Podcast
Real Men Feel with Andy Grant
Hosted by Andy Grant | Authenticity & Masculinity Coach · EN
Real Men Feel helps men grow beyond outdated rules of masculinity to live with authenticity, purpose, and joy.
Since 2016, host Andy Grant has explored how vulnerability, courage, and real conversation fuel personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being.
🥇 Silver Signal Award Winner – Most Inspirational Podcast & Best Self-Help Show.
🎧 Join our free community for men at https://realmenfeel.org/group
💬 Want to be a guest? Connect with Andy on PodMatch, https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/realmenfeel
🔗 Show notes & resources: https://realmenfeel.org
28episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Embracing Authenticity and Grit: Real Identity & True Purpose
1w ago00:42:29Tap to summarizeFind your tribe in Authentic AF. Visit https://www.skool.com/authenticaf/aboutGuardians of Grit: Authentic Identity, Purpose, and Raising Strong, Kind SonsOn Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant speaks with David Ask, founder of The Ask Experience and author of the upcoming book Guardians of Grit, about authentic identity, purpose, grit, and fatherhood. Ask argues identity is uncovered—not achieved—by clarifying values, convictions, virtues, strengths, and desired impact, rather than defining oneself by roles or performance. He reframes grit as values-based staying power without emotional shutdown and says purpose should primarily focus on helping others flourish. They discuss how fathers can raise strong and kind sons by recognizing the larger story of what’s worth fighting for and by using a “notice, name, nurture” framework, including the idea that a father’s key job is to remove uncertainty. The conversation also explores humility, capability, faith, and the revelation of others’ “riches.”00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro00:51 What Is Authentic Identity02:14 Childhood to Core Values05:33 Values Convictions Virtues11:08 Purpose, Love, and Alignment16:03 Start With Who, Not Why19:14 Defining Real Grit21:05 Values That Build Grit21:54 Raising Strong Kind Sons23:12 The Bigger Story Of Manhood25:39 Notice Name Nurture27:13 A Father Removes Uncertainty29:33 Humility Over Performance31:11 Dangerous Yet Gentlemen34:14 Faith Identity And Worth37:20 Bottom Of The Ladder39:15 Connect With David40:38 Reveal Others' Riches42:47 Host Takeaways And Next StepsConnect with DavidDavid Ask — https://theaskexperience.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/thedavidask/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 412
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The Essence of Responsibility: Showing Up with Integrity
2w ago00:37:12Tap to summarizeFind your tribe in Authentic AF. Visit https://www.skool.com/authenticaf/about Nothing Changes Until You Show Up: Redefining MasculinityHost Andy Grant interviews Daryl Dittmer on Real Men Feel about what it means for men to “show up” with honesty, discipline, integrity, and responsibility rather than performing through money, muscles, status, or possessions. Dittmer describes true masculinity as being a provider and protector while also allowing feelings and building loving relationships, sharing how his blue-collar upbringing and recovery from drugs and alcohol pushed him toward intentional self-work. He explains crossroads often arrive by surprise and require humility and teachability, outlines daily practices like meditation, exercise, breathwork, and gratitude, and introduces “micro-quitting” as small acts of avoidance that undermine effort and attitude. He emphasizes rebuilding self-trust by starting small, taking action, and focusing inward—“first things first”—to find peace, contentment, and fulfillment, and he directs listeners to his podcast Show Up.00:00 What Showing Up Means00:21 Meet Daryl Dittmer01:05 Defining a True Man02:41 Misconceptions and Masculinity03:57 Crossroads and Humility07:30 When You Are Not Showing Up10:05 Daily Habits and Rituals15:32 Responsibility Without Shame19:58 Work Ethic and Micro Quitting24:00 Rebuilding Self-Trust26:13 Clearing Mental Garbage29:28 From Success to Fulfillment32:27 Where to Find Daryl33:46 First Things First35:47 Closing and Next StepsConnect with DarylDaryl Dittmer — https://www.daryldittmer.com/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/daryl_dittmer/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/daryl-dittmer-734205294/Daryl’s PodcastShow Up with Daryl Dittmer — https://www.daryldittmer.com/podcastConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 411
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I Turn 60 Today: Growing Up Without Growing Old
3w ago00:02:17Tap to summarizeLet's connect in Authentic AF: https://www.skool.com/authenticafI Turn 60 Today: Growing Up Without Growing Old | Real Men Feel with Andy GrantAndy Grant, host of Real Men Feel, shares that he turns sixty today and reflects on never expecting to live past twenty. He notes he doesn’t feel much different from how he did at thirty and is in better shape now than when he graduated from university. Andy challenges the common belief that aging is inevitably “all downhill,” saying that may be true for some people but not for him, and encourages others to respond the same way. He emphasizes that growing up doesn’t have to mean growing old and cites men who felt great into their eighties and nineties because they kept learning, staying active, trying new things, laughing, and living. His advice at sixty: never stop learning, never stop trying new things, never stop having fun, and don’t waste life needing to be right all the time.00:00 Turning Sixty Today00:37 Rethinking Your Peak00:44 Rejecting Age Decline01:21 Growing Up Not Old01:42 Advice For Sixty01:50 Choose Happy Over Right02:11 Life Is Good#RealMenFeel 410
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Celebrating Male Friendship and Connection
3w ago00:18:42Tap to summarizeTurning 60 and Staying Connected: Celebrating Male FriendshipHost Andy Grant records a road-trip documentary to Northern California with five high school friends celebrating turning 60, using intimate one-on-one interviews to explore adult male friendship amid “male loneliness” statistics (men with six or more close friends dropping from 55% to 27%, and 15% reporting zero close friends). His friends discuss the conscious effort required to maintain long-distance bonds, barriers like busyness, being a homebody, and social anxiety, and the value of communities such as church men’s groups, volunteering, and shared activities; one shares the “big important thing” approach of scheduling recurring traditions to keep friendships alive. They advise men without friends to make the first move and invite others in (“Come on over for supper”), be themselves rather than perform bravado, and express appreciation and affection (“If you can hug, you’re gonna be an awful lot happier”). Andy also shares past suicide attempts and realizing that the feared stigma often exists only in his mind, closing by inviting listeners to join the Authentic AF community.00:00 Road Trip Friendship Doc00:18 Why Male Friendship Matters01:22 Staying Close Across Distance02:27 Faith Groups And Brotherhood03:34 Busy Lives Social Anxiety05:07 Friendship Through Fun06:46 Effort And Ride Or Die08:51 Make It A Big Thing10:43 Advice For Men Alone13:01 Mental Health Storytime14:38 One Thing Men Should Know17:01 Turning Sixty Reflections17:57 Closing Thoughts & InvitationConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 409
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Transform Your Life with ‘What If?’ | From Rock Bottom to Clarity
Jun 1900:29:12Tap to summarizeDoug Fleener on Sobriety, Self-Trust, and the “What If” Rule: Pause, Question, Go On Real Men Feel, Andy Grant talks with Doug Fleener, author of Start with What If, about how asking better questions can spark practical change. Doug shares how addiction and bankrupting his family business led to a pivotal interruption—“What if today you just went today without drink or drug?”—launching nearly four decades of sobriety. They discuss why men often wait for “rock bottom,” how shame thrives in isolation, and how honesty with another man can turn shame into remorse and responsibility. Doug outlines his “What If” rule—pause, question, go—emphasizing that action creates clarity and that mindset without action changes nothing. He reflects on redefining success beyond money, checking motives, serving others without resentment, and approaching fatherhood as “get to” rather than “have to.” Doug offers a free excerpt and newsletter at startwithwhatif.com, and Andy invites men to realmenfeel.org/group. Quotes: “What if today you just went today without drink or drug?” “The brain is a dangerous place to go alone.” “Mind shift without action changes nothing.”00:00 Why Men Hide Feelings00:21 Meet Doug Fleener01:17 The First What If03:20 Rock Bottom Choices08:06 From Shame to Action09:35 Pause Question Go11:29 Stop Catastrophizing14:08 Redefining Success17:46 Second Chance Fatherhood19:22 Action Creates Clarity23:16 Get Help Stay Connected26:17 Where to Find Doug28:45 Final TakeawaysConnect with DougDoug Fleener — https://startwithwhatif.com Instagram — https://instagram.com/dougfleenerYouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@doug-fleenerFacebook — https://www.facebook.com/startwithwhatifTikTok — http://tiktok.com/@dougfleenerLinkedIn — http://www.linkedin.com/in/dougfleenerResourcesStart With What If by Doug Fleener — https://amzn.to/4oAHL44Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 408
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From Shame to Power: Emotional Alchemy and Masculinity
Jun 500:43:15Tap to summarizeEmotional Alchemy, Shame, and Healthy MasculinityHost Andy Grant welcomes back holistic life and relationship coach Markus Kasunich to discuss “emotional alchemy,” shame, and how men may self-emasculate in reaction to toxic masculinity. Markus defines emotional alchemy as a three-part process—emotional awareness (visceral sensing), emotional intelligence (real-time articulation), and processing through feeling—arguing the emotional body can clear old material efficiently. They explore how men commonly repress anger and sadness due to conditioning, and how healing means changing one’s relationship to patterns rather than eliminating conditioning. Markus distinguishes toxic masculinity as the shadow side of masculine archetypes (king, father, warrior, magician, sacred lover, sage) and urges men, especially younger men in dating, to cultivate refined, emotionally available masculinity without shame: “The only real ability to process emotions is to feel them,” “You never get rid of the conditioning, but you can definitely change the relationship to the conditioning,” and “The access to your consciousness starts with feeling.”00:00 Emotions and Needs00:20 Meet Markus Kasunich02:12 What Is Emotional Alchemy04:20 Clearing Emotions Faster06:25 Men and Suppressed Feelings08:07 Permission and Awareness10:39 Shame and Self Emasculation12:58 Toxic Masculinity Explained17:18 Owning Conditioning Without Shame20:38 Healing Your Relationship21:45 Responding Not Reacting23:18 Masculinity On Off Myth25:21 Dating Shame Spiral26:52 Reclaiming Healthy Archetypes29:18 Emotionally Mature Man31:39 Future Of Masculinity33:52 What Women Misunderstand36:34 When Vulnerability Gets Rejected39:25 How To Connect With Markus40:53 Feelings As Consciousness42:27 Final Takeaways And Community Connect with MarkusMarkus Kasunich — https://markuskasunich.com Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/markuswkasunich/YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@markuskasunich3583Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/markuswkasunich/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 407
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Redefining Masculinity: From Soldier to Sensual Guide
May 2900:38:31Tap to summarizeFrom Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence Over PerformanceHost Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre describes serving in Afghanistan, leading others, and later being drawn into intimacy work after partners reflected its therapeutic impact, alongside unlearning rigid ideas of masculinity. He critiques the manosphere as often dangerous but notes it offers community and conversation to struggling young men. Andre defines somatic work as body-based healing—through breath, touch, and nervous-system regulation—often more effective than talk alone for physical or sexual trauma, and discusses common male intimacy issues like rapid ejaculation, erectile concerns, dissociation, and over-focusing on a partner’s pleasure. He emphasizes breathing as a foundational practice, compassion in difficult family relationships, that surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model with a licensed therapist, and that “intimacy is not performance, its presence,” “simple doesn’t mean easy,” and “there is no one way of being a man.”00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus01:32 From Marines to Intimacy03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning07:35 Vulnerability Myths09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained14:34 Somatics Defined16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles20:45 Breath as First Practice24:03 Healing Father Wounds27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy29:57 Going Public With the Work32:42 Boundaries With Clients34:33 Never Too Late to Grow36:01 Connect With Andre37:39 Final Takeaways on PresenceConnect with AndreAndre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04TConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 406
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From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Confessions of a Problem Seeker
May 2200:31:44Tap to summarizeFrom Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Howard Steinberg on Trauma, Achievement, and Authentic MasculinityHost Andy Grant interviews Howard Steinberg, author of Confessions of a Problem Seeker, about how compulsive hyperthinking and achievement masked inherited trauma from being raised by Holocaust survivors, plus the fear and isolation shaped by a childhood type 1 diabetes diagnosis and a likely undiagnosed ADHD. Steinberg describes building an outwardly successful identity as an entrepreneur while living in survival mode, then facing a midlife unraveling marked by business losses, divorce, and shifting family roles that forced surrender and deeper emotional work. Howard shares how meditation, breathwork, somatic awareness, spiritual therapy, and psychedelic-assisted healing helped him move from mind-based control to heart-based truth, reframing masculinity as love and vulnerability. Key takeaways include: “I wish I had the courage to live an authentic life,” “The mind operates in fear… the heart operates in love,” and “You’re good enough… nothing to prove.”00:00 Top Regret of the Dying00:23 Meet Howard Steinberg01:18 What Is a Problem Seeker03:04 Survival Mode Origins06:50 Hiding Vulnerability08:01 Authenticity and Psychedelics09:11 Midlife Unraveling11:58 Ambition as Survival14:03 Advice for Life Collapse19:05 Tools That Opened the Heart22:54 Somatics Get Out of Your Head24:47 Trauma Family and Community26:17 Forgiving and Reframing Parents27:33 Fatherhood Grandfatherhood Love28:25 Authentic Masculinity Is Love29:20 Where to Find the Book29:46 You’re Good Enough30:42 Closing Reflections and CommunityConnect with HowardHoward Steinberg — https://howardsteinberg.com/Confessions of a Problem Seeker: My Lifetime Journey From Busy Brain To Loving Heart — https://amzn.to/3PS3ffXConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 405
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Men Forge Forward: Overcoming Pressure and Finding Purpose
May 1500:28:03Tap to summarizeMen, Masks, and Meaning: Sean Hegarty on Being “Fine,” Identity, and Men Forge ForwardHost Andy Grant talks with Sean Hegarty, founder of Men Forge Forward, about how many men hide stress behind the mask of being “fine,” shaped by pressure, responsibility, and fear of appearing weak. Drawing on years as a paramedic and healthcare manager, Sean describes seeing men buckle under hidden load—especially during COVID when support networks vanished—and shares his own “dark time” after being diagnosed with complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder, which ended his paramedic career and triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Through therapy, networking, and coaching, he learned to separate identity from job, focus inward on values, and build an accessible Skool-based community that became a supportive brotherhood. He explains signs of being stuck, the power of vulnerability and peer support, his critique of commercial coaching frameworks, and emphasizes that “it’s okay not to be okay.”00:00 I'm Fine Lie00:23 Meet Sean Hegarty01:11 Emergency Care Stress04:10 Masks And Weakness06:51 Losing Paramedic Identity08:38 Coaching Turning Point11:20 Building Men Forge13:36 Brotherhood Community16:23 Not Finished Just Stuck21:34 Signs He's Not Fine23:39 Leading With Micro Wins25:54 Connect And Closing Connect with SeanMen Forge Forward — http://menforgeforward.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seanhegarty01/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 404
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Redefining Strength Emotional Fitness and Vulnerability
May 800:26:38Tap to summarizeEmotional Fitness: Redefining Strength Through Self-Love and VulnerabilityHost Andy Grant welcomes Shaun Zetlin—master fitness trainer, motivational speaker, and author of Emotional Fitness—who defines “emotional fitness” as empowering yourself emotionally through exercise and releasing emotions stored in the body. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, being picked last, and a humiliating kickball incident where a camp counselor yelled, “What a loser,” led him to survive on shame and fueled his mission to help others not feel ashamed of their bodies. He reframes strength as facing and befriending childhood pain, accepting “Little Shaun” and recognizing that “You wouldn’t be Big Shaun without Little Shaun.” Shaun describes a turning point in high school theatre when he found belonging and confidence, and explains why men avoid vulnerability out of fear of being unlovable and cling to familiar belief systems. Viral quotes: “Shame…is the cruelest emotion of all”; “Surviving on shame”; “Everybody suffers in their own way.”00:00 Shame and the Mission00:18 Meet Shaun Zetlin01:01 What Emotional Fitness Means02:08 From Outcast to Training03:19 Redefining Strength07:06 Finding Belonging on Stage09:39 Kickball Trauma and Shame12:12 Why Men Fear Vulnerability16:31 Using the Gym to Avoid Feelings18:42 Turning Pain into Service24:00 How to Connect and Final Wisdom25:52 Closing Message and CommunityConnect with ShaunShaun Zetlin — https://www.zetlinfitness.com/Instagram — https://instagram.com/zetlinfitness/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-zetlin-96167270ResourcesEmotional Fitness: Empower Yourself Emotionally Through Exercise by Shaun Zetlin — https://amzn.to/4tnXcxmConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 403
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