DJ or Co-host (2:53)

Share the show.

Andy Frisella (2:54)

All right. What's up, dude?

DJ or Co-host (2:55)

Thought we gotta do something special for tonight's live. Yeah, yeah, like, but there has to be. I wonder where. So I've been doing some. Some trying on things.

Andy Frisella (3:04)

Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (3:05)

And I tried on a really awesome suit that you got me. Fits beautifully. Yeah, fits beautifully. And I feel like, you know, it would be a nice reward for the people to see, but, like, we, like, there has to be something in it from them, you know what I'm saying? Like, what's the buy in.

Andy Frisella (3:18)

What, to see you in a suit? Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (3:20)

No, to see me in that suit, though. You know, that. That special one.

Andy Frisella (3:23)

Oh, yeah.

DJ or Co-host (3:24)

No, not the birthday one.

Andy Frisella (3:25)

I don't know, man.

DJ or Co-host (3:25)

It's later, you know what I'm saying? We gotta have something. We gotta have something, dude. People been asking for it, but, like.

Andy Frisella (3:30)

Hey, what are you drinking over there? Dude?

DJ or Co-host (3:32)

Dude, this is. This is the best one.

Andy Frisella (3:35)

You know what?

DJ or Co-host (3:36)

I'm not gonna lie.

Andy Frisella (3:37)

It's. It's actually pretty damn good, bro.

DJ or Co-host (3:40)

It brings me back to like. Like, Like I was a little kid, I used to love Hawaiian punch.

Andy Frisella (3:45)

Yeah, me too.

DJ or Co-host (3:46)

And this is carbonated Hawaiian. Like, I don't know if I can legally say that.

Andy Frisella (3:50)

Yeah, I. I don't know what it's called. It's maybe it's called punch, dude. Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (3:54)

When are these rolling out?

Andy Frisella (3:56)

Right after the first of the year. They'll be on the shelves. So we've got that.

DJ or Co-host (3:59)

And the grape's got to watch out, bro.

Andy Frisella (4:00)

And the. The Silver Lightning coming out.

DJ or Co-host (4:02)

Yeah. Grape's going to have my.

Andy Frisella (4:03)

I call it White Lightning. You know, people. People didn't like that one, but yeah, we got those coming out. I actually haven't tried the Silver Lightning, but I did try the. The punch flavor. Holy, man.

DJ or Co-host (4:16)

Paradise. Punch is.

Andy Frisella (4:17)

It's really good.

DJ or Co-host (4:18)

It's a punch of paradise.

Andy Frisella (4:19)

It sure is. Punch you right in the mouth.

DJ or Co-host (4:22)

That's right.

Andy Frisella (4:23)

A little paradise. Anyway.

DJ or Co-host (4:26)

Yeah, ma', am, it is good, dude. It is.

Andy Frisella (4:29)

I. We. You know, a couple guys on the team out at ufc, they've been trying it, and I've been getting texts about it, dude, and they're like, damn. Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (4:37)

This is gonna, like. I'm telling you, Grapes Got Grape's gonna be in second place. There's no doubt about that. Yeah, yeah. Because it is in first place.

Andy Frisella (4:44)

That's your swirl talking.

DJ or Co-host (4:50)

Well, yeah, man.

Andy Frisella (4:51)

You good? Yeah, I'm good, man.

DJ or Co-host (4:53)

Let's make some people better today.

Andy Frisella (4:54)

All right, let's do it.

DJ or Co-host (4:55)

Shall we, guys? I got three good ones. Let's dive into these, guys. Any question? Number one. Hey, Andy. Andy. I'm 32. I've got a decent job, a family that depends on me, and on paper, I should be grateful, but I feel behind and frustrated all the time. I'm disciplined for a few weeks, then I fall off and hate myself for it. How do you stop the cycle of starting strong and then disappearing on yourself?

Andy Frisella (5:27)

Oof, man. You know, that's something I think most people struggle with. That's actually one of the biggest reasons that we started developing the operator standard, which it doesn't really do anybody any good right now because it's closed for quite some time. It's going to be invite only when we open it back up, but that won't be for a while. But that. That system actually does what we're talking about here. But the reality is it comes down to awareness. Okay? We all struggle with this. We all know what that's like. We've all been disciplined at certain points. We've all been undisciplined. And those Es and flows are consistent amongst everybody across, you know, whoever is trying to practice discipline. And that's why discipline is hard. That's why it is. It is something that most people struggle with. And the biggest thing that you have to really understand is to become aware when you start to slip. Okay? Like, right when you start to slip, you have to be able to identify it. And when we think about, like, 75, hard and live hard, that is one of the skills that it tunes up anybody who's been doing it or done it or live that lifestyle. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Okay. When you first start off, you know, it's a little bit of work. It gets a little bit harder. It gets a little bit harder. Then it starts to feel easy once you catch momentum. And then at a certain point in the program, it gets hard again because it becomes very monotonous. And this is a reflection of how Life sort of hits us with these little, I guess, sneak ups of us being lazy. And how it starts is that when things are going well, they're going well, and then they tend to get harder again and we start to slip. All right? And so what you have to do is to start becoming aware not only when you start to slip, but what causes you to slip. Okay? Like, what is it?

DJ or Co-host (7:21)

Where are you at? Who you with? Yeah, yeah.

Andy Frisella (7:24)

What is it you're struggling with? What starts it? Is it. Is it food? Is it a night out with the homies? Is it. You miss a couple workouts, all of those things, even though it might seem like nothing, that's where the slip starts. And so this idea that you can just become disciplined and you're going to stay disciplined your entire life is not real. For most people, discipline is a perishable skill, and it's totally normal to go in and out. And that's why we have to be aware that it's. That it's a perishable skill so that we can recognize when it starts to happen and keep the slide from going any further immediately. All right? And when we think about, like, what people mostly think about discipline, most people think discipline is something that they're born with or something that they can create but then will stick. And neither one of those things is true. Okay? Discipline comes from the repetitive action of holding a standard that is high and that retrains your brain to acknowledge when things are hard for you to push through them anyway. And that that's just not a natural thing for people to be aware of based upon, you know, how we're taught about discipline and what most people think it is. Like I said, you know, people think that, you know, you're either born with it or you're not. I thought that for a long time. Or that once you have it, it stays. And those things are not true. You have to practice it every single day. And one of the things that you can do to reframe this slip from happening is that you could start to understand the reality of how discipline is built. Okay? Everything matters, Every little thing. When you see something that needs to be addressed or something that's inconvenient or something that you know, you know needs to be done, and then you walk past it without addressing it, you're taking away. You're making a withdrawal from your discipline skill set every single time. That could be something simple, that could be seeing a shopping cart in the parking lot rolling around, and you recognize it as, that's not good. But you know, that's not my. I don't need to handle that. Right? That takes away from your own discipline, as silly as that sounds. You know, for a lot of you guys out there, it could be something that is as simple as not replacing the toilet paper whenever the toilet paper rolls empty, okay? These are like little bitty things that nobody thinks about when they think about discipline. And when you don't really understand the dynamic of it being an account that you put deposits in or take withdrawals out of, it becomes where people can't really recognize where these slides start to start to happen. So, like, when you truly understand what discipline is all about, when truly understand that the smallest things can cause you to slide back to who you were before, you start to value that momentum and that discipline a little bit differently, and you start to recognize when things need to be addressed, that when you don't handle them, you're walking away and you're like, that just cost me. Right? So I think a lot of it is just awareness about how it works, how you put deposits in, how you make withdrawals out. And just like a bank account, dude, you're going to want to deposit way more than you withdraw, otherwise you're going to end up with a negative balance, which is what puts people in this place of frustration, doubt, misery, you know, looking in the mirror, hating their life, feeling frustrated about where they're at. When you just start to really understand it, it really brings a. A new perspective to the little things that help keep this discipline tuned up high, right? People a lot of times, they think, you know, I'm going to be disciplined. I'm gonna go out and run 100 miles. That's not how that works, dude. It is little things compounded over time that, you know, need to be done, and doing them. It's not just keeping promises to yourself, which is what everybody likes to say. It's about identifying how it actually works and then operating within those rules. And most people just overlook it. And that's why they find themselves sometimes at a very high place and then a very low place. But I could tell you, as someone who, you know, has developed a very, very strong bank account with discipline. Before I really understood that, I was in the same boat as this person was. I would get. Get good, get bad, get good, get bad. Things would go well, then they would go bad. And I kind of thought it was just like, up to the universe. Like, things are going well now, Things are going bad now. I've got momentum now. Oh, I don't have momentum. When you start to realize that you're in control of all of that, the game changes. And, and honestly, this is why the book is such a good resource, the book on mental toughness, because it really explains this in depth to the. To the other point that he made about always feeling behind. Look, dude, ambitious people are going to always feel behind. They're going to always feel like they're struggling. They're going to always feel like they're not doing enough. We, as ambitious people don't have the luxury of being able to coast and be happy with ourselves. No matter how much money you've got, no matter how good of shape you're in, no matter what you're working on or what impact you're making, if you're an ambitious person, you're going to always feel like you're not doing enough. But that's a hell of a lot better place to be than the someone who thinks, oh, I'm doing everything I can, really, they're not doing okay. So one person has unsatisfaction with their life, justifiably so, because their life looks like a shit show. And the other person might have a much better existence, but they understand, I can do more, I can be better, I can always improve. And that creates this feeling of uncomfortableness even when you're winning. But the key thing to understand here is that that's a good thing. People need. We need people like that. We need people who are never satisfied. We need people who are always driven. We need people who are never going to say, oh, well, this is good enough. Because the reality is that good enough mentality is what put this country in the shitty position that it's in currently. So if you're really serious about changing yourself and you're really serious about impacting people, and you're really serious about fixing what's going on in the world, you have to understand that you play an important role in that. And that's a burden that you have to carry. And part of it is going to be always feeling like there's more to do. And that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. That means there's something right with you.

DJ or Co-host (13:57)

Yeah. I think in this case, though, I mean, it's fair to say that, like, I mean, if you're feeling like you're behind, it's probably because you know you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, correct?

Andy Frisella (14:04)

Well, yeah, I mean, that's a red.

DJ or Co-host (14:05)

Flag popping up in your head.

Andy Frisella (14:06)

Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (14:07)

You're ignoring.

Andy Frisella (14:08)

Well, yeah, for sure, dude. I mean, that's, that's part of it too, you know, when you're not doing enough. For real? Yeah. You're, you're gonna fucking know it. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So, like, there's that too, right? Like, I assume that people that listen to this show are ambit people and that's why they listen. But yeah, I mean, dude, if your life's shitty and you're, you're out of shape and your bank account sucks and you're not doing what you need, you should, you're going to feel like, you're going to feel anxious, you're going to feel like something's not right, you're going to feel frustrated, you're going to feel, you know, like, like dog man. And that's the important point that you need to recognize is that because of the way that you're wired and the way that you think if you're not constantly progressing, you're going to always feel like, so maybe 10 times are you, that's right. Are you going to feel like because you're having to work a little harder or are you going to feel like because you're not doing anything right? And the, the funny thing is is it's almost like a paradox. And people who live the 75 hard and live hard lifestyle know this. When you're doing more work, you feel better. Because at the end of the day, you could look yourself in the face and say, bro, I did everything I could do today. And then you get to do it again tomorrow. And then when you wake up the next day, tomorrow, you're not like as anxious or as frustrated because you can look back on even just one day and say, okay, well, I've got some momentum rolling, even if the fruit's not there yet. Right? And so what can happen is over the course of, you know, 30, 40 days of, you know, pushing and winning days and making sure that you're doing what you should do, that momentum starts to catch and you start to feel really good because you know you're doing everything you could be doing. If you know that you're doing everything you could be doing. There's really nothing else you could have done in a 24 hour period. How can you feel frustrated, right? You can't. You're going to feel peaceful, you're going to have low anxiety, you're going to have high confidence. And these are things that, you know, all the gurus out there, they try to preach this balance and you know, oh, you deserve some time, bro. The reason you feel like is because you've, you think you deserve time off. You've been taking time off your whole life, which is why your fucking life looks like a dumpster fire. Okay? So when you hear all these people who are saying nice platitudes on the fucking Internet, realize that they're doing that for likes shares, comments from victim minded people who want an excuse for why they don't have to get up and do what the fuck they're supposed to do. They're enabling low performance, they're enabling lack of confidence, they're enabling lack of discipline. And these people who that appeals to, all they're doing is looking for an excuse to not do it. And unfortunately we live in a culture that is full of fucking victim mentality. And that is most people's default right now. And that's why the culture has to change. So, you know, when you see all this stuff online, you got to understand this stuff's not for you, dude. This is for people that are still living in the victim mentality and have no intention of changing it at all. But here's the thing, those people are going to continue to be miserable. They're going to continue to be anxious, they're going to continue to feel like. And no amount of affirmations or breaks or rest or mental health days is going to fix it. And so it's no different than like a few years ago when everybody was talking about body positivity and they're like, oh, I'm so fat and I love it. But yet here we are three years later and they, they came out with Ozempic and now they've lost, you know, 100, 200 pounds and they're, you know, and it's like, oh, I thought, I thought you love that.

DJ or Co-host (17:45)

That's right.

Andy Frisella (17:46)

I thought that was what that was about. Right? So it's exposing the lie, okay? And I've been fat, I know what the fuck it's like. And no matter how hard you try, no matter, you know, what you tell yourself, you know it's bullshit. Which even makes it makes you feel worse because you know you're lying to yourself and to justify your lack of action that you know you should do. So it's not even a, it doesn't serve people in any way. And we, unfortunately, we live in this world where, you know, we have predatory therapy. I'm not saying all therapy is bad, but like, not everybody needs therapy, bro. And we have a bunch of predatory therapists who convince people they're broken who, who, you know, play to the Victim mentality. Collect money off of it. And I have to ask you this. What interests do they have in solving your problems if you're going to pay them more money while you're still broken? You got to use your fucking brain, bro. You're being played. You're not being told the truth. You're being told what you want to hear in the moment, which makes you feel good for five fucking seconds until you go home and have to look yourself in the eye and you know it's still fucked up. Okay? So until you address this for real, it doesn't matter what book you read. It doesn't matter what mastermind you go to. It doesn't matter what therapy you use or what retreat you go to. Like, it doesn't matter, bro. You know what the fucking problem is. And until you address it, you're going to feel like no matter what anybody else says to you.

DJ or Co-host (19:13)

Yeah, so I want to hit because, you know, you brought up this awareness piece, which I think ties into this, like, really importantly here, you know, you. Your whole mindset is just win the day.

Andy Frisella (19:25)

Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (19:26)

Right. And, you know, especially in the season.

Andy Frisella (19:28)

That'S on my mindset. That's reality.

DJ or Co-host (19:30)

That's how it works.

Andy Frisella (19:31)

That's how it works. It's not. Yes, I'm the first motherfucker that's been talking about this for the last 20 years, okay? But that's the rules of the game. It's not, what, a week or a month or a year or five years. It's fucking today, bro. And if you win today, you're winning the game. When you win the next day, that's the game one again. And then you stack those wins over the course of time, which creates the external outcome that you're looking for, but the internal outcome materializes way before that.

DJ or Co-host (20:04)

So, you know, it's a very important mindset.

Andy Frisella (20:07)

Yeah. And it's. Listen, dude, this is how you win. And there isn't a fucking other way to win. It's this way. If you're not winning your fucking days over the course of time, how can you win? You can't. Yeah, so that's not my theory. It's just how it fucking works.

DJ or Co-host (20:20)

It's law, dude. But, but on. On that, though, like, you know, I've. I've been on a transformation journey, if you will. Right. And because of the season we're in, we got Christmas coming up. I know a lot of people are getting ready for those New Year's resolutions and shit.

Andy Frisella (20:34)

Right.

DJ or Co-host (20:35)

Speak to the person who's hearing this Right now. Like, damn. Okay. Yes.

Andy Frisella (20:39)

All right.

DJ or Co-host (20:40)

I gotta get to it. I'm about to get to it. Okay, cool. When are my days? I know for me, for sure, there were days, dude, where, like, I just had to win the fucking hour.

Andy Frisella (20:48)

Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (20:48)

You know what I'm saying? Let's tie awareness into this, because sometimes it's gonna be like that.

Andy Frisella (20:54)

Well, that's where we talk about, like, production pivots.

DJ or Co-host (20:56)

Yeah.

Andy Frisella (20:57)

Okay. A production pivot is when your voice, the voice that talks you out of all the, you know, you're supposed to do for what they want to do right now. Yeah. You have to become aware of that. And when you start to become aware of that voice telling you these things, what you do and how you beat it, is that whatever the. It's telling you to do, you know, you go, you, I just traveled for three days and I'm a little tired and I don't feel like doing my workout. When you hear that, you go work out, right then immediately. It doesn't matter if it's 10 o' clock at night, because every time you act in opposition of that voice, you are shrinking its power over you. Every single time. That's what we're talking about, bro. When you walk past a shopping cart and you say, oh, well, that's an right, right? No, you're the right because you left it there. Okay? So when you start to realize that this is about every single conversation that happens in your brain and you become aware of that, then it's very easy to squash it with direct action and opposition immediately. All right? So, yeah, sometimes it is going to be. You're fighting for the hour. And if you're going to win days, bro, sometimes you're going to have to fight. Sometimes it's going to be really hard. Sometimes you're going to feel like the exact opposite of what needs to be done, and you got to do it anyway. Otherwise it's going to cost you way more than the. The temporary discomfort that's going to cost you. Like, dude, you guys all know what this is like, you know, you have a conversation that you've been putting off, but then you have it and you feel better. Okay? You don't want to work out. It's the last thing you want to do, but then you go do it and you're like, fuck, dude, I had a. I'm glad I did that. Everybody knows this, but they don't label it in their mind or become aware of it. Right? They. They never really dig in and say, okay, what's. How Do I get past this voice in my head that sounds like a lazy, fat, disgusting piece of fucking shit that doesn't do anything and always telling me to take it easy? How do I get past that? You do the fucking opposite, bro. Okay? Like if you have a leader and your leader is always saying, do this, do this, do this, and you start doing the opposite, okay? You're telling the leader, that motherfucker ain't gonna listen to me. It's no different with your fucking, your voice in your head. Yeah, okay? And after a while, you know, in the job market you're fired, but, but the reality is, is in your brain. After a while, your bitch voice learns this and says, motherfucker not going to listen to me. So I'm not gonna say anything.

DJ or Co-host (23:39)

Me just keep my ass quiet.

Andy Frisella (23:40)

Exactly.

DJ or Co-host (23:41)

I love it, dude. I love it, man. Speaking of ambitious people, let's get to question number two. Andy, I love you, dude.

Andy Frisella (23:50)

Oh, thank you.

DJ or Co-host (23:51)

Seriously.

Andy Frisella (23:52)

That's what he says.

DJ or Co-host (23:53)

Andy, I've been head down working for the last five years, grinding. I keep chasing the next goal, thinking I finally feel proud or content, but every time I hit it, I move the finish line and I feel empty again. Is that just how driven people are wired? Or am I missing something bigger here in life?

Andy Frisella (24:14)

Well, look, if you get to a point where you're not acknowledging the progress that you've made at all, you are always going to feel that way. If you get to the point where you hang on to that you've done and you over celebrate and you think it's a big deal, you're going to lose, okay? So you have to find a middle ground of being able to acknowledge and be grateful for what you've accomplished and what you've done and where you're at, but also understand that there's a lot more to do and neither one of those extremes is good for you, okay? Like if you can never ever recognize that you've done anything, you're going to feel like you're spinning your wheels even if your whole world is materialized around you. This has happened to me a number of times where like everybody from the outside looks and they're so fuck, dude, it's amazing everything you've done. And I'm like, brian, fucking no shit. Okay? But that's because my vision is so big in my head and if I catch myself not being grateful for it, then I really feel like shit, right? So when you start to feel, you know, you know, you're doing everything, you're producing results, you're Producing the outcome. You're. You're meeting your goals. You're. You're exceeding your goals. You're resetting the bar. If you don't stop and say, okay, we're doing something here. I'm grateful for that. You're gonna feel like, okay, but most people aren't that way. Most people go the other way. Most people live in the land of what the they used to be, okay? And let me tell you something, bro, nobody gives a what you used to be. They don't care. They don't care that you won the MVP in high school. They don't care that you went out with the prom queen. They don't care that you got a great job right out of college and 10 years later you're still working at the same. They don't care. The world only cares about what the you were doing now. That is it. That is it. They don't care about what you're gonna do, and they don't care about what you did. They care what you're doing now. And so that is something that we can take from the world and sort of apply to ourselves as truth. Because, dude, it is true. You shouldn't be hanging on to these old wins. Yeah. You could acknowledge them. And you know when you're having a beer with your buddies, be like, hey man, remember that time I ran for 200 yards? You know what I'm saying? You could talk about it, but you're not walking around in your football outfit talking about 1987 when you were a stud.

DJ or Co-host (26:30)

Yeah. Still falling.

Andy Frisella (26:32)

Yeah. You're not a stud anymore. You're a. Has been. Okay. It's like that dude, that, that, that. Remember that guy that emailed in a while back and he was like, I'm 57 and I'm 38 and I'm 350 pounds and I can still run with all the young guys. I'm like, dude, the fuck myth are you living in? You can't. Yeah. Like, and, and that's where most people live. So most people live there. They live in the past, they don't live in the future.

DJ or Co-host (26:59)

Yeah. So, but if you other people like, oh, I'm doing. I'm going to do all of this. I'm do all this, but never. They're not doing anything.

Andy Frisella (27:04)

Well, yeah, of course, but the point is, is like if you're the other kind of person who says all this shit they're going to do, and then you've also backed it up with really good results to this point, but you don't acknowledge what you've done, you're going to feel really bad too. The only difference is you're going to have a bunch of, you're probably going to have a lot of money and you're probably going to have a really cool life. But what, what uses a really cool life if you can't be grateful for what the you did, you know, so there's a balance there. You don't want to over celebrate, but you also don't want to, I guess, minimize what it is that you've been able to do. You've got to find a good place of gratitude with a big purpose and you have to act with discipline. Which by the way we talk about all this time is the equation of being an actual happy human on a day by day basis.

DJ or Co-host (27:46)

Right?

Andy Frisella (27:46)

Right. People think that happiness is some destination place they're going to get to. When in reality it's a way that you feel and that you try to replicate over and over and over again in your life. There is no happy land, bro. You know, when you get here you're going to be happy or when you get there you're going to be happy or you get over here, you're going to be happy. No. Did you do your today? Were you grateful for today? Did you exercise discipline today? Did you work towards your purpose today? And if you did all of those things, you're going to feel good, you're going to be happy and that happiness will come and then it will go. And then tomorrow when the new game starts, you get to start over again. Okay? And that's how happiness actually works. But you know, nobody teaches that because when you could tell someone, hey, eventually this, eventually that we're going to get you to. Here, just pay me some more money. Yeah, you know, like happiness is coming, I promise. Like bro, the reality is, is most of these are just, they're, they're cult leaders, okay? And it's funny because people always say things to me, they're like, oh, you're over there running a cult. Actually, no, because cults centralize power around the leader. Meaning if you have one of these predatory therapists, the predatory therapist will convince you that they're the only ones with the solution. And then you got to pay them money to get the thing. The opposite of that is decentralizing power. It's teaching everybody to be self sufficient. It's giving them their own leadership skills. It's pushing them to stand up for themselves and lead their families and their friends. That's what the I do, okay? Most of these out here in the world, it's all about money. They don't intend to fix anything. They don't intend to do anything positive except convince people that they need them to feel better, and it's just not true.

DJ or Co-host (29:30)

Yeah, Andy, I want to. I want to zoom in on these. On. On. On a piece of this question, specifically on moving the goal post, right? You know, he says he keeps chasing the next goal. Once he gets there, he already moves the next finish line.

Andy Frisella (29:43)

Yeah.

DJ or Co-host (29:44)

Is that. Is that the right way to do it?

Andy Frisella (29:46)

If you want to win.

DJ or Co-host (29:47)

Okay, let's talk about it.

Andy Frisella (29:49)

If you want to win. Okay, we just talk about two groups of people, right? Okay, one group of people. The people who don't do shit. They'll set a goal. They won't ever even hit the goal. They'll get 60% of the goal, and then they'll pretend they hit the goal or they'll see the goal and it's within. It's within range and they'll stop because it's now it's within range. They don't follow through. Winners do a completely different version of that. They get to 80%, they realize they're going to hit the goal, and then they set the bar further out, and then they fucking rush through the goal with ever acknowledging that. Without ever acknowledging that they passed it.

DJ or Co-host (30:25)

Got it?

Andy Frisella (30:25)

Okay. So, you know, you certainly want to be in that group more than you would want to be in the other group, all right? And that's normal for ambitious people. Every winner I've ever met, every champion, every billionaire, every person I've ever known that's created massive amounts of success in their life, they. They operate the way I'm talking about and the way this man's talking about. You're get. They get to 80, 90% of the goal. They say, okay, I'm gonna hit this. I'm going to keep moving to go to this. And that's the way champions think, dude. Every champion that's ever existed in the history of humanity operates on the idea of resetting the bar over and over and over and over again. And that's how you end up with these exceptional individuals. Because every time they reset the bar, what the bar becomes is actually their new minimum. All right? So that's their operating homeostasis. That is. That is where they live, okay? And if you're the person who gets 60% to your goal and never hit it, you're going to end up back where you were, and that's where you live. All right? So it's just a matter of what sort of discomfort would you like to deal with? Would you like to deal with the discomfort of never achieving anything, being totally unhealthy, being broke, being dumb, being a fucking human drain on society and then feeling mad about it and it being difficult, you not being able to go to dinners, you're not being able to drive the car you want to buy the house you want or take care of the family the way you want. That's, that's uncomfortable. Or you could deal with the uncomfortableness of I'm going to reset the bar over and over and over again and I'm going to win and you know, I'm going to live that way. That's, that's the two options, dude. And the second option, while it may feel more difficult, it's actually far less difficult than living like the other guy. So there's going to be uncomfortable feelings on either way. It's just choosing which way that you want it to be. And if you're a champion, if you're, if you're going to be a great creator, builder, becomeer of greatness, you're. How he's operating is the way that people do it, okay? And yes, there's some emptiness that comes with that, but only when you're not able to acknowledge how far you've come. And so what we're talking about for this gentleman is, hey, dude, you just got to tweak your gratitude up a little bit. That's the bottom line. Like, if you want to answer this question, you want to feel better, tweak your gratitude up a little bit. Work that into your daily routine. At the end of your day, be grateful. At the beginning of your day, be grateful. You know, when you fucking step out of bed, bro, it shouldn't be like, oh man, another day of getting my ass kicked. It should be, I'm the baddest motherfucker alive, bro, and whatever comes my way, I'm a fucking handle it. That's the first thought that should come out of your head. And by the way, the first day you do it, you're going to not even believe it yourself. But after a month or after two months of doing that every day, you're going to be surprised at how much fun you're having kicking the, out of everything. And then, you know, bring that back to what we talked about on the 24 hour scale. A lot of people never feel, never feel like they did anything because they, they don't, they don't define the outcome, okay? They define the outcome. Like we said, this magical place, I'm going to eventually get to that. You know, I'm going to do this and this and this, and then I get here, I'm going to get this, I'm going to get that, I'm going to be there. There is no there, there's only now. Okay? So if you define the win as, did you win the 24 hours? You can win every single day. And I don't mean that from, I won my day, I won my day. I mean from a feeling of being a winner, you're gonna feel like a winner. Okay? And this is why, I mean, this is a not. It's. It's a piece of what the operator standard is doing for people. But yeah, you have to define the outcome that you're looking for, the big picture outcome. You have to break it down in a critical task that you would execute on a daily basis. And you have to define the WINS On a 24 hour basis because those are only wins that fucking matter, bro. Like, and the reason most people can't do that 24 hours is because they do this shit. In a year from now, I'm going to be here. And then they're like, okay, a week goes by, right? And they're like, okay, well, I still got time. And then another week goes by. They're all, I got time, I'll hit it extra hard, hard. And then 40 weeks go by and they're like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna starve myself, right? And it becomes this negotiation and you're gonna feel like the entire time because, you know, no matter what you say, no matter how much you try to justify, no matter what story you tell, you know, you're full of. And how do you feel about your people that you know that are full of with everything that they say to you, you. We all have one. We all have somebody we know who comes and tells us all the time about all this they're gonna do and they never do it. How do you feel about that person? You're like, dude, that guy's a bullshitter. He ain't doing none of that shit. Your brain knows that you know that you know when you're full of shit. And if you try, it doesn't matter how you pretend on an external basis, you know, which is why you can't justify your way out of, out of it. And you're going to feel like shit. This is why, like I said, Lizzo, who, you know was £5,000 and who's now, you know, down to a respectable weight. Now. She's happy about it. Okay, good for her. I'm proud of her. It's a great thing. But what I don't like is how she tried to convince the whole motherfucking world that, you know, it's cool being fat. It ain't cool being fat, okay? Your life's not going to be as good. You're not going to make as much money, you're going to be unhealthy. You're letting your family down. You're like, there's. There's all these other things that come with it that people never consider. And by the way, did we not all know that was bullshit? Right? Right? Like, did anybody ever really believe that someone is. Oh, they're so happy with their body? I'm not saying that you got to be perfect. I'm not saying that you got to have a six pack. I'm not saying that you got to be ripped. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is where the pride comes from, where the wind comes from, is knowing that you've done everything that you can do, and the result is what it is. Some people are going to have better genetics. Some people are going to have better connections. Some people are going to have a special knowledge. Some people are going to have a special skill. But most people can find. All people can find massive levels of improvement in their lives. So we're not talking about perfection here. We're talking about what you know to be true in your brain. And if you're doing everything you can, it's literally impossible to feel anxious about it. Yeah, you can't feel it, dude. Every single listens. I challenge you, dude. Do everything you're supposed to do today. You're supposed to work out. Work out. You're supposed to do cardio. Do cardio. You're supposed to eat healthy. Eat healthy. Supposed to drink a gallon of water. Drink a gallon of water. You're supposed to have this conversation. Do that. At the end of the day, if you could tell me that you still feel anxiety and doubt and feel like shit, you're lying.

DJ or Co-host (37:17)

Yeah.

Andy Frisella (37:18)

Because it's impossible. You can't feel bad when you know you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing. It's impossible. It's real, bro.

DJ or Co-host (37:25)

I love it, man. Guys, Andy, we got one more question for you. This is our third and final question. Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I started a business last year while working full time. I'm doing everything myself, working nights and weekends. But the money still isn't there yet. At what point do you know if you're being patient or if you're just lying to yourself and you should pivot to quit?

Andy Frisella (37:47)

Well, this goes back to the question we just answered. You've got to be very honest about the progress that you're making. Are you making some progress? Are things moving forward? Maybe you're not making the money that you need to make. Maybe you haven't made a single dollar yet, but are you having wins toward the outcome? And it's. It's awareness. The theme of this show is fucking awareness, okay? You have to understand and tell yourself the truth, okay? And, dude, like, this is real shit, because your business plan might be fucking terrible, all right? There's business plans that just ain't going to work. They're not going to work. They don't have enough margin. They. There could be a gazillion reasons. There's no interest. Just because you start a business doesn't mean the market's going to reward it. So you have to be able to be very honest with yourself, which hurts, right? Like, nobody wants to, like, be. Nobody wants to have an idea, admit to themselves that it sucks, and say, okay, I got to change this up. But it's necessary for building something that actually produces results. And so in this situation, you know, this is. This is. This is. I'll tell my story on this, okay? Like, look, the first day I was ever in business, I sold $7. Okay? The next day.

DJ or Co-host (39:04)

I'm not laughing at that.

Andy Frisella (39:05)

I'm sorry. No, it is what it is.

DJ or Co-host (39:07)

Yeah.

Andy Frisella (39:08)

Like, it's.

DJ or Co-host (39:08)

I can think how pumped you would be, though, and it's like, fuck, seven bucks.

Andy Frisella (39:11)

Okay? Well, the next day, I didn't sell anything back. Okay, You. What do you think I was thinking, right? Yeah. Okay. It took us eight months to have a day that we'd sold $200 on. All right? If you think that I was terrified and doubtful and scared and wondering if I was making the right call, you're damn fucking right, okay? Every motherfucking day. And I'm actually really grateful for that period of time because what it did was it made me hyper aware of the details and the indicators and to look at things and. And it almost made me crazy about it. Like, to the point where, you know, our own teams and the companies I'm involved in sort of hate me a little bit because I know, for real, dude. Because I will come in and say, bro, that ain't good enough. It's just not. So what it did was is it trained me to be hyper vigilant about the details, but also to be unemotional about the details. Okay? It either is or it isn't. It's either good or it's not. All right? I don't give a if it was my idea or your idea or Sal's idea or Dana White's idea. Like, and by the way, amongst all effective operators, they all operate this way. They don't look at it emotionally. Nobody says, oh, I got this great idea and I want it to work. They look at it and they say, all right, here's the feedback we got, here's what's happening. We haven't had any wins here. This isn't working, we've got to change it. But to the contrary of that, a lot of people will change things too often too quickly. Yeah, right? So what ends up happening is, and I've used this example a number of times on the show, they. It's like running a marathon, okay? You can never finish a marathon and get the reward of running a marathon if you start over every fucking seven miles, okay? Or you get 15 and you say, oh fuck, I could have done it better. Let me start over. Right? You have to be very honest about how much progress you're making. Is what you're doing viable? Will the market take it? Is there enough margin in it? What's the volume of which I have to sell to make it worth my. These are all real data analysis metrics that you have to look into to separate emotion from your quote unquote idea. Ideas don't mean bro. In fact, if you want to watch how this works, there's a really good documentary on Enron on Netflix right now that explains this. The reason they failed is because they thought that ideas won. Ideas don't win. Actions win, okay? Reality wins, sales win. Mar. Margins win, market, adoption wins. These are real things that you have to pay attention to. So when you're starting out, it can be very difficult to do that because one, you lack experience. You don't know, okay? Two, you're emotionally attached. You want it to you. You've already built the story in your head of what life's going to be like when you get there, right? So you're very emotional about it.

DJ or Co-host (42:06)

You already told your friends and families what you're doing.

Andy Frisella (42:08)

Yeah, but dude, listen, you should be emotional about where you're going, but you shouldn't be emotional about how the you get there, okay? So yes, I want this life. Yes, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get there? Yes, I'm going to. I'll. I'll eat dog, I'll sleep on the floor. I'll take no pay for 10 years, okay? Whatever the fuck it takes, I'm gonna get there. But you have to be unemotional about the engine that's getting you there. Because sometimes you got a bad engine, sometimes it's not gonna have the horsepower to get you there, okay? So when we, when we talk to someone, you know who's in this situation, you've got to understand that aspect, but you've also have to under. Understand the aspect of time, okay? Not. Yes, not everything will work. But if the indicators are right and you're moving the right direction and you're paying attention and you're having little wins and things are indicating, okay, people do like this. I'm not talking about your friends and family either. All your friends and family will tell you bullshit. Can't listen to them. Yeah, if you know them, can't listen to them. Doesn't matter if you knew them from 20 years ago or five minutes ago or they're your dad or your mom. Cannot listen to them, bro. They will tell you bullshit, okay? And they will tell you bullshit both ways. Because some of those people don't want you to win, okay? So they'll talk you out of something. Some of those people want you to win and feel good right now, but they're reinforcing something that's not going to work, okay? So you have to fucking not listen to anyone but the actual consumer that you were unaffiliated with that know that is like legitimately either buying the product or not. And when you're first starting out, what ends up happening is people don't pay attention to those metrics. And because like this guy says, I'm not making any money, things aren't happening. They'll switch from thing to thing to thing to thing. You know, they'll go one year down the road and be like, this isn't working. They'll go two years down the road, they'll be like, this doesn't work. I'm gonna try something else. And then that doesn't work for two years, and then they try something else and then that doesn't work for two years and then they try something else. And before they know it, they're 50 years old and nothing's worked and they think it's them, when in reality they just didn't let the fucking cake bake, okay? You have to understand that time is a real component to success for Very practical reasons. One, and the main one is that word of mouth takes time. Now we live in a great society where word of mouth can spread instantly, but it still takes time. We are very fortunate to live in this time because, like, when I grew my first business, something with superstores, that shit didn't exist. But so I had to create a good experience, have someone go out to, you know, their Friday night party or whatever, right? And hope that they have a conversation that comes up and where I get a good story and they. They recommend somebody. That's not the case anymore. You can get that instantly. So we could speed this process up tremendously.

DJ or Co-host (45:03)

But a year still in it.

Andy Frisella (45:04)

No, it. Dude, you can't do anything in a year. Yeah, bro, you, you, you, you. It takes longer to take a. Okay, like, like, dude, a year is nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing but seven years of the same thing not producing a result, now we have. That's not good either. Okay? So you have to pay attention. You have to understand that things take time. What if I had quit? What if I quit three years in when I still hadn't made a dollar?

DJ or Co-host (45:29)

Fuck.

Andy Frisella (45:30)

Okay, No, I want to think. I want you to really think about the impact, not just my personal success, the impact. What. What would have not happened had I quit. You see what I'm saying?

DJ or Co-host (45:42)

Yeah, bro. You definitely wouldn't be listening to the show right now.

Andy Frisella (45:45)

You wouldn't be listening to the show live. Hard 75 hard never been created. MSCO never created. Real AF never created. You know, companies that employ thousands of people, never created. I mean, dude, none of this would exist if I would have quit after three years when I wasn't getting paid. So. And. And fortunately for me, there was times where I wanted to quit that my situation didn't allow me to quit because I didn't have any other options. So that gets into another principle. You know, zero option mentality. In the beginning, you may not have any other options. You may not have something to fall back on. That's a blessing. All right? But as you become more and more successful and more and more comfortable, it becomes a game mentally, that you have to trick yourself that you don't have another option. Like to this day, to this day. And people laugh when I say this, but I fudgeing truly believe it. And what taught me this was my first 10 years where I had to fucking just grind it the fuck out. I will tell people, I say, you've heard me say this number of times. I'm like, bro, I don't have a choice. Like, if this doesn't work, I'll be digging ditches. I don't have any other skills.

DJ or Co-host (46:46)

And you truly believe that?

Andy Frisella (46:47)

Yeah, well, yes, I do.

DJ or Co-host (46:50)

I feel like you do.

Andy Frisella (46:50)

But I figure it out, right? Like, I've developed some other skills now. Like, I'm pretty damn good public speaker, you know, I could fucking figure out something else. But the point is, is that in my heart and in my mind, this has to work, okay? And now it has to work because I got all these people relying on me, dude. I got thousands of people on my back every day. If I don't win, bro, they lose, too. So that is zero options, right? So the zero option mentality evolves from you to the responsibilities that you carry. And you have to keep that pressure on yourself to make sure that you don't get too comfortable to flake the out and lose your. So. So, yeah, dude, it's a. It's a. It's a learning curve. And everybody who starts out, they always start out, you know, feeling like this guy does. But the reality is, dude, I, you know, if you got a good plan, you probably. I'm assuming he has a good plan, okay? He probably just hasn't had enough time for the cake to bake. All right? And by the way, when I say there's businesses that won't work, most businesses can be made to work with just a few adjustments, all right? But if, like, you come out with, like, a widget that nobody fucking needs or wants, it doesn't matter how much you market. It doesn't matter. You know, like, it just doesn't matter.

DJ or Co-host (48:03)

Yeah.

Andy Frisella (48:04)

So check the metrics, pay attention, be aware.

DJ or Co-host (48:07)

Check your time, right?

Andy Frisella (48:08)

And make sure that you understand that, like, bro, you'll never get there by starting over every single time. You know, oh, I ran that eight miles, but I ran it this way. I'm going to try run it this way. No, dude, you just keep fucking going. Adjust your. Adjust the way you're running right on the spot and keep moving, you know? So those are the pitfalls of both sides of that equation. And again, you know, it's nuanced. You want to know where the fuck you are. You want to know if it's going to work. Be conscious of the time. Ask yourself, will this work in three more years or will this work in two more years? And be honest, all right? Can you see it working? Do you know how to make it work? Will it work when it's ideal? These are real things that you have to think about. And, you know, we get on the Internet and we look around and everybody's like, oh, yeah. Just, you know, you're gonna make your dreams come true selling, you know, toothpicks for your ear. No, that doesn't. That's not something that somebody needs. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but came up with the Q tip for the ear.

DJ or Co-host (49:05)

Right?

Andy Frisella (49:06)

And then that worked.

DJ or Co-host (49:07)

Yeah.

Andy Frisella (49:07)

Okay. What's the difference between a Q tip and a toothpick? Cotton. Not very much. That's right. All right. I know you try to make a joke there, but. But the point is, is that that's a slight evolution that makes a massive difference. You see what I mean?

DJ or Co-host (49:22)

Absolutely, dude. I love it, man. I love it. Guys. Andy, that was three.

Andy Frisella (49:25)

Yep.

DJ or Co-host (49:26)

Way to start a Monday, bro.

Andy Frisella (49:27)

All right, guys, don't forget, we got CTI live tonight at 7 Central. Join us. We're going to talk about all the wonderful, amazing things that are going on right now in the world, and then we're going to make fun of them.

DJ or Co-host (49:38)

It's gonna be fun.

Andy Frisella (49:39)

Yeah. All right, so come see us. 7pm don't be a hoe Share the.

Unknown Rapper (49:43)

Show yeah Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze Fuck up, bow fuck a stove Counted millions in a cold Bad bitch booted swole Got her own bank row can't fold Just a no head shot case Close.