Podcast
Real Men Feel with Andy Grant
Hosted by Andy Grant | Authenticity & Masculinity Coach · EN
Real Men Feel helps men grow beyond outdated rules of masculinity to live with authenticity, purpose, and joy.
Since 2016, host Andy Grant has explored how vulnerability, courage, and real conversation fuel personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being.
🥇 Silver Signal Award Winner – Most Inspirational Podcast & Best Self-Help Show.
🎧 Join our free community for men at https://realmenfeel.org/group
💬 Want to be a guest? Connect with Andy on PodMatch, https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/realmenfeel
🔗 Show notes & resources: https://realmenfeel.org
21episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Confessions of a Problem Seeker
2w ago00:31:44Tap to summarizeFrom Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Howard Steinberg on Trauma, Achievement, and Authentic MasculinityHost Andy Grant interviews Howard Steinberg, author of Confessions of a Problem Seeker, about how compulsive hyperthinking and achievement masked inherited trauma from being raised by Holocaust survivors, plus the fear and isolation shaped by a childhood type 1 diabetes diagnosis and a likely undiagnosed ADHD. Steinberg describes building an outwardly successful identity as an entrepreneur while living in survival mode, then facing a midlife unraveling marked by business losses, divorce, and shifting family roles that forced surrender and deeper emotional work. Howard shares how meditation, breathwork, somatic awareness, spiritual therapy, and psychedelic-assisted healing helped him move from mind-based control to heart-based truth, reframing masculinity as love and vulnerability. Key takeaways include: “I wish I had the courage to live an authentic life,” “The mind operates in fear… the heart operates in love,” and “You’re good enough… nothing to prove.”00:00 Top Regret of the Dying00:23 Meet Howard Steinberg01:18 What Is a Problem Seeker03:04 Survival Mode Origins06:50 Hiding Vulnerability08:01 Authenticity and Psychedelics09:11 Midlife Unraveling11:58 Ambition as Survival14:03 Advice for Life Collapse19:05 Tools That Opened the Heart22:54 Somatics Get Out of Your Head24:47 Trauma Family and Community26:17 Forgiving and Reframing Parents27:33 Fatherhood Grandfatherhood Love28:25 Authentic Masculinity Is Love29:20 Where to Find the Book29:46 You’re Good Enough30:42 Closing Reflections and CommunityConnect with HowardHoward Steinberg — https://howardsteinberg.com/Confessions of a Problem Seeker: My Lifetime Journey From Busy Brain To Loving Heart — https://amzn.to/3PS3ffXConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 405
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Men Forge Forward: Overcoming Pressure and Finding Purpose
3w ago00:28:03Tap to summarizeMen, Masks, and Meaning: Sean Hegarty on Being “Fine,” Identity, and Men Forge ForwardHost Andy Grant talks with Sean Hegarty, founder of Men Forge Forward, about how many men hide stress behind the mask of being “fine,” shaped by pressure, responsibility, and fear of appearing weak. Drawing on years as a paramedic and healthcare manager, Sean describes seeing men buckle under hidden load—especially during COVID when support networks vanished—and shares his own “dark time” after being diagnosed with complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder, which ended his paramedic career and triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Through therapy, networking, and coaching, he learned to separate identity from job, focus inward on values, and build an accessible Skool-based community that became a supportive brotherhood. He explains signs of being stuck, the power of vulnerability and peer support, his critique of commercial coaching frameworks, and emphasizes that “it’s okay not to be okay.”00:00 I'm Fine Lie00:23 Meet Sean Hegarty01:11 Emergency Care Stress04:10 Masks And Weakness06:51 Losing Paramedic Identity08:38 Coaching Turning Point11:20 Building Men Forge13:36 Brotherhood Community16:23 Not Finished Just Stuck21:34 Signs He's Not Fine23:39 Leading With Micro Wins25:54 Connect And Closing Connect with SeanMen Forge Forward — http://menforgeforward.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seanhegarty01/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 404
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Redefining Strength Emotional Fitness and Vulnerability
4w ago00:26:38Tap to summarizeEmotional Fitness: Redefining Strength Through Self-Love and VulnerabilityHost Andy Grant welcomes Shaun Zetlin—master fitness trainer, motivational speaker, and author of Emotional Fitness—who defines “emotional fitness” as empowering yourself emotionally through exercise and releasing emotions stored in the body. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, being picked last, and a humiliating kickball incident where a camp counselor yelled, “What a loser,” led him to survive on shame and fueled his mission to help others not feel ashamed of their bodies. He reframes strength as facing and befriending childhood pain, accepting “Little Shaun” and recognizing that “You wouldn’t be Big Shaun without Little Shaun.” Shaun describes a turning point in high school theatre when he found belonging and confidence, and explains why men avoid vulnerability out of fear of being unlovable and cling to familiar belief systems. Viral quotes: “Shame…is the cruelest emotion of all”; “Surviving on shame”; “Everybody suffers in their own way.”00:00 Shame and the Mission00:18 Meet Shaun Zetlin01:01 What Emotional Fitness Means02:08 From Outcast to Training03:19 Redefining Strength07:06 Finding Belonging on Stage09:39 Kickball Trauma and Shame12:12 Why Men Fear Vulnerability16:31 Using the Gym to Avoid Feelings18:42 Turning Pain into Service24:00 How to Connect and Final Wisdom25:52 Closing Message and CommunityConnect with ShaunShaun Zetlin — https://www.zetlinfitness.com/Instagram — https://instagram.com/zetlinfitness/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-zetlin-96167270ResourcesEmotional Fitness: Empower Yourself Emotionally Through Exercise by Shaun Zetlin — https://amzn.to/4tnXcxmConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 403
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Reinventing Yourself: Autonomy, Competence, and Connection
May 100:32:36Tap to summarizeReinvention, Grief, and Identity After Corporate LifeOn Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with reinvention coach Shelley McIntyre about why workplace change triggers resistance rooted in grief and fear of loss, explained through self-determination theory’s three needs: autonomy, competence, and connection. McIntyre distinguishes reinvention coaching from career coaching by focusing on identity questions—when high achievers feel they’ve “masked” themselves with competence, status, and titles, and fear they won’t matter without them. They discuss the hidden grief of losing a career path, the “invisible contract” of loyalty for security that companies don’t actually honor, and signs it’s time to move on, including not liking who you’ve become, loss of belief in the work, and body sensations like “soul rot.” McIntyre outlines phases of reinvention (identity crisis, rebuilding foundation, experimentation) and emphasizes vulnerability, emotional vocabulary tools like an emotions wheel, and low-stakes steps like talking to people who’ve left corporate life, while reminding men that their value is inherent.00:00 Three Needs Triangle00:44 Meet The Guest01:26 From Strategy To Coaching02:10 Resistance And Grief03:31 Self Determination At Work04:45 Reinvention Not Career Coaching06:11 When Competence Becomes Mask07:57 Title Status And Terror10:19 Layoffs Threaten Autonomy10:49 Signs It's Time To Leave12:55 Annihilation Fear And Culture14:45 Invisible Contract Myth17:33 Razor Blade Comfort Zone18:20 Four Phases Of Reinvention20:02 Crisis Versus Pre-Growth24:15 Vulnerability Fuels Change27:16 Emotion Wheel And Vocabulary29:01 Low Stakes First Steps30:42 Where To Find Shelley31:11 Inherent Value Closing31:55 Final Takeaways And InviteConnect with ShelleyShelley McIntyre — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/Burn The Map Podcast — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/podcast/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelley-mcintyre/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 402
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Life Reboot: Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries
Apr 2400:28:05Tap to summarizeFrom Burnout to Boundaries: Clarity, Values, and Life RebootHost Andy Grant interviews coach Loren Silverman, who helps overwhelmed high performers set healthier boundaries, clarify values, and rebuild steadier lives, including through his gamified 12-week “Life Reboot Nerd Edition” (a Dungeons & Dragons-style framework where clients “level up” real-life skills like boundaries and energy mastery). Silverman shares his own burnout and how the 2022 Ukraine invasion—impacting his Ukrainian dev team—prompted him to travel to Poland to transport refugees, reshaping how he wanted to serve people. Loren emphasizes pausing for self-awareness, naming emotions (using tools like a feelings wheel), and choosing clarity over trying harder when misaligned with values: “Are you just not satisfied, or are you despondent?” He defines boundaries as protecting time and energy, warns against reflexive yeses, describes “cleaner conversations” via clear requests, and uses pinball’s “dead bounce” as a metaphor for patience and measured response. He encourages men to embrace vulnerability and intimacy with male friends.00:00 Name Your Feelings00:18 Meet Loren Silverman00:57 Burnout to Coaching01:36 Ukraine Turning Point05:20 What Burnout Felt Like07:25 Values Before Action08:27 Pause Reboot Grow09:01 Clarity Beats Effort11:15 Life Reboot Nerd Edition14:03 Boundaries That Protect17:25 Clean Conversations19:44 Feelings Wheel Basics20:58 Tracking Real Progress22:04 Pinball Life Lessons24:56 Connect and Final WisdomConnect with LorenLoren Silverman — https://www.silvermancoach.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorensilverman/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/lorensilvermancoach/Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578400050255Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 401
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The Invisible Scorecard—What Men Measure and Who They Become
Apr 1700:49:13Tap to summarizeEpisode 400: The Invisible ScorecardHost Andy Grant marks Real Men Feel’s 400th episode and 10-year anniversary with returning guest Vanessa Cardenas, a relationship reset expert, to examine how men constantly measure themselves through an “invisible scorecard” of success, money, status, age, and relationship milestones. They discuss how comparison “pulls a man out of his life and puts him onto someone else’s timeline,” eroding confidence and intimacy, especially when men fill gaps with imagined stories about past partners. Cardenas emphasizes authenticity, dropping the mask, reducing destructive scorekeeping, and using milestones in healthy ways, noting that clarity builds confidence, which in turn supports intimacy. She shares coaching approaches that focus on the here-and-now, appreciation and recognition in relationships, and practical communication shifts. They also explore how significant transformation can happen in 400 minutes, hours, days, or months, and close by urging men to stop measuring by others’ standards and focus on who they are becoming.00:00 Episode 400 Milestone01:24 Vanessa Returns03:35 Why We Measure04:50 Men Internal Scorecard08:27 Comparison Social Media12:17 Mythic Man Programming14:06 Find Your People17:19 Comparison Kills Intimacy20:20 Clarity Builds Confidence22:22 Say It Differently25:03 Relationship Reset Work26:32 Coaching Not Therapy27:49 Starting Sessions With Praise29:30 Drop Comparisons And Scorecards31:06 Milestones Versus Keeping Score32:14 Transform In 40036:29 Men Need Appreciation39:03 Compliments And Being Noticed42:41 Invest In The Work43:39 Authenticity And Connection46:24 Metallica Quote And Joy47:51 Final Takeaways And ThanksConnect with VanessaUnderstanding Ear — https://understandingear.com LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessa-cardenas-relationship-reset/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_understandingear/YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-CardenasResourcesPrior appearances of Vanessa Cardenas — https://www.realmenfeel.org/guests/vanessa-cardenas/Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | httsp://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 400
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Betrayal Trauma Isn't Something You Just Get Over
Apr 1000:43:53Tap to summarizeBetrayal, Shame & Rebuilding Trust: The Therapy Brothers on Real RecoveryOn Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with licensed clinicians Brannon Patrick and Tyler Patrick (the Therapy Brothers) about betrayal, shame, trust, and recovery after relationship rupture. They share what drew them into trauma, addiction, infidelity, and betrayal work, why men often seek help only after disclosure or rock bottom, and how fear of rejection and “unlovability” drives hiding, overperforming, and defensiveness. They describe betrayal trauma as complex trauma with PTSD-like symptoms and explain that healing requires safety, validation, and time rather than pressure to “just get over it.” They unpack “Mr. Nice Guy” patterns as fear-based manipulation, distinguish apology from accountability rooted in personal integrity, and emphasize rebuilding trust through authenticity, empathy, and consistent action. They outline shame resilience—awareness, self-compassion, and courageous disclosure—and discuss surrendering performance-based spirituality. 00:00 Shame and Hiding00:32 Show Intro and Guests01:29 Why They Became Therapists05:33 Men and Rock Bottom09:29 Betrayal Trauma Explained11:53 Why Just Get Over It Fails13:27 Mr Nice Guy Pattern18:07 Authenticity and Self Trust21:03 Roots of Betrayal and Addiction22:12 Apology Versus Accountability23:32 Integrity Apologies24:18 Building Safety Trust25:29 Shame Hiding Cycle28:38 Shame Resilience Tools30:03 Surrender Not Performance33:05 Tyler Rock Bottom Story36:40 Reclaim Your Heart39:19 Connect With Brothers40:16 What Men Need Know42:36 Final TakeawaysConnect with Brannon and TylerReclaim Your Heart — https://reclaimyourheart.orgTherapy Brothers — https://therapybrothers.org/Instagram — https://instagram.com/therapy.brothersYouTube — https://youtube.com/@therapy.brothersConnect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 399
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Aligning Success with Soul: From Rock Bottom to Purpose
Apr 300:39:57Tap to summarizeSuccess, Intuition, and Purpose: Paul Davis on Unlocking Your GeniusHost Andy Grant interviews business growth consultant and intuitive advisor Paul Davis about aligning business success with purpose, meaning, and self-care. Davis explains that financial turnarounds don’t last if the owner’s mindset, beliefs, and unresolved childhood trauma aren’t addressed, citing ACE scores and how fear, shame, and guilt can escalate depression and suicidal ideation. He shares his own lifelong suicidal thoughts, why he hid them to avoid appearing weak or risky in senior roles, and how his brother Eugene’s death prompted him to speak openly and develop a methodology for purpose. Davis outlines “genius” as an innate spirit and describes four purpose elements: a life quest/mission, divine inspiration, three “genius drivers” for fulfillment, and a “genius role” archetype. He emphasizes giving “from the saucer, not from the cup,” building intuition, and living with an “open hand” rather than a constant focus on productivity.00:00 Why Leaders Stay Silent00:27 Meet Paul Davis01:29 Business Meets Mindset03:22 Sunrise Wake Up Call05:15 Dark Questions Early06:29 Research And New Method08:35 Service And Mission09:57 Why Success Feels Empty10:38 Trauma Triggers Self Care15:04 Why He Hid It18:17 Loss Changed Everything20:19 Defining Genius21:02 Divine Inspiration Explained21:32 Why Finding Your Why Fails22:10 Genius Drivers And Fulfillment22:49 Genius Roles And Alignment24:27 Success Without Purpose26:23 Intuition And Seventh Son29:19 What Leaders Need Most31:24 Find Your Lifelong Quest35:00 Meaningful Life And Legacy37:04 Open Hand Living Advice38:59 Final Wrap And ResourcesConnect with PaulPaul Davis — https://davisbusinessconsultants.com/LinkedIn — linkedin.com/in/pauldavisdublinYouTube — https://www.youtube.com/davisconsultantsResourcesGenius Unlocked: Discover Your Life Purpose & Innate Genius by Paul Davis — https://amzn.to/4tq8JNcAll of Paul’s books — https://amzn.to/4t86RrHConnect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join me and connect with other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://www.realmenfeel.org/YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 398
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Men's Silent Struggles: Overcoming Loneliness and Rejection
Mar 2700:40:56Tap to summarizeRebuilding After Betrayal, Divorce, and the Dead Bedroom: Ralph Brewer on Men, Shame, and SupportHost Andy Grant interviews men’s coach Ralph Brewer about rebuilding after infidelity, divorce, and relationship collapse. Ralph shares his own experience of being divorced within 60 days after his spouse’s infidelity and becoming a single father of three, including how he blamed himself for years and later learned he couldn’t control another person’s choices. He explains how therapy and connecting with other men led him to create the “Dad Starting Over” platform, write five books—starting with the breakout “The Dead Bedroom Fix”—and build HelpForMen.com and the paid Brotherhood community with frequent Zoom meetings, forums, conferences, and coaching. They discuss common patterns among anxious, codependent “Mr. Nice Guy” men paired with avoidant partners, how “man up” emotional suppression causes flatness and mental health issues, the risks of bitterness and rapid rebound dating, and why peer support and asking for help are essential.00:00 Shame and Masculinity00:19 Show Intro and Guest01:28 Ralph's Divorce Story02:34 Owning Too Much Blame03:58 Therapy and Brotherhood05:10 From Blog to Brand07:32 Identity After Breakup10:29 Man Up Culture Costs12:15 Anxious Avoidant Trap15:48 Rewiring Shame and Self-Worth18:07 Dead Bedroom Explained19:58 First Step Honest Inventory21:11 Why Men Choose Wrong21:51 Pragmatic Partner Vetting22:55 Divorce Patterns Repeat23:56 Avoiding Bitter Blame25:36 Rebound Relationship Trap26:53 Neurodivergence And Dating29:27 Rock Bottom And Coping32:04 Brotherhood And Community36:52 How To Find Ralph38:31 Ask For Help40:01 Final TakeawaysConnect with RalphRalph Brewer — https://helpformen.com/Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/dadstartingoverInstagram — https://instagram.com/dadstartingoverResourcesThe Dead Bedroom Fix by Ralph Brewer — https://amzn.to/4tgMJ7nAll of Ralph’s books — https://amzn.to/4s85KYMJoin other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 397
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Redefining Success: The Hollow Man Syndrome
Mar 2000:37:00Tap to summarizeThe Hollow Man Syndrome: Redefining Success, Vulnerability, and the New AlphaHost Andy Grant interviews Kenyada Meadows, a Bank of America senior vice president and master certified executive coach, about “hollow man syndrome”—men who appear successful but feel empty and unfulfilled. Meadows explains the metaphor of a strong tree with decaying roots and describes how hollowing out can manifest as strained relationships, self-medicating, short tempers, or acting out. He contrasts traditional “alpha” achievement-driven masculinity with “emotional integrity,” emphasizing vulnerability, community, and emotional literacy as skills for connection and asking for help. Meadows outlines his “New Alpha” framework of three domains—relationships at work, at home, and with oneself—critiques the myth of perfect work-life balance with the idea of “wobbling well,” and discusses re-parenting the inner child, grace, and intentional reflection. He shares taking four months of paid parental leave in a competitive Wall Street environment, finding no downside, and encourages men to broaden “providing” beyond money to presence and communication.00:00 The Hollow Tree Metaphor00:31 Meet Kenyada Meadows01:32 Defining Hollow Man Syndrome04:19 Personal Turning Points05:37 Mentorship and The New Alpha08:23 Costs of Traditional Alpha09:56 Emotional Integrity Skills14:38 Why High Achievers Feel Empty16:31 Wobbling Work Life Balance18:40 Reparenting the Inner Child21:07 Taking Paternity Leave24:02 Providing Beyond Money28:04 Three Domains Framework29:49 Rethinking Alpha Culture32:46 Connect and Final Takeaway36:15 Closing and Community InviteConnect with KenyadaKenyada Meadows — https://www.executiveparentcompany.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenyadameadowscpaciacfe/ResourcesThe New Alpha: Be Three Times the Leader Through Balance, Not Dominance by Kenyada Meadows — https://amzn.to/4bA4BCVConnect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join me and connect with other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | http://realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 396
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