Transcript
Bill Maher (0:00)
Last night you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party this morning. It'll take you two minutes to list it on Depop and make your money back.
Rahm Emanuel (0:08)
Just grab your phone, snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest.
Bill Maher (0:12)
The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again.
Rahm Emanuel (0:15)
There's a birthday girl searching for them right now.
Bill Maher (0:18)
Your one and done look is about
Rahm Emanuel (0:20)
to pay for your next night out,
Bill Maher (0:21)
or at least the ride home.
Bill Maher (0:24)
Your style can make you cash.
Bill Maher (0:26)
Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste.
Bill Maher (0:31)
From sauce to dust to nuggets. It's Taco Bell's new Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken Nuggets. Are they mild? If they were mild, we'd have to change the name to Little Rascal Nuggets or Minor Nuisance Nuggets. Definitely Diablo New Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken Nuggets. A brand new classic only at Taco Bell. Picture being down at participating U.S. taco Bell locations for a limited time and while supplies last. Welcome to an HBO podcast from the
Bill Maher (1:03)
HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Ma.
Bill Maher (1:40)
Hey, how are you? How you doing down there? Thank you, people. Thank you. You're the best. Thank you so much. I appreciate you being here. Thank you. Oh, wow. Thank you so much. So much to get. So much to get to. Listen, if you're the kind of person who only gets your news from this show, as you should so much just from week to week. I mean, a couple of weeks ago, because Iran would not open the Strait of Hormuz. You've been following this. Trump just threatened to destroy civilization, at least their civilization. Well, now we've pivoted. Okay, good.
Rahm Emanuel (2:26)
Okay.
Bill Maher (2:28)
We have a whole new plot into this. Trump said Iran can't blockade the straight of Hormuz. You know why? Because we're doing it. You cannot destroy the world economy. That's our job. So whatever. Good news, good news. Trump said today traffic is moving in the Persian Gulf and if it works there, we're going to try it on the 405. Okay, so. So Iran, I think, has called their blockade off, but our blockade is still on, which means. Oh, fuck it. Why write a joke about this? It'll be obsolete before I get to the punchline. But here's what Trump tweeted out today. This is interesting. This is word for word. He said, it has been my honor to solve nine wars and this will be my tenth. And 10 is very exciting. It means the next one is free. Also good news, Trump says that Iran has agreed to turn over their Enriched uranium. He said they agreed very powerfully to turn over their enriched uranium. Of course, the hard part here is informing Iran that they agreed to this. That is never something we know for sure. And apparently there's a peace treaty. Well, a ceasefire. Not a peace treaty, a ceasefire in Lebanon. Thank you, one lady. Between Israel and Hezbollah. Hezbollah could tell something was going on because their pagers were blowing up. Oh, I kid. Hezbollah, they're a won. So we have a ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon. We have a ceasefire between Trump and Iran. And fingers crossed, we might even have one between Trump and the Pope because that's the other. Oh, Have you seen that? They are beefing. That is a full on rap war going on between Trump and the Pope. I don't know who to vote for in this one. I really don't. I mean, I don't like the old white guy with the real estate empire, but I have my issues with Trump too. Trump, he's always going to. Trump, he's just going to. You can't stop whoever he gets into a fight with. It's always the same. So you know what he said about the Pope the other day? He's weak on crime. Yeah. Because he's not a detective in Detroit. He's weak on crime. Popes don't fight crime. Have you seen their record on pedophilia? I mean, it's not great. Well, that. I love hypocritical America. I really do. See, liberals suddenly love the Pope. The Pope, who two weeks ago was all in the headlines. You know why? Exorcisms. Yeah, this big thing about we gotta exorcism. The demons are all around the devils. That's who the fucking Pope is. Okay, A guy who does exorcism, doesn't believe in gay marriage. No women priests. But now, because he's feuding with Trump. MSNBC loves this guy. He's got a big speech on the floor from Chuck Schumer. Eric Swalwell sent him a dick pic. Oh, yes, that's big, big story here in California. The, the frontrunner for the governor was Eric Swalwell. Congressman Eric Swalwell, and he has dropped out of the race. Five women came forward now and accused him of terrible sexual stuff. He denies it, of course, but, you know, people are furious because they say this was kind of an open secret going on and why people knew this. I think they're right. I think the signals were everywhere. Like, you know how politicians always wear the flag pin. He had an eggplant emoji. I mean, So he has he has also now stepped down as a congressman. He's not even there anymore. Because, you know, it turns out first one woman comes forward, then it's four, then it's five. Turns out he hit on a lot of women. And also once in a dark cocktail lounge, Kristi Noem's husband. But that's a different. So he is completely gone. But before he left, he did apologize to the 11 million women voters in California and invited them all to his hotel room. All right, we've got a great show. We have ambassador, former ambassador Rahm Emanuel and former national security advisor. Wow. Jake Sullivan. But first up, she's an award winning podcast host's new CNN series, Kara Swisher Wants to Live Forever airs Saturday nights at 9 on CNN. Kara. Hey you. How are you? Good to see you. All right. Yeah. How you doing?
