931. Q&AF: “Balance” With A Busy Schedule, Handling Salary Frustrations & How To Work With A Team

Summary

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella – Episode 931

Title: Q&AF: “Balance” With A Busy Schedule, Handling Salary Frustrations & How To Work With A Team
Date: September 1, 2025
Host: Andy Frisella
Co-host: DJ

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Overview

In this Q&AF episode, Andy Frisella tackles three listener questions that dig into the gritty reality behind trendy business mantras. He breaks down the myths of "work-life balance" for high performers, addresses salary inequality and how to take control of your value in the workplace, and finally, why winning in business is always a team sport. The conversation is direct, gritty, and loaded with Andy’s signature tough love and no-BS insights, providing a sharp wake-up call to anyone serious about exceptional success.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Myth of “Balance” When You Have Ambitious Goals

[05:19 - 18:50]

• The Question: How do you sustain a healthy balance while working long hours and trying to improve yourself?
• Andy’s Perspective:
  • Challenges the very premise of “balance” as defined by society, especially for those with big goals.
    • “Who defines a healthy balance? Wouldn’t a healthy balance be determined by what your desired outcome is and how to get there?” [05:52]
  • Points out that aiming for extraordinary results while pursuing average balance is a contradiction.
    • “You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. That’s not how the world works … You can’t build amazing and also have balance. It’s just not real.” [06:29]
  • Distinguishes between being busy and being effective.
    • “Being busy is not the same as being effective. Busy equals broke. Effective equals rich. Rich in money, rich in time, rich in opportunity.” [08:13]
  • Explains that at the start, true “balance” is a myth — building anything big is all-consuming for years.
    • “When you’re in startup mode or build mode, there’s no balance, bro. It’s every day, all day, as much as you can do. And it’s like that for a long time in the beginning.” [09:16]
  • Extreme commitment is not a choice—it’s the entry fee.
    • “You have to pay the price. … The actions you take have to be executed at a high level.” [10:15]
    • “The bigger the life that you’re trying to build, the less balance you’re gonna have, okay? And the more balance you have, the smaller the life you’re gonna build.” [12:33]
  • Vilifies internet “gurus,” “feel-good” content, and rebranded definitions of success as distractions that weaken focus.
    • “All these memes and all this feel-good bullshit—all it does is cloud your mind. It dulls your edge. It makes you think things should be a certain way for you when you’ve picked a completely different path.” [19:01]
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Stop trying to convince people that there’s nobility in being less than what they could be and less than what they should be. That idea is what’s killing the world.” [14:12]
  • “You are on a different path. You can’t listen to your mom, you can’t listen to your aunt, you can’t listen to your cousin, you can’t listen to your friends. … It takes a different kind of life. And that life ain’t for everybody.” [42:17]
• DJ’s Take:
  • Suggests thinking about “balance” on a macro (multi-year) scale instead of daily.
    • “For these 10 years, it means it’s gonna be late nights … and then in 10 years, then we could talk about: can I work on this?” [17:08]

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2. Addressing Salary Frustrations and Perceptions of Inequality

[22:13 - 32:09]

• The Question: A listener who’s helped a company grow immensely discovers her male peers make more, despite her heavy contributions, and wonders how to approach the situation.
• Andy’s Perspective:
  • Cautions against immediately attributing pay differences to gender.
    • “Are you sure it has to do with gender or are they better negotiators than you? Do they voice their frustrations better than you?” [22:13]
  • Stresses the importance of self-advocacy—valuable employees must make their value known.
    • “Nobody’s going to toot your horn unless you toot it. … I would have my stats, I would have my data, I would have my KPIs, and I would have my case made for why I should be making more money.” [23:53]
  • Criticizes blaming management without ever raising the issue.
    • “Most people who run companies will not pay someone unless they ask. Okay. And most employees are uncomfortable asking, which creates this dynamic of frustration.” [27:45]
  • Points out business leadership is about maximizing value, not discriminating.
    • “Do you really think that somebody is going to risk not succeeding … on whether or not the motherfucker’s a male or a female or black or white?” [25:14]
  • Defines “undeniable” value as being far ahead of peers, not just a little better.
    • “Undeniable is a thousand steps above everybody else. It is not slightly above.” [27:02]
  • Warns of building toxic mental narratives without evidence; urges facts over feelings in negotiation.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “If you’re so badass, why the fuck are you not doing that?” [22:40]
  • “If you got a problem with what you’re getting paid, you should make an undeniable case for why you should get paid more.” [28:46]
  • “Look, go tell them what you want. Hit ’em with the facts. Period.” [28:47]
  • “Winners win, bro. And the best player plays.” [31:27]
• DJ’s Perspective:
  • Reminds listeners that bosses can’t track everyone’s contributions—clear communication is essential.
    • “There’s a false assumption that your operator is supposed to know and be aware of all these entries in every little space.” [29:51]

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3. “Needing People” – The Mindset of Team Play in Business

[33:24 - 41:58]

• The Question: As a business owner used to doing everything alone, how do you accept (without feeling weak) that you need others to succeed?
• Andy’s Perspective:
  • Dismisses the fantasy of solo success as delusional and rooted in insecurity.
    • “This is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever fucking heard. … Are you going to go play in the NFL and run the football down the field by yourself? You’d get fucking killed. Business is a team sport.” [33:24]
  • Explains that winning always involves a team, even when it appears individual.
    • “Tennis—team sport or no? Yes. … Race car driving—individual or team sport? Massive teams.” [38:09]
  • Switches the narrative: view working with people as a privilege, not a weakness.
    • “Change your frame from ‘I don’t need people’ to ‘I love working with people … It’s a privilege.’ Not everybody has that, man.” [34:18]
  • Shares how greater fulfillment, fun, and success comes from building genuine relationships.
    • “The best part of that entire journey is the people you get to do it with. It’s the vendors, it’s the customers, it’s the people you talk to, the relationships you build, the friends you make. It's the best part of it.” [36:47]
  • Encourages listeners to let go of pride and ego, and to focus on enjoying the collaborative journey.
    • “This is an ego problem. You need to humble yourself.” [38:31]
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “There’s not anything out here that you can win at a high level on your own. It’s impossible. Nothing.” [38:16]
  • “When you’re having fun, you make more money. It’s just the truth.” [38:40]
  • “Stop thinking you’re going to be the only person ever to build an awesome plumbing company by yourself. No customers. Like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude?” [33:50]

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Notable Closing Thoughts

• Andy’s Core Message:
  • Exceptional success requires a different path, mindset, and commitment. Mainstream ideas of balance and independence rarely apply in the pursuit of greatness.
  • “You are on a different path than everybody else. … You’re not going to get million-dollar results with minimum wage work ethic. It’s not gonna happen.” [42:17, 42:51]
• On “Expert” Advice:
  • Andy urges listeners to be wary of advice from people who have never built anything real.
  • “If you want to win, you better listen to motherfuckers who have built real shit. Not some asshole who’s just selling you some nonsense on the Internet.” [41:50]

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Summary Table – Key Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Key Themes | |-----------------------------------------------|----------------------|----------------------------------------------------| | Movie Banter & Episode Setup | 00:16 – 05:19 | Light intro, movie recs, show purpose | | Q1 - Work-Life Balance & Ambition | 05:19 – 18:50 | Balance is myth; effectiveness vs. busyness; macro balance; price of big success | | Q2 - Salary Frustrations & Equity | 22:13 – 32:09 | Self-advocacy; negotiation; undeniable value; fairness | | Q3 - Needing a Team for Success | 33:24 – 41:58 | Business as a team sport; shifting mindset; fulfillment through people |

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Final Takeaways

Andy Frisella’s trademark directness slices through the fluff that usually clouds business discussions. Whether it’s about the sacrifices needed for greatness, demanding your worth, or embracing the power of relationships, the consistent message is clear:
Exceptional outcomes demand exceptional actions, relentless self-advocacy, and a willingness to work with others. The rules don’t change just because you’d prefer they did.

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Memorable Andy Quote to End:

“Stop trying to take the actions of everybody else and think you’re going to have an exceptional result. … If you talk and think like them, you’re going to be like them. It’s not that hard to understand.” [41:38]

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(If you want to dive deeper into Andy’s systems, check Episode 16 for the Power List, and Episode 208 for the Live Hard mental transformation program.)

Transcript

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in the cold bad booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold that's a no head shot case. Cloak. Cloak.

[Andy Purcell]

What is up? Guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality. Guys. Today we have Q and A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your question a few different ways. DJ is going to tell you how.

[DJ]

Guys, the first way is you can email your questions into ask [e-mail] or, or you can drop your question down in the Q and A episodes in the comments.

[Andy Purcell]

Or.

[DJ]

Or you can click the link in the description below and submit your questions that way.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, that's the way you guys should be doing it. Get live on the show. Tomorrow we're going to have CTI stands for cruise the Internet. We're going to talk about what's going on in the world. We're going to put topics on the screen. We're going to speculate on what they really mean, and then we're going to talk about how we the people have to do the things that need to be done to solve these problems in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk. Just 5, 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses and we have an awesome episode coming up for you guys this week. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is available for free at episode two zero eight on the audio feed. If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard, it is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever. And you can get it for free at episode 208. Or you could buy the book, which is called the Book on Mental Toughness. You can get [e-mail] that is not free, but it is far more in depth. So yeah, I think that's it. And then we have, you know, a little fee. The fee is very simple. Share the show. We have this little thing that we say around here. Don't be a hoe.

[DJ]

Share the show.

[Andy Purcell]

All right. What's going on, man? Nothing, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah, I. So I have another movie recommendation for you.

[Andy Purcell]

Really?

[DJ]

Mm.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay.

[DJ]

And you'd know, speaking that I'm like two for two right now on your.

[Andy Purcell]

What the fuck?

[DJ]

No, dude, it's a Threesome.

[Andy Purcell]

Oh, man. Yeah, it's a threesome.

[DJ]

I got another movie recommendation for you.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Since I'm two for two right now with you on movie recommendations.

[Andy Purcell]

You are two for two?

[DJ]

Yeah. Kingdom of Heaven.

[Andy Purcell]

Yes.

[DJ]

And Brokeback Mountain. You said you really liked that one.

[Andy Purcell]

I asked you not to repeat that.

[DJ]

No, no, but real shit. I watched this movie last night. I didn't sleep well last night. I don't know, it was weird. But I was on YouTube and there is a free movie on YouTube with ads. It's called Nefarious.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

With Patrick Flannery. What's his name? Sean.

[Andy Purcell]

Sean Patrick Flannery?

[DJ]

Yes.

[Andy Purcell]

From Boondock Sakes.

[DJ]

Yeah. Okay. He's like the main. It's him. Dude. I don't even want to get into it.

[Andy Purcell]

It's good.

[DJ]

You have to watch it.

[Andy Purcell]

All right.

[DJ]

Absolutely have to watch it.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay.

[DJ]

It's all got. No, it's a really good movie. I'm telling, like, if you guys have seen it, let us know in the comments. It's a really good movie.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay.

[DJ]

It's a mind fuck, man.

[Andy Purcell]

Have you seen a new F1 movie yet?

[DJ]

I've not.

[Andy Purcell]

It's on Amazon.

[DJ]

Is it?

[Andy Purcell]

I watched it. Everybody's talking about how good it is.

[DJ]

I haven't seen it.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, all it is is Days of Thunder remade.

[DJ]

Is it? Yeah, I probably hate it.

[Andy Purcell]

It's exactly the same scenes. It's like the same movie.

[DJ]

Oh, they took the same plot line.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it's the same plot line. It's like dude is like a washed up driver. Then he gets a ride in the big show. You know, him and the other driver hate each other. Then they go to dinner and they play poker and they get Start getting along and then he gets in a wreck. The other, the young driver. And then like they win. Like it's the fucking same story, dude. Yeah, it's the same story.

[DJ]

So what was better? Days of Thunder.

[Andy Purcell]

Yes. Yeah, I'm watching this. I mean, dude, for you young guys, you probably never seen Days of Thunder, but I mean, straight ripoff, bro. Yeah, Real talk.

[DJ]

I mean, hey, cool. Repeats itself or at least attempts you. Yeah, right.

[Andy Purcell]

Days of Thunder is way better.

[DJ]

Yeah, well, I don't know, man, but gotta watch it. Nefarious. Yeah, watch it.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay.

[DJ]

You'll love it. You'll thank me.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay. All right, let's do the show. I got it. Nefarious, man.

[DJ]

Who's in it?

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah.

[DJ]

All right. All right. Well, let's. Let's get into some Q and A's, man. It's It's. It's a beautiful Monday, Labor Day. Happy Labor Day to everybody out there. And let's make some people better.

[Andy Purcell]

Let's do it.

[DJ]

Let's knock these out, man. Guys. Andy, question number one, Andy, how. My question is, how do you sustain a healthy balance? Working out, working 12 to 14 hours a day, six days a week, operate dump trucks, and I want to improve on myself. I'm not overweight, but it is hard to keep at it with a changing schedule. So I guess just balancing, like, what. What's this idea of balance that people are talking about that I always want?

[Andy Purcell]

I don't know. You tell me, dude. Who makes up this rule about balance? And everybody has to have this same balance? Like, who wrote this thing like, oh, we got to have a healthy balance? Who defines a healthy balance? Wouldn't a healthy balance be determined by what your desired outcome is and how to get there? Okay, like this. Trying to take extraordinary goals and ambitions and plug them into the idea of balance that everybody else lives by does not work. The reason it doesn't work is because they're looking for one outcome and you are looking for a different outcome. And this would be the same thing if I were to say, hey, I'm driving to Boston, you're driving to California. Let's take the same route. Like, that doesn't work. So what is this with you fuckers that makes you think that you're going to have balance and also win at a big level? Now, you can have balance and you can get by and you can live a good life and you can sit by the pond and whistle tunes or whatever you do. But, bro, that's not gonna get you the prize too, okay? You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. That is not how the the world works. And it is so overdone and overcooked and ridiculous at this point in time that people have not figured out that you can't have both. You can't build amazing and also have balance. It's just not real. And anybody who tells you different hasn't built anything. Okay, now, can you do things to optimize the amount of time that you're going to get? Yes, you can. That's why I developed the Power list. That's what it does. You can get it for free at episode 16. There is also amazing app on itunes. Wherever apps you get, wherever you get your apps, you can get it there. This product, this system allows you to create productivity over the course of time, day in and day out, and still have Free time, okay? Being busy is not the same as being effective. The more effective you are, the more free time you have. The more busy you are, the less free time you have. Busy equals broke. Effective equals rich. Rich in money, rich in time, rich in opportunity. Okay? So we have to define and think about what it is we are actually talking about here. We are talking about being effective. If you are effective, you will have time to do things with your friends, with your families. The problem is y' all think that being busy is how you get there. And that's not the truth. Okay? So. And then on top of that, there's going to be times where there's zero balance. No matter how effective you are during the day. Like when you're in startup mode or you're in build mode. There's no balance, bro. It's every day, all day, as much as you can do. And it's like that for a long time in the beginning.

[DJ]

So grind.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, 100%, dude. It doesn't. The, the rules don't change because you want them to change. They don't change because your favorite therapist you follow on the Internet says that whatever you're doing is unhealthy. Okay, well then be like them. But you don't want to be like them. You want to have that lifestyle and then you want to have all the other too. And that is not how the it works, bro. And I'm so tired of people asking this stupid ass question, okay? I've answered it for 10 years. Every guru dude out there tries to tell you that you can fucking become a gazillionaire in an hour, a day. They're lying, they're misleading you. All of this on the Internet is bullshit, ok? You have to pay the price. And not only do you have to pay the price, you got to pay the price. Well, meaning the actions you take have to be executed at a high level. Like this is not that hard to understand. You just don't want to understand it. You want it to be that you can off half the time and still get where you want to go. And that just doesn't work. Okay? So I don't know what it is with you guys. I don't really understand this. But you ain't ever going to get there with that mentality. The mentality should be like this, how the fuck do I get there? Period? Okay? Because it is very hard to get there. It's not easy, it's not guaranteed. There's nothing about it that's fair. It's very difficult. It takes Your entire life, all of your motherfucking energy. And to think that you can get there with balance, too, is a ridiculous belief. And it's insulting to anybody who's been down the path, because quite honestly, you don't have any skills and you don't have any experience. You don't have the fucking tools. You don't have the resources, you don't have the connections. And somehow you think you're going to get there with less effort than even the people who do. Like, it's. It's so ridiculous. And this is like, this is the problem with glorifying entrepreneurship. This is the problem with glorifying success. And all of these dumbass coaches out there that lie to people about what it actually takes so that they can sell them their little system and they can make money. All the while, the person who's buying the system, it never works for them. And then they think, I'm not cut out for success. I'm not cut out to win. I'm not cut out to be that person I'm wanting to be deep down inside, when in reality, you're just being lied to about the fucking game, okay? And if you knew the actual rules, you would understand what it took to get there and you wouldn't stop yourself and say, oh, well, I guess I don't have what it takes. This is like the diet industry, okay? The diet industry survives because easy, quick, instant, £20 in fucking one week. And everybody knows it's bullshit. But what happens? Somebody who doesn't know anything starts to buy this shit. They don't lose any weight. And who do they blame? They don't blame the company for lying to them. They don't blame the marketer. They blame themselves. And they say, shit, Well, I guess I'm just different. I guess I'm just gonna be fat. And in entrepreneurship, they're saying this, I guess this isn't for me. I guess I can't make money. I guess I can't succeed. When in reality, lots of people have the potential to succeed, but they're being lied to about the price they have to pay, okay? So get this in your head. The bigger the life that you're trying to build, the less balance you're gonna have, okay? And the more balance you have, the smaller the life you're gonna build. That's the reality when it comes to quote, unquote, success. Now, I'm not trying to talk about, oh, what defines success? It's fulfilling, you know, city grounding on the earth is the new rich, no motherfucker I'm talking about rich rich. I'm talking about fucking money. I'm talking about the real success of what we talk about. I'm not talking about this bullshit, fucking feel good nonsense. You know how people are, bro.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Oh, fucking new rich is peanut butter and jelly. No, it ain't. The new rich is a big ass bank account bitch. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's always been that way. That's the only fucking rich.

[DJ]

Sending your kids to schools, you want.

[Andy Purcell]

Them to go now, you could be fulfilled. That's a different thing.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's different, bro.

[Andy Purcell]

But like, I can't stand this saying. Inner peace is the new rich. That's rich for you. Whatever, bro. I don't give a. But stop trying to convince people that there's nobility and being less than what they could be and less than what they should be. Because that idea is what's killing the world. Okay? Every single person that lives out there has this vision of who they were supposed to be that was placed in their heart by God. And we get beat by society, in our friends, in our family, and we get convinced that that's ridiculous. Would you tell God that's ridiculous? I don't think you would. Okay. Becoming that version of yourself takes courage. Becoming of that version of yourself takes strength and grit and discipline and consistency. And it's hard, but it's worth it. And it's what you're supposed to do. Because the reality is other people will win or lose because of what you did with yourself and what you did with your life. And it's very easy to convince yourself that you don't matter. Well, yeah, because they spend trillions of dollars trying to convince you of that. And if you didn't matter and your life was irrelevant, then why would they spend so much time, energy and money and convincing you of that fact? Your results and your life are the biggest thing that you will ever do. Because it's going to determine what the next generation sees and does. And if you don't respect that, if you don't, if that doesn't motivate you to get off your ass and build something, then, dude, I'm sorry, you just don't have it. Go sit at McDonald's, bro, and eat Happy Meals. You know, be happy. Yeah, dude, just accept. Accept your reality. That's the problem. We have so many of these people that they don't want to accept the reality. The reality is you either pay the price now or you're going to pay it a different Way later. Right? That's it. So, yeah, if you. You could do things to optimize balance, bro. But, like, this idea of balance is. Is ridiculous. How do you balance working 10 hours a day, working out, do like. Bro, lots of people do that. Like, what do you mean? How do you just do it? You get your organized, get the power list out, make it a priority. Like, see, I. I've. I've. I've.

[DJ]

And you can tell me if I'm right or wrong. But, Andy, I listen to you like, your word is gold, bro. But this is something that I've done, and this might help. I don't know. But, like, I've. I've gotten away from thinking about life in that way of balance. Like, I look at it more like on a macro scale.

[Andy Purcell]

That's how it should be.

[DJ]

You know what I'm saying? It's like, okay, well, for these 10.

[Andy Purcell]

Years, bro, that's correct.

[DJ]

I'm gonna. Like. It means it's gonna be late nights.

[Andy Purcell]

Correct.

[DJ]

There's gonna be some, Some. Some missed parties. There's gonna be like, I gotta grow right now.

[Andy Purcell]

10 years, bro.

[DJ]

And then in 10 years, then we could talk about. Okay, well, now can I work on this?

[Andy Purcell]

That's right.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Like, that's exactly how it should be looked at. But how most people look at it is balance over the course of 24 hours.

[DJ]

Right, right.

[Andy Purcell]

How. How highly successful people look at it, they look at it as a balance over the next 30 years. I'm gonna pay the price now so that later I can have more balance in my life. I can do things I enjoy when my kids are 10, 12 years old. I can do the things that they need to do. This is reality, dude. And, like, if you can't do it or you're not willing to, cool. But, like, the game's rules don't change just because you don't like them, you know? And I. I feel like a lot of the questions we get are just people that want to hear some sort of, like, confirmation that their little way of seeing things is correct and the rules are going to bend just for them. And they have. Yeah, dude, it's not like that. The rules are the rules. It's like gravity, dude. Like, you may not like gravity. I. You know, I don't. I don't like gravity. Okay, well, that doesn't mean it's not going to smash your face if you fall off the edge of a building.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Purcell]

You know, like. I don't know, man. But yeah, it's. There's distinct Differences upon how people evaluate balance and how successful they are. I mean, there's a correlation there, right?

[DJ]

Dude, I just. Look, I would rather work my ass off now than be 50 something and have to.

[Andy Purcell]

And have to.

[DJ]

And have to.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, well, dude, I mean, you see it every day. Like, how many of these people. I mean, how many of these people are completely themselves and don't realize that, like, dude, when you're 50, you're gonna be working at Taco Bell. Like, you're. Because you're gonna have to. You know what I mean? So anyway, dude, like, yeah, I say this all the time, but you guys should all remember this. All these memes and all these feel good bullshit. All that does is cloud your mind. All it does is soften your edge. All it does is remove your focus. And I would argue that the more content you consume from people who are trying to make you feel good and find peace and find happiness and this in, like, this very soft way, the less successful you're going to be, bro. Because it dulls your edge. It makes you think things should be a certain way for you when you've picked a completely different fucking path. And then you end up in this situation where you're extremely frustrated because you're like, well, I should feel peaceful. But I'm. This is so hard. No, you're trying to mix the rules of two different games, bro. You understand? Like, dude, this. This is. This confuses the out of people and it ain't it, dude. It ain't it. It just ain't. You got every face on the Internet telling people how to win. They ain't ever won.

[DJ]

I don't.

[Andy Purcell]

I don't know what to tell you, man.

[DJ]

It's real, bro.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, like, it gets frustrating, dude.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Just because you don't like the rules doesn't mean they aren't the rules.

[DJ]

That's real, man. Guys, Andy, let's get. Let's get another question in, bro. Guys, any question number two, Andy, I could really use your perspective on something. So. I've been with a company for seven years and worked my way up from store manager to area manager and now into upper management. Along the way, I've taken on everything from hiring, onboarding, and training to employee development. And I've become the person people turn to when something needs to get done. The company has grown from 4 stores to 17 during my time here, and I've always stepped up without hesitation when the business needed me. Here's where I'm struggling. I just found out that two of my male Peers who started about the same time as me and were promoted earlier are making more than I am, and their bonus percentage is 15% higher. Now, keep in mind, I am paid very well. I feel very greedy even. Even feeling this way. I've never believed gender played a role in my career, but seeing this has really shaken me. I've always given 110% and never let money stop me from doing what's right for the company. But now that I know I'm being compensated less while doing just as much, if not more, I really mean I'm doing a ton more, I find it harder to keep going the extra mile. What would you do in my situation?

[Andy Purcell]

Well, are you sure it has to do with gender or are they better negotiators than you? Do they voice their frustrations better than you? You said, oh, I don't want to be greedy. Well, you've obviously felt that for a while that you probably needed to make more money. Why have you not said anything? Why have you not gone in and say, hey, Joe and Steve make more than me, and I'm kicking their asses? If you're so badass, why the are you not doing that? Okay, I. I would say it probably has little to do with gender, and I would say it probably has a lot to do with lack of communication. Because if you had come to me and. And these are assuming everything you said was true.

[DJ]

Facts.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay? Assuming all was true.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

And you are highly influential and very much a part of my company, going from four stores to 17 stores. I'm taking care of you.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

I'm gonna make sure you got what you need. And not only am I gonna make sure you got what you need, I'm gonna make sure you got more than what you need because I don't want you worried about. I want you worried about what we're doing here, okay? And that's the way people treat valuable employees. And, you know, it's. It's completely different than. Than non valuable employees. Non valuable employees take up space, air, and resources. Valuable employees are investments. You fucking make sure they don't go anywhere, okay? And if the company's not doing that, it means two things. Either one, you're not vocal enough about what it is that you're doing, and you're not tooting your own horn to the people who matter. Meaning not your peers. You don't go around to your peers. I'm the fucking best. That's cancer shit. That's not leadership. I don't think you do that because you wouldn't have been able to grow the way that you said you've grown by doing that. Another one is, is that, you know, you need to take that into your superiors and say, hey, because nobody's going to toot your fucking horn unless you toot it. And I would have my fucking stats, I would have my data, I would have my KPIs, and I would have my case made for why I should be making more money. And I would be prepared to leave if they didn't give it to me. That's the truth.

[DJ]

Oh, that's a tough one.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, well, there's plenty of companies to hire someone like that come work for me if you really did all that. Yeah, I'm always looking for people that build. Okay, that's assuming what you said was facts. Okay. Because also I'm going to say a lot of times people believe they're more valuable than they actually are and they will take credit for things in companies not realizing that those same things would have happened with or without them. So, you know, I don't know if you're that kind of a person or not, but I'm going to take you at your word and say you were highly responsible for this. It's either, A, you're not tooting your own horn, or B, you're probably in the wrong company. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Yeah, dude. I mean, one thing I was thinking too, like, could it also be too that, like, Steve and, you know, Joe Dirt or whoever, like, they are bringing other things to the table that you're not aware of that, you know, is bringing value somehow?

[Andy Purcell]

Everybody likes to go to this gender race. I don't give. Listen, I want to win. People who run companies want to win. The competition is hard. It's very hard. It's the hardest thing ever. Do you really think that somebody is going to risk not succeeding when they have their whole life and their whole financial future and their whole thing on whether or not the motherfucker's a male or a female or black or white or fucking this or that. Those people don't last in business because they're fucking stupid, okay? I want the best players. I. It's. It's like the NFL, dude. I don't give a, bro, if we got a tailback and it happens to be a woman and she can run faster than everybody else and run the over everybody. I'm putting her in a game, bro.

[DJ]

Put her in a coach.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, like. Like, dude, no one gives a. That's. The people that have excuses say that's the. That people say when they, you know, look at things and they're like, oh, this isn't fair. It's not fair. That's why you have to be so good and so undeniable that when the conversation comes up, it's like, I'm taking Pat Mahomes, bro. It's.

[DJ]

It's Pat Mahomes.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah. Like, it is what it is. I'm not like, that's. That's undeniable. And people don't realize when we talk about undeniable, we're not talking about a little bit better. We're talking about so much better that every. That walks in that building, whether they work there or don't work there, understand who the is right when they walk in. That is undeniable. Undeniable is a thousand steps above everybody else. It is not slightly above. Okay.

[DJ]

Not close.

[Andy Purcell]

No, not close. So, you know, look, I don't think it's because of gender. Your boss wants to win. They're growing the company. They went from four to 17 stores. They want to win. Okay? So if you're. That. If you're that much of a key of the equation, he's going to recognize or she's going to recognize that they need to pay you. And if. If they don't and you really are that person, they're stupid. Okay. And, you know, but I think it probably has to do with you not making a case for yourself the way they maybe have done.

[DJ]

Yeah. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask you that too, because.

[Andy Purcell]

Like, you know, dude, let me tell you something.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Mo. Now, most people who run companies will not pay someone unless they ask. Okay. And most employees are uncomfortable asking, which creates this dynamic of frustration. Okay. And so the employee doesn't communicate.

[DJ]

It's unreasonable expectations.

[Andy Purcell]

The. The employee doesn't communicate. The boss feels like everything's cool, and then all of a sudden, the employee bounces. They underpaid me. They me. They. You. You. You didn't say a goddamn word. You just sat there and took it. If you got a problem with what you're getting paid, you should make a undeniable case for why you should get paid more. And you should take it to your leadership. That's the truth. But it has to be real. It has to be stats, it has to be data. It cannot be. I think I'm doing better than everybody else. I feel it. Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

I work hard, I show up on time. Yeah. You're supposed to, like. You know what I'm saying?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Look, go Tell them what you want. Hit him with the facts, period.

[DJ]

Yeah, like, yeah, I do. I was thinking this too, man, because, like, again, like, I'm with you. I'm pretty much every day, bro. Like, and I see what you have to go through.

[Andy Purcell]

Like, dude, there's a major. There's a major lesson in, in the development of an employee.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

To teach them that they have to do what I just said to their own homework. Hold on. No, they've got to make a case. Data, reality, statistics, points on the board, a real case. Why do you think that is important for an employee's development? Because eventually you're going to have to negotiate deals and eventually you're going to have to handle finances if you continue to move up the chain. And so an intelligent leader will not fucking give someone a raise until they make a case for it because it's, it's part of their development.

[DJ]

That's a whole other player. Yeah, I was just thinking, I think, I think too along your lines, though, of just like the disconnection, though. It's like there's, There's a false assumption that, like, you know, that your owner or your operator, whoever is supposed to know and be aware of all these entries in every little space. You just grew from four to 17 stores. How many more employees is that? And so he's supposed to. All right.

[Andy Purcell]

Hey.

[DJ]

Yeah, yeah, Come in here. I know. You know, you ain't said nothing in a while to me, bro.

[Andy Purcell]

I had an employee recently come up to me and tell me that they, they. That they weren't being treated fairly and all this shit. Right? And I'm like, well, I don't. How much do you get paid? I don't even fucking know.

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Andy Purcell]

You know, I don't know. I have no idea.

[DJ]

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. That's what, that's my point.

[Andy Purcell]

It's like being tapped in and I'm.

[DJ]

Like, it's not fair.

[Andy Purcell]

Well, have you brought that to anybody?

[DJ]

Well, no, no.

[Andy Purcell]

Have you said anything to anybody?

[DJ]

No.

[Andy Purcell]

Have you? What the fuck, man?

[DJ]

Right, right, right. And that's where they go and build their own stories and they start believing.

[Andy Purcell]

That, and then it's. You fuck them.

[DJ]

Yeah, right, right.

[Andy Purcell]

When you react like, dude, no offense to this woman here, but she's already started to build that story. She's already started to build the story that the reason she's not paid equally is because she's a woman. Which data nationally does not actually back that up at all. Ok, so you're making a story in your head that may not be true. And if it is true, it means you work for a shitty company. Because a real company that wants to fucking win doesn't give a fuck who, what color, race, gender. I don't give a fuck, bro. I'm on here every day talking about, I don't care.

[DJ]

Winners win.

[Andy Purcell]

Winners win, bro. And the best player plays. And the people who own companies want to fucking grow and make money. And they're going to put. Like, this whole idea is so absurd to me. Oh, you're discriminating against me because I'm black. What the fuck are you talking about, bro? I want to fucking win. Can you do the job? Yeah.

[DJ]

You show up late to work, bro. Like, what do you want me to. So that's for tomorrow.

[Andy Purcell]

So listen, I. It's that. That's not exclusive to any race. That's a character thing.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

And, you know, and then people will show up on time for six months like I showed up on time for six months. It's like, yeah, that's how you don't get fired. That's the base. Extra.

[DJ]

Yeah, baby.

[Andy Purcell]

Slime. That's real, man.

[DJ]

That's real. I love it, man. We got one more question, bro. Final question, guys. Andy, question number three. Andy. I have always been able to go after anything I wanted and getting it by working hard and relying on myself. I've never felt like I needed anyone else for anything. However, as a business owner to a service plumbing company, I've come to realize that I do need others for my success. I need customers to want to do business with my company. I need them to trust me that I will fix their issues efficiently and for a fair price. I need them to refer me to others. I need them to entrust my abilities and allow me to show them that I am an honest business owner and that I will conduct myself in a professional manner. I need suppliers to trust me and give me accounts that will allow my business to be competitive within the industry. So my question is, how do I internally accept the fact that I need others to help me so that I can become successful? I struggle with needing anyone and being vulnerable and even more so, conducting myself in the manner of needing others. I do not want to come off as a struggling business, but Jesus Christ, bro.

[Andy Purcell]

This is the most ridiculous shit I've ever fucking heard. Okay, I'm just going to stop you right here. What the fuck are you talking about? Are you going to go play in the NFL and run the fucking football down the field by yourself? You get fucking killed. Business is a team sport. Part of being successful is working with other people. In fact, it's the main part. You can't do everything on yourself. That's a small minded mentality and it's also an insecure mentality. No one thinks you're vulnerable because you are struggling business because you do what everybody else in the world does and work with people.

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Purcell]

Like that's insane, bro. Do you know? Do you, do you understand how ridiculous that sounds? It's insane. You're going to be the only person ever to build a awesome plumbing company by yourself. No customers. Like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? Okay, let me give you the answer to your question. It's real simple. Change your perspective, change your framework from this. I don't need any people. I'm a big tough guy. I could handle myself. I can do all this shit to this. I love working with people. I love talking to customers. I love the people I go to work with. I love my vendors, I love my suppliers. I. Dude, every time you see them, be excited. Hey, dj, what's up, man? You know, how's business for you? Your day will be so much more fulfilling and so much more fun and you will make so much more money by just changing your perspective from. I'm a big tough guy. I gotta do everything on my own and otherwise I'm a to man. This is so cool. I get to do all this great with all these awesome people every day. Dude. I could be working by myself, being miserable, not having anybody to talk to. I get to wake up today and I get to go to work and I get to see this person and that person and I get to talk to them about this. That, this, like, bro, that's a privilege. Not everybody has that, man. And like, I'm gonna tell you this. The times I've struggled in business the most are the times I've lied to myself about what I have to do. I look at it like, I gotta go in, I gotta handle this problem or I gotta this and this and this. And now as I've gotten older, I've started to see it like this. You know what, this guy's such an idiot for doing this. But like, he's a young guy, he doesn't know. So now I get to help him and I get to save him from doing this later on, you know, I changed my framework. Yes. So you got to change your frame, dude. And you got to realize that like the. I'm going to tell you guys this too. Let me. I'm going to be really honest. I'VE made a ton of money. Everybody knows that. It's no secret I'm very wealthy. I've been very successful in almost everything I've done since the time I was 19 years old. The best part of that entire journey is the people you get to do it with. It's the people you get. It's the vendors, it's the customers. It's the people you talk to, the relationships you build, the. The friends you make. It's the best. It's the best part of it. So just embrace it, dude. And stop thinking, like, overanalyzing yourself. Like, you're not going to be the first person that does this on your own. Nobody's going to think you're vulnerable or weak because you're doing things that everybody else in the history of Earth has had to do, bro. You get what I'm saying? This is an ego problem. You need to humble yourself, okay? You think you're so good and so strong and so tough and so independent. You probably were raised by an old school man who said this. Blue collar man who said, oh, real man doesn't. Okay, cool. You're trying to do something different, bro. And. And the truth of the matter is those people are miserable. Nobody likes them. They don't have friends. They walk around grumpy all the time. They walk around being kind of dicks, you know? No, like, you know, it's like the. You meet. We all know the type. Hey, man, what's up? How you doing? Living the dream. It's like, all right, well off then, you know? Like, you know, I mean, that. That's the truth. So, like, dude, you got to change your frame, man. And the cool thing is, is once you start treating people like that, not only are you having more fun and you're happier, more fulfilled, but you're way more successful because those people want to help you. You know what I'm saying, bro? Winning is a team sport, okay? Even when it's not a team sport, it's a team sport. Tennis team sport or no? Yes. Coaches, travel, organization, trainers, recovery, team sport, race car driving, individual or team sport.

[DJ]

Massive teams.

[Andy Purcell]

That's right. You've seen it up firsthand. Okay?

[DJ]

30 people is a one team.

[Andy Purcell]

But people don't think like that.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Okay? There is not anything out here that you can win at a high level on your own. It's impossible. Nothing. I can't think of anything fucking you. Oh, you're an accomplished author. Okay, well, who edited the book? Who marketed the book? Who did this?

[DJ]

Yeah, it's Team?

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, it's always team, bro. You can't win without it. All right? So, bro, humble yourself, like, for. Realize that you can. You're not weak, you're not a. You don't struggle. You're doing business. And business requires relationships. And relationships, when seen through the right lens, are very fulfilling and fun. And when you're having fun, you make more money. It's just the truth, okay? So stop that. Stupid ass. That's the dumbest I ever heard, bro.

[DJ]

I love it.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, I mean, man, you know, I want you guys to win, dude. Like, this is why I do this stuff. You know, I don't do, you know, I don't show. I'm not a. I'm not a. Like, I don't show my. And cars and life. And I want you to see what the is at the other end if you want it, you know? And that doesn't come from doing things on your own or trying to have balance like everybody else. Like, dude, Tom Brady's life and Joe the plumber's life look two different ways. And whatever outcome you're desiring requires a certain path. And when you try to fill your head with information from everybody who's on a different path, that's only going to you up mentally, okay? And you have to realize that, dude, as an entrepreneur, as someone who's ambitious, as someone who has big goals, you know, the Data says, oh, 10 of people are entrepreneurs. No, they're not. You know, it's like serious entrepreneur is like 2%. Okay? Everybody likes to say they're an entrepreneur. I own a fucking, you know, a drop shipping. Like, dude, no, no, listen, people are not going to understand, dude. They're not going to understand. And by the way, they don't want to understand. Stop explaining yourself. Stop worrying about what they think. They do not give a about your reasons for doing it. They want to talk you out of doing it so they can feel better about not doing it themselves. So you have to stop listening to everything and everyone and reading all this stupid on the Internet about healthy balance and this and that and this. Because it's going to get you into a place you don't want to be. And then you're going to look around and be like, why the did I never get where I wanted to go? Wouldn't you rather just get where you want to go? I don't know, man. I. I got nothing else, dude. It's just like, I love it. It's like, like, I just don't understand this. I just don't Understand this mentality, dude. I don't understand this mentality of I want to be a pro football player, but I want to work. Like I'm, you know, selling snow cones. Like, what are you talking about, man?

[DJ]

And by myself?

[Andy Purcell]

Yes. Like, what are you talking about? You're talking about two different things.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Purcell]

Stop trying to take the actions of everybody else and think you're going to have an exceptional result. Everybody else talks about all this shit. And you, if you talk and think like them, you're going to be like them. It's not that hard to understand. You got to. If you want to win, you better listen to motherfuckers have built real shit. Not some asshole who's just selling you some nonsense on the Internet.

[DJ]

Yeah, that's real, bro. I love it, dude.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, I love it too. But like, I wanna, sometimes I want to grab you by the hair and look you in the eyes and be like, what the are you thinking? Yeah, like, it's not that hard, bro. It's really not. It's really not. You just have to understand you are on a different path than everybody else. You are on a different path. You can't listen to your mom, you can't listen to your aunt, you can't listen to your cousin, you can't listen to the. Your friends. You're on a different path, bro. And it takes different actions and it takes different thoughts and it takes a different kind of life. And that life ain't for everybody. And if it ain't for you, that's okay too. But you're not going to get the X the, the excellent exceptional result with, you know, like there's a saying, bro, you're not going to get million dollar result with minimum wage work ethic. It's not gonna happen.

[DJ]

No, that's real, bro. All right. That's a hell of a way to start a week.

[Andy Purcell]

Yeah, yeah. Stop. Stop being ridiculous, guys. Like, I feel like I just yelled at everybody 40 minutes.

[DJ]

They love it though. They like, they like it. Yeah, it's fine.

[Andy Purcell]

We got a bunch of weirdos. All right, listen, I just want you guys to win, bro. And I want you guys to know the reality of it. I want you to understand that most of these people out here aren't telling you because their idea of winning is how to sell you some sort of solution that isn't even fucking real, man. Anyway, all right, CPI tomorrow. Go out and kick ass.

[Unknown Rapper]

Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jury box froze up. Pole stove counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booty swole. Got her own bank roll. Can't fold. Just a no head shot. Case closed, close.