Holiday Loveline 2025

Summary

Red Scare – Holiday Loveline 2025 (December 22, 2025)

Overview

In this festive, freewheeling edition of the Red Scare podcast, hosts Anna Khachiyan and Dasha Nekrasova settle in for a "Loveline"-style advice special, taking listener calls ranging from breakups, libido, dating anxieties, and holiday existentialism to the pitfalls of clip-farming and video podcasting. The duo fields questions with a blend of deadpan sarcasm, hard-won cynicism, candid personal stories, and the customary Red Scare irreverence.

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Main Themes

• The Changing Media Landscape: The challenges and resistance to “pivot to video” and content clipping in the podcast world
• Sex, Relationships, and Emotional Baggage: The messy realities of love, lust, codependency, and moving on
• Gender, Hormones, and Identity: Physical and psychological shifts in young adulthood and among trans listeners
• Habits, Self-Improvement, and Resignation: New Year’s resolutions and the paradoxes of personal growth
• Millennial Malaise and Humor: Coping with life’s disappointments and awkwardness through sly, sardonic humor

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Episode Highlights & Key Segments

Festive Tech Troubles and Podcasting Meta (00:24–04:21)

• Opening discussion about video recording difficulties, computer settings, and clip-farming ambitions
• Dasha expresses anxiety about the pressure to produce snackable content:
  “I feel like I’ll never have the stamina to be a real streamer…just to keep up with the attention economy. People want short form video content.” (02:13, Dasha)
• Anna reflects on Red Scare’s appeal:
  “Part of our cult appeal is that we’ve historically been defiant and contrarian…and haven’t, like, gone the route which everyone else did, which is pivot to video. That’ll save us in the end.” (02:39, Anna)

Q&A: Sex, Love, and Dating Struggles

How to Move on After Mind-Blowing Sex with a "Loser" (05:04–08:21)

• Caller feels she’ll never find sexual chemistry again post-breakup.
• Anna:
  “You gotta kiss some frogs before you find your prince.” (06:27)
• Dasha introduces “alpha-widowed” from the manosphere (06:33).
• Anna and Dasha warn: great sex can be a mirage, often tied to psychological dynamics and losers making up for shortcomings elsewhere.
  “Whatever you think is good sex, there’s probably better sex on the horizon—don’t sell yourself short and don’t rule it out.” (07:41, Anna)

Worried Boyfriend Still Loves His Ex (09:40–13:32)

• Caller worried new boyfriend is overly complimentary of his ex.
• Anna hypothesizes:
  “If somebody is being overly nice and deferential about their ex, it could just be that they’re compensating and trying to be polite...because they don’t want to trash their ex to their new girlfriend or boyfriend.” (11:02, Anna)
• Ultimately both caution that details matter; intuition is key.

Trans Caller, Hormones, and Lost Libido (13:47–19:41)

• 24-year-old discusses loss of sex drive after 5 years on estrogen.
• Anna:
  “Obviously, when you tamper with your God-given natural hormonal constitution, it will create horrible first, second, and third order effects…the known side effects of transitioning.” (16:01)
• The hosts, through irreverent banter, suggest practical and spiritual reframing, jests about “being a young guy who wears women’s clothing sometimes and isn’t on hormones.”
• Dasha:
  “Maybe God's taken your sex drive away to free you from the wages of sin. Silver lining.” (17:59)

The Red Scare Christmas Potpourri & Lifestyle Riffs

Weed Stories and The Mess of Modesty (20:19–23:12)

• Anna and Dasha recount edible mishaps and cannabis preferences.
• Commentary on modern women’s fashion:
  “They’ve stopped completely tailoring clothing…but sew like underpants into everything mini-skirt.” (22:38, Anna)

Married and Crushing on Teen Diving Instructor (23:26–28:30)

• Caller, 29, married, develops a crush on her 16-year-old instructor.
• Anna and Dasha gently—but pointedly—advise to leave it as a crush, predicting displaced maternal instincts or marriage ennui.
• “What are you gonna do? You can blow up your marriage…Not worth it and probably a bad idea.” (24:38, Anna & Dasha)

Friendship Boundaries and Romantic Red Flags

Boyfriend Makes Fat Jokes with a Skinnier Female Friend (28:57–34:03)

• Caller upset by her boyfriend’s Instagram banter with another woman.
• Dasha:
  “Men and women can be friends, but not with anyone thinner than your girlfriend. That’s the rules—I don’t make them.” (31:48)
• Anna:
  “There is. It’s called breaking up with him so he can go be with the girl he really wants to be with.” (30:59)
• Anecdotes about handling public, flirty social media behavior.

Substance Use & Youthful Experimentation

Should I Get Sober at 19? (34:28–38:30)

• Young caller asking if he should address his drug use now or later.
• Anna:
  “My only advice to him is that he should just hoard as much money as possible…while he has…and invest it well.” (36:33)
• Dasha:
  “19’s so young. You can…you’re going to have your whole, whole life to get sober.” (38:22)

European Gay Dating & International Malaise (39:12–44:04)

• American gay man in Estonia can’t connect locally; is jet-setting sustainable?
• Anna:
  “You have to let the data do the talking. Are you finding love connections?” (40:55)
• Dasha suggests following his attractions, but finding a “home base” may help.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

“Clip Farming” and Podcasting Angst

• “We’re clip farming.” (00:40, Dasha)
• “How are we supposed to talk really quick? That’s so annoying.” (07:09, Anna)

Dark Red Scare Humor

• “This is what getting molested by Epstein must have felt like. And then you try to re-enter normal life and it’s all over.” (03:35, Anna)
• “You’re never gonna win as a woman. See that? May as well die. You should kill—That’s my advice. You should all kill yourself.” (50:34, Anna)

New Year’s Resolutions & Running on Fumes

• Anna:
  “I would like to stop saying ‘like’ so much and literally and just like, stupid filler words and just speak directly and effectively and not be like… and literally.” (74:29)
• Dasha:
  “I’d like to get pregnant…Lock in, taper off benzos once and for all.” (73:26)

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Practical Red Scare Wisdom

On Ghosting (91:21–95:34)

• Dasha:
  “Ghosting is the correct and merciful thing to do at the outset of any…It’s humane courtship.” (91:56)
• Anna:
  “Yeah, ghosting rules…You should ghost people all the time.” (92:07)
• Both agree that lengthy explanations are unnecessary; let things die quietly.

On Being Direct and 'Low Maintenance'

• “I’m gonna stop being so, like, doing the female thing of…qualifying in an email or something where you’re being too, like, ‘if possible’ or blah, blah, just ask, like, being more direct.” (74:49, Dasha)

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Listener Calls – Quickfire Advice Highlights

• Trans Listener: Accepting effects of hormonal therapy, embrace unique identity (“God’s muse or eunuch for the kingdom of heaven”—17:34).
• Crush on Teen Instructor: Don’t blow up your life or marriage; desire likely symptomatic of other needs (25:08).
• Angry Boyfriend: Red flags outweigh financial support and sex appeal; consider moving on (88:09–90:21).
• Orphaned Libido: “May as well, right?”—keep using Grindr if that’s what you want (62:06).
• Love Language Overkill: Don’t grout his bathroom—create healthy boundaries, acts of service shouldn’t mean servitude (64:32–65:09).
• Monkey Obsession: Follow your calling—if your boyfriend doesn’t want to join your orangutan mission, go alone! (78:43).
• Will It Be Okay in the End?: “Yeah, playa. For sure…Even if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.”* (96:46)*

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Notable Timestamps

• 00:24–04:21: Podcasting logistics and philosophy
• 05:04–08:21: Moving on from sexual chemistry with the wrong guy
• 13:47–19:41: Trans listener, hormones, and lost libido
• 23:26–28:30: Married woman’s crush on her 16-year-old diving instructor
• 28:57–34:03: Boyfriend’s “thin friend” jokes—internet boundaries
• 34:28–38:30: Young caller questioning if he should get sober
• 39:12–44:04: Gay dating difficulties in the Baltic states
• 62:41–65:09: Listener does grout for prospective boyfriend—simping misfire
• 74:29–75:09: New Year’s resolutions—directness and filler words
• 91:21–95:34: The mercy of ghosting

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Episode Close

Anna and Dasha wrap up by reaffirming their faith that everything, in some sense, will eventually be okay—and if not, perhaps that’s not the end. Wishing listeners a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a touch of amor fati, they sign off in typically wry, self-aware style.

“I can't wait to, like, ghost all my friends and family for the holidays and be like, well, we determined it was okay on the podcast.” (94:42, Anna)

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Overall Tone

Irreverent, sardonic, vulnerable, and darkly comic—with sharp insights woven through flippant asides, self-deprecation, and the studied refusal to take themselves (or “the discourse”) too seriously. For Red Scare fans, it’s quintessential holiday comfort food: honest, messy, and strenuously unserious about everything except the essential.

Transcript

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

We'Re back.

[Anna]

We're back.

[Dasha]

I think that sounds good.

[Anna]

Are we recording?

[Dasha]

We're recording. Cool.

[Anna]

Exciting.

[Dasha]

We're making moves.

[Anna]

We're.

[Dasha]

We're clip farming. We're moving into the clip farming.

[Anna]

We're pivoting to video.

[Dasha]

It's so hard.

[Anna]

I mean, this is so festive.

[Dasha]

Knock on wood. Because we know what happened last time.

[Anna]

Yeah, true. Well, here's a question for you.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

How do you, like, keep the computer on? Because I think last time the computer just went dark. And then I turned off.

[Dasha]

I turned off the screen saver. Oh, okay. And then you can go in something called terminal.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Some of our coders might be familiar with this. And you can type in caffeinate.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

And that'll keep the system running. Oh, okay. Allegedly.

[Anna]

So we basically have to, like, prevent the computer from shutting down. And then the video will be. That's amazing.

[Dasha]

We'll see. I. I got a new hard drive too, because that was part of the issue.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Last time as well.

[Anna]

That's. That's fun.

[Dasha]

That's fun, right?

[Anna]

Good for you. Oh, man, we're doing so amazing. I'm like, matching your cushions. I knew I, like, felt like wearing this dress for a reason.

[Dasha]

Is it Mew Mew?

[Anna]

Yeah, it's like an old Mew mew dress from 2019. Which is the last year that Mew Mew or Prada was good and the first year that I made any money.

[Dasha]

I think it's going. I. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Anna]

What? Are you nervous?

[Dasha]

No, I'm nervous about streamers. I feel like if you can't. I'm not. I'll never be. I'll never have the stamina to be a real streamer. Well, I don't want to do one. I don't want to be a streamer. But just to keep up with the.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Attention economy. People want short form video content.

[Anna]

Yeah. That goes.

[Dasha]

And I can't give it to them.

[Anna]

But don't you think that part of our cult appeal is that we've historically been defiant and contrarian and like, out of laziness mostly, and haven't, like, gone the route which everyone else did, which is like, pivot to video.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That'll save us in the end.

[Dasha]

I think it'll be worth it in the end.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But we're doing a video for the holidays.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Dasha]

And had farm some clips.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

We also talk too slow.

[Anna]

Right. How are we supposed to talk really quick? That's so annoying.

[Dasha]

Like Camille Polya.

[Anna]

Can't you guys just put it at 1.5 speed.

[Dasha]

I think they do.

[Anna]

Yeah. Is your mic off?

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Just worried. No, it'll be fine.

[Dasha]

I'm just traumatized.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

From the technical difficulties of the past.

[Anna]

This is what getting molested by Epstein must have felt like. And then you try to re enter normal life and it's all over.

[Dasha]

Well, it sucks how getting molested gives you a personality disorder that makes you not credible.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's true.

[Dasha]

It's such a. It's such a catchy. And it's like, are you. You know, everyone's like, you're crazy.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

No one believes you.

[Anna]

Yeah. And then you have to, like, resort to increasingly insane acts to get people to pay attention to you, which diminishes your credibility.

[Dasha]

The cycle of suffering continues.

[Anna]

It sucks to be me.

[Dasha]

All right, well, should we take some questions?

[Anna]

Yeah, let's do it. I think this is fine.

[Dasha]

It's a lot to, you know, because I want to work on. I want to work on my posture, too.

[Anna]

How's my.

[Dasha]

We're back. We have a special guest. This is you, the listener. It's like you're here with your friends.

[Anna]

It's so parasocial.

[Caller]

Okay, I have a question about how to have faith that you will find somebody with whom you will have amazing, mind blowing sexual chemistry after breaking up with the person with whom you had the best sex of your life ever. I was in a relationship with a loser for two years who barely had a job and, like, was super jealous. Was really shitty. Our relationship ended with some physical fighting and abuse and lots of screaming throughout. But we had, like, the most amazing sex. And after we broke up, I went on the usual breakup bender, having sex, trying to find something that felt good, and none of it felt as amazing. And he was so hot. And I feel like I will never be attracted to anybody else ever again. And I don't know how to conquer that fear and not feel absolutely devastated and depressed every time I go on a date and am inevitably disappointed. And for the context, I guess the breakup was, like, five months ago.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Thanks.

[Anna]

Ladies. You gotta kiss some frogs before you find your prince.

[Dasha]

Yeah. In the manosphere community, we call that being alpha. Widowed.

[Anna]

What does that mean? I hear that term all the time.

[Dasha]

It's when you have. When you get a. When a real alpha male leaves you in the dust and no one else measures up. So you're like a widow.

[Anna]

Yeah. Gotcha.

[Dasha]

But you can. You can probably have. Find someone else to have sex with who's not a loser.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Dasha]

But oftentimes People cultivate sexual charisma and prowess. Huh?

[Anna]

Because they're losers.

[Dasha]

Because they're compensating and they're trying to, like, they gotta bring something to the table.

[Anna]

They are the table.

[Dasha]

They are the table.

[Anna]

Exactly. I just assumed for some reason, because this girl was Russian, that her ex boyfriend is also Russian, but she didn't specify. That's just where my mind went.

[Dasha]

He sounds like he might have been.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Criminal, abusive.

[Anna]

My only advice is, like, we women have, like, a tendency to be dickmatized. So, like, if you like a guy enough, the sex is good. And whatever you think is good sex, there's always probably better sex on the horizon. So don't sell yourself short and don't rule it out.

[Dasha]

And eventually your libido will decline, so it won't even matter.

[Anna]

And, hey, sex isn't even that important.

[Dasha]

Exactly.

[Anna]

I'm lying.

[Dasha]

It's a plus, but eventually it's not.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

In the grand scheme of things.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I guess that's not really good advice.

[Anna]

You're going to want somebody that you.

[Dasha]

Keep at it, you know, want to.

[Anna]

Grow old with together. Mm.

[Dasha]

I feel like there's a Amy Schumer bit.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

About how you don't want to marry the person who you have, like, the best sex with.

[Anna]

Why? What's her.

[Dasha]

Well, sort of all of this, like, that they'll be. You'll be more likely to have great sex with, like, a dark triad type or something.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

I don't really who's.

[Anna]

Who's figured out, like, the optimal, like, come hither gesture to get that G spot rock. Because he's a jobless piece of. Who's, like, cheating on you all over town. Needs to control you somehow. Yeah, it's pro. I mean, it's like. Sex is all in your head, by the way. Not all of it, but, like, at least 50 to 75% of it is psychological. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And you can refine this.

[Anna]

Sounds to me like she's like, just hasn't processed the end of the relationship and is, like, missing him a lot, even though he sucked.

[Dasha]

Branch out.

[Caller]

Hey, girls. I'm 32. I met a man recently through a mutual friend, and we hit it off instantly. We really like each other. But he just got out of a serious relationship about six months back and they split because he wants to be a dad and she doesn't want to be a mom. Of course, you don't want the man you're dating to talk badly about his ex, but he almost talks too highly of her. Like, that was the Only problem they ever had. And I'm afraid he's still madly in love with her. Can you guys please give me your thoughts? Thanks.

[Dasha]

Love you.

[Anna]

Thoughts. I think people don't want their significant other to talk badly about their ex because that's usually a sign they're still hung up. And if somebody is being overly nice and deferential about their ex, it. It could just be that they're compensating and trying to be polite because they're, like, emotionally mature and don't want to trash they ex to their new BF or gf.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dasha]

Yeah. I. I think it's okay to talk a little.

[Anna]

Yes. Provided that there's still. That there's no, like, residual feelings. Whatever. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Which I guess is her concern.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But if this woman didn't want to have kids with her ex.

[Anna]

Mm. It's kind of like the big deal.

[Dasha]

Breaker, and it's a little indicting of her character, at least.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Or maybe she was onto something and you should break up with him.

[Anna]

She didn't want to have kids with him specifically.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

She's down to have kids with any other guy.

[Dasha]

Maybe if she's so great, you could upgrade too.

[Anna]

This is one of those more will be revealed things that you have to, like, use your intuition for, I guess. Damn. Our advice sucks.

[Dasha]

I know.

[Anna]

I mean, these questions suck because they're, like, hard to give advice to because there's, like, not enough data.

[Dasha]

And these are the best ones.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

So a lot of people have a hard time editing for interest.

[Anna]

Yeah. At least she was brief. Good for her.

[Dasha]

All of these are.

[Anna]

I can tell why he loves you. You're not like the other girls.

[Dasha]

Can I have some more wine?

[Anna]

Oh, yeah.

[Dasha]

I'm also worried about the battery on. On this thing.

[Anna]

Is that plugged in?

[Dasha]

It's not, but there's batteries in there. But I don't know how long they last, but hopefully, if not, we can see there. There's the plug.

[Anna]

Oh, so we can, like, move it to the table?

[Dasha]

We could. Yeah, if we need to. I'll just keep an eye on it.

[Anna]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. My hunch is that, like, he's just trying to be. He's trying to make himself look like the kind of guy who wouldn't talk about his ex to you, because if he'll talk about her to you, he'll talk about you to somebody else when.

[Dasha]

You inevitably break up with her.

[Anna]

Yeah. So he's, like, thinking ahead and playing 4D chess.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I mean, I guess it sucks if you. He should disparage his ex a little bit. Besides.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Her not wanting to have kids with him. Right. Because if that really is the only thing, then he. The subtext is he's pining to have children with this woman.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

So he should focus on her lack of maternal instinct, stuff like that.

[Anna]

True. Call her fat.

[Dasha]

Yeah, maybe she's fat. Okay, this one.

[Caller]

Hi, ladies.

I love the pod. I'm gonna try and keep this brief. I'm 24 and I started transitioning at the end of high school. I started taking estrogen the day that I graduated. And it's been about five years. And basically I just don't have any sex drive. Actually, that's not exactly true, but my sex drive, it just feels like completely alien to me and. And you know, I want to be able to put out. And I kind of miss just being like a horny teenager, like a horny teenage boy. And I don't have any intentions of detransitioning. I just wish that I were a little hornier because I think that it would make life a bit more exciting. So I know you guys are up on your, I don't know, health hormone stuff, so if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it. Thanks. Bye.

[Dasha]

Are we up on our health hormones?

[Anna]

Yeah. What?

[Dasha]

I feel like we're both of the mind that hormones are pretty mysterious.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Why we don't recommend transitioning.

[Anna]

I'm just now, like, getting a handle on my menstrual cycle at 40 years old. Like, I just now figured out that, like, your progesterone spikes in the luteal phase.

[Dasha]

That's right. That's the problem.

[Anna]

The body is priming for pregnancy, and then when the egg does not get fertilized, you get your.

[Dasha]

Then you become a huge.

[Anna]

Yeah, this is news to me. God bless our trans listeners that we still have. Like, God bless these people for sticking with us through our racism and sexism and transphobia. God, and happy holidays and Merry Christmas too.

[Dasha]

But yeah, they really must be mentally ill. Yeah.

[Anna]

I mean, you could have seen this coming, though. It's like, obviously when you tamper with your God given natural hormonal constitution, it will create horrible first and second and third order effects. The.

[Dasha]

This one doesn't even sound so bad.

[Anna]

Yeah. Like, of course you're gonna ruin your sex drive. That's one of the known side effects of transitioning.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

And like, they can't orgasm and they become sterile. It's really bad.

[Dasha]

Well, the Sterility. Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Goes without saying. But they're also so they're 24, they're like five years.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And well, you'll never be as horny as a teenage boy.

[Anna]

Sure.

[Dasha]

That's always going to be, I think.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

But you probably should as a 24.

[Anna]

Year old be extremely horny. That's normal.

[Dasha]

Yeah. But the estrogen, that's the stress hormone by the way. Exactly. So that's why you got to work on lowering your cortisol. Yeah. Maybe try some ashwagandha or methylene blue.

[Anna]

Here's a wild thought, a wild idea. Why not just like be a young guy who wears women's clothing sometimes and isn't on like hormones or getting a neo pussy or whatever.

[Dasha]

Well, it's so crazy. They don't want to be a third thing or even a first thing.

[Anna]

I mean, if you're going to be a secret third thing. Right. Which is what like modern transgenderism is about. It's not like passing as the opposite sex. Then you have to, you know, do the Salome thing and acknowledge that you're going to be like a muse of God or something and eunuch for the kingdom of heaven. Yeah. And you're not going to be like, you know, a typical horny young person.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Maybe God's taken your sex drive away to free you from the wages of sin. Silver lining.

[Anna]

True. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And really sex is just a big distraction from, I don't know, other kinds of fulfillment from procreative side.

[Anna]

Which you're not having anyway.

[Dasha]

Yeah, they want. I mean it doesn't sound like they've maybe had the bottom surgery.

[Anna]

Yeah. I'm assuming. No.

[Dasha]

So basically you want to have like anals. You're not feeling driven to have anal sex.

[Anna]

Yeah. Which is a sin to begin with.

[Dasha]

Chasers.

[Anna]

I wouldn't recommend detransitioning because as it turns out those people are even more annoying than the trans people. So you're kind of.

[Dasha]

It's like once the damage is done.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But maybe. Yeah, try it. See how it feels not being on estrogen and maybe. Yeah, I'm gonna second what you said and try just being like a hyper effeminate guy. Yeah, a dandy guy.

[Anna]

Sure.

[Dasha]

And maybe you'll find yourself wanting. Uh huh. To get railed out Right. By a DL Boo.

[Anna]

It's very interesting because they do have the impulse to understand that they're missing out on something. You know, like they're not purely asexual. You would think that if you had no sex drive, you wouldn't really miss sex or care about it.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

Anyway, whatever. I'm going down like a. A stoner now. So I'm going down a esoteric, like, wormhole. I was walking around the other day, high as, and I saw one of those, like, fiber. Like, recycled fiber to go coffee trays, like, upside down in a puddle, and I thought it was a scary Venetian mask, like, Eyes Wide Shut. Oh, my God, the Illuminati are speaking to me.

[Dasha]

Give up your inquiries. Yeah, and she does smoke weed in that movie, actually.

[Anna]

That's what.

[Dasha]

That's what kind of. That's what sets everything in motion. Mm. Is the weeds making you aggressive? He says. You ever do edibles?

[Anna]

Yeah, all the time.

[Dasha]

All the time. That's crazy, Anna.

[Anna]

I know, I know. It's so gay and pathetic.

[Dasha]

It's just in this. At this point in your life.

[Anna]

I know. That's the wor. I know, I know, I know. It's so predictable. I remember frowning upon various boomers I know who love to, like, toke up, like, smoke a joint or whatever. I don't even know, like, what's your.

[Dasha]

What's your preferred way of ingesting cannabis?

[Anna]

I mean, I like the edible because it's, like, quick and painless, but it takes forever to, like, act. I don't really like smoking it because you just, like, hack and cough everywhere.

[Dasha]

Yeah. And you smell bad.

[Anna]

You smell bad. And it's unpleasant, but that's fast. I don't know. I don't really care. Whatever.

[Dasha]

The edible is just too hard. The dosage.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's true.

[Dasha]

We have. There's an episode for. From years ago where I accidentally took, like, a 75 milligram edible.

[Anna]

Wait, I think that was me. Was it both. Both of us did it?

[Dasha]

Maybe.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Dasha]

This was like, I found a gummy randomly and didn't know what the dosage was, and really stupidly just, like, ate.

[Anna]

It, the whole thing. And we're high.

[Dasha]

And then I remember sitting on, like, my bedroom floor being like, I can't even.

[Anna]

Yeah, I gotta go do the podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dasha]

But it was probably indistinguishable from the other episodes where I also can't remember what I'm saying.

[Anna]

Yeah, no, There was also an episode where I ate, like, a chocolate edible that Leia had that I thought was a bon bon and was, like, high AF for, like, two and a half days.

[Dasha]

I think as long as you don't have, like, a pipe or a bong, you're kind of. You're in the clear. If you're not invest. If you're not investing in paraphernalia.

[Anna]

I'm just a 40 year old stoner. What?

[Dasha]

Nothing. Just way too much upskirt. But it's okay. These is a skort.

[Anna]

Oh yeah. So there's like bills.

[Dasha]

So those shorts.

[Anna]

So funny. One of the funniest things about this moment is that they've like stopped completely tailoring clothing or sewing linings into everything. But they do sew like underpants into everything. Mini skirts. Which is annoying because when you're trying to get like felt up.

[Dasha]

Oh right.

[Anna]

And there's like shorts up in there.

[Dasha]

It's because the garment's so unstructured.

[Anna]

It's true. Yeah.

[Dasha]

But it's nice for modesty. It was modest outfit.

[Anna]

Christian woman.

[Dasha]

Okay, this one, it's interesting. The sound quality is not good, but.

[Caller]

Hi ladies. Love the pod. Longtime listener, first time caller. Sorry, I'm cooking dinner right now. I just got married this summer and I'm 29 years old. I've been with my husband for about seven years. So it was kind of like a long time coming. Super happy. He's like the best guy ever. But this fall I started taking this like driving like snowboard driving class and I have this instructor who's like. He's like literally like a 16 year old boy. And I can't stop thinking about it. Like he sort of like mature and. Yes. I have a question. A 16 year old boy. What do I do? Should I drop a diving class? I'm really enjoying it. Yeah. Okay. Goodbye.

[Dasha]

She's got a crush on her 16 year old diving instructor. Cool. I mean what are you gonna do?

[Anna]

Yeah, I guess you could him blow up your marriage.

[Dasha]

I'm gonna give. I'm gonna say don't do that, it's not worth it. And just you know sometimes you meet a young person and you. She should get pregnant. I think she has displaced maternal.

[Anna]

Maybe she's horny for her 16 year old diving instructor because she wants a baby so bad.

[Dasha]

Because she feels some affinity with a younger. She's 29, which isn't. I bet he is hot. He does sound hot.

[Anna]

Why is a 29 year old woman going a 16 year old boy to teach her how to dive. What?

[Dasha]

Sounds like a good movie, honestly.

[Anna]

I know.

[Dasha]

And she's been. She's recently married but she's been with her boyfriend for a while.

[Anna]

Seven years.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

So she was 22 when they met. That's a good run.

[Dasha]

So still older than her crush. Uh huh. I think it'll pass. You just Gotta.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I mean, what do you. You can't have sex with your diving instructor.

[Anna]

I mean, you could. It's just not worth it and probably a bad idea.

[Dasha]

And nothing might be illegal.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's true. She's. She might be a New York Post headline. That's cool. Something to think about.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Sign a life. At least you have a libido, you know?

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

So just put it out of your mind.

[Anna]

I think what you're gonna want to do. Yeah, Dasha, you're right. Is you're gonna want to put a damper on the libido by having a baby, which will transition for a few months.

[Dasha]

But that's.

[Anna]

I mean, yeah, obviously. Like when you get married, you're gonna meet other people that you find sexually attractive.

[Dasha]

Some children maybe.

[Anna]

There's nothing you can do about it. But the idea behind marriage is that you can't. You tell me. You can't stray.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I guess you're not. Affairs.

[Anna]

But I guess if I was gonna have an affair on my husband, I wouldn't do it with like an underage person.

[Dasha]

Maybe that's the best person to do it with. So you can gaslight them, so you can manipulate them.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But I'm sure he's attractive, but I feel like something else is going on.

[Anna]

Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Good luck.

[Anna]

Ain't no 16 year old boy that attractive.

[Dasha]

I don't.

[Anna]

I mean, unless he's like white trash or from the hood, in which case he's not a diving instructor.

[Dasha]

Well, maybe he's. He's a diver, so he's got probably a good body. True. But no, in general, I don't find zoomers, for the most part to be. I guess maybe because when I was young and I saw older like teens and young adults, they were usually portrayed by actual adults.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

Even on euphoria. Like all those people are 30. Basically.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

So when you think of a sexy teen, unless you're like a true fever file, you're usually thinking about like an adult. That's teen presenting.

[Anna]

It's so true. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And actual teens are kind of like.

[Anna]

And when you see an actual skinny, fat, clammy.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Showered. You're like, duh. Yeah, like, oh, that little kid.

[Dasha]

Weird little kid.

[Anna]

I see like college undergrads now and I'm just like, damn, you're. What are you, in kindergarten?

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, Anna and Dasha. I hope you're. Well, my question is about my boyfriend of three years. I'm 22 now and we've been together since I was 19. And our relationship is pretty solid. Like, we care about each other a lot, love each other or whatever. But, like, a recurring issue that I have in the relationship is that he has this really close girlfriend, which defines, I guess, not super thrilled about it, but whatever. The problem is that he constantly makes jokes with her on Instagram about, like, her weight and like, eating disorder type jokes. Like, it'll be an Instagram reel of like, a fat girl eating a bunch of pizza. And he'll like, tag her in the comments and be like, this is like, you so you. Haha.

[Anna]

Like.

[Caller]

Or like a pig real. He'll like, tag her. Or like, you know, tag her in his Instagram story and say like, don't eat too much tonight. And first of all, she's way skinnier than me, which is already fucked up. And I feel like I don't have to explain why. Like, those type of jokes would, like, piss me off. Beyond that, it's like. It's just like, makes me mad because why are you doing this with another girl? And I've told this to him a bunch of times. He doesn't care. So my question is basically like, is there any other way to get back at my boyfriend other than starving myself until I'm way, way skinnier than this girl?

[Dasha]

Thanks.

[Caller]

Love you.

Bye.

[Anna]

Yeah, there is. It's called breaking up with him so he can go be with the girl that he really wants to be with.

[Dasha]

What is that?

[Anna]

I know.

[Dasha]

That's so.

[Anna]

He gay.

[Dasha]

It seems so gay.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

To be like, this little pig is you.

[Anna]

Yeah. It sounds like a. It's like flirty. It's a flirtation, right?

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And like, what does. I am curious. Like, what does he say? And she's like, why are you. I would freak out.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I'd be like, what do you mean?

[Anna]

What do you. Yeah, what do you.

[Dasha]

What do you mean? Yeah, true. And I think men and women can be friends.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But they just shouldn't do stuff like this.

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

Especially if she's skinnier. You men and women can be friends, but not with anyone thinner than your girlfriend. That's the rules. I don't make them.

[Anna]

So true. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. He's gotta cut this loose or you have to dip. Mm.

[Anna]

Yeah. That ain't right.

[Dasha]

Because other people can see that on Instagram. Yeah. They see him a real of a girl eating a bunch of beans. It does sound good.

[Anna]

For years ago, I forgot even what the image was, but Maddie posted like a picture on. On Instagram and Eli liked it or commented on it.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And people were like speculating that he was cheating on me and secretly in love with Maddie and he left like a fire emoji. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was. And I was like having a laugh over it because love them both to death. And I think they love each other in their own weird way, but they literally just like hate each other.

[Dasha]

They would not be compatible.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But your man just shouldn't be so active on. He shouldn't be posting stories. Honestly, there's no reason why are you as a man posting an Instagram story.

[Anna]

Or commenting for what, another girl's. Yeah, I think like, if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't comment on other women's tweets or Instagram posts or stories or tick tocks or anything. Unless you're howling mutant.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And then you have like carte blanche to sexually harass anyone ever and possibly even rape her in the street.

[Dasha]

And it just. It's not a very funny.

[Anna]

It.

[Dasha]

Yeah, like being like, oh, don't eat too much.

[Anna]

It's like. It's actually kind of like a grosseth bit because maybe the guy is horny for his female friend. I don't know. Sounds like it, right?

[Dasha]

Yeah. Or gay.

[Anna]

Or gay. And it sounds like she, you know, possibly actually has an eating disorder that she's pretending to be like casual and ironic about.

[Dasha]

Yeah, maybe.

[Anna]

I don't know.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I would put my foot down.

[Anna]

Me too. Yeah.

[Dasha]

So this is. This is. Wait. Okay. Okay.

[Caller]

Big fan of the pod. I would say my dilemma is kind of navigating my newfound independence and freedom. I moved to LA straight out of high school about a year ago, and I've been doing pretty good.

I've not been close to being homeless.

On the streets at all. I've been doing really good in school. The only thing is that I've been pretty loaded and high and on drugs the entire time I've been here. And I just wanted to know if.

Like, you know, is there something I.

Should do about this right now? You know, I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me to get sober and clean.

I'm not even 20. So, you know, do I like, do.

Something about this now or wait and later in life when it's like something I can grapple with and have way better financial gain over, or do I like, do that now? Can I record this?

Fuck.

[Anna]

Ah, the faggots dilemma.

[Dasha]

So he's doing pretty good, except he's on drugs the whole time. But besides that, he's doing pretty good.

[Anna]

So he's obviously homeless on the street and he doesn't even know it. I'm doing so well. Okay.

[Dasha]

I'm doing.

[Anna]

I'm not even having bareback sex anymore.

[Dasha]

Except I'm super loaded, I think.

[Anna]

Wait.

[Dasha]

To get sober?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Why now? Something.

[Anna]

He might do something stupid and end up killing himself by accident. But you know, in that case, that's just God's will. God's plan.

[Dasha]

He won't take you before you're ready.

[Anna]

We'll miss you, little bro.

[Dasha]

I. It sounds like he's not down so bad. It sounds like he's a function. High functioning.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

Maybe even addict.

[Anna]

My only advice to him is that he should just hoard as much money as possible while he has and like invest it well. I don't know how to invest money well and I don't understand how crypto works. But he's a student. Yeah, but you should start like making bank to sustain his drug addiction. Exactly.

[Dasha]

I never get sober. But make sure you have the means.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

To stay loaded.

[Anna]

And the way I see it is he's not even 20. So he's 19. He's 19.

[Dasha]

That's a great idea. I was on drugs all the time when I was 19 and yeah, so true.

[Anna]

But were you calling into shows, ranting and raving about how you were on drugs?

[Dasha]

I didn't have, I didn't listen to. I wasn't even listening to podcasts.

[Anna]

The way I see it is like most people are pretty good up until like 37, 38 and then you crash out and become a sober guy or.

[Dasha]

You die or you hit rock bottom early on, in which case, yeah, you.

[Anna]

Have to get sober and that'll be a fun. Most people die being a sober guy and 13 years or whatever.

[Dasha]

Yeah. But right now I feel like gay guy in LA sobriety is just going to hinder you.

[Anna]

He's like, actually I'm straight.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I. It's just going to be an impediment at this juncture.

[Anna]

Yeah. You want to be nice and delusional to make moves in LA as a gay guy, as an upand coming with actual.

[Dasha]

In the Los Angeles metro area.

[Anna]

They're like, what do you have going on? What do you do? It's like, oh, I'm a producer, I'm a director, I'm in. I'm a, I'm a comedian, I'm a standup comedian, I'm an investor, I'm an upand coming gay guy.

[Dasha]

I'm a gay drug addict and I'm doing Amazing. Yeah. 19's so young. You can.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

You're going to have your whole, whole life to get sober. Oh, good luck.

[Anna]

And then you can get like me and start doing drugs again when you're 40.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I wonder what he's on.

[Anna]

Yeah. Meth. What are gay guys on?

[Dasha]

Coke? Pills?

[Anna]

Yeah, pills. He's not a stoner, that's for sure.

[Dasha]

I don't think so. That's. That's not even a drug. Okay, this one's all right.

[Caller]

All right, So I am 29, gay, male, American, currently working in tech in Estonia. Not loving it. I gotta say, the dating scene here is really tough for me. Everyone's an adult male, blonde. Not my thing. I'm not really their thing either. So, you know, I've been traveling around Europe a bit this year, and, like, every time I go to, like, Paris or Rome or, like, a big city and I go out with somebody, like, I. It's always easy for me to make a connection, and it's like, all good on paper, but then we live so far away, and then the guys I meet here in Estonia, it's just like, it's not. It's not going to work. So I guess my question is, like, do you think that's the viable way to meet a partner? Because, like, I'm trying to, like, meet my guy, my partner, and, like. And I've met a lot of guys abroad. Like, I've traveled a lot where, like, I click, but, you know, and we've had, like, I don't know, days, weeks, where we text or try to keep in touch, and then it doesn't really pan out. So, like, historically it hasn't worked, but maybe it could. What do you think? Should I focus on trying to find, like, an international here in Estonia or. Or someone here or somewhere else in Europe where I might want to live, or should I just go back to the East Village, pack it up?

[Anna]

Yeah. Aw. You're not going to like what I'm going to say next because you're a gay guy. So it's just not going to work ever for you?

[Dasha]

No, that's not. Maybe not long term, but he could find a boyfriend. He could have a boyfriend.

[Anna]

I mean, he's asking. If he's asking, I don't know what's viable for him to keep seeking love connections through international travel. And it's like, we can't answer that question for you. It's like, you. You have to let the data do the talking. Do you? Are you finding love connections?

[Dasha]

It sounds like, yeah. If he goes to Paris or something.

[Anna]

He wants something more long term.

[Dasha]

What's wrong with Estonia? I bet there's hot guys in Estonia.

[Anna]

They're probably Neo Nazis.

[Dasha]

Hot. Hot. Kind of a pagan Baltoid vibe. He doesn't like the male blonde, which. Yeah, I get it, I get it. Yeah.

[Anna]

That's not a fave for the lady, but low key.

[Dasha]

He's also kind of bragging about how he's in Estonia. I feel like.

[Anna]

Is he. Is it. Is it a brag to be in.

[Dasha]

Estonia, kind of, like, for work? Yeah, I feel like it's a brag to be, like, somewhere exotic for work. Right.

[Anna]

I mean, I don't know how it is in Europe. I haven't been back in a while, but they have those, like, 27 Ryan Air flights. Right. So he can just, like, jet set around.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And the problem is less, like, meeting people. It's like, less Estonia and less meeting people internationally than, like, not really, like, having a home base, I guess.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

If you're not planning to live in Estonia long term.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Which it sounds like he's not.

[Anna]

Yeah. Why.

[Dasha]

Why even. Try to put down roots and.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

Just. Yeah. Do the Euro flight to a more swarthy locale.

[Anna]

Paris is good.

[Dasha]

Rome, Mykonos, whatever.

[Anna]

Yeah. Aren't there Russian guys in Estonia? I would assume there's, like, residual Russian populations. There are, maybe, but they're in Russia.

[Dasha]

They don't always look so good.

[Anna]

Yeah. But, you know, his Russian pronunciation is pretty good, so I haven't been to US.

[Dasha]

I haven't been to Estonia.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I don't really claim that part of my ancestry, but my impression of it is that it's cool.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And that the people are probably pretty good looking on average.

[Anna]

Yeah. I'd be curious to see. I've been to Latvia, and people are pretty busted over there.

[Dasha]

Really?

[Anna]

My mom calls the Baltic states. Like, she says they're all like.

[Dasha]

Said it was a higher ethnic category.

[Anna]

Yeah. Yeah. But she says that they're basically all Germanics and Nazis, which might be true.

[Dasha]

They definitely are. Yeah.

[Anna]

Because they are under German influence. They're not like.

[Dasha]

And they did convert to Christian. They were, like, the last. I feel like I should switch this chord because it's. I'm just gonna do it.

[Anna]

What's going on with the cord?

[Dasha]

Oh, whoa.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Okay. I think that's better. I think that's working. Just gonna do that. Oh, God. Okay. I don't know how they do it. Anna.

[Anna]

The streamers.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

They probably have unpaid interns.

[Dasha]

Well, they also just straight it's just one kind of thing.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And they probably have such a product for them. You think? Yeah. Do you think?

[Anna]

I mean, they're also like young men, so they're like, inherently tax savvy in a way that we're not.

[Dasha]

You think Clavicular has to tech problem?

[Anna]

Who is that guy? He's a look smacking influencer.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

But he's sort of right wing because in order to be looks maxed, you have to be right wing. Is that the idea? I don't know.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

He doesn't care about politics. He only cares about looking his best. And he does bone smashing.

[Anna]

What does that mean?

[Dasha]

It's when you hit. You punch your face. Okay. Or hit it with like, a hammer.

[Anna]

To do what?

[Dasha]

To. Well, if you're a man and you want more definition. So what Clavicular does is he punches his own face until it becomes inflamed and then puts makeup on. Okay. So that he looks kind of more chatted.

[Anna]

He should get a drinking habit. It makes your face look really, really poppy.

[Dasha]

I. Yeah.

[Anna]

It's amazing what being an alcoholic can do for you.

[Dasha]

He says a lot of people he don't know how to bone smash properly, I'm sure. But he has some technique. And. Yeah. He's like a streamer. He's super popular and everyone's watching him and not us.

[Anna]

So what is he. What does he talk about on his stream?

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Anna]

Like, looks maxing.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Nothing else.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

I'm gonna check this out. It's like, he looks good. Matan Clavicular.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Damn. I'm like, halfway to the grave. It's over for me.

[Dasha]

Exactly. This is. I know. And we can't even do this.

[Anna]

It's over and I can't. I can't even sit here and be, like, condescending and a. To these young guys who are, like, making waves, because I have no idea. Like, it's just way.

[Dasha]

You don't even know who they are.

[Anna]

But even when I learn, it's just like too much for me. And they're only like the next gen. There's gonna come in another gen after that. I know that's gonna make them feel, like, dopey and old.

[Dasha]

I feel like it's a little bit of a. This is cope but like a recession indicator. Because I feel like podcasts are good for people who have jobs. Okay. Right. Where they have to do something.

[Anna]

Commuting.

[Dasha]

They're commuting. Or they are performing some tasks or they need, like, just something to Listen to. Right. But now no one has no job. Yeah. So they want to watch a streamer so they don't feel so lonely. Yeah.

[Anna]

And they don't leave their house or, like, have a job or go to school. They're just like, looks maxing in their mother's basement forever.

[Dasha]

Clavicular is doing good. Yeah, he's like the main looks maxer. Oh.

[Anna]

I'm gonna look this guy up.

[Dasha]

You haven't seen him.

[Anna]

I know what he looks like. I've seen him around.

[Dasha]

Yeah, You've seen him? Yeah, I'm. I would be scared, honestly, to meet him.

[Anna]

He's like a guy who was, like, naturally hot to begin with.

[Dasha]

Obviously.

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

Oh, okay. No. All right, all right, Anna.

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

He transformed himself. He ascended. Oh, sorry. This guy' guys. Oh, yeah, this. This isn't him. But this is another guy I just opened up. Tick tock.

[Anna]

Fixed his asymmetry. I've seen that real. You have? Well, I, I, I personally like having asymmetry.

[Dasha]

Me too, actually, like, more natural. I think clavicular is wrong and we're.

[Anna]

Like yin and yang, where, like, my asymmetry matches. Don't smash.

[Dasha]

See, he didn't used to be hot. Uhhuh.

[Anna]

But then he got contact lenses and.

[Dasha]

Plastic surgery, so he bone smashed. He did his own surgery.

[Anna]

Peptides, our hot zoomer guy friends should get into that.

[Dasha]

Like, they probably are. They probably already are smashing the damn bones in their face. But we. Yeah, women shouldn't probably do it at all. No.

[Anna]

No. We should just become alcoholics.

[Dasha]

I feel like I look as good as possible.

[Anna]

Yeah, you look amazing. Your skin looks great. It's.

[Dasha]

Could look better, but, like, what? Can I even get bangs?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Anna]

I'm getting a head trailer.

[Dasha]

I don't know how to ascend more than this. I'm maxed out. I have looks maxed and this is it. I guess I could get breast implants. Nah. Could be fun.

[Anna]

You know me, I'm a small titty truther. I think they look better and men don't care and whatever.

[Dasha]

I appreciate that, Anna.

[Anna]

It's so true. It's just so true.

[Dasha]

It's not necessarily true, but men do care. Ish. Sometimes your tits have to be in.

[Anna]

Like, the normal range. They can be on the small side, but on. Or on the big side, but they can't be like, you know, like, some girls have just, like, concave titties.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And then some girls have just like, you need a breast reduction and usually looks better.

[Dasha]

I know. People love Them, the meme is that.

[Anna]

Sometimes your tits are so big that it looks grotesque and monstrous.

[Dasha]

Well, even when I, like in my. Sometimes in my luteal phase, my tits got a little bigger and I feel fat.

[Anna]

So true. Yeah.

[Dasha]

You know, I'm like, I want them to go back down.

[Anna]

Yeah. You're never gonna win as a woman. See that? May as well die. You should kill. That's my advice. You should. You should all kill yourself.

[Dasha]

Commits suicide. Riley and I got in a fight because he was like, why don't you guys do like a live call in show? And I was like, it's too hard.

[Anna]

We did that once, right?

[Dasha]

We've done the space. No, we've never done like live.

[Anna]

Right?

[Dasha]

Yeah, because you need someone to screen the calls, right? Yeah, because otherwise we'd be like Nick Fuentes taking super chats, like putting the. On in our mouth.

[Anna]

Yeah. We could get. We could get up in a studio and have some like, we have to go Frasier mode. Yeah. And have the little, the. The mic rig that looks like a. We don't even BBC like, hanging like this. It's always like this.

[Dasha]

Yeah. We have to go on one of those shows where they like bully only fans. Girls.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

To take the calls, whatever. Yeah.

[Anna]

He's like, so you're both washed up, 40 year old. Like, yeah, yeah, totally, like agreeing with everything he says. We're like. He's like, what? You're.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, girls. Long time listener here. So I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now. He asked my parents for a blessing to propose about five months ago, and he got their blessing. And then he. Then I sort of told him not to propose yet because he decided to move to Germany to do his mfa and he asked me to come with him. And then I went to visit and I liked it, you know, I liked the Australians and the Germans there. It was cool. But ultimately I want to live in New York and I don't want to live there. He wants to keep fighting for it and making it work, doing long distance, but I'm having a hard time remaining loyal. I got. But he wants to marry me and he's a great guy. Should I just, you know, mature and suck it up and stop being horny? I'm 25. Or should I just end things now before I end up being married and depressed and I'm Catholic? He's not. But he's willing to get married in the Catholic church and that's why I want to get married.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I don't know what do you guys think? Oh. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. Love you guys. Bye.

[Anna]

What?

[Dasha]

Wait, look what it just did.

[Anna]

What?

[Dasha]

No, no, you say something. Watch it out.

[Anna]

Testing. No.

[Dasha]

What the. What is that?

[Anna]

Because I think it's like a Catholic marriage question. So the eye of God was like doctor, why don't you. Not really.

[Dasha]

She sounds like she's cheating on him.

[Anna]

Yeah, she is. She's a.

[Dasha]

I don't know what to do.

[Anna]

How do we fix it? Can we just like suture the recordings together?

[Dasha]

Oh my God, no.

[Anna]

Why.

[Dasha]

Is that fine?

[Anna]

Does it working?

[Dasha]

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Okay. I turned on the like, it does have like AI tracking and I turned it on cuz I thought it would maybe make the video more dynamic. But then it wasn't working until just then.

[Anna]

How does AI tracking work?

[Dasha]

I mean, ideally it's like. Yeah, it like follows every person who's speaking.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Is that okay? Should I adjust it? It's probably fine.

[Anna]

Looks. Hello.

[Dasha]

Hello.

[Anna]

Hello.

[Dasha]

Okay, so your boyfriend is getting an MFA in Germany.

[Anna]

You don't want to marry him because he wants to marry you. Classic.

[Dasha]

Well, she doesn't want to live in Germany, but he's just getting an mfa.

[Anna]

Who's getting him mfa? This is Cope.

[Dasha]

Yeah, she's over it.

[Anna]

Yeah, she doesn't want to marry him because the minute that he asked her parents for permission, it was over. Yeah, cuz she was like a simp.

[Dasha]

She was confronted with the reality.

[Anna]

I don't know what to tell like young people who are like facing down the situation.

[Dasha]

What do you mean?

[Anna]

Like, remember that tweet you had where you were like, oh, it's like too late for me, but if you. Blah, blah, blah, like you have to.

[Dasha]

Take desperate measures to reach someone.

[Anna]

I think it's probably like just good to get married when you're young and stick it out and have kids and then you can like get divorced when you're like my age and write an article in the New York Times or the Atlantic about it.

[Dasha]

Yeah, you could write a.

[Anna]

And that ship has sailed for me because I was too selfish to figure it out. So I don't know, like I can't advise young people. People, but my instinct is like, yes, get married and have kids and then figure it out.

[Dasha]

You think she should?

[Anna]

I mean, is she really going to find a better guy? You think so?

[Dasha]

I don't know. What's he going to MFA for?

[Anna]

Yeah, who knows?

[Dasha]

You can find someone that in Germany.

[Anna]

Classics. Who knows?

[Dasha]

Will Emma face like fine art. Oh, right.

[Anna]

Oh, he's an artist.

[Dasha]

Leave Him?

[Anna]

Yeah. You found the one straight guy who's an artist, wants to marry girl.

[Dasha]

I mean, I get it. Germany sucks.

[Anna]

Yeah. I don't think it's about Germany though. She's just not that into him and doesn't want to marry him. And that's brutal. It's gonna suck for him, but.

[Dasha]

You should dip.

[Anna]

No comment.

[Dasha]

I think, while she can.

[Anna]

Yeah, I mean, she's young enough that she has a couple of years to like around and figure it out.

[Dasha]

Definitely don't let your boyfriend get in the way of you meeting your husband.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

You know?

[Anna]

Yeah. Another thing my mother always used to tell me, like, oh, boyfriend, girlfriend, this does not matter. It's fake even. You can even break up a marriage if you want. You know, it's like this kind of vibe. It's true, it's true. When you're like a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you can do whatever the you want.

[Dasha]

Well, people love to say that I cheated on my fiance, but I'm like, a fiance is just another person you didn't get married to. That's not a sacramental bond. Sorry, doesn't.

[Anna]

So you're admitting that you cheated? So did she Did. Is she?

[Dasha]

She said she's having a hard time staying loyal. Right.

[Anna]

Yeah. I mean, I think like the thing is at. Everybody cheats at the end of a relationship. It's also.

[Dasha]

It feels like kamikaze style to call into the show because it's like once these clips start going with these amazing clips are going viral, it's over for your relationship.

[Anna]

Anyway, Dasha said that you should cheat on your fiance.

[Dasha]

Cuz they're not. That's not your husband technically, but sounds like she's already. She's way ahead of me.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

And yeah, usually if you do something like that, it's a sign that you need to re evaluate.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hi. So my question is, how do you think I should move forward with hookups from Grindr? Because in the moment when I'm talking to these guys, I feel so confident, so liberated. And during the act, I feel so liberated as well. But then right after, I feel very. I feel very shameful and don't know how to feel. Ultimately I feel like a lot of shame. What do you recommend I should do? Should I get off the app? Should I? Yeah, because like, I live in the middle of Florida. Like there ain't no out of trade here. But what do you guys recommend?

[Anna]

Thanks.

[Caller]

Have a good day, guys.

[Anna]

Hey, Anna. Dasha. I'm just calling into your holiday podcast to ask what you recommend is, like, the best way of having gay. It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose. What?

[Dasha]

Before I have the gay sex, and while I'm having the gay sex, I.

[Anna]

Feel so good, and then afterward, I'm like, oh, my God, I just committed biblical sodomy. I should just kill myself. It's not about the apps, babe. Also, why do our all of our callers sound kind of trans and we also sound kind of trans?

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Damn.

[Dasha]

The ecosystem we built. I think the apps are part of it. Because he's having basically anonymous sex, and he's horny before, and then he nuts and has postnut clarity, which isn't even unique to the gay experience, Right?

[Anna]

Sure isn't. No.

[Dasha]

But he's in Florida.

[Anna]

That sounds like a great place to have anonymous gay sex. If I was a gay guy looking to have anonymous gay sex, that's where I would go. I would go to landlocked Florida. Not even, like. Yeah, I would go into, like, True Detective season one, like, Carcosa territory.

[Dasha]

When I'm unlocking my front door and going on sniffies, I feel so liberated. But then afterwards, I keep using the apps. If you want to have gay sex, it seems like the path of least resistance.

[Anna]

Well, what do you want? What's the question?

[Dasha]

What is the question? Should he use the apps?

[Anna]

I mean, it's gonna be the same either way, right?

[Dasha]

Because he gay. Yeah.

[Anna]

Like.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

So you may as may as well, right?

[Dasha]

Yeah, I'd stick it out.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And maybe.

[Anna]

Maybe you'll find the one.

[Dasha]

Maybe, like, don't. You don't need to quit Grindr, but you can try to have, like, diversify and have sex with people in other ways, and maybe that will be more fulfilling.

[Anna]

That's great advice.

[Dasha]

That's very creative.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But in a pinch, Grindr probably works. Okay. This is a good one. It's okay, actually.

[Caller]

Yeah, it's Gary. So I was looking for some void bias. I started seeing this guy recently, and he is so perfect. Like, just the perfect guy for me. But I worry that he's not that into me, and he doesn't seem to want to make it official. So I've been kind of trying to prove myself to him in order to make him want me. And my love language is active service. So recently he mentioned to me that he needed his tiles to be redone in his bathroom, and I offered to do the grout on them. Like, grout them. I had never done it before, but he just didn't really. Didn't want to do it himself. And I was over at his house and I was like, well, time to try new things. And I redid his grout for him. And then afterwards his friends came over and we were all going to go in his hot tub, but I couldn't go in because I hadn't worn gloves when I redid the grout. And my hands were all, like, raw and scrubbed and I. I just, like, felt so stupid. I was like, why did I do that? Because, you know, I really want to be his girlfriend, but I don't think he wants me. So I felt really ashamed after. And I was just wondering if you ladies had any advice for getting a kid your boyfriend without having to do the grout in their bathroom. And if you had any comforting words for someone who has just done this. Yeah, long time fan of the pod and sorry I canceled Dasha.

[Dasha]

Thanks.

[Anna]

Oh, Dasha have tinsel on her phone. I have amazing advice for her.

[Dasha]

Yeah, you're.

[Anna]

And don't ever do that again. And now he's not going to be your boyfriend because as regrouding the the Real Housewives of Moscow article says, you should never, like, buy a man big important gifts because then you become his mommy versus his lover, which is so true. Like, you don't want to do that kind of thing.

[Dasha]

You definitely don't want to retile someone's back.

[Anna]

You're coming out as a lesbian to them if you want to win a man's heart. No offense. I hate to say this, because I'm.

[Dasha]

A very honest and sincere and straightforward person.

[Anna]

When I like somebody, my, like, instinct is to just be, like, nice and normal. But, like, you have to, you know, be a little bit chill and cool and play hard to get. It's the only thing that works.

[Dasha]

Definitely not to like you.

[Anna]

You can't be like a sociopathic evil whore.

[Dasha]

But you shouldn't be simping so much that you're doing grout work.

[Anna]

That's not insane.

[Dasha]

Surely there's more feminine acts of service, right? Why don't you make him dinner Bolognese?

[Anna]

Or like, I don't know, buy him some slippers. Like, why do you have to recy his bath?

[Dasha]

It's crazy.

[Anna]

In that article, if you remember the this young woman asked, was this a recent article? It was from a few months ago. She was like, oh, like, I really want to buy my boyfriend a new top sports car. And this older woman was advised her against it because you don't want to do anything. Like, yeah, it's like you don't want to act as your boyfriend's like, financial advisor or like, and then she couldn't.

[Dasha]

Go in the hot tub.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Because her hands were mangled from, from laying tile. How do you even know how to do that?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Do you know what your love language is?

[Anna]

What are my options? What are the options?

[Dasha]

Okay, it's gift giving. Yeah. Well, there's two. Like there's the ones that you like to give and the ones you like to receive. Right. So there's gift giving, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time. And what's the other one? Do you know?

[Anna]

No, we can look this up.

[Dasha]

What are yours are like receiving acts of service and words of affirmation are probably tied.

[Anna]

Interesting. I'm a qt. Qt. But I like, I like giving gifts. Just don't care about receiving.

[Dasha]

You like give. Gift giving is up there, I think for you.

[Anna]

Yeah, but I don't really like care about.

[Dasha]

Receiving.

[Anna]

Yeah. Cuz I'm at the stage in life where I can just like cop whatever I want. But I do like, I like acts of service.

[Dasha]

Acts of service for me are. Is major.

[Anna]

I think a lot of women like acts of service.

[Dasha]

Some. Yeah. And then I, I like when a.

[Anna]

Man comes in, like, makes my life easy for me. Exactly. Like makes executive decisions. Decisions without consulting you.

[Dasha]

That's physical touch, acts of service, gifts. Oh no, that's five. I did name all of them. Words of affirmation are major for me though.

[Anna]

What do you need a man to say to you?

[Dasha]

Just I'm pretty, smart, special, like, you.

[Anna]

Know, I mean, sure, I love to hear that too.

[Dasha]

Unique.

[Anna]

Yeah. I'm so sick in the head that when a man is like, you're so beautiful, you're so sexy, you're so.

[Dasha]

You're so funny.

[Anna]

I'm like, what do you want from me now?

[Dasha]

No, I love, I like to hear it.

[Anna]

Yeah. It's nice to hear. It's unusual. Yeah, no, it's. It's not unusual, actually. It's like totally commonplace. But I'm like still stunned by it every time it happens. Like, what but an act of service.

[Dasha]

I love. I mean, I value Riley so much because he's so able bodied. Yeah. And can like actually do things I can't do for myself. Yes.

[Anna]

That's important in a man.

[Dasha]

But even like getting me a beer or you know, even just something small where it's like, oh, will you go? You know, oh, he's willing to go and get the beer for me.

[Anna]

You know how like there's like allegedly all these different sex positions, but they can basically be, like, reduced down to three. There's allegedly all these. What?

[Dasha]

You think I should shift this over? I look fat. You want me to shift it?

[Anna]

Yeah, sure.

[Dasha]

So we're more centered in the frame.

[Anna]

Okay. There's allegedly all these. I'm just gonna monologue. Yeah, whatever. Love languages. But they basically can be reduced down to 2, which is quality time and affirmation.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Well. Yeah.

[Anna]

Does this thing move around on its own?

[Dasha]

I turned it off, but then it did it again. And I don't know why, but now I think it should be. It shouldn't move it in. Right. Because if you're having quality time, you're probably having the physical intimacy too.

[Anna]

Right. And, like, you like spending time with each other.

[Dasha]

It's really. Yeah. About the, like, material versus the qualitative versus quantitative. Yeah. Ultimately, I need men to buy me nice handbags. Some bitches really do.

[Anna]

And Cartier bracelet or. I know. Love him. I cheat on him with other men.

[Dasha]

In the African American community, men pay for your hair and nails, which white people do not do so much. And they should.

[Anna]

Do you think they should? I feel like no. No. I feel like black people actually have that one thing. That one thing. That one.

[Dasha]

That's the one thing they're messing up with.

[Anna]

Because it is nice when a man, like, like, wants you to look pretty and he takes care of you. I get the principle behind it, but, like, the whole idea of, like, heterosexual courtship and attraction is that you want to show up. Like, all right. Like, you want him to, like, wow. Like, Right. How do you do it? He's paying for it. He knows how you do it.

[Dasha]

Oh, God. Nothing. It's all fits fine. It's all good.

[Anna]

Dasha, you're like, I'm doing too much. You're like one of those, like, quivering animals and like a Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA.

[Dasha]

I'm just doing too much. And we're needing to. We're gonna figure another way to do it.

[Anna]

Yeah, we'll get a.

[Dasha]

We'll get one more person to figure.

[Anna]

It out for us. Oh, who texted me?

[Dasha]

No, it's true.

[Anna]

You want.

[Dasha]

You don't want to demystify true by putting a price point on how expensive it actually is to make yourself presentable. Whatever you want you them to think you're naturally. I think, like, the low maintenance.

[Anna]

The implicit expectation is, like, the man is going to pay for a bunch of other. So you may as well just like, that's the sunk cost of being a woman. You gotta Pay for it.

[Dasha]

Really?

[Anna]

Aaron Nails.

[Dasha]

It really is. And it's so expensive to get a.

[Anna]

Man any other way. Yeah.

[Dasha]

But some. Yeah. Some really do want the gifts.

[Anna]

That is true.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Not me. So. Not me.

[Anna]

No. I mean, I think we're both very, like, American in that way and that. We're not materialistic.

[Dasha]

We're not like other Russian.

[Anna]

We're not golden.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Anna]

Yeah. Look how cute.

[Dasha]

Oh, so cute. Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, ladies. Big fan of the podcast and I was just wondering if you have any New Year's resolutions. Thanks. Bye, Anna.

[Anna]

New Year's resolutions. No.

[Dasha]

Smoking weed.

[Anna]

What?

[Dasha]

I'm gonna keep smoking weed.

[Anna]

You're keep smoking weed. Do you have any New Year's resolutions? I'm tapped out. I'm with you. I'm pretty much like, I think I've done it all. Thinnest and hottest I'm ever gonna be. It's only downhill from here. I have a beautiful kid. Don't really worry about that so much. What else is left?

[Dasha]

I mean, I'd like to get pregnant.

[Anna]

Yeah. I would do it. Yeah.

[Dasha]

It's not. That's not something I'm resolved to do. I'm kind of in a Jesus, take the wheel way in that regard. I mean, I'm gonna, like, really try to, I guess, lock in. I'd like to taper off benzos once and for all.

[Anna]

Resolution. No, I do want more.

[Dasha]

About 10.

[Anna]

That's not really a resolution. That's more of a.

[Dasha]

You can't. That's not something you resolve to do. But I can aid myself in my fertility journey by.

[Anna]

Not. By tapering off of bends.

[Dasha]

Not having a chemical dependence. Yeah. Which I'm. I'm making progress.

[Anna]

Like, how?

[Dasha]

Just I've been. I cut the pills in half and take a lot because you can't really quit cold turkey because you'll have a seizure and die or something. It's just too high. You, like, have nightmares. You can't.

[Anna]

It's.

[Dasha]

You get more anxious. So that space.

[Anna]

That's.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You know what my New Year's resolution is? Actually, it just dawned on me. I would like to stop saying, like, so much and literally and just like, stupid filler words and just speak directly and effectively and not be like. And literally.

[Dasha]

Like, to be honest, that's honestly a good one.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I'm also gonna stop being so, like, doing the female thing of like, is there any chance, like the qualifying in an email or something where you're being too, like, if possible. Or blah, blah, just ask, like, being more direct.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Because that's actually people instead of hedging.

[Anna]

Well, to that.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Especially if you're like, like, is there any way maybe you could. Oh, hi, Riley.

[Anna]

Hey. Hey.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Do you want to come on the show?

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

No. Hell no. Okay. I can't see you because of our huge tree. Riley. Riley, do you have any New Year's resolutions?

[Anna]

Yeah. What's your New Year's resolution, Riley?

[Dasha]

Okay, you think, you think about it. You let us know.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

I'm also clip farming.

[Anna]

What does that mean?

[Dasha]

Like making short form video content. Oh, okay. I saw him in the mirror. I just want to adjust to. Yeah. I like to grow our business.

[Anna]

Yeah. Well, that's easy. And maybe.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Iron out some of the kinks I'm having with video production.

[Anna]

Yeah. It's like, it's simple but not easy because we have to be like lazy pieces of shit. But mainly habitual stuff. Yeah. Like I would just like to stop like hedging and caveating when I speak because it's unappealing and disingenuous and gay.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

It's like such a baked in habit. I don't know how to stop doing it.

[Dasha]

Well, do you remember in 2020 when my new Year's resolution was to wash my hands more and then covet happened?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

So I'm pretty cautious.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

With the resolutions because I feel like careful what you wish for.

[Anna]

Right. Yeah. Well, how can this one backfire?

[Dasha]

I don't know. Maybe. Did it shift?

[Anna]

No, it's fine.

[Dasha]

Okay. Maybe I won't like being a clip farmer. Maybe I'll be too successful and I'll be sorry.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, ladies. Hope you're well. I'm just calling a bit of a follow up to the Last Love Line. I was the guy who called because my boyfriend and I weren't sure if we wanted to do surrogacy or adoption or whatever. He gave me some really good advice. But the piece of advice that really stuck with me was something that Dasha said, which was to get a monkey. So that's what we did. We went to the zoo and visited all the monkeys, saw the orangutans and we sponsored an orangutan in my name. And like that's been lovely. We've been seeing her. She's 57, she's great. So she doesn't have a lot of time left, but whatever Dot's divulged into a bit of obsession with orangutans for me. And now I want to go to Malaysia, Indonesia to save the orangutans. Make a Missions, trip, think it's like, a calling. So what do I do to convince my boyfriend to go with me because he doesn't want to go. Because, like, the whole gay thing and, like, whatever, and he's more of a homebody.

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Caller]

How do I convince him that I need to get out there and be with the orangutans? That's what my heart's telling me to do. Love you, ladies. Merry Christmas. Thanks for taking the call.

[Anna]

I can't tell if people are trolling us at all times.

[Dasha]

I sounds like he took our advice and kind of got a monkey.

[Anna]

So they, like, did adopt a highway.

[Dasha]

For a zoo monkey that they now visit, but now he really likes the orangutans. I don't know what the gay thing.

[Anna]

Has, like, paternal impulse into.

[Dasha]

A monkey.

[Anna]

Monkey rescuer. Okay, sure.

[Dasha]

But I kind of missed the question again.

[Anna]

Like, he wants his boyfriend to come with him.

[Dasha]

Just go by yourself.

[Anna]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Just figure it out.

[Dasha]

Follow your heart. If you want to be with the orangutans.

[Anna]

Yeah. You can be, like, millennial. Jane Goodall.

[Dasha]

Congrats on not farming a surrogate, interviewing a child for you, and developing a gay hobby instead. That sounds. I didn't even know you could really do that at the zoo. Maybe try getting a real monkey to have in your home.

[Anna]

Can you have exotic pets in the United States? I don't think so.

[Dasha]

I see it on real. I see it on tick tock. There's got to be a way you can have a monkey.

[Anna]

You guys should get a monkey. I'm getting you a monkey.

[Dasha]

My New Year's resolution is to get a monkey. Oh, my God. I would. I would love it. I would love it. But I don't want to get a dog because I'm. I feel like that'll sublimate my procreative impulses.

[Anna]

Walk that thing.

[Dasha]

I'll walk that thing. I'll walk that thing.

[Anna]

I love.

[Dasha]

I would love to have one, but I feel like it's a surrogate behavior. Yeah, yeah. And it's better to get one once you have more of a family anyway. But a monkey is as good as a human being, as in sold. And the clip farming you can do with a monkey that could grow our business.

[Anna]

You can be on that Instagram story or TikTok reel, crying while the monkey tears up your apartment.

[Dasha]

Get ready with me. While my monkey tears her face, rips my hands off third mic, just screaming, monkey that we have to wrangle. I think we answered their question.

[Anna]

Yeah, so true.

[Caller]

Hi ladies. I'm calling in to ask a sex question.

I have difficulty orgasming and to have said on the pod that you don't.

And I was just wondering how do I get that mindset? And I do understand that the answer might be for some is to not think about it. But that's not working for me and that hasn't ever worked for me. So my question is how can I.

Be more comfortable, I guess, having sex.

Thank you. Bye.

[Dasha]

She wants to know how to bust nuts. I think. Don't think about it as completely wrong. Think about it completely. Focus on busting and get yourself into a state of mind where that's. You have to be more. More goal oriented.

[Anna]

Yes. Yeah. And unfortunately it's very psychological and formulaic even when you don't think it is.

[Dasha]

But you have to kind of want you not thinking about it is exactly I think the wrong thing to do. Like don't distract, lock in. You have to lock in and get your like huh. This one's a little raunchy I guess.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But yeah, like get yourself to a.

[Anna]

State.

[Dasha]

Where you can where that's the one, that's the. What you're trying to do to orgasm. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Anna]

You might want to watch some Tim Ferriss videos.

[Dasha]

Who's that?

[Anna]

Female orgasm.

[Dasha]

What?

[Anna]

No, don't do that. He's some bald tech who like does product reviews and lifestyle reviews and like allegedly made some money in tech but basically seems like a roving scam artist.

[Dasha]

And he says that you can come in 15 minutes or come for 4:15.

[Anna]

Minutes which ain't nobody want your feels like the hands of that girl who grouted her situation like bathroom. You're like a third degree burn victim.

[Dasha]

That's too long.

[Anna]

Yeah, it is. Yeah. Huh.

[Dasha]

I don't sound like that guy doesn't know what an orgasm is.

[Anna]

Well, he's a tech so he has to like reverse engineer everything right. In like laborious unintuitive ways. Yeah. This is a tough one because you.

[Dasha]

Try having sex with your diving instructor.

[Anna]

Like all the little puzzle pieces have to fit. Like you have to like someone enough and you have to be in the zone. You to have to feel uninhibited and it's tough. And what do they like? Women start to orgasm on average much later than men in life. Yeah. Cuz like men can just like bust a knot.

[Dasha]

Some women don't get. Yeah. They're not as like hardwired. I feel like when they say that.

[Anna]

There'S some anatomical like considerations like, certain women, like, cannot reach vaginal orgasm, which I don't know how true that is.

[Dasha]

What does that mean, though?

[Anna]

Like.

[Dasha]

Like through penetration.

[Anna]

Through penetration.

[Dasha]

Some definitely can't. But you can manually stimulate yourself.

[Anna]

You can definitely reach, like any woman can reach clitoral orgasm. Unless there's something horribly wrong with her. Her.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

I think most women can probably reach vaginal orgasm. They feel. I don't know. Damn.

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Anna]

I'm not a scientist.

[Dasha]

It sounds like this girl can't do either.

[Anna]

Yeah. So I would focus on the manual stimulation first. Yeah.

[Dasha]

If she doesn't know that.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And then. Yeah. Just try to become as horny as possible before having sex. Kind of classic foreplay style, which is.

[Anna]

Hard to achieve when you're young and don't know what you're doing.

[Dasha]

Yeah. But like you said, it is mostly psychological. So part of the getting into the frame. Frame of mind requires, like, you know. Yeah. Some work on your end. Yeah, it does. Yeah.

[Anna]

Just like chip, chip, chisel away at it.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Like, it's like bone smashing. You know, you start slow, and then next thing you know.

[Caller]

Hey, so what do I do if my boyfriend's really hot? He's tall, he provides. He literally seems perfect. And then he's got, like, two years in, I realize he's got the worst anger issues known to man and then is also kind of a little bitch. Like, crying, screaming, road rage. Might as well be throwing up, like, all these, like, I like that he pays for my meals. I like that he pays for my gas. I like that he wants to move in. And so he's, like, all of a sudden upset about something, and it's like, if I have to be with an angry mother for all my life, should I really go live with an angry man for the rest of it?

[Dasha]

Sounds like he walked in on her last second, she had to hang up. No. Yeah. No, that's a red flag.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Like uncontrollable rage.

[Anna]

Yeah. I'm. My most lived, hard, like, progressive take is if you, like, don't like somebody, you shouldn't be with them.

[Dasha]

I mean, it sounds like she likes him. Besides his.

[Anna]

Ick.

[Dasha]

Giving tantrums.

[Anna]

Yeah. But she doesn't like his personality, so it's kind of like.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And maybe she's stressing him out. True. He's lashing out.

[Anna]

He's clavicular.

[Dasha]

It's her fault.

[Anna]

Girl, are you dating?

[Dasha]

Have you tried blaming yourself?

[Anna]

You should. That's great advice, actually, for anyone. It's like the Vincent Gallo Principle, again, you should always blame yourself and assume it's your fault unless you can detect other ways. That's how I live my life. And I. I have an amazing life, actually. Yeah, I have such a great life that my. I'm not as rich as I'd like to be, but my only New Year's resolution is, like, not saying, like, and literally all the time on this podcast.

[Dasha]

Exactly. No room for improvement here. Yeah, it's as good as it gets for the most part. And once we stop editing ourselves, we'll become more prosperous.

[Anna]

But, like, realistically, you just always should assume some. Like, okay, like, you shouldn't blame yourself, but if you're not getting along with somebody and hate their personality, then, like, you should consider the possibility that, like, you're not compatible and that you're annoying them somehow.

[Dasha]

And even if he pays for your hair and nails, it's not worth that.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And damn, I wish I was black. Not a lot of black collars this time, this time around, as far as I know. But maybe this one is. But no, I think for me at least, emotional regulation is something that is valuable in a partner.

[Anna]

Well, yeah, it's like the most valuable thing, actually.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Because you can count on them and depend on them.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

And you don't have to, like, live.

[Dasha]

In fear, like walk on eggshells.

[Anna]

And real compatibility is not like having great sex. It's having the similar reaction to things which leads to great sex.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Yeah. You don't want someone who's too timid either you want them, you know, or, like, dissociated. It's good to have some conflict, I feel.

[Anna]

Yeah, you want your boyfriend to be able to racistly abuse people in the.

[Dasha]

Proper moment, but if he's actually having full on, like, tantrums.

[Anna]

Yeah, that ain't good.

[Dasha]

I might. I'd consider maybe a different boyfriend.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

Okay, there's two more.

[Caller]

Hey, ladies. I just wanted to know what you both think about ghosting. I don't think it's a big deal when it happens to me or when I, you know, do it to someone else. So I just wanted to know what your take on it. What was that? What your take on it is. Thank you.

[Anna]

Wait, we've been over this before. Great question, by the way. Simple, brief.

[Dasha]

Yeah, easy.

[Anna]

It just sucks because we've talked about this at length before and, like, you have the best take on it.

[Dasha]

Huh? Whatever.

[Anna]

Which is like, ghosting is the correct and merciful thing to do at the outset of any.

[Dasha]

It's humane courtship. Yeah.

[Anna]

Not like four years in as, as first caller demonstrated. That's creepy and weird. But like when. Yeah, ghosting rules.

[Dasha]

I know.

[Anna]

Well, I've seen you should ghost people all the time.

[Dasha]

I've seen some like manosphere influencers who are doing like dating app content. They will talk about how women will send this. They call it like the HR department style text where you say like, hey, so I really had a good time, but blah, blah, you know, you like. And I think it's better just to go, so.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

Just vanish. Because the effect is the same.

[Anna]

What do you do? Here's a question that I imagine, like a lot of young people who are like in the dating sphere encounter. What do you do if somebody sends you a message like that?

[Dasha]

I ignore you.

[Anna]

Just ignore it.

[Dasha]

I'd ignore it.

[Anna]

And that speaks volumes. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah.

[Dasha]

I'm not gonna dignify something like that with like a response being like, no, actually it's totally cool. I was gonna send you the same day.

[Anna]

It's very presumptuous when you're like starting out and you go on an ill fated date and don't really like each other to like send a text two or three days later and be like. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Well, I think young people in general have such a hard time advocating for themselves. Yeah. That when they do go on these dates, you even if they have a bad time, they present like they.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

That's why people are so like baffled by being ghosted or by getting some like soft decline message. And it's because everyone's like pretending like they're having a good time.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And I think if you're on a date, you're having a bad time. Just make that known. Yeah.

[Anna]

Or just like. Yeah, you don't have to just rude or cruel way, but just like you can pop things up quickly.

[Dasha]

I think. Go rude and cruel. Just start acting mad weird confrontation on their way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anna]

So that way racistly abuse another patron of the bar or restaurant that you're.

[Dasha]

At, make some off color comments just so they know like where your head's at and then they won't be so blindsided. Yeah.

[Anna]

You like go on a date and, or like a, a racist and misogynistic nightmare and the other person instead of being like put off by it, like falls in love with you. Like, that was so base.

[Dasha]

But I think women in general, which I understand because like, yeah, if you are on a date, you don't want to necessarily signal that you're not Interested because you don't want to get, like, murdered or something. But.

[Anna]

Okay. But when they send, like, the HR department text.

[Dasha]

Mm.

[Anna]

I'm assuming it's because the man has queried them and has been like, hey, right?

[Dasha]

Or not.

[Anna]

Something like, out of the blue.

[Dasha]

Not. I think it's like a post one or two date custom in this country.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

And they. You think it's more humane than ghosting, but it's really not.

[Anna]

It's really not humane and merciful method. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Don't leave them, because the thing with the apps is that's crazy that people are on apps. You're just meeting people that, like, you wouldn't otherwise encounter.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

So you won't really see them again, and you don't owe them anything.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

They're just. They couldn't be more of a stranger. So you. Easy come, easy go, you know?

[Anna]

Yeah. Easy come, easy ghost. Exactly. I can't wait to, like, ghost all my friends and family for the holidays and be like, well, we. We determined it was okay on the podcast.

[Dasha]

Yeah, we decided.

[Anna]

Where are you? Where's my potluck?

[Dasha]

I've just vanished.

[Anna]

I'm starting a new life.

[Dasha]

Oops.

[Anna]

In landlocked Florida.

[Dasha]

I'm getting on Grindr.

[Anna]

I want sniffies now.

[Dasha]

Okay, here we go.

[Caller]

Hey, Anna. Hi, Dasha. I think I know the answer to this one, but I just want to hear you say it. Will it all be okay in the end? Let me know. Love you. Bye.

[Anna]

Yeah, playa.

[Dasha]

For sure.

[Anna]

Yeah, it'll be okay.

[Dasha]

Yeah, you'll be fine.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Or not. And even then, I think it'll be okay. What is it? It'll be okay in the end. And if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

[Anna]

You know, I was walking by the homeless encampment today that's, like, located in the allegedly luxury housing on my block that I don't live in, obviously. And there's a guy there who must be. I don't know, he must be, like, 29, 30, tops. Young guy, both legs missing, wheelchair bound. I was thinking, like, how do you get on that level when you're, like, 29? You ain't got no legs. Like, what did you have to do? Because he was definitely born with both legs.

[Dasha]

Maybe he's a veteran.

[Anna]

He's a drug addict who probably, like.

[Dasha]

Fell under our veteran before.

[Anna]

But I was thinking, like, you know that guy, Like, I saw him on the side of the road the other day, like, covered in his own piss and. And blood.

[Dasha]

Like, oh, my God, Anna.

[Anna]

Freaking out, like, screaming. And then, like, a week later, he was back at the encampment, like, super chill, clearly had a new shave, haircut, everything. So he's coming to our Christmas party.

[Dasha]

Having sex with him.

[Anna]

You guys, that's my boyfriend. No, but. Okay, he was.

[Dasha]

Remember that guy that called into the pond that had one leg?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And then he. We gave him some nice advice, and then he called in again that he was doing, like, sex tourism in Ukraine. We gave him, like, the confident. We emboldened. Yeah.

[Anna]

To. To be a rapist and murderer. Yeah. Our haters are right about us. But even so, like, think, like, that guy is fine. At the end of the day, of course it'll be okay.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

What's the worst that can happen?

[Dasha]

You die, Your son kills you and your wife. He has a schizophrenic break after years of volatile drug addiction. And even then, you know, in the end, remembered fondly in the fullness of time. For sure. And I'll be fine. Yeah.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dasha]

Well, great success. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas.

[Anna]

Happy Hanukkah.

[Dasha]

Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. Shabbat shalom. Merry Christmas. Kwanzaa. People don't talk about Kwanzaa enough.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's the one.

[Dasha]

I'll see you in hell.