Podcast Summary: Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky

Episode: Michael Urie
Date: January 13, 2026
Host: Monica Lewinsky
Guest: Michael Urie

Episode Overview

In this lively and heartfelt episode, Monica Lewinsky sits down with actor Michael Urie for an expansive conversation about career turning points, authenticity, reclaiming identity, queer visibility, and the nuanced experiences of being seen (and unseen) in public and private life. The discussion meanders joyfully from childhood memories and Juilliard days to industry reflections, the evolution of LGBTQ+ roles, and the ongoing journey of self-reclamation in an unpredictable profession.

Key Topics & Insights

Childhood, Family, and Early Creative Sparks

• Plano, Texas Upbringing
  • Michael shares growing up in Plano, with a seven-years-older athletic sister who helped pave the way for him as both a non-athlete and someone coming out as queer in Texas.
    • “My sister was so into sports... She’s also queer, so she sort of paved the way for me.” (03:33)
  • Supportive parents, even if sports love left them unsure:
    • “Probably harder than any of that was that I didn’t like sports because they weren’t sure what to do with me.” (03:29)
• Discovering Theater
  • Initially drawn to directing after being inspired by Tim Burton movies (Batman, Beetlejuice).
  • After shyly joining school theater (due to lack of boys for “Fiddler on the Roof”), Michael gets bitten by the theater bug.
    • “I had to be in the play. We didn’t have enough boys… and then I got a laugh—that was the thing that really made me think, OK, I’m gonna leave band, and I’m gonna do this.” (07:03)

Finding Comedy & The Power of Laughter

• Speech & Debate Triumph
  • At a poetry reading meant to be somber, Michael’s delivery unintentionally makes the audience laugh—but he leans in, wins the state competition, and realizes comedy could be his path.
    • “That’s when I was, like, OK, I’m not gonna be a teacher anymore… I’m gonna go up on stages and get laughs.” (07:47, 08:20)

Academic Challenges and Defining Decisions

• Navigating College Admissions
  • Fails the SAT, excels at the ACT, and experiences rejection and acceptance from colleges within weeks—leading to a key life lesson on decision-making and creative problem-solving.
    • “It’s a pickle until it isn’t… then suddenly it becomes clear.” (12:23)
  • Monica and Michael reflect on whether having clarity and conviction in decisions is a gift.
    • Monica: “That’s a real gift… to make a decision and commit to it.” (12:50)

Juilliard and the Actor’s Journey

• Entry and Mythology
  • Encouraged by a community college teacher, Michael auditions and visits Juilliard on a drama field trip. He reflects on the lore and the allure of the school.
    • “It seemed like, well, if you get into Juilliard, you’re set forever. And that isn’t true.” (19:46)
  • Monica compares the myths around Ivy League/Ivy acting schools and how the realities are more complicated in subjective fields like show business. (20:22)
• Training, Confidence, and Stigma
  • Juilliard brought confidence but also the stigma of being perceived as “too Juilliard.”
    • “A lot of people talk about how Juilliard actors need a few years in the real world before they lost ‘that thing’... I remember auditioning for somebody, and them saying, ‘You wear it well.’” (30:17, 30:45)

Hollywood, Representation, and “Ugly Betty”

• The Changing Landscape of Fame

  • Fewer movie stars today, audiences are fragmented; shows streaming on platforms like Apple TV can be invisible to huge swathes of the public.
    • “Millions and millions of people can be into something and yet I might have no idea what that is.” (23:43)
  • The days when a broad awareness of a single show connected the culture are largely gone. (24:38)

• Origin of Marc St. James

  • Michael was told his part on Ugly Betty would just be a temporary, one-off assistant to Vanessa Williams’ character.
    • “I knew I had nothing to lose... I just studied her on set without her knowing… moved like her, talked like her…” (27:10)
    • Quote: “She came over to me and she’s like, ‘Hey, I hear you’re doing me behind me.’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m sorry, I thought it would be funny.’ And she’s like, ‘It is. What else can I do that you can do?’” (28:45 — Michael Urie recounting Vanessa Williams’ response)

• Reclaiming Stereotypes and Pigeonholing

  • Monica and Michael discuss evolving attitudes around LGBTQ+ representation, stereotypes, and actor “types.”
    • Michael: “I was told that a few times—‘all right, this is the last [gay character].’ Which would have been totally impossible… if I had stopped playing gay… there’s so many kinds of queer people.” (57:03–61:09)
    • “Queer people aren’t a monolith—I think that’s like any group, you know.” – Monica Lewinsky (61:09)

Navigating Fame, Visibility, and Privacy

• Being Recognizable and “Going Backstage”

  • Monica shares anxieties over industry etiquette—going backstage after shows, being recognized, or misunderstood.
  • Michael reassures: “As a Broadway actor, I absolve you of feeling that way… if you didn’t come back, it’s not an insult. People just want to live their lives.” (43:09)

• Acceptance of Public Life

  • Monica reflects on finally accepting public life after years of trying to shrink from visibility.
    • “There came a point where there was no other option... every time in the last almost 30 years that I’ve gotten small and thought, ‘Okay, I’m gonna have this small life’—it doesn’t work out. So here I am.” (54:44)

The Power and Responsibility of the Arts

• Evolving Media and Influence
  • Michael shares how the arts can—and should—prepare society for what’s possible, not just reflect or lag behind.
    • “There is so much trauma in the queer community… but also, we can show the world the way it can be.” (64:41)
  • Single All the Way: Michael cites his Netflix holiday romcom as a homophobia-free feel-good movie:
    • “I play this guy who’s unlucky in love and ends up falling for his best friend… it’s a homophobia-free film.” (64:03)
  • On representation in theater: “It’s not like we’re trying to recruit more queer people for the theater. There’s plenty of us. But… it’s been dominated by white men. And so another part of doing the [Pride Plays] festival is to find and nurture these other voices.” (66:08)

Reclaiming Energy, Self & The Next Chapter

• What Michael is Reclaiming
  • After a whirlwind stretch of TV and theater roles, Michael voices his intention to reclaim rest, time, and a sense of self apart from roles/work.
    • “I really want to reclaim, like, and find out what I’m like when I’m not working. And that’s a luxury… I think that I need to be kinder to my body and let it rest and figure out who I am again.” (69:22)
    • “I’m gonna reclaim myself, I think. Reclaim Michael. Not Michael as Richard II… Not Mikey either. Although maybe I’ll be Mikey. Maybe I’ll stand on my stool and be Mikey.” (70:55)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On following bold impulses:
  • “I knew I had nothing to lose… . I was doing [Vanessa Williams] behind her and someone told her… she’s like, ‘It is. What else can I do that you can do?’” (28:45 — Michael Urie)
• On reclaiming identity as an out actor:
  • “Anytime I’d hear someone say [stop playing gay characters], I’d think, oh, you don’t get it… There are so many different ways that I can go within my sexual orientation that are not that guy that I played first.” (61:09)
• On LGBTQ+ representation in media:
  • “There is so much trauma in the queer community… but also, we can show the world the way it can be.” (64:41)
• On cyclical life decisions:
  • Monica: “Every time… I’ve gotten small… it doesn’t work out. So here I am.” (54:44)
• On the relief and responsibility of true visibility:
  • Monica: “I feel like… I’m just not supposed to have a small life. And that’s a very weird thing when you didn’t set out to have a big life like that.” (54:44–55:07)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:33 — Michael on growing up with a queer sister and family support
• 07:03–08:20 — “Bitten by the bug,” winning laughs, path to acting
• 12:23–13:14 — Making big decisions: “It’s a pickle until it isn’t”
• 19:45–20:07 — Juilliard’s allure; myth vs reality
• 27:10–28:51 — Michael’s Marc St. James origin story (& Vanessa Williams anecdote)
• 54:44–55:07 — Monica on accepting big life and public figurehood
• 57:01–61:09 — Michael on being told not to “play gay”; rejecting creative pigeonholes
• 64:02–64:41 — “Single All the Way” as a homophobia-free romcom
• 69:22–70:55 — What Michael is working on reclaiming: time, rest, self

Tone & Final Thoughts

Warm, candid, humorous, and self-reflective, this conversation weaves together anecdotes, industry insight, and personal philosophy around living authentically, the challenges and triumphs of queer identity in performing arts, and the courage required to reclaim one’s narrative—on stage, on screen, and in life. Both Monica and Michael affirm the value of self-compassion, embracing possibility, and honoring the winding paths that lead to self-acceptance.

“I’m gonna reclaim myself, I think. Reclaim Michael. Not Michael as Richard II… Not Mikey either. Although maybe I’ll be Mikey. Maybe I’ll stand on my stool and be Mikey.” – Michael Urie (70:55)