
Real Time with Bill Maher, News, Jokes, Politics, Overtime
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Bill Maher
Welcome to an hbo podcast from the hbo late night series real time with bill ma.
Thank you very much. Thank you very much, people. I appreciate it. How you doing? Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. All right, Please, just. I appreciate it, but we have to start. It's just have to start. There's so much news to get to. I'm not even gonna tell you what happened with the Iran situation this week because you'll think it's a rerun and turn the show off. Really? I'm telling you, this is. This is not a rerun. I mean, unless they're showing it in a couple of months, then I guess it is a rerun. But it's May 29th today. That's where the day is. But every week it's the same day. We're. We're so close. We're so close. We're like that store that's been going out of business for 10 years, you know, just every week out of business. And the rhetoric is just getting uncomfortably sexual for me. We're so close. They're begging for it. They want it so bad. We're almost there. Jesus Christ, I need a cold shower after I watch Jake Tapper now. It's just ridiculous. Trump says Iran is negotiating on fumes. Yes, and we're driving on them. But a little good news, little light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time in 88 days, Iran got their Internet back. They had been living without any Internet. And everybody in the country got it and said the same thing. Spencer Pratt is going to be the mayor of Los Angeles. Just didn't know. But I tell you, due to the war and the gas prices and like nine other things. Trump's approval rating, lowest ever, 34% even underwater with white people who did not go to college. That was always his base. That's like Taco Bell losing stoners. I mean, that's. I mean, really. Losing the non college educated white people. What does he have to do, stage UFC fights on the lawn? Oh, we're doing that. I forgot. We actually are doing that. That's right. My bad. I forgot. But, oh, no, not just that. A lot of exciting things are happening back there. We're having a big 250th birthday party for America concert. They announced the lineup. Vanilla Ice. I'm not making that. Vanilla Ice. Milli Vanilli, Morris Day, Bret Michaels. I think this is very admirable about the President. It shows his concern for the unemployed. And then after they announced this all star lineup, a lot of them Said no. What are you talking about? We're not playing. That's got to hurt a lot when you can't close the deal with Milli Vanilli. And I guess we should have seen this coming, given the pattern of this administration. The Justice Department is opening criminal investigation into E. Jean Carroll, the woman who sued Trump successfully about sexual harassment and defamation. And Trump is mum on it. He says he cannot comment on an ongoing retribution. Okay, but this is such a pattern. If you cross Donald Trump, oh, my gosh, they will come after you with anything. It doesn't matter. They will find anything. They're going after E. Jean Carroll for alleged perjury and also bringing more than four items into the changing room. I mean, and, oh, here's something in the category of wow, we never used to be this country. Trump is. They're putting out a 250 with Trump's face on it. I guess it's commemorative, but I think maybe you can also, I don't know, Republicans in Congress are thrilled about it. They cannot wait to carry it in their wallet. What a switcheroo, having Trump's face next to their ass. Oh, we kid. Gentle, good funeral. Gentle, good funeral. That's all. And look, sorry I have to report this. This is horrible news. But I have to report people get their news from the show. Ebola is in Africa, and it's apparently not completely under control. Started in a gold mining town. Trump is very concerned. He asked today, is the gold. Okay, I can't. And no. But this is especially concerning because the heads of our Health Department are Bobby Kennedy and Dr. Oz. Well, they are. And there was a video of them this week. They were hanging out at Dr. Oz's house. And Bobby Kennedy is wrangling snakes. I don't know if they're pet snakes or they just found them in the garage, but there's Bobby Kennedy wrangling snakes. And I have two questions. One, is it right for the Secretary of Health and Human Services to be engaging in such risky behavior? And has Bobby ever come across an animal and just left it the fuck alone? All right, we got a great show. We have former speaker of the house Kevin McCarthy. Wow. And Katie Tur are here. But first up, he is an astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium, whose new book is called Take Me to youo Perspectives on youn first alien encounter. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. There he is. W. Hey, brother. How are you? Wow, you really brought it tonight. Wow.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
I must lead off by congratulating you on the Mark Twain Prize.
Bill Maher
Oh, thank you very much. I feel this I appreciate
Neil deGrasse Tyson
goes to people who simultaneously piss you off, inform you and make you laugh.
Bill Maher
Yeah.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
And you do this uniquely.
Bill Maher
Well, I pissed them off because I'm right. But anyway, here's the thing. But I got to get right back at you because, you know, I've read all your books, and this one, I feel like you hit your stride. I feel like they're all good. But this one, I think is your best. And I think you don't get the shine you deserve as a writer because you became a TV star. You did. And people forget that only happens because the books come first, because the real work is there. I feel like this is your best one. First of all, it's the most personal to me. It was. I mean, the fact that you, for example, say when you were a kid, you wanted to be abducted by aliens.
Kevin McCarthy
Yeah.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Oh, yeah.
Bill Maher
You really
Neil deGrasse Tyson
not to leave Earth. I mean, I like Earth, but the Bronx. It was the Bronx, New York. But it was. I just thought the immensity of the universe called to me and the only way I can get there, given the state of any science or technology on Earth, I would need help from aliens. So I wanted a beam of light to come down from the sky and take me away. Yeah.
Bill Maher
So you're disappointed that didn't happen.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yeah, kind of. A little bit. A little bit? Yeah.
Bill Maher
Even after reading what they do to people. So. All right, I'm just.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Maybe that was before I read about the body orifice.
Bill Maher
Curiosity.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
But you gotta admit, it'd be. It's odd that aliens would cross the galaxy to go look in your butthole. That would just be.
Bill Maher
No, it's not. Oh, it's not. That's where you would look, not wait up through there. That's. Medically, that's what we do. Anyway, we'd look in there before and it's. Yes.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Okay, so dogs do it. Dogs go up the butthole.
Bill Maher
No, they just sniff there. We have instruments. They have instruments. They're looking. It's not about the butthole. It's about getting inside the body through the butthole.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
What would be interesting is if the aliens had some of these dog elements to them and you greet them and the first thing they want to do is go around and sniff your butt.
Bill Maher
Let's talk.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
No, no, I'm serious. They might have habits that would be strange to us.
Bill Maher
Okay. I have so many. I knew we would get waylaid with this.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Okay, go.
Bill Maher
Because the book is so timely. We are on this precipice. I'VE done editorials about this.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
I love that editorial you did.
Bill Maher
Thank you. I appreciate it because we've talked about it.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
It was on every point.
Bill Maher
Right. And you actually say there's a near certainty that there is alien life in the galaxy. I know you're more skeptical about what we're seeing now, some of the things we've talked about that you're more skeptical about. The fact that, I mean, it has changed. The very serious people are saying these things.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
The narratives have shifted. Yes, significantly from the farmers back 40 saying he saw it floating over his crops to revelers coming out of the bar at 2am so that was decades ago. And now we have high ranking people who speaking sincerely under oath saying they've got aliens in the back shed or reverse engineered technologies, crashed saucers, alien body parts. So what it says to me is, okay, is it now too much to ask to say bring out the alien? Am I?
Bill Maher
But to who? I mean, they make the point in the documentary, the disclosure documentary we covered, they make the point that sometimes.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Age of disclosure.
Bill Maher
Yeah, age of disclosure. Sometimes not even the President who seems to have the authority, it seems to be disparate throughout the government. Even the president himself does. And I don't know what that means, but I'm not sure that that's not very possible with the way our government is.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
If there was a cover up, of course the President would be in on it. So that's not news to me that that's a possibility. All I'm saying is we have enough information to the point where if they did bring out the alien, it would be almost anticlimactic given, given what's been described about it and given how we've been treated to every possible imagined alien that you can come up with in a century of storytelling on that subject. So you know what surprised me? If they did bring out the alien and it was humanoid, because that's weird. Most life on Earth does not look human with whom we have DNA in common. We have 20, 25% identical Genesis with a banana. So an alien from another galaxy that has no genes at all should look at least as different from us as we and bananas look from each other
Bill Maher
the same.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
So be creative, Be creative. And if it actually looked humanoid, I would be shocked. But fine, I'll accept it. But I'm waiting for that to happen. And it would be anticlimactic because they've already told you it's there.
Bill Maher
It is amazing the lack of imagination that we have when we make movies and the aliens are Always. Just some variation. They look like us, but they got weird ears or they got, you know, ridges or four fingers instead of five. Something like that. It just. Did you see Project Hail Mary?
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes, I did. So that was Andy Ware, the author, also wrote the Martian, and actually he handed me my. One of my highest compliments ever. He's a software engineer turned novelist, and he was riding the Martian. There's a lot of science in that. When he was going to play loosey goosey with the physics, he imagined I was looking over his shoulder and he didn't want me tweeting about it later. So he doubled down on the science really well on the Martian with Project Hail Mary, which is kind of like an alien buddy movie a little bit.
Bill Maher
Yes. With a rock. With a rock.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Okay. Rocky. So was his name. So what I liked about it was he tried to break open the Hollywood trope of the humanoid alien. This was Craboid, and it was made of rocks and lived in a different air pressure and air compos. Ammonia atmosphere. So he's just trying to break the mold. You shouldn't fault him for doing that.
Bill Maher
No, but it still seems like whenever they go to another planet in a distant part of the universe, it still looks like San Bernardino. I mean, that was the end. Okay. All right. But I read in your book that every broadcast that we've ever made has gone into space. Like anything that was put out in the airwaves.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes.
Bill Maher
Some.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Some airwaves will go out better than others. Like FM goes straight out. Am. Remember in the old days, you could hear AM radio stations from neighboring cities, but FM you couldn't on a clear night.
Bill Maher
On a clear night, you could hear Atlanta for a minute.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes. So these are waves bouncing off one of the layers of the atmosphere. So not all waves would get out, but television would. FM would, and other sorts of radio broadcasts.
Bill Maher
Everything that's been on tv.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes.
Bill Maher
Or, you know, a speech by Hitler.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes.
Bill Maher
Has been. Is out there. Sitcoms are out there.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yes.
Bill Maher
Good show.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
The Honeymooners.
Bill Maher
There's shows out here?
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Well, not if you cable most of your life.
Bill Maher
No. I did a show on Political Being Correct was on.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
It wasn't. That's correct.
Bill Maher
Right.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
But all your cable work is. Your cable work is hidden from the aliens.
Bill Maher
But they might like my. But they might like my earlier work.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
So it's a radio bubble.
Bill Maher
You think they like me? Document.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
So there's a radio. I hear they're a little woke. No, they don't know to like or dislike. They will use you. The early signals that are available to them as a emissary of what it is to be human on Earth. Okay? Now, what preceded you was like the Honeymooners and Howdy Doody and, you know, and the Honeymooners. Remember we all laughed when Ralph Kramden threatened to punch his wife to the moon.
Bill Maher
Right.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
And that was considered funny. If the aliens first get ahold of that, I don't know what they'll think of us.
Bill Maher
I know. I mean, if they're that smart, they'll see that, and then they'll see Everybody Loves Raymond and they'll go, okay, they
Neil deGrasse Tyson
grew up, they advanced. Okay, Would like to think that. But if they did visit and really looked around the world.
Bill Maher
Yes.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
What forms most of your content in your monologue would be evidence to the alien that there's no sign of intelligent life on Earth. And is that why they're not here? Because they immediately went back home?
Bill Maher
That's one of the points I made in that editorial I did, was that we used to panic about them coming here, and now I welcome it because one of the reports said that they may have stopped. You know, they have dis. What? You're making that face up.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
No, no, I'm listening.
Bill Maher
Either they said it hovered over this air Force base and it absolutely made the nuclear missiles unable to fire. If they're doing that, I say bring it on.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Yeah. And in fact, that's the subtext of the original and the subsequent films. Day the Earth is still. The aliens found out that we had developed nuclear powers in 1951, and they said, this destabilizes the solar system and all other life forms. They came here to stop it.
Bill Maher
Right.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
So this has been a subtext for quite some time.
Bill Maher
Right. You don't want the Keanu Reeves. Sorry, but.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a different one because we were a source of biodiversity and we were destroying the. They couldn't use the nuke angle because the times had changed.
Bill Maher
All right, last question. AI. I got to ask you, what is the connection? Broad question, but AI and aliens? I mean, is there any connection? Are they. Do you think they're more present, possibly here, because we got onto AI and this worries them or it encourages them, or is there a connection?
Neil deGrasse Tyson
In the book, I make a very simple point that if AI is the exemplar of human intellect and the alien is much smarter than us, that's a pretty low bar for them to be worried. Okay? It impresses us that computers can be the sum of all of our intelligence. But if we are, if chimps are to us, what we are to aliens. Consider we have 98% identical DNA with chimps.
Bill Maher
Yeah.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
So there's a lot going on in that 2%. So imagine an alien species that's 2% beyond us in that same vector. What would we look like to them? We might be babbling chimps in their presence. And so if we say, oh, we got this AI and it's brilliant, they'll just laugh us off the street.
Bill Maher
Well, And it'd be like the chimps
Neil deGrasse Tyson
building an apparatus to reach the bananas instead of them having to stack boxes to do so. And they'd be really proud of it. And that'd be their Einstein chimp. And then we just look at that and laugh because our toddlers can do that. That's what we would look like. So the idea that let's look for other intelligent life in the universe comes with a really big assumption that we're intelligent. And who said we're intelligent? We did. Okay, well, not some exterior measure of our life form versus others.
Bill Maher
Well, I don't know. Everything I've learned about science after sixth grade, I know from you. So I'm just gonna take that as gospel. All right, I gotta get to the panel. It's always good to see you, Mike. Thank you so much. It's a great book. Everybody should read it. All right, let's meet our panel. All right, Kevin's back. All right. He's a former Republican congressman who represented California's 20th district and served as the 55th speaker of the House. And he came back to this show, Kevin McCarthy. Unbelievable. And she's the anchor of Ms. Now, as Katie Turr reports, and bestselling author of Unbelievable. Her new show, the Moment with Katie turr launches Monday, June 15th. Katie Tur, great to see you.
Thanks for having me.
Okay. All right. I want to start with Texas tonight because it's a little political news for people who don't. Junkies who follow this. There was a primary down there, and I think it tells us a lot because, you know, a lot of what I read here is just bullshit. It's just people's opinions and this and that. Elections are real. Those. That is the one thing that's real. It tells us what people are thinking and what matters to them. Okay, so they had an election, a Republican primary. John Cornyn, he was the old school. There he is. Yes. Crocker, German. Like this guy, you know, like very. What was he, a judge or something before this? Attorney general. Attorney General. And four terms. He's Republican. Classic. He lost by almost 30 points. To the nut. I'm sorry, but he is Ken Paxton,
Kevin McCarthy
the current Attorney General.
Bill Maher
The current attorney General. And this guy is writer Attila the Hun. I mean, I'll just. If you watch Ms. Now all the time, turn the sound down for 30 seconds because I'm going to tell you what he believes in and it'll blow your fucking mind. Near total abortion ban. 80% of Americans are against that. He sued five cities that decriminalized marijuana. I take that personally. Gay marriage. Said county clerks had religious objections. They could opt out of issuing them. 69% of Americans are for gay marriage. Okay, and he still won. Also an election. Denier still won by almost 30 points. Now he's going to face the Democrat. They've been saying forever a Democrat could win. Is this the time it could happen?
I mean, if you're going to talk about a perfect storm, isn't this the
moment for a perfect storm? Yes, I would put my own money that the Democrats.
Nixon is a uniquely vulnerable candidate. As you laid out. He's extremely far to the right. That's not so out of step with Texas. But at the same time, he's been accused of fraud and corruption over and over again by his own party in Texas. He's not. He's not the ideal candidate for them. You know this. John Cornyn was the ideal safe candidate. The Cook Political Report, the second that Paxton won, went from likely to lean Republican. That's a decent swing. The internal conversation. And you tell me if I'm wrong about this, cuz you probably know better than I do. $250 million to protect Paxton in that race. $250 million that can't be spent on Georgia or North Carolina or Alaska. So maybe not Texas.
Well, you're saying the Republicans have to spend that.
They have to spend that to defend Texas, to defend Paxton against James Talarico. They don't need to spend that money. Normally they can put that money elsewhere.
I mean, as Trump better than anybody knows, money doesn't really win the elections. No, Hillary outspent him by a fortune in 2016.
Okay, but in some places.
Kevin McCarthy
But if you're going to play money. Look, I like Cornyn. I thought Cornyn did a tremendous job. Came close to being something else. But there comes a point when maybe you served too long. He spent $100 million and still lost. Now remember what this is. This is a runoff from a primary, so there's fewer voters going. But he overwhelmingly lost.
Bill Maher
He lost because Trump, he owns Trump, endorsed. He voted with Trump 97% of the time. Or as Trump calls it, not good enough. And Trump wanted the other guy. But why? There's two things. So again, just one more thing and then I'll shut up. But like, again, to my point about elections, tell us things. What does this tell us? That Trump said, I throw my thunderbolt at John Cornyn and the people obey.
Kevin McCarthy
Yeah. So you're reading into Paxton. What it really means is President Trump is probably stronger than any president in our lifetime, stronger than Ronald Reagan in a Republican. There's another election that took place there that Trump. It was a chip. Roy, who was a congressman who was running for attorney general. Trump did not endorse simply by not endorsing. He lost. Ted Cruz was 100% behind him out there campaigning. The president can determine who's going to win in a Republican primary.
Bill Maher
Yeah, but is that going to win a general election?
Yeah, that's correct.
Kevin McCarthy
I will bet the Republicans win Texas,
Bill Maher
but it's going to be closer than it should be.
All right, well, let's talk about.
Kevin McCarthy
But this is the problem. You have to read into it. If Republicans are spending money in Texas, that means it's less money for Ohio, Iowa, Alaska. So that's it. And money is not equal in politics. This Democrat is raising a lot. The more money the candidate raises, the stronger you are because you get TV time at a lower rate. Paxton doesn't raise great money, so the party has to come in. But if you currently add up all the money from all the parties, Republican versus Democrat, Republicans have 800 to the Democrats, 200. Republicans may have a negative feeling. Democrats are 10 points lower. Democrats are in the hole, money wise. They put out a report that they denounce about why they lost the races. Their leaders are very unpopular. This should be a year where the Democrats have this unbelievable year and they're not going to have that. They can win.
Bill Maher
They won't have an unbelievable year. But for the redistricting that's been happening.
Kevin McCarthy
If you asked me this question a month ago, I'd say Democrats are going to win the House. Okay, now what's going to happen, though? Republicans just added nine more points. Now, I don't like this redistricting idea. My first bill in the state legislature was to put it with a commission. I like competition. When I became leader in the Republicans, Pelosi became speaker.
Bill Maher
What are you looking at me for? To stop.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
I'm just kidding.
Bill Maher
Stop them, Bill. Stop them.
Kevin McCarthy
This is what I want you to understand. Four years later, we won the majority by five seats. I picked up five More seats in California and didn't have to redraw the lines. So it makes you have better candidates, better message. You should have competition. It's the way the founders designed America.
Bill Maher
Why are you calling President Trump and telling him that?
I fought it the whole time, but
Kevin McCarthy
for the same point.
Bill Maher
For the same point.
Kevin McCarthy
Why didn't we call New Mexico when they did it? Why didn't we do Illinois when they did it? Why didn't we do in New York when they did? This has been going on by both parties for a long time. But I've called it out.
Bill Maher
That's true. And now they took it to another level. Yeah.
Kevin McCarthy
And it's going to harm the country because there's less than 20.
Bill Maher
Okay, can I get back to Texas for a second? We didn't talk about who he's running against. Paxton. Okay, so you have Attila the Hunt on this side. Then we have this guy, James Talarico. We had him on the show recently. I mean, he seemed like a nice guy. He seemed very reasonable. They're spreading rumors that he's gay or even worse, vegan in Texas. Vegan is worse. I know. I'm telling you. He said he ran a vegan campaign. He said what?
Kevin McCarthy
He's on video running a vegan campaign. That doesn't play well in Texas.
Bill Maher
No, he said some things that don't play well in Texas, like God is non binary, which if there is a
God, he's taken that back. He said it was a silly thing for him to say.
It is a silly thing to say because it just looks bad on a poster or an ad. Okay, but listen to this. So Stephen Miller of the Trump administration, right there with Attila, he said the Democrats made history by nominating their first transgender Senate candidate, that he's just pulling out of his ass. Even if they did, it should not be disqualifying. I mean, Jewish for the Democrats, yes, but not transgender. Then the Democratic Twitter account fired back, shut up, you ugly fuck. This is the official Democratic Twitter account. And then Stephen Miller's wife fired back at the woman who ran the Twitter account and said she's 30, unmarried, no kids. First of all, I love it that that's the worst insult they can think of. Everybody I know who's unmarried with no kids, you know, that's good.
You know, it's so ugly. And our politics, I mean, listen, politics has always been dirty and to a degree, but it is so much uglier now than it ever was. And there is one person that opened the door to that. The question is, how do we get it back? And especially right now, I don't think Americans. There might have been a time where people were amused by that, but they're paying $4.50 for a gallon of gas in most places. Much more here in Los Angeles, as everyone in the crowd knows. Much more here, $6.99.
But how do we get out of that?
I think you have to look for somebody that's going to help you rise above it. I mean, the Hungarian election, that happened just the other day, ousting Viktor Orban. This guy came in, he went county to county, sometimes multiple times, and he told them that the leader is corrupt. They are stealing from you, they are taking money from you. They're making your life worse. I'm going to bring this country back together. And he. He had a more inspiring message, not getting down into the. Into the mud the way that a lot of Democrats have been doing with Donald Trump. I think it's going to take somebody who comes in and finds a way to bring us all together. What about Matthew McConaughey?
Wow. He makes good movies. You knew. You said that out loud.
I know.
I've been thinking it. I thought that maybe that was just your inner voice. Hey, Matthew McConaughey. He was all right. I have to move on. I had Spencer Pratt on my podcast the other day. I think he drops. You know what? I know I'm supposed to hate him. I don't.
Kevin McCarthy
He runs great ads.
Bill Maher
Yeah. I mean, he's a nice guy. What's charming about him is he has no advisors. I mean, I confronted him on, like, you know, this and this. You're going to have to think about. No, I only care about the issues I care about, so. He's very honest about that. It's funny because he's running as a Republican and doing quite well. Everybody out here is like, what do you think? Is Benson Pratt? He's on everybody's mind. I was asking him about that. He's very un. Californian in that way for a guy who's from California. But then I found out he's actually very Californian because he sells crystals. He sells. I'm not kidding. He sells healing crystals. Which. Yeah, I mean, things like. Which look, people have gifted me with these. I should try them a little under the weather this week. Maybe I go home and sit on it. I don't know how you. But maybe they work like, this is real, like clear quartz. They say it's always a little vague. Good for amplifying energy and focusing Intentions. Amethyst promotes tranquility. Citrine invites wealth. Well, those aren't all of them. Would you like to hear the. Oh, I thought you would. There's so many crystals. There really are. And here's what some of them will do. You might want to get in on this. Like Himalayan salt. Naturalizes the dark energy in your home after your in laws watch. Tucker Carl. That could be very valuable. Sapphire clears mystical pathways that allow you to recognize when your girlfriend gets a haircut. Oh, pink calcite. That's good. Brings alignment with forces that silence your Uber driver. Oh, Opal. Very good. Helps you stay grounded when your chatbot starts blowing smoke up your ass. Tiger's eye. Absorbs negative thoughts to make showers sexy. Slightly less awkward and disappointing. Bismuth removes resonant blockages so you can read the redacted names in the Epstein files. That's. Lithium Lycortz. Harmonizes all of the natural world to make your dog shit quickly when it's raining. And Micah harnesses spiritual energy in a way that keeps your Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candle from starting a wildfire. All right, that's. I know, because we, too. So not to be picking on Donald Trump all the time, but, you know, what can I say? Even after 10 years, I must say, he does things that you'd think after all this time, we would see coming. You know, things that nobody ever did, but he still thinks of them. That a president could do that nobody did as president, but. And one of them now is suing the country that he is leading. This was the big story this week, if you don't know about it. Now, there was a crime here. I mean, somebody leaked his tax. Not just his, by the way. They leaked a lot of rich people's taxes. Tax and that. And this guy's going to jail for five years. Yeah, okay. Not supposed to do that, but a president suing his own government. So he's the. And then he settled. He settled with him. Settled with himself. A lot easier than settling with Iran, apparently. But. But he spoke. He's brought the. Would we say the sui. And the sewer? No, we're living in the sewer. I don't know. But this. Okay. So anyway, he settled, and now the money is going. Instead of what the lawsuit was, it was for $10 billion. He said, no, we don't have to do that. But the money is going to what they're calling an anti weaponization fund. A judge has already stopped it, but probably the Supreme Court will let it go through, which will Go to the people he thinks have been. Been victims of lawfare, would we call it? So that means the January 6th people. Means the January 6th people. Now, not only did they get a pardon, now they're getting paid. They're getting paid for attacking the Capitol. Is this the right incentivization, Kevin McCarthy.
Kevin McCarthy
Okay, I believe this. You can condemn the violence of January 6th and still believe some of these defendants had excess persecution and political treatment? Because I do. I do both of those. They don't automatically get any money.
Bill Maher
Give me one example of access.
Kevin McCarthy
People who were put in solitary confinement, not allowed to get out. Look, there are people on January 6th that I condemn that violence. But there were some people that were caught up, just walking through. But let me give you something else.
Bill Maher
How do you get back at your government? Were you still in Congress?
Kevin McCarthy
Yeah, I was escorted out. Okay, let me ask you this. What if your government say, you are in power, you control the presidency, you control the Senate, the other party has the House. You have an individual that wants to go after these people. So they go after the Speaker's cell phone, but they don't tell the carrier who the person is. They don't even tell the judge who the number is because when they get asked, they say, we're afraid of the person leaving the country. Even though they have 24 hour surveillance. You know who that person was? Me. So my own government went after my cell phone records. When I became speaker of the House, when I was the highest ranking Republican, never asked me for them. I'd hand them to you, but I think we have separation of powers. What recourse does anybody have? I'm not going to sue, but how do you make sure that doesn't happen to somebody else? If they would go after the speaker of the House, the second in line to the President, they can go after anybody. And if they can lie to the judge and say, I can't tell you who the number is because I'm afraid this person's going to leave the country. I think we're stretching.
Bill Maher
Was this in regards to investigating January 6th, but they didn't get the information in your conversations. It was just the calls that were made between you and the White House that they were talking about?
Kevin McCarthy
No, they went for the whole month. They never told me. They never asked for.
Bill Maher
But they didn't get the content of the call, did they?
Kevin McCarthy
But why do they have the right to my number as is?
Bill Maher
But weren't they investigating Donald Trump and they were just trying to find out what he did on that day? And the sequence of events and he just happened oddly call.
Kevin McCarthy
Why do they ask for the whole month and why do they wait till the the highest ranking Republican, the Speaker of the House, the second in line to the presidency. And you think not even asking him for it. But you lie to a judge whose number it is, you lie to the carrier who it is and then when you get asked about it. Well, we had to lie to you because we were afraid they would leave the country. That's a concern with all the power that prosecutor had.
Bill Maher
So if the administration wanted to say okay, we don't think that was fair and this is what we're going to
Kevin McCarthy
look into or did they hide it? How do they ever find it out?
Bill Maher
If they're talking about this administration, then why are they not saying we want to create this fund but the January 6 rioters, the ones who beat up cops, are not allowed to apply for this. Why not put a structure around, guardrails around.
Kevin McCarthy
I think you have three questions here. Okay.
Bill Maher
And why pardon all of them blanketly?
Kevin McCarthy
Well, okay be pardoned.
Bill Maher
Right.
Kevin McCarthy
I don't. That's a difference of opinion. We're going to have it. No, I have a difference of opinion on what happened on January 6. But the first thing that has to happen is who is allowed to get recourse from this, who makes that decision, who, what type of money does it come from and does Congress authorize it? I think that's the criteria.
Bill Maher
I think you're bringing it to a different place. What is making this so insane for a lot of people is that the January 6 rioters are clearly who this is intended for because the administration keeps saying of course they're allowed to apply. We're going to consider each case. They're not saying people like Patrick or I'm sorry, David Dempsey, who stomped on an officer's head, went on an hour long rampage beating up officers using metal poles, pepper spray, broken furniture to go after cops sentenced to 20 years in prison. Donald Trump pardoned him and now we're going to pay him.
Kevin McCarthy
Nothing says but nothing says you're excited.
Bill Maher
Nothing says we're going to pay him. Nothing says we're going to pay him. You can set up the criteria.
Why is the administration not saying of course we're not going to pay this guy. Of course we're not going to pay Andrew Paul's.
Kevin McCarthy
They're not making prejudging who was molesting
Bill Maher
children and telling them the president does
Kevin McCarthy
not get get to decide who is
Bill Maher
the president gets to dismiss any one of These panelists, if he so chooses. So how does he not get to
Kevin McCarthy
be the settlement is debated. How you get a $10 billion lawsuit settling here. I think the Senate is correct. But if you're asking the criteria.
Bill Maher
But it doesn't make sense that they would not put any guardrails on the panel.
Kevin McCarthy
It doesn't make sense. They wouldn't say Democratic panel.
Bill Maher
They wouldn't say a judgment.
Kevin McCarthy
No, it doesn't make sense that Biden didn't just go after my cell phone numbers. Went after a number of Republican senators, too. Didn't go after any Democrat. And then didn't ask them. Didn't ask them and didn't tell us. We had to find out after we took the majority.
Bill Maher
But let me ask a political question. Yes. Because I'm starting to get bored. Does this kind of thing hurt him? I mean, his approval rating is the lowest ever. I feel like that that's because the people, even his people, sense there's just so much self dealing, so much stuff. LikeI mean stock trades. Money managers for the president made more than 3,700 trades in the first quarter, including, for example, Nvidia on January 6th. And coincidentally, a week later, they cleared Nvidia to sell chips to China, which we always said was something we really shouldn't do. You know, China, not exactly our best friends. I mean, stuff like that.
Kevin McCarthy
I mean, look, I never traded one stock, individual stock, when I was a member.
Bill Maher
I'm not talking about you.
Kevin McCarthy
I know, but I don't think. But I watched Nancy Pelosi do quite well. I don't think any member should trade stock. And I don't think they should be able to.
Bill Maher
Okay. I'm just. I'm just saying something like this, you know, I mean, look, I know Martha Stewart's pissed.
Kevin McCarthy
The thing that hurts the most is the price of gas is going to determine a lot what's going to happen in this election. Where's the price of gas going to be? Where's the economy at? And people are going to have questions, but that's rightfully so. Why the Republicans in the Senate are asking the questions they're asking.
Bill Maher
I think 49% of the population uses the word corrupt around Donald Trump. They see it. They're not comfortable with it.
Yeah, I think they do. I think they see that there's always a side deal. There's always something for the feminine. It looks like he has this idea in his head like, I'm doing this job. I could be just relaxing in Mar a Lago. But I'm Doing this job, I got to wet my beak a little.
It's not a little.
No, it's not pouring the whole swamp on it. Well, in his mind, maybe it's a little.
How does the Republican Party run against that? I don't. They're not doing well right now in the polls, and I know Democrats aren't doing well either. But the Democrats will have the opportunity to see, say, Donald Trump is self dealing. Look at these stock trades. They'll have the opportunity to say that.
Kevin McCarthy
I want to see Nancy Pelosi make that argument. I would love to see her.
Bill Maher
Nancy Pelosi is not.
Kevin McCarthy
Nancy Pelosi is the leader. Yes, she is.
Bill Maher
She's not the leader.
Kevin McCarthy
She still tells cotton freezes. Really?
Bill Maher
Yeah.
Kevin McCarthy
You ever been to the floor and watched? I don't think Hakeem.
Bill Maher
So the Republicans are going to continue to run against Nancy Pelosi? That's the strategy?
No.
Kevin McCarthy
I look forward to Nancy retired.
Bill Maher
I don't know. We're in the majority, though. All right, I have one final issue. I want to get to the Pope. Whenever me and the Pope agree on something, I feel like there's something with the planets going on. I don't know what it is, but, I mean, I've been all over this AI thing. I said a few weeks ago, a month. I don't know when it was, but I said, like, of all the issues I've ever covered, this is the one I find literally the most alarming. When the father of AI, Geoffrey Hinton, says it is a 10 to 20% possibility of an extinction event. An extinction event. And the Pope is on my page. The Pope put out an encyclical and artificial intelligence needs to be disarmed, he said. Also, I thought, really interesting. The commencement addresses are going on at colleges right now around the country, and people got some rude awakenings who were doing the speaking because they thought, ah, the kids. Kids love new stuff. I'll bring up AI. Boo. The kids are booing AI. The kids don't like. They get it that they're going to take all their jobs. Yeah.
I mean, listen, you have all these tech CEOs, these AI CEOs coming out and saying 20% of the jobs are going to be gone. This is going to change everything. You're not going to need workers. Well, how do you expect the population to confront that and to accept it also, we can end the world. Okay, great. Let's keep going.
What is the plan? You're right. Dario Amodi, he's the CEO of Anthropic. Unemployment, he says could spike to 10 to 20%. That's what it was in the depression. 20%. Ford CEO said AI will leave a lot of white collar people behind. Could replace half of all white collar workers.
Kevin McCarthy
I mean.
Bill Maher
And what is the plan? I don't get it. It's like, oh, well, no one will work anymore, but. So we'll give them a universal basic income. With what if they don't work? That money has to come from the government. How are they going to get it to the government if the people aren't paying taxes?
I think Kevin will agree with this. I think people want. It's not even just a universal basic income in the way that doesn't make sense. People want a purpose. They don't want to sit around and do nothing. They want to do something with their lives.
They want to feel like they're useful. I don't know. A lot of them don't.
No, I think they do. I think that's cynical.
Well, I think there's 7 million young men who are not unemployed. They're not working. But it's unemployed is you want to work and you can find a job. Seven million people who are just what they call nilf. Not in the labor force, not working, not looking. So not all of them think this is a bad thing.
Kevin McCarthy
But you want it centered. Look, we're living through an industrial revolution. It's going to be faster than we watched before. Our policies are not keeping up with it. This is going to be a real challenge for all the fear you have of AI. There's also positive things that can happen, of course. So I think what you really need, you need the policymakers to get ahead of this. Create a formation that you still allow AI to grow here in America, but have the same protections at the time. But there is going to be disruption, and you ought to acknowledge it and find the policies ahead of time to get ahead of it.
Bill Maher
All right, we'll have to leave it there. It's time for new rules, everybody. New rules. Thank you. Okay. All right, Nuru. Now that Spirit Airlines is no longer with us, Allegiant Airlines, Frontier Airlines and JetBlue must all participate in a new reality competition called America's Next Top Terrible Airline, Where the pilots say, I'm not here to make connections. That's right. America's Next Top Terrible Airline. Flight attendants, prepare the cabin for sucking. Neural. The makers of this $10,000 toilet have to tell us what's happening in this picture. I get that this smart toilet represents Kohler's commitment to blending artistry with innovation, offering homeowners a contemporary aesthetic that complements diverse styles and elevates everyday spaces. But why outside? I mean, other than that, you totally have me. I mean, my God. It seamlessly fuses sculptural beauty with effortless functionality to embody a work of art made to empower self expression and elevate the bathroom experience. Plus, you can shit in it. New rule. Before visiting the New Jersey doctor who claims he can increase the girth of your penis by injecting it with filler made from the belly fat of dead people, consider that you might be creating an even bigger problem. Sure. You sure? You have a little more self confidence. But now your dick is haunted. New rule. The onlyfans models who are upset at Sydney Sweetie's portrayal of one of them on Euphoria must be honest about why they're upset. It isn't because she's inaccurately portraying the onlyfans industry or mocking the women who do it, or setting back the cause of sexual liberation. It's because she's doing the same thing you do with better tits. New rule. Someone has to tell the woman who's racked up over 1 million views with this video of a mysterious creature lurking in her back alley. That's a tree. I thought I smoked a lot of weed. All right. And finally, new rule. The next time the Democrats need an auto, they have to hire an actual coroner because he or she couldn't do worse than the gutless stiffs they have doing it now. You probably heard the party released their autopsy on the November 2024 laws last week. In May of 2026. Because the Democrats are like Don Corleone, they insist on hearing bad news immediately. Oh, nobody remembers the movie. What a shame. You ought to check it out. It's very good. Well, I've spent a good part of my life trying to get straight answers out of politicians, and I gotta. I gotta tell you, while they're in office, you kind of have to trick them. This statement from the administration. The president had the constitutional authority to direct the use of military force because he could reasonably determine that such use of force was in the national interest. That's too vague for you. Totally vague. Okay, because that's from Obama, and he's one of the good ones. But you know when politicians get super honest when they're retiring or even better, dying, and especially when they're dying politically, if you're at 4% in the polls. Oh, goodbye bullshit. Hello, Bullworth. Make you talk. We can't get you to shut up then. I see it here all the time. Politicians who are intransigent partisans or lackey water carriers. And then they're out of office. And it's read my book where I say all the things I should have said but didn't during my 500 years in office. Recently, the press has gotten very excited about some Republican senators who've had just about enough of Trump's shenanigans. Yeah, cuz they're retiring. Like Senator Thom Tillis. Ooh, Thom's mad. Tom is mad. These days, as we were previously discussing, the January 6th rioters are now going to get paid for participating in the lucrative new field of insurrecting. And Thom Tillis is all over the news now saying this is stupid on stilts. Suddenly, Thom doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. You can tell by his tie. Same with Senator Bill Cassidy, who lost his primary. So now he found the courage to say the words slush fund. And Mitch McConnell, who coincidentally also has nothing to lose, goes even further and says it's a slush fund to pay people who assault cops and that it's utterly stupid and morally wrong. And for once he means in a bad way. And that's progress. I guess I just wish he talked that way when he was alive. These guys are all the same. They're like this serial killer who's about to get the chair. So he figures, what the hell, I might as well tell the cops about the other 20 girls I buried in the woods. Republican Lee Atwater and Democrat George Wallace were both lifelong racists who somehow found the courage late in life to renounce those beliefs. And when I say late in life, I mean after they got shot and after they received a diagnosis of inoperable brain cancer, two term President General Dwight Eisenhower delivered one of the most important messages a president has ever uttered when he said, we should beware the military industrial complex. He said it forcibly, he said it clearly, and he said it three days before he left office. He's the guy who yells fuck you as the elevator door closes. You know, maybe instead of asking, what would Jesus do? People should ask, what would I do if I were in hospice? A frequent guest of this show, who I always called my favorite congressman, was in hospice recently. Barney Frank died this month. But on the way out he said, I want to use my unfortunate situation to say something that I think is very important. He said, the key to liberal democracy being able to come back is to get rid of the perception that we have allowed to grow, that the Entire Democratic Party is committed to a series of very drastic social reconstructions that go beyond the politically acceptable. And there in one sentence is the autopsy the Democrats have been so desperately searching for. From a guy who delivered it right before he needed one himself. It sounds a lot like what Obama said after he left office. The average American doesn't think we have to completely tear down the system and remake it. They just don't want to see crazy stuff. Is this really so hard a message for Democrats to say there's a Democrat who's running for governor here in California now? Who's saying it? San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan. Yeah, because he's at 4% in the polls. Everybody has been calling me lately saying, you gotta have this guy on. He's the sensible Democrat we've been looking for. To which I tell them, one, this is a national show. It's not all about you and your life in California. Two, how did you get this number? And three, what's his plan to get the leaf blowers to shut the fuck up in the morning. But also, you're right, he does sound sensible because he's at 4%. That's when everybody's brave. If he got to 40%, would he still be saying as he does say, we need Democratic leaders in California who are willing to say no to their friends. That would be the unions, the bureaucrats, the lawyers, the consultants, the regulators, and all the special interest friends who make living in this state such a frustrating, maddening experience. It's why the railroads don't get built, the potholes don't get fired, the homeless don't get housed, the kids don't learn. Did you know that a black fourth grader in Mississippi is two and a half times as likely to be proficient in math and reading as 1 in California? Mississippi is kicking our ass in education and for way less money. We're 37th in fourth grade reading, they're ninth. Texas is kicking our ass in green energy. The average time to get solar panels Connected There is three to four months. About 1,000 days. Faster than it took me. Remember when I was trying to get my solar hooked up? It would have been quicker to build a windmill. So Texas has passed California in solar and blows away California when it comes to wind and energy storage. How does a state with no pro climate policies produce better climate results than a state? We're here even though we have so much better stickers on our bumper. Bumper stickers on our Priuses. You know what I'm saying? I'll tell you why. Because you're allowed to build there because every third person in Texas isn't someone whose job it is to make sure nothing gets done. Democrats, these are your issues. Education, race, the environment. And I say this with love. You're losing to the Waffle House car on the lawn states. All right, that's our show. I want to thank my guests, former speaker Kevin McCarthy, Katie Turd and Neil DeGrasse. Tyson Club Random drops every Monday on YouTube, where. Listen, Mervey, you got your podcast. Now go watch Overtime on YouTube. And I thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.
Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10 or watch him anytime on HBO on Demand. For more information, log on to hbo.com.
Date: May 30, 2026
Host: Bill Maher
Guests: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Kevin McCarthy, Katy Tur
Theme: A witty dissection of current American politics, the nature of intelligent life, AI’s threat, and the state of the two major US parties, with signature Maher irreverence.
This episode of Real Time with Bill Maher navigates a characteristically sharp, satirical journey through the week’s biggest headlines. The show features a thought-provoking interview with astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson (00:41–19:04), followed by a lively, sometimes combative panel discussion with former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy and journalist Katy Tur. Key topics include the ever-unfolding state of the GOP, America’s cultural drift, alien life, AI’s risks, and the soul-searching Democratic Party after its recent defeat.
“Losing the non college educated white people — what does he have to do, stage UFC fights on the lawn? Oh, we’re doing that.” (Bill Maher, 02:15)
Book Praise and Personal Connection (07:38)
“The immensity of the universe called to me... I would need help from aliens. So I wanted a beam of light to come down from the sky and take me away.” (Tyson, 08:22)
Skepticism on Recent Alien Disclosure Claims (10:06)
“It’s odd that aliens would cross the galaxy to go look in your butthole.” (Tyson, 09:03)
The Radio Bubble: Humanity’s Signal to the Universe (14:15)
“If they did visit and really looked around the world... there’s no sign of intelligent life on Earth.” (Tyson, 16:11)
AI and Cosmic Intelligence (17:22)
“If we are to aliens what chimps are to us... our Einstein chimp... toddlers could do that.” (Tyson, 18:35)
“President Trump is probably stronger than any president in our lifetime, stronger than Ronald Reagan in a Republican [primary].” (McCarthy, 23:34)
“There is one person that opened the door to that.” (Maher, 27:50)
Trump Suing the US Government
Stock Trades and Self-Dealing
Political Brand Damage
“The key to liberal democracy being able to come back is to get rid of the perception … the entire Democratic Party is committed to a series of very drastic social reconstructions that go beyond the politically acceptable.” (final monologue)
“You’re losing to the Waffle House car-on-the-lawn states.” (final monologue)
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 00:41–07:19 | Opening Monologue: Satire on US news/politics/trump | | 07:19–19:04 | Interview: Neil deGrasse Tyson – aliens, AI, the cosmos | | 19:04–25:47 | GOP Texas Primary, Paxton vs Cornyn, money, Trump power | | 25:47–29:11 | Toxic political rhetoric, culture war moments | | 29:11–41:17 | Trump, January 6th, corruption, self-dealing | | 41:17–44:26 | Artificial Intelligence, societal risk and policy | | 44:26–end | “New Rules” & Maher’s monologue: Dem autopsy, leadership|
The episode maintains Bill Maher’s unmistakably acerbic, comedic, and skeptical tone. Tyson’s segments infuse accessible science with wry observational humor. The panel discussion is energetic, occasionally combative, but consistently rooted in realpolitik and social critique. Moments of levity (“vegan in Texas… is worse”), irreverence, and snark balance serious points about American self-perception and the consequences of political polarization.
For those who missed the episode, this discussion is a brisk, sharp-witted tour of America’s existential crossroads — from the search for alien life and the hazards of AI, to the never-ending GOP civil wars, the challenges of honesty in politics, and a wide-ranging critique of the Democratic Party’s place in today’s culture. Tyson provides cosmic perspective; Tur and McCarthy spar over the shifting sands of the 2026 election; Maher keeps the proceedings equal parts smart and biting.