923. Q&AF: Starting Business in Debt, Life Balance Hustle & Toxic Parent Struggles

Summary

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella – Episode 923

Q&AF: Starting Business in Debt, Life Balance Hustle & Toxic Parent Struggles
August 18, 2025 | Host: Andy Frisella

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Episode Overview

In this "Q&AF" episode, Andy Frisella, joined by his co-host DJ, takes live and written audience questions on starting a business while in debt, striking balance during the grind, and dealing with toxic relationships—especially within family. The resulting discussion is a fast-moving masterclass on business caution, life priorities, personal boundaries, and mental toughness—delivered in the signature “REAL AF” unapologetically direct style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting a Business in Debt

Caller: Travis (25, fitness industry, Northern Michigan)
Core Question: Is it wise to take on ~$300-400k in debt to acquire a gym business, especially at a young age?

Andy's Guidance:

• Being Debt-Averse is Good:
  "The fact that you're nervous about getting in debt is a good sign. It shows you'll be a careful steward of debt if you take it on." (08:21)
• Experience Reduces Risk:
  Starting with experience and knowledge of the business greatly lowers risk versus borrowing to chase a flashier, ungrounded vision.
• Normalizing Debt:
  "Debt is generally a part of the equation for most people starting or scaling a business... but using debt properly is what matters." (09:26)
• Don't Take More Than Needed:
  Emphasizes discipline – only borrow what you carefully need, not what you “could” have approved.
• Time is as Valuable as Money:
  "If you’re 25, and you have to build a brand from scratch, you’ll waste years versus acquiring something with momentum already." (17:43)

Notable Quotes:

• Andy:
  "If I’d gotten the big loan when I was young and inexperienced, I would have blown it. Not being able to get financing forced me to build something solid." (07:19)
• Andy:
  "If the business cash flows to cover its debt service, and you’ve already done your homework, then go for it. You really only get two or three big chances in life where you need to jump.” (12:00)

[06:00–15:41]

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2. Life Balance & the Early Hustle

Question (Written): Kaden – 18, wants to launch a landscaping company, currently working extreme hours, feels overwhelmed, and asks: “Is there a point where you ‘pull back’ or balance, even at the start?”

Andy's Approach:

• No Balance at the Start:
  "You already trying to take a break, but you haven’t built anything yet!” (21:17)
• Early Years Require Sacrifice:
  Andy shares: He went 6 years only coming home three times a year—no days off, no balance, all-in for the dream.
• Organization Over ‘Busy’:
  Most people claim busy—truth is, they have organization problems. Effectiveness beats busyness.
• Use the “Power List":
  The “Power List” system (episode 16, free) enables daily momentum and ensures progress.
• External Pressure & Priorities:
  Family/friends rarely understand at first; their opinions are distractions from long-term goals.
  "Most people can’t do it because of that pressure. This is your make-or-break time." (23:10)

Notable Quotes:

• Andy:
  "Busy is for losers. Effectiveness is for winners. If you’re really good, you should be effective without being that busy." (27:20)
• Andy:
  “98% of people have no clue what they’re doing. If you listen to them, you’ll get what they have.” (29:40)

[19:54–30:22]

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3. Toxic Parent Struggles & Breaking Free

Caller: Kiara (25, nursing student, recovering from depression, living with emotionally abusive parent)

Situation:

• After a mental health crisis, Kiara moves back in with her mother.
• The relationship involves emotionally volatile, often manipulative, and unsupportive behaviors.
• She feels “chained financially” and struggles to break the cycle.

Andy’s Core Advice:

• Work to Become Independent:
  "The first thing you should do is try to unchain yourself financially so you can choose to walk away if you decide you won't tolerate it." (33:56)
• Understand Their Hurt:
  Hurt people often lash out—realize the behavior usually comes from their pain, not your actions.
• Set Boundaries:
  1. Have a direct talk about what's not okay.
  2. If it continues, increase space.
  3. Still persists? More distance.
  4. If nothing changes, removal is justified—even with family.
• You Come First:
  "If people are pulling you away from what you want for your life, they don't deserve a spot on your roster—even if it's your parents." (56:40)
• Self-Approval:
  Read “The Four Agreements.” Build identity and value from your own actions, not external (even parental) approval.

Notable Quotes:

• Andy:
  "You're coming into this world alone, you're going out alone. If people related to you treat you poorly, they don't deserve a spot on your roster." (37:10)
• Andy:
  "Most people never reach the point of being surrounded by people who push them forward, because they quit too soon. Your real circle is ahead of you." (58:35)
• Kiara:
  "Me thinking about my future, securing it, I realized I’m not in high school anymore. If she’s acting up, I can study elsewhere. I have a car, I have my autonomy." (53:18)

On Mental Resilience (75 Hard):

The practice exists for exactly this—learning to stay committed when life throws emotional chaos at you.

[30:22–56:31]

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Notable Moments & Memorable Exchanges

• Andy’s Perspective on Borrowing:
  "A lot of young people take as much as they can, then waste it. The fact you don’t want debt is exactly why you’ll use it wisely.” (08:21)
• On Family & Boundaries:
  “Sometimes parents and family are the biggest haters… They’re not emotionally capable, but that’s not a YOU problem.” (42:59)
• Quick Humor:
  DJ and Andy playfully riff on “pizza pie-ing” unruly kids at Walmart—comic relief amid heavy conversation.
  "When I go to Walmart, I beat other people’s kids! Their parent looks at me crazy—I’m like, someone’s gotta do it!" (46:19–46:33)
• Life Seasons & Time Value:
  "As you get older, you value your time as much as money. Don’t waste 5 years when you could buy those years—with caution." (18:24–18:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Starting business in debt:
  • [06:00–15:41] Travis’ call and Andy’s approach on responsible borrowing
• Life balance during the grind:
  • [19:54–30:22] Written question from Kaden; why early years demand an unbalanced approach
• Toxic family & parental boundaries:
  • [30:22–56:31] Kiara’s call; strategies for survival, independence, and building internal self-worth

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Actionable Takeaways

• Borrow cautiously, with full understanding—only as absolutely needed.
• Prioritize effectiveness, not just long hours—use systems like the “Power List.”
• Your window to grind is now—capitalize while your obligations are minimal.
• Set boundaries—even with family. Protect your mental state, energy, and goals.
• Build your self-identity and value internally. No one’s opinion, not even a parent’s, should dictate your worth.
• Keep going—your future tribe of supporters is out there.

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Final Words from Andy

“The achievement of life goals is one of the hardest things you can do… If someone’s pulling energy away from that, they don’t belong on your roster—no matter who it is.” (56:40)

And, as always:

“Don’t be a hoe. Share the show.” (02:59)

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Transcript

[A]

Yeah, we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up bow up stove Counted millions in a cold bad booted swole Got her own bank roll can't fold Just a no head shot case close. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, always you.

[B]

Can email these questions into askandy danny.

[A]

Foursolid.Com or you do this part. Where else can they.

[B]

Or you can write your questions in the comments on the Q and A F episodes or.

[A]

Oh, okay. All right.

[B]

Or. Or you guys can hit the link in the description below and submit your questions in the form.

[A]

There you go. You get better with time. Yeah, this is the first time, bro. You know, like riding a bike.

[B]

You put me on the spot, you.

[A]

Know, it's like paying for groceries, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

No.

[A]

All right, guys, this is the show Q and A. Tomorrow we're going to have cti. That stands for cruise the Internet. We're going to put topics on the screen. It's a current event show. We're going to laugh, make fun of and talk. Talk about the problems these tyrants create in society. And then we're going to talk about how we the people can solve these problems. Other times throughout the week we are going to have a real talk. Real talk. Just five to 20 minutes, me giving you some things that are on my mind. Real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses and we got a good group of 75 hard versus people coming on. That's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to get their life together. All right, now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it's the initial phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 2.08 on the audio feed and it's free. There is a book. The book is called the book on Mental Toughness. It's on my website and andy forcella.com it is not free, but it does contain a whole bunch of more information than the podcast does in episode 208. But if you want to do it for free, go get it for free. Episode 208. Yeah, I think that's it. We do this little thing on the. On the show here. You know, we put a lot of time and energy into this show. We just asked very simply that if you're part of the team, if you're part of the crew, if you get value, if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, do us a favor and help us grow the show. All right? Don't be a hoe.

[B]

Share the show.

[A]

All right. What's up?

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

Man, how's it going? Hey, man. Yeah, hey, man, you drink your Mountain Dew today?

[B]

I'm dragging ass right now, bro.

[A]

I am, too. What is that?

[B]

Well, I had to be up. I was up at 6:30.

[A]

Did you get your air conditioning back on?

[B]

They fixed it today. Yeah. And so it's blowing. It's good.

[A]

Yeah, but it always feels good to get it blowing. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, bro, I looked at the heat index today, bro. It's 105. And it's gonna be like that for, like, the next seven days, dude.

[A]

It is. It's blazing steamy.

[B]

Yeah, it's very, very steamy.

[A]

There's nothing worse than having your AC go out, like, dude in August, dude in Missouri.

[B]

No, thank you. So I'm happy to report that it is a cool 72 degrees in the Johnson household.

[A]

There you go, man.

[B]

From 85.

[A]

And, yeah, now you only got, like, 10 more degrees to go until you're not normal human. Is that right?

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

I like to keep my cold, bro.

[B]

Bro. Well, I usually. I usually. We usually rock it at like, 70. 71.

[A]

Yeah, 69. That's right.

[B]

69 is not bad.

[A]

You know, I like about six.

[B]

That's at night time, though. Helps you sleep easier.

[A]

I like about 65, you know what I'm saying? All right.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

What's going on with you, dude?

[B]

Yeah, no, that's about it, bro. That's about it. You know, heading into a good weekend and making it do what it don't.

[A]

All right. Making it do what it don't and.

[B]

Don'T do what it does.

[A]

And don't do what it does.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And you ain't got to explain what's understood.

[B]

What's understood ain't got to be explained.

[A]

That's right. That's right. All right.

[B]

Let's make some people better Today, man. Guys, I got some good questions here. We got some people lined up. Let's make some people better today.

[A]

What are we doing? We starting with a write in or a call in? What?

[B]

We got Colin? I have Colin.

[A]

Ready? All right, let's go.

[B]

Yeah, we got our buddy Travis locked and loaded. Let's give Travis a call.

[C]

Hello?

[A]

Hello?

[B]

Must speak to Travis, please.

[C]

This is Travis.

[B]

Hey, Travis, I was calling about your car insurance and wanted to see if you wanted to say 15% by switching over to Real AF. What's going on, Travis?

[C]

Hey, man, how's it going?

[A]

What's up? Travis, I apologize. I can't fix. I tried to fix them and I can't. Yeah, I can't fix them, man. It just is what it is.

[C]

I'm actually drinking a great first form, so I actually was falling for it a little bit.

[B]

I think that made me way, way too happy. Like, way way more happier than it was supposed to. Yeah, that was good.

[A]

I think that was good. Yeah. So, Travis, where you calling from, man?

[C]

Yeah, so I'm physically, right now, I'm in southern Wisconsin, but I. I live in the northern peninsula of Michigan.

[A]

Okay. The. The unclaimed territory.

[C]

God's country.

[A]

Yeah. Ah. So what can we help you with, brother? What you got going on?

[C]

Yeah, man. Well, first of all, I'm just a huge fan. I mean, I'm. I'm 25, but I've been listening to your show since I was 19, heard every episode of MF CEO, Real AF, all that, read the books 75 hard four or five times now. So this is awesome. My question spans from I'm. I'm in the fitness space. I've been a personal trainer of a gym for a long time, was a manager, regional manager. I sell first form products. And basically I'm getting to the point now where I want to, you know, eventually own my business, a gym. And, you know, I just have a hard time with the whole, like, going into big debt. I know. Like, I listened to you and like, you know, you couldn't really get the funding for certain things, so you were using credit cards and you kind of started out small and stuff with where I'm at, you know, I could potentially be looking at, you know, three, $400,000 in debt at 25. And I'm just trying to think of a good way to look at that.

[A]

Well, look, man, I think it's good. So here's what I'm going to say. You're going to have all these people that are going to tell you oh, don't worry about it. It's no big deal. It's part of doing business. You can borrow this, you can borrow that, you can build your business. I didn't, like you said, I did not have the opportunity to do that. And I at the time was very frustrated that I wasn't able to get a loan. I wasn't able to get any help. I wasn't able to have anybody finance me. But here's the thing, dude. If I had gotten financed with the amount of experience that I had, I can admit now, that I would have wasted that money away. All right? I would have thought, like most entrepreneurs do when they're first getting started, man, I'm going to create this. I'm going to go buy a Super bowl ad, and it'll make my company. And I would have figured I would have went for the home run swing as opposed to actually building a solid foundation, which is what not having the financing forced me to do. So I actually got pretty fortunate that I wasn't able to borrow money when I was just starting out, because, dude, if I had, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. And I could just tell you that's a hundred percent accurate. Now, that's my experience. Okay? Now you're in a little bit different space. You have all this time, you have all this experience, you have, you know what you're doing. And that is a different story when it comes to borrowing money to get into your own thing. All right, You. Yeah, yeah. You have to understand that, like, dude, debt is generally a part of the equation, especially when you're in a scaling business or you're just starting out for most people. So it's very, very normal for you to have to do this, but the fact that you're aware of it and the fact that you're afraid of it is a good sign, okay? Because it's the people who aren't afraid of borrowing money. It's the people who want to borrow the most. Those are the people who end up burying themselves. The people who use debt properly to build and scale their business and are very cautious are the people who don't like having debt. And that's a really good thing when you get experience using it. And as your business grows, it's going to become something that you will have to have, most likely, hopefully, because your business will grow so fast that you'll need the cash to do it. So for you, dude, the fact that you are aware and you're. You're dead averse, you're like I don't know. I don't like this. I actually think that's a really good sign. I, I think that's how you should think about it. And I think that's going to force you to be very cautious about how you use that debt to grow and scale your business out, man. I, I think it's a very normal thing and I think where you, you know, where you have hesitation, other people are just hungry to get it and that's what ends up screwing them, bro. They spend it on some big marketing campaign or, you know, they say like, well, you know, I'm going to increase my lifestyle and people will see it and then they'll want to. Dude, it's all. They tell all these justifications that really, you know, don't work in business. So, you know, that's how I think about it for you, bro. The fact that the way you ask the question about not really wanting to do it tells me that you're going to be responsible with any debt that you receive. Is there a way to do this without debt?

[C]

For me right now, no.

[A]

How. What kind of debt is this?

[C]

It's just to like, purchase, you know, a business. Yeah, but. And it's a business, you know, I'm involved with, I'm familiar with. Right. So. Yeah, so. And you know, another thing, you know, question was, I know some people started business and stuff from scratch, but this is an existing business. So. Yeah, I don't know if you. Any advice with that for you.

[A]

Here's what you know, you know, the business. Does the business cash flow to cover the note, the debt service.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Okay, it does. Well, then, bro, you don't have anything to be afraid of. You already know the business. You're doing what needs to be done. You're a young man. You have an opportunity in front of you. I would highly encourage you to go for it if this is something that you believe in. Because, you know, only get so many chances in our life, dude. And, and you know, I know you're 25 and you know, you probably think you're going to get a gazillion chances, but dude, I'm. I'm just telling you from a, from an older brother perspective, we get two or three chances where you got to jump and go. And one of them, I'll tell you one, one for me is very similar to the one that you're talking about. You know, I was, I had two stores, two retail stores in Springfield, Missouri. I got a call one day from a guy that I knew that had five Other stores. He called me on a Monday, and he said, hey, man, I'm closing my stores. And I said, he. He said, do you want to buy my inventory? And I said. And I. I stopped for a second. I thought. And I said, why are you closing the stores? And he's like, well, I'm getting out of it. I want to go into this new thing. And I said, well, why don't you just let me take the stores? I'll buy them from you, and I'll operate them. Little did I know the stores were losing money left and right. He lied to me about, like, what they did, or. I wouldn't say lie, but just exaggerated.

[B]

It's the honeymoon phase. He's gonna prop it up a little bit.

[A]

Correct. He sold it. He sold it, and, you know, we ended up in a situation where we had to work really hard to make the business work. But he called me on a Monday, and by Thursday, I had moved back to St. Louis to run, and I was living in Springfield at the time. And I said it. I'm going. We're going. And. And that one move, that jump led to us scaling out our retail company, where, you know, we're still growing, opening stores, doing very well, but also it led to the birth of a bunch of other things, considering, you know, the one that most people know me by, which is first form. So that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't jumped. And this feels like one of those opportunities for you at 25, and I think you should feel real strong about it. Dude, there's. There's. There's nothing that you. Let me ask you this. What would make you more certain? What information would make you feel better about it? You know, all the relevant information. Correct?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I. Honestly, I do feel pretty certain, and I'm. You know, I'm. This is something I've had a plan for for quite a few years. I'm very close with the owner, right? Like, very, very, very close. And this has always kind of been the plan. That's why I've stuck with this company for so long. But now that it's, you know, getting close to time for this to happen, I'm just like, you know, I just want another opinion on it. You know what I mean? Like, I've talked to a few people.

[A]

But, yeah, bro, if we. If. Look, go do it. You'll kick ass. You'll be fine. You'll. This is normal. I understand. You know, you get a little nervous, and you maybe want some positive reinforcement. Bro, you. You very Rarely do I say, hey, go do it. You sound like you've got it figured out, dude. And I would just. I would encourage you to go and go confidently.

[C]

All right, I appreciate that.

[A]

Yeah, brother. Anything else?

[C]

No. I mean, not really.

[A]

Here's one thing I will point. Here's one thing I'll point out to you that is a positive about what I think just as someone who's heavily in the fitness industry as well, you're. You're moving into a very good space for what's happening in the world right now with the automation, the AI and all the automation, all the tech. There's. People are going to have more free time and they're always going to be around people. They're always going to want to train, they're always going to want to consume, they're always going to want to be fit. At least a certain part of the population is. And I. I think you're moving into something that. That has a lot of good upside, considering the timing right now. So that there's that too. Yeah.

[C]

I feel like for the. I think this year, for the first time in a few years since COVID we're kind of bouncing back.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

You know, Covid was tough for gyms. You know, we were the first ones shut down. Last one's open deemed assess pools.

[A]

It was awful bullshit.

[C]

But I feel like now people are. Yeah, people are like, oh, that's all bullshit. Like, actually I'm. I don't have to be scared of anything, really, if I'm healthy. Right. That's all there is to it. So.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

We're seeing an increase right now and the trends are good. Um, so, yeah, I feel super confident with what I do.

[A]

Cool. Well, go do it, bro. And hit us back up if you need any more help as you go.

[C]

I appreciate it.

[A]

All right, brother. Thank you. Thanks for all the support.

[C]

Heck yeah, man. Thanks.

[B]

See you, Travis.

[A]

See ya.

[B]

Yeah, man. Something you said there that I think is really, really important is not taking more than you actually need.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I feel like, like, that piece right there for some reason just stuck with me because, like, yeah, you can get, you know. Oh, they tell you, I'll prove you up to, you know, half a million dol. You only need 200.

[A]

Listen, that goes in your personal life too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You and I have had those discussions a lot.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What happened to you this week?

[B]

Oh, I had to cash out, baby.

[A]

What happened? Hold on, hold on. Let's just. This is a real life example. It's real. Okay. Do you mind if I. No. Okay, so DJ wanted to go buy a very, very nice house because DJs doing very well for himself and he's earned it. All right, but what did I say to you about the house? Why did I not want you to do it?

[B]

Because there's going to be a lot of costs that come up that you're not going to be aware of or tracking that, you know, and it's not going to be one furnace. It'll be fucking three.

[A]

That's right. And what happened to you this week?

[B]

My furnace went out.

[A]

And how much was it?

[B]

56 a week.

[A]

Okay. And imagine that times three or four. You see what I'm saying? So we have to think things through. And just because the math. Maths on the short term, there's a lot of things that happen in a long term that we don't account for. And so a lot of people, especially when they're young. Young. And I really like what he had to say. I mean, he. He sounded like he had his together.

[B]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

A lot of young people will take as. They'll take an extra 100 or 200, or they'll try to get as much as they can and then they'll say to themselves, well, you know, I only need 300, so I'm gonna spend the extra 100 on me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, I deserve it. Right? Just stupid, stupid kid. And it ends up us. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But the fact of the matter is, is, like, when it comes to debt, I'm very. I feel very good about how I've handled debt over the course of business. In my life, we are essentially debt free. The.

[B]

That's not very common.

[A]

No, that's also why it took so long. That was the point I was going to make. So, like, you know, if he went out and started something from scratch, bro, he's five, six years away from even getting the brand put together. You know what I'm saying? Like, to where people resonate. So by getting this, you got to look at it as time, too. You know, as you get older, you start to value the time as much as you do the money or the opportunity. And there's a time value to this. If he's 25 and he's got to spend four or five years establishing a brand, that means by the, by the time he's 30, he'll be where he is basically right now, but, like, have less time to do it. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, it's. It's It's a, you have to, you know, consider all the variables and as you get, you know, as you get older, time becomes one of them. And you don't want to spend five years doing something that could be done immediately if it's going to cost you a couple, you know, a couple bucks to get it going. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[B]

100, man. I think too. And this is something else you told me too. Just, just on finances and, and, and, and looking at it. There's also something to be said too, about just being a little uncomfortable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because that's what's going to keep you going.

[A]

Right. It keeps you urgent, like keep, you.

[B]

Know, you treadmill, you know, it's all right.

[A]

Comfort is something everybody should try to avoid. If you're in business, you should never try to get comfortable. You should try to be uncomfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that is the urgency that drives you. You know what I'm saying? When you start making good money and everything's going good, it's real easy to stay in bed, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's real easy to not to say, oh, everything's cool. It no blah, blah. But then before you know it, it ain't cool. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So. And sometimes when it, when it gets not cool, it takes years to recover that back. So. Yeah, I agree with that. I think it's important to stay a little bit uncomfortable.

[B]

Yeah. That doesn't mean go out and finance a Lambo, guys. All right. Just be.

[A]

Gotta be very clear about this for sure.

[B]

So let's get another one in, man. Let's get it. Hey, Andy and dj. My name is Kaden Butts. Yes. That's my real last name. It literally is B U T T S. Okay.

[A]

I've seen worse.

[B]

Gotta be Buckus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I'm 18 and looking to start up a landscaping company within the next year. And I'm doing everything I can can think of to be productive. I'm not trying to be a Billy Badass or anything, but I have a construction job I've been working for, so I can grind, save, and reinvest little by little, while also simultaneously learning the tricks of the trade. I need to be the best I can be. I work 16 hours a day most days, with maybe two to three off days a month, during which time I tend to find myself so far behind on personal tasks such as cleaning my house and several half finished yard projects. My friends and family don't see me anymore, which understandably frustrates them to a degree it also has gotten to a point where I can confidently say I don't even know what day of the week it is half the time. I know balance isn't an option in the beginning years, which isn't a problem for me, but I just want to know, with your experience and just pure obsession over this business, is there a point that you, you know, you need to step back and maybe take it down a notch? P S The screaming freedom energy has kept me sane this summer. Looking forward to seeing into more stores up here in Wisconsin soon. What we got on this, man?

[A]

Bro, you already try and take a break. You ain't built nothing yet. You're already. You're already talking about balance when you ain't done yet. Bro, you ain't even started your business yet. Okay? This is the way it goes. I went six years living in a different town, only coming home for literal. The day of Christmas, the day of Easter, the day of Thanksgiving, and that's it. I would drive three hours home for the day, and then that night I would drive back. I did that for six years. I didn't have a day off the entire time. Now, with that being said, it sounds like you might have a little bit of an organization problem. Okay? So you need to work on, you know, being organized with your time, making sure that your time is well spent, making sure that, you know, you're not saying, oh, I work 16 hours, so the other shit just, you know, doesn't matter. Are you really working 16 hours every day? Every day? Are you really doing that? Or are we just saying that we're doing that? Okay, here's the thing. When you're young and when you're getting started, this is the level of commitment that it takes. And all the things that we talk about over and over and over again on the show where your family and your friends and the people who know you say all these little comments like, oh, you're changing, you know, oh, you know, you think you're too good for us. Oh, you're working too hard. Oh, you need to take a break. You're going through that right now. You are dealing with the make or break time in your life right now. Because I'm going to tell you something, bro, and not many people will tell you this as you get older, you will have more obligations. You will probably have a girlfriend or a wife and then maybe some kids and then maybe some bills and then a mortgage and all of these things that will jail you up from ever being able to do what it is you're trying to do right now. So you need to remember one, you have an opportunity right now as an 18 year old man to make yourself into something special and get way ahead of everybody else that you know. Two, you have the least amount of obligations that you'll ever have in your life right now. You need to utilize that. And if that means that the house is a little up, then that's what the it means. Okay? We have these things called priorities. And your priority right now is to make sure that for the next 80 years you are doing well. And you might only have one or two times in your life where you could set that foundation properly. And this is one of them. So you are going to have to get more organized with your time. You're going to have to understand that your parents and your friends and your family and everybody else are not going to understand. You could try to explain it to them and you should, but they're not going to understand unless they have gone that path. Then you're going to have to spend time with them when you can. And that's reality. And I don't know how to say it any other way, but this is what it takes, bro. You're going through the beginning phases of what it takes and you're learning why most people can't do it because they face all this external pressure. They have their friends, they have their family, they have their girlfriend or boyfriend telling them that they should do it this way or that way. And this way or that way is what the best thing is for them at the time, not the best thing than it is for you over the course of time. So we have to realize, bro, this is your opportunity and you need to make the most of it. And if you want to build a landscaping company and you want to make it a real thing 15 years down the road where it is legitimately one of the best landscape companies around, you're going to have to pay your dues right now. And that's it. That's the reality. And you know, there's no way around it, man. I don't know what else to tell you.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, to me it sounds like the powerless would be perfect here. And I think one of the best things that I've been able to experience from the powerless, bro, is that no matter how crazy of the day or you knock off those things, those become like those small wins, as small as they may seem.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are fucking everything, bro. Maybe it's just making your bed in the morning, bro.

[A]

They compound, dude, you know, and they compound they build your confidence. They. They set a foundation for you to believe in yourself. And by the way, if you use it right, if you use the powerless the right way, which you can get for free at episode 16 on Real AF Feed, if you use the powerless the right way, you cannot fail. It's the only system I know that literally removes failure from the equation. It is the only system that does that. If you use it properly, you cannot fail. And that's the reality of it. So, yeah, I would highly recommend using that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think another thing, too, you said, too. It's like. Because I feel like there has to be some. Some. Some really honest reflection on what the actual inputs are here. Right? Because, like, I've heard that. I've had friends. Oh, man, I'm so busy. You know what I'm saying? Like, they. People say that. That B word a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you, though?

[A]

No.

[B]

Are you doing.

[A]

They never are. Busy is a. A word that people.

[B]

I'm not saying this guy's not.

[A]

So.

[B]

I'm not saying he's not.

[A]

Busy is a word that people default to when they want to explain what they've been doing, when they don't have an explanation for what they've been doing. All right. What do you. What. Why are you late? Oh, I was busy. Why did you. Why didn't this get done? Oh, I was busy. Why isn't your. Why does your life look like, oh, I'm so busy. How the can you be so busy when your life looks like you know what I'm saying? So, like, it is something people say as a defense when they can't actually explain what they've been doing. Busy is for losers. Effectiveness is for winners, and that's it. And if you're really good, you should be able to be effective without being that busy. And that's what the powerless does. It gives you your life, and it gives you the results that you want. And that's the point of it. The point of it is you. Y' all waste so much time talking about how busy you are. Nothing gets done. And the reality is, is if you could get done in an effective way, day after day after day after day after day, you'd have a lot of free time to do whatever you want. I mean, the biggest thing that people say when they do 75 hard, dude is I can't believe how much time I was wasting before they're unaware of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So getting organized with your time and utilizing a system like the powerless, that helps you guarantee that you're Moving forward is a must. And if you're not using it like real talk, okay, I've built my entire life on that system. If you listen to the show and you don't use that, there's something wrong with your brain. You shouldn't even listen to the show. Why would you listen to what I have to say and, and, and all the advice I have and all the things about winning and all this, and then not use the system that I tell you will guarantee you to win when it's free. You know what I mean? So. Yeah, man. What?

[B]

No, no, I love it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's it.

[B]

It's simple, man.

[A]

It's real simple. These guys, you know, I find it interesting that this dude's like, you know, you haven't even started your company, bro, and you're talking about backing off, bro. You got to put some earplugs in and you can't listen to people that you don't want to be like. They're going to tell you all the shit that they want to do, not what you want for yourself. And you're going to have to do that for the next 20 years. And then after 20 years pass and you've got the, you know, the biggest, most profitable, coolest, prestigious landscape company, and you're, you're making amazing money and you have a great house and all this. Everybody's going to tell you. Oh, man, you know, I'm so glad that, you know, you did what you did and I'm proud of you and I believed in you the whole time. And these are the same that are telling you to take a play off or take a break or, you know, go drink with them or go party with them or whatever it is you guys do. They, you know, they. These, bro, listen, most people don't know what the they're doing in their life. They have no idea. They can't see further than 5ft in front of them. The longest most people see is to Friday night. And if you listen to those people, you're going to be the same as them. You're going to. You're going to be the motherfucker who spends his whole life going to the same restaurant, the same bar, drinking with the same people, doing the same shit with the same amount of fucking money in your bank account. And it's going to be you that pays the regret for that. So you cannot listen to these people. Because the truth is, 98% of people have no clue what they're doing with their life. That's it.

[B]

It's real, man. That's real. I love it, man. Let's get our final one in. Let's get another one in here. Let's give Kiara a call. Hello, Kiara. What's up?

[D]

Yo, what's up?

[A]

What's going on?

[D]

Dude, I'm just like, studying for like, a pre nursing exam. So, like, I'm just locked in on that right now.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. I got Andy here.

[A]

What's up, Kiara? How are you?

[D]

Dude, you don't even. You don't even know how, like, surreal this is, you know, and. And, you know, obviously, you know, I don't know if this shit's gonna be aired or not, but I'm gonna say something like, so. For real. So, like, last year I was at the lowest point of my life being basically like, you know, life, all this, but I was like, you know, I feel like the next approach, like, the. The only approach that I need to do, like the, the most like, insane shit I could have done is like 75 hard. That was like, for me was like, locking down and doing that. And that, like, that literally saved me because I was on like, antidepressants and I was like, really down and really numb and like, very confused. Like, super what I felt like sedated. Like, it really opened up, like, my life and what I could do. So, like, I'm super blessed, man.

[A]

Hey, you did that, man. I didn't do that shit. You did that. That's fucking awesome. That's a huge fucking win, dude. And I appreciate you sharing it. But remember, that's you. That's all you. It's awesome, man. So what's up?

[D]

Okay, so, like, I mean, there's like a little bit, like, more to that. So when I was at, like, the lowest, like, I've ever been in my life, like, being hospitalized, getting out, being like on. On meds, like, just. Just super. Just super, really rock bottom. Like, I really hit rock bottom. And I feel like that was the best thing for me, but I had to move back in with. I guess I don't want to talk about this particular parent, but I had to move back in with, like a kind of emotionally abusive parent. And it's. It's been hard because I wanna. I wanna get better. But for some reason when I, like, deviate from, like, kind of taking care of this person, they shit on me when I'm not doing exactly what I want, you know, what they want me to do. And. And it's been really hard because I really. I really love. I really, really love this person, and they're very supportive when they're supportive. But. But I think they might have, like, mental issues and where they're, like, really, really up and, like, really love me and then really, really down when they're mad or upset about their own life, and they take it out on me. And it's been hard because I've been, like, weaning off my meds and trying to, like, regulate, but this person is constantly, like, shitting on me when, like, things are good, but then it comes back really fast, and then they shit on me right then and there. Like, it's always like a hot, cold, hot, cold. And it's been really hard mentally. So I just want to know, like, what. What would you say I can do about that if I'm kind of chained to them financially?

[A]

Well, you know, the first thing that you should do is try to unchain yourself financially so that if you decide that you don't want to tolerate that, you don't have to and you can move away from it. With that being said, you know, there's a saying, right? Hurt people, hurt people. And as frustrating as it is to deal with someone like that, it's probably coming from a place of hurt and fear and maybe abandonment. You know, a lot of parents have problems whenever their kids grow up because they have made their entire life raising kids their identity. And so when kids start to grow up and become adults, it can be very hard for people. And sometimes when they're afraid of losing, you know, they overcompensate with, you know, anger and things that aren't healthy and don't feel good. And that's not your problem. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not you. It's. It's. It's. It's how someone has a lack of control over their own behavior. And, you know, fuck, man. I'm sitting here thinking about this, and I have so many people that I've been close to over the years who have, you know, not my parents, but who have mirrored a lot of what you're describing. And so I really empathize with it because, like, dude, it. When you really care about someone and then someone doesn't approve of you, it hurts, dude. And it causes massive amounts of anxiety. And if you're like me, I like to solve problems. So the minute that someone gets frustrated, I feel like I have to solve it. And then when I can't solve it, it causes, like, massive amounts of anxiety for me. And what's happened to me in my life is that People have learned that about me and then used it against me. And one of the things that I have found to be effective in dealing with people like that is to not. It's a pause. It's like a pause, okay, when they get pissed or they get frustrated or they get angry or they become disapproval or they say something, I just don't engage immediately. And then I'll let some time pass, and then I'll engage later to correct the problem in some sort of adult way. Like, hey, man, you having a bad day or what? Like, it's all good, but, you know, I could tell you're frustrated. What I know it doesn't have anything to do with me because I didn't do anything.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

So what, you know, what can we do there at the end of the day? And I hate saying this because I know that it's really hard for people, but if none of that works, sometimes you gotta distance yourself from people and move them out of your life and at least for a time where they don't feel as comfortable treating you that way. Because sometimes when you take a pause from people's lives, it creates an unfamiliarity where they don't feel as comfortable laying all of that kind of shit onto you. You know what I mean? Some distance in between. So, fuck, this is a hard thing, man. And it's so. It's so different in every situation. But at the end of the day, here's the thing. You're coming into this world alone. You're going to go out of this world alone. And if people that are related to you treat you poorly, they don't deserve a spot on your roster. And that is just the bottom line. There's been a lot of people in my life who have probably unknowingly created feelings inside of me where I felt like they were holding me back or discouraging me or giving me negative energy or judging me in a negative way for the things that I wanted to do in my life that I've had to remove from my life because, like, I just don't want to fudgeing hear it. And I'm to the point now, at my age, we're really like, the first time someone says some to me, I'm out. Like, we're not gonna have a friendship. You're not getting in the circle. Like, it's not gonna happen. But when you're first starting to establish that, it can be really difficult because we care about people. And especially when it's like our parents or, you know, a brother, sister, or cousin or family members that you grew up with. It could be hard, but at the end of the day, man, the truth of the situation always remains the same. And it's this. You only have so much energy in your day to do the things that you think are best for you and to do the things that are best for you as an individual and be good at them, it requires most of your energy. A lot. When I say most, I mean like upper 90s percent, 97, 98, 99% to live a good life, you know. And when I say a good life, I mean, you know, to have enough money to do what you want to do. I'm not saying, you know, you have to be a billionaire or worth a hundred million dollars, but you know, to be comfortable, you have to be able to pay that price of energy. And when you have people that are pulling that energy out of you with really useless, that doesn't mean anything because they're not able to control their ups and downs. Sometimes those people got to be limited or even removed out of your life. And there's nuance to it. There's, there's, you know, everything is a different situation. Everybody has a different story. But at the end of the day, I like to bottom line things. And the bottom line is this. If you spend energy there, that's energy you're not going to have to build a life that you want and that'll end up making you suffer long term. And so that's how you have to think about it. So all in all, you know there's steps to solving this, right? One, have a direct conversation with the person. Hey, I can't have you doing this. I can't manage your emotional ups and downs. It's not something I can do. Two, if they continue to do it, you create space. Three, if they continue to do it more, you create more space. And four, if they still don't get it, you cut them out forever if you have to. And the first step for you to be able to do that is get yourself in a place financially where you're not dependent on someone else. And that's another thing, dude. When, when people are, when people know that you're dependent on them, they will weaponize that. You know, they will say, well, yeah, they will say, well, what, what, what? She can't do anything about it.

[B]

Where are you going to go?

[A]

Yeah, what are you going to do?

[D]

And yeah, that's, that's what would happen when she would, oh, I said she. But you could probably figure out the mother, but she Would threaten to kick me out. Yeah, every time.

[A]

Yeah. And, dude, the minute you stop and say, cool, I'm out, she'll stop with that because she don't want to lose you either, dude. She's just. Here's what I've learned, man. Most people are insecure. Even your family, even you, even me, even all of us. We all have insecurities. We all have situations, you know, and emotions and things that don't make all the sense all the time. And when we act out, it's usually because we're scared or because we're, you know, angry. And it usually has nothing to do with the other person. It's frustration that gets vented into the other person. And when the person finally says, yeah, well, cool. Usually that's when people change their behavior. So, you know, listen, I know this is a hard thing, but at the end of the day, you got to choose yourself because your mom isn't going to take care of you for your whole life. She's not going to be able to. You're going to have to take care of you, and you're going to have to eventually take care of her. And, you know, these are things that. That are reality. So, you know, man, I feel bad that you're going through it, but it's not something that is uncommon. You know, I think most people go through some kind of like this in one way or another, especially when they have ambition, especially when they want to break the generational cycle of the same old, you know, because, dude, people will feel all kinds of ways. They'll think they're going to lose you. They'll feel ashamed because they create an environment that you want to escape from. There's just all kinds of man and.

[B]

All the you're doing that they didn't do.

[A]

That's right. And sometimes parents and family are the biggest haters. Dude, I hate to say that, but it is. It is the truth. I've seen this so many times in my career doing, you know, personal development where parents. I'm very lucky because my parents are proud of me. But not all parents are like that. And. And it's sad. It makes me sad. But you got to pull your together. You got to get strong, and you got to realize that this isn't that they don't love you. It's that they're emotionally incapable of managing their own. And it's not a you problem. No, it's not. And. And when they respect you, when you go out on your own, you start doing some things, they'll Start treating you differently. So. Yeah, that's fucking hard, man.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's. It's especially hard because, look, and. And I. I 100 acknowledge it. I mean, as a. As a Dominican, it's. It's kind of like the stereotype that, like, you know, our parents like, beat us. Like, whenever we ask a question, they're always quick to temper. Like, it's. And it's funny that I say like, you know, our parents beat us, but like, it's. It's so. It's so common like that to the point where they make literal skits about it. But like, I, like, I don't think the thing is, I'm not that type of person that doesn't take it to heart. It almost seems like everything that she says about me is so pointed. It's so hard not to. Not to affected by it. I've had a. You know, I hate to throw myself under the bus, but I've had to restart 75 hard a bunch of times last year because, you know, burn the house down. They give anything to me or so have I. Crazy.

[A]

I've had to too. That's normal. You're gonna have things that are coming your life and disrupt you. The biggest thing you can do is get back into it the next day, you know. And by the way, I got my ass beat growing up. I turned all right out. All right. You know what I'm saying? We come from a family.

[D]

Yeah. Not gonna lie.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Sometimes it's deserved.

[A]

Yeah. Well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every time I got my ass beat by my parents, bro. I'm gon you right now. I deserved it. Yeah, but.

[B]

But like, you guys just use chocolates, right?

[A]

Is that the.

[B]

The joke you were getting to?

[D]

Yeah, pretty much like sandals or anything heavy enough to reach you.

[A]

That's. That's correct, bro. Yeah, that's correct, dude.

[B]

I get it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, look, I. I actually think people should beat more of their kids so we'd have a better society. But, you know.

[D]

Absolutely, Absolutely. I see that. You know, I still. I'm still kind of. I'm not in that. I mean, I don't know. Do y' all know what Publix is like, the store?

[B]

Is that like the paint store?

[A]

No, it's a grocery store. Public grocery store.

[D]

Yeah. But anyways. Yes.

[A]

Don't listen to. Don't listen to him. His brain. His brain is cooked.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I like, I like. I just one thing I gotta tell you, dj, before, you know, before I leave, I kind of want to roast you on something. But so, like, I'm not at that upper echelon of, like, basically, like, shopping at Whole Foods. So I still shop at Walmart, and I'd be, I still be seeing, like, kids get their ass beat. And I'm like, bravo. I see the way they're acting. I'm like, there's no way I would not, like, throw.

[A]

You know what I did? Respectfully, you know what I do when I go to Walmart? I beat other people's kids. I just grab them, spank their ass. Their parent looks at me all crazy, and I'm like, somebody's got to do it.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The amount of times I wanted to, like, I don't know if you'll get it, like, pizza pie these kids, you know, throw them in the air, spin them around, and, you know, throw them. To infinity and beyond is too many times.

[A]

Pizza pie them. That's right. What DJ got hungry? The pizza pie. What would my move be? The pizza cutter.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

We'd be the tag team. Mario, Luigi.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. Well, hey, listen, the thing is, is, like, dude, you got to root your identity and approval in yourself. That's something you got to work on your pet, your, your parents shouldn't have at. How old are you?

[D]

I'm 25, so, yeah, my tender old age of 25. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[D]

But I, I, it's the only parent I got, so I, I love her.

[A]

I understand. But you also got to think healthy of yourself and good of yourself and, you know, realize that, you know, when people say things that are not nice to you, rarely does it have anything to do with you. It's the truth. Have you read the Four Agreements?

[D]

No, I have not.

[A]

Go read that book. Go buy that book today and read that book. It's a good book. One of the Four Agreements is you don't take things personal, and it does a good job of explaining why. And I think it'll help you sort of separate your identity from needing the approval of, you know, anybody else. So there's a lot here. Okay? But here's the deal. You got to continue to work on yourself. Continue to, to develop confidence and belief in yourself. You've got to have hard conversations with your parent. You have to behave appropriately to protect your energy. And if that means creating space, that's what it means. But you're an adult, and your identity and your value and your worth should be based in what you think, not what someone else thinks or says. And because when we give that responsibility to other people, even if we care about them and love them, they can hurt us very hard and very bad. And. And it doesn't even have to be true. So, you know, you got to be able to. You have to be able to look at other people, have such a strong identity in yourself that you can look at other people when they say things to you and be like, that ain't true. Right? Like, that's the goal. The goal is. And if it is true, you know, you say, okay, well, that's fair. You know, found a hole in my boat. Yeah, that's fair, and I need to fix that. But. But you should get to a very balanced point about what the truth is, and it shouldn't make you angry. Like, I get a lot of people that say a lot of things about me, right? But when they say things that are completely untrue, I laugh. I'm like, all right, well, whatever, man. You know, it's not going to. I don't let it affect me at all. I don't let it affect what I think of myself, how I see myself. I don't dwell on it. I just look at it and I say, yeah, that's not true. Because I'm very in tune with who I am, what I believe. I know how I live my life. I know what my heart's like, and no one can shake that. And that comes from establishing identity in your own actions and results, not on what other people think. And, you know, this is going to be a process for you. It really is. It's. These are tough things. So somebody that didn't give a fuck would say, oh, just cut him out. But at the end of the day, it's. I don't think it's that serious. I think it's just, you know, you're. You're becoming. You are an adult, but in her mind, you're becoming an adult and she's behaving poorly about that transition. That's my take on it. What do you think, bro?

[B]

Yeah, no, 100%. It's one of those things. It's unfortunate. It's going to suck. There's no. It's not gonna be all friendly and night, like. But it's necessary.

[A]

I mean, you've had situations like this.

[B]

I've been in that same. I'm just now getting out of that. And, like, I mean, that's been my entire Life up until 30. So, I mean, it's one of those things, man. It's necessary. But.

[A]

But when I first met you, you were having A lot of issues.

[B]

A lot of those.

[A]

Yeah. Same issues. She's talking about a lot of those.

[B]

And it sucks, too, because, I mean, like, just like, in your situation, care, like, you want better, you want to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really awesome things. You know, you talk. You're going through nursing school. Like, that's.

[A]

That's a great deal. Yeah.

[B]

And that's a hard time to go through on its own in a perfect home.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you can't allow any other unnecessary stress in there. You don't have the time for it.

[A]

Yeah. And, like, when you say, oh, I had to quit 75 hard because of this or that or this, that tells me that there's a boundary that is being violated. Or there's a boundary that's not set, because replace 75 hard with your nursing program. And now she causing a fit that causes you to miss key elements of nursing school and eventually fail nursing school. Right now you're fucking up your shit for real.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So there has to be a boundary as an adult set. And that starts with a very simple conversation that happens when that person is in a good mood, not when they're in a bad mood. Right. When you need to have a conversation about someone's behavior, it's usually better to have it when it's not in the heat of the moment, but it's more so, like, you know, everything's cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. Yep. I hope that helps, man. That's. That's. That's hard. But I think everybody goes through this in one way or another, especially when they're trying to do things that are outside the realm of what our parents have done. So I'm sorry you're going through it, but, dude, this is. It's part of the price.

[D]

Yeah. Honestly, it's. I've. I've come to realize, you know, all the times that I've. And it's poor, the very poor excuses. Whenever I use any arguments, which is. Which is terrible. I hate saying this out loud, but saying that I got into an argument with my mom or a fight, and then I just chose to off the whole day. Like, me doing this. Like, me thinking about my future, me taking. Securing. Trying to secure my future. I realized that those are very. I'm not in high school anymore. I can't just be like, oh, my mom. I'm just not gonna do homework. Like, that's right for that. Like, I'm way too old for that. So I. I definitely know how to delegate my time if she's acting up like, oh, wow, I'm an adult, I have a car, I get out, I study elsewhere and let her be a human in my home.

[A]

You know, you, you just got to realize and, and not let that affect you in the moment. You know, being able to deal with things not going our way. That's part of what the 75 hard program is about. It's about being able to deal with the things that come up throughout our day and not get distracted and be able to build enough discipline, grit, fortitude, mental focus, mental toughness to push through the events of the day to, to get done what we are needing to do for our long term and short term future. And, you know, being able to recognize that where you say, well, you know, I shouldn't be off the whole day when someone gets mad at you, yeah, dude, you got to fix that. Because real talk, there's going to be something every day. If it ain't your mom, it's going to be something else. And you have to learn how to deal with that without letting it totally derail you. And I'll be real, like, I struggle with the same thing that you're talking about. Like, there is times still to this day in my life where I get so angry and so pissed off that I will off my whole day. That doesn't happen every day. It doesn't happen every week, it doesn't happen every month, but it still happens. And it's because it's a process. And you know, it's going to be a lifetime commitment for you, especially as someone who takes things more personal to understand how to not do that and let it go. And the quicker you can do that, the more peace you're going to have.

[B]

So you got this, Kier?

[A]

Yeah, I think so too.

[B]

You got this. I sent you some links to that book for you too.

[D]

Okay, thank you so much. I, I just, I just saw the link. But there's, there's just so many factors going on in my life that are kind of like factors like my car broke down on me. I just got a second job so that I can be homeless, make more money, get out. Like my test, my. The really big exam is coming up in one week and I've had so little time to study. This is all. I feel like, you know, I think this is all a sign for me to, that I need to work my ass off to get the out.

[A]

And you do that.

[D]

I want to live.

[A]

That's 100 accurate. And let me tell you something else. There's a lot of people that come from a much harder situation that you are. That have done everything that you're wanting to do and more. So remember that when you think, oh, man. Because us, as humans, as individuals, we tend to think we've got it the hardest out of everybody, and it's just not true. Everybody's got hard. It just appears in different ways. And you have to understand that this is part of the price. This is part of the test. And you are seeing exactly correctly that you need to do these things now, when you're young, so that you don't have to do them at 40, saying, oh, you know, I finally get my life together.

[B]

So you got this.

[D]

All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks so much for answering. This has been a sick conversation. I'm definitely not gonna let you know. I don't know how to say this politely, you know, the nicest demon I've ever known. You know, put me down.

[B]

Oh, you got it.

[A]

Well, cool.

[D]

All right, man. Thanks again.

[B]

All right, thanks, Kira.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Yeah, man, that's a tough thing, man, but it is so necessary, bro.

[A]

Dude, at the end of the day, man, you gotta understand that it doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter if it's your best friend. It doesn't matter if it's your parents, it doesn't matter if it's your siblings. It doesn't matter who it is. If they are pulling away from what you are trying to do with your life and not contributing to it, they don't deserve a spot on the roster because the achievement of life goals is one of the hardest things that you can do. And it doesn't matter if it's being a nurse or if it's being a CEO or if it's being an athlete or a musician. Being accomplished in anything takes time and energy and work. And we can't have that energy pulled away by people, no matter who they are. If we're serious about getting where we want to go, and for most people, that's going to mean you're going to have to cut quite a few people out of your life over the years. You know, the people that I associate with today are not the people I associated with five years ago or 10 years ago or 20 years ago. It's just the truth. Yeah, there's a few, but it's not many, because we're always growing, we're always evolving, and we're always moving up the ladder if we're an ambitious person. And as we go through this process, what ends up happening is all of These people that take away from us get replaced with people that contribute and push us forward. And then when you get into that spot, it's. It's. It's a different life, man. You know, you're not having conversations with people at dinner who are questioning what you're trying to do. You know, you're not having family events where people are like, oh, you're still going to nursing school. What are you gonna do? You know, blah, blah, blah. You know, we. We get all these smart ass comments, and eventually those comments are replaced with people that are like, hey, man, what you got going on? Oh, you got that. Hey, dude, I know this person. They can help you out with this. Let's get here. The conversations completely change from people pulling you back to people pushing you forward. And unfortunately, most people never get to that point because they quit before they ever get there. They don't realize that you end up being surrounded by people who care about you, who want you to win. Guess what? Most of those people aren't related to you. They're not related to you.

[B]

So you haven't even met him yet.

[A]

Look, bro, Exactly. Exactly. And for Kiara, you know, she's 25, dude. She's going through a transition period where her mom, she sounds. Her mom sounds like she's bipolar. That's what it sounds like. But I'm not a fucking, you know, in a place to diagnose that. But at the end of the day, she's got somebody who's dragging her down a path that she can't afford to go down at this point in her life. And whether that means having a conversation and having it stop, or whether that means never talking to her again, Your life is that important. It is that important because you only get one. And sometimes people are stuck with shitty ass parents, bro. And that's just it. That is, you know, it's real, man.

[B]

That's real with guys. Andy. Dude, that was three.

[A]

Yep. All right, guys, we'll catch you on CTI tomorrow. Don't be a ho show. The show went from sleeping on the flow now my jury parks froze Fuck up pole, fuck up stove Counted millions.

[B]

In a cold bad bitch booted swole.

[A]

Got her own bank row can't fold just a no head shot case Cloak, clothes.