[Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky]

Episode: Dylan Mulvaney
Date: February 24, 2026
Host: Monica Lewinsky
Guest: Dylan Mulvaney

Episode Overview

This episode of Reclaiming features an honest, wide-ranging conversation between Monica Lewinsky and actress/activist Dylan Mulvaney. The two explore personal transformation, public scrutiny, the journey of gender identity, reclaiming joy, and how both have navigated viral-level infamy and its aftermath. Dylan speaks about her return to Broadway, surviving public backlash, and the ongoing process of self-acceptance and growth. Their discussion is marked by candor, humor, and mutual understanding, offering listeners rare insight into what it means to reclaim one’s narrative in a culture quick to judge.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meeting and Connection

• Both Monica and Dylan express their excitement for finally meeting and recording together after long anticipation and mutual admiration, referencing Alan Cumming’s prior endorsement of Dylan as a perfect fit for the show.
  • “He was saying you were the perfect guest for this show, which you are.” – Monica [01:12]

2. Dylan’s Upcoming Role on Broadway

• Dylan shares her exhilaration about joining the cast of Six on Broadway as Anne Boleyn, reflecting on her lifelong love of musicals, the audition journey, and how the role feels like a “full circle” moment after years of industry work and identity exploration.
  • “If you had told little me that I would get to play a really incredible woman from history in this girl group, I wouldn’t have believed you.” – Dylan [06:28]
• They discuss what it takes to “make it” on Broadway (approval from multiple parties) and the camaraderie and celebration of femininity the show represents.
• Dylan describes the difficult dance routines and how physically demanding rehearsals have been, especially performing “in heels… in these crazy, giant sort of plastic costumes.” [06:02]

3. Reclaiming Color, Visibility, and Joy

• In a lighthearted exchange about Dylan’s outfit (a red pantsuit), Dylan vividly describes wanting to reclaim the color red from political associations and wear it proudly:
  • “I want to reclaim red as a color that I can wear proudly… that looks really good with my skin tone.” – Dylan [03:30]
• Monica adds, “But now the blue looks good on you,” [04:27] highlighting mutual support for self-expression.

4. Roots, Childhood, and Early Identity

• Dylan recounts growing up in a small, conservative town outside San Diego, her experiences with Catholic and Christian settings, and how encountering LGBTQ adults in theater provided role models amid conflicting religious messages.
• She shares about coming out as a girl to her mom at age four:
  • “I think God made a mistake and put a girl into a boy’s body.” – Dylan [13:45]
• The importance of safe spaces like dance and theater is highlighted in helping her navigate identity alongside shame and faith-based conflict.

5. Navigating Gender, Queer Community & Self-Perception

• Dylan details her coming out journey, moving from a non-binary identity during the pandemic into embracing her womanhood through the use of hormones.
  • “What non binary really did for me was it gave me an opportunity to be feminine and release from this kind of toxic idea of gay culture and being attractive to gay men.” – Dylan [22:56]
• She explains queer community “types” and pressures, with a playful but sincere gay lexicon breakdown (twink, otter, bear, etc.).
  • “A twink is like a smallish, feminine gay man...I was a hairy twink, which is kind of known as an otter sometimes.” – Dylan [23:19; 23:35]
• They reflect on internalized comparison, body image issues, and how cis and trans women both grapple with societal pressures to conform.

6. The Power and Pain of Virality: TikTok & “Beer Gate”

• Dylan describes her meteoric TikTok rise through her “Day One of Girlhood” and the viral “100 Days of Girlhood” series.
  • “People loved them…But then there was a lot of really negative ones.” – Dylan [34:08]
• She opens up about “Beer Gate,” when a lighthearted beer brand partnership escalated into a national right-wing backlash, culminating in bomb threats and wide-ranging vilification in the press.
  • “I think what affected me the most was I felt like I believed that I could change their opinion… and it still clear was never gonna be enough.” – Dylan [35:11]
  • “They had sent me a can of beer with my face on it… There was only one can of that exists, and it's hidden very well now, somewhere in a different state.” – Dylan [38:04]
• Monica expresses empathy, relating Dylan’s experience to her own infamy, and underscores the emotional toll:
  • “You were so young. You were 25. You were so young.” – Monica [40:32]

7. Facing Trauma & Public Shaming

• Both recall their post-scandal periods—Monica with her own public shame and vigilantism; Dylan with dangerous threats and public misrepresentation.
• Monica shares her mother’s protective instincts and personal gestures of support (“giraffes look over the trees”) and how family endured public siege. [43:59]
• Dylan describes the dissociation and identity confusion that public scrutiny can provoke:
  • “You disconnect from your body and from your identity and from your name.” – Dylan [44:38]

8. Reflections on Activism, Visibility, and Accepting Imperfection

• Dylan discusses her unexpected placement as a trans public figure, including her trip to the White House, and the pressure to represent a whole community.
  • “I was still new to being trans… I was a musical theater kid… there’re so many iconic trans people in this world very much deserving of the spotlight.” – Dylan [46:01]
• Both affirm the importance—and privilege—of becoming more than their most infamous moments.
  • “To no longer be defined by just one thing is really special.” – Dylan [47:45]

9. Healing, Forgiveness, and Empathy

• Dylan talks about seeking healing through ayahuasca in Peru, having visions that helped her understand the anger behind her critics and access forgiveness.
  • “What this sort of healer figure was showing to me was that those people who were speaking so ill of me… they lack true maternal love within them.” – Dylan [49:10]
• She shares a memorable story in which someone who’d absorbed anti-trans propaganda recognizes her and eventually, after real conversation, admits, “I wanted to hate you, but I can’t.” [51:15]
• Monica expertly ties this into the ongoing need for generosity, even to those who project hate, while also recognizing the exhaustion of “palatability”—the pressure to be “acceptable” to avoid more hate.

10. Reclaiming Joy, Color, Life

• Monica invites Dylan to share what she’s working on reclaiming:
  • “I am reclaiming the color red. And I am reclaiming trans joy in a way that works for me… I urge everyone to try to find a piece of it because it is magic.” – Dylan [61:41]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You have every right to be amongst these women in this setting and on this stage wearing the same costumes. I think I have to remember that it's gonna be a way better show if I feel confident up there." – Dylan [29:20]
• “The worst part of kind of what I went through was the shrinking... when it was greeted with such hostility, I think I just... I wanted to curl up into a ball and never come out of the blankets.” – Dylan [31:15]
• “I call it palatability…if I can be perceived a certain kind of way…maybe they won’t hate me as much. It’s not threatening, it’s non-threatening. Yes.” – Dylan [56:00]
• “I want to reclaim red as a color that I can wear proudly.” – Dylan [03:30]
• “You disconnect from your body and from your identity and from your name.” – Dylan [44:38]
• “I am reclaiming the color red. And I am reclaiming trans joy…” – Dylan [61:41]
• “If that name on a guest list gets uninvited for whatever reason, like how fucking cool. Because we wouldn’t have wanted to be there anyway. You can come to any party that I throw.” – Dylan [61:06]

Important Timestamps

• [01:15] – Alan Cumming recommends Dylan for the show
• [02:34] – Dylan cast as Anne Boleyn in Six on Broadway
• [06:02] – Discussing the difficulty of Broadway rehearsals
• [13:45] – Dylan tells about coming out as a girl at age four
• [22:56] – Impact of non-binary identity and queer community norms
• [35:11] – The rise and fallout of viral fame—positive and negative
• [38:04] – The “Beer Gate” controversy explained
• [40:32] – Monica empathizes about the burden of surviving public scandal at a young age
• [44:38] – The disassociation experienced during intense public scrutiny
• [46:01] – On being thrust into activism/visibility before feeling ready
• [49:10] – Dylan’s ayahuasca healing and insights about her critics
• [51:15] – Story of winning over a former critic in a bar
• [56:00] – The psychological cost of being “palatable”
• [61:41] – Dylan on reclaiming red and trans joy

Conclusion

This powerful episode weaves Dylan’s luminous humor and candor with Monica’s empathy and wisdom. Through stories of Broadway, TikTok, trauma, and reclamation, it illuminates the zigzagging path from shame to acceptance—and finally, to unapologetic joy. Listeners leave with a deeper understanding of the price of visibility, the necessity of healing, and the thrill of reclaiming pride and pleasure, even in a world slow to embrace you.