Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky

Episode: Julia Fox
Podcast Host: Monica Lewinsky
Guest: Julia Fox
Air Date: September 2, 2025
Podcast by: Wondery

Episode Overview

In this episode, Monica Lewinsky has an engaging, revealing conversation with actress, writer, and creative Julia Fox. Together they explore the themes of reclaiming one's voice and self after trauma, parenting through generational wounds, navigating fame and the male gaze, and defining beauty and self-worth beyond societal expectations. Julia shares candid stories from her life—including her complex family dynamics, navigating addiction and sobriety, motherhood, the realities behind her "sugar daddy" relationship, and her experiences in Hollywood. The conversation is honest and self-aware, balancing humor with depth, and circles around what it means to truly reclaim agency, time, and self-love.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Having Support in the Industry

[01:36-03:04]

• Monica and Julia bond over their mutual friend, casting director Carmen Cuba, and the crucial role supportive figures play, especially for women in competitive fields.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “It’s so important, especially in this industry, to have someone that really believes in you and is saying your name in these rooms. Otherwise it just looks very bleak.” (01:49)

2. Turning Trauma into Early Wisdom

[03:04-03:44]

• Monica shares her experience with a shaman, recounting how trauma can provide early wisdom and depth.
• Julia reflects on carrying heavy burdens from a young age that ultimately lead to strength.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “At the time when you’re young, it just feels like a very heavy burden to carry on such a small frame. But then you strengthen up and you’re like, I got this… But of course, we’re human where it’s like, you just feel bad about yourself.” (03:44)

3. Family Dynamics and Intergenerational Trauma

[04:26-09:04]

• Julia opens up about her relationship with her father, citing “acts of service” as his love language (e.g., fixing things rather than expressing emotion) and recounts stories of estrangement and reconciliation.
• Discussion about giving parents grace due to the “silent” generation’s emotional limitations.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “We have to give our parents some grace because their parents were the silent generation and they were all sorts of fucked up.” (05:02)

4. Coping Mechanisms and Self-Awareness

[09:04-12:14]

• Both Monica and Julia discuss the coping strategies they developed—Monica’s leaps of hope, Julia’s early reliance on drugs, food, shopping, and sex to fill emotional voids.
• Julia talks about now “raw-dogging life” as a mother, being intentional about what she models for her son.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “I would just… wanted to.” (11:26)
• Quote — Julia Fox: “Sometimes I feel like I’m just raw doggin’ life.” (11:40)

5. Motherhood as Healing and Modeling Accountability

[12:15-18:39]

• Julia finds healing in providing her son a childhood different from her own and tries to instill emotional literacy and accountability, particularly for a young boy in today’s world.
• She details her intentional efforts with apologies and use of flashcards to teach emotions.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “We work very hard on deconstructing the feel as to why and what can I do to feel better… We just have to, you know, just be really on top of that… I am doing, like, a subtle programming, of subtle brainwashing where… he’s Valentino, protector of women.” (15:28–16:54)

6. Chosen Family & Unconventional Living

[17:49-19:39]

• Julia explains her chosen family: she, her son, and two close friends (one a gentle male role model for her son), and how communal living supports her parenting.
• Monica introduces the concept of “Living Apart Together” (LAT) relationships, sparking thoughts on independence and redefining family structures.

7. On Living in the Present and Navigating Anxiety

[21:06-22:19]

• Monica checks in with Julia about how much of her story she likes to share and respecting what feels organic.
• Julia discusses the difficulty of staying present given anxiety and past trauma: “When you have anxiety or trauma, it’s very hard to live in the present because you’re always worrying about what’s going to happen.” (21:55)

8. Talking to Children About Difficult Pasts

[23:05-24:56]

• Julia plans to be open with her son about her own experiences, believing withholding information only breeds ignorance.
• On confronting uncomfortable realities: “If he’s asking, he’s ready for the answer… If they’re gonna go to Google and they’re gonna Google, and you know what’s gonna happen when they Google? Probably a porn link or something.” (23:28–24:56)

9. Motherhood, Life Paths, and Fulfillment

[25:23-26:52]

• Monica and Julia discuss societal expectations of women to marry and have children, and Julia affirms fulfillment can exist outside those traditional markers: “You can live an equally fulfilling life—if not more—without children and without getting married.” (26:09)

10. Complexity of Sugar Daddy Relationships

[28:44-33:17]

• Julia demystifies her “sugar daddy” era—explaining it was layered with love, support, and parent-like comfort, not transactional or loveless as stereotypes suggest.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “He poured so much into me, he really helped my self-esteem… He was one of those people that was put in my life as a guiding guardian angel. And then when I no longer needed him, he was gone.” (29:56–30:54)

11. Reclaiming the “Light” After Public & Personal Trauma

[34:59-41:02]

• Monica and Julia discuss losing and regaining their “light” after periods of darkness. Monica describes her gradual process of healing from her public scandal through active work, resonance coaching, and sound healing.
• Monica notes a shift in public perception after publishing her Vanity Fair essay, fueled by a younger generation’s willingness to reevaluate her story with compassion.

12. Internalized Misogyny, Media, and the Cycle of Tearing Down Women

[38:04-41:19]

• They dissect how media and culture still pile on women, the lingering poison of tabloid culture, and how women themselves can perpetuate this with internalized misogyny in comment sections.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “What happened to you was just—and you know what the fucked up thing is? It still happens today… When are we gonna stop this cycle?” (38:04)

13. Reclaiming Beauty and Rejecting Societal Pressure

[49:09-51:17]

• Julia is vocal about what beauty means to her: not fitting a mold, seeking validation through transformation, but finding beauty in destruction, lived experience, and reclaiming one's body for oneself.
  • “I’m over it. I’m reclaiming my body and rejecting the notion that I exist only to be visually pleasing.” (49:09)
  • “My beauty belongs to me, not to men. I only allow a select few to experience my beauty. My beauty can be terrifying.” (49:45)

14. On Being a Muse and Playing Herself in Film

[51:17-56:09]

• Julia discusses with humor and nuance what it means to be someone’s muse (e.g., for the Safdie Brothers in “Uncut Gems”), how being “seen” for her complexity carried more weight than being called "hot," and the strangeness of playing a version of herself on screen.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “When he [sugar daddy, not sugar daddy] said I was smart, that was like, bingo. Now we’re having sex.” (53:20)

15. Current and Future Creative Work

[43:49-44:13]

• Julia is writing a new book—a collection of short stories and essays, rather than a traditional memoir, centered on women’s experiences.
• Monica notes this form suits big thinkers and those with divergent interests.

16. Reclaiming Time and Setting Boundaries

[61:29-63:14]

• In response to Monica’s closing question, Julia says she is focused on reclaiming her time, learning to say no, and being intentional about energy and presence.
• Quote — Julia Fox: “I’m working on saying no more… Just making sure there is a good balance and that it’s not all work, work, work. Because then what happens is, is I’m showing up to places I’m a complete cunt to everyone. I’m just so over it… My tank’s not full.” (61:40–63:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hollywood allies:
  “It’s so important… to have someone really believing in you… Otherwise it just looks very bleak.” (Julia Fox, 01:49)
• On intergenerational trauma:
  “Their parents were the silent generation and they were all sorts of fucked up.” (Julia Fox, 05:02)
• On motherhood and accountability:
  “I’m doing subtle programming… where we play superheroes and he’s Valentino, protector of women.” (Julia Fox, 16:54)
• On media cycles:
  “We love to tear someone down to then build them up again… You’re on your ascending, I feel like this is just the beginning for you, and you’re going to do so much more.” (Julia Fox, 41:19)
• On reclaiming beauty:
  “I’m over it. I’m reclaiming my body and rejecting the notion that I exist only to be visually pleasing.” (Julia Fox, 49:09)
• On time:
  “I’m working on reclaiming my time… and just making sure there’s a good balance and it’s not all work, work, work.” (Julia Fox, 61:40)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:36 | Industry support and friendship with Carmen Cuba | | 03:04 | Wisdom gained from trauma at a young age | | 05:07 | Intergenerational trauma and parental grace | | 09:34 | Coping skills and “leap pads” of hope | | 11:40 | “Raw doggin’ life” — sobriety and motherhood | | 15:28 | Teaching son accountability and emotional literacy | | 17:49 | Chosen family and communal living | | 21:06-21:55| Being present vs. dwelling on past/future | | 23:05 | Discussing trauma and reality with one’s children | | 28:44 | “Sugar daddy” relationships demystified | | 34:59-41:02| Losing and reclaiming one’s “light” after trauma | | 38:04 | Media misogyny and cycles of female shaming | | 49:09-51:17| Redefining beauty and self-worth | | 53:15 | Being valued for intellect over appearance | | 61:29 | Reclaiming time & setting boundaries |

Tone & Style

The tone throughout is open, straightforward, and mutually supportive. Monica and Julia balance vulnerability with humor—willing to go deep but also quick to call out the absurdity of life in the spotlight and the universal struggles of parenting, healing, and self-advocacy. The conversation flows organically, welcoming tangents while always returning to the central theme of reclaiming oneself.

For Listeners

This episode is rich with relatable stories, thoughtful critique of social norms, and emotional honesty. Listeners will appreciate the candid exploration of healing, boundaries, and self-acceptance—making it valuable for anyone who has ever felt “lost,” tried to set new boundaries, or worked to heal past wounds, whether in private or under public scrutiny.