Podcast Summary: "Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky" — Guest: Deeyah Khan

Date: March 17, 2026
Podcast Host: Monica Lewinsky
Guest: Deeyah Khan (Peabody, BAFTA, Emmy-winning documentarian, activist)

Episode Overview

This episode of "Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky" features an open, honest, and far-ranging conversation with Deeyah Khan, an award-winning filmmaker and activist. Lewinsky and Khan dive into how to reclaim humanity in ourselves and others amid a world defined by violence, radicalization, and division. Khan recounts her unique trajectory from Norwegian-Pakistani childhood to music prodigy, to activist, and then to a courageous documentarian sitting face-to-face with extremists. The conversation is rich with personal anecdotes, memorable quotes, and probing insights about dignity, violence, belonging, and the real meaning of reclaiming one’s narrative.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Experiences: Belonging, Alienation, and the Seeds of Understanding

Timestamps: [06:48] – [11:10]

• Deeyah describes growing up in Norway as the daughter of Pakistani and Afghan immigrants, feeling "not enough"—not Norwegian enough, not Pakistani or Muslim enough.
  • "I grew up very sensitized to the fact that differences really have a big impact on people… All my kind of different identities… all being attacked, all being kind of diminished and degraded… I was very aware of differences." — Deeyah Khan [07:44]
• Both societies (Norwegian and her parents' communities) made her feel like an outcast; subjected to racism and labeled "too westernized" by her parents’ community.
• She describes this duality as a "superpower"—the ability to empathize and translate between cultures.
  • "I could sit with my grandfather in Pakistan and also understand Norwegian people... I'm like this weird translator. I get this and I get that." — Deeyah Khan [10:27]

2. From Musician to Activist: Family Dreams and Cultural Backlash

Timestamps: [11:10] – [19:01]

• Deeyah was pushed into music by her father, who sacrificed her childhood for intense musical training, believing it would help her overcome societal barriers as a woman of color.
  • "My dad took all my toys, put them in a bag, and made me say goodbye—he wanted me to do music." — Deeyah Khan [11:59]
• Though her father meant well, Khan recognizes the damage this did by depriving her of choice or childhood.
• As her fame grew, so did threats and harassment—both from conservative Muslims (for being a female performer) and from wider Norwegian society (racism).
• After severe threats (including death threats in both Norway and the UK), Deeyah left music and Norway by age 18.
  • "I left Norway. I remember really vividly before I moved to London...a girl at the post office said, 'Somebody has to go first and gets all the shit. Thank you.'" — Deeyah Khan [17:38]

3. Finding Purpose as a Filmmaker: Banaz, a Love Story

Timestamps: [19:01] – [28:52]

• Deeyah became involved in activism, eventually turning to documentary filmmaking as a self-taught medium to tell important stories.
• Her first film, "Banaz: A Love Story," recounts the tragic honor killing of Banaz Mahmod in the UK and the policewoman who fought for justice.
  • The story goes beyond brutality, showing the human solution—unexpected love and solidarity.
  • "Caroline Good murmured, 'Because I love her.' And I just went, how can you love someone you never met? And she said, 'Everyone deserves to be loved... Banaz should have been loved.'" — Deeyah Khan [23:01]
• The film's success (Peabody and Emmy) is recounted with humility and emotion.

4. Courage at the Frontlines: Confronting Extremists & The Nature of Violence

Timestamps: [30:11] – [45:33]

• Deeyah explains her drive to engage with extremists (jihadists, neo-Nazis, white supremacists). Her goal: to understand, not excuse, the roots of violence and hate.
  • "I do documentary films…not because I wanted to be a filmmaker… I make films from the point of view of an activist. It gives me the space to explore, to try to understand some of the biggest challenges we face." — Deeyah Khan [33:46]
• She describes the terrifying experience filming with neo-Nazis, particularly at Charlottesville ("Unite the Right" rally), while pregnant and facing real threats.
  • "I was the only person who looks like this…one guy blew smoke in my face, came this close and goes, 'Are you fucking pregnant?'…I looked at my phone—it said no signal. I thought, this is where I'm going to die…" — Deeyah Khan [43:38]
• Her presence and questions sometimes led participants to question their own beliefs or even leave extremist groups.

5. Why People Join Extremist Movements: The Need for Belonging and Grooming

Timestamps: [45:34] – [53:02]

• Khan contrasts her own vulnerability with those of extremists—what made her pick up a camera when they picked up a gun?
• Reach and recruitment of extremist groups is likened to grooming, often targeting vulnerable, isolated young people.
  • "One of the guys told me, 'We hang around schools, look for the bullied kid, the outcast, and target him. We embrace him…make him feel loved and secure...' Who doesn't want that?" — Deeyah Khan [50:08]

6. Systemic Challenges, Human Needs, and the Power of Dignity

Timestamps: [53:02] – [56:20]

• Monica and Deeyah discuss how everyone needs to feel seen, heard, and cared for. Radicalization exploits unmet human needs; the mainstream often fails to adequately engage.
  • "It's easier to paint people as monsters…that removes any responsibility or possibility of actions we can take that might help." — Deeyah Khan [54:35]
• Deeyah emphasizes that violence is born from humiliation, and dignity is the only sustainable counter.
  • "All violence is born from humiliation…The only thing that returns a person to center is dignity." — Deeyah Khan [04:46]

7. Division, Hope, and Personal Reclaiming

Timestamps: [56:20] – [62:09]

• Khan describes her recent forced departure from the U.S. due to risks related to her activism and background, and her heartbreak over losing that home.
• She believes in the necessity of solidarity and human connection across divides: "If we stand for dignity…we have to extend that also to the people that we dislike."
• Monica closes by asking what Deeyah is currently reclaiming. She replies:
  • "I try every day to stay true to the promise I made to myself—to be as fully myself as I can…and wherever there are structures that don't have space for me, then create the alternative space…Being a mother now adds a whole new dimension to everything I do…" — Deeyah Khan [62:25]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If you can introduce dignity as the opposite of humiliation, something happens in people…Violence becomes a less viable option." — Deeyah Khan [04:42]
• "I had all the same experiences…So why did I pick up a camera and he picks up a gun? The difference is who shows up for you when you're most vulnerable." — Deeyah Khan [45:34]
• "We have to make sure that we now make it through this because everything is stacked against us. But I think if we hold onto our hearts and if we hold onto each other, I think really we can. And hope. Hope is like the fuel that we have to keep in us." — Deeyah Khan [61:40]
• "There's a quote by Alice Walker, which is, 'We are the ones we've been waiting for.' And I think that is the truth now. No one's coming to rescue us." — Deeyah Khan [61:55]
• "I'm constantly, every day, trying to live by that…but just on a practical level as a mother now, I try as much as I can to stay intact and to look after myself…" — Deeyah Khan [62:25]

Important Timestamps

• [06:48] — Deeyah's childhood: "A foot in both worlds"
• [11:59] — The Casio keyboard and the end of childhood
• [17:38] — The girl at the post office: "Someone has to go first"
• [23:01] — "Because I love her"—the core of Banaz: A Love Story
• [33:46] — Why documentary? Activism as motivation
• [43:38] — Neo-Nazi rally, intimidation, and being pregnant in Charlottesville
• [50:08] — "We target the outcast; we make him feel loved"
• [62:25] — Reclaiming self as a woman, activist, and mother

Tone & Language

The conversation is intimate, searching, and often vulnerable, with a mix of somber reflection and resilient optimism. Deeyah Khan’s openness about trauma, courage, and uncertainty is matched by Monica Lewinsky's empathy and curiosity. Both voices are self-aware, nuanced, and grounded in hope, humor, and humanity.

Takeaway

This episode is a powerful meditation on what it means to reclaim one’s humanity and agency in the face of forces intent on dehumanizing and dividing. Through the lens of Deeyah Khan’s extraordinary life and work, the conversation offers hope, compassion, and a call to courageous curiosity and action—building dignity in ourselves and others, one unfiltered conversation at a time.