Real America’s Voice: Joni Table Talk – September 14, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Joni Table Talk delves deeply into overlooked experiences of betrayal in marriage, especially when men are the ones betrayed by their wives—a narrative rarely discussed. It also features powerful testimonies of marital restoration, overcoming addiction, significant health challenges, and the role of faith, intentional habits, and support in healing. Noted guests Dr. Doug Weiss, Dr. Anna Kendall, and pastors Casey and Wendy Treat join Joni Lamb and table panelists to share personal insights and practical guidance for couples navigating betrayal and crisis.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Overlooked Pain: When Men Are Betrayed

Guest Expert: Dr. Doug Weiss, psychologist and relationship author

• [07:22] Dr. Weiss addresses the rarely voiced reality of men betrayed by their wives. He notes that society often expects men to “just get over it,” minimizing the emotional trauma they experience.
  • Quote: "Men go through the trauma too. But they go through it quietly and silently because really nobody cares about them." (Dr. Doug Weiss, 08:28)
• There are abundant resources for women who are betrayed, but scarcely any for men.
• Dr. Weiss produced “The Betrayed Man” DVD to support men, as most won’t seek counseling or read books.
  • He finds that, because men rarely talk about the pain, they may either leave the marriage or become emotionally distant, affecting the relationship profoundly.

Types & Causes of Betrayal

• Dr. Weiss lists three types of cheating:
  1. Physical cheating: Sexual acts with someone other than the spouse.
  2. Emotional cheating: Deep connections, secret communication, sharing thoughts or compliments you wouldn’t if your spouse were present.
  3. Adultery by neglect (Intimacy Anorexia): Withholding love, attention, and spiritual/emotional intimacy to the point of causing partner pain.
     • Quote: “You can commit adultery by neglect…your spouse is committed to you, but you’re not in relationship with them.” (Dr. Doug Weiss, 13:09)
• Common roots of infidelity by women: Past sexual abuse, addictions, fear of intimacy, shameful secrets, personality disorders, or a craving for external attention (“intrigue addiction”).

The Narrative of Blame

• Quote: "When a man cheats, it’s never the woman’s fault—and when a woman cheats, it’s always the man’s fault. That’s a lie." (Dr. Doug Weiss, 09:37)
  • Cheating is always the choice and responsibility of the person who betrays, regardless of “marriage environment.”
• Healing requires confronting the truth, total honesty, and accountability (even polygraph testing when trust is severely broken).
  • Quote: “The truth will set you free. If you’re still lying to your husband or your wife about these relationships you’re in, you can’t heal, Cindy.” (Dr. Doug Weiss, 16:20)

2. Healing After Betrayal and the Path Forward

Group & Individual Experiences

• Panelists share deeply personal stories: Anna Kendall, for example, admits that before her own marriage was saved, she was unfaithful; her marriage survived and thrived after genuine repentance and healing work.
  • Quote: "When you're healed…it’s like I'm talking about a cousin or somebody I used to know.” (Anna Kendall, 24:13)
• Cindy Murdoch recounts how faith sustained her after marital betrayal and highlights the importance of standing by the spouse who desires to heal.

Steps Toward Restoration

• Intentional Healing Habits: Couples are advised to regularly practice intimacy-building exercises:
  • Two feelings, two appreciations, daily: Each spouse shares two personal (not marriage-related) feelings and two appreciations about the other every day, followed by prayer and reading Scripture together.
    • Quote: “Disciplines guarantee results. So many people want a simple prayer. Jesus, do a miracle. He's saying, well, here's the plow.” (Dr. Doug Weiss, 19:46)
• Both spouses must take 100% responsibility for their own choices and healing. If the offending partner refuses accountability, honesty, help, or change, restoration is unlikely.

The Role of Faith

• Inviting God into the process is emphasized as crucial, both for personal peace and for healing the marriage.

3. Testimony: The Treats’ Journey from Addiction and Disease to Restoration ([36:44])

Guests: Pastors Casey and Wendy Treat

• Casey’s Early Years: Casey Treat shares his story of addiction and lack of purpose in youth, incarceration, spiritual intervention via a mentor named Julius, and eventual conversion to Christianity.
  • Quote: “Big Red, you can change. And I was like, really?” (Casey Treat, 38:38)
• Meeting Wendy: Wendy recalls knowing quickly Casey was her future husband, but doing it “the right way”—building trust, getting family buy-in, healing from past wounds.
• Church Planting and Family: After Bible school, Casey and Wendy start a church in Seattle, anchoring their marriage and work in faith and vision.

Casey’s Health Crisis

• Diagnosis: Unexpected hepatitis C diagnosis during a church building campaign. Twelve months of grueling, experimental treatment while leading a congregation.
  • Quote: “People say, why didn’t you use faith? I was using faith. I speak the Scriptures…if there’s medical opportunities, use it well, use wisdom.” (Casey Treat, 48:27)
• Wendy’s Perspective: The challenge of being supporter and caregiver, dealing with her own emotional rollercoaster, and importance of the church community and the Holy Spirit.
  • Quote: “...By God's grace. I think that in our life, as being Christians and being married and being parents, being grandparents and being pastors, is that by grace.” (Wendy Treat, 52:06)

Lessons Learned

• Use every resource—faith, medicine, intentional community, positive thinking—to fight for health and restoration.
  • Quote: "Use every endeavor to heal your sickness…keep your mind. Set your mind and keep it." (Casey Treat, 56:27)
• Renewing the mind through Scripture is a practice, not a one-time event. Find encouragement in Bible promises and the support of others.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If someone cheats, it’s 100% the cheater’s responsibility for cheating. Now both people are responsible for the environment…but there’s other options than cheating.”
  — Dr. Doug Weiss, [09:37]

• “You can commit adultery by neglect...Intimacy anorexia is the active withholding of spiritual, emotional, and sexual intimacy.”
  — Dr. Doug Weiss, [13:09] and [18:27]

• “Disciplines guarantee results. So many people want a simple prayer. Jesus, do a miracle. He’s saying, well, here’s the plow.”
  — Dr. Doug Weiss, [19:46]

• “The truth will set you free… If you’re still lying...you can’t heal, Cindy. You stay sick, and that sets you up for more secrets.”
  — Dr. Doug Weiss, [16:20]

• “Big Red, you can change…But someone else believing in you, someone else saying to you ‘we’re going to beat this.’”
  — Casey Treat, [38:38]-[39:10]

• “I would say that as long as you have a clear that you gave it 100%, you will never be at the mercy of a critic, ever. You will be shameless and it won’t stick with you.”
  — Dr. Doug Weiss, [26:38]

• "He bore my sickness and he carried my disease, and with his stripes I was healed. 1 Peter 2:24. ...That's not old school. That's like new school. That's everyday school."
  — Casey Treat, [56:03]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [04:32] – [18:50] Discussing betrayal of men in marriage, causes, types of cheating, and Dr. Weiss’ counseling experience
• [18:50] – [26:38] Emotional recovery, intimacy anorexia, rebuilding trust, practical daily exercises for couples
• [36:44] – [62:09] Casey and Wendy Treat testimony: Overcoming addiction, building a faith-centered marriage and church, facing life-threatening illness, lessons in faith, resolve, and the power of supportive community

Summary Table: Practical Takeaways

| Issue/Challenge | Approaches/Tools Discussed | Key Quotes/Timestamps | |-------------------------------|----------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------| | Men betrayed in marriage | Awareness, tailored resources (DVD), honesty, counseling | “Men go through it quietly and silently…” [08:28] | | Types of Cheating | Physical, emotional, neglect/intimacy anorexia | “You can commit adultery by neglect…” [13:09] | | Rebuilding after betrayal | Daily intimacy habits, accountability, mutual healing | “Disciplines guarantee results.” [19:46] | | Healing after infidelity | 100% responsibility, finding your “why”, spiritual support | “If a person’s not willing to take 100% responsibility…” [25:46] | | Overcoming addiction & illness| Faith, medical wisdom, supportive community, renewing the mind | “Use every endeavor to heal your sickness…” [56:27] |

Tone & Style

The discussion was candid, compassionate, firmly faith-based, yet practical. Real pain and struggles were not glossed over—rather, they were addressed with openness, humor, and empathy, providing both hope and actionable advice for listeners facing marital betrayal or personal crisis.

For Listeners:

Whether you are struggling with betrayal, rebuilding trust, fighting addiction, or illness, this episode offers a unique blend of honest testimony, clinical insight, and practical, spiritual tools for real healing—reminding you that you are never alone and restoration is possible.

For more, visit jonilamb.com or find further resources from Dr. Doug Weiss and Pastors Casey & Wendy Treat.