Transcript
Bill Maher (0:00)
Zootopia 2 is coming home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case.
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Bill Maher (0:06)
New friends Gary the snake and your last name the snake Dream team and new habitat Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. Disney Zootopia 2 streaming March 11th on Disney. Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney and hulu for just $4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer. Ends March 24. After three months, Plan Auto renews at $12.99 a month term supply.
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Bill Maher (1:06)
Start the clock. Hi down there. How you doing? Thank you very much. Thank you, everybody. Thank you very much. Oh, so much to get to. I appreciate it. Yeah, I know. I missed you too. Yeah, we were. We were off last week. One week we're off. One week. I have more to catch up on. I could posit. Okay. The State of the Union happened. The address. I tell him not to do it. He did it anyway. But in the State of the Union address, Trump was bragging that he was ending wars, that the gas prices are going down. The stock market is through the roof. Jobs are doing great. Now we're in a war. Gas prices have spiked. The stock market is going down and we've lost a lot of jobs. It's like his even more evil twin replaced his usual evil twin. I don't. And this is. Republicans are very nervous about this because the big issue is affordability. Right in America right now, Republicans are sweating like Britney Spears at a traffic stop. No, it's not a good look. Losing jobs. We lost 92,000 jobs in February. Of course, Trump blames Biden and the Democrats blame Trump and Nick Fuentes blames Black History Month. Some terrible people in America, I tell you. But that's the bad News. We lost 92,000 jobs. The good news, one of them was Kristi Noem's. That's right, Kristi Noem at Homeland Security. She's finally gone. And Trump did it. Ooh, boy, he's cold. He did it by a tweet while she was making a speech. She never saw it coming. Now she knows how her dog feels. You know, Trump used to brag he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue, right? Remember all that? I guess he didn't like the fact that there were two people in the administration who could shoot people in the street and get away with it, huh? But no, apparently Trump with Kristi Noem, the distractions just became too much. She testified last week before the Judiciary Committee, I think, and even the Republicans are going after her. Apparently, it's such an open secret in Washington that she's been having an affair. I mean, her husband was sitting right behind her. But it's such an open secret that she's been having an affair with Trump's longtime henchman, Corey Lewandowski, that they were asking it. This doesn't usually happen when they ask her directly, are you fucking this guy? Really? And what she said, she said, I am shocked that we're peddling tabloid garbage in this committee. True. Also, not exactly a no. So we have a new head of Homeland Security. You'll be excited to hear about this. Mark Wayne Mullen. Yes. Mark Wayne Mullen. I say Mark Wayne Mullen's going to do it. He's a senator from Oklahoma, total election denier, former MMA fighter, so, you know, a bright guy. But he. He has pledged to continue all of the responsibilities that Kristi Noem is doing. I mean, not fucking Corey Lewandowski, but the other ones. All the other ones. So also this week, war. Did you hear about that thing? We bombed Iran, and it's going on now. Have you expected me to say I hate it? I don't. Sorry. When he puts boots on the ground. Yeah, then I'll hate it. Now I know. Too many happy Iranian Americans. Sorry. And you cannot name one horrible thing that has happened in the Middle east in the last 50 years and not connected to this fascist theocracy. They're like six degrees of. They don't eat bacon. So I'm not. And it's popular. I mean, Iranians all over the world are doing the Trump dance. Have you seen that? The whole world is jerking off two guys at once. It's amazing. Yeah, But, you know, when it comes to the war, when it comes to anything in this country, everybody assesses everything by way of, did my team do it? Then I love it. If their team did, I hate it. I mean, Kamala Harris made a statement. She said this is a war the American people don't want. And who knows more about what the American people don't want?
