Transcript
Bill Maher (0:00)
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Bill Maher (1:30)
Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maher.
Bill Maher (2:07)
Thank you. Thank you. Hey, how are you? Thank you, people. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Oh, thank you. What a crowd. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I'm so glad you're here and in a good mood. And I know why you're happy. The Vatican is hiring. Well, it's true. No, let's, please. Sad, sad week. The Pope died, people. Fentanyl is no joke. Pope Francis has died and the outpouring of grief is all over the world and priests are telling their altar boys, just hold me. And of course, of course, this is the Pope. Francis was the first Pope from South America. So his body will rest in repose for eight days in the Vatican. And then ICE will come by in a van and ship him to El Salvador. But here's the interesting part of the Pope dying. The last person he saw officially was Our Vice President, J.D. no, it's true. It is J.D. vance. He was 88 years old. The Pope had just finished a 38 day, stay in the hospital, got over a lung infection and pneumonia, met JT for a half an hour, peeled right off, just. And of course, the funeral, the Pope still got his juz going because you know what, the funeral's a big thing. Everybody in the world's going, Trump's going, Trump's going to a funeral that doesn't happen a lot. And they say, listen to this, they say he might not be able to get one of the good seats, really, but they might not put him in the front row or even the second row. And worse than that, they're sitting next to Tracy Morgan. Well, it was a big week for the President. Wednesday is his hundred days. That's always a big thing, you know, when the President has his first hundred days. Time really flies when you're in the fetal position, doesn't it? I tell you. And of course, Trump, he's got to deal with all the kooky cabinet members he put in office, you know, the TV personalities. Oh, have you heard about crazy Pete Hag's death? What a scam. Remember about a month ago he was caught shot sharing, you know, top secret information on his signal, on his regular phone thing? Well, he did it again. Shared attack plans with his wife, his brother, his lawyer. Pete says it's no big deal. The brother and the lawyer can completely be trusted and the wife doesn't believe anything he says anyway, so. And oh, here's an interesting story that came out this week about Pete Hegseth over at the Pentagon. Apparently he's putting in a makeup room. You know, he used to be on Fox News, I guess once. A TV star putting in a makeup room. That'll show the Houthis. Let me tell you now, Pete denies this. He said it is not a makeup room. He said, and this is true, he said it's just a countertop, a tall director's chair, a mirror, a makeup light, and a pink neon sign that says, you go girl. Other than that, it is not a makeup ring. Don't get it confused, people, but here's where Pete might be in hot water because since this is the second time this has happened, they're doing a little digging, you know, and it turned out he was using an Internet connection that bypassed security protocols there at the Pentagon. It's what the IT nerds call a dirty line, cuz it connects directly to, you know, one we all use. But so far, Trump's position, he is standing by Pete and blaming Al Gore for inventing the Internet. So see you, Al. And finally, one last very important Story. Elon Musk is hanging up his chainsaw. As you know, he has been helming the Department of Government Efficiency, but that's over now. He said it's time to step back. Not that the work is done. He just wants to spend more time meeting his family. All right, we've got a great show. We have Bret Stephens and Senator Adam Schiff, and. Wow, what a show. First up, an environmentalist. An environmentalist. The environmentalist and co founder of the Climate Reality Project, who served as our 45th vice president. Al Gore is over here. Al, great to see you. Oh, yeah, look at that.
