Lake Bell

Summary

Podcast Summary: Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky — Guest: Lake Bell

Episode Date: March 3, 2026
Host: Monica Lewinsky (for Wondery)
Guest: Lake Bell

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Episode Overview

This episode features a candid, thoughtful, and engaging conversation between Monica Lewinsky and actor, writer, and director Lake Bell. Their discussion centers around the concept of "reclaiming"—from personal voice and creative power to navigating parenting, neurodiversity, divorce, activism, and the reframing of social norms. Lake Bell shares deeply personal stories and insights, reflecting on feminism, race, creativity, parenting, and her ongoing journey as an artist and mother.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

Finding Community in Activism & Self-Awareness

Timestamps: 01:22–09:22

• Monica and Lake recall meeting at the "Deconstructing Karen" documentary premiere, reflecting on their shared drive for self-examination around race and bias.
• Lake Bell (02:22): "I find more and more community that way, where I can find resonance in how we're moving through the gross hypocrisies and pains of what social and cultural structures are... You are my people because you are conscientious, you're thoughtful. You want to do better because you recognize that it is so bad, all of it."
• Discussion of "Race to Dinner," a program in which women of color invite white women to confront issues of race and privilege in often uncomfortable but necessary conversations.
• The hosts reflect on their own discomfort and growth, emphasizing the importance of accountability without self-righteousness.

Parenting, Discomfort, and Social Change

Timestamps: 06:41–13:05

• Lake talks about raising two children amidst social upheaval and how to communicate difficult topics.
  • Lake Bell (06:49): "You know what's interesting is like I have two young kids, you know, 11 and 8, and it always forces me to think of how to speak about really large concepts in words like sticky and tumultuous versus, like, fucked up."
  • She admits to sometimes swearing with her kids to emphasize gravity or injustice.
• The challenge of dating and forming relationships with those who don't share her sense of societal brokenness.
• Monica ponders why societal change is not linear, but rather a swinging pendulum:
  • Monica Lewinsky (08:37): "I have a storybook idea of how change works. And it's like, there's an aha moment... And the reality is so much more the swinging pendulum..."
• Lake confesses to oscillating between hope and frustration:
  • Lake Bell (09:22): "I think I'm a little dark right now. I roll very optimistic, and I'm just... I'm pissed, you know, I'm mad as hell..."
• The difficulty and privilege involved in choosing to "look away" from the news or societal issues; the need for ongoing self-awareness.

On ADHD, Neurodiversity, and Reframing Difference

Timestamps: 11:47–13:04; 52:34–61:28

• Topic shifts to ADHD and neurodiversity, with Monica sharing her self-diagnosis and day-to-day realities.
• Lake, whose daughter also has ADHD, discusses the importance of understanding neurological diversity and taking necessary pauses from social noise.
• Later, Lake talks about her children’s book "All About Brains" and her mission to destigmatize differences, particularly around epilepsy.
  • Lake Bell (53:33): "...everyone's got a something. Okay. Sometimes you can't see it, but most people have a something."
• The book was inspired by her daughter’s experience with epilepsy and the need to foster empowerment rather than shame, referencing how many great thinkers, like Joan of Arc, are believed to have had epilepsy.
• Lake reframes neurodiversity as a “superpower,” particularly as witnessed in her daughter and her daughter’s autistic best friend.
  • Lake Bell (59:40): "I feel like, you know, we have a lot of language for it now, and categories and all these things. But I think all of us kind of walk through our life and our existence with some… thread of neurological uniqueness..."

Creative Life: Feminism, Directing, and Breaking Barriers

Timestamps: 14:31–19:24; 20:33–25:23

• Discussion of Lake’s career journey:
  • Getting fired from "Boston Legal" and the deep, primal feeling of exclusion from a community.
  • The genesis of her groundbreaking film "In a World," which she wrote, directed, and starred in.
  • Lake’s path to self-belief and the influence of her agent:
    • Lake Bell (16:05): “The movie definitely changed the course of my life. It was a feminist manifesto... a Trojan Horse for real feminist thought about the voice and the voice of authority.”
  • Reflections on the importance of female representation at Sundance and her “class” alongside filmmakers like Ryan Coogler and Joey Soloway.

Cars, Family, and New Creative Projects

Timestamps: 20:33–25:23

• Lake describes her deep roots in motorsport due to her father’s involvement and shares her passion for cars, including writing a car column and her aspirations as a collector.
• She’s developing a women’s racing film, looking to tell women’s stories in a traditionally male-dominated arena.
• The significance of narrative and experience in her interest in cars, emphasizing the poetic experience over speed.

Theatrical Training and Identity

Timestamps: 25:40–31:09

• Lake’s mother encouraged her to study drama in England before heading to Hollywood.
  • Lake Bell (26:26): "Mom, these are my hot years. I gotta go to Hollywood!"
  • Training abroad enriched her perspective, built new aspects of her identity, and let her fully appreciate the craft of acting.
• Both she and Monica share experiences of adapting to life in England and their cultural identities.

Conscious Uncoupling, Divorce, and Co-Parenting

Timestamps: 31:09–49:47

• Lake describes her "conscious uncoupling" with her ex-husband Scott, centered on ongoing therapy, honesty, and prioritizing their children.
  • Lake Bell (33:02): "We still go to therapy every two weeks... Our children are these sensitive jellyfish... they sponge up our energy so hard."
• She recognizes the privilege and fortune in being able to maintain an amicable, collaborative relationship and notes it’s not possible in every situation.
• Discussion of not using the word "divorce" with their children; instead, reframing their family structure as "forever family" and two houses.
• Monica reflects on how divorce narratives have shifted since her childhood from inevitably negative to a greater variety of models and acceptance.

Reflections on Marriage — Then and Now

Timestamps: 34:41–43:53

• Lake confides she never wanted to get married, and incorporated those feelings into her second film, "I Do... Until I Don't."
  • Lake Bell (35:44): "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Be with the one you want to love... it seems ridiculous. I just was like, I don't... marriage is not working for most people."
• Her ex-husband Scott’s conviction and romance ultimately led her to go through with marriage; she compares her ambivalence to Monica’s childhood passion for weddings.
• Lake emphasizes the importance of reframing marriage as a success ("We have two great kids and I think of that marriage as a success." - 43:10) rather than a failure.

Family Expansion and Blended Households

Timestamps: 46:54–50:44

• Lake expresses excitement about the family getting larger in the future and being open to incorporating new partners and stepchildren into the mix.
  • Lake Bell (46:56): "I hope and pray... that my family only gets bigger. And if that means Scott is with someone who... has kids, I'm like, great. I get more kids."
• Monica notes how these narratives provide important alternate scripts for modern families.

On Reclaiming & Lifelong Learning

Timestamps: 67:38–69:31

• Monica closes by asking what Lake is reclaiming now.
• Lake Bell (67:38): “I have reclaimed my own literary education... I am reclaiming a lot of that kind of education, that educational kind of itch scratching, as it were.”
• Lake describes creating a book club for herself to read classics and fill in gaps she missed in her conservatory training, reflecting her ongoing hunger for growth.

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Notable Quotes

• On finding ‘your people’:
  “You are my people because you are conscientious, you're thoughtful. You want to do better because you recognize that it is so bad, all of it.”
  — Lake Bell (02:22)

• On societal change:
  "I have a storybook idea of how change works... And the reality is so much more the swinging pendulum.”
  — Monica Lewinsky (08:37)

• On raising kids in a complex world:
  “We still go to therapy every two weeks... Our children are these sensitive jellyfish... they sponge up our energy so hard.”
  — Lake Bell (33:02)

• On embracing neurodiversity:
  "Everyone's got a something. Okay. Sometimes you can't see it, but most people have a something."
  — Lake Bell (53:33)

• On reclaiming:
  “I am reclaiming... that educational kind of itch scratching, as it were.”
  — Lake Bell (67:38)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Activism, Race, and Accountability: 01:22–09:22
• Parenting, Discomfort, & Social Change: 06:41–13:05
• ADHD & Neurodiversity: 11:47–13:04; 52:34–61:28
• Creative Life, In a World, Sundance: 14:31–19:24
• Motorsport, Women in Racing: 20:33–25:23
• Theatrical Training, Identity: 25:40–31:09
• Conscious Uncoupling, Co-parenting: 31:09–49:47
• Marriage, Divorce, and Family Models: 34:41–49:47
• Reclaiming Education: 67:38–69:31

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Tone and Atmosphere

The episode is candid, humorous, and vulnerable—Lake Bell and Monica Lewinsky speak as equals, sharing lessons, struggles, and triumphs with self-awareness and warmth. The conversation is rich with lived experience, inside-baseball for filmmakers, and accessible discussions about social issues and family life.

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Takeaway

Lake Bell’s journey is a blueprint for thoughtful self-examination, resilience, and adaptation—whether confronting social systems, healing family structures, or reclaiming lost parts of oneself. Listeners walk away inspired to challenge their own assumptions, celebrate neurodiversity, and embrace perpetual growth.

Transcript

[Lake Bell]

I had already written in a world, but I was, quote, shopping for directors at the time when my agent was like, look, you want to direct, so why don't you direct it? I remember being at Sundance and it was the first year that there were, like, six women in competition, six filmmakers that were women and six that were men.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And the fact that you had written it and directed it and starred in it, and it just felt to me like you were opening this conversation for women about voice in a different way.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Lake Bell. Welcome to Reclaiming.

[Lake Bell]

Thank you.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Thanks for having me. I'm so excited. We got to make this happen. Yes. I'm gonna have some tea.

[Lake Bell]

Me too.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I know. Ready?

[Lake Bell]

Go. I'm so glad we're not chugging it, because I was nervous in that moment if we were chugging. And now I realize we were just sipping. We were sipping. We're sipping kind of gals today.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Exactly. So I was thinking about, I think where we met, I think was at the Deconstructing Karen documentary premiere that you hosted. Right. Or co hosted.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. Okay. I think that was, like. I think we were doing the social media thing, but, oh, human to human. And I was so impressed by you. Really impressed by you, I think, because I really work at trying to unpack some of my thoughts and actions and bias and race and so desperately want to be someone who's doing and behaving and thinking in the right way, like, the thinking leading to the action, if that makes sense. And so I really appreciated how you were talking about, I think, your activism there. And I remember the feeling, the feeling of, like, oh, that's how I want to be. That's where I want my thinking to be.

[Lake Bell]

It's funny. I find more and more community that way, where I can find resonance in how we're moving through the gross hypocrisies and pains of what social and cultural structures are. So I find that if I even relate to someone and meet them for the first time, sometimes it just comes out naturally. But immediately I can tell, like, okay, we are. You are my people because you are conscientious, you're thoughtful. You want to do better because you recognize that it is so bad, all of it.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And I Think that's a good way of putting it because we can always do better, right? Yeah, always do better. I should say that Deconstructing Karen was a documentary about race. Right. By Regina Jackson and Saira Rao. Saira Rao, right. And it was about their. Is it a nonprofit? Race to Dinner.

[Lake Bell]

Race to dinner, yeah. So basically they would host these dinner parties where they would invite white women

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

as two women of color.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, two women of color inviting white women to break bread with them and to have meaningful and very honest and sometimes, well, deeply uncomfortable conversations about race. Right. And so I think this was just an interesting exercise in a kind of clunky and uncomfortable, comfortable but really effective way to hold a mirror up to women who were kind of feeling that they wanted to do. They wanted to learn more about race and how to be participatory in society as a positive force and an ally, you know, and then of course, getting, getting jostled into the reality of like, you're racist, like, and that's not an accusation, it's just. So I, I sort of appreciated what they were doing. I thought it was like all these kinds of conversations, all this, all this discomfort, which I think white women traditionally are very uncomfortable. You know, they just. It feels like an affront, the idea of discomfort whilst I am a white woman who also am guilty of all kinds of shit. You know, And I think having that kind of accountability and you know, without self righteousness of like, I'm doing it the right way and other people aren't, you know, it's like all of that, that's all white supremacy is, all that shit is just folded into these systems and structures. And so I think I was like very open and flowing with what they had to say and what they were doing. Certainly with that documentary, I thought it was really interesting.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, Yeah. I had a very hard time having to look at some of my reactions to things.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, great though.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's like, I mean, I know that's the point, but I'm like, oh, I think I might have put them in a box away faster than they should

[Lake Bell]

have, which is so great to even talk about. Right. So like there was, I think there's one. The idea of, you know, the, the culture of love and light. Like all, all people are people, are people, are people, are people. And you know, that just negates the fact that there are structural systems that, you know, it's like love and light. Yeah. Some people don't have the privilege of love and.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Right.

[Lake Bell]

You know. Right. But anyway, so it's been really interesting from that point onwards because there were cohorts and things and all kinds of community forums and things like that that I joined with other like minded white women who wanted to quote, do better. And where I kind of came out on the other side of that is like, wow, this will forever be in. Be infused in my writing and in how I move through the world and thank God, and especially how I parent, you know, because you run into so much stuff as a parent, which it only echoes the fact that structurally there's so much. There's so much more to do, you know, that it's. We're so far from. We're just in the same place we've been, you know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

I mean, we find ourselves in a really sticky and tumultuous time.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I think let's say fucked up.

[Lake Bell]

Let's say fucked up. I think, you know what's interesting is like I have two young kids, you know, 11 and 8, and it always forces me to think of how to speak about really large concepts in words like sticky and tumultuous versus, like fucked up.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Because I'd like to say fucked up. And sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like, no, that is fucked up.

[Chandler Garcia]

Okay.

[Lake Bell]

I mean, you're 8 and you're 11, but like that's fucked up. So it's like you can't curse unless it's like that, you know, like then you can curse. But yeah, I just, I think more and more it's. It's almost like it's just a non starter. Especially like even like dating. Okay.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

If I'm dating and you know, someone doesn't have the worldview and the understanding that, you know, we are living in systems that are fucked, then I'm like, I'm not making out with you. Like there's is a non starter. You know, I had that.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I was actually on a date recently and.

[Lake Bell]

Flex.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lake Bell]

And so you were on a date.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I was on a date, but. And there was like a complicated part of the conversation of. Oh, we sit on very different sides of perspective here. And after.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, I want to know what the.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I'll talk you.

[Lake Bell]

Okay. Okay, fine. Okay.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But I. After I was like, okay, is this a deal breaker for me? You know, sort of. There were all these other things that were. That I was like, okay, that was working. That were working for Checkbox for a second date.

[Lake Bell]

Right, okay.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And I was sort of like, okay. Because I love a heated debate. Like love that discourse. Discourse.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, but intelligent discourse. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

There's so many systems I Think what's so hard, or at least I find so fucking frustrating, is that I have a storybook idea of how change works. And it's like, there's an aha moment. There's enough awareness of people, and the thing changes. And the reality is so much more the Swinging Pendulum, you know, that it's like, okay, enough people, and you get movement from where we were, and we see change, but then it sort of goes back a bit. And it may not go back as far, although certain ways, it feels like it's gone back farther now. But the change happens over time with a lot of movement back and forth. Or do you not. I feel like you're looking at me like, I'm not sure I agree with you.

[Lake Bell]

No, I'm hoping that's correct. I think that I'm thinking about how. Yeah, I feel both always ever hopeful and ever disgruntled with the fact that I think I'm a little dark right now. Yeah, I think, to be honest with you, I think I roll very optimistic, and I'm just. I'm pissed, you know, I'm mad. I'm mad as hell, you know? And I feel like it only thrusts me further into activism and into being participatory in the things that I care about and surrounding myself with people of like. But then also really trying to open my brain and to find generosity of spirit to those who think differently than me. But, man, it's hard. And when I think about change, I'm like, I think it's totally possible, but it just feels like there's such a gross amount of privilege. That part of that privilege is not having to fight or the ability to

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

turn away, even if it's five minutes

[Lake Bell]

to, like, when people say, oh, God, you know, I just had to turn the. I had to turn the news off, you know, And I'm like, I'm.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That I'm. That often.

[Lake Bell]

I understand. I mean, look, I've got a kid with epilepsy. I've got a kid who's, you know, who struggles with mental wellness. And, you know, we all have our private stories and storms in our. Under our own roofs that might cause us to say, you know what? I need to take a break from the news in this moment. But I really try to not do that out of. Out of just trying to honor the. Yeah, whatever. But good for me. I don't know. I just feel like it's more good

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

for you because you're witnessing, you know, and it's not like I don't feel like I Witness. But I feel like I.

[Chandler Garcia]

I look

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

away more than I would like to think I would. Does that make sense? Like, the person I would like to think of myself as does not look away as much as I actually do.

[Lake Bell]

Right. And I mean, that's a lot of self judgment there. But I think, you know what I mean? Like, I don't.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Or self awareness, you know, So, I

[Lake Bell]

mean, do you have adhd? Is that what you're saying?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Are we allowed to talk about that? Oh, yeah, of course.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I mean, I first I self diagnosed on Instagram. Of course I was like, oh, other people don't open their mail. Oh, my God.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Wow. Okay. I've been like, chastising myself my entire life for what's wrong with me that I can't put shit away. I walk into the kitchen and all the drawers are, you know, all the stuff is open. It's like, who did that? Except I'm the only one there. So it's.

[Lake Bell]

Well, no, I was just wondering because I think sometimes one of my dearest friends has adhd. And it's been fun to kind of talk to her about her sort of finding herself in that way and going, oh, thank God. I now understand why my brain and my daughter has adhd. And there was something really interesting about the kind of. There's so much chatter. There's so much going on. Right. That for your brain and perhaps your neurological makeup, that it would make sense that you actually do need to take pause from the noise and how loud the news is coming in at you. You know what I'm saying? Like,

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

let's go somewhere more positive.

[Lake Bell]

Okay. And now for something completely different.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Just because I was thinking, too, is, you know, getting ready to chat and not just of how we met and then reconnecting it. Uzo came on. Uzo Aduba came on. So. And that, you know, so we were talking about having all reconnected at Laura Brown's and Christina o'. Neill's.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, my God. That was fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

All the cool girls get fired. Yeah, it was. It was good. It was a good night.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. I got fired. I got fired.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Where'd you get fired from?

[Lake Bell]

I got fired from. I was on a show called Boston Legal and David E. Kelly, I was on that show and I was series regular, and I. And David Kelly, he fired me. And it was like, I smile because I was kind of like, all right, I'm in the mix. Yeah, I got a story, you know, and it was. Oh, my God, I was so heartbroken. But I also was like, the way that David E. Kelly, the way he writes, he's, like, a masterful writer. And he. You know, he had written it in a way that kind of cued me that it was coming. Oh, yeah. And so I was like, yeah, this adds up. I remember having, like, episodes where I'd have one line in the whole episode, and I was like, well, I guess I'll get my coat, you know? Cause it would just. I could feel it coming. But I remember it was, like, indelible, that feeling of being fired.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

You know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Well, I think it's deep and primal. Like, get out of the group.

[Lake Bell]

Leave the village. Like, we don't like you anymore. I know. We don't want you anymore. You know, and so I love what Laura did with that book. And I think it's. I think it's. You know, everybody's got a story like that.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. Yeah. But I realized that you kind of played. You were a part of. We'll just say that. You wouldn't realize. You wouldn't have known that in 2013, your movie. In a World.

[Lake Bell]

In a World. Do the Voice In a World.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Right. Was. I saw it at a time when I was, like, in this place where I had been. I had already decided, like, okay, I'm gonna try and go out and be a public person, because there are no other options for me. All the things I was trying to do failed. And it was sort of that I was in that chrysalis moment, and unbeknownst to me, the steps I would take in, like, the next six months would help, you know, change the course of my life. And so, because it was, you know, literally and metaphorically about voice and the fact that you had written it and directed it and starred in it, and it just. It just felt to me. It felt to me like you were opening this conversation for women about voice in a different way. And so I don't. I'm not cool enough to know if it's a cult classic or not, but it should be.

[Lake Bell]

I think it is.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay.

[Lake Bell]

You know, I'm gonna.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Like, everybody listening. I'm allowed to rewatch it.

[Lake Bell]

But I do think that, you know, the movie definitely changed the course of my life. It was a feminist manifesto. It was like a total. You know, I was like, oh, if I can. Trojan Horse, you know, real kind of feminist thought about the voice and how we sort of think of omniscient voice and how we think of voice of authority in this comedy, then perhaps I can move the needle in some small way. And, yeah, it's Interesting. That movie was my first sort of belief in myself too. So it was. I had written and directed a short film that I brought to Sundance. Cause I always wanted to direct, but I just thought, oh, God, you know, I'm not gonn. I had already written in a world, but I was, quote, shopping for directors at the time when my agent was like, look, you want to direct, so why don't you direct it? And I was like, I would never do that. I have never directed anything. I would never have the audacity. I know. I said if I did a short film first, to try it out. And he's like, then write a short film and fucking do that. And so that's what I did. And I loved that push. And I do think that it said something about not only just like, hey, take the rein. I mean, that was actually before a lot of people were doing. The actors were taking on the kind of writing and directing and all this stuff.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And especially, I think women too.

[Lake Bell]

Women particularly. Yeah. So I felt that, and I felt it felt good. I remember being at Sundance and there were. It was the first year that there were like, six women in competition. Six filmmakers that were women and six that were men or something like that. It was like half and half. And actually one of the people there was Ryan Coogler, who I'm still friends with.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, wow. Oh, huge fan.

[Lake Bell]

I know. Huge fan. I know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Didn't he get the most.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, Most nominations.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I know. It's fucking crazy.

[Lake Bell]

So happy for him. I really love him. And I. I ended up doing, like, a small part in Wakanda forever because, you know, like, we've been in the same, like, Sundance class. And I remember being, like, on the set of Wakanda and just be like, dude, yeah, look at what you're doing. Like, just remembering us in 2013 in the snow, you know?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's adorable.

[Lake Bell]

I know. It was really cool. It's really.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's just. It's really sweet. Yeah, it's really sweet. I have that a little bit with, like, TED Talk cohort. Yeah, of sort of. Yeah, yeah. That same thing of like, you're in

[Lake Bell]

the same place, right?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

You're a group of people going through, like, a bananas experience. Like, your younger self is like, what?

[Lake Bell]

Yes. Joey Soloway was also in that.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I just saw Joey. Yeah, I guess it was October, but

[Lake Bell]

so same cohort, same little class. So it was really special.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But they're very talented.

[Lake Bell]

And actually Joey was on how to make it in America Season 2, a show that I did for HBO. Basically, HBO brought them on to do, like, to write for my character or whatever. Cause predominantly that writer's room was all dudes. And so they had a unique perspective that really changed my character's path. So that was really fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's a pretty. That's a pretty impactful Sundance.

[Lake Bell]

It was an impactful Sundance. It was a good class. There's other people.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

There's like an interesting. I don't know what. I feel like there's an interesting movie or something that has that. I don't know what that is, but that idea.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, and then growing beyond.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I don't know. Yeah, exactly.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match, limited by state law. Not available in all states. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match, limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I am obsessed that you have a women's racing movie that you want to do.

[Lake Bell]

Yes. So funny. Just. Just came from a pitch.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. Because I feel like with one success, doesn't it even end with the Brad Pitt character going to the Baja 1000?

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. I can't believe you know about that. Yeah. So my father's in motorsport, so I grew up in the racing world. He was a real estate developer that was an avid collector and amateur racer and lover of the sport. And so he turned his real estate prowess to race car tracks, and he bought and restored and lovingly rebuilt the Virginia International Raceway, which is a historic track. Really beautiful. And this is all elevations and S's. So it's not the American road course where you've got, like, the oval, which is no shade. It's just my dad is very obsessed with the. The European shape of road course.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. I didn't even know there was a difference.

[Lake Bell]

Yes. Okay. So, but you can envision it, right? Like instead of those, like, ovals that you see in the nascar, then you think about, like, more of the racetracks that have all those, like, cool S's and circle, you know, and then they straightaways and things like that. Right. And elevation. So it's like you got to go up a hill and then down a hill, you know, it's like, very exciting.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So I'm like, having that image from Greece with Corona, even though that's just the straight.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, God. Yeah. Okay. You know, whatever you need to get you there. I know, but I think it's funny. I ended up writing a car column for the Hollywood Reporter for me. Oh, really? For a couple years. Yeah. Like, do you remember what it was called, Test Drive with Blake Bell? So check it out.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And were you already an actor at that point?

[Lake Bell]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, it's so funny, the story goes. But my publicist came to me and said, you know, just knowing you, you know, Hollywood Reporter has been looking for an actress to do this column. And I think they went to Nicole Kidman. And she said no or something like that. And I was like, can I do it? And I'm like, I'm no Nicole Kidman, but boy, do I. You know, I know my car. So anyway, I ended up doing it and being a writer and being somebody who, you know, I'm not like, hey, I can fix your car for you. But I definitely enjoy the experiential nature of what it is to be in different kinds of automobiles and, like, you know, kind of what it makes you feel. I don't race. I am an aspiring collector.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, okay.

[Lake Bell]

When the bank account comes, I will. I did have a 1979 Z28 Camaro, which was really special. Her name was Janet. I had to sell her. But it's okay.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

RIP Janet.

[Lake Bell]

But I'll. You know, that's okay. I've experienced. I had Janet in my life, and now I get to. When I get the next job, I will have another thing. But I like it for my children, too, because I think that I also had a 1988 Land Cruiser, which is a beautiful shape. That shape is great.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's epoxy. That's what I wanted. I had a 79 CJ7 that was green with a white top, and I had a green pea sticker on it. And someone wrote of shit underneath my.

[Lake Bell]

And that's okay.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's part of that was growing up in la.

[Lake Bell]

I guess so.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But I love. I love those old lane cruisers.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. And that feeling. I feel like cars and women, I think. See, I feel that women are a great audience for a story in and around the car space. Because, I mean, me and my sisters, we grew up in the trenches of these race tracks and the pits, literally. And my brother was the one who. My dad sort of Invited predominantly to the racing party. I think that's probably what. I don't. I also don't. You know, it's like, I'm not as interested in speed as I am in the kind of narrative and story and experience of cars and how they smell and feel and sound. You know, I like all the poetry around it, but I'm not as. I'm kind of like, you know, I'll get there when I get there. You know, I. Yeah, I never was into this. I wasn't a speed demon on that. But anyway, that the Baja 1000 was very. I just felt like, wow. The messiness and the throttle and the volatile nature of that particular off road race is exciting to me and very sexy and very strange and exotic. And so I have this script that I'm very excited to.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I love the idea of this kind of a story being told through a woman's face.

[Lake Bell]

I know. And that's the thing. There's like, no.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And also, that should be even sexier to men. Right?

[Lake Bell]

I think, like, we'll see. Okay, I'm feeling good. I hope the next time I see you, I'm like, I got a green light. But.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Exactly.

[Lake Bell]

Coming soon. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Now, you grew up in New York though, right? And did you. Were you exposed to Broadway as a kid and that's sort of where the bug bit you?

[Lake Bell]

My mom would take me to Broadway a lot and so, yeah, it's so funny. I. I think I liked the feeling, the arrival, the kind of nerves and the excitement of live theater. But I was really pulled to filmic productions for season.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Have you done theater?

[Lake Bell]

I've done a ton of theater. So I went to a drama school in England. I studied in theater first before I came out to Hollywood because that was my mom's mandate. She said, if you want to be an actor, you have to go and study in England.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, okay. Oh, study in England.

[Lake Bell]

She was like, you got to go to drama. Drama school, conservatory. And I was like, mom, these are my hot years. I gotta go to Hollywood. She's like, what? That's how I talked when I was a little girl. But yeah, it was so silly because I think when you're young, you're just like, oh, like. And especially at that time, it was like the currency was. The only thing I have to offer is that you're visually attractive. You know, that's sort of how we're.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's the culture.

[Lake Bell]

I know. And now I'm like, whatever. It was just so childish and like, green, you know, to think that these Are your hot ears. I literally had that thought, and I'm being very, like, honest about it, where I thought, oh, you know, my whole. I'm gonna be burned up by the time I'm 22, you know, like. So, anyway, the point is, I did it. I sweated it out. I went to drama school, and it was fucking great. And I'll never forget it. It was like.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So I went to graduate school in London. Oh, okay. But for. Not for four years. So. And I loved it. I just loved it. And I think it's such a good experience. Privileged experience, but such a good experience to move to a new country. You know, you really sort of have to. You learn different aspects of yourself, and you see your country in a really different way, too.

[Lake Bell]

Totally. Yeah. I remember that everyone at my college was like, they're like, oh, my God, you're from New York. They're like, is your dad part of the mob? And I was like, is he part of the what? They're like the mob. And I was like, is that what. So you're thinking that New York, like, everyone's walking around eating bagels, and they're part of the mob, But. And I was like, well, I don't know. Maybe he is. Maybe isn't. Don't mess with me. I was the only American at my college, so I really had to wear it well, you know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, was that, like, good?

[Lake Bell]

Bad? It was kind of good because I think, you know, you got to. You know, it's like when you're younger, you're just like, what's my identity? Oh, my God.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

The number of identities I tried on. Right?

[Lake Bell]

I mean, people would say to me, they said, God, did you. Was it like you lost your accent when you, you know, your American accent when you were there? I said, listen to me. I was the only American. If anything, I got more American. Like, I was like, hey, guys, what's up? Like, I was just like, you know, especially, like, drumming up the New York a little bit. Like, I really, you know, I was like, hey, guys, you know, I'm your, you know, token New Yorker American, you know?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But it's funny, my younger brother, like, part of his job, when we talk on the phone when I was there, was like, to make sure I was not getting the accent. Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

He's like, keep it real. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

He's like, you're kind of getting that lilt at the end of the sentence.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. Which is.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And then we can.

[Lake Bell]

What are you doing on the weekend? Yeah. They're like, all right.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But Yeah, I still spend a lot of time there. Do you go?

[Lake Bell]

Yes. Yeah. Because all my. All my mates. All my mates from college are there. And I did. I will say this, though, you know, as an actor, it was a total bucket list to be able to go and make man up, which was I got to play a fully realized British character improvising with Simon Pegg and like, really getting to live that out. And it was so fun going back to England with all my mates from college and fully speaking in the accent through and through without ever taking breaks so that I could improvise within the language. And I was being coached throughout. So it was really fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's cool.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. I love how I feel like the British way of sort of doing the acting thing is so different than here. And just there's. It feels like it's a smaller pool and people are not typecast in the way they are here, and they're sort of encouraged to look like themselves their whole life.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, yeah. You know, well, in England, generally speaking, I just remember the largest difference was that, you know, in families and just culturally, to be an actor is considered at the level of doctorship. Right. Like, if you're. You're like a family would be very proud. Oh, you know, my child's studying acting. You know, they're gonna be an actor, you know, as, you know, or a doctor or whatever. It's like there are. It's considered quite noble and quite.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's esteemed.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, it's esteemed for me also. It is very dear. I'm so psyched when I get to shoot there, work there. Cause then it's like I get to realize, you know, play house and pretend that I, you know, I would move there in a heartbeat. But I have a family. I have my ex husband and his life and my children.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

You did two years of coaching, parenting.

[Lake Bell]

So we consciously uncoupled. And I'm very proud of it. Scott and I both are really proud of our relationship as two grownups who love these children. We're the only people who have had this experience with these children, and we really honor and appreciate our relationship as co parents. And I can still say I love you and same, same.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. Because it's family.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

I mean, like, I don't. We're not gonna be romantically together, but I totally love him. Like, why would I not? You know, we also. We're very. We had the privilege of really taking the time and energy and space to do it. I also think that I'm sure parents who are listening to this, if you have a child who has any kind of medical or neurological condition, you do have a bond with your co parent. So we had gone through pretty significant trenches together with Nova's epilepsy, and my son had some difficulties at birth. So I think given that we went through those things together, I would feel like I'm like, this is my soldier in life. This is a comrade of mine, you know, And I think he feels that way too. So all the bullshit that we had to kind of, you know, get through, which is real too, you know, the. The kind of complexity of what it is to dismantle a marriage into a new shape of family that, you know, it's still. Yeah, it's still. It took work, but it's like. And we still go to therapy every two weeks. We do a call. Wow. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. Just the two of you or is it family?

[Lake Bell]

No, no, just the two of us with the therapist. And we're just getting through things. And it's like some people are like, God damn. Like, that's a lot. It's been four years. You're still doing that. And the truth is, is like, our children are these sensitive jellyfish, right? And they can just, you know, they sponge up our energy so hard. And especially with having a child who's very sensitive and has neurological differences, it's like we just try to keep it as honest and clear as possible between us as the co parents.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I really admire that.

[Lake Bell]

Thank you. Yeah, I admire it.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. Good.

[Lake Bell]

I'm like, holy shit.

[Chandler Garcia]

It's interesting.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I have a friend who, she got divorced. It was a long time ago, but I remember when they got separated and she had said to her now ex husband, she said, I think we need to separate now because in six months I'm gonna hate your fucking guts. And like, we can't have that for the boys, you know, sort of a thing. And I was really impressed by that. She's now a therapist, but.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, she's now a therapist. Yeah. Ogiver.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, okay, that insight is there, but I. It was a really. That was just very eye opening to me.

[Lake Bell]

I also, I do want to say that I recognize that it is not possible for everyone to do that. Right.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. And certain circumstances, I think we didn't

[Lake Bell]

have a cataclysmic occurrence that rendered it impossible for us to connect as co parents. So I feel grateful for that.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. I was curious. I heard you talking about in some podcast, but that you had never wanted to get Married?

[Lake Bell]

Yes.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So what is. Okay, like, how do you. How do you look at all of that now? Is it just like, has it all evolved or is there. I don't know if this is. It sounds rude because I don't mean it in a rude way, but, like, do you look back and go, oh, she knew. Younger me knew. But I mean, how could you say. Because you have your children.

[Lake Bell]

So, yeah, I think that, you know, it's funny. Cause my second feature that I wrote and directed and star in called I Do, until I don't really navigates this question.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I haven't seen it yet.

[Lake Bell]

I would love for you to see it actually. Based on. Okay, yeah. Things that we've talked about. But I really wrestled with it. So I started writing that movie when I was that girl who said, what's the Point? I think the initial title for that movie was what's the Point? And it had to do with marriage.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And. Okay, so this is pre marriage. You're like, I don't wanna get married. Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

I just felt like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Be with the one you want to love. And that's who you love and why. What are you doing? You're doing a party? What is it you're doing like this. You gotta stand up in front of everyone. You gotta make everyone get a fucking dress. Like, what are we doing? Like, this seems ridiculous. I just was like, I don't. And it's seemingly not working for most people. Like, everyone bitches, right? They get married. I was just like, there's no. And I was very vocal about that even when I met Scott. And Scott was like, he's like, I was sure you were gonna say no. He's like, you were very public.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I was counting on you saying no. No.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, he's counting on me saying no.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

He's got a tattoo of your name.

[Lake Bell]

So that was like nine days into hanging out. He's covered in tattoos, but it was not small. It was down the side of his body. I just said the word.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

No man has gotten my name tattooed.

[Lake Bell]

The night is young, honey. The night is young.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

There's an Australian model I've never met, I know who had my name tattooed down there. Yes, I know.

[Lake Bell]

That's so racy.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Exactly.

[Lake Bell]

You should call him.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Maybe if I don't know exactly. I'm like, I haven't been a cougar yet. I was a sort of a cougar when I was. I think I was 30 and I dated a 24 year old.

[Lake Bell]

And then that's not.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I don't know. He was too weird because he was. Oh, no. I must have been 28 or 29. Cause he was the same age as my brother, and we're four and a half years apart.

[Lake Bell]

And I was like, that's mad that that's just dating. But, yeah, so the night is young. You could get that done. But, yeah, no, he did get that tattoo. It was very romantic. I was definitely. People were like, were you freaked out? I was like, no. I was kind of like, yeah, the connection is that strong. And I just remember if I ever were to get married, I would need somebody to kind of throw me over their shoulder a little bit about it and be like, they have conviction about it, and what a life experience. Let's do it. Fuck it, you know? And he. Scott was very like, let's just jump off the cliff. You know, that's his vibe. So I'm very grateful for the experience. I ended up doing the big party and the whole thing. And the truth is, I just love party. I like. I like throwing a party. So I was like, let's do this. And. But I'd never dreamed of. I never had that thing where it was like, you dress up your doll in the wedding dress.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I'm that girl.

[Lake Bell]

You did.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I. I like. I mean, I joke. I came out of the womb, like, wanting in a veil and a bridal dress. Like, I. I remember being a kid. I must have been three, because we were in the Presidio, and I got as a gift, this box. It was like, I think every girl has gotten this. Maybe you didn't get it, but it's like a bridal box when you're a kid. It's this, like, you know, polyester bridal gown with a veil and these little. The whole point. The little plastic high heels. Ooh.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, yeah, those. Those high heels I had. But I think it was more like a princess vibe.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. So mine was a wedding, like, bride vibe. And I just.

[Lake Bell]

You were like, this is me.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

I think what was interesting is that I was so dead set, even as a little girl, to be an actor, that it was like, I'll wear a wedding dress in a movie one day. You know, Like, I'll be. I'll live out the fantasy of all that sh. But I don't need the actual.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Also. Cause my parents were wildly divorced. I don't know. It was a bit messy.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

My parents divorced when I was 14.

[Lake Bell]

But you still wanted it. You're like, I'll do it. Right, Exactly. Well, I Don't know. We all imprint in different ways. And I definitely was like, no, but I wanted kids. I was like, I do like that. That role, I feel, is very cool. Like kids. And I want to talk to them about things. I want to hear about what they got going on. I mean, my kids are so funny, too. Scott and I have an ongoing kind of notion, shared notes where we send each other just great quotes. One of the funny ones from Ozzy recently was dad, do I have a father? And he's like, do you? Oh, okay. You know, like, he didn't realize what that word was.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Right?

[Lake Bell]

Cause that's. Yeah. So he had to ask his dad whether he.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's amazing.

[Lake Bell]

But, yeah, I think they, you know, they're ever existential, they're ever philosophical. It's just like having a really cool kind of like, hi, friend, you know, with you. And you're like, yeah, man, I don't know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Like, well, they just see things. I think that.

[Lake Bell]

Right.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

I think they see things. I don't have kids, but I'm very close to my niece and nephew, and they are 10 and 8, and so

[Lake Bell]

it's like, you know, I remember Ozzy being like, I just feel so happy. I almost want to, like, touch an eye. I was like, yeah, I get it.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Like,

[Lake Bell]

just touch an eye. Like, I don't know why that resonates, but you're just like, oh, no.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's just the kinds of things my niece made me. A little book with a whole long story, and the end of it is now you know what love is. I mean, like, come on.

[Lake Bell]

I know.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Calm the fuck on. And my nephew was like, I'm writing a movie and there's a character, and you're playing gemstone woman. And these are the. This. Cause I'm obsessed with crystals, and he knows that. And, like.

[Lake Bell]

So you're gemstone.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, I was Gemstone Woman.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, my God, I can't wait to see this movie.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's like, it's so interesting to just see. I think when they're. Before they've been calcified by culture in this different way. Right. And they just kind of living from their heart and their soul and that expression. They just see so much that we take for granted or have forgotten or ignore.

[Lake Bell]

Well, that's why I love what I do. I mean, I really love my job for that reason. I feel like I play in the sandbox of that kind of. Of creativity and wild imagination a lot. And I think, you know, it's almost like marriage had a rigidity to it that I didn't really relate to. It felt institutional or, you know, it felt like Hallmark card. I don't know. It just was like. I don't get it. Just to hearken back to that. So I think. Yeah. The movie that I wrote, basically, I wrote when I didn't believe in marriage. Met Scott during the writing of it. He then asked me to marry him. And then as I was doing post on the movie, our marriage was dissipating. Yeah. So it was like. And struggling. So it was just like this wild.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Did you think at any point about sort of like somehow adding a meta thread?

[Lake Bell]

Well, the meta thread in it is that there's a documentarian at the core of it who's doing. Who's talking about polyamory and kind of debunking the idea that marriage. That marriage is archaic and that the concept is clearly not working. And that there was this German politician who had proposed at this one point, this is what inspired the whole thing. But that proposed that marriage should be a seven year contract with an option to renew. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought that was pretty sober and made a lot of sense.

[Chandler Garcia]

I agree.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. So it's like. Cause you do come up to this. The whole seven year itch thing is real, I think. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Persevered whatchamacallit. You know, it's a cliche for a reason.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. I think it's real. You know, it's like a little life cycle. And in relationship, I think it's very successful relationship to make it to seven years. I'm like, there's no shade at all. I think Scott and I did great. We really did. Like, we have two great kids and I think of that marriage as a success.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's good.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's great.

[Lake Bell]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not gonna be like, we failed. I'm like, God damn. I didn't even think I was gonna get married.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Right.

[Lake Bell]

But when I think about future, I don't think I would get. But then again, I'm also wise enough to know that I can't know. But I don't go, oh my God, I can't wait to get married again. But I would like to be in partnership again. That's really fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

All right, that's good. How do you talk about marriage to Nova and Ozzy?

[Lake Bell]

So this is wild. So they, you know, we never used the word divorce around them.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay.

[Lake Bell]

So we just were like, so interesting.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's really interesting.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. That's got a lot of. It's fraught Right. Like, it's got some heavy. There's, like, something karmically to, like, I don't know. So energetically. We did not use it. I know. That's very hippie of us. Anyway, the point is we. And we, by the way, we're freaking hippie. Okay. We went to the conscious uncle. We have a guru. Okay, whatever. Point is, like. And I love all that shit, you know, I'm from Manhattan. Like, you know, whatever. But I. I like reality. But I'm also into spirituality. And the. We said to them, basically, so mom and dad got married, had you guys, and we did it. We did it. So we did marriage. And now we never use the word but. And now we have two houses, and mom and dad are forever mom and dad, obviously. And we have two houses now. So mom and dad are friends and family forever. So all of us, we're forever family. We are not married.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

They're like, but we want you to be married. You know, they would say, like, well, it would be better if you were in the same house. I mean, did you ever think of us? And I was like, thank you. Thank you. Did you ever think of us? I remember her and being like, oh, my God. I was like, so we only thought of you is almost fair to say. Yeah. And mom and dad are really happy and loving as mom and dad forever and forever family. And now we get to have two houses and we get to be forever family in this shape. But, yeah, they totally give me guff sometimes. They're just like, we don't like it. Like, we want one house, you know, and we were thinking about it, and we think, this is bullshit. You know, we changed it. Yeah. Like, return that. You just never even thought of us, you know, and all of that. I just go, thank you so much for saying that, because that's a hard thing to kind of. You know, I try not to get into my own head of, like, I ruined their life. You know, we go more to the space of thank you. Gosh, that's. That. What you just told me there. That's a big thing to say. So I'm interested in. Tell me more about what you're. What made you feel that and where did that come from? But thank you. Because that's hard. You just brought that up. Are you. Does it feel sticky? Does it feel uncomfortable? Like they're like, well, you know, I just feel like, you know, if we were both in the same house, we would all hang out more and we all get. And I was like, that is a really Good point. Should we do family dinner on Sunday this week? You know, just stuff like that. And we do that. We do holidays together. We, you know, if we have a special partnership with a new person, we fold that in.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Has that felt complicated or.

[Lake Bell]

No, it's like it can be really, really special. I mean, I once again, never really envisioned marriage, but I did like the idea of big family. And so I do like the idea of. I hope and pray and want to put into the universe that my family only gets bigger. And if that means Scott is with someone who. I won't speak to his personal life, but if he's with someone who has kids, I'm like, great. I get more kids, you know, and I get a sister. You know, it's like. That's how I look at it. Yeah. And it would be hard if I didn't. If, you know, chemistry wise, I didn't get along with that person. But so far in our life, in our four years together being divorced people, it's been good energetically.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's amazing. I think it's really. It's really impressive.

[Lake Bell]

It's fun. I think it's like, woulda. I mean, I do feel. I know I'm lucky. I know that, you know, Scott and I talk about it all the time because.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

But here's what I think is both interesting and important, is that when my parents got divorced, there was one narrative around divorce. It was sort of. It was going to be bad. The question was, how bad was it going to be for each family? Like, there was no. There was no. Oh, my. You know, our parents, like, I don't know, did things together, whatever that looks like.

[Lake Bell]

Did they ever. Did they remarry and everything?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

They both remarried. And my, My. And both my stepparents had, you know, impactful roles in my life. My stepdad was a lot older than my mom, and he passed away, but, you know, he was.

[Lake Bell]

Did. Did they have kids, too, that they brought into the fold?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So my stepdad, because he was older, his kids, like, his oldest kid was my mom's age.

[Lake Bell]

Oh. So, yeah. Yeah. My stepfather. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. So it was sort of. So it was that. So we definitely. There was more family there. And then my dad and stepmom did not have more kids, so.

[Lake Bell]

Right. Yeah. And I think it can be really fruitful. I mean, I come from a family that is. Have steps, you know, original marriage. We call it the original marriage. Depends what perspective you're coming from. But yeah. So it's like, I have full brothers, I have half sisters, I have Stepbrothers. And then my mom got married again, and it's like, okay, I guess he's got some sons, but it's more like just like family members. I don't know, you know? And I think that especially as a writer, as a creative, I'm like, yeah, she has some personality. I'm like, I'm taking notes, you know, I think it's great. So it.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. But I think the point is that it's really important to be able to see. Like, I'm fascinated listening to you and hearing that this is possible for people.

[Lake Bell]

It's totally possible. I also think that for kids, at least for my kids and certainly how I was raised, which was definitely a messier divorce. However, I did have to become well adjusted. I am, I think, very well adjusted with humans. I can read humans really well. I can read a room because I was in a lot of rooms with a lot of different kinds of humans and people that were considered very important. So, like, this is your stepmother. This is your stepmother's brother and his wife. And then this. And this is your step grandparents. And here's your stepfather and his. You know, it's like, there's a lot of people. Yeah. And you're all of a sudden, like, taking notes on. There's a lot of ways to live. Yeah. And there's a lot of ways to be. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. I think I would. I remembered because there were a handful of families that had gotten divorced. We weren't the first, but it was early. And I remember one of my friends whose parents had divorced, she said, it's great. You get double the presents for the holidays. That is like, oh, okay. But divorce was very hard for me.

[Lake Bell]

My kids only get the same. You know what they get. Cause we do Christmas together, and so they just get at one. That's the only problem. If your parents get along well, I

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

have a feeling they're not going to actually listen to this podcast, so.

[Lake Bell]

They're not going to listen to it. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So it's okay. They don't know what they're missing. They won't know what they're missing.

[Chandler Garcia]

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[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Talk to me about the children's book that you wrote.

[Lake Bell]

All about Brains.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Brains. All about Brains. Why do I want to say all about the brains?

[Lake Bell]

Well, because that's. Your brain has a different.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Lake Bell]

My belly just growled. Okay. All about Brains really came from my daughter's unique perspective and way of navigating her own condition, which is epilepsy. It was actually during COVID when, bless her, all kids had to do online school and they had share day, and that was in the height of Nova's epilepsy. So she would have 11 to 16 seizures a day. Not all grand mal grandma are the fancy ones.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, right.

[Lake Bell]

They sound good.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Someone close to me has epilepsy.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, really? Okay. So, yeah, a lot of people have epilepsy and they often don't talk about it. And so I wanted to encourage Nova to be comfortable talking about it. Everyone's got a something. Okay. Sometimes you can't see it, but most people have a something.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Look, I think anyone who is a parent of a child dealing with something like epilepsy, you go through so many emotions and your connected fight is to figure out how to relieve her of those seizures. Right. That they become kind of the enemy. And that was hard because all of a sudden, Nova would start apologizing for having a seizure, and we were like, holy, we gotta change the narrative right now. So at that point, when we realized we had to change the narrative, I started researching and I saw that Joan of Arc had epilepsy strongly.

[Chandler Garcia]

Oh, really?

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. Yeah. It's thought that lots of amazing thinkers, including people like Edgar Allan Poe, which is kind of a darker but very, very poetic thinker. And so. So I told Nova about this. I was like, hey, here's the deal, okay? Cause I had to always chronicle them. I had to write them down. In a notebook of when she would have them and how long they were. Was it a myoclonic seizure? Which are more like stutter seizures that are like, kind of. Those kind of things versus, like, a big grandma. So for her own reports and medical research for her case, I needed to do that so she'd have to report them to me. So if she was in the other room, mom, I just had a stutter, you know? So what we did was say, you know, Scott and I banded together, and we were like, okay, so here's the deal. When a lot of these really great thinkers, like Joan of Arc, basically, she's like a warrior child, okay? That, like, saved all her people. She's a girl, but she, like, threw on all this, like, amazing armor and had a horse and a sword. And I didn't talk about the burning at the stake part, but I was like, this is a wonderful, like, kind of warrior princess, you know, for you to think about. Like, you. And then all these other really smart thinkers, these poets and scientists and all these people had epilepsy. So when you are having a seizure, that is you firing on all cylinders. Let me know when you're feeling extra sparkly and extra smart. Smart. Will you let me know when that happens? Because I want to see. And so then she was like, oh, okay. So then she would have one and be like, mom, smile. I just had one. I was like, okay, are you feeling like. Like you've got some good thoughts today? Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. Okay, cool. Let me write it down. Let me. Was it a stutter one? Okay, cool. You know, and I was like, was it like double stutter or, like, one second. Oh, okay. Okay. Double stutter. Okay, I see you. Yeah. So then we turned it into fun, and we turned it into. This is just you. And this is part of, like, you're just really smart. And just let me know when you're feeling particularly smart. And so that's what happened. It started to turn into that, and then she felt lighter, you know, and rolling back to Covid. So when she was doing Share Day in Covid, they were all on Zoom. And the Epilepsy foundation has a really cool thing where you get these little buttons for advocacy and for education and. And during Share Day, I said to her, I was like, do you wanna get one of the advocacy buttons or, like, an education button? Cause, like, maybe you could share. I don't know. And she was like, oh, you know, a little nervous. She was probably around, like, 6 years old, and she said, okay. So they said, nova, what's your share? And she goes, I have a share. That's not a thing. But I have epilepsy. And everyone said, you know, the other kid, first of all, I love the teacher, because the teacher didn't say anything. She let it play out. The kids went, what's epilepsy? And she's like, it's kind of like I have, like, sparkles in my brain, like electrical charges that, like, misfire, and then it causes seizures. And they were like, what Seizures? You know? And it was like the most beautiful, organic conversation about something that feels so scary and taboo. And Nova just peer to peer, explained to them really thoughtfully, really kind of accurately about what her experience is and what they are, and completely demystified it, normalized it, humanized it. And they were like, cool, who's next? You know, I have a dinosaur that farts. You know, it was like, moving on. You know, and that was such an inspiring interaction that I was like, oh, there's something to that. I would love for Nova to have had a book that kind of just was peer to peer discussion without, like, this bunny's different. Like, no, what if it's just kids who are like, oh, I have dyslexia, which I do have. Or, you know. Yeah. The big scary word. Epilepsy. So what is it? Yeah. And seizures. Ooh, that sounds scary. It is kind of scary sometimes, you know, and just trying to be like, pull stigma off. Yeah. Just stigma off. And, like, just get in the room with it. Like, let's just be really clear.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

And give them the benefit of understanding complex ideas.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah. I mean, I think in time, I wonder if neurodiversity is actually a word that might go away because it's just gonna be understood. Everything is a spectrum.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

You know, I think in that same way that we go with sexuality and gender and.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. It's like, well, what is your neurodiversity versus like.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

And where. Like, okay, where are you at? Who's this person who's right here that we say you're neurodiverse. And this person who's right here. Like, what is that line? You know, I mean, I think they're just. Because I see it in all the different ways that neurodiverse people are. In my world, no two are the same, you know, and so then in that way, it's, you know, I think it's, like, leveling.

[Lake Bell]

Right. Like, I don't feel. Yeah. I feel like, you know, we have a lot of language for it now, and Categories and all these things. But I think all of us kind of walk through our life and our existence with some. Some thread of neuro Neurological uniqueness, you know, And I just try to explain that to my kids. Cause I feel that. But I also, you know, I think that some are more extreme than others, where it gets in the way of you walking through normal social and cultural function. I understand that. And then other times it's like, that's your superpower. And so we just, you know, Nova's epilepsy has been totally kind of her origin story, her superpower, you know? Cause it's. She is sparkly, she is magic. She does have electrical charges in her brain that make her particularly a profound poet and writer and creative thinker and drawer. I mean, it's special, you know, and it's funny because she has such a complex, sensitive brain that's, you know, in the caverns of neuroses and anxiety. And then her best friend is autistic who is like. Like, they are perfectly matched because her best friend is totally mom plussed because she's like, I don't like that spaghetti, you know, And I was like, oh, my God, you know, like, do you want another one? Is that okay? She was like, no, I just don't want it. And you know, it's like the most wonderful yin and yang. And I'm like, this is where neurodiversity is like, truly remarkable. And they are two peas in a pod because they can complement each other.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Right. I want to talk about the chair company, but before we pivot, I just. I love what an incredible reframer you are. I don't know if that's like just natural to you or therapy or all the things or whatever, but it's just. I feel like just even sitting here in this conversation, it's. It's both magical and meaningful.

[Lake Bell]

Thank you. I appreciate that. I like the reframe. I do work hard. I think it's like, as we spoke in the beginning, the optimism. Right. It's like trying to not be sort of unrealistic, but also being like, all right, well, how can we. How can we frame that?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Well, I think it. I mean, it's interesting. I think it is that it's not accepting the status quo.

[Lake Bell]

Right. You know, it's an act, like the protest.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It could be better. Yeah, but it could be better. It doesn't. Just. Just because this is how people have always talked about something doesn't mean it has to be how we always talk about it. Moving forward.

[Lake Bell]

Totally. And I Think as an artist. You are constantly thinking, just even thinking about, who am I gonna be with? How am I going to take on this next chapter of life? What does that person have to look like? What kind of. What do I need? What's the list of things that becomes also within a structure and within a system? And I'm like, oh, no, reframe, reframe. You don't know what it looks like, you know, and being comfortable in a little bit of ambiguity, because I definitely like control. Yeah, Yeah, I like it, but.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah, me too. Okay, tell me what you were loving about the Chair Company. The Chair Company.

[Lake Bell]

Obviously, the show is the brainchild, the love child of Tim Robinson and Zach Cannon, who were just nominated for a WGA Award. I'm giving them mad props because they deserve it. Yeah, they wrote a real subversive tour de force. It is.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

It's a dark comedy.

[Lake Bell]

It is a dark comedy, and it is very. It's funny. It's like, I've done so much comedy in my life, and usually there's this,

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

like,

[Lake Bell]

sense of music to it that, you know, you understand the rhythm. You know, where we're going, you want to. You want to bring it back. And then you get to the chorus again. You know, it's like there's this sense of, like, knowing where it's going a little bit. Like, I know the game we're playing. I would sometimes call it games. You're like, oh, there's like an improv kind of within a scene. You're like, I know the game we're playing. Okay, this is funny, you know, and then we play that game and whatever, so. And then the scene is done. But this is the first time I am privy to and playing in a totally different rhythm. So there. It's almost like scat. Like jazzy, you know, because it's not linear, and the comedic threads are wilding out, you know, it's just totally wonderful and strange and, like, surprise. It constantly is surprising. It's surprising to me. I'm in it, and I'm like, I cannot believe that just happened. And Tim Robinson is his own sort of wonderful tornado of comedic uniqueness, you know, and it really. It feels really special. I really love being a part of it. I like being just kind of like a seasoning in the soup of it, you know, which is fun for me as a writer, director, and actor, to be able to not, you know, to show up as the actor and to serve and to be participatory in someone else's vision.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Do you have to shut off the director part of your brain or writer part of your brain, so that it's not like, you know, we did this. We said it this way.

[Lake Bell]

Well, that's the benefit of being on this particular project because it is wholly unique. So it's not something that I would normally write or. Or do. So I'm like, oh, I'm peeking in at someone else's brain.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay.

[Lake Bell]

Sometimes there are projects where I'm on and I'm like, you know, it's harder for me to turn my director brain off. But this is great. I feel like I show up. I have such trust in the creative team that I can just. I can flow and I can. And I can be led a little bit, you know, And I'm like, ooh, that's great. I mean, that's how you learn. That's how I learned to be a director, was to be on other people's sets and how they function, you know? And then you kind of sponge up all this information, and I'm like, oh, interesting. But I always. When I'm. When I'm on set, especially this one, for instance, the dp, Ashley is just. She's just like a tour de flour. She's just amazing. So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna put her in my Rolodex, you know, for my future. Yeah.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, that's great. It's exciting. I'm looking forward to watching it.

[Lake Bell]

It's wild. It's a nervous comedy. It is paranoid. It's playing into something that I think we all have a little bit, which is this couldn't be the way. Is this really, like, our government systems? You know, it's like there's a little bit of, like, there's gotta be something behind the scenes. What's really going on. Right. It's playing into that a little bit, like this zeitgeist of feeling that there must be something else. Right on. Yeah. Like, what's. What's the real. You know, and so it's a very regular guy who's getting thrusted into. He's got a regular family, you know, and a regular job, and he's just thrusting himself into a conspiracy, which is pretty terrific.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Okay. I'm now even more intrigued. I can't wait.

[Lake Bell]

It's. You're good. You'll. You'll have fun.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So the last question I ask everybody is if you are currently working on reclaiming anything, and that can be like a hobby, an emotion, a thing, a location, could be anything.

[Lake Bell]

So I dedicated my life to the arts and to my job. And I think in these past couple of years, I have reclaimed my own literary education. Oh. Because I went to a conservatory for dramatic arts. So even though I grew up as a brain that really created. Craved intellectual stimulation and academic stimulation, I really lend into my craft. And I didn't get to read classics. I wanted to have a kind of English lit kind of moment in my life and even, like anthropology and philosophy, you know. And so I am reclaiming a lot of that kind of education. That educational kind of itch scratching, as it were.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

No, no, but I get that. You know, just this sort of what you lost and missed out on, having gone a different direction. Yeah, I love that. That's a good one.

[Lake Bell]

So I'm reading books that I.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

We haven't had that one yet.

[Lake Bell]

Really? Yeah. I've given myself, like, little itineraries, but, you know, without too much force. But. Oh. It's almost like a book. Like Lake's Book Club for Lake. You know, like with Lake and Lake. So just trying to really ingest and pour over beautiful literary novel, but novels. But also. Yeah. Just trying to kind of lean into concepts and things that I might have gotten if I went to sort of a liberal arts, Ivy League school, which I did not.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Thank you so much.

[Lake Bell]

Thank you for having me.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Chandler Garcia]

So.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

So lovely.

[Lake Bell]

Good hang.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Oh, yeah, I know. That's somebody else's show.

[Lake Bell]

What?

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

That's somebody else's show. That's Amy Poehler's show.

[Lake Bell]

Is a good hang. Well, this was lovely. This was a reclaimed delight.

[Host (possibly a female interviewer)]

Exactly.