Transcript
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Kaley Cuoco (0:31)
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Bill Maher (0:56)
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Bill Maher (1:00)
Welcome to an HBO podcast from the.
Kaley Cuoco (1:02)
HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maher.
Bill Maher (1:41)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, people. How are you? I appreciate it. Thank you, everybody. All right, thank you, everybody. I know, I know. It's very exciting. We had a. All right, thank you so much. I appreciate it. I know why you're excited. This was a great week for America. Not politically or economically or socially, but the other countries in the world could suck it. Because the Pope's American. That's right. How about that? In America, his name is Robert Prevost, although he is transitioning to Leo xiv Now, people, this is one of the biggest things that ever happened, ever. A new Pope. Because now he's the leader of 1.4 billion Catholics, five of whom actually still go to church. One of the biggest things. New pope already gave his first mass. Oh, it was a good one. He said some very interesting things. He said, many people perceive Christianity as absurd and meant for the weak and the unintelligent. Finally, a Pope who gets me. It's so funny the way we make everything partisan right away, right? We have a new Pope and immediately the Republic, he's too woke. Woke Pope. And the liberals are like, no, I think he voted Republican when he was in Chicago. The new Pope, he says he does not pay attention to any of that. He takes his orders only from the Almighty and Bill Belichick's girlfriend. That is it. You know, when you're Pope, you got a direct line to the big guy up there. So, you know, his first prayer as a pope, he prayed for wisdom. He prayed for humility. He prayed and he prayed. Keep JD Vance the hell away from me. But, oh, speaking of the administration, interesting tidbit of news this week. When he was asked, I think on Meet the Press, President Trump was asked, do you have a duty to uphold the Constitution? He said, I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. Really, Word for word. I mean, isn't that kind of a main thing that they ask you at the inauguration? You know, remember that thing with the Bible and the hand and. Oh, I guess I took an oath of office. I thought it was just like one of those user agreements when you get the phone, you know, whatever, whatever. Except, no, the President has bigger things on his mind. First of all, he's very determined to go to see Les Mis. Les Miserables. No, it's at the Kennedy center, and a lot of the cast say they're not going to perform for him. He said, I'm going to go anyway. He said, I'm president, and presidents have a right to go to the theater. And besides, when did anything bad ever happen to a President going to a theater in Washington, D.C. people, they don't know their history. No, he's got bigger things on his mind. Dolls. He's obsessed with how many dolls we get to have. He said, consumers don't need 30 dolls. 30 dolls. I can barely blow up one. But no. What is it with the dolls? Three times in the last week now, three times, he has defended his tariffs. Talking about dolls first. Maybe children will have to have two dolls. And then a couple of days later, he said they're going to have three or four dolls. And then he bumped it up the next day. Five dolls. Yes. That's our deal maker in chief. Losing. Losing. An imaginary negotiation with children. Okay. But no, dolls are not the only thing we're gonna have to cut down on. Please. He also said, people don't need 250 pencils. They can have five. Well, this is really gonna put a crimp in. Pencil con. They can have five. Well, this is gonna sting. Five pencils. Cause I use a lot of pencils because it's 1960. I need. I need pencils in case I have to write my name in my hula hoop. Who has a pencil? What the fuck is it? All right, but you know what? Let's look on the bright side. It's Mother's Day Sunday, and I think. I think it is entirely that we set aside a Day to celebrate the woman who cares for our kids and has sex with dad. But enough about the nanny. How about Mother's Day, everybody? Mother's Day. All right, we got a great show. Donna Brazile and Congressman Mike Lawler are here. First up, he's the vice chair of the DNC and co founder of the Leaders We Deserve pac, David Hogg. David, how are you?
