got friends that are full of. Part. Part of being friends with people is how good of. Full of shit they are. Like, do they tell a good story? Like, can they make you laugh? Are they good people? Like the dude fish. Fish stories, you know? Like, they.

[Andy Frisella]

They caught the biggest one.

[DJ]

Yeah, bro, it's. It's. It's as old as time. Like, you're not gonna. You're not gonna change people's. You know? Like, I. I like people like that. I like people that are a little full of. They got funny stories. You. You know, you can't really take them too serious, you know, and then when they start exaggerating their. You know, you got to call them on it, and I think that's what makes good friendships.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know?

[John]

Yeah.

[DJ]

So.

[John]

Yeah, that's true. That's good, man.

[DJ]

Yeah. And, bro, also, I think there's more to that, too. Like, a real winner. Like a real winner. They want to be friends with other people that are winning, even though it pisses you off, right? People will say, I want all my other friends to win. Yeah, you do, but not because you want them to win. It's because you've learned about yourself that when other win that are in your vicinity, you are so competitive that, you know, you will step up to compete with that person. So, like, my friends, good to have those people. My friends, the people I associate with are all successful people, but do not think for a second that I'm not trying to beat them. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's. And they know that, and I know that about them.

[Andy Frisella]

It's understood. Yeah, it's understood.

[DJ]

But they're also the same people that if I called and I said, hey, man, I need to borrow, you know, money because I'm low on cash, they'd all be like, all right, how much you need? You know what I mean?

[John]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

So, you know, it's. It's just about learning where you fit in the game and how to navigate these different personalities, and then, you know, most importantly, how to harness our own fire in the right direction. And, bro, I don't think you're a bad guy for thinking that. I think, you know, I think you're an honest guy for thinking that. And I think there's very few honest people that will communicate what you just did here on the show and what I did back to you. But I know for a fact all the names, all the people that you look up to and maybe watch on Social Media, they're all the same. They just don't say it on the Internet. They're all competitive. They all want to win. They all hate when other people win. And then they. They act nice about it, right? Like, it's. Yeah. Like, I will straight up tell them, like, I'll be like, hey, I'm gonna beat you, bro. Like, I'm gonna beat your ass. And they'll be like, oh, you think so? Like, yeah, I really do. And then we'll smoke a cigar. Right? You know what I'm saying? Like, so. It's all good, bro. You know, the best friends you're ever gonna have are the people you compete with. That's the truth. The best friends in the world that I've developed over the course of 25 years in business are people that I've. People that I've competed with because there's a natural respect that you have that's mutual.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

You know what I mean?

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah, that's good. I haven't thought of that before. That's awesome.

[DJ]

Yeah. So how old are you, bro?

[John]

Just turned 32.

[DJ]

Oh, bro. Yeah, I didn't figure most of this shit out till I was, like, after 40. So, like, you're way ahead, bro. You're doing good.

[John]

Thank you.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Love it, man.

[DJ]

All right, John. Hey, man, get. Get a little. Get a little swim in that lake for us up there. It's a beautiful spot you're at.

[John]

I will. Absolutely.

[DJ]

All right, brother. Well, hey, man, keep the fire going, dude. That. That'll take you places. Take you a lot further. It'll take you a lot further than having inner peace.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Crystals and shots.

[John]

I'll learn how to use that dark energy you've been talking about.

[DJ]

I think it's. I think it's.80 of. Most of the successful people's energy is dark energy. They just don't admit it. So that's my experience from being around people behind the scenes.

[Andy Frisella]

Love it, man.

[John]

Yeah. I heard it from the first time from your. Your show a couple years ago.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[John]

Talking about it. It was badass. I've listened to it a few times.

[DJ]

Well, that means you're one of us, so. So, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

And. And if you're up, so am I. So we can be fucked up together.

[John]

So that's what it takes.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's right. All right, brother. Well, hey, man, I appreciate you calling in, dude, and appreciate all the good work you're doing up there and the hard work you're doing. Keep it up. You know, we need that in the world.

[John]

We will, absolutely. Thank you.

[DJ]

All right, brother, we'll talk to you soon.

[John]

All right, see ya.

[Kyle]

See you, dj.

[Andy Frisella]

See you, brother. Yeah, I just wanted to ask that. That friend question, man, because I feel like some people, like, all right, well, that guy, that. I won't ever talk to him again.

[DJ]

Nah.

[Andy Frisella]

But to your point, like, you could use that person.

[DJ]

Not only that, why would I not want to talk to him if he's giving me all kinds of good energy to use? Sometimes you got to piss yourself off on purpose, man. Yeah. Like, bro, when you're really good, like, there's stories about Michael Jordan doing this. Michael Jordan. When Michael Jordan was at the peak of his career, nobody was talking on Jordan. Nobody was coming out saying, bro, I'm going to hold Jordan to eight points. It's not happening, bro. So because everybody talks and everybody respect him so much, he started telling himself stories. He would make up stories about what people said about him and then go out on the court and look at the in the eye and be like, I heard what you said about me. And the guy's like, what?

[Andy Frisella]

Michael?

[DJ]

Yeah, and he's like, I heard it. I saw in the paper. I read it. Like, there's nothing in the paper, you know, like. But this is the psychotic nature of ultra competitors, bro. Like, you have to figure out how to flip the switches on in internally to get the result that you want. And sometimes that requires a fucking paranoia imagination, like, where you're making shit up. Like, man, these motherfuckers, they all think they can fucking come take my shit. And like, you know, I might go talk to them and they're like, fuck, dude, I never even thought about that. Like, I was actually going to quit my business, you know, Like. Like, dude, like, you just. It's just part of being competitive, bro. So, like, we have to fucking understand that, you know, that. That is. That's part of it, dude. You know, sometimes you got. It goes back to what we were saying about zero options. Sometimes you. You have to manufacture that intensity and that urgency and that competitiveness, especially when you're dominant, like when you're beating the. Out of everybody and everybody knows it. Now you got to make something up to prove you know what I mean, bro? But what I said is the truth, bro. There's never been a. There's never this polite niceness and courtesy that everybody types on the Internet that doesn't win. It's impractical advice. It's written by people who've never won.

[Andy Frisella]

It's idealistic. It sounds good.

[DJ]

Listen, dj, Nice. I'm just telling you, it's. It's written by people who have never won. And the only who have ever won doing it are these therapists who promise this idealistic bullshit and purposefully victimize people and keep them trapped in their little business cycle. That's the only motherfuckers that win with idealism. Everybody else wins with reality. They win with like, hey, you either do that or you're going to lose all your shit. I mean, bro, I was just writing this fucking Instagram post a day or two ago. Haven't posted it yet. But the truth of the matter is, most people aren't afraid enough of losing. Most people haven't taken the time to consider what their life will look like if they don't change it. And if they could zoom into the future 10, 20, 30 years from now, and like, just live one day in the life of what their current habits are creating, they would change instantly. They would change yesterday. But because they can't feel it and because they can't notice it and because it's progressive and slow and imperceptible, people just ride it out, not realizing that it's going to cost them everything down the road. Okay. People should be terrified of losing you. If you are. If you don't have anything going for you right now, you should be terrified. It is not just going to work out. It is not. This magic fairy is not going to fly down and hand you an inheritance or get you your together. Like, you should be afraid and enough. And people aren't. They're told every day it's going to be okay. No, it's not. It's not going to be okay unless you make it okay. And that's what the world needs to understand. That's what people need to understand. And if the. If people were properly afraid of what their life was going to look like by continuing on the path they're on, then they would do something about it today. And that's my point of that question too, with the two. The two sons. If they knew what their life was going to look like at 25, at 30, at 35, at 40, at 45, because they're unwilling to change now versus what their life could look like, they would change. But you know who's going to tell them? Mom's not gonna tell them. She doesn't want to hurt their feelings. You know what? Sometimes people need their feelings hurt. That's the reality.

[Andy Frisella]

That's real. Man, guys, that's a little midweek pickup right there, man.

[DJ]

Yep.

[Andy Frisella]

I love it, man. Go get better.

[DJ]

Yeah. All right, guys. Don't be a hoe. Share the show went from sleeping on the flow now my jury pops froze up bowl stove counted millions in a.

[Andy Frisella]

Cold, bad booty swole Got her own.

[DJ]

Bank row can't fold just a no headshot case close.