Loading summary
Transcript243 lines
- [00:00]
Monica Lewinsky
Wondery subscribers can listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky early and ad free right now. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Hi everyone. For today's episode, I had the absolute pleasure of talking with my hilarious, bold and endlessly evolving friend Chelsea Handler. You probably know her as a comedian, author and TV host, but beyond the laughs, she's someone who's done the deep personal work of growth and self discovery. In our conversation, we get into her journey with therapy, her mission to uplift women, and how she's learning that strength isn't just about being tough, it's about being open. I hope you find something in our chat to connect to and thanks for joining us on Reclaiming. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Audible. Love getting lost in heart pounding stories. Audible delivers thrills of every kind. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat today. Sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com reclaiming thank you to our exclusive fashion partner, Reformation. I honestly can't tell you how many of their pieces have become my go to favorites. Their sweaters have this incredible way of being both polished and comfortable. And in fact, when we recorded my own Reclaiming story for the podcast, I was wearing the same reformation sweater as the producer interviewing me, but thankfully we had the Clara on in different colors. Their clothes work for all moments in my life. Whether it's a casual day out or a more formal occasion, I always find myself reaching for my Reformation pieces. Visit reformation.com to see why they're one of my favorite brands for stylish and sustainable fashion. Hi.
- [02:01]
Chelsea Handler
Oh hi friend. I'm very honored to be here. I'm very happy about your success.
- [02:05]
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you.
- [02:06]
Chelsea Handler
Congratulations.
- [02:07]
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you. Thank you. You too. On your new book, I'll have you.
- [02:10]
Chelsea Handler
This is my book that debuted as number one on the New York Times bestseller list, so I'm so proud of it. Yeah, I just, I'm so happy. And it's a love letter to women.
- [02:20]
Monica Lewinsky
And then you also have this new Netflix special, the Feeling.
- [02:23]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [02:23]
Monica Lewinsky
Which is great.
- [02:24]
Chelsea Handler
Which is also a love letter to women and some other people and some.
- [02:28]
Monica Lewinsky
Parts of your body.
- [02:29]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, ye, exactly.
- [02:30]
Monica Lewinsky
But I. It's so funny because I want to talk about both of those, but I was thinking I had this crazy experience two days ago and I want to share it with you and then get your thoughts, advice and all sorts of things, which is I had dinner with friends two nights ago after this thing happened. Was telling them I Came out of a store in a shopping area. I was picking something up, doing a bunch of returns, had a bunch of shopping bags walk out of the store. And this like, normal looking, attractive guy says, oh, looks like it's been a good shopping day. And I was like, oh, yeah, it has. And then he said to me, he said, well, what do you like to do when you're not shopping? And I, I totally. I froze and I started to panic and I was like, oh, oh, his phone. Maybe he's tmz. Then I was like, maybe he's the secret shopper and he's just trying to ask people who are coming out of these stores what they're doing. And so I didn't answer. And we're walk. And I. I didn't answer. So finally he sort of laughs and says, well, maybe, yeah, I guess you don't really do anything. And I was like, no, no, no. And instead of waiting at the corner with him, I turned and went the opposite direction of where I was going. I was so panicked, I opened my phone, phone camera, turn it around, facing me to make sure he's not following me. This is like my level of whatever.
- [03:52]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [03:52]
Monica Lewinsky
I tell my two girlfriends at dinner and they start laughing at me because they're saying he was hitting on me. And I don't. I was like, no, no. And they said a secret shopper would not just be.
- [04:05]
Chelsea Handler
First of all, who runs into secret shoppers? That's not. I mean, I know that's a thing, but like the idea that that's what popped into your mind, that this might be a secret shopper.
- [04:14]
Monica Lewinsky
TMZ or secret shopper.
- [04:15]
Chelsea Handler
I know. I mean, that's like PTSD for sure. No, he sounds like he was interested and hitting on you. And you better open up. You better open your heart and mind to the possibility of meeting men.
- [04:30]
Monica Lewinsky
Do you meet men like that?
- [04:32]
Chelsea Handler
Men? Do I meet men like that? No, not really. But that's a way for people to meet men. Is, is it is because if you got into a regular conversation and you were friendly, like, who cares if that was on tmz? You're just saying hello to somebody who cares. Anyway, he's not catching you doing something.
- [04:51]
Monica Lewinsky
Right?
- [04:52]
Chelsea Handler
Right. You know, like, I mean, if you see a camera. Yes, of course. Then you're like, I'm out of here.
- [04:56]
Monica Lewinsky
Right, right.
- [04:56]
Chelsea Handler
But you have to be more open minded and not be living in such a fearful place. I would say that about everything in life. Like, we cannot live in fear because fear limits. Limits the possibilities of what can happen. You can't be an idiot and walking around with your head in the clouds. But don't always come from a place of fear. Come from a place of curiosity, is what I like to think.
- [05:18]
Monica Lewinsky
So interesting. I mean, I also spent yesterday's therapy session talking about it because I was thinking too, about just being like, how closed I am about that. How. Why was my first reaction fear. And especially, he was like, very attractive guy. My friends were joking, we have to do a Lost connections or whatever that thing is called in the paper.
- [05:36]
Chelsea Handler
And I was lost.
- [05:38]
Monica Lewinsky
I know. Listen, handsome man on the street, if you're listening to my podcast. Well, it's interesting. So what you're just saying kind of makes me think about. There was one of the essays in your new book, I'll have what She's Having, where you use this phrase that just resonated with me so much, and it was, quote, unquote, cracked open that you got cracked open. Do you know what I'm talking about?
- [06:01]
Chelsea Handler
That. That could either be related to my. My therapist or to Jo Koy. Oh, something. I. I can't remember both.
- [06:08]
Monica Lewinsky
I mean, but I think. I mean, the one I'm thinking about was really around your therapist and sort of this whole kind of emotional and spiritual journey that you've. I hate the word journey, but I do, too.
- [06:20]
Chelsea Handler
But, you know, not journey, but journey. Where are we going to find a replacement word for journey? Is really the question of this.
- [06:25]
Monica Lewinsky
That person should get a Nobel Prize.
- [06:27]
Chelsea Handler
The same person who came up with DocuSign should come up with something to replace the word journey. Because whoever came up with DocuSign, I want to date that man. And it's probably a woman, so you know what I mean? Obviously.
- [06:37]
Monica Lewinsky
Right. Well, you could.
- [06:38]
Chelsea Handler
You could date her. Yeah, I could. I could. At some point, I will have to transition into a lesbian. I mean, just the writing is on the wall, you know, and they're ready to welcome me with open arms. But, yes, cracked open, in a sense with regard to therapy. Absolutely. I felt cracked open. I felt like somebody. It was an egg that was, you know, I was like a frozen egg almost in the tundra. And going to therapy with Dan Siegel was probably the best medicine I could have ever given myself to create the happiness in which I sit in today. Like, it took a long time. It was not attractive. It was not. I did not look forward to going to therapy two or three times a week for the two years that I went.
- [07:21]
Monica Lewinsky
Good for you.
- [07:22]
Chelsea Handler
It was arduous, and it was not something I'd ever want to do again. But I treated it like I was getting my master's degree in psychology and myself.
- [07:30]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [07:31]
Chelsea Handler
And like, I was like, I'm going to learn as much as I can. I'm going to take this all with me, and I'm going to be the best student that he's ever seen. Because I didn't. I wasn't ever a good student. I barely graduated from high school. I did, but it was tricky. I wasn't interested.
- [07:45]
Monica Lewinsky
Do you think you weren't stimulated enough?
- [07:47]
Chelsea Handler
No, I wasn't. I was rebellious. And I was an angry, angry teenager. And I was mad at my father. I was mad at my brother who died. I was mad at everybody. And that I had no avenue to get rid of that pain. I didn't see a therapist. And I had all of this delayed grief, delayed anger that didn't really bubble up to the surface until I hit 40. And that's when everything kind of went sideways. And I was not myself. And I felt unsure of myself. And I felt insecure for the very first time in my life, like, unsure of my footing. And so that was a scary time. And the only I had to reach out to someone because I didn't have the tools to get myself better. And what I discovered from going for two years was everything I needed to make my life better and to get rid of any behavior that was hurtful to others or to myself and to really have a more self awareness about my actions, why I react certain ways, and to deal with the trauma of losing my brother. Like, I had never allowed myself to be vulnerable.
- [08:49]
Monica Lewinsky
You were nine, right, when Chen passed?
- [08:52]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. So when I say cracked open, it's like I would go into therapy and I would be so, like, he's not gonna make me cry. Like, that was his agenda. You know what I mean? Which it kind of was. Cause you have to cry to get better.
- [09:05]
Monica Lewinsky
The Barbara Walters.
- [09:06]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. Yeah. Well, a little bit. A little different style.
- [09:09]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [09:10]
Chelsea Handler
Can you imagine if Barbara Walters was your therapist?
- [09:13]
Monica Lewinsky
Well, my first interview ever was with her.
- [09:15]
Chelsea Handler
I know, I know, I know. And she's like, you're in. I remember being interviewed by her and she's reading her. Like she barely looks at you sometimes. And then she comes out with a zinger and you're like, ah, well, then.
- [09:26]
Monica Lewinsky
Also the stack of cards. And you just go, oh, God, this is like, you know, Exactly.
- [09:31]
Chelsea Handler
You're like, I'm taking an exam about myself.
- [09:33]
Monica Lewinsky
Right.
- [09:34]
Chelsea Handler
She's like, chelsea, do you hate your father?
- [09:36]
Monica Lewinsky
Like, well, it's interesting because we. I Got to chat with Beanie Feldstein recently, and she was talking about how she's been become a counselor at this grief camp. And she lost her brother a handful of years ago. And so she was saying that what she learned at the camp was that when someone has experienced the death or loss, that instead of asking how they passed, to ask how. Who the person was.
- [10:03]
Chelsea Handler
Right.
- [10:04]
Monica Lewinsky
And so who. Who was your brother?
- [10:06]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, my brother was. Thank you for asking that. I haven't spoken about his. Him in a long time. So he was the oldest and I was youngest, and we're six kids in our family, so we were like bookends. He would take me everywhere. We would drive to Martha's Vineyard every summer. We would drive to the ferry in Woods Hole and take the ferry over to Martha's Vineyard, and he would wrap me up. And I love cold air. I've always been a cold air person. I like, want the windows open.
- [10:28]
Monica Lewinsky
I want sleep at night, freezing.
- [10:30]
Chelsea Handler
I want. If I'm in a hotel room, that has to be. Air conditioning has to be blasting. I don't like stiff. Like, you know, I need circulation. And so every. So he would take me in his car. I forget what kind of car it was. It was like one of those two door, like, I want to say, like, whatever.
- [10:44]
Monica Lewinsky
Cool dude cars.
- [10:45]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, it was like a cool dude car. And we would drive the five hours up to Martha's Vineyard, and he would wrap me up in these blankets and keep both of the windows down the whole drive. And he would. And then I would look over and he'd be like, it's freezing. It's freezing. But he was just, you know, humoring me. And whenever we got to where we were going, like if we drove back from the Vineyard, I always wanted to go with Chet. It was like me and Chet would drive together. And whenever we got back from the Vineyard, we'd pull into our driveway in Livingston, New Jersey, and I would always pretend to be asleep, and he always knew that I was pretending to be asleep. So he'd pick me up out of the car and walk up our driveway, and he'd be like, she's pretending to be asleep. She's pretending to be. And then he put me down in my bed. Like, he took such care of me, you know, he was the oldest of our whole family, so we all looked up to him and he was just, just, just perfect, you know, in your mind after you lose someone at that young age. Obviously we canonize those people who are close to us, and that's how I felt about him. It felt like we lost our leader.
- [11:41]
Monica Lewinsky
Mm. Did he feel. I mean, it sounds almost like what you're talking about are the sort of feelings you wanna have with your dad. That paternal feeling of this sort of first man for you is safe and warm and all those things. And so was that. Did you have that relationship with your dad before and Chet. Or. Chet was like the main.
- [12:03]
Chelsea Handler
I had it with my whole family before Chet died. It was like, yeah, like, Chet was fun. You know, he was like. He wasn't the parent. He was the older brother. So it was like that dynamic was you could go to him and, you know, if you. If. If. Like, I remember my brothers and sisters would go to him when they couldn't deal with my parents about something, and he would be the mediator. And he was. He was in. He was a mechanic. Like, he could fix things. And he was only, like, 19 or 20 when I remember him just being in the garage all the time fixing cars. My dad was a car dealer, so my brother was always kind of helping him out. But my brother would kind of roll my eye. His eyes at my father because my father was ridiculous, and my brother would just. Was. He was kind of like the cooler parental unit.
- [12:43]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [12:44]
Chelsea Handler
So. Yes. But my dad and I had a very loving, close relationship before my father. Before my brother died. When my brother died, my father really fell apart.
- [12:55]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay, so was that for your dad as well? Sort of that.
- [12:59]
Chelsea Handler
Well, his first born.
- [13:00]
Monica Lewinsky
Right.
- [13:00]
Chelsea Handler
You know, and I think the firstborn. The kid that makes you a parent, you know, like, I think that has a huge. There's a huge connection there. It's like, your oldest is always your. Like, you taught me how to parent. But so when. When he died, then that was pretty. You know, obviously, it was. Our world was upended, and my dad never really recovered from that. To him, it was almost like ego. There was some ego part of it.
- [13:27]
Monica Lewinsky
Like, oh, that's interesting.
- [13:28]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, I don't know if that's true. That's how it appeared. Like, he just couldn't believe he lost his firstborn. Like, that's my son. He could take my son. I'm gonna blame everyone I can and sue everybody. Like, he. You know, like, it was just nonsense. Like, he couldn't get over the fact that, like, he was gone and we needed to move on and he had five other children. Whereas my mother was understanding of, okay, now we have to focus on these five kids.
- [13:53]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. Do you think any of his reaction had to do just the generational stuff of men not Sort of being socialized to get in touch with their emotions or that's just who he was.
- [14:06]
Chelsea Handler
He was very emotional. That was one of the. That kind of. I remember seeing him cry for the first time. Never seen. My dad was big and strong and very masculine, and I'd never seen him cry. And I remember sitting shiva at our house after my brother passed away. And people were bringing up over all this, like, pastrami and roast beef and corned beef. And I just remember looking at all this disgusting food thinking, why do these people keep bringing us corned beef? Because we're juice. Yeah. I learned then that.
- [14:33]
Monica Lewinsky
I'm sorry.
- [14:34]
Chelsea Handler
No. But, yeah, we are Jews. That's why. But I just was like, this does. This isn't commensurate with death. Like, this doesn't make sense to me. I remember watching it all and all these people coming in. And then there was this scene with my dad on the sofa in our living room, and all of these strangers, our neighbors and other people were over people I didn't really know well. And my dad was just bawling and crying and shaking. And I remember thinking, what are you doing? What are you doing? Pull yourself together. You're the father. Like, we just lost the brother, and now what are you doing? Like, I didn't understand that he was allowed to cry or, you know, I was embarrassed. I was like, oh, my God, now you're gone, too. Like, to me, it felt like.
- [15:23]
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, so it was scary to you as a kid? That was scary. That's really interesting. Yeah.
- [15:28]
Chelsea Handler
Destabilizing.
- [15:29]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, I could totally see that.
- [15:31]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [15:32]
Monica Lewinsky
I wanna ask you something that just came up for me. And we're both. I'm older than you, but we're now in our 50s, and you've sort of very confidently always talked about not wanting to have kids. And I've always wanted to have kids. And so it's like, I've always admired your knowingness and being so comfortable. And if this feels too personal, you don't have to. Personal for me. But I just. It just came up for me.
- [16:00]
Chelsea Handler
Do you.
- [16:01]
Monica Lewinsky
Is there any part of you that thinks that maybe you decided to not have kids from watching with your brother passing, watching what that did to your parents and to your family and that. That would be too painful to ever.
- [16:14]
Chelsea Handler
Lose a kid, I'm sure. I mean, I've thought about that subconsciously. I'm like, why am I so. Why is there no wiggle room? Like, there's never been a serious consideration in my history of wanting to have children. Like, you know, and I have thought about that, and perhaps that is true. I'm not sure, but I definitely would love to skip that pain. You know what I mean?
- [16:36]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's interesting because for me, I tell myself, you know, sometimes I. I will tell myself when I'm feeling sad about not having had kids, that I'm like, well, what if I'm actually being protected? You know, what if I would have had a child who died young? Or what if I would have, you know, had a child who, like, had a child who caused a global disaster or something awful? I had a scandal. But, I mean, it's not the same thing. But the sort of stories I would tell myself is that maybe I'm being protected. And I don't realize that. And so it's just. I just. I hadn't thought about that. In getting ready to talk to you, I hadn't made that connection at all. But I also like hearing you talk about Chet.
- [17:16]
Chelsea Handler
Yes, I hear what you're saying, and it's a great question. I also want to say this about not having children when you want to have children. And there's a chapter in this book where I talk about my ex boyfriend's daughters, who I became incredibly close with. And then there's a couple of other people's friends. Friends, daughters, sons, too. Children in my life, aside from my eight nieces and nephews, who occupy a lot of my time. I have so much bandwidth because I don't have children to spread the love and the joy and the happiness, and I call them Poopsie, Whoopsie, and Oopsie in my book, because obviously I have to protect them, their children. But I've dated men who've had children, and I've been able to show up for them in ways that I probably wouldn't have been able to had I had my own. I've. I've been able to show up for other people's children in ways that I wouldn't be able to if I had my own family. So I feel like there is an unsung story about people who don't have children, whether it's by choice or by, you know, circumstance, that there are so many opportunities to have children in your life and. And you have to find those.
- [18:24]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, Auntiehood is real. I mean, I was. I sort of felt like I always won the auntie game because I'm like, well, I have two. I have a niece and nephew. And I was like, well, I got car seats. And it actually was probably one of the best decisions of my life I've ever made because it allowed me. Because they're young, and so it allowed me to have relationships with them on my own from a very early age. And I have a really special bond with them. But is it true that you took parenting classes?
- [18:55]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [18:56]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, so you fucking win.
- [18:57]
Chelsea Handler
Like, you make.
- [18:58]
Monica Lewinsky
You're better auntie than me.
- [18:59]
Chelsea Handler
No, no, no. I just wanted to understand the psychology of children to do a better job at whatever my role is. They call me father and dad. I mean, as a joke. But I am. I'm always like, I could be a great stepfather. Coming in hot. You know what I mean? On the weekends, McDonald's, Disneyland. I mean. No, I'm never going to Disneyland. Sorry, I take that back. No, no, I'm anti Disneyland. Don't get me started. Don't.
- [19:20]
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, my God.
- [19:21]
Chelsea Handler
I don't want to infect you with my negativity about that.
- [19:23]
Monica Lewinsky
You cannot. I am impenetrable when it comes to.
- [19:26]
Chelsea Handler
Then you. Then you sit there and I sit here.
- [19:29]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay?
- [19:29]
Chelsea Handler
But I, like, come in with all the fun stuff. You know, we can spoil them, take them shopping, watch their stupid tiktoks that they want me to watch, get interested in whatever they're on. If they're on the floor, I'm on the floor. You know what I mean? If they want to ski, I want to ski. Whatever. Like, learning about, like, taking these parenting classes because one of the kids became pretty obstinate and difficult, and they were having a really kind of fractious relationship with both of their parents that I was like. Like, something's not working here. Like, I want to learn how to handle them. And I took. And. And what I learned about that and how you deal with children who are rebellious and angry and. Is that you? You're there. You just remain there. Like, you can't threaten them. You don't yell at them. You meet them where they are and remind them how loved they are and that you're not going anywhere. It doesn't matter how bad the behavior gets, you're still gonna be there. And you're gonna be there to guide them, and when they wanna calm down, you're still gonna be there. And. And to just love, love, love them up, like, every kid needs to be loved. So. And I know that from my own childhood, you know, I had a huge, loud, raucous family. And it was crazy and fun and heartbreaking and all of those things, but I was never short on being loved. But I was neglected in many ways. Like, my parents would Forget to pick me up from school. I would walk home, I'd be like, hello, guys. I'd walk in and my dad be in the kitchen reading the paper. I'm like, hey, asshole. I was just fucking waiting at Hebrew school for three hours. Were you gonna get me? Cause you think I wanna go to Hebrew school? I don't, actually. So if you're not gonna pick me up, I'm definitely not going. And my dad would be like, oh, my God, this one is wild. You know, my dad thought I was crazy, but I did have a teacher in third grade, Mrs. Schectman, who instilled in me so that I was so valuable, that I had that I was going to do something special and that I was going to be someone that people came to for. I don't know how she put it, but she was like, you're going to impact the world. Like, you're going to have an impact. She's like, just stay the course. Like, when I started to get really rebellious, she's like, just stay, stay, stay. And I didn't really listen. I heard her. Yeah, but I didn't take it with me. Now it's with me every day because I wanna be that. For any kid that doesn't feel seen or that feels neglected, you know, you just need one adult to believe in you 100%.
- [21:54]
Monica Lewinsky
What do you think Mrs. Schectman saw in you at that young age?
- [21:59]
Chelsea Handler
I think she saw. She was around me right when my brother died, and I think she saw my family kind of fall into disrepair. Like, we kind of all retreated to our own corners of grief. No one was helping each other with the grief. And I think she saw that I was like, I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry about my brother. Like, once I saw everyone crying, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Our whole family is about to fall apart. Like, we gotta step it up. I was like, if they're not gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I'll be strong. I'll be strong. So I was like this for 30 years, like this. Whenever my brother's name came up, I would not cry with anybody. If I came home and my parents were crying in the kitchen, I would walk out the door and get on my bicycle. And she knew, like, that I didn't have a process for the grief. She knew to help me and to guide me, she would even take me to her house on the weekends with her and her husband, which would sound fishy today, but it wasn't right. It was, it was wholesome and, and she would take me out of my house. She's like, you come with us for the weekend. Because she knew like, what was happening at the house.
- [23:00]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. And so I just, I'm like feeling so much for little Chelsea right now.
- [23:04]
Chelsea Handler
I know, me too. I mean, I'm getting so emotional talking about it because she did, she did me such a service and she died last year in Florida and. But I've seen her. I mean, I would keep in touch with her over the years. She'd call me, she'd come to see my shows. She'd be like, I'm so proud of you. Like, look what you've accomplished. You know, like. And so it was a relationship that lasted, but impacted me in a great way because sometimes you don't take the lesson when it's happening, you take it later. And so all she had to do was show up for me and that was enough for later in her life.
- [23:40]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [23:40]
Chelsea Handler
You know.
- [23:41]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. It's. It's interesting how I think strangers, I mean, even though she wasn't a stranger, but someone outside your family who believes in you has a different weight.
- [23:52]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [23:52]
Monica Lewinsky
I think, than what it. Than what can happen. And I think in a weird, A really weird way, that was some of what I needed in D.C. that I got in very wrong and fucked up ways. But I think that was. I had said to someone once that I think Bill saw something in me that I hadn't seen yet in myself. And I saw something in him that he thought was long forgotten. And so it's. I think those things can be. They just. And going back to what you were saying before in that way of raising, not raising kids, but being in kids lives, is that it is so impactful.
- [24:35]
Chelsea Handler
It's not only impactful. I mean, first of all, kids, first and foremost, you know, we have to take care of them so that they grow up with confidence and they believe in themselves. Like, you know, but it's also for like, you know, when I wrote this book, I'm like, what. What is my agenda here? Like, I have to have an intention. And for years people have been asking me what, like, about my confidence or my fearlessness. People have this assumption that I don't give a. About anything and that I do whatever I want, whenever I want. And it's like, like I wish I were that way. I'm not that way. But I do now understand that I do have a dose of something that I would like to inject in other women. I want people to feel, to feel like I want to take the Ozempic needle and be like this is actually confidence for everybody and just start shooting everybody up. Because I, I do feel like even we deal with a lot of adult women who lack confidence.
- [25:24]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [25:25]
Chelsea Handler
And, and, and I don't, I don't want that. I want everyone to feel the way that I feel, which is, is free to express myself and, and to live in a more unapologetic way. So like when I was thinking of the stories to share, like the ch. The children's stories were, I was like, oh, nobody knows this about me. Like I've never shared this publicly. This is actually something that's so warm hearted and, and beautiful. And it's also a demonstration of how we can, when we are child free or, or, and not just for children, but how we can impact other people's lives. It's like who's impacted your life in the biggest ways and whose lives have you impacted?
- [26:07]
Monica Lewinsky
Thanks so much to Audible, our presenting sponsor. Are you looking for your next big thrill? Audible's got you covered with all kinds of adventure right at your fingertips. Whether you're into heart racing mysteries, epic quests or fantasy, they've got stories that'll keep you hooked. You'll love diving into gripping titles that keep you guessing until the final moment. Experience exclusive, captivating Audible originals you won't find anywhere else. Want to know what everyone will be talking about before they're talking about it? Be the first to hear anticipated new releases and discover must listen bestsellers that will grab your attention. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat on Audible. Start your adventure today. Sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.comreclaiming that's audible.comreclaiming thanks so much to our sponsor, Reformation. I want to take a second to talk about one of my favorite clothing brands, Reformation. You've probably seen Reformation on Instagram or at a wedding. They make the best guesting dresses. But if you're like me, you may have thought that's all they do well, you're in for a pleasant surprise. Last year they worked with Yours Truly and Vote.org on a campaign to empower voters to take part in the democratic process and show off their workwear. From doing the campaign and getting to know the brand even better. I love their sweaters, blouses, workwear, shoes and bags. But most important, I love how confident I feel in their stuff. Plus it really holds up since they make everything with super high quality, sustainable materials. Reformation is also a brand that uses their growing platform to do good in the world and especially in the sustainable fashion space, as they say, being naked is the number one most sustainable option. Reformation is number two. If you're looking for clothes you want to feel great in and feel better about, head to reformation.com it's interesting because I have a friend who she's three kids. A lot of my friends have three kids.
- [28:07]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [28:07]
Monica Lewinsky
But Sandra has said to me before when I've sort of lamented, you know, I don't know, Mother's Day comes around and, and I'm so lucky that my mom's still here and, and my stepmom and so just kind of being able to do that and at the same time it's, it can be hard. And she said to me once, she said, but do you realize how many people in your life that you mother and I hadn't thought about it that way. That I, I am very nurturing. I mean I little codependent too, but, but there's the nurturing there and I do truly care in that sense. And so it's the same thing of kind of what you're saying of whether you're, you know, and, and I think this is more to adults is what she's talking about rather than with kids.
- [28:47]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. And it's like a maternal instinct. Like we're not mothers. Doesn't mean we don't have that maternal instinct. It doesn't work that way. We're women, so we're, we're empathic just by nature of who we are.
- [28:59]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [28:59]
Chelsea Handler
And we want to help. Like I want to help people when they're down. I want to go, come on, come on, I'm going to pick you up. Come with me. Like, I'll show you the way, you know, and I could be pretty aggressive with that too sometimes, you know, sometimes people are like, I don't want your help. And I'm like, all right, well, good luck with everything then.
- [29:14]
Monica Lewinsky
Are your, do you have friends who are like that with you too? Do you let that in? No.
- [29:21]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, I'm pretty. Like I have a ton of people that work with me that take care of me in a large, in a, in a sense. I mean they all. I really feel like this is the first time in my life where my whole team is just so co aligned in a professional and personal level. Like everyone who's works with me, I mean, I guess it's more professional, but it's. Everything I do is personal anyway.
- [29:44]
Monica Lewinsky
Right.
- [29:45]
Chelsea Handler
So the professional is personal. I don't have boundaries or lines crossed, you know, like, like between my publicity team, my managers, my agents, and the people that work with me in my home and organize my life, I feel so cared for.
- [30:00]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. Everything's in alignment.
- [30:02]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. Like, if I need something, I can ask for something, but it's not easy for me to ask for help. No.
- [30:07]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, me either.
- [30:08]
Chelsea Handler
I'm like, I can do anything. That's my superpower. I can handle what most people can't in one day.
- [30:14]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. And I mean, it sounds a bit like. Like you kind of were like that as a kid, too.
- [30:18]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. But the truth of the matter is, nobody can handle that. And you are going to break down if you try to handle everything that's unreasonable. You know, if you put a hat. Like, you're piling on, and you're piling on, and you're piling on, you're going to break down. And, of course, I have those moments, too. But, yes, I feel very independent in the fact that I'm so strong. Like, I'll deal with it. You know, I can handle this. That kind of vibe was that.
- [30:44]
Monica Lewinsky
I imagine part of the cracking open was sort of sitting with that or trying to let people help more in. Was that hard for you, or did you just.
- [30:54]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, there's this experience with Dan Siegel. There was one day where I wasn't. He wanted to talk about. He kept asking about my brother, you know, and I was like, that's not what this is about. Like, let's talk about. I have a short temper. I have no patience. Everyone annoys me. Let's talk about that.
- [31:11]
Monica Lewinsky
I love you.
- [31:12]
Chelsea Handler
And he was like, okay, well, we need to get a little deeper. And I'm like, no, no. These are just newer problems. Like, I'm hitting a crescendo where, like, I'm blasting off on people for no reason. And he couldn't get me to cry. You know, he couldn't. I just would be, like, steely, and I would come close. And then one day, he handed me an orange. He walked in his office, and he's like, oh. And we were in a different office that day, so it was a little bit out of. I was. You know, and he. We were sitting at a table instead of in two chairs, and he walked in, and he handed me an orange, and he goes, I grabbed this from my tree. I thought you might want an orange. And I immediately just was like. And everything came up, you know, every. All of it. And I. Because he had done something so nice, you know, like, an orange to me is like, the best memory I have of my childhood. Is orange juice. And oranges. Like, I love orange juice. And it was cold. Like, he knew that I liked. I think he had refrigerated it or something.
- [32:09]
Monica Lewinsky
Oh, my gosh.
- [32:10]
Chelsea Handler
So it was like all the nice things a man could do to you or do for you, not do to you. And he handed it to me, and that's when I just broke down. And as I was peeling it, I was, like, trying to. Obviously, I was, like, trying to hide my face with the orange peels. I was like, oh, God, here I go. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm losing my shit right now. And tears. And tears are coming down my face, face. And he's just sitting back, like, finally, like, okay, we can't fix you until you break down. You know what I mean? And that's what you learn about children, too. That's what I learned in my parenting class. Even when someone's obstinate and they're rebellious, if they can still cry, they're still vulnerable, and you can still get to them.
- [32:49]
Monica Lewinsky
Wow, that's really.
- [32:51]
Chelsea Handler
So that's important to remember with, like.
- [32:53]
Monica Lewinsky
That's really interesting. Wait, say that again. That's really interesting.
- [32:56]
Chelsea Handler
If you. If you can. Like, if a girl's really rebellious and she's a. She's a bitch every night when she gets home, and she's hormonal and she' puberty, and she's mean to her mother and she's mean to her father, she's not gone. If she can still cry, if she can still be vulnerable. And this goes for boys, too. But obviously, I. More women in my life. As long as you can get to them, if someone can break down, then you have access to try to heal them.
- [33:24]
Monica Lewinsky
Wow. I've never heard that. Never thought about that. I mean, it makes so much sense. Did Dan plan the different room and the orange? Trying to see if just.
- [33:35]
Chelsea Handler
I'm sure there was something, or maybe.
- [33:37]
Monica Lewinsky
Intuitively, without even it being conscious.
- [33:40]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, he's a professional, so I'm sure he knew what he was dealing with. Cause I went in there, like, I was like, oh, I can talk to him about the brain and how the brain works. And it was very linear and intellectual. And I was very interested in those kinds of conversations. Cause I was learning so much about the human brain and how we behave. And so it was kind of like almost like an abstract way of. I needed the help, but I couldn't admit that I needed that help. So I just kind of went in under the subterfuge that I needed to Learn about the human brain. And he had been a guest star. Like he had come on my Netflix show. We had done some, like, studies in the field with, like, talking about child adolescents. He specializes in adolescence, which is exactly where I was stuck. I was still a 9 year old girl in many ways. Because when our trauma happens, I'm sure, as you well know, we can remain that age until we unearth our trauma.
- [34:31]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [34:31]
Chelsea Handler
So like, for I was a nine year old girl in relationships with men until I was 40 years old and understood that I had been behaving like a nine year old.
- [34:39]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [34:40]
Chelsea Handler
Because I thought everyone was gonna abandon me and everyone was gonna leave me because my brother died and he told me he was coming right back. And then my brother and then my father, basically, you know, he didn't die, but he died a little bit. And that was.
- [34:52]
Monica Lewinsky
He disappeared.
- [34:53]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. So it was the first two most important men in my life disappointed me. So I, from then on, I was like, oh, men are not to be trusted.
- [35:02]
Monica Lewinsky
Do you have a relationship with your dad now?
- [35:04]
Chelsea Handler
Well, he's dead now.
- [35:05]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay.
- [35:05]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. But we repaired our relationship.
- [35:08]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay.
- [35:08]
Chelsea Handler
And not, not through therapy or anything, just time. And I, I had to move away from my family to fall in love with them. I had to. We just needed a break, you know. So when I moved to California, I was 19 years old. And that's when I really started to like, like, I'm like, oh, I miss my parents. I love my parents.
- [35:27]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah. It's so interesting. I think, or at least I've experienced, that you kind of get to a certain age where you, I guess you feel comfortable enough with yourself as, as an adult and you're able to see your parents in ways that you kind of go, oh, I. Actually, as an adult, I appreciate these qualities about my parent and I, I cherish them in a different way where I enjoy spending time with them in different ways than when I was younger. I kind of be like, I don't wanna have dinner with you or lunch with you. I think it was more my own issue of kind of am I a loser that I'm having dinner with my mom on a Friday night or something, some version of that. And instead you kind of get to go, oh, actually, when you're not trying to use your intellect to always tell me what to do, you're pretty fucking smart.
- [36:21]
Chelsea Handler
I remember going home, like to the Vineyard. We'd go there in the summertimes after I had moved to California when I was 19. And I would go home and my parents used to get up super early, which is what I do now. I'm just like them. And they'd get up super early, and they'd go into Edgartown and they'd have breakfast alone. And when you're one of six, you don't ever have breakfast with your family. Like, your parents. You never are alone with your parents. There's always more kids. So the idea. And I remember getting up one morning early with them and going into town with them, and it was quiet, and my dad and I were walking down the street holding hands. I was, like, 22 years old, and my mom was like, you know, there with us, probably holding my father's other hand or my hand. And we went to this. This little restaurant in Eggertown. And I remember having breakfast with them, and I was like, the beginning of, oh, it's so nice to be alone with my parents. Like, I had never had that experience because we were a tribe, so there were always so many kids. And then it became our thing. Like, my dad would come up to my bedroom every morning and go, come on, we're going to breakfast. And it would just be the three of us.
- [37:32]
Monica Lewinsky
Wow. So I'm the oldest of two, so I mean, my experience is almost the opposite, which is like, oh, I got all the attention. And then, you know, my fucking brother came. Although I was so excited. I was insistent that. He'll probably kill me for saying this, but. But, you know, I was insistent that we call him Jojo. And I made a welcome Home, Jojo sign. His name is Michael. And so it was like, I welcome home Jojo from the hospital. I called him Jojo for, you know, a while when he was younger.
- [38:04]
Chelsea Handler
That's funny.
- [38:04]
Monica Lewinsky
It was. Yeah. But it was that sense of. And then I. Oh, my God. I dressed him. I would cut his. Poor guy. I should pay for his therapy.
- [38:13]
Chelsea Handler
So, I mean, we are all gonna get therapy anyway. You might as well get it out of the way that way. Yeah, that sounds. That sounds. Sounds quite innocent. Better than anyone.
- [38:21]
Monica Lewinsky
I don't know. Me with some shears. I'm not very good, so. But it's. I mean, you. It's just. It's so interesting for me right now to just be hearing this aspect of you. I mean, I got so much from your book and your earlier books you've had. You've written a lot of books. Is it five or nine?
- [38:40]
Chelsea Handler
Seven.
- [38:40]
Monica Lewinsky
Seven. In between. Five and nine.
- [38:42]
Chelsea Handler
Seven.
- [38:43]
Monica Lewinsky
Seven. I mean, that's impressive.
- [38:44]
Chelsea Handler
I can't believe it. Believe me. I'm like, what? What?
- [38:47]
Monica Lewinsky
So last year, I came to see you at the YouTube Theater. We didn't get to see each other after your set, but we came. I came with Maria and Suzanne. And so I was like, oh, is this is part of what we saw in your new special, the Feeling? And so where I'm getting at is you tell this amazing story about how you started a business. We were like, I don't know, just out of the womb, basically.
- [39:10]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [39:11]
Monica Lewinsky
And you were this young entrepreneur at what, nine? I think eight or nine.
- [39:15]
Chelsea Handler
I started working when I was eight.
- [39:17]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [39:17]
Chelsea Handler
I opened up a lemonade stand that didn't yield enough of a profit margin, so I opened up a hard lemonade stand. And so I started. I. And I hired. My sister was against us serving alcohol. And I was like, well, then you're fired. So I went around the neighborhood, I found another little kid that I could dupe. And I was like, come on, Nelson, come with me. I'm gonna teach you how to make a drink. Actually, you figure it out, because I don't know either. And we're gonna sell gin, whiskey, tequila with the lemonade to the adults. And if anybody's over, obviously we had some guidelines and we made money. I was 8 years old. I was. We made hundreds of dollars in the first week. I did it for like four weeks. And then I was like, huh. The next summer, I think I did that one summer fully. Then the next summer I was like, I gotta make more money. And then I was like, okay. I think by the time I was 10, I started babysitting and I would. I lied and said I was 15 because I was. I looked like, I've always looked older. Finally now at 50, I'm starting. My sister goes, it will even out as you get older, you'll start to look younger. And I'm like, when, when, When? When I was 20, I looked like I was 30. When I was 30, I looked like I was 40. Now that I'm 50, I agree I look great.
- [40:22]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, you do.
- [40:22]
Chelsea Handler
It took me this long to get back to the. You know what I mean, to catch up with my age. I mean, I'm a 50 year old woman and so. But I feel great about the way I look finally in my life. And that's not to say I didn't before, but I feel permanently good. Do you know what I mean? Like, I.
- [40:38]
Monica Lewinsky
Well, you feel so good that you've skied naked.
- [40:41]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, well, with a bikini on. It's not quite naked, but I don't ski with my beaver out. No. Okay. I mean, that's the story, Yes, I know, but there's always something covering my nipples.
- [40:52]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay.
- [40:52]
Chelsea Handler
Hopefully, I think so. Maybe once or twice there wasn't. But yes, now my nephews asked me to please keep my breasts covered. And I said, you know what, guys? This is exactly why I didn't have children. So I don't have any guardrails around me. But I did want to respect that. There are friends at college were commenting on their naked aunt, topless aunt, I should say. I was like, at least I didn't bring out my Pikachu. They're like, God, stop it. No one wants to see that. I was like, a lot of people want to see it.
- [41:19]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [41:22]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [41:23]
Monica Lewinsky
So that's incredible that you were with your business that early.
- [41:27]
Chelsea Handler
And then I babysat for kids at 10 years old, when I was lying, saying I was 15, I babysat for a 14 year old kid for the entire summer. I mean, I'm not joking. I was up to all sorts of shenanigans and I was like accruing all this money. I was making money and I had this cigar box of money. I would go home every night, I would smell the money, I would count it. I would put the 20s in one stack and I would stack it up like a banker. And I would be like, okay. And then I would seal it shut. Cause I was scared my father, my used car dealer father would want in on it. And I was like, nobody's taking my money. I'm a businesswoman. And I was 10 years old, but I was born that way. You know, I opened my book with this letter from my little girl self about who, who is the woman that I want to be like? Who did I dream about becoming? I wanted to be someone who was strong, who would stand up for things, who would, who would talk about, you know, would have the difficult conversations. Somebody who met who, who. Who lived freely, you know, and bravely and was. And stood up for things that mattered, you know, and wasn't a follower. I wanted to be a leader. And I think it. And just by writing that I realized, like, I got so in touch with. And this is, you know, this overlaps in my special and my book, my childhood. Because I think it's so important for us to remember who we were before the world, you know, shit on us, before we got our hearts broken, before we were humiliated, before we understood what jealousy was. Before all of that, who was. Who is the essence of who we are. Yeah, and make sure you bring that little girl with you in every way throughout your life.
- [43:05]
Monica Lewinsky
I did A TED Talk almost a decade ago. And one of the. When I was trying to figure out, okay, what am I going to say? One of the ideas I had was around this sort of thing of childhood photos. And I was trying, you know, trying this idea out on people. And my friend's husband told the story of how his mom's therapist had said to her, you know, go home and find a photo of you. You from before you were broken. And there was something about that that just, like, resonated so deeply. And I feel like we can see it in these. And I. In fact, you'll have to send me one because I keep this. I have a folder on my phone that I have photos of my friends of kids from before they were broken of this idea of, like, in every so often.
- [43:52]
Chelsea Handler
I love that.
- [43:52]
Monica Lewinsky
Send some energy.
- [43:53]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. I.
- [43:54]
Monica Lewinsky
You know, because they're. Is that. And you can just. You can see it. You can see the kind of the effervescence in a little child. And it is. It's an amazing thing to sort of think about who we were. How do we find that again? I mean, that's so much of what the show is about with reclaiming of just in my own self. Of trying to find, you know, find those moments of joy. Right. That when you were a kid, it's.
- [44:21]
Chelsea Handler
Also like, no one can take that from you. You.
- [44:23]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [44:24]
Chelsea Handler
When you're in touch with who you really are and you're not worried about impressing people or showing or demonstrating who you are, when you really sit with yourself and think, who am I? What is my purpose here? What am I doing here? And how do I get closer to my real self? You know, because we all obviously fall off the track. You know, I have many times. And it's up to us to get back on that track. And a reminder of where we began is really truly the essence of us. And the more I talk to people about the book, the special, everything, it just keeps coming up. Like, there's so many times in life where we just forget to even check in with that little person.
- [45:10]
Monica Lewinsky
I mean, I've been trying to do so much work over the last many years around that of just trying to. I think, just even trying to recognize she's in the room, you know, Little Wonka so well.
- [45:23]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, I think your story is so inspiring because you are so grounded, normal, and went through something that is unimaginable to 99.9% of people. That level of scrutiny and embarrassment, probably. Yeah. And the fact that you are on your feet and that you're healthy, happy, and you're living a beautiful life. Like, is very, very much a testament to who you really are.
- [45:53]
Monica Lewinsky
Thanks. Thanks. It's not always easy.
- [45:56]
Chelsea Handler
I know.
- [45:56]
Monica Lewinsky
Being inside my skin and my brain.
- [45:58]
Chelsea Handler
But I can only imagine.
- [45:59]
Monica Lewinsky
Easy to be in my heart. You know, that's interesting. I've never thought about that.
- [46:04]
Chelsea Handler
Wow.
- [46:05]
Monica Lewinsky
I've never thought about that before. Like I'll think, oh, God. In my head and the overthinking or in my body and I'm disconnected. But it is. It is very easy to be in my heart. Is it easy for you? I think it's easy for you to be in your heart too.
- [46:17]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, my heart is front and center. Like, I'm a mess.
- [46:20]
Monica Lewinsky
I. I could talk to you for hours and I want to be mindful and respect your. Your time boundary. Before I get to our very last question, I just wanted to mention that I learned this last night. One of my producers mentioned to me that in this LA Times article that it was saying that your residency at the. In Las Vegas, at the Cosmopolitan. Right. That you are the first female comedian to have a residency there.
- [46:46]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [46:47]
Monica Lewinsky
That's fucking amazing.
- [46:48]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you. At the Cosmos. The theater's called Chelsea. So it's Chelsea at the Chelsea. So I'm performing inside myself, which is a dream come true, you know? I mean, how many people get to say that? No one. Unless another Chelsea comes along and takes my residency.
- [47:04]
Monica Lewinsky
No, they just can't allow it.
- [47:05]
Chelsea Handler
It's been a blast there. Yes. I want everyone to come see me in Vegas. We have such a blast every. You have to come one weekend.
- [47:12]
Monica Lewinsky
I.
- [47:12]
Chelsea Handler
You'll fly out with me. I know. I hate Vegas. No, no, we go. It's a 12 hour turnaround.
- [47:16]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay, fine.
- [47:17]
Chelsea Handler
We literally go. Go to dinner, go to my show. My show's at 8. I do it once a month and then we go gamble. I always use my money. No one has to use any of their own money. And then we leave at like 10 o'clock in the morning.
- [47:29]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay, I'm there.
- [47:30]
Chelsea Handler
So we'll put a nice group together and we'll make it a happy experience.
- [47:33]
Monica Lewinsky
I will do that. That would be fun.
- [47:35]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [47:35]
Monica Lewinsky
And especially just to come support you that way too.
- [47:38]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you. Yeah.
- [47:39]
Monica Lewinsky
So I like to ask people at the end, like, is there something that you are working on? Recl. It could be an emotion, a thing. It could be anything. Like really elastic definition.
- [47:54]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, okay. I like that. What am I working on reclaiming? I think the most important thing that I've had in my whole Life is the ability to lose myself in books and read books. Right. And escape through books. I just bought a bunch of big books, okay. And I want to reclaim reading. I've always read my whole life. My father forced me to read when I was a little girl. Cause he knew I was gonna be trouble. So he's like, here, go in the corner and read Tolstoy. When I was 8, I had to read Tolstoy. Yeah. And write and give an oral book report in the kitchen. So it's not that I've lost it. I've just been so busy with everything that I haven't really sunken into a book where I've forgotten where I was. And I've read for, like, two hours straight. That hasn't happened in a couple months. So what I am going to reclaim in the next couple weeks is that private time alone at night without the tv, with my books. I want my books back.
- [48:49]
Monica Lewinsky
I'm so jealous.
- [48:50]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [48:50]
Monica Lewinsky
That sounds divine.
- [48:51]
Chelsea Handler
I need to get back in the habit of getting into bed and reading rather than just turning on nonsense and not caring about what I'm watching. You know what I mean? To fall asleep.
- [49:00]
Monica Lewinsky
Well, I. You know what? I purposefully don't have a TV in my bedroom.
- [49:03]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. I don't like that plan.
- [49:04]
Monica Lewinsky
No.
- [49:05]
Chelsea Handler
Because I have days where I get up and I'm like, today's a TV day. And I get back into bed, I get up, great breakfast, bring it into my bed, and I'm like, today is a TV day. And all I do is lie in bed and watch tv. So I will never not have a TV in my bedroom.
- [49:19]
Monica Lewinsky
You could have a special bedroom with.
- [49:22]
Chelsea Handler
A TV in it.
- [49:23]
Monica Lewinsky
In it.
- [49:23]
Chelsea Handler
That's not my own bedroom.
- [49:25]
Monica Lewinsky
Right. And then not. Because it does.
- [49:27]
Chelsea Handler
It does.
- [49:27]
Monica Lewinsky
I read every night before bed. I mean.
- [49:29]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, good for you.
- [49:30]
Monica Lewinsky
Regency are a romance novel. So not. It's not. I mean, it's like watching, you know, a Bravo show. But. But it is. It does mean I sort of wind down in a way. And it does mean my bedroom feels like a. It's actually. It's all sort of salmony pink, so it's like a fucking cocoon in there.
- [49:50]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. But it needs to be. I want that sanctuary. I want that feeling of. I want to go to bed with a book every night.
- [49:56]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah.
- [49:57]
Chelsea Handler
And I'm going to reclaim that.
- [49:58]
Monica Lewinsky
Okay. All right. Thank you so much for coming to do this. I was so nervous and excited, but nervsighted. But I just. I'm so happy for all your. All these successes that are out there right now.
- [50:11]
Chelsea Handler
Likewise. I'm happy for your success and I'm so happy to know you now.
- [50:15]
Monica Lewinsky
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
- [50:17]
Chelsea Handler
And we'll get you skiing in whistler. We'll get you to mallorca.
- [50:19]
Monica Lewinsky
All of it. And Vegas.
- [50:21]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [50:21]
Monica Lewinsky
All the things.
- [50:22]
Chelsea Handler
All the things. I love it. Thank you, monica.
- [50:24]
Monica Lewinsky
Thank you. Thanks so much. Reclaiming with monica lewinsky is hosted and executive produced by me. Hi, Monica lewinsky production services by wtf media studios. Our theme song is by ben benjamin and our music supervisor is scott velasquez. Our story producer is elna baker and our senior producer is megan donis for wondery. Eliza mills is the development producer. Our managing producer is taylor sniffin. Nick ryan is our senior managing producer. Senior producers are candidates manriquez ren and emily feldbrake. And executive producers are dave easton, erin o'flaherty and marshall louie.