996. Q&AF Ft. Tim Grover: Success After Failures, Handling The Pressure Of Winning & "Working Hard" Vs Results

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Episode: 996 – Q&AF Ft. Tim Grover: Success After Failures, Handling The Pressure Of Winning & "Working Hard" Vs Results
Date: February 2, 2026
Host: Andy Frisella | Guest: Tim Grover | Co-host: DJ
Format: Listener Q&A on lessons from failure, responding to pressure, and distinguishing hard work from effective results.

---

Episode Overview

This episode brings together Andy Frisella and legendary coach Tim Grover for a candid, high-energy Q&A about the realities of success and the myths surrounding hard work. Listeners submit questions and the hosts deliver unfiltered advice rooted in personal experience, sports analogies, and tough love. Topics include embracing failure, coping with high expectations, and the critical difference between "working hard" and "working effectively." The vibe is practical, motivational, and a bit raw – with both Andy and Tim sharing war stories and actionable insights for listeners who want to level up.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Success Through Failure & The Value of Early Setbacks

Listener Q1: "I’m 21 and just failed my first business. Any advice for someone determined to be a millionaire by 25?"

• Andy:
  • Early failure is a blessing: "To have started and failed a business at 21 is probably the best thing you could have going for you." (06:29)
  • The value in failure is the lesson, not the loss.
  • Detach your identity from short-term wins or losses; focus on the process and continual improvement.
  • Most so-called "overnight successes" have a hidden history of setbacks, pivots, and lost games.
  • Quote: "Most people will identify a big loss as a defining moment... but every great person I’ve met defines their losses as just part of the journey." (08:33)
• Tim Grover:
  • Ditch the timeline: "The reason a lot of people fail is they put a timeline on it... throw that number out." (09:39)
  • Learn, adapt, and change – especially after failure. Don't repeat the same mistakes or keep the same partners if they contributed to your loss.
  • Quote: "Failure is a learning process... there has to be adjustments." (10:15)
• On winning early as a curse:
  • Andy warns about the dangers of winning early and attaching your identity to first success – often prevents growth and resilience.
  • "People who fail the biggest in life are usually the people that won early." (13:41)
• Background influences:
  • Tim emphasizes reflecting on family attitudes toward winning/losing and recognizing their impact on your current approach. (15:40)

2. Handling the Pressure of Expectations

Listener Q2: "Now that I’m seen as ‘capable,’ I feel constant pressure to deliver. How do you deal with that?"

• Andy:
  • External pressure is a privilege: "Most people can’t put the expectation of winning on themselves... when everybody expects you to win, that pressure is automatic." (17:52)
  • Embrace it rather than run from it; it's a sign people believe in your potential.
  • Quote: “Nothing good ever comes without pressure." (18:02)
• Tim Grover:
  • "Pressure is a privilege, folks. Don’t run from it. You run towards it." (19:04)
  • Not all pressure is created equal – be sure it’s coming from people who deserve to apply it.
  • Real winners (athletes, business leaders) embrace and acclimate to pressure, building skill and confidence over time.
  • Anecdote: Michael Jordan trusted others with high-stakes moments because he’d observed their habits and performance under pressure for years. (20:40)
• Dealing with "pressure phobia":
  • The hosts lament today’s culture of comfort, pointing to examples like schools allowing recorded presentations (not live). "If you don’t deal with pressure, you’re going to lose." (23:22–23:28 Tim Grover)
  • Acclimation and seeking discomfort is key: Andy tells how deliberately making himself speak to strangers built transformational speaking skills over years (27:53).
  • Quote: “Nobody was willing to do that fucking work, bro. Like, I was terrified to talk to people in public.” (27:53)

3. "Working Hard" Versus Getting Results

Listener Q3: "I’ve been working hard for years but results aren’t coming. When should I change my approach?"

• Tim Grover:
  • "Everyone’s working hard. Working hard does not guarantee you results." (30:47)
  • Are you working hard on the right things? Have you developed the necessary skills? Are you moving the right levers for your goals?
  • Some paths have hard limits: Be honest with yourself about talent and innate potential.
  • Anecdote: Tim tells of realizing, after a crushing loss, that his own basketball career had a ceiling, which led him to pivot.
• Andy:
  • Hard work is the minimum bar to even participate – it’s not enough.
  • “It’s about working hard and working smart for a very long time.” (33:19)
  • Recounted needing a decade to make $100,000; long-term effort is reality, not a shortcut.
  • Assess progress honestly: Are you winning because you’re learning and improving, or just doggedly doing the same thing?
  • Quote: “You can work hard your entire life and still lose. That’s the thing. Working hard at the wrong thing guarantees a loss.” (31:19)
• On self-awareness and coaching yourself:
  • High achievers are brutally honest self-coaches, able to analyze failure without emotion, adjust, and move forward. (47:09)
  • Andy recounts his own youth sports losses and how his dad taught him to analyze mistakes rather than wallow or just celebrate wins.
• Talent vs Effort:
  • Both warn of the myth that talent is a promise; real greatness is hard-earned, with talent only a foundation.
  • Tim: “Talent is a gift, it’s not a promise, and people think it is.” (54:48)
  • Story of Jamarcus Russell (NFL) illustrates how over-reliance on talent, without discipline or learning, leads to failure (53:25).
  • Quote: “There’s nothing casual about winning, bro. Nothing.” (39:31 Andy)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Andy Frisella, on failure:

  “Most people will identify a big loss as a defining moment... but every great person I’ve met defines their losses as just part of the journey.” (08:33)

• Tim Grover, on pressure:

  “Pressure is a privilege, folk. Don’t run from it. You don’t run from pressure, you run towards it.” (19:04)

• Tim, on working hard:

  “Working hard does not guarantee you results. It just doesn’t. Are you working hard on the right things?” (30:47)

• Andy, on myth of talent:

  “There’s nothing casual about winning, bro. Nothing, nothing. People who win are obsessed with winning... If you think you can do half their work... that’s an ego problem with you.” (39:31)

• On acclimating to stress:

  “A lot of people think...that guy does really good under pressure. Except that guy doesn’t even feel the pressure...They’ve acclimated to it over and over and over.” (25:53 Andy)

• Tim Grover, on self-coaching among high achievers:

  “They can self…before I can point something wrong, they would already say, ‘I already know.’” (51:13)

• Andy, on honest path-selection:

  “If the winning that you’re after requires you to run a 4.2 40 and you’re 300 pounds, it ain’t happening.” (38:52)

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [05:26] – Q1: Advice after business failure at 21
• [09:13 - 17:20] – Learning from failure, importance of process, influence of upbringing
• [17:52] – Q2: Handling continuous pressure after “proving yourself”
• [19:04] – "Pressure is a Privilege" discussion
• [27:53] – Andy’s story of building confidence by talking to strangers
• [30:32] – Q3: "Working hard" but no results—what now?
• [33:19 - 41:38] – The limits of hustle, when to pivot, the real meaning of talent
• [47:09] – On self-awareness, self-coaching, analyzing losses
• [54:48] – Stories about talent, promise, and the downfall of prodigies
• [56:30] – Tim Grover on staying driven at 61, “seasoned not old,” pride in continual improvement

---

Tone & Takeaways

The episode is direct, tough-minded, and laced with humor and humility. Andy and Tim don’t sugarcoat the difficulties or pretend there's a hack. Real self-assessment, relentless effort, a willingness to do uncomfortable things, and constant skill development are non-negotiables for success. Talent can offer a head start, but it's the daily grind, emotional detachment from outcomes, and a ruthless willingness to analyze and adjust that separates winners from also-rans.

Listeners walk away with both a motivational charge and a sober reminder to evaluate their own approach—with no excuses.

---

For listeners short on time, tune in to the segments at 05:26, 17:52, and 30:32 for the most actionable discussion.

---

Transcript

[Unknown Rapper]

Yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze up Pole stove counted millions in a cold bad booty swole got her own bank roll can't fold just a no head shot.

[Andy Frisella]

Case cloak cloth what is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to reality, guys. Today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ is going to tell you how to submit your questions, guys.

[DJ]

You can email these questions in to ask andy4seller.com you can also click the link in the description below to submit them for a chance to be read or drop them in the comment section of the Q and A f episodes at any for seller motivation on YouTube.

[Andy Frisella]

Now, this is your first time listening. We have shows within the show. Tonight we're going to have CTI live at 7pm Central Time on YouTube and X formerly known as Twitter. Sometimes we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. And you get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 2.08 on the audio feed. There's also a book. The book is [e-mail] it's called the Book on Mental toughness. And I happen to have the guy who wrote the forward for the book sitting directly in front of me.

[DJ]

It ain't me.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it is not DJ. It's Mr. Tim Grover. What's happening, bro?

[Tim Grover]

Everything's excellent, brother. What an honor, man, to be able to do that forward for you, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

You have no idea. It's not your honor, it's mine.

[DJ]

What's the first thing you said when he asked you?

[Tim Grover]

Well, first thing that came to mind, of course. Yeah, of course. The only thing was a background story about that is my agent Sherry got a call saying, we listen, we need the forward. We need the forward, like right away. And she said she got in contact with me. We wrote the forum, we sent it to. Her book came out A year and a half later.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, yeah. Hey, it took us a minute. It took us a minute. But a lot of you guys don't know, but, you know, Tim has been one of the guiding, I guess, mentors in my life for a very long time. I was introduced to Tim through his book, Relentless. When I read that book, I was pretty sure that I was the only person like me on the planet. I was in a very dark space. I was like a lot of you guys, very ambitious, working very hard, and felt completely out of place. And I read that book, and I say this often, dude, I think it saved my life for sure. I know it did. And, you know, to have you write the forward of my book is just. I mean, bro, it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened in my life. So it was.

[Tim Grover]

It's an honor, man. You know how we. I feel about you and you, by the work that you've done, your history, what you've built, everything you as a person. So it wasn't even a. And we get asked all the time. I mean, I know how often I get asked. I don't even know how many times Sherry gets emailed about people asking us to do forwards and quotes for the book. And the answer is no.

[DJ]

Well, not no, but hell yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Listen, it's pretty awesome, man. It's pretty cool to. To have you as a friend and. And to. To, you know, how we met was pretty cool. You know, I. I read the book. I posted about the book on my Instagram, and you sold a couple books. And. And then we met at Cardone's 10X.

[Tim Grover]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

His first one.

[Tim Grover]

And that was like, sitting right next to each other.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pretty cool, man. I was like, man, there's Tim Grover. And you turn around, you're like, andy. And I'm like, holy. Tim Grover knows who I am.

[Tim Grover]

And Andy was wearing a suit.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, no, that's right. That's right. But, but. But we have him here today to go through some. Some q and A with you guys. So it's a very special day for you guys, and I guess we'll just get right into it, man.

[DJ]

Yeah, let's do it, man. I got some good ones for you.

[Andy Frisella]

You do?

[DJ]

I. I. I usually do. All right, so here we go, guys. Andy, Tim, question number one. Hey, Andy. My name is Ty, and I'm from Nebraska. Since I was 16, I've been listening to you. I'm 21 now and have successfully failed my first business. I started a construction company. In 2025. And by 2026, we are done. And now I'm restarting. I don't have a great path in mind, but I know I need to pay bills, make money, survive. For now. I was wondering if you had any wise words of MF wisdom for a 21 year old who's determined to be a millionaire by 25.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, first I'd say you're lucky to have that lesson in your, in your repertoire now as opposed to later. You know, right now, when you're young, a lot of people, you know, they're scared of failing, they're scared of looking stupid. And you already got that part out of the way.

[DJ]

Yeah, successfully.

[Andy Frisella]

So, you know, when it comes to losing, man, you know, you can hate to lose, but also value the lessons that it learned, that it teaches you. And you know, where you're at in your life. This isn't going to be your last loss, but hopefully it's your most important. And you have to ask yourself, you know, instead of worrying about, like, how silly you look or failed business or any of these things, you have to just ask yourself, what'd you learn? Because this path that we're on as entrepreneurs is a lifelong path. You know, Tim and I talk about this a lot. You know, when you're a pro athlete, you have eight to 12 years, if you're lucky.

[Tim Grover]

If you're lucky.

[Andy Frisella]

Right. And entrepreneurship is a unique game where you get to compete at the highest level, but it goes for as long as you want to play. And sometimes people opt out, sometimes people ride it all the way to the end. But the point of the matter is that you're very young. And to have started and failed a business at the age of 21, really, honestly, it's probably the best thing that you could have going for you. When I started in business, you know, I, I started with a lot of little things. You know, even back to when I was a kid, I started, you know, selling baseball cards, selling light bulbs door to door, doing all these different things and, you know, none of them worked. But every single time I went through one of these, these situations where things didn't work, I learned a lesson. And as I've grown as an entrepreneur over the course of my life, I've started to change things from wins and losses to lessons. Okay, what did I learn here, what did I learn there? And that goes for both the wins and the losses. And I think to, to play the long game, you know, you have to attach less of your identity to the outcomes in terms of wins or losses, and more of your identity to the process. Okay, what am I doing every single day? What lessons have I learned? How is that going to help me get where I want to go? And that goes for both the wins and the losses. This is like, you know, you guys saw Indiana win national championship last week. You know, they interviewed Signetti right after the game, and he said. He said, what are you going to do? He said, well, I'm going to have a beer. Okay. But I guarantee you he probably didn't have to, right? He probably. I bet you the day after that he was back in the game, working for that next one and that next one. And, you know, you're going to lose games, you're going to lose businesses, you're going to lose relationships, you're going to lose. But if you keep going, it's not a loss, it's just a lesson. So I think the main thing that you got to keep in mind here as a young man is that you're going to have these situations repeat over and over and over again. And most people will identify a big loss like that as a defining moment in their life. Life in a bad way. When in reality, every great person that I've ever met defines their losses as just part of the journey. They see it as a necessity that led to the outcome that they were after down the road. So, you know, that. That's my advice, man. It's really just as simple as. As continuing to work down the path and continuing to get better. I mean, what do you think, Tim?

[Tim Grover]

Well, first of all, I'm still waiting on my light bulbs from you.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

I didn't realize it was you. Yeah, obviously everything that you said is absolutely true. The one thing I would say in part of his question is one of the reasons I think a lot of people fail in their thing is they put a timeline on. Like, you know, I have to be. Like he said, I have to. I want to be a millionaire by the time I'm 25.

[Andy Frisella]

Right.

[Tim Grover]

All right, so you try to. You try to accelerate everything, and you may not be ready to accelerate at the speed that you. That you think you're prepared for. So throw that. Throw that number or that timeline out and like you said, continue with the process. Continue. Continue to work. And because things. And you say this all the time is things always take longer than you anticipate. They just. They just do. They just do. And your story is not. Is not unique. You know, obviously, you know, you said you've been listening to this, to the podcast since you've been 16. So then you should be very familiar with first forms history. When you guys opened up your first store and everybody was sleeping in the store, and I think. I don't remember your first month or something, you made like $12 or 8.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, 7 bucks our first day.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you don't. You don't have a. You don't have a unique. You don't have a unique story. So a lot of people have gone through this. So when you're taking a vet, when you're taking the lessons from these individuals, listen, don't think you're alone. You're alone in this. But whatever mistakes you made, you cannot continue to make those same mistakes. It's like, you know, you have to learn. You have to learn from this failure. Like they saying, failure is a learning process. So if you're going through it and, like, you're going to try to do it the exact same way, the same method with even the same people and the same attitude, it's not. It's not going to. It's not going to work. There has to be some. There has to be some adjustments there. And maybe the people that you were doing business with or the. Some people involved in your business, you got to look at them and see if they're part of the win or part of the loss.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I also think it's important for everybody to understand, like, dude, whether you're playing basketball or baseball or football or entrepreneurship or business, I mean, look, dude, you know, you get in the. You get in the hall of fame baseball for batting.300, you know what that means? That means you fucking struck out or got out seven out of 10 times. And everybody that you guys look at and see as winning, they don't necessarily show those parts of their journey. You know, they should, but they don't. And that's for a number of reasons. You know, one, maybe. Maybe they've got a massive ego and they're embarrassed of the things that they did wrong.

[DJ]

It's not cool.

[Andy Frisella]

Flashy. Yeah. But. But the truth of the matter is, is that, you know, in my experience, you know, those have been the most valuable things. The times when things didn't work out, the times when things didn't go the way that it's supposed to go because it did allow, just like Tim said, for you to audit and say, okay, I can make this decision. This actually worked pretty good, but this didn't work well. And then over the course of time, you start to find that recipe where the things that Work. Work. And the things that you are weak, you replace with, with either people or systems or a new skill set, and then you go at it again. And I think a lot of people, to your point, Tim, when they put these timelines on them, you know, they get to be the 25, and they're like, well, I didn't make it. So you know what? It's not for me, complete failure. Right? And that's just not the game. The game is very long. And these people that you look at and you say, I really want my life to look like that, I mean, dude, I could guarantee if you get them and you get a couple beers in them, they'll tell you all the horror stories they had to go through to get to that point.

[Tim Grover]

And here's the thing is just you look at the successful people and you talk to them and you, you go to them like, man, you made it. The first thing they'll tell you, I haven't made anything. Yeah, I haven't made anything. It's a, it's a, it's an infinity journey. It doesn't, it doesn't. It doesn't end. And that, I'm not always saying that's a, that's the best thing, but the true entrepreneurship, the journey never, the journey never stops. It just doesn't.

[Andy Frisella]

I think. You know, it's also important to note, dude, that, you know, the people who fail the biggest in life are usually the people that won early. Okay? We see this over and over again. We see this with the MVP of the high school football game.

[Tim Grover]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Or we see this with point, right? You started out and, you know, you, you hit on something and it made you some money right up front. And what happens is. Or, you know, like, we see this with, with people's physical bodies, right? They were in shape, attractive. They were. And then you see them when they're 40, and you're like, who the is this? Right? And the, the reason for that is, is because they never actually had to learn the skill set to produce that outcome. And a lot of people who lose in life, the worst are people who won once. They won once, and then they can't win again because they attach their identity to that one win that came because, you know what? There is some things that you're going to swing and you're going to hit real hard, and it might work out a little bit, but if you don't develop the work ethic, the skills, the habits that come behind that, you can't replicate it. And so the truth of the matter is, to this guy who's asked this question, bro, you're in a much better spot than anybody could be over the course of the long term by failing that so early. Okay. If you had won that business so early, here's what your attitude would be. Everything I do wins.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Everything I touch turns to gold. And I know this from being around a lot of business people and a lot of people who have lost in their entrepreneurship journey. They constantly talk about that one time they won, and they attached way too much to that one win as opposed to, you know, are you winning consistently? What's it look like five years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now? And so I actually think that winning early is a very dangerous thing for people because they never learn the skills or, Or. Or develop the. The lessons that they need to learn to replicate that over the course of their life.

[Tim Grover]

The one thing I would also tell them, I was like, take a little journey into your upbringing, all right? How you. How your parents, if you have siblings, how. How they handled winning and losing when you were growing, growing up, not only for themselves, for you, because that would. That has a lot to do with your identity.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

How much you attach yourself to it. Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, bro, you know, I mean, if you grow up around parents that are con, you know, look, dude, there's two. There's. There's the story of, like, the two sons, right? They have an alcoholic father, and one son never touches alcohol because he saw what his alcoholic father did. The other son does exactly what his father did and ends up with the exact same life. And you have to have the awareness and the honesty to be able to look at your environment of where you grew up and say, what did I pick up from that? What did I see? Right? And sometimes that isn't fun to look at because, dude, we love our parents and we were happy that, you know, they. They try their hardest and we care about them. And, you know, it's. It's hard to look at someone that you truly love and say, man, they kind of fucked me on that. You know what I mean?

[DJ]

Right?

[Andy Frisella]

But if you're aware. If you. If you develop that self awareness to be able to truly dissect things for what they are, that's where you want to be. You want to live in that zone. You don't want to attach your emotions to either. You want to see things for what they are. And when you can do that without emotion, it makes your chances for success, you know, that much greater. Love it, man.

[DJ]

I love it guys. Andy, Tim, let's get to question number two. Andy. I feel like once people labeled me capable, the expectations never stop. I can't fail quietly anymore, and that pressure makes every decision heavier. It's like I am expected to succeed now. So what do you do when you don't? I know every single at bat isn't going to be a home run. I get that. But the people counting on me don't. So how do you handle this?

[Andy Frisella]

I say that's a great problem. Most people can't put the expectation of winning on themselves. They have to have it put on them externally. And when you're lucky enough to be in a situation where everybody expects you to win, that pressure is automatic. And by the way, nothing good ever comes without pressure. So I would consider yourself pretty fortunate to have that because the worst thing that could happen were for you to be going through your life and be surrounded by people that just expect you to lose. There's no pressure. There's no, there's no expectation. And ideally you should have that expectation on yourself, but sometimes it takes external pressure to, to, to, to start embodying that full time. Because, dude, like we just talked about an hour ago, it's heavy is the head, right? When you're that dude, guess what? It comes with that, dude.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I mean?

[Tim Grover]

Everybody wants to be. Everyone wants to sit in that chair. Everybody wants to sit in that seat until it' that seat, until it's time to make those decisions. Listen, pressure is a privilege, folk. Stop. Don't run from it. You don't run. You don't run from pressure. You run to. You run towards it. All right? Pressure defines who you are and who you're not, but also defines who you can become. All right? So don't, you know, you sit here and you watch what separates the top business people, the CEOs of the companies, the pressure when they have to make those decision, when they have to make those decisions that affect, you know, tens and thousands of. Of individuals. When you're watching a baseball, when you're watching a baseball player, a pitcher or a batter or basketball or a quarterback or so forth, you know, it's the, it's the wins and losses comes from individuals that can handle the pressure that's not only internal, but that's, that's also, that's also external. Obviously, those people see something in you, but make sure you're taking the, the, the pressure. The individuals that are putting the pressure on you are those individuals that. Does that have the right to do that. All right, this is, this is. You know, it's just not people that are trying to. That are looking to bank off of your. Bank off of your success. So if you want to alleviate some of that pressure is. Alleviate those individuals. Alleviate those individuals, then the pressure that that's bestowed on you is actually pressure that you want.

[Andy Frisella]

How do you think. Have you ever met anybody? Like, I mean, dude, you've, you've, you've coached literally the greatest achievers in all different areas, sports, business, etc. Have you ever met anybody that. That. That didn't want that?

[Tim Grover]

Not at the highest level.

[DJ]

The pressure.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah, not at the highest level. And then, you know what you also look at, it's your consistent habits over and over again that people, that people see that allows other individuals to believe, you know, believe. Believe in you. You know, you look at Michael in the, you know, in two of the championship games, he gave the ball to Ste. He gave the ball to Steve. He gave the ball to Steve Kerr for that shot. He gave the other one. He gave the other one to John, all right? But it took him years of watching those individuals in games, their practice habits, how they showed up to be able to say, okay, I trust. I trust those. I trust those individuals to pass them the ball. So it doesn't always. You don't always have to be the. A lot of times your best individuals in the organization and team are the ones that can handle the pressure the best. But there are also other individuals that during certain circumstances, you have. You got to know who to pass the ball, who to pass the ball to, and let them say, hey, they're. Create that. Take that pressure. Take that pressure situation, have everybody come your way and then make the right play.

[Andy Frisella]

How. I feel like a lot of people get stuck in this idea that they're the only ones that can operate during pressure, which makes the pressure feel even greater than what it is. How does someone go about figuring out who's who in regards to who can also handle that pressure when the time comes?

[Tim Grover]

Well, like I said, you have to be around those individuals. It has a lot to do with the dynamics of them growing up, who they. Who they're hanging out with, what situations they put in. I mean, now, I hate to say this, but, you know, society is. The way in our system is. It's. Pressure is not a good. Pressure is not a good thing anymore. It's just, you know, it's everything. We got to treat everybody the same. We can't make anybody look a certain way. I mean, there's Schools now that literally, when I went to school, you had to make a presentation. You got in front of the class, or you got in front of the whole school, and you had to go out there and stand in front of the audience and tell them what you had to say and so forth. And now, because they don't want to. They don't want to create anything different, you can literally take your cell phone and record your presentation now under your own.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[DJ]

In the safety of a bedroom.

[Andy Frisella]

I got a note. Because of my anxiety, I can't do the presentation. Well, then, guess what? You're going to lose.

[Tim Grover]

You're going to. Because that. And then when you're exposed to that situation in real life, and you will be, at some point, I don't care how protected you are.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

You have. You have zero. Your body is a foreign substance. Your body doesn't even know what. What it is. You crumble.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

You're going to be like, what's going to. What's going to happen?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, dude. And that's why it's so important for you to seek out uncomfortable situations.

[Tim Grover]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

Every single chance you get. Like, if you struggle with speaking, you should be trying to speak in front of two people, three people, five people. As much as it takes for you to lose that. That feeling, okay? And. And what happens is, over time, your skill set becomes so strong and so competent, bro. You don't even notice that there's pressure. Like, you don't even feel it. Like, a lot of people think, like, they look at, like, high achievers and they think, man, that guy does really good under pressure. Except that guy doesn't even feel the pressure. No, that's. That's. It's not even in his mind. There's no. There's nobody that you watch on TV that is truly great at what they do, whether it be UFC or baseball or basketball or this or that or this, that. They don't feel it because they've acclimated to it over and over and over and over. And once you're acclimated to that level of pressure, it seems like it's some sort of supernatural power, but it's. It's very methodical and it's very tactical. And as long as you. It's no different than a cold plunge, okay? You get in a cold plunge the first day, I don't give a shit who you are, bro. You're freak the fuck out, okay? But if you do it every day for a year, okay, you're going to be around your buddies that have never been in a cold plunge before, and you're going to get right in there and they're going to be like, oh, well, that's. That's no big deal. But then when they get in, they. They freak out. So a lot of this is just acclimation, dude. It's just looking for situations. I mean, the first thing is you got to be aware of your lack of skill, right? And you got to be aware that I need to work on this or I need to work on that. And let me tell you something about speaking, because it's a great. It's a great thing to talk about right now. There is not a better skill than you can have than being able to communicate under pressure. It is like, the skill. So, you know, when I first started public speaking, I was speaking to my team and in the. In the back of my. In the front of my retail store, and I had a piece of paper with some notes on it. And my paper, my hand was looking like this, and there's eight people in the room and I'm freaking the out. But, dude, when you do that, like, a lot of people will say, well, how the did you learn how to speak? Well, I had to do it every single week for 10 years before I ever got on a stage. And then when I got on the stage the first time, I was freaking out. But then I did that a gazillion times. And then now it's like, hey, you want to go speak in front of 10,000 people? I'm like, now, like, you know, like. Like, right, you need me. Like, what do I need to say? Like, what do you. Which way do you want me to go? Sure, I'll go do it. Like these. This acclimation of pressure and being in situations that make you uncomfortable is extremely valuable because nobody was willing to do that fucking work broke. Like, I was terrified to talk to people in public. Terrified, okay? And even though I worked at a retail counter for 10 years, I couldn't go out in public and talk to people. I could talk to them very well when they were in my environment, but I couldn't do it outside of that. And I recognize that. So you know what I did? I made up a little game. A lot of you guys might recognize it from Live Hard. What I did was I went to the grocery store and I said, I gotta have three meaningful conversations and then I can go home with strangers. And this wasn't, hey, you know, nice shoes. It was a conversation, right? I had to make it and force it into a conversation. And, dude, I did that for years. For years, I did that every single day. The skills I gained from that exercise are very, very, very responsible for the outcome that I'm currently living in. And you guys have to understand, this goes for anything. This doesn't just go for speaking. This goes for if you're learning how to run or you're learning how to lift weights or whatever. Dude. It's just repetition after repetition after repetition to the point where it just feels natural. And most people, when it comes to, like, pressure, run from the pressure their whole lives. Pressure is a bad thing. Pressure is something to be avoided. And because they have that mind frame, they never acclimate to it the way that you need to, to be effective. Do you. Does any of your athletes, you know, like, do they ever talk to you like, hey, Tim, I'm having trouble with the pressure, man? I mean, they might hit you privately and say, hey, man, I'm getting a little overwhelmed. But.

[Tim Grover]

And I always tell them when they get overwhelmed, I was like, look outside the game. Look outside the game. What's the external thing that's bringing in? Because when you get overwhelmed, it's usually not by the situation. It's all the external. That's why I said you need to take a look at these outside individuals. And this goes back to a lot of pressure stuff has to do with rejection. So the one thing that was a great story that you just said about going to the grocery store. How many times did you walk up to somebody.

[Andy Frisella]

They thought I was a weirdo.

[DJ]

Right.

[Tim Grover]

Just to reject. Imagine going into groceries, nice shoes. They'd be like, right?

[DJ]

Yeah, right.

[Tim Grover]

But just. Just being able that once that pressure situation, being able to just approach a stranger, don't know who they are. And that is more than actually striking up the conversation. Once you get into there, you're like, I'm good.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. It's a huge, huge deal. And you can apply that to anything that you want to get better at.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[DJ]

So don't run from the pressure.

[Andy Frisella]

No, no. Not if you want to win.

[Tim Grover]

No. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta run. You got. If you keep running from the pressure, you're gonna be running. You're gonna be running your whole life, man. You're just gonna.

[Andy Frisella]

Most people do.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah, you're just gonna. You're just gonna. And eventually you're gonna get tired. You know, you're gonna. You're gonna. You're gonna get. You're gonna get tired. You gotta go, dear. Go deal with that pressure, man. Go, go deal. Go deal with the internal Pressure, the external pressure, whatever. Whatever it is, go deal. You will. You will benefit so much for it in all aspects of your life. And. And here's the thing. If you don't deal with. If you don't deal with the pressure for your fat, for your family, it's going to be generation. They're going to watch how you do it. Then the next generation is going to run from it. The next one's going to run from it. Somebody's got to. Somebody's got to break the cycle.

[Andy Frisella]

Absolutely.

[DJ]

Love it, man. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, Tim, we got question number three. Eddie. I've been working hard for years, but my results aren't where I thought they would be at by now. At what?

[Andy Frisella]

Mine either.

[Tim Grover]

Everyone's working hard. I hate, man. Just this. I hate what, man? I hate that. I'm like, seriously, I've been working. I've been working. Everybody in this building got. How many you got? What? How many employees do you got?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

All right.

[Tim Grover]

Everyone's work. Working hard does not. People think working hard guarantees you results. Working hard does not guarantee you results. It just doesn't. Are you working hard on the. Are you working hard on the right things? You maybe think you're working hard. All right, you may feel like you're working hard, but you better look around and see how hard some of the other individuals are working.

[DJ]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's. At what point do you. Do you stop telling yourself to stay the course and instead admit you might need to change how you think work or. Or even who you are?

[Andy Frisella]

Well, I think the first thing that Tim said is the absolute truth. Okay? Everybody works hard, dude. You're. You're not even in the game if you don't work hard. Okay? And it. You know that this is a pet peeve of mine, too. Like these that come in, bro, they come in and they're like, I'm a great. I'm a great on the team. I'm a great team member. I show up on time. I work hard. The you talking about, bro, that is like the minimum you have to do those things. If you don't do those things, you don't even have a shot. Okay? And you can work hard your entire life and still lose. That's the thing. Working hard at the wrong thing, like you just said, guarantees a loss. So you have to have the awareness for this person here. Are you making improvement? How many years have you been working? Have you been addressing your weak skill points? Have you been learning lessons? Or are you continuing to just Pound your head into that wall, hoping that it's going to come down. Because I'm gonna tell you it ain't. Okay? The hardest, the most effective, highest achieving people in the world understand that working hard is just part of it.

[Tim Grover]

They don't even talk about how hard they work.

[Andy Frisella]

Dude. Dude, it's. They. They literally don't because it's just the price. But what they do talk about is, could I do this a little better? Could I adjust my swing here? Could I move two steps this way and make it better? Am I doing this drill properly? Am I reading this kind of book? Am I actually good at this? Or am I making up for it with just grit, effort? Okay? Because people love to say this shit now, too. They like to say, well, it's not about working hard, it's about working smart. No, dumbass, it's about doing both for a very long time, okay? And anybody who says this shit on the Internet, like this little fucking. Oh, it's about working smart, not working hard. Those motherfuckers are lazy, ok? And the people who say it's only about hard work, it doesn't matter. Those people are stupid. Yeah. Okay? So you're either lazy or you're stupid or you're effective. Effective people work hard and they learn along the way, and they do that for as long as it takes to achieve the outcome, and that's the way it is. So I can't answer your question about whether you're not. You're on the right path because I don't have enough data to tell if you know there are certain paths that you could choose that are not going to produce the right outcome. They're just not. Okay. Are most of them that way? No, but there are some. Okay, you're not going to be a multi billionaire selling fucking butterfly T shirts, right? Okay. If your goal is to become a multi billionaire, it's probably not going to happen on that path, all right? So you have to be able to align the outcome with the path and then accompany that journey with very hard work for a very long time with the ability to improve along the way. But most people want one or the other or something else, and it's just not the way it works, man.

[Tim Grover]

Listen, ask your peers, ask the people around you. If you're working hard, then see what.

[Andy Frisella]

Is hard work now.

[Tim Grover]

Well, hard work is so much simpler now because everything is literally. You carry it around with you. You can get your research, you get your information, you get your podcast, you get everything in here when you're working Hard. Are you working hard on. On the right things? Do you have the skill set? You know, I get people that have read the books and so forth, and they'd be like, man, you know this book. I'm 30 years old. I know I had a dream of going to the NBA. I. I only played in elementary school. That ain't happening, dude. What should I. What should I. What should I do? I was like, don't do it.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

Oh, you're being negative. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[DJ]

You just try to doubt me, to give me some fuel, right?

[Tim Grover]

Take that same energy and put it into some. Into something else. Now, can you possibly. Can you possibly do that? That's what it is. All right. Well, it's just like this.

[Andy Frisella]

Working this well, we eventually all have to have an honest conversation about what our natural propensity for skill set is.

[Tim Grover]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

You had to. You play college basketball.

[Tim Grover]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

You didn't. You had to come to a time where Tim had to say to himself, this has a limit for where I'm going to go.

[Tim Grover]

But I was a sophomore, or I think I was a sophomore, junior in college. I played a junior in high school. Man, that dude kicked my ass. He up and down. I played him one on one, man. Up and down the court, up and down the court, up and down the court. I like, I like. Yeah, okay.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

And he eventually ended up going pro. Had a great. Had a great career. Was a client of mine at. At some point in his career. But I was just like, you gotta be really realistic about you. Like you said, what you. What. What your skill set is, what your skill set is and what you're capable of doing. And here's the one thing now, on TV and on social media and everything that's out there, you get to see how talented individuals really, really are.

[DJ]

Yeah, the best.

[Tim Grover]

You see some of the skill sets of individuals on, you know, on these. America's Got Talent or whatever the show is or whatever's got here, and you look at these individuals, the dancers, the singers and so forth, and these people, they're just trying to make it do. You get to see the artist. Some of the, you know, if you stop looking at all all the bullshit that's on your phone and you look at some of the artistic talent that people have and how creative they are, and your level of expertise and competition now is exponentially higher because there's so much exposure out there. So what you thought was hard work may not be hard work anymore.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right. And also you know, when we think about, like, the outcomes that we're after, usually people have pretty ambitious outcomes, which is great. But you have to realize, like, for every single person you see on America's Got Talent, there's a thousand more just like them that didn't make it.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay, so you got to be honest with yourself, but not. Not in a pessimistic way, in an honest way. Right. There's lots of people, I'm one of them, that did not have natural skill set for certain things. Okay. I was not naturally good with people. I was not naturally good at speaking. These are skills I developed over repetition, repetition, repetition. But if I had decided that I wanted to play pro basketball, it doesn't matter how fucking hard I work. It doesn't matter how many drills I had. It doesn't matter who I hired as my coach. Guess what? It ain't happening. So people hide. Look, winners are going to win regardless. They're going to figure out a way to fucking win. You have to be very honest with yourself. Are you not winning because you can't win? Or are you not winning because you haven't been doing it long enough? Or are you not winning because you haven't learned the skill set yet? Okay? But if the winning that you're after requires you to run a 4, 240, and you're £300, it ain't happening.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So you got to be honest about yourself in your assessment of where you're strong, where you're weak, where could you be great? And then you have to develop an outcome that allows you to get there with what would be considered some of your maybe gifts, but they're not everybody's. Very few people have a quote, unquote, a gift that doesn't have to be nurtured and developed. Right? Like, we get caught up in this language of, oh, that guy's gifted. That guy's gifted. Yes. But they also put in thousands upon thousands of hours to developing that gift. Right.

[DJ]

It's almost disrespectful to just say, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, it's very disrespectful.

[DJ]

You're a gifted speaker. It's like, what the you talking about? I don't spit.

[Andy Frisella]

It's what. We just talked about this on the other show. It's one of my most annoying pet peeves of people. It's like, there. Because there's nothing casual about winning, bro. Nothing, nothing, nothing. People who win are obsessed with winning. And when you come in and you think that you can do half their work or learn Half their skills, or you're going to find a way around that. You got to realize that's an ego problem with you. You think you're better than you actually are, which is keeping you from getting where you want to go. And so there's all different kinds of ways to think about this. And I think most people are hiding in their assessments of themselves. And what I mean by that is this. This person here says, oh, I've been working for years, and I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not there.

[Tim Grover]

So you notice he didn't say how many years?

[Andy Frisella]

No, he didn't. Yeah. Was I one? Is that one and a half years?

[Tim Grover]

He didn't say. He didn't say how many years. He just.

[Andy Frisella]

10 years.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. New year. Like, bro, it took me 10 years to make over $100,000. 10 years. 10 years. Okay. Tell yourself the truth. Are you really after that outcome? Are you pouring everything that you could into it? Are you learning every skill along the way? And if you still have been doing it for 10 years, and that's the honest answer, you probably should be doing something else.

[Tim Grover]

Something else. You don't have the talent for whatever you're doing.

[Andy Frisella]

Right. But that's super rare.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Unless it's, like, something like, athletically or musically inclined. Right. Like, I used to have this guitar teacher, and, dude, he. He was amazing. Joe knows him. And we would play songs that I wanted to learn that he had never. He was a jazz guy. He liked jazz. So I'd play him songs that he had never heard, and he'd play him back. Like, I'd play the song one time, he'd play the back, and I'm like. And I remember I was sitting there one time, and I was like, dude, you are so talented. And he fucking stopped right there. Stopped right there. And he goes, I've been. He was 52 years old at the time. He goes, I've been playing guitar since I was 8 years old. He goes, I have tens of thousands of hours sitting here with this instrument. This isn't talent. I worked for this. And it, like, he was serious, dude.

[Tim Grover]

Oh, he was hot.

[Andy Frisella]

And I was like, I never said that about anybody ever again. Yeah. Because I was discounting the work he had put in.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And he was upset about it. And I never made a mistake ever again.

[Tim Grover]

You see some of the greatest bass players, guitar players in the bands, and the way they be doing you just. You. You're mesmerized by it. But they. They've been Doing it for. For decades.

[Andy Frisella]

Decades.

[Tim Grover]

For decades. And they still practice it as though it's their first day.

[Andy Frisella]

That's right.

[Tim Grover]

And they're still trying to get better. They're still trying to figure out. They know they. They've never hit perfection. They're always. They're constantly ch. Knowing they're never going to catch it, but that's what it is. They're always looking for that perfect song, that perfect string, that perfect everything, and the obsession to constantly get better and get better and get better. But what you said, it's years and years, and they've had the talent. They're willing to improve and so forth. Just working hard is not. I could sit here all day and I could dedicate the rest of my life to say, okay, I'm going to whatever it is. If I don't have the. If I don't have the ability to talent, if I'm not good at it, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Andy Frisella]

Or the time.

[Tim Grover]

It doesn't matter. Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. I mean, dude, you could. You could create a lot more skill set when you're 20 than you can when you're 60.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You just have more time. So the fact that this person is young, that's a good thing. All right? But we have to be real about this. Dude. This is not greatness is not an accident. It really isn't. And it's painted as if it is, but it's not. You just don't see the things that go into it, so you assume it's magical. Like whenever my buddy Matthew, the guitar guy, that's magical to me, I was like, how the. Could anybody do that? Like, I couldn't believe it. But I wasn't there for the. The 40 something years that he. 42 years or whatever it was that he played.

[Tim Grover]

So what is magic? Magic isn't what you see.

[Andy Frisella]

It's what you don't see, man. There you go.

[Tim Grover]

It's what you don't see. So when that person has that magical skill, that magical talent, that magic makes that magical shot. It's. It's what. It's all the hours. It's what you don't. It's what you don't see. When a magician isn't everybody. It's what the magician doesn't show you. What makes things, Matt, what makes things magical.

[Andy Frisella]

And I. I think, too, dude, you could become pretty good. It's like if I started today. If I started playing guitar today, okay, I haven't played in a number of years. If I started Today, let's just say I never played before, and I played every single day. And I did that for five or six years. I go play in a band.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I could be in a band. Okay. But I'm not gonna be the Rolling Stones.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, right. I'm not gonna be Jimmy Hendrix, bro. Like, so we have to be real about these things. And the Internet wants to, like, make everything seem like it's. Everything can be done. There's actual real constraints to your achievement that if you're not aware of, will keep you from achieving anything.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So to this person, okay, we don't know how long they've been doing it. We don't know. You know, they say, oh, I've been working hard. But for example, like an operator standard, we have this. We have a powerless system. Right. You could plug in the wrong shit every day on your power list and fucking win your days.

[DJ]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

But that doesn't mean it's going to produce the outcome you're after. You have to have the awareness to know what the critical tasks are that move you towards that goal. Right, Right. So we could get caught up in this idea of working hard without, like Tim said, working hard on the right things. Right. And that is a huge difference.

[DJ]

I was going to ask you guys on that note, right? Like, from your experience, how many of those, how many people would you say that you know? Yes. Okay. Let's, let's, let's, let's hit check the box. They're working hard, but they're not working hard on the. Right. Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

It's time to upgrade your aura ring. Man, that thing don't fit no more, huh?

[DJ]

No, it's just a little rubber.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, it's there. DJs down 100 since he met you.

[DJ]

Yeah, I'll tip. Checks in on me.

[Andy Frisella]

I know.

[DJ]

Checks in on me. I know, but no, I mean.

[Andy Frisella]

So he almost came down here and beat your ass one time, bro. Yeah.

[DJ]

Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did.

[Tim Grover]

I wasn't going to beat his ass. I'd bring other people that would help at my age.

[DJ]

He got punched by Michael Jordan.

[Andy Frisella]

I had to pull DJ aside. I said, hey, bro, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. There's only a few people that you better text back, and he's one of them.

[DJ]

That's right. No, but, but let me, let me ask you guys this on, on the topic of, you know, let's check the box. They're working hard.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay.

[DJ]

There's not a question.

[Tim Grover]

Okay.

[DJ]

You're working hard, you're just a little off. Like, you're off target.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[DJ]

Maybe not on the right thing.

[Andy Frisella]

How.

[DJ]

What, how would you guys, like, what would you guys say? Like, is that the majority of people, they're just a little off from target, or is it like, are we assuming.

[Andy Frisella]

That they actually work hard? Actually work at home? Okay, so we're assuming they actually work hard, actually. And you're. You're asking out of the people who don't achieve what they want to achieve, but they actually work hard, what's the problem?

[DJ]

Right? Are they just a little off or. For most people, they're probably really far off.

[Andy Frisella]

I think most people lack self awareness.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

I think most people don't have the ability to coach themselves. Yeah, I think the greatest people in the world have the ability to coach themselves. I don't think they attach emotions to their performance. You know, like, when you talk to someone like, okay, I'm a bad loser. I fucking hate losing. And for about 20 minutes after I lose, do not fucking talk to me, okay? But after that 20 minutes, I'm able to sit down and I'm able to say, okay, why'd I lose? What did I do wrong?

[Tim Grover]

Break it down right?

[Andy Frisella]

What did I do wrong? How can I do it better? What needs to happen next time so I don't get like this again? That's a skill that a lot of people don't have. And I. I've always been able. I've been very fortunate. And I think, you know, growing up around my dad really helped me with this because I can remember one time I was wrestling, and my dad will tell this story, but I had to wrestle this dude who, like, he never. He. This guy never lost a match in high school ever. He played in the NFL, and I had to wrestle this dude. And I remember we were at wrestling and I was a heavyweight. Okay, so we could have guessed that. Yeah. No, so, so, so back in my day in wrestling, when you were a heavyweight, you got a lot of forfeits, all right? Which means they didn't have a heavyweight. So, like, I look around and, you know, you look around the room for the other fat guy. All right? And you're like, all right, where's the fat guy?

[DJ]

All right, no fat guy.

[Andy Frisella]

So good.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

So I'm rest. We're at this wrestling, we. I'm looking around, there's no fat guy, but you still have to weigh in. Okay? So I get on the scale and, dude, I used to get, like, super nervous before wrestling. I didn't get nervous for any sport except wrestling, because, dude, there's no hiding. It's you and that other dude, and everybody's watching. Yeah. All right, So I remember. I'm like, I. I get on the scale, and I'm all calm, and. And my coach looks at me, and he's like. He's like, man, what's. What's gotten into you? And I'm like, what do you mean? And. And I'm like, they don't. You know. What do you mean? And he's like. And as he's, like, telling me this, like, there's three of their coaches standing there, and their coach starts taking off their clothes, and. And he's fucking yoked. And I'm, like, looking at my coach, and I'm like, why is their coach getting on the scale? And it turns out this was their fucking guy, okay? This guy's like, 2:40. I mean, dude, he played fucking tailback in the NFL, so, you know, what the fuck? He. Yeah, he's just one of them guys.

[DJ]

That was a coach.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, a coach. And I got terrified, bro. I was like. So I went out there, I. I lost. I did okay, but I lost. And I was so pissed off on the way home when I lost. And my dad was, like, laughing at me. He's like, first of all, let me tell you something. Nobody expected you to win. Okay? Let's just start right there. Second off, why'd you lose? And we went through the whole thing, right? And so my dad was always very good at, like, breaking down the losses when I. It wasn't ever. You know, we celebrate the wins.

[Tim Grover]

Sure.

[Andy Frisella]

Okay. But way more valuable, when I lost, like, if we had a football game, you know, we would break down, like, not in a film way, but he would take all the bad plays. He said, what happened there? What happened here? What happened there? Right? And that taught me at a very young age how to do that, to break down and coach myself.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And the highest achievers and I. I would be interested to see if this is common with.

[Tim Grover]

I already know what he's gonna say.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, they. They do it themselves. And then. Then, like. Like. Like, bro, like, when I've had problems before and I've called you, I already knew the problem. I called Tim and I said, hey, man, this. What's going on. Blah, blah, blah. What do you think? He's like, yeah, you're right. This. So, like, the. The highest achievers have an awareness that's not emotional. It might look emotional in the moment.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

They might get pissed Off. When they lose, they might break, but eventually they calm down and they're like, all right, here's what happens.

[Tim Grover]

They've had so many conversations with themselves. Like you said, they can. They can self. I. I would have. Before I could point something wrong, they would already say, I already know. Already got it.

[Andy Frisella]

I think that's a common amongst.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Amongst the highest level winners in anything.

[Tim Grover]

Yeah. You know, that's why coaches always say they're the easiest to coach. You know, the common factor. My. You talk and people think that.

[Andy Frisella]

Because what they think when they say that is, that guy's so good, I don't have to coach him. No, that's not what it is.

[Tim Grover]

No. And, you know, so there was a thing I just saw on Tom Brady, and I know we're going a little bit off subject. He just said he could look at a playbook. Once.

[Andy Frisella]

I know it, I know it.

[DJ]

Like an NFL playbook.

[Tim Grover]

He goes, yeah, I know everything.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but, dude, if you look at Tom Brady and you look at his background and you look where he came from, and you look how he was drafted. He wasn't a fucking star anywhere, dude. So what happened to him? He had. This is my fucking outcome. This is where I want to be. What do I have to do to get there? Well, I'm not the fastest. I don't have the best army I could play.

[Tim Grover]

Right.

[Andy Frisella]

So I got to be smarter and I got to learn the game and I got to be technically perfect.

[Tim Grover]

Yes.

[Andy Frisella]

And that's. This is. Dude, the. The guys who win over and over and over, they are those guys that's.

[Tim Grover]

Working hard on the right things.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

You see what I'm saying? So he's. I'm. Listen, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna be the fastest quarterback. I'm not gonna be able to do this. I don't. I got a decent arm. I got this. But you know what? The ability for me to process information, recognize situations, lead, lead a team, being able to know. Know not only my playbook, but the opponent's playbook after I see it. There you go, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

And. And, dude, let's be real about this. This is the truth. The most talented people rarely win. It's the guys with some talent. It's the guys with some ability. Because here's what happens. These dudes that have this gift that we all call talent. Maybe they run a 4, 140, or maybe they fucking jump 70 inches, whatever the fuck it is. They. They, they, they. What happens is they end up relying on that. Okay?

[DJ]

Reading the playbook.

[Andy Frisella]

No, that's right, bro. There's a very famous story about jamarcus Russell about not reading the playbook. Jamarcus Russell. You remember Jamar Russell, Number one fucking draft pick in NFL. He's supposed to be the greatest quarterback ever, because physically he was. He was 6 5, 280, ran fast through beat. No one could touch him. So he gets drafted number one, and he goes out on the field. And the Raiders, he got drafted by the Raiders. And they're like, this guy's pretty good. So he refused to read the playbooks, okay? And they were pretty sure that he wasn't reading the playbook, so they gave him a playbook that didn't have any fucking plays in it.

[DJ]

Oh, man.

[Andy Frisella]

And they told him to go home and read it. He came back the next day, he's like, yeah, I fucking read it. And if you don't know about NFL history, jamarcus Russell is one of the biggest busts in the history of fucking NFL. No offense if he's listening, but you were. Okay, but he could have not been. If he was slightly less physically gifted, he probably would have realized, I have to do all of these other things. So a lot of the people that you look at and you say, oh, man, that guy's great. That guy's great at what he does. It's not because they're the most talented. It's because they had a little bit of talent, but they were willing to do all the shit that goes with it. And like, dude, if we look at, like, fuck, dude, Michael Jordan's the same way, is he not?

[Tim Grover]

Talent is a gift. It's not a promise. And people think it's a. People think it's a promise. So another story that you want to. That Derrick Henry. So when he got to. When he got to Alabama with Nick Saban, you know, they had all these intricate plays to run and all, and he was totally lost. And then it was like he goes. And the Nick goes up to him. He goes, well, what's my. He goes. In high school, he goes, they gave me the ball and they said, go run that. Go run to the other end. He goes, that's all. He goes, they gave me the ball. Said, go run to the other end. Because he was just. Physically, yeah, just like, nobody. Nobody could stop. Nobody could stop. Now. He knew at the next level and the coach knew at the Lexna that wasn't going to be enough. So he started to. Had all the. Has all the talent, had the speed, the power, everything you Know, it's legendary, but he was willing to start working on the things that he needed to work on in order to be this dude.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

He just wasn't relying on his so called gifts.

[Andy Frisella]

Now look at him. Yeah, bro, he's one of my favorite players. And you know why? Because he runs and he's physical and he's big and he's faster than everybody, but he's gotten better as his career has gone on.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

And that's a testament to what you're talking about, Tim. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

[DJ]

Well, dude, I love it, man. This was great, guy.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah. Tim, dude, thank you so much for coming.

[Tim Grover]

Always an honor, guys. Thank you so. My pleasure. It's always a pleasure. It's great to sit with you two individuals and just chop it up. And like I said, I always. I come out of the. One of the reasons I do this is honestly, I. I take away so much from this. You know, I'm just not here just spewing information. I'm gathering information on how I can be, How I can be better and hike. Make other.

[Andy Frisella]

Dude, how old are you?

[Tim Grover]

I'm 61.

[Andy Frisella]

Look at this guy.

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Andy Frisella]

Oh, look at him.

[DJ]

I see him, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, that's a high standard man, right there.

[Tim Grover]

And I'm not ashamed to tell him.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

You know, people, when people ask me how old I'm, I tell them exactly what. I don't hide from my age. I always say, I'm not old. I'm seasoned. I'm saying I'm not, I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to tell. I'm not. I don't hide. I, I don't. I don't hide. And there's the thing. I am more determined now on certain things. Listen, I may not be able to do things as fast as I. As I were. As I was. But my determination and the things I still want to accomplish and, and it starts if I don't. There's old Saturday Night Live clip with. I'm trying to think of his, his, the comedian's name. Oh, man. But you know, he always says, back.

[Andy Frisella]

In that black and white days, huh?

[Tim Grover]

Huh? It's going. It's going. It's going way. It's going way back. How you feel about yourself and how you look matters. It really, it really does. Especially as you get, as you get older.

[Andy Frisella]

Well, you're crushing it, dude.

[Tim Grover]

It really does. It's very, it's very important. Do I, do I wake up every single morning say, yeah, let me go to the gym? No, you know, it's I got to talk myself into it. But when I. When I get there, I'm like, I'm not going to waste my time. And, you know, obviously it can turn into a social setting and there's a certain. I set a time. Once I get it, I have to be in here and I got to be out of here. There's a lot of times, I guess I don't have time for conversation.

[Andy Frisella]

The best part about Tim is when you say. When you tell him, I worked out for two hours. The. You did.

[Tim Grover]

When you work out, you have the gym to yourself, right?

[DJ]

Yeah.

[Tim Grover]

Sometimes it's just YouTube, but other than that, you're in there like, this is my time. I gotta, you know, I gotta finish doing this and I got. I gotta get the hell out. I gotta get the hell out of there.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, man.

[Tim Grover]

Well, thank you very much, bro.

[Andy Frisella]

Listen, it's. It's a. Listen, man. I hope sometimes you stop and think about how many people you've actually helped.

[Tim Grover]

Oh, thank you.

[Andy Frisella]

Because it is. It is. It's not just the Michael Jordans. It's not just the Bryce Harpers. You're helping real people do real. Thank you. And I know we don't always see it, but I hear it all the time, all the time from people. So.

[Tim Grover]

And part. Hey, I want to say thank you too. Part of we're going back on the physical thing, the support from first form, whatever I ask for them, it's literally. It's there with under. In less than 24 hours.

[Andy Frisella]

Yeah, but the rest of you got to pay.

[Tim Grover]

But. Yeah, but listen, nothing comes for nothing come. Nothing comes. Nothing comes for free. All right. I don't.

[Andy Frisella]

Because, actually, I think you are. You do pay.

[Tim Grover]

I am. I am blessed to have to get the products that, that, that I get. But I don't take it. I don't take that lightly. I give back. I give back.

[Andy Frisella]

Tim, you've been giving back forever, man.

[Tim Grover]

And I'm gonna. I'm gonna continue. It's the only way. It's the only way I know how. Well, it's the only way. It's the only way I know how.

[Andy Frisella]

We appreciate you, brother.

[Tim Grover]

I appreciate you guys too, man.

[DJ]

Oh, yeah, man. Well, yeah, guys. Andy too. That is all I have.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, guys, we'll see you tonight, seven o'. Clock.

[Tim Grover]

Hey, you got plenty more, but this is all.

[Andy Frisella]

All right, 7:00pm tonight. YouTube x Twitter, whatever you want to call it. We'll see you there. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. Yeah.

[Unknown Rapper]

Went from sleeping on the floor now. My jury box froze up. Bow a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch booted swole. Got her own bank roll. Can't fold. Just a no head shot, case closed.