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Red Rocks Church. How you feel? You sound good. Can you guys make some noise at every location for the band? We love them so much. They spoil us. Can you help me? Say hi to everybody. What's up? All the Denver locations, Austin, Texas, Brussels, Belgium, men and women at all of our correctional facilities, and everybody watching from around the world online. We're so, so glad you're with us. I like to say this at the beginning because you're gonna figure it out anyways, if you're just joining us for the first time, like, we're just a bunch of messed up, imperfect people, but we love to get together like this on the weekends, just like this, and pursue a perfect God. And that's what we're doing today. And so no matter what you got going on in your life, no matter what you've been through, no matter what you're dealing with, no matter what you believe in this place, we're gonna do everything to make you feel loved and valued and welcomed and try to introduce you to Jesus because we believe he can change every single thing about your life in the here and now and heaven forever. Welcome home. Welcome to Red Rocks Church. High five, somebody. Have a seat. We're in this teaching series called Kiss the Fire. You guys been enjoying this series? If you're new, it occurred to me, literally, as I was just standing back there right now, that someone is walking in here right now, and they're seeing Kiss the Fire graphics all over the place with no context, and they're like, what's this freaky place into? Like, I've heard of the churches that are bringing out the snakes and the flags and the deals, and this place has got fire. Like, what do they do here? So I don't want to retell everything that we've talked about for the past few weeks, but let me give you the 32nd version in case you're brand new. About three years ago, me and Jill were in a doctor's appointment. Thought I had a pinched nerve in my neck, and I thought that's why it was affecting my left arm. On one of the craziest days of our life, doctor looked at me and Jill and said, sorry, you don't have a pinched nerve. You have an incurable, degenerative brain disease, and your life's about to change. And I spiraled. I got to this place where I started to want to give up on everything. And I got a phone call from one of my best friends, Coach Mark Montoya. He's a UFC coach. And I had, you know, as I Told you guys before, when I got that news, like, I spiraled and I went dark and I went off the radar, and I wouldn't talk to anybody. And he called, and I picked up his phone because he scares me. And so. And he told me. I told him about the diagnosis and how I was feeling, and I was crying and falling apart. And he said, you're not gonna quit, bro. You're gonna kiss this fire and you're gonna walk away whistling. And I said, coach, that sounds awesome. What's that mean? And I'll tell you again. He said, I'm not saying it won't be hot. And I'm not saying there won't be hard days. Not saying it's not gonna burn from time to time. But I'm telling you, Sean, he said, you're not gonna run from this. This isn't going to steal your peace. This isn't going to steal your joy. It's not going to change who God called you to be. We're going to get through this. I'm going through it with you. You're going to kiss this fire and walk away. Whistling. So that's where the title comes from. That's what we're talking about. So when you hear us say kiss the fire, what we're saying is we don't run from fires in life. We face them and we refuse to give up. And if you only get one thing from this talk, can you just. One more time, let God's word speak to you today. Galatians 6, 9. Let us not become weary in doing good. For at the proper time, we will reap a harvest. If we do not give up, at the proper time, we will reap a harvest. Ah, you weren't ready for that. That's not on you. That's on me. I didn't tell you that was coming. Let me give you a little preemptive strike. Let's do this again. At the proper time, you'll reap a harvest. If. If you don't give up, that's it. Look, I don't know what you're going through today. You might be like, why are we talking about all this, man? My life is amazing. If that's you, would you pray for the rest of us? If that's you? Just hold on to some of this for a rainy day. Because life tends to happen, right? Jesus himself said it, in this world, you'll have trouble. But then he said, don't you dare give up. Take heart. Cause I've overcome the world, so I don't Know what it is that you or somebody you love might be going through right now? Maybe it's finance stuff. Maybe it's relationship, marriage. Maybe it is a diagnosis for you or a loved one or something tragic has happened or there's been loss in your family. Maybe it's been anxiety or depression or even suicidal thoughts. Can I just be the one to remind you that your God is with you? When you can't see it, he's working. When you can't feel it, he's got a plan. Even if you don't understand it. Don't you dare give up. Because there's gonna be a day when you're gonna look back and go, thank God I didn't. I wanted to. It got real tough. Things got real hard. I wanted to throw in the towel on everything. I wanted to quit on that relationship. I wanted to quit on that dream. I wanted to walk away from God. Maybe your story is, I wanted to give up on life, but thank God I didn't. Because look what God has done. That's what I want your story to be. That's why we're doing this series. So I just. This is the last time I'll talk to you about this stuff in this series. Doug's speaking next week, and I promise you do not want to miss that. But I thought since this is my last time to get to talk to you about this particular subject matter in this series. I just had like a final few thoughts. And so my hope and prayer is, I'm just going to read God's word a few times, tell some personal stories. Not because I think you need to know everything about my life. I just. I just know that there's power in testimonies, right? Revelations 12 says there's two things that defeats the power of Satan in someone's life. It's the blood that Jesus shed when he died on the cross to pay the price for our sins and then the word of our testimony. And so I'll tell some stories. Not because I want you to know more about me. The truth is, I'm tired of talking about this stuff. But I know there's power in testimony. So my hope is, is that through God's word and through just a messed up, imperfect guy going, look, I just gone through some stuff not even close to perfect. Know what it feels like to be really broken. Know what it feels like to want to give up on God at times. Know what it feels like to want to give up on life at times. I'm just here today to testify that Our God is good, and greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world. I just want you to get that. All right? First thing, if you're taking notes, and we all know note takers, get to heaven first. First thought of today is, get yourself a Fight Club. Get yourself a fight Club. And I'll explain a little bit more of that here in a second. When I got this diagnosis, I, you know, I talked to a couple friends and then I turned off the world. I didn't want to talk to anybody, wouldn't take calls, wouldn't respond to texts. I wasn't trying to be difficult. I just. If you had one of those things where like, something's going on in life and you're like, I don't have the energy to talk. I don't want to tell another person the story. I don't want another person to ask how I'm doing. I don't want another well meaning person to go, God's got your brother. Because I'm like, I'm mad today. I'll fight people today. And, and, and so I did. I just. Well, all of a sudden I'm trying to throw myself a pity party and stay in complete isolation, which couldn't be further from what God tells us to do. And my doorbell rings and it's the. Some of my best friends, some of the guys that I get to lead this church with, and they show up at my house and they, they're like, we're here to pray. And they come in like, like an army of pastors would. They got anointing oil, they're going to pray. And when a pastor prays, you know, you got to be careful. You got to have time. If you're going to have pastors pray with you, you right, because pastor's got like four verses they're going to quote in each prayer and all the deals. They come in and they do the pastoral thing and they lock arms with me and we cry together. We pray. And they did anoint me with oil. And we pray for supernatural healing. And I was so grateful. And then they left. Then I was like, finally, I can have a pity party for myself. Now go back to being mad at God. My doorbell rings again. It's my small group. I'm in a small group with seven other guys. It's called Fight Club. And these guys aren't pastors. They're saved, most of them. All right? No, they're also. They're saved. They love Jesus, but they're not. They don't work at churches, they're like. Like, one owns a UFC gym. One owns a construction company. That guy does finance. He owns a mountain bike shop. Like, couldn't be all more all over the map. But they come in and they're like, well, we're here to pray. No anointing oil, no quoting verses when they prayed, in fact. But it couldn't have been more authentic and more heartfelt. In fact, there were some cuss words in those prayers. And at one point, one of the guys. And it was just. They were just speaking to God from their heart, not trying to be irreverent. They're just speaking to God from their heart on my behalf. And one of the guys got real passionate in the middle of his prayer, and he's like, God, I just pray you help him get through this. Beep. And I'm sitting there praying, and I had to, like, laugh and cry at the same time. I was like, man, I love this. I love these guys. We sat in the living room and we cried together, and we started laughing together. And then one of the guys we call Sage, because he's for sure the smartest dude on the planet, he's like, hey, I've been researching degenerative brain diseases this afternoon. I'm like, bro, you've heard about this, like, an hour ago. How have you? He's like, I've heard that boxing was really good for what your doctor said. You have? And sure enough, I talked to my doctor at the Mayo Clinic sometime later about it, and they were like, your friend's exactly right. They think that, you know, they say there's. For what I have. They called it Parkinson's disease. Then they called it Parkinson's. Plus. They're trying to figure out if that's all it is. But he said, yeah, he said, there's no cure, and barring a miracle, yeah, life's gonna change. But he said, one of the only things that we can find that we feel like could at least slow it down a little bit is boxing, because I guess it's. Your body gets physically exhausted, but your brain has to work really hard at the same time. It's not like running in a straight line and being tired, right? And your brain can kind of drift, but in boxing, you're physically exhausted, but then you also have to, like, you know, footwork and defense and combinations. And, like, your brain has to think. And they said, it's like while you're doing it, you're saying to your brain, you don't get to degenerate. Today we got Too much to do, right? And so. So Sage is telling us that night in my living room about boxing. And then I'm sitting on the couch next to Coach Mark, and Mark goes, well, I happen to know a guy with a boxing gym. He's the busiest dude in the world, my friend. Like, he fights every weekend and all over the world. And, you know, he's the kind of guy that like. Like musicians will come in to play at Red Rocks Amphitheater in Denver, and they'll text him and be like, can I train with you? And he's like, sorry, bro, I don't have time. Like, dude has no time. Speaking of which. November 4th, Red Rocks Church. Red Rocks Amphitheater. Tanya, we got tickets left. We've got. What do you think, 1500? You think left? Maybe 1000 to 1500 left out of the 9000 seats. Hey, you better get a ticket quick because you do not Want to miss November 4th at Red Rocks Amphitheater. We're going to celebrate what God has done for the last 20 years. We're going to record a new album. It's going to be crazy. Back to the story. So Mark gets out his phone and he just starts going through it and he's like, Wednesdays at 3:30, he doesn't ask me my schedule. He doesn't care. Wednesdays at 3:30. From now on, you'll be boxing with me. And he doesn't let me pay him, and he doesn't have time to do it. And if I'm not injured, which happens more than I'd like to admit, but if I'm not injured, 3:30 on Wednesdays, I'm in the octagon with Coach Mark, whether I want to be or not. And then he makes me sit in the sauna with him afterwards because he also thinks that's going to be good for me. I got these, like, armies of men fighting for me, fighting with me. Twice a month I get together with this small group, and every single time it's the same. We might be going through a different book or doing whatever, but every single time it's the same. How's your mental health? Don't play games with us. Tell us the truth. How's your physical health? What's the doctor saying? How's your marriage? How are you in Jill? How are the boys? They'll play games. Tell us the truth. How can we pray for you twice a month? I do that with seven other men. And I'm telling you, if it weren't for the people in my life, I don't think I'm still doing this right now. And so I just want to say in front of this whole church, first off, thank you to my wife, Babe. You're amazing. Thank you to my three boys, my friends here at the church. So many of you have been so kind to our family and so good to us and the guys in my small group. I just. I want that for you. You deserve that. You deserve that. When you go through something really tough, that you got some people who come over to your house uninvited who say, no, I just heard you fell, and I'm here to pick you up. You don't have to invite me over. This what we do. And then next month, when I fall, you come over to my house uninvited and you pick me up, because that's what we do. That's what you deserve. And you want to talk about not giving up, Facing some really hard fires in life, one of the best things you can do, and we said this a couple weeks ago, is make sure that you got the right people fighting with you. And I just wanted to say it one more time because it's so important. I wanted to say it one more time this week. Don't fight through this stuff alone. Whatever you're going through, we need to chase down the plans God has for us with his people. That's the plan. Get yourself a fight club. If this is your church, get in a group. Get on a team, man. Let's do this thing. Let's not mess around. Galatians 6. 2. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. About a month ago, we did, like, two or three weeks in a row where we invited a bunch of people down front to pray after each service. And almost every single person or couple I prayed with, I said, are you in a group? And they went. I said, you know you need that, right? And they went, mm. There's too many of us that are fighting too many battles on our own. Get yourself a fight club. I'm telling you, it'll change the game. Number two, decide to crack back. That's a good one, isn't it? You're like, what is this dude talking about? Coach Mark has this. Uses this term crack back when. When we're. When we're training. And I told him yesterday, I said, hey, I'm gonna talk about crack back in church. And so he texted me the definition. He said, we'll get it right. So here's the definition. To crack back means to immediately Return fire after being hit or pressured. A fast, decisive counter designed to reclaim rhythm, score points, and mentally reset the exchange in your favor. Now start thinking about us and the enemy of our soul, the one who wants to steal, kill, and destroy every single good thing that God wants to do in our life. When an opponent lands, you don't freeze or retreat. You crack back to reestablish dominance in the exchange. It tells them you don't get to build momentum here. I don't want us to go through this whole series and get the impression that when Satan comes after us or our family tries to whisper lies in our ear, tries to get us to give up on our calling, give up on a person, give up on God, give up on life. I don't want you to get this impression that all we do is hold on for dear life and then wait for God to miraculously give us a testimony. No, we also go on the offense. Church. When Jesus was telling his best friends about what we would be, the church, he said, the church will be so powerfully offensive that the gates of hell can't stand. Stop it. Gates don't move, but churches do. We go on the offense. We go on the offense at our work, in our school, in our neighborhood, with our family. That's why we go share our faith. That's why we go love and serve people in the name of Jesus. But Jesus said, hey, make no mistake about it, that same spirit that's about to get me out of the grave, God says, that same spirit's gonna be in you. And Jesus said, you are going to be the church, and the gates of hell can't stop you. You don't have to just take it from Satan. You. You could turn around and crack back. You could turn around and say, I'm gonna take what you tried to hurt me with and I'm gonna make you pay for it. When we're boxing, Coach tells me, he says, see, your opponent doesn't get to throw anything at you without paying a price, right? So he says, let's say I throw a jab at you, right? So that. That's a one. So he'll throw a jab. And he. And we've been learning some stuff. In fact, I almost. I almost asked him to come up here today and let's put the gloves on. But I was like, we don't have time, and I look like an idiot probably anyways, but. But, like, he'll throw a jab and I'll be, oh, I can L step and a check hook. But sometimes I like to be a little bit more aggressive with my crack back. And that's because coach is kind of crazy and he's trying to make me crazy, see? And so he'll go, he'll throw a jab, he'll throw a one, and a good crack back is a sidestep. Boom, throw the one. I'm not gonna back up. I'm not just gonna take it. I'm not gonna get off balance now. I'm a side step right on the button. Don't mess with your pastor. I'm telling you people, because if I can't take you, Mark can, all right? And I probably can't. Let's be honest. My point is that's not just boxing terminology. That's us in life and spiritual warfare terminology. Genesis 50:20 says this. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. See, we can take our story, we can take our testimony, and we can decide not to waste that pain. And we can crack back with it. We can go find somebody who's hurting in the way we've hurt, who's dealing with pain in a way we felt pain. And we could go, look, I'm not perfect, not even close. But I know what divorce feels like. I know what tragedy feels like. I know what the loss of a loved one feels like. I know what a scary diagnosis feels like. I know what suicidal thoughts feel like. And I'm not just going to take it. I'm going to turn this stuff back on Satan. I'm going to go find somebody and help them in the name of Jesus and go build God's kingdom with the very thing Satan thought he'd take me out with. Paul shows us what this looks like. 2nd Corinthians 13:4. He says this. Praise be to the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Here it is, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. That's a crackback. I can go through some tough things. I can decide. I'm not going to quit. God will get me through it. Then I can turn around and go help somebody else get through it in the name of Jesus. And then he shows us what it looks like just like four verses later. Watch what he does. He's not going to waste pain. He's going to share what he's been through, take what Satan tried to use to take him out with and use it to build God's kingdom. Watch. He says this. He says, hey, I don't want you to be uninformed. Brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure far beyond our ability to endure so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt like we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves, but on God, because he raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. Paul says, hey, guys, I know you're struggling, and I know sometimes, like, you think, like, I'm the apostle Paul, I'm so godly, nothing affects me. And he goes, guys, it couldn't be farther from the truth. I felt so much pressure sometimes. I have felt overwhelmed so many times. In this one case in particular, I didn't even know if I wanted to live anymore. See what he's telling him, guys, I know what it feels like to not want to be alive because things are going that bad in life. And he said, but listen, I'm telling you what I learned is when I stop relying on my own strength and I start relying on his strength, that he can get me through things I could never get through on my own, because when I'm at my weakest, he's at his strongest. And so he got me through it, and he'll get me through it again. And I don't know what you're going through, but Paul says, he'll get you through it. That's the crack back. Satan tried to take him out with some suicidal thoughts and some overwhelming pressure. And Paul went, I'll take what Satan tried to take me out with, and I'll go cut his head off with. Reminds me of the story of David and Goliath. You guys know that story. Even if you weren't in church, you probably heard that one. All right, I'm asking for some feedback, so I'm going to give you. You know it's coming. What's the weapon that David used in that story? Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Everybody said it. Rock, rock, slingshot. Sing. There's another weapon, though, in that story, and if you read, you just got to keep reading just a little bit. He knocks him down with the slingshot. That's it right there. He knocks him down with the slingshot. And then he goes over. Goliath had this gigantic sword with him. He reaches down, grabs the sword. He takes the very thing that the enemy was trying to take him out with, and he cuts his head off with it. That's what we do when we share our testimony. That's what we do when we decide to take our pain and use it to point people to Jesus. And please, you know, like I said, I'm gonna share some stories today, but it's not. It's not. Check me out. I promise you that this is check God out. But I had a really cool, awesome, awful moment not too long ago. We decided that, you know, when you go through tough things, it doesn't just affect you, it affects your whole family. And so we flew Ryan, who helped me write the book, we flew Ryan to town and. And he interviewed my family, my wife and my three boys about the diagnosis and what did it do to their faith. And I was scared to death to do this interview, to be honest, because one of my biggest fears was, I don't want what I'm going through to affect my boy's faith. I don't want to be the reason they get mad at God. They'll have plenty of reasons on their own. I don't want to be the reason that they doubt God. I don't want them to be the reason, Right? So that's been a real concern for me. And so Ryan's interviewing them, and they're going around the table, and he asked some hard questions, like, what'd you think? You know, and it was crazy because, like, it was, you know, three years ago, and Ashton was, like. I think he was, like, 12 or 13. It was a little. I don't know exactly how long ago it was. I'm horrible at the time. But we saw his phone the next morning after we told the boys, and, like, he had. The last thing he had Googled was, like, what is Parkinson's disease? We were struggling watching our boys struggle with this stuff. So the boys are at the table, and Ryan goes, what did it do to your faith? What did it do to your faith? And they were all very honest. And they talked about having moments with God where they were very mad at God. And they were like, why, God? Why would you let this happen? Why would our dad have this? Why haven't you healed him yet? And then my son Ashton said something that took me by surprise. And it was getting kind of emotional, intense, you know? Cause, like, this is a sermon series that we're doing, but, like, this is my family's reality right now. And Ashton looked at Ryan, and he goes, I used to be really mad at God, and I used to. To really think, like, why would you let my dad have this. Why haven't you taken it from him? And then he goes. But now he goes, I think, I can't think of a better person for God to let have this right now. And then he looked at me and goes, sorry, dad. No offense. And I'm like, yeah, you better have something good to say after that, because I can't think of anyone better to have this. And then he goes. And then he just looks at Ryan and he goes. Cause my dad will just use it to tell people about Jesus. It's not a check me out, I promise. But I had this moment. I've always wanted to be a dad ever since I was a little kid. I never knew my dad. I've always wanted to be a dad. But I sat there in that moment, you know, and I was like, God, this. I don't like this diagnosis. I don't like this position that we're in right now. I don't like that this is our reality. But I like that my boy knows that I'll crack back on Satan every chance I get. That if you come at me, I'll use whatever you try to take me out with, and I'll use it. I'll go attach some purpose to it, and I'll go try to help somebody find Jesus through it. And that's what I want to challenge you with. Because we all go through fires. You're going through them right now, or someone you love is. And see, I used to think the things that we go through, the pain that we've experienced. I used to think, I hope God can use me in. In spite of my past hope he can use me in spite of all the pain I've went through. I hope he can use me in spite of all my mistakes, in spite of all my bad choices, in spite of all my regrets, in spite of my brokenness. And what I've learned is, over time, God doesn't use us and give us purpose and a calling in spite of our brokenness. He uses us because of the way we're broken. That's what Paul was saying. What has God comforted you through? What's the way you were broken? Now? You're the best person in the world to go help somebody with that kind of brokenness. I was talking to a friend a while back, and he's a fireman, and he had a really hard time and tried to take his own life. And the crazy thing is, on the outside, everything looks amazing. Great wife, great kids, great life, great job, everything. He just looks. But in here and in Here, you know, we know that game. We can look really good on the outside and be really struggling on the inside. And I'm talking to him, and he's telling me about trying to take his own life. And he's crying and crying. And then he said, and the worst part is, he said, I only have five years left as a firefighter before I can just get the pension for the rest of my life. And he said, I've been taking counseling classes because I thought I wanted to become a counselor, but to help first responders and people who deal with anxiety and depression. And then he just started weeping. And he said, what kind of counselor am I going to be? I just tried to take my own life. I said, bro, you're going to be the best kind of counselor. Because someday someone's going to sit across from you and they're going to tell you that they have had those thoughts. And you're not going to talk to them. In theory. You're not going to talk to them about something you read in a book. You're going to be able to say, I've been there, but God got me through it. And God could get you through it. You're gonna be the best kind of counselor. So what have you been through? Abuse, broken family, broken marriage, tragedy, loss, anxiety, depression, whatever. What's your past? And what if you went and found one person that knows that struggle and you did what Paul did and you just said, no, I don't waste pain. So, see, you're dealing with this addiction. Well, I know what it feels like to deal with addiction. So let's talk, because God got me through it. He can get you through it. Here's a prayer. Would you guys put that prayer up? Would you take a screenshot of this? I'm gonna get out of the way because I don't want to be in your screenshot. God, show me one person I can help because of what I've been through and give me the courage to do it. See, what we do is we make lists in our mind of all the reasons why God can't use us. Because I've been through that, and I've been through that, and I made that mistake and I dealt with that. And what you find out over time is those aren't lists of reasons why God can't use you. That becomes a resume of all the reasons how he can use you. So what if this week you went, I'm not gonna waste the pain I've experienced. I'm gonna go find one person. I'm Going on the offensive. I'm gonna go find one person who's hurting in a way I have hurt and go encourage them. In the name of Jesus. We're gonna make Satan pay for trying to take me out. Let's crack back church. Number two, I saw one person start to clap and you go for it, even if it's just you. Nah, the rest of you did nothing. You don't get to be a part of that. Number one, get yourself a fight club. Number two, decide to crack back. Number three, remember you're not just fighting for you. When we go through really hard things, depending on the severity of it, oftentimes all of our thoughts and emotions get real self centered. Not because we're trying to be selfish, because we're just trying to survive. In 2019 when I was in a had checked myself into a seven week anti anxiety treatment center and as a pastor of a large church started having panic attacks and dealing with suicidal thoughts, I thought I'm the worst pastor on the planet. I'm so embarrassed. I felt so much shame. I didn't think I could come back. I was a wreck. But what I thought when I was there was like, I'm just, I'm just fighting for my life. I'm holding like I would worship and I would pray and I would beg God to help me. And every single prayer was me, me, get me. And I get it because we go through things and they're really hard. And all I could see was that I'm fighting for me, for my life to get through this situation. I didn't realize he was doing more that my fight wasn't just for me, it was also for someone else. And you got to know that your fight isn't just for you, it's also for someone else. Somebody needs to see you fight. I was sitting in my truck in my driveway this summer and I had taken a few weeks off work and so I didn't. If I take like two weeks off work and I do it every summer, I don't even remember what day it is. You ever get like that you get on vacation? Like is this Tuesday? I don't even know what day. So I'm sitting in my truck. But I had an idea for a chapter in the book and so I was on my phone typing in the chapter ironically was you're gonna be so glad you didn't give up long title. I know. So I'm not proud of that. So I'm typing and Ethan and Austin, my two older boys, come walking out of the Garage into the driveway, and they're both getting in two different cars. So I just roll my window down. I'm like, boys, where you going? They're like, duh, Church Saturday. Oh, that's right. And Ethan had just started working with the youth group here at the Littleton campus. And Austin was home from his first year of college, or second year of college, I can't remember. And he was interning at the Park Meadows campus with the youth group. And I felt like God dropped this thought in my head, and it's why I ended up calling the chapter of the book what I did. The thought he dropped in my head was, aren't you glad you didn't give up? And then I had this, like, circle of thoughts. And it hit me all of a sudden, if my boy's story was, yeah, our dad used to be a pastor, but six years ago, he started having all these panic attacks. He stopped believing in God. He stopped going to church. He took his life, whatever. That's what I wanted to do in the moment. If that's their story, this is thoughts I was having. If that's their story, I don't know. And I'm sitting in my truck this many years later, and they're both going to church. And I thought, if that's their story, I don't know what these two are doing on a Saturday night in Littleton, Colorado, but it's probably not going to Red Rocks church to tell people about Jesus on a Saturday. And God was like, aren't you glad you didn't give up? I'm just fighting for you. Jesus said something to his disciples, talking about an entirely different subject. But I read this verse this week, and that's what I thought of. Jesus replied, you don't understand now what I'm doing, but someday you will. That's what I felt as I was sitting in my driveway six years earlier, fighting for my life with anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts. I just thought I was fighting for me. And then I look back this many years later, and I realize I was fighting for them as well. And I have now, you know, and so a bunch of you guys have. Have asked recently, and thank you for. For asking and for caring, but a bunch of you have asked recently, like, well, hey, in this series, you keep telling us about the diagnosis three years ago. How are you doing? And sorry, I don't think to update you on stuff like that. So it just didn't even occur to me that, like, I should tell you I'm. I'm in it. And we're good. Taking. Taking medicine four times a day right now and go to Mayo Clinic multiple times a year. And when I'm not hurt, I'm boxing and I'm believing for a miracle. And if this is your church. Listen, listen, here's. I don't. I just want to make sure. Because we have talked about my diagnosis in this series. I don't want you to worry about this church and I don't want you to worry about me. This is God's church and I'm a king's kid. I'm an heir to the throne. I'm going to heaven for all of eternity one day. And until I get there, I'm going to keep praying for a miracle. But I've just decided, and this is what I want to, like, I want to just get it out of my heart to you. I've decided, yeah, I'm in a fight and I don't like the fight I'm in. I. I don't. This wouldn't have been what I would have chosen, but I just know that there's some people watching. Like I think about my boys. I just know there's some people watching. And I've decided what's going to help me hold on in the middle of this fight and not give up is I will show my boys. No matter what happens, I will show my boys that you could go through some hard things and you can keep trusting God through it. You can keep worshiping God through it. You don't have to walk away. Somebody needs to see your fight. And it might be your children. It might be your future children. It might be people you don't even know yet. Somebody's watching you and they need to see that there's still some people out there that go, I don't just trust Jesus on the good days. I got a fighter spirit in me. I wasn't given a spirit of fear. I was given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. And I truly believe no weapon formed against me will prosper. And greater is he that is in me than anything Satan can throw at me. So I'll stand up in the middle of some stuff and say, yeah, I'm riding with God no matter what happens. Because this is my last time to get to, to talk to you in this series. I thought, I know how. I know what I want to say. This is the right before this was about to be released, the publisher emailed and said, hey, you need a dedication page page. You need to write a dedication, dedicate the book to Someone and I knew exactly. And so I want to read you the dedication and then I want to want to challenge you with the same thing. Kiss the fire. To my three boys, Ethan, Austin and Ashton. This book is for you. Getting to be your dad is one of the best parts of my life. I don't know what this world will throw at you, but what I do know is the power of God is enough to get you through it no matter what. Don't stop trusting God. Don't stop supporting, loving and fighting for each other and for Mom. And don't you ever give up. Chase down the passions and callings God has put in your heart and don't let anyone or anything stop you. You, your God can and will do more in your life than you could ever ask, think or imagine. Keep believing, keep going. And remember, I'm always in your corner, cheering and fighting for you. Love you. Red Rocks Church. I don't know what this world's going to throw at you, but I know that the power of God can get you through it. No matter what it is. Don't you dare give up. You keep fighting, you keep believing. And I promise you, according to God's word, there will be a day when you will turn back and say, thank God I didn't give up. Cuz look what God has done. And I got a testimony and now I'm going to change the world with that testimony. Would you stand up with me? God, I thank you that you're with us. I thank you that you're working. I thank you that you have a plan. Even when we don't see it and feel it and understand it, we know that your word supersedes our feelings. So God, I pray for people right now who are struggling, who are going through some things, who have loved ones that are going through some things. And I pray that as we begin to declare in this next song that no matter what the fire is, that you are with us right in the middle of it. I pray that weights would start to come off our shoulders. I pray that we would start to literally feel light and peace and faith as we're reminded that you're with us in every single fire. That this is not the end of our story and that we're going to walk out of this thing with everyone's eyes closed. I want to ask two questions, let you respond to what God might be doing in your mind or heart life today. First one. Is this you or someone you love? You're like man. We need the miraculous power of God to get involved in the something, because this is something we can't handle. We need him to get involved. If that's you, raise your hand. I'm just going to believe in faith with you. I'm praying with you today, whole bunch of us. Second question is this. You realize, like, maybe you didn't even see this coming, but we're talking about what's possible through God, even going through hard times. And you're going, man, I need to start that relationship with God. Like, I could feel it. Something's been happening in my heart today and. And I can't quite understand what it is. That's the creator of the universe lovingly trying to get your attention today, saying, I got a better life for you, son. I got a better life for you, daughter. I want to forgive you of your sins. I want to give you my spirit. I want you to be in heaven forever. Come home and you go, that's me today. Today I want to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins. I want his spirit. I want heaven forever. Today I say yes to Jesus. If that's you, raise your hand. I'm gonna say a prayer for you as well. Oh, praise God. Praise God. Hands all over. God, I thank you for everything that you are doing. I thank you for the fires you've already brought us through and I pray they would build our faith today. And God, I pray right now for miraculous intervention for the fires that we are facing. I pray for healing in the name of Jesus. I pray for freedom from anxiety and depression and freedom from suicide thoughts in the name of Jesus. I pray for miraculous grace and forgiveness and mending of relationships that some of us have felt like might be impossible. God, we pray for you, the God who still does miracles, to get involved. The God who's the same yesterday, today and forever to get involved. And I thank you, God, for everyone who just raised their hand and said they wanted to start a relationship with you. I. I pray that as we worship, they would sense your presence with them today in a very real and a very authentic way. Now, God, we declare the truth of your word that no matter what fire we go through, you are with us and we will not be afraid. In Jesus name and everybody said, red Rocks church, I love you. Let's worship.