Springtime Loveline w/ Dan Allegretto

Summary

Red Scare Podcast Summary: "Springtime Loveline w/ Dan Allegretto"

Episode Details:

• Title: Springtime Loveline w/ Dan Allegretto
• Hosts: Anna Khachiyan and Dasha Nekrasova
• Guest: Dan Allegretto
• Release Date: May 20, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with Anna and Dasha welcoming Dan Allegretto, their most requested guest. The hosts share personal anecdotes about how they met and reminisce about past experiences in Los Angeles, setting a casual and conversational tone for the show.

Notable Quote:

Anna [00:34]: "My favorite guest. Honestly, are we keeping them not just gassing you up?"
Dan [00:39]: "And the most requested guest."

2. Personal Anecdotes and Backstories

The trio delves into their personal histories, discussing their moves to New York, experiences in LA, and humorous incidents such as Dasha accidentally setting her travel bag on fire. These stories establish rapport and give listeners insight into the hosts' lives.

Notable Quote:

Dasha [03:09]: "I went... my bag caught on fire... all my good stuff got burned."

3. Listener Call-ins: Relationship Dilemmas

The core of the episode revolves around various listener questions about relationships, love, and personal struggles. Anna, Dasha, and Dan provide candid and often unorthodox advice, blending humor with sharp cultural commentary.

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a. Call 1: Boy Crazy and Intrigue Addiction

A listener expresses frustration over being "boy crazy," struggling to focus on goals due to incessant thinking about romantic interests.

Notable Quote:

Dan [07:34]: "She's boy crazy and it's... ruining her hopes and dreams."

b. Call 2: Starting a Family as a Gay Couple

A listener and her husband grapple with the ethical and practical challenges of having children, debating between adoption and surrogacy.

Notable Quote:

Dan [35:00]: "He's being so transactional... He's pricing the life of a child at a hundred thousand dollars."

c. Call 3: Navigating Breaks in Long-term Relationships

A listener seeks advice on handling her boyfriend's request for space and the implications of his willingness for her to see other people.

Notable Quote:

Dasha [68:42]: "You have to move on... he's breaking up with you 100%."

d. Call 4: Dealing with an Internet Famous Partner's Sexual Preferences

A listener discusses her relationship with a publicly known individual who has specific sexual preferences involving fetishization.

Notable Quote:

Dan [79:27]: "You should stop talking to him... He's leading you on."

e. Call 5: Parenting and Screen Time Advice from a Parent of Six

A mother with six children asks for guidance on managing her children's internet and social media use.

Notable Quote:

Dan [95:17]: "Only Asians care about screen time."

f. Call 6: Questions on Marriage and Societal Pressures

A listener reflects on her desire to get married, questioning whether it's driven by genuine feelings or societal expectations amplified by platforms like Pinterest.

Notable Quote:

Dan [116:48]: "You don't have to... just keep it under wraps unless you're trying to blow up your future marriage."

---

4. Host Interactions and Humor

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful banter, often mocking societal norms and expressing cynical views on relationships and personal growth. Their humor is sharp, irreverent, and unapologetically blunt, resonating with their audience's frustrations and disillusionments.

Notable Quotes:

Anna [05:34]: "There's people who are 18 and they've been listening since they were 14."

Dasha [08:29]: "You should use it to drive yourself forward."

5. Recurring Themes and Insights

• Cynicism Towards Modern Relationships: The hosts frequently express skepticism about the viability of long-term commitments in contemporary society.
• Critique of Social Norms: There's a consistent critique of societal expectations around marriage, parenting, and sexuality.
• Humor as Coping Mechanism: Humor is used as a tool to navigate and comment on personal and societal issues.

Notable Quote:

Dan [26:06]: "I've never even thought of that. But on the flip side, we do be dispensing good life advice."

6. Closing Remarks

While the transcript provided ends abruptly, the hosts begin to wrap up after addressing multiple calls, reaffirming their stance on the topics discussed and maintaining their characteristic blend of humor and critique.

Notable Quote:

Dasha [70:07]: "You're better off without him."

---

Conclusion

"Springtime Loveline w/ Dan Allegretto" encapsulates Red Scare's signature blend of cultural critique, personal anecdotes, and unconventional advice. The episode offers listeners a no-holds-barred exploration of modern relationships, infused with the hosts' distinctive humor and worldview. Notably, the advice given leans towards encouraging independence and skepticism of traditional relationship norms, aligning with Red Scare's broader cultural commentary.

Disclaimer: This summary condenses and paraphrases the original transcript to highlight key discussions and insights. Offensive language and derogatory terms used by the hosts have been rephrased to maintain compliance with respectful discourse standards.

Transcript

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Testing, testing.

[Dan Allegretto]

Hello.

[Anna]

Yep.

[Dasha]

Hello.

[Anna]

Welcome to Red Scare. Dan, Alex, we're live.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Anna]

It's great to be back.

[Dasha]

Thank you.

[Anna]

My favorite guest. Honestly, are we keeping them not just gassing you up?

[Dan Allegretto]

That's true. And the most requested guest.

[Dasha]

Wow.

[Dan Allegretto]

Eat your hearts out. Patrick Sandberg and Glenn Green. But are we keeping a tally of like the gay guys that have been.

[Dasha]

Not me. It's probably.

[Anna]

It's not a contest.

[Dan Allegretto]

But you guys are like neck and neck, I think. Well, he does. He's the one that introduced us.

[Anna]

That's kind of true.

[Dasha]

Oh yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

There would be no Red Spare without Dan Allegretto.

[Dasha]

Yeah. So.

[Anna]

So blame him.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

You're welcome. Yeah, I remember. I was with. I think if I remember correctly, I was with Anna at the now closed bar soft spot in Williamsburg and Dasha just moved to town.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I was like, this Russian is having people over. You might like each other.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is this other Russian?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, na na na.

[Anna]

And now Donald Trump's the president.

[Dasha]

And also I was just thinking because I was just in LA and it's been 10 years since Dasha. You and I met for the first time in person in 2015. We met in LA.

[Anna]

Really? Oh my God, that's so sad.

[Dasha]

Like you're dating the first guy ever hooked up with in college.

[Anna]

Yeah, I was dating a bisexual guy.

[Dasha]

Yeah, we were friends online before that on Twitter when I had like 86 followers. Yeah, we really go back.

[Anna]

We really do. Yeah, we met up at some like. I feel like it was like a Frito pie restaurant. It was some like corny bar.

[Dasha]

That was cuz you were in town.

[Anna]

For the art book fair.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wait, they have one too?

[Dasha]

I didn't go there for that reason, but I did end up at the art book fair.

[Anna]

Well, it was a scene. You couldn't miss it.

[Dan Allegretto]

I remember that Dan acts like he doesn't get out much, but he's always like jet setting to LA to go to.

[Dasha]

I've been to LA three times in my life and I. I really like LA now. I can actually see myself there.

[Dan Allegretto]

I just remember your horror story of like burning all your clothes by accident.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I went that 2015 trip. I. My travel bag was like a Nike vinyl like gym bag.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I know that people like had heat in la cuz it was in February and it was like for me it felt very hot.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

So I like left on like an open like heater grate and I was sitting on the couch in the living room in Echo park and my bag like caught on Fire. And it's, like, smoldering and, like, set up the fire alarm and it was like melted plastic and all my clothes got burned. And, you know, I was living like a dog then and still.

[Dan Allegretto]

Still living like a dog.

[Dasha]

You know, not out of the doghouse yet, but all my good stuff got burned, and it was like a. There's, like, a white dashiki I had earlier. I'm going to bring this to the west coast and really mince around Echo Park Lake.

[Dan Allegretto]

Was Arowana thing back then?

[Dasha]

I don't think it was. I hadn't heard of it then, but I ate every breakfast there.

[Anna]

This 15, I don't. I think maybe it was around. But I wasn't going there. I think I was going to Lassens.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I went to LA with, like, 300 and no credit card, so I was.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like, who was hosting you?

[Dasha]

My friend Signy.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, okay.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dan Allegretto]

I remember her. She was, like, an early feminist artist.

[Dasha]

Yeah. And she was dating a woman at the time. Actually, a really funny story.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay, go on.

[Dasha]

One of my classic, like, dial dance stories. I went to the Chateau Marmont for the first and only time, and I think that I was, like, you know, kind of not welcome at the table because it was like, these men wanted, like, two hot blonde chicks to be sitting with them. And, like, I was tagging along, and I realized I was sitting next to the director of Girl Interrupted. And I don't remember his name.

[Anna]

That's okay.

[Dasha]

But I was pretty drunk. And I was like, you ever think about calling it Chica Interrupted? And then he told me to leave. But, like, come on. That's funny.

[Anna]

Yeah, that's mad funny. God, we're so old. I know. Oh, my gosh.

[Dan Allegretto]

I know.

[Dasha]

I'm assuming there's a lot of young listeners calling you middle age.

[Anna]

There's people.

[Dan Allegretto]

I was thinking about this because it's, like, really bad to have us offer advice because we've, like. Yeah, we've, like, settled down, given up on our dreams and ambitions.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah.

[Anna]

I mean, these deal with themes like that. There was some good calls. I feel like it's. There's a good swath of, like, different callers. Having Dan is here is good.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Well, I wish there was, like, a geriatric caller, though. I'd love a geriatric hauler. But I'm assuming it's gonna be mostly.

[Anna]

There's people who are 18 and they've been listening since they were 14.

[Dan Allegretto]

I know. They're, like, in high school. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Maybe the reach is too far.

[Anna]

Yeah, you know, I'm like, oh, I.

[Dan Allegretto]

Feel like a pedophile. Like grooming children.

[Dasha]

Grooming a new generation. Yeah, yeah. Demented twinks and frantic skanks.

[Anna]

Sometimes there's like trad wives and weird Catholics that call into. It's like, it's fairly diverse.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. Sometimes you feel distinctly that you're being trolled. They don't really mean it.

[Dasha]

How many calls did you get in total? I'm just kind of curious.

[Anna]

Maybe like a hundred.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, that's not bad. I was going to say 200, maybe two.

[Anna]

Like, I don't listen. On Google Voice, they give you a little transcript so you can see. And then if the transcript seems good, then I'll listen to it. And then if their voice doesn't sound so bad. Yeah, then I'll listen to all of it. But sometimes I'm immediately like, there was an interesting D transition, like X trans person, but their phone kept cutting out.

[Dan Allegretto]

So I was like, this is so trans.

[Dasha]

Yeah. They didn't pay their cricket mobile bill.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're just like, I'm waiting on invoices. Here's my GoFundMe. A lot of the people who call in do have distinctly trans coded voices, whether or not they're actually trans.

[Anna]

Yeah. It's hard to tell who is gay or not, honestly.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Well, we'll get to the bottom of it, I think.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Should we dive in? Honestly, like, I don't have anything to say about.

[Caller 1]

Hey, red scare. I need help because I'm actually boy crazy and it's like ruining my life. I have so many goals and dreams and aspirations, but it's hard for me to focus on anything. For literally 247 hours of the day, I'm thinking about my current dogging stage, of which there is always one. I'm running through guys faster than Taylor Swift. I don't know how to stop. Please help me. Thank you.

[Anna]

I called this one boy crazy chica.

[Dan Allegretto]

She's boy crazy and it's. It's interrupted on her hopes and dreams and aspirations.

[Anna]

She's an Intrigue addict. That's why she's always having a talking stage.

[Dasha]

I think she hasn't found that people aren't really that intriguing.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, she sounds young.

[Dasha]

She sounds young. I don't want to like, pathologize her and suggest like sex and love Addicts Anonymous, which is something I only learned about like two years ago, basically.

[Anna]

I was probably when we met in 2015.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That'S where I learned about Intrigue addiction.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I mean, I guess just keep spinning Your wheels in the mud and you'll like maybe get out of the.

[Dan Allegretto]

Rut or I mean you'll just grow old.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And you'll become fed up with people and their. And also being boy crazy is like a good inspiration from which to make art and follow your dreams.

[Anna]

Yeah. I think you should use it to drive yourself forward.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should never like fight too hard against your natural state.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Because then you're gonna become neurotic and you don't want that.

[Anna]

I get like a talking stage. You know, you're kind of your best self.

[Dan Allegretto]

What's a talking stage?

[Anna]

It's like when you are talking to someone to see if you want to them or date them. You're b.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like, you know, that can go on forever in this day and age.

[Anna]

Yeah. But like, you know, the banter, you know, it seem I feel like you are honing skills through like.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Running through math, learning how to run game. And they'll. That'll serve you well.

[Dasha]

Yeah. She's developing social skills. She might not know she's even. It might help in like her career.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

If you know how to like manipulate men, it could help in the work.

[Dan Allegretto]

If you learn how to manipulate a job.

[Dasha]

I'm not sure life is like a.

[Dan Allegretto]

Free ride because then you can manipulate gallerists and producers and creative director and whatever.

[Dasha]

I need to manipulate galleries now because they don't have drinks at openings anymore. So you have to like know the gallery. Like, can I get a flash?

[Anna]

Hey, I noticed you had a Modelo. Is there back.

[Dan Allegretto]

Back when we all started hanging out. They had the dumpster full of PBRs. They don't even have that anymore.

[Anna]

There's no recession indicator.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

There's no reason to leave the house anymore. Well, besides coming on Red Scare podcast.

[Anna]

Here'S a good followup on that.

[Caller 1]

My question is more so for Dasha since she's bedridd much like me. How do you find love?

[Dan Allegretto]

Like, obviously I'm hot.

[Caller 1]

I'm Slavic and blonde. But I hate leaving my apartment. Like I paid $3,000 for my mattress. I'm getting my mileage out of it. I'm just wondering like, is it possible to find a rich, educated, well read, non Indian man from my bed? Let me know. Love you guys.

[Dasha]

She sounds like Sherry o' Tear in that old SNL when she's like, where did you. Where did you run into Will Smith? Where did you run? And then Chris Roy's like, over the weekend, you stupid.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should consider getting your mental illness addressed before you find the.

[Anna]

The love of your life also.

[Dasha]

I'm sorry. Any kind of 3K for mattress? Yes. It's a little pricey, but.

[Anna]

You're forcing her mattress.

[Dan Allegretto]

Mattress. I thought she said a Masters.

[Anna]

No, no, her mattress.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay. Yeah, Well, I understand now why she doesn't want to leave her bed.

[Anna]

My mattress costs $17,000.

[Dasha]

You can lowball that. Okay. Wow.

[Anna]

But I believe I got a little bit of a discount on it by being like. No, I was. I wrote a really, like, the most annoying email I've ever written where I was like, I'm not a publicist, though. I play one on HBO's Succession, and I would love nothing more than to lie my head upon your exquisite mattress. And I thought they'd be like, here you go. But they were like, we'll give you, like, some percentage off if you post about it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is it made out of tortured horses?

[Anna]

No, no, no, no.

[Dasha]

I was thinking of, like. Didn't, like, Caitlin Phillips give you her.

[Anna]

She had. I was subletting her apartment, and she had one, and so I started sleeping on it, and then I was like, well, I'm not just gonna get a Casper now.

[Dasha]

You can't go back to cast. Yeah.

[Anna]

I just need this, I guess. But I am.

[Dan Allegretto]

When I was dating Mike Pepe, he had a Casper, and it was so janky and, like, weak, and it just, like, sagged on the side that he was on because he was a large and heavy man. I would just roll off.

[Dasha]

I'm gonna push back on you on this. I've had two Caspers. One I just left behind, like, I. Like the normal one. And then when I moved to Greenpoint seven years ago, I bought the, like, college freshman. Like, they. They made, like, a really cheap one that's, like, kind of thin. I've had it for seven years, and I'm, you know, perhaps, like, a touch overweight. And it has.

[Dan Allegretto]

That you're sleeping on, like, the military bed?

[Dasha]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's, you know, maybe half the size of a normal mattress, but it hasn't, like, made a dent in.

[Anna]

What do you mean? Like, in thickness?

[Dasha]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

It's not like a twin. It's full.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

There's no one. There's no one with me.

[Anna]

So it's just.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, that's why there's not a second person in the bed. So there's not an uneven distribution of weight.

[Dasha]

You kind of rotate. I flipped it around a few times.

[Anna]

Oh, yeah.

[Dasha]

A couple years.

[Anna]

But Hastings comes, and these guys come and put little booties on and jump up and down on the. Flip it over and jump up and down on it for free. For every six, four, Six months they come and fluff it.

[Dasha]

Four months.

[Anna]

If I want, I have to like schedule it so I don't.

[Dan Allegretto]

Seems like a job for Doge.

[Dasha]

I could do that job. That would be great.

[Anna]

That's what you get. That's when you're. When you're paying top tier prices for a bed you're not leaving.

[Dasha]

If you're allergic to horses, can you still get the horse hair bed?

[Dan Allegretto]

Who's allergic to horses?

[Dasha]

I think I am because I was.

[Anna]

Like, I don't even really get.

[Dasha]

Growing up in rural upstate New York. Like my friend's mom had like a horse farm, but like riding horses where I grew up wasn't like it is in like Westchester or like the Hamptons. It's like, okay, a little more Podunk. Yeah.

[Anna]

Yellowstone.

[Dasha]

But we were like playing like hide and go seek and I. My throat closed up and I had to like have my mom pick me up and like go use my grandma's inhaler. I was gonna die. So maybe there's like a hay or her. You know, I'm not sure I'm the market for $17,000 mattress right now.

[Anna]

Me neither.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay. But I'm gonna bogart this question and give advice to this girl.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like, you need to leave the house. Just make to find love. Yeah. It's actually really easy to find love if you leave the house.

[Dasha]

You know, I wish that people didn't wear headphones at the grocery store because I, you know, yes, you can meet someone like at a bar or something. But I do feel like there should be like a little bit of daytime like horniness and fantasy. But like everyone's wearing their AirPods at Trader Joe's and I like see like a cute guy and I'm like, they're not. They're just like listening to like Red Scarecrow.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're listening to the Adam Friedland show.

[Dasha]

Listening to me being like, I went to LA once. Good time. I like it there a lot.

[Anna]

I think you don't have to get out of bed that much. You can find love online.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That you can. But you have to. You're right. You. In fundamentally, you do have to get out of bed a little bit.

[Dan Allegretto]

You just have to have the will to force yourself to take some initiative.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And then everything will fall into place. And then you're gonna be like sorely disappointed. But that's okay.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I mean, it's not going to fall into place. We do still need to get out there regardless.

[Dan Allegretto]

And that's a good talking point with future men that you meet because you can tell them that you have a three thousand dollar mattress.

[Anna]

Don't get out of bed. But when you do, you're looking for love often.

[Dasha]

Do you guys wash your sheets?

[Dan Allegretto]

That's a good question. Do you go first?

[Dasha]

Me?

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. I'm not answering.

[Dasha]

I'll be honest. Like two months.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's not bad.

[Dasha]

Probably three. I don't know. I actually don't know.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's hard to strip your sheets.

[Dasha]

Only if I only change my sheets if I think that someone might be coming over and then it ends up like not going well and then they never come over. So I'm like. Well I guess that's. That's when I. Every three months, two weeks.

[Anna]

But not the. Not the duvet but the flat. And I change sometimes I'll change the pillowcases more often. Often because I'm acne prone.

[Dasha]

That's good of you Miss Anna. What are you. What are you clocking on that?

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't change my.

[Dasha]

She doesn't change the sheets. Yeah. Well like I feel like women don't sweat the bed. Like.

[Dan Allegretto]

No.

[Anna]

Yeah. Well I do. I life partner. By the time this episode comes out, he'll be my husband.

[Dan Allegretto]

Married.

[Dasha]

I got really excited today when there was like a. An email that came out kind of detailing the wedding.

[Anna]

Oh yeah.

[Dasha]

Party. And I heard. I saw the words pasta station.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And open bar. And I smiled for the first time.

[Dan Allegretto]

In days since 2015.

[Dasha]

I can't wait to fall over on top of the pasta station.

[Dan Allegretto]

And we're gonna be so drunk.

[Anna]

It's. The drinks are really stiff.

[Dasha]

I'm gonna keep.

[Anna]

I can't finish like a martini there. It's. They're strong. That's why I did the. Cuz I'm not doing a dinner. Cuz no one likes it anyway.

[Dasha]

No. And people like to. I like to.

[Anna]

But like a socialized dance. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Being seated at a table. So like charity event or something.

[Dan Allegretto]

And like here's your stupid food that wearing.

[Dasha]

I have one suit. It's a black Brooks Brother suit that I got for 50 off at the long Island Deer Park Tanger outlet malls a couple years ago. So it's good for weddings and funerals.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And I went back again and bought a white button up shirt and a black tie. So I. And I'm wearing my Doc Martin oxfords. They don't have yellow stitching. Don't worry, I'm not Worried, so you have to keep it real a little bit, but yeah. Yeah. Limo driver. Like I always do when I wear a suit. I always look like a limo driver.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like a salad.

[Dasha]

It's kind of like bald, like.

[Anna]

You're going to look great giving.

[Dan Allegretto]

Lex Friedman.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Don't know who that is off top of my head, but I.

[Anna]

You'd know him if you familiar of the name. You've seen his face.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Okay.

[Anna]

Videos that you probably don't E. Anna.

[Dasha]

Well, I. Again, I don't want to know what Dash is wearing. But, Anna, you're going to wear.

[Anna]

Wearing a wedding dress.

[Dasha]

Yeah, white.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wear a white wedding dress. I already told you guys, I might recycle my new Criterion gala dress.

[Dasha]

Right. What is the new criteria? Is there an old Criterion?

[Dan Allegretto]

No. The New Criterion is a conservative leaning magazine that was founded by two art critics called Roger Kimball and James Pinero. And they write books such as the Rape of the Masters and Speak in Purple prose. But it's interesting and fun.

[Anna]

We go every year.

[Dasha]

I just started thinking about Campbell's soup and Panera. Sorry. Happy for them. Looked like a, you know, lush evening. It's a.

[Anna]

It's a. I. I hope I go. I hope they keep inviting me.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's.

[Anna]

I love.

[Dan Allegretto]

I love anything bad about.

[Anna]

I love a hot meal. You know, it's that you. When I. I saw the new Criterion at my friend Janine's house, I said, what is this beautiful magazine? And she said, my dad sends me this subscription. And I said, I want to ingratiate myself.

[Dan Allegretto]

Never write these people. But I own it.

[Anna]

I crack it open sometimes. But last time I did, I got scared. There were. There was like. There was some article that quoted Camp of the Saints, and I got scared about migrants and really upset, so. Love it to death, but it's beautiful. It's a nice object. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I mean, I don't read, so I.

[Dan Allegretto]

I like feeling like we're, like, the youngest people there.

[Dasha]

Yeah, it did look like a bunch of old people.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I saw one Asian woman in the crowd photo.

[Anna]

It's the older crowd, so that's fun for us because we get to feel young.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Are there any colognes that you guys like for men to wear on dates? Thank you.

[Dan Allegretto]

You don't want to hear my answer to that question?

[Anna]

Why?

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, because I like disgusting, cheap scents.

[Dasha]

Big little Drakkar Noir.

[Anna]

Noir.

[Dan Allegretto]

I was gonna. That was what I was gonna go with. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Do you like how I smell?

[Anna]

Yeah, just very much. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's nice. It's.

[Dasha]

To Me, it's like equal parts like goth nightclub, fog machine, and like church. It's my nighttime fragrance. It's kind of.

[Dan Allegretto]

I have a question.

[Anna]

I like an oud. I like the calm wonder oud.

[Dan Allegretto]

And you can't go wrong with calm.

[Anna]

You can. I'm sick of the Avignon. That's the one that really smells like a ch.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I've had a sample of that and it's. It reminds me of being an altar boy too much. But that's just my.

[Anna]

It's really.

[Dan Allegretto]

Were you ever molested?

[Dasha]

No, but, like, I'm kind of mad. I wasn't. That was so beautiful.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And my priest, like, ran off with his 16 year old girl when I was an altar boy and never came back.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm like, well, at least he wasn't gay.

[Anna]

Well, the Ukrainian Dan is a Byzantine Catholic, much like myself.

[Dasha]

Dodge has been trying to be me for years.

[Anna]

I know I've copied Dan, actually.

[Dan Allegretto]

But their priests are downstream of Dan.

[Dasha]

Yeah. No, I mean, we'll find out eventually. I've been pounding the pavement for years with no recognition whatsoever.

[Anna]

But they have married. They have married priests.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, in the Eastern.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dan Allegretto]

So they're not.

[Anna]

So they're not homos molested because there wasn't a drunk Irish celibate guy.

[Dasha]

Oh, well, we only had one priest that was married my entire tenure. Like, you know, I. I think I left the church quote, unquote, when I was like 16ish. I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm trying to get like up on a Saturday night with my friends. Like, I can't go to church at like seven.

[Anna]

It's tough. Yeah. To make it to. To fulfill the Sunday obligation. I get it.

[Dasha]

I've been drinking wine since I was like seven years old. It was like a cube of bread on like a little tiny gold spoon.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And I was like an altar boy standing next to the priest with like the Rapidia. The, like metal.

[Anna]

Oh, yeah.

[Dasha]

And I would just like, look into the Rapidia and I would just look into every elderly person's mouth. I'm like, this is actually.

[Dan Allegretto]

This is like the new criterion.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Like immigrants with like, barely any teeth.

[Dan Allegretto]

And like, I think like, men also, like, don't even need to wear cologne because.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

We're all boy crazy and we like the natural body odor.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I agree with that. I don't.

[Dan Allegretto]

If you like sweater card Noir. Yeah.

[Dasha]

It gives me a little more pep in my step. It kind of like invigorates me a little bit and makes.

[Dan Allegretto]

So we had this comedian on the last pod called Charles Carroll who's, like, involved with mde, and he brought his wife, and she said that spraying yourself with perfume causes estrogen dominance, which I don't even know what that means. But it's bad.

[Dasha]

It's bad.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Perfume is estrogenic. Allegedly. But we don't. We don't care.

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Dan Allegretto]

Life is all about trade offs. And it makes. It does really put a little pep in your step and make you feel better about yourself.

[Dasha]

It makes me feel more, like, presentable.

[Dan Allegretto]

For the world, professional.

[Dasha]

But I'm feeling like that's why I'm wearing, like, a collared shirt today. I'm like, oh, yeah. So despondent and, like, miserable. I have to, like, put something on that makes me wait.

[Dan Allegretto]

Dan, what's your shoe today? Not the Teva?

[Dasha]

No, they're the black Doc Marten oxfords that I'm gonna wear to the wedding.

[Anna]

Nice.

[Dasha]

I only have, like, one pair of shoes that doesn't smell like my feet, and I'm like, no one has to take my shoes off because the dog.

[Dan Allegretto]

Martens are so, like, full of microplastics that they defy, like, human odor.

[Dasha]

Okay, do one more and maybe.

[Caller 1]

Hey, do y' all think it's a red flag if a guy listens to Red Scare? Like, would you date someone who was a listener?

[Dasha]

A goodbye, kinda.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, he's a gay boob.

[Anna]

It's a red flag.

[Dasha]

Yeah, it's just like, not like, you know, I know men, straight men listen to the pod, God bless their hearts and souls. But it's too, like. I think the listening experience for them must be, like, a little too, like, horny. And they're probably attached to both of you, and so they're like, by nature cheating on whoever they're dating by listening to the pod.

[Anna]

If my. If there was another podcast, like Red Scare and my boyfriend listened to it, it would. It would piss me off.

[Dasha]

I agree completely. Yeah, I'd be so true.

[Dan Allegretto]

I've never even thought of that.

[Anna]

But, yes, I would. Def. I. Yeah, I'd be so bitter.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, you'd be like, why are you so parasocially invested in these other women who you don't even know and have nothing in common with? What's wrong with you?

[Anna]

Even a casual listener, I'd be like, what are. What are these? Who wants the women talking for two hours? Yeah, what's wrong with you?

[Dasha]

Two hours? Plus there's something wrong.

[Dan Allegretto]

But on the flip side, we do be dispensing. Good life advice.

[Anna]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dan Allegretto]

I feel like that any man who listens to the podcast really knows what he wants in a woman.

[Anna]

I think a smart man would listen to the podcast but not show his cards. He would use it strategically.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're not that smart.

[Anna]

To gain insight into the female psyche but never tell anyone you listen to it. Be like, oh, what's that?

[Dan Allegretto]

This is something we would do but would not occur to men.

[Anna]

Well, there's some advice.

[Dasha]

Barstool sports fans.

[Anna]

There's probably some crossover.

[Dasha]

Who is that?

[Anna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just know lots of sports stats.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

What about a gay guy?

[Dasha]

That's fine.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's fine.

[Dasha]

It's different. The rules are different.

[Anna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dasha]

I would.

[Dan Allegretto]

If he's gay.

[Dasha]

Often where gay guys are, like, it's kind of like a secret. They're like, I listened to Red Scare and I heard you on the pod. I'm like, oh, now I'm locking in. Because, like, you get. Get it.

[Anna]

There's a frame.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That you can.

[Dasha]

And I'm open to, like, I guess, anything. Yeah, yeah. There's a certain edge you guys have. I don't know if you knew that.

[Anna]

Yeah. You might watch. Watch out.

[Dasha]

So I do appreciate when a gay guy's like, I don't like your ain't scared, but not too. They can't like it too much.

[Dan Allegretto]

Not wear perfume or cologne. And he should not listen to podcasts, period. Unless it's like, Joe Rogan or something.

[Anna]

Men have podcasts. Yeah. They don't.

[Dan Allegretto]

They have, like, Theo Vaughn.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Dan Allegretto]

Maybe Jordan Peterson, but not even.

[Dasha]

I don't mind if they listen to, like, historical podcasts or nothing. That's, like, entertaining. If you're laughing at a podcast. I think it's gay.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's gay. Yeah.

[Dasha]

You're gay.

[Dan Allegretto]

It gives you the ick.

[Anna]

I kind of think. Yeah. I actually think straight men who don't listen to Rogan are a little bit.

[Dan Allegretto]

Of a red, red flag now. You're right. Yeah.

[Anna]

Because it's kind of like, oh, what do you. You know, where do you get your information?

[Dan Allegretto]

True.

[Anna]

Some esoteric source.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like I told you in the last one, I only listen to Rogan because a man put me up to it in the car. Like I would. That's not a podcast that I'm naturally inclined to listen to as a woman.

[Dasha]

No. I've only listened, like, the Miley Cyrus. Cyrus episode. Some of the UFO guys I like.

[Anna]

He needs to get a dinosaur truth around there.

[Dasha]

Well, you're looking at him.

[Anna]

I think I Know no one.

[Dasha]

Joe, Come on.

[Dan Allegretto]

You guys would get along.

[Anna]

Yeah, but he loves the bones. I think he's probably hostile.

[Dan Allegretto]

He believes in dinosaurs.

[Anna]

I would be willing to bet he does. Yeah.

[Dasha]

I find that most people do. However, it's just people have been wrong over the course of history about a lot of stuff.

[Anna]

There's a new Jurassic park movie coming out and I saw the trailer for it and I was like, yep. I'm like, it's made up for kid. Like how do people think like everything people think they know about dinosaurs.

[Dan Allegretto]

Charlie xcx.

[Anna]

Some female. Oh, Scarlett Johansson. And she's a little, she's like, look, she plays like a kind of bulky herb character, which is brave.

[Dasha]

Okay, so ScarJo's eating good lately. I didn't, I didn't see the trail.

[Anna]

No, she doesn't look fat. She just looks like, you know, like she's got, she's like strong and she's willing to go into the dress like.

[Dan Allegretto]

That Civil War with late career Kirsten Dunst where she looks unlike her usual self. And people were commenting because she's like.

[Anna]

A weary, you know, photograph journalist or whatever.

[Dasha]

I love that movie.

[Anna]

I didn't see so I've never seen it.

[Dasha]

I mean that was like a kind of my perception was like a zombie movie but like had like tense like political edge and most people were upset that it like didn't like take sides and it wasn't like like. Well, we don't know like what this is really about. Not that smart. It's just like thrilling and like scary and sometimes I like that Chris or Kirsten Dunst looked like a normal person but then she kind of got snatched right after that, I think.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Oh, zembic was like rolling out. Well, she has her husband too. Yeah, I'm sure she does. I've never noticed them.

[Dan Allegretto]

There are photos going around on the Internet.

[Anna]

You can see that online. And she has depression, which I always.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I mean you can tell when she.

[Dan Allegretto]

Was like playing herself in melancholy.

[Dasha]

She tapped into home tour and she was like giving it to her house and she seems so morose and I was like, I couldn't love her more. Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

I get served a lot of Kirsten Dunst content on Instagram. It's like her and like a low rise skirt.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

With like Jake Gyllenhaal smoking outside of like glassons or whatever. And you can, you can really tell that she's leaning into the depression.

[Dasha]

She's one of us.

[Anna]

She is. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Really?

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. We would all get along totally Slavic Excellence.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Dunn sounds like German German, but I think she.

[Dan Allegretto]

But she looks like. Okay, I'm gonna spur out. She looks like a ball toyed.

[Anna]

She does.

[Dasha]

What's a Balto? Like someone that looks like a Baldwin family member. But is everyone watching the ball?

[Anna]

Her father's German from Hamburg and her American mother is of German and Swedish descent. And she described herself in a 2001 interview as Aryan, like a Swedish milk maid.

[Dan Allegretto]

She is based.

[Anna]

Self described Aryan Garrison Duns.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I would say that much anymore. She had some like Latvian or Lithuanian blood. Yeah, just putting that out there because she looks so Slavic.

[Anna]

I bet she veers central European. Yeah, she might be Ruthenian even.

[Dasha]

Okay, someone's phone is very loud.

[Anna]

It's my computer. Oh, Trump's texting me.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, McDonald Shy. You're getting married.

[Dasha]

To offset the terrace. I need $5.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

Hi, ladies, My name's.

[Dasha]

We're not going to give my name.

[Caller 2]

But long time listener, first time caller. I have a question for you about having a baby. Me and my husband have been together for eight years now. He's 32, I'm 27. And we want to have kids, but we have a little bit of a confusion on it. I'm wanting to adopt because I think it's wrong for two gay people to create a baby like serum vitro fertilization without, you know, it's trying to create a baby without having a mother in its life. And that's just kind of selfish. And also I think it goes against God to like create children in a tube. I just don't think it's natural. And I'm also worried about the whole like having soul thing. He wants to do surrogacy because where we live there's. In Canada, in our province, there's only like 80 adoptions a year and that's a fairly limited number. And those adoptions are only like late term pregnancies from women who don't know and they're coming from pretty awful situations. And yeah, long story short, he doesn't want to have a crack baby.

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't blame him.

[Caller 2]

So I'm sympathetic to that. So what do we do here? Because we could do international adoption to the US but that's like a hundred thousand dollars. And not that money's a problem, but like a hundred thousand dollars for a kid? Come on.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay.

[Dasha]

They cost less.

[Caller 2]

We can't really adopt anywhere else because we're gay. So like I could go to China and like with one of my girlfriends and like, you know, secretly adopt the baby. Through there. But, like, yeah, I don't know what to do. Love you guys lots. Please give me some good advice. Bye.

[Dan Allegretto]

Can't you just knock up one of your hugs?

[Dasha]

Just like, get a pack of dogs to take care of.

[Anna]

Yeah. Why is he opposed to surrogacy?

[Dasha]

It is.

[Anna]

I mean, no, I mean, in like, the tradition in that sense, but like, technically getting one of your gal pals, whatever, is a type of surrogate.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, but then she's like, kind of a de facto mother. She's a mother.

[Dasha]

Can you imagine? But like, that. Imagine, like, the expectation that, like, a woman would just, like, know that she's gonna give birth and, like, not be attached to the baby and want to give it away. Like, I don't think you can.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I know. That's why I'm such a surrogacy hater, because it's so bizarre. Like, if you carry a kid for nine months, like, there's no way that you're not attached to it and then you have to go back to your normal life, but, like, with a distended gut and all these health problems from giving birth, but you don't even have the kit. Like, you don't get the payoff.

[Anna]

There's got to be some hag who'd be willing to do it and, like, be. Who doesn't want to be a full time mother.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I don't even think he should have. He shouldn't even have kids because he's, like, pricing the life of a child at a hundred thousand dollars.

[Anna]

The money's. No. Not an issue.

[Dan Allegretto]

I know, but he's being so transactional about it.

[Dasha]

I'm a little old school in the sense that, like, I forget that gay guys even have a. An intuition to have children. Like, I went to Provincetown last summer and I, like, got out of the car and I. Next door, there was like, two, you know, affluent gay guys and they had like, two kids getting out of their, like, Audi station wagon. I was like. I, like, almost clutched my pearls. I was like, wait, y' all are doing that? Like, how do you, like, know? I know, I just don't.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, I don't know.

[Dasha]

I mean, I get it totally. But I am, like, always like, well.

[Anna]

Because they want, they want kids, something. Like, people want something.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, People have, like, a primal urge to replicate. But then adoption doesn't really solve.

[Dasha]

Surprised the gay guys have that because I see, like.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I'm also.

[Dasha]

Gay guy behavior is so decrepit and crazy that, like, the, like, baseline for gay guys is that you're just like a piece of meat. Slam pig. So when they're like advocating for their rights as parents, I'm like, oh, I kind of forgot.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's like the whole like right wing talking point that like gay guys shouldn't have children because they're all pedophiles who are grooming the kids into molestation. I don't even think it's that.

[Dasha]

I don't think so.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not that. It's worse than that. It's not. They're not. They're not pedophiles.

[Anna]

They're narcissists.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're narcissists. They're unfit to be parents.

[Dasha]

Or they might be too fit. And then it's like, yeah, helicopter by babes.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, but it's. But on the other hand, I don't know what advice to give this guy because on the other hand, I think there's a lot of children who need parents and two dads is better than no parents.

[Dasha]

I think adoption would be the way to go.

[Anna]

It's the most ethical.

[Dan Allegretto]

But the thing with adoption is like you, you really, truly never know what you're gonna get because everything is so genetic.

[Anna]

Right. You might get a adult dwarf pretending to be a child.

[Dasha]

Do you not get to meet the kid before you.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, of course you don't. You're not. You don't know what the kid. I mean, arguably, if you even have the kid biologically, you don't know what the kid is going to be like, but it's like a real crapshoot. So it's like a, A thorny issue how to advise gays.

[Anna]

And they don't really let them, like foster.

[Dan Allegretto]

Can't you enjoy your friends, kids in a non sexual manner? Sorry, that sounds really bad.

[Anna]

Yeah. Why not be a gay uncle again?

[Dasha]

Don't get some dogs, cats, maybe like barnyard animals. You could. Those chickens, they don't really care.

[Anna]

I mean, one of you's. Yeah, it's either adoption, which is the most ethical. One of you knocks up a willing female who's not financially coerced.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, I would not go the surrogacy route. But also I do know gay guys who have like children through surrogates and they seem like, fine.

[Dasha]

It could be fine.

[Anna]

I mean, if they have been in a relationship for eight years. That's all right. You know, they're already.

[Dasha]

Wait, now hold on, let's do the math because like the caller was like 27. 27. They've been released for eight years. He was 19. Oh, wow. That's. You are, you are the child you're being raised by.

[Anna]

I mean that's not a bad life for a kid.

[Dan Allegretto]

No.

[Anna]

Having a nice like affluent gay, two gay dads, cultured, you know, they'll give, they'll have, they can live in New York City, they can have a nice life.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm gonna be skewer.

[Dasha]

I want that for me now.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, but like I don't think that the vast majority of gay guys who want to have a kid are pedophiles who are trying to groom their kid. That's like obviously not true.

[Anna]

That's. Yeah, that's something.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

No, I, I don't even think that you're right.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's going to, he's going to have a, or she is going to have a great life.

[Anna]

So why not? Yeah, why not? If money's not an option, shell it out for the. Shell out the $100,000 and make some kids dreams come true.

[Dan Allegretto]

Make a wish foundation.

[Anna]

Get a nice Russian orphan and well.

[Dan Allegretto]

They'Re going to get like a Chinese baby.

[Anna]

Well, he was saying they're going to.

[Dasha]

Go to China and maybe try to final.

[Anna]

He was saying he would go with, he would go with one of his female friends to pretend to be. Cuz they're, they don't hand Chinese babies out to gay people.

[Dasha]

Oh, right.

[Dan Allegretto]

But basically it's so like ethically fraught because no matter what you do, you lose. If you do the surrogacy, that's questionable. If you do adoption, that's questionable. There's no easy way for gay guys to reproduce.

[Anna]

I think adoption, if you can afford it.

[Dasha]

Then isn't adoption like is it, it's not free.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, it's extremely expensive.

[Anna]

Why is.

[Dasha]

I thought there was like trying to get these kids gambling with stuff.

[Anna]

Well, where's the money go?

[Dasha]

Well where are the children adopted? Are they in like an adoption in an orphanage? Orphanage, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

But you do have to think of like what your life is like if you're like a Chinese kid who's plucked from poverty and given to two affluent gay men in New York City.

[Anna]

Or Canada.

[Dan Allegretto]

Or Canada. True. You go to like little openings and happy hours and stuff and have a full time nanny and probably a dog friend that you grow up with. That's better than growing up in abject poverty in Wuhan. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Just walk by Klando and wait for an unattended baby and you can have to fly, baby.

[Anna]

Go to a wet market, they probably have something. Get a bat, make a nice soup, pangolin.

[Dasha]

Get a Direwolf, because they're literally cloning those now.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I know Dasha doesn't like the dire wolves.

[Dasha]

I have, like, the real.

[Anna]

They're not direwolves. They just look like.

[Dasha]

Surfaced in the northeast corner of Utah two years ago on Skinwalker Ranch.

[Dan Allegretto]

Excuse me.

[Dasha]

Well, this is like, did you hear.

[Anna]

This on a road?

[Dasha]

No, I. I watched the History channel show Secret of Skinwalker Ranch religiously. I think it's a fantastic show. Okay, so basically this. It's like a. There's a lot of Native American lore and there's so much paranormal activity in every kind of different area you can imagine. Like, they've basically been testing.

[Anna]

Why do they call it Skinwalker Ranch?

[Dasha]

Just real quick, because, like the Ute tribe, like, calls these like, shape shifting kind of shadowy figures like Skinwalkers. It goes back like hundreds of years. I can go on and on for hours in pertaining to direwolves. They're. During the filming of this latest season, there was a dead wolf in a stream that had been like, kind of like decomposing. And they noticed it was like much bigger than like wolves in the area by far. And they like took the jaw and they like, this is all in the show. And by the way, when I Google like just this episode. Hey, again, out of the game. So they took the jaw to, you know, scientists or whatever and like, the jaw is like so much like the. This part listeners can't see, but like it's twice the size of like any normal wolf. Like. Yeah, they're like, okay, we haven't seen this type of jaw in like 10,000 years.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's like a prehistoric wall.

[Dasha]

Yes. And so my thinking is it kind of traversed time.

[Anna]

There's like a portal.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I know it sounds a little out there.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay, so you don't believe in dinosaurs, but you believe in time traveling wolves?

[Dasha]

That is correct. 100%. They're fake. I'm sorry. Like, the first dinosaur bone was discovered in like the late 1700s in like England. You don't like the Mayas, Mayans, Incas, Aztecs, they're like digging into like the sides of mountains all the time. They didn't find a bone.

[Anna]

It's like, there's bones, but like, big dinosaur is lying to you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Like, even if there is some truth to dinosaurs, like the charade, the veil that's been pulled over our eyes is so thick that it doesn't. It's. It's all lies.

[Dasha]

And you know, once I, I made like, I started, you know, this was like over 10 years ago I was applying for like an art grant. I was like, I want to like make a one minute video about yourself. I'm like, I'm gonna pretend to be like a gay dinosaur truther. The first ever, I think. And it started off as kind of a joke. Then I like, every time I saw a news article that was about like a new dinosaur thing, I'm like, hold on. This is actually so fake and random and like, quite frankly that like, I can't get behind this.

[Dan Allegretto]

Maybe Donald Trump should take on big dinosaur next.

[Dasha]

I hope so.

[Anna]

Not to mention you should gut that bureaucracy. They don't mention them in the Bible. So.

[Dasha]

If you took all the earnings from like Jurassic park, we could probably fix this economy.

[Anna]

Oh. So, yeah, my last piece, just to circle back.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Is they should get these gay guys very high maintenance, exotic pet, like a.

[Dasha]

Monkey, parrot or a monk. Okay. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Or like for them because they want to mold.

[Anna]

I think a monkey could be really good for the, for them and like, they can make content with the monkey and you know, they might take them.

[Dan Allegretto]

Out of their province in Canada.

[Anna]

A monkey. Think, just think about it, cuz, like, what do you want a baby for?

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, have you guys seen the tik toks of like the monkey that like goes on children's playgrounds? I was talking about this a few episodes back and it wears like a snowsuit and goes down the slide. But it's like super agile. Like, it's like it has like superhuman strength.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

So you think it's a toddler, but it's actually a monkey.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

You've been like drunk at the playground, like accidentally taking a monkey. I have to go back now.

[Anna]

I see the monkeys wearing clothes. Yeah. And I.

[Dasha]

Gay guys have to start with like a komodo dragon tame that and then they.

[Dan Allegretto]

Python.

[Dasha]

Yeah. They have to have like a very vicious wild animal. And like, if they can pass that test, if they don't get mauled to death with their face clawed off, then.

[Dan Allegretto]

All gay guys should start life in prison.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Kind of.

[Dan Allegretto]

Until they prove that they're.

[Dasha]

Yeah, we'd make prison too nice. Then it wouldn't be the same thing. If that makes sense.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, I've been watching that. Somebody like added me on that like old Lil Nas X song where he's like, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay. And he's like, in prison.

[Dasha]

Wow.

[Dan Allegretto]

And it's so amazing. Why did we hate that?

[Anna]

I didn't always, like, I was hoping he was straight.

[Dasha]

Yeah. He's like beautiful.

[Anna]

Handsome.

[Dan Allegretto]

What happened to him?

[Dasha]

Well, he's still making music, but it just, like, really sucks. Well, his career start off with, like, old Town Road, which is, like, such a.

[Dan Allegretto]

Such a banger.

[Dasha]

Rand. It's. It's great, but it's so not. Where do you go from there?

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. He didn't know the heavily gay content, which was kind of like, too on the nose.

[Dasha]

Then he was like, I have to be like, devil in a music video.

[Dan Allegretto]

You really don't. Don't have to insist on how gay you are. We get it.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I love that shot of all the naked gay black eyes dancing in the prison shower. It's good.

[Anna]

I liked. He had a song called call me by your name or whatever.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Anna]

That was, like, pretty cool.

[Dasha]

There's some, like, decent imagery coming from him, but musically, I'm quite probably a little too old.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I was listening to Marvin Gaye a lot today because I just.

[Dan Allegretto]

Really so interesting.

[Dasha]

Well, because, like, I saw the Terrence Howard quote where he's like, I won't play Marvin Gaye in a movie because.

[Dan Allegretto]

I can't kiss him now.

[Dasha]

I would cut my lips off. And I'm like, I. I didn't really know Marvin Gaye was gay. Like, honestly. Also, his name was. No, I know he added the E to make his name sound less gay. But then also, there's so many other things. Like, I didn't know that his father shot him.

[Dan Allegretto]

Know that his father. No, that's like the. The.

[Dasha]

I didn't know that.

[Anna]

I didn't know.

[Dan Allegretto]

Only Russians.

[Anna]

Wait, what is it? His dad shot him.

[Dan Allegretto]

His dad, resentfully jealous, killed him.

[Dasha]

It was like a family argument. I think his dad was beating up his mom, and Marvin got in the middle. And then his dad shot him twice in the chest. He died, but his dad was a Christian minister who was also, like, a known cross dresser in, I think, Mississippi. I'm kind of just guessing, but, like, I think it's down there somewhere, which is shocking. And wait, I assumed.

[Dan Allegretto]

I assumed everybody knew this, but that's great. It is crazy that his own father.

[Dasha]

We don't know. I mean, can you. I. Yeah, I think there's probably a lot of cocaine and you're, you know, Tensions are high.

[Anna]

Yeah. A lot of pressure.

[Dasha]

Yeah. And then you're, like, getting a fight.

[Dan Allegretto]

And then you guys know. You know the famous painting by Ilya Repin of, like, Ivan the Terrible hold grasping his son after he killed him. You would know if I saw it.

[Dasha]

Yeah, we'd probably know.

[Anna]

Not the Jupiter or whatever eating is.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, no, not the Saturn.

[Anna]

That's like Saturn, right? Totally.

[Dasha]

Don't know. But, Anna, thank you for, you know, letting us.

[Dan Allegretto]

But it's actually.

[Dasha]

It's so like the 15.

[Anna]

I bet it feels.

[Dasha]

I think I might maybe know you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Guys know, but, like, yeah, killing your own son who's more famous and successful than you is an insane thing to do because why wouldn't you just, like, ride his coattails?

[Dasha]

When Lenny starts a podcast of 44, you're like, okay, yeah, sorry, that's too dark. That was too dark.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's gonna kill me first.

[Dasha]

It's late, we're drunk.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's just my child be wailing on me.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah, we, like, chipped a tooth recently, right?

[Dan Allegretto]

He chipped my tooth. He, like, beats the out of me.

[Anna]

He's a little tyrannical. He's a strong person.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, he does Aries.

[Dasha]

It's a good sign, though.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, it's good.

[Anna]

School of life vitality. Exactly.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Should I play one?

[Dasha]

Yeah, let's.

[Dan Allegretto]

Let's move on from the really sad story of Marvin Gay getting killed.

[Caller 1]

Love the pod. My question is how to approach a difficult conversation with my boyfriend. We've been dating for a few years, and I really love him and I want to get married. However, I haven't been totally honest about my past yet, and I do feel it weighing on me. When I was younger, at the encouragement of some seedy fellows that I knew, I got into doing some sugar daddying stuff, and it was mostly fine. I was just going to dinners and lunch and having fun conversations and getting money for it, and I really did like talking to them. However, there were a few that I did sleep with in exchange for some more money. Considering optics, I am nervous about having this conversation with him. He is very smart and he's a really good listener, so I think it's gonna go okay. But there's always the potential that he is, you know, disgusted or put off by it. It's also worth mentioning that while I was doing this, I was young and poor and on a ton of drugs. And unless I'm forgetting about something, it's probably the worst thing I've done in my life. So that's kind of why I want to get it off my chest. So I'm just wondering what you think about me bringing this up to him and maybe how you would go about it. Also, other people in my life do know about this, and so I want him to know that way. Like, if it's ever randomly brought up, he Isn't blindsided or, like, he isn't hurt by the fact that I didn't tell him. They don't know about, you know, me having sex. They just know that I got paid to have lunch and dinner with these guys. So that is all. Thank you, and I hope you guys are doing well. Thanks.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm gonna bogart this question and say under no circumstances ever mention it to him. Just keep it under wraps. Unless you're trying to blow up your future marriage or.

[Dasha]

Not a big deal.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not. It's not worth mentioning.

[Anna]

It's not that big of a deal. It's not worth mentioning. If other people in your life are out, you lead with the soft escorting.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. And if somebody says something to him.

[Anna]

Then say, oh, yeah, I didn't think.

[Dan Allegretto]

It was worth mentioning.

[Dasha]

And thankfully, you found a man that doesn't listen to Red Scare podcast. Hear this question. I've already found a winner.

[Dan Allegretto]

I know people get mad at me because they're always like, oh, you're always examining other people's ulterior motives when there are none. But, like, why would you ever want to bring that up to a man that you love and hope to marry? It's just not worth it.

[Dasha]

I think it's like, find it. Know everything about someone.

[Anna]

Yeah, sure.

[Dasha]

To me, like, girl, you know, when I was in Bushwick going to Bushwick University, a lot of my girlfriends, like, did this. It was always terrible.

[Dan Allegretto]

Everybody did it. Yeah.

[Dasha]

They would have, like, a dinner in Midtown, of course, before he got on the train back to, like, Westchester.

[Anna]

That's really the thing. Ubiquitous. Like, it's like.

[Dan Allegretto]

But she's been dating him for years, and she hasn't thought to bring it up until now.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Just about it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wonder how invested, committed she is to the relationship. Maybe she's trying to stir some drama, create some chaos. That's also. That's what I think.

[Dasha]

Interesting.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's my hunch here, potentially. Because otherwise you simply just, like, would not bring it up.

[Anna]

The fact. Which. I appreciate the calls, but if you're gonna call into a radio show and talk about it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You don't feel that bad about it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. You don't.

[Anna]

If the things you feel really bad about, you wouldn't. You don't talk about on the radio, and you definitely don't tell your boyfriend, and you just don't tell anyone.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. When you think about, like, all the rumors and you're lying about various people, it's like, very clearly people keep the things that they want to keep concealed close to their chest. Nobody ever reveals the most embarrassing aspects of their lives. Which is why Kanye's so brilliant for doing the whole, like, cousins is. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Incredible.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I don't know if you have any future hopes for this relationship, if you hope to get married, if you have any sort of, like, long term perspective. I would simply not bring it up and I would roll the die and risk other people maybe mentioning it to him.

[Anna]

But she said no one even knows that she did. Yeah. So literally, sex for money press the issue. Exactly.

[Dasha]

Right. It's already kind of barely worth mentioning in the first place. I feel like it's kind of like a given that, like, I'm assuming she's, like, attractive and like.

[Anna]

Yeah, obviously.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, but what. But like, you have to identify then what the real core issue is, which is possibly that you feel smothered and stifled in the relationship.

[Dasha]

Exactly.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's my read on it.

[Dasha]

That she can't be her full self around her partner.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And if, you know, part of her does feel guilt for it, then she needs to just move on. She needs to, like, repent and, like, let go of that. You can't, like, live with this as part of your identity. You have to kind of, like, transcend it and just get over it.

[Dan Allegretto]

People don't understand. Like, the whole point of guilt is that it's something that you live with and that you take on and that you cannot transfer onto other people because then it becomes shame and it becomes like a collective thing. And obviously any man worth his while, if he finds out that his girlfriend was an escort who was literally having sex for money, will not be down with that.

[Anna]

I mean, I don't think that's true. I think again, it's so prevalent. Well that you're hard pressed. And if she's like, you know what if she's a great. She's probably got other.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's a great way.

[Anna]

She's probably a great lay.

[Dan Allegretto]

Or like the Riley Reed thing where, like, she got married and had a baby and people were really bashing her and her husband. They were calling him a for like, marrying the most famous porn star in the world and being like a loser. And they were calling her a and whatever. I'm actually just like, happy for them that they had a happy ending.

[Anna]

But. Well, she still does porn.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, interesting.

[Anna]

But I think in her case, there's a heterosexual female porn star. Dan, if you don't know. I think she's very famous.

[Dasha]

I, you know, I log on to New York Post and then TMZ and then Page Six every morning. And so I think I've seen her name in the tabloids, but I feel.

[Anna]

Like with her, she's, like, such a.

[Dan Allegretto]

Steal one of your.

[Anna]

She's achieved such great heights in her career that she's, like, not. It's almost not even. She's not having sex. She's like.

[Dan Allegretto]

She's transcended porn.

[Anna]

She's an athlete. She's, like, doing something else.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, it's like, the whole, like. I think Chris Rock had a bit about how certain black athletes and celebrities transcend race. Like Eddie Murphy or, like, Michael Jordan or something. And she's, like, really one of those.

[Anna]

Figures who transcends gender.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, she transcends, like, everything.

[Dasha]

But she's not the one that, like, slept, like, a thousand guys.

[Anna]

No, no, she's more. She, like, has been around for a long time.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Dan Allegretto]

Even in porn, there's, like, a hierarchy of legitimacy.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Well, okay, so there's, like, two women that I don't know their names, but they're kind of like, going toe to toe.

[Dan Allegretto]

Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue.

[Dasha]

Yes, thank you. Dasha and Anna.

[Dan Allegretto]

We're trying to sleep with as many Jewish men.

[Dasha]

It's exactly like that.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Okay, now I get it. Well, you know, I just think it's. I. I don't think that, like, she's gonna rock the boat that much, but, like, unless.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I think she will.

[Dasha]

There's so much more information that we don't really have, and it seems like she knows that it would rock the boat, but I personally don't think that. Like, something like that, and you're.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's gonna feel betrayed and devastated. Maybe he'll take her back. But it's gonna be these arts, see.

[Anna]

And he doesn't care. Maybe they're in a bohemian milu, and.

[Dasha]

That kind of thing is finance partner, not bohemian.

[Dan Allegretto]

He was artsy.

[Dasha]

She would have let. That's probably how they would have mashed. Oh, actually, no. Fine.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, she would have spilled the beans already if he was. If she could sense that he was open to that, she would have already told him, because women be flapping their.

[Dasha]

Mouths, women yapping.

[Dan Allegretto]

So I just personally wouldn't mention it. Even though there's now a record of you going on Red Scare podcast and revealing your previous escorting career.

[Dasha]

Okay, get married, then. Tell him.

[Anna]

Yeah, yeah, just forget what it is. Like, a Don Draper says that. I think on Madman, he says, like, it'll. It'll shock you how much it never happened. Sometimes you gotta just go Don Draper mode and you know you gotta forget about your dark and twisted past.

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't understand. And you gotta forge forward to air their darkest secrets.

[Anna]

It's over.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's in the past. You've moved on.

[Anna]

Thank God. I don't remember most of my past. But also.

[Dasha]

Tell him. Tell him now. Tell him now.

[Anna]

Yeah, let us know.

[Dasha]

Yeah, let us know.

[Anna]

Call him up.

[Dasha]

Call. Call us back.

[Anna]

Call us back. We'll call him. Let us tell him. Okay.

[Caller 2]

Hi, Anna. Andra. I'm a 29 year old gay man who is politically moderate and generally what you would call a gay who doesn't slay. Two years ago I started a really gay work from home job that has kind of ruined my life. Me starting this job seemed to coincide with any dating prospects on Tinder and to totally dry up. And I saw a very palpable stagnation in my social life because I basically don't do anything that naturally exposes me to new people. I force myself to conjure up hobbies, but it really just isn't me. And it's gotten nowhere. I have approximately four friends who I love dearly. I'm privileged enough to live alone with my cat in a rent controlled apartment that my old teacher used to live in. Anyways, I recently have started to think that I should get a real job where I have to actually go work. But as pathetic as it is, a large motivation for me doing this other than to procure a higher salary, which is something I seriously need to do, is for me to make friends. Am I crazy to equate labor with a social and love life? How did you guys do it in the past? Anyways, I know this isn't the most direct question, but I thought it would trigger some interesting talking points. Maybe I'm wrong. Other details? I'm generally okay looking uncut, quite introverted and really hate non binary people. Thank you so much.

[Dasha]

Bye.

[Dan Allegretto]

What's the question?

[Dasha]

I can take this. I think he like thinks getting a job is gonna somehow make him get friends and romantic or sexual partners. Honey, there's nothing of the sore. It's like not even like you can't do that anymore. I don't think you can't like your co worker or your boss anymore. It's like unless you work at Trader Joe's.

[Anna]

My advice was like, yeah, you should get a part time job at Trader Joe's to suck and your co worker.

[Dasha]

After work you go to a gay bar for happy hour. And like gay guys are very social. You can like talk to people and meet them. It's like very easy. I made so many friends and lovers, quite frankly, in like the day, like the after, like the after work happy hour at a gay bar is he.

[Dan Allegretto]

Doesn'T even have a job.

[Anna]

This is great. Exactly. That's what you're saying.

[Dasha]

Work from home.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm saying you.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah. You know, I can wait till 5 to have a drink.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Even 7pm sometimes.

[Dan Allegretto]

It'S wine o' clock.

[Dasha]

Yeah, it's wine o' clock. But it's, it's, it's so casual and so easy to just go to a gay bar.

[Anna]

That's kind of what they're for. Yeah, they're literally, they're like designed well.

[Dan Allegretto]

Gay guys, like your friends are your lovers.

[Dasha]

No one's happy, no one's fulfilled. You just gotta put yourself in the arena and you know, see how it works out. And you can go with a friend or not. I just feel like gay bar happy.

[Dan Allegretto]

Hour, even for straight people. It's really easy to meet people at bars.

[Dasha]

Totally yourself in that position to just get out there and do it. Get out of your horse.

[Anna]

That's my advice to natural introvert. I get it, he's introverted.

[Dan Allegretto]

But it sounds like he's like he's creating mountains. That's also not true. No one's actually that introverted.

[Dasha]

No, no one is. No one's introverted. If you're introverted, you would never hear their voice on a pot. They're like, I'm an introvert and that.

[Dan Allegretto]

I need a lot of solo time to decompress and like digest. Yeah. Recharge. But ultimately, like, I derive all my pleasure in life from hanging out with my friends.

[Dasha]

I like to yap in a public forum. It gives me joy.

[Dan Allegretto]

It gives you something to look forward to.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Gives you something to do.

[Dasha]

As much as I like hear to say, I like to talk out loud too. It's just a give and take. Well, go to the bar, you idiot. What do you. What? Like, I mean, the real fact of.

[Dan Allegretto]

The matter is that he's afraid to go to the bar because he's, he fears that like rejection or failure. That's what it comes down to.

[Anna]

And he's in like. Yeah, kind of a haunted loop, I feel, of the working from home and the teacher's apartment and the cat and it's all like, you know, it's like you have to kind of.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Dan Allegretto]

But also.

[Dasha]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's like, oh, my teacher. Also rejection and failure is so overplayed. When you go out socially, you very rarely get rejected or Fail. That's just how it is. Actually. The sad thing that people want to cope about is that most people get along and like each other.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And they're just happy to be there.

[Dasha]

And getting rejected and getting rejected in person is so much easier than, like, kind of like this, you know, ghost on, like, a. An app. Like, talking to someone, they just, like, stop talking to you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

That's, like, so annoying because it's so unintuitive and so, like. Yeah, you're just, like, thinking so much about, like, this stranger, like, wondering where they're at while they're texting you. And it's like, why do I even want to. I don't want to do this.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And you can probably bet that the stranger is living a double life. I have so many girlfriends who are, like, on the app, and they're like, well, this guy ghosted me after, like, a productive week of, like, banter.

[Anna]

Cuz his mom came home.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. His mom came home. Or his w. His wife came home. Who's also his mom.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And it's fake. It's fake.

[Dasha]

We have to pee too. Okay, great. We'll take a bathroom break. Should we open the other bottle?

[Anna]

Yeah, sure.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm sorry. Drop on.

[Dasha]

Oh, really?

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay.

[Dasha]

I think we're not reading Wasted, which is good.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I'm, like, super wasted because I went to Eli's album release party at the title hq.

[Dasha]

It was. I thought it was just, like, a weird talk. He was.

[Dan Allegretto]

It was a weird talk. He was.

[Dasha]

We were talking.

[Dan Allegretto]

He didn't bang on the pots and pans.

[Dasha]

Then he should have worn like a.

[Anna]

You know, I love to smoke a joint and go to a Eli Kessler concert.

[Dan Allegretto]

Honestly, like, this is so conceptual.

[Anna]

When he played it, when he had the drawing show and played drums, I was super stoned and I was loving it. But, yeah, I had to go through the love lines. Sorry. A lot of my plate. Do we want a short one or a long one?

[Dan Allegretto]

Whichever. I mean, we're gonna get to them anyway, so.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Anna and Dasha. Recently, my boyfriend asked for two weeks of space to reconsider our relationship due to feelings of overwhelm, saying that we might have moved too fast or too confidently into this. And for reasons I'm a little ashamed of, I did agree to back off for the period he suggested, mostly because I like him so much and because of this one possibility that he's genuinely feeling overwhelmed and not just trying to prolong a breakup, even though this is exactly what it feels like. When I asked a Little bit about the logistics of this break. He mentioned that he won't be seeing other women, but that I could, quote, do whatever I wanted to. I felt really offended by this in particular because it does come off as very unprotective, very cold. And I don't know whether him saying that indicates an attempt on his part to alleviate some guilt for screaming the idea of a breakout.

[Dan Allegretto]

Sure does.

[Caller 1]

Or if it's indicative of, like, a lack of true romantic feelings for me. Honestly, all this leaning out and reaching for space feels pretty unromantic. But I guess my question is, if a guy you're in a committed, monogamous relationship with isn't disturbed by the idea of you sleeping with other people, is it over?

[Dan Allegretto]

Yes.

[Dasha]

Yep.

[Anna]

He's breaking up with you 100%.

[Dan Allegretto]

And you should really hate him because he's too cowardly to, like, do it.

[Dasha]

That's bitter and awful.

[Anna]

There's no way. He's feeling overwhelmed and needs a little space.

[Dan Allegretto]

There's no such thing as a break in a monogamy.

[Dasha]

She's gone even further to say that it seems like he's excited for her to, like, hook up with other. Yeah, like, move on.

[Dan Allegretto]

So he's, like, resentfully entertaining some fantasy.

[Anna]

I think he's probably maybe cheated on her plans too. And, like, is saying he won't be seeing other women, but obviously he's, like, taking some space. Cuz, yeah, you're better off.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's not seeing other women who just.

[Anna]

Like, doesn't like to.

[Dasha]

My intuition is telling me he's already fully in a committed relationship with another woman. He's like, no, you should move on now. And, like, actually, like, we'll take a break. But, like, you got to move on and, like, start other people. And then, like, then you'll meet my girlfriend in three months.

[Dan Allegretto]

I just want to say I'm sorry. Girl is no good.

[Dasha]

I'm so sorry also.

[Dan Allegretto]

And even if we're totally wrong, she's better off taking our advice.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

No, it's wrong. It's not. There's no way we're wrong. It's not. And it is. It's not.

[Dan Allegretto]

There's either way, no such thing as a break.

[Anna]

Either way.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's either break up or you don't a.

[Anna]

Or he doesn't care about you and both are bad.

[Dan Allegretto]

And you, like, literally do not want to ever be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't care if you other guys.

[Dasha]

That's psychotic. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

That's like a gay guy thing. It's not for women. Yeah.

[Anna]

The break is just break.

[Dan Allegretto]

So brutal.

[Anna]

Oh, you pour. Yeah. And then you're waiting the two weeks to check back, circle back and see how the break's going. And if he wants to resin the break, it's like, like leave him in.

[Dan Allegretto]

The dust, move on.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

He's dating another woman and or like.

[Anna]

Wants to date another woman and is like caught up.

[Dasha]

We got another one pregnant. Actually it would.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, no, I'm telling you. No.

[Dasha]

There's another woman and she's pregnant.

[Anna]

I bet it's not. I bet he like has a. An emote. I bet he's had an emotional affair.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And true.

[Dan Allegretto]

And has not consummated.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And he's an even bigger cuck than we think.

[Anna]

Because even to say I'm not gonna see other women, it's like what are you gonna do?

[Dan Allegretto]

What are you gon literally not seeing other women? I'm just talking to them on the Internet.

[Anna]

I'm in the talking stage. What are you going to. What is he going to do?

[Dasha]

No, he's Canadian. He's with another woman and they've adopted a child and this doesn't even know it yet. But she's going to find out soon. Three months.

[Dan Allegretto]

I hate this guy. On your behalf.

[Dasha]

Yeah, we don't like him. We like you though.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, we do like you.

[Anna]

Well, this was.

[Dan Allegretto]

You have the endorsement of Red Scare podcast.

[Anna]

Yeah. I feel for you. Okay, so that one was dumped parentheses female. This one's dumped parentheses male.

[Dasha]

Oh, I like this. Hey ladies. Love the pod.

[Caller 2]

My girlfriend and I have been together for six years and we just got engaged to be married back in September. But this last weekend while on vacation at her dad's house, she ended our relationship and said she needed a break. So I'm moving out for a while and we're going to see what happens. Do you think there's a chance we're going to get back together? And what would you say are the do's and don'ts of taking a break with your long term partner? Also if you play this, her and all of her friends will definitely hear it. But that's okay. Okay, thank you.

[Dasha]

Bye.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay, you should get your previous caller.

[Dasha]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's a love. Let's connect them.

[Anna]

Yeah, I don't believe in getting back. There's no, there's no getting back together. No break. And if you do get back together after a break, one of you's ran through and like full of regrets, like resentment and is like coming back around and then the other one's gonna resent them for whatever transpired during their break. It's Ross and Rachel.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I think a brain works. Like, maybe you'll get back together in, like, 20 years and like.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. When you're, like, old and feebled. Yeah. But you don't want. The best thing you can do when somebody hits you with the let's take a break is to just forget about them and move on so that they're jealous of you.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's like, literally the only thing you.

[Anna]

Got to get that upper hand.

[Dasha]

Vacation at her dad's house. Sounds like she's got some money. So I'm imagining a lake house. So I'm like, I'm sure it's hard for him to, like, leave that life. Lifestyle behind.

[Anna]

He's moving out for a while.

[Dasha]

For where? It seems like a men's shelter.

[Dan Allegretto]

Why is she. Why is she taking him on a vacation with her family if she's.

[Anna]

I think they got engaged. Sometimes you get engaged and you realize that you made a horrible mistake. You have to bail or, you know, there's.

[Dasha]

Be like that sometimes.

[Anna]

There's a Japanese proverb I read that's about if you're on the wrong train, like, get off the. It doesn't matter.

[Dan Allegretto]

Japanese bullet train. They'll take you to your location swiftly because they have clean, air conditioned.

[Dasha]

Yeah. They'll give you a note for work. Yeah.

[Anna]

But it doesn't matter how long you've been on the train, how much money you spent on the train. Like, if you're on the wrong train, you have to get off. That train's going not where you need to be.

[Dasha]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

So you need to get off of Kyoto or Osaka. Buy some pottery.

[Anna]

Exactly. Taking the sights. But yeah, you're. You took a detail.

[Dan Allegretto]

I feel for this guy too, that.

[Anna]

I mean, at least she had the decency of, like, breaking up with him in a more conclusive way.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, no, she didn't.

[Dasha]

Because. She didn't.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, she didn't. She took him on vacation with her.

[Dasha]

Dad and I was like, we're on a break now.

[Anna]

Well, they live together, engaged. I imagine they do most things together and things maybe. Who knows? I've.

[Dasha]

No, she didn't break it off. She said, we're on a break and he's, like, living again in a men's shelter probably down the street from me in Greenpoint.

[Anna]

She said she ended the relationship and he's moving out and they're gonna see how that goes.

[Dan Allegretto]

But there's no seeing how it goes.

[Anna]

You guys, it sounds like she was more conclusive than the previous caller's significant other. Former.

[Dasha]

Slightly more slightly.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I hate these people still. Who are these?

[Dasha]

Good enough for me.

[Anna]

Don't hold out hope, either of you.

[Dasha]

Exactly.

[Anna]

These people are betraying you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

You have to really rot.

[Anna]

They don't care about you.

[Dasha]

They've already made a decision. They're just not brave enough to declare it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I think that's pathetic.

[Dan Allegretto]

Which is the ultimate red bug.

[Dasha]

And, you know, we have all. We have limited timeless earth. And wasting people's time, I think is an egregious.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's the worst sin.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, it's like the. The famous land shark Twitter thread.

[Anna]

It's worse when a man does a true.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, because we women are working against a biological clock. Yes.

[Anna]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And the worst thing that you can do with a woman is, like, lead her on indefinitely.

[Anna]

You should go to jail.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

If you date a woman for over a year, every additional month that you date her without marrying her, you should.

[Dan Allegretto]

Be in one of those.

[Anna]

If you break up, you have to go to jail.

[Dan Allegretto]

What are those things called where they put you in. You know what I'm talking about?

[Dasha]

Yeah, sorry.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like. Like when they would put you in, like, the weird wooden headlock thingy, like.

[Dasha]

A medieval torture kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah.

[Anna]

Pillory. And people throw things at you and you, like.

[Dasha]

Really good idea for like a kind of.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should be pilloried if you lead.

[Anna]

A woman on like this.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's actually like, not the worst sin to not lead a woman on and to just tell her that you're not interested.

[Anna]

Way better.

[Dan Allegretto]

Of course. Noble.

[Dasha]

I think there should be a steam room. And it's like a medieval torture thing, but it, like, slowly stretches you out.

[Dan Allegretto]

You get raped by Lil Nas.

[Dasha]

No, it's just like, it's. You don't have to. It's just like a very nuts and bolts, literally kind of thing. You go to. It's hot, and you get stretched out, and it's like maybe half an hour and it's like 20 bucks.

[Anna]

Well.

[Dasha]

And no one else. Like, really.

[Anna]

Why don't you just go to Pilates?

[Dasha]

Come on.

[Anna]

I know. I'm being such a.

[Dan Allegretto]

Here's another question.

[Anna]

Why don't you just do a grueling workout in a hot room.

[Dan Allegretto]

Waiting six years to get engaged.

[Anna]

Exactly.

[Dan Allegretto]

You either get engaged in the first two years of dating.

[Anna]

Exactly.

[Dan Allegretto]

And. Or have a baby. Like, you do something like, definitive. Or you. No, don't get engaged.

[Anna]

She probably lost respect for him. Year four.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And then two years. Then you get.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should not be getting engaged.

[Anna]

Like two years too late.

[Dan Allegretto]

Ten years into the game and then.

[Anna]

Yeah. How long are you in gay? Obviously. Like, as someone who's just. There gets to be a point where you don't not get married.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

So they're not in that stage.

[Dasha]

The woman having the vacation house probably, you know, he might have some. Well, I don't know. We don't know.

[Anna]

They might split their time between their families.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's better off without her. And the other caller is better off without him.

[Dasha]

She's probably found someone else too, already.

[Anna]

Maybe they. I know. Maybe they could.

[Dasha]

Another man on the lake. It's giving him legal life.

[Anna]

She just doesn't. Yeah, she doesn't want it. The. She doesn't. She doesn't. It's not gonna happen. There's no do's and don'ts. The don't is don't take a break if you don't want to break up.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And then, you know, good luck. Okay.

[Caller 1]

Hey, ladies. So I've been talking to this guy and for context, he's kind of a public figure, like Internet famous. Honestly, you guys probably might know him. And he loves porn. Like, just loves porn. Red flag. I know. And we sex a lot, but he's always just asking me for porn. Like, just asking me for links. Like, I'm his own personal porn curator. How do I get him to want to have sex in the IRL more often? And also he has a cuck fetish. Like, pretty strong. And it's not just like he wants to get cucked. It's specifically black guys. Like, it's like blacks. Like he wants specifically me to like, fuck black guys. And also, like, I guess also the context that he's very red pilled. Like, he's very alt. Right. And I usually date, like, wanky, like liberal hipsters. So this is very new to me. And I guess just what do you make of that too? Like, him wanting me to. Black guys in front of him. Thank you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, I kind of know who we're talking. Welcome to Red Scare Podcast.

[Anna]

Welcome. Welcome to the alt. Right.

[Dasha]

Should we name some names? I don't know.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, it could be any number of men that we know.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should never be in a situation where you're doing extra work to see.

[Dasha]

Somebody sending porn links to a man.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should not.

[Dasha]

He already has the link.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

What do you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, he's like, leading you on, girl.

[Anna]

He's not interested.

[Dan Allegretto]

That doesn't sound fun.

[Anna]

He's gay.

[Dasha]

He's almost like destabilizing to hear this. Like I don't even know where to go enter this. Like that's very strange.

[Anna]

If it's not Kanye west, it's not worth it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, no, no.

[Dasha]

So true.

[Anna]

He's the only cuck worth wasting your time on as far as he's not.

[Dan Allegretto]

Worth it because you know that.

[Anna]

I mean I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, because you don't like black eyes.

[Anna]

Wow. I like talented artists, but yeah. This skin is so a bit dark for me and I think that's okay.

[Dasha]

So her thing is that like her kind of love interest is like.

[Anna]

Stage.

[Dasha]

Talk to other people with a mic on the back burner. Like him if you want to.

[Dan Allegretto]

You know what's so depressing is that everybody like now just talks to people on the Internet and it's so fake.

[Anna]

The talking stage.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, it's like an perennial everlasting talking stage where you're just like.

[Anna]

Yeah. You get the dopamine of attention from.

[Dasha]

Someone gay guy with a meth addiction who's like, I need porn, porn, porn, porn, porn. It's weird when straight guys.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's Nick Fuentes is.

[Dasha]

It's probably.

[Anna]

Yeah. Can you get the links for me?

[Dan Allegretto]

Send us the links. Once you.

[Anna]

I mean she. That's how she baited us.

[Dan Allegretto]

Also. Also when I just assume everybody's trolling us and when people are like I'm talking to somebody like Internet famous, they're lying. And he's not that Internet famous.

[Anna]

He has like 80.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Followers.

[Dan Allegretto]

He makes edits.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

On JD Van.

[Anna]

He's a popular non account with over 1000 followers.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I mean when you're young you think like anyone is interested Internet famous. Like it doesn't amount to anything practical whatsoever or spiritual. It's like it's not a good.

[Anna]

It's not a virtue.

[Dan Allegretto]

Actually. This guy has a fetish. So he's dying for you to him by saying no. Well just be a to that guy.

[Anna]

Just stop talking to him.

[Dan Allegretto]

When people are leading you astray and leading you on, just use them as your own personal guinea pig.

[Dasha]

I think maybe she could turn it into like a fin. Dom thing. Maybe get some money out of this. Honestly, get some money out of this.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

This guy sounds like a loser.

[Dan Allegretto]

If he's even real. Is this question is even real?

[Anna]

It's this question realistic.

[Dasha]

You know this will be a good topic for the thing like. I know you know, but you don't.

[Anna]

I was playing topic for the rather upsc Riley was up from the home while I was listening to them. He was like, don't take that bait. And I was like, but I was like, but I wonder.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I find myself wondering. And I'm now upset that I'm wondering because, like, no has got me.

[Anna]

It's someone definitely, like, minor that we wouldn't even probably know about.

[Dan Allegretto]

Future Moldovan.

[Anna]

It's easily could be someone we vaguely know or someone we don't know at all. Yeah, either is possible, but I don't think they're that prominent. Or else they might be a little more discerning, but probably not either. Yeah, regardless, we don't care. We're over it.

[Dan Allegretto]

They wouldn't be around with a girl with that voice.

[Anna]

Well, they probably haven't even spoken. They're okay. Which one you pick?

[Dasha]

Well, I thought I said halal pianist versus hotel pianist, but let's just do that one. Okay.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Cuz I love hotels.

[Anna]

Little long, but it's pretty interesting.

[Caller 1]

Okay, I need some advice because I'm kind of stuck at the moment. I've been hooking up with a pianist who works at my dad's hotel. It's not like a bougie hotel or anything. It's a pretty, like, small hotel. But anyway, he. He comes every Friday and Saturday and plays in the lounge. And my friends would just go. We get drinks and like, we chat a little. One thing led to the other and we hooked up. And now it's just kind of a regular thing. But here's where it gets a little complicated. So it turns out that he's married to one of my dad's ex employees, a woman who worked at the hotel when I was growing up. I lived in the hotel as a child and I knew this woman very well. I had no idea that he was married to her, obviously. And apparently things ended badly and now he's just like, around and I just. I don't know what to do because he started acting a little distant last week. Like, we're still texting, we're still making plans, but I feel like there's. There's like a shift and I can't help but wonder if he's pulling away because he's worried about me being like the daughter of the hotel owner. He's just trying to protect me from like, all the messy stuff that went down with his ex. I don't know what's happening, but I just. Am I a bad person for, like, a guy who used to be married to a woman who played a very big role in My childhood, like, I was very close with this woman as a child, and now I am hooking up with her ex husband and I just. Is that like ethical? I don't know. Should I also, should I confront him about the distance? Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't even know if this is sustainable. I don't know. Please help. Thank you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, my God. Okay. All these young people need to identify what they want.

[Anna]

She wants.

[Dasha]

So cool. And so I love that.

[Dan Allegretto]

But you guys, it's so depressing.

[Dasha]

Yeah. But like, I think, no, do it twice. Move on.

[Anna]

You live in the hotel. Hotel. And your dad lived in the lounge. It's like a bon voyage jazz. Anna, a jazz man.

[Dan Allegretto]

I know. Yeah.

[Anna]

You around? She's around. And finding now what happens when you are ignited.

[Dasha]

I'm like, this is my type of guy.

[Dan Allegretto]

It sounds like a loser.

[Anna]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's not a boutique hotel.

[Dasha]

Track likes, it's a dump.

[Anna]

And he's playing lounge piano on Fridays and Saturdays.

[Dasha]

Isn't that so nice? Like, there should be more he's getting.

[Anna]

From the hotel owner's daughter clock that type of.

[Dasha]

Of tea that's like. He's playing an important role in society. He's providing music and a beautiful. Like, that's a. I revere that.

[Dan Allegretto]

People don't do that anymore.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Maybe he's a little sleazy, you know, nailed to the cross.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not that sleazy. But like, you really can't expect anything from this guy.

[Anna]

Yeah. No, I.

[Dasha]

Great sex all the time.

[Anna]

And fun, fun, fun at the hotel.

[Dasha]

An age disparity happening where like.

[Anna]

Yeah, he's like. Like her sounds like this woman. His act like was a maternal figure to her.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And like she can't acknowledge it, but she has some kind of like this woman, I think.

[Anna]

But it also may be like a prophecy for her dad, you know, like father and his. She's the dad's employee. There's a lot of power dynamics happening.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Like kind of Titanic. A little bit too kind of Eloise. And also know, like the rehearsal with Nathan Field. This is like normal people.

[Anna]

It's way more intriguing than the minor right wing celeb. Honestly. I'm like, what's going on to this hotel? Upstairs, downstairs. The owner, the daughter staying there, the piano player.

[Dasha]

You know, I've been transfixed by piano players in my lifetime. Yeah. Yeah.

[Anna]

They tickle those.

[Dasha]

Ivory was a very old man. There's a restaurant in a very sleepy town in Connecticut that I've Been to a few times.

[Dan Allegretto]

Called Gay?

[Dasha]

No, but just an old, old man. He plays for a restaurant that's wooden and it's like a tavern kind of. And I just, like, was completely enamored by just the whole. I was, like, eating a salad next to this guy playing a piano. Like, I will have.

[Dan Allegretto]

Dan, do you know who Terry Waldo is?

[Dasha]

No, he's not the.

[Anna]

I don't know who that is.

[Dasha]

The guy in the books with the stripes.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's like, the friend of Eli, who's a. He's like, the last living ragtime pianist.

[Dasha]

Ragtime girl, don't invoke ragtime right now. Anna, come.

[Dan Allegretto]

He was the guy playing the piano. Elena Veleza's.

[Anna]

Oh, that guy. That old man, Yeah. I wish we had a lounge pianist to play ambient music for us.

[Dan Allegretto]

We should have Terry Waldo on the floor.

[Dasha]

You should. That's what the pond is.

[Anna]

Ragtime's a little goofy.

[Dasha]

Ragtime's a bit much.

[Anna]

But a lounge pianist is a. You know.

[Dasha]

But like I'm telling you.

[Dan Allegretto]

When I was a child growing up in New Jersey, the Nordstrom and the Bloomingdales had a lounge pianist who physically played piano, but they don't have that anymore. Did you ever encounter that?

[Anna]

I remember the piano that played itself and being. Being, like, enchanted by that.

[Dasha]

Like, grinding up.

[Anna]

How do they do it? There's a great piano player at Mimi's, that restaurant in midtown, who's neurodivergent. And Vish always gets him to come and play piano at his Christmas party. And it's always really, really fun.

[Dasha]

I heard fish. I'm like, wow, that's a really big band.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

I mean, there are plenty. You can. If you want a piano player, they're out there.

[Dasha]

There should be more. There should be a piano player every.

[Dan Allegretto]

The rule of Indian guys being hot.

[Dasha]

Oh, he's the guy that's, like, all the movies you're in.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. He's the real estate agent turned actor turned real estate agent.

[Anna]

Yeah. Still an actor.

[Dasha]

Wear a lot of hats. Yeah. I think that, like, Keep the piano player, don't tell your.

[Dan Allegretto]

Keep the expectations low.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Because that man ain't gonna give you what you want.

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

But do you think he's drowning in or not?

[Dan Allegretto]

No.

[Anna]

I'm getting the vibe he's an alcoholic.

[Dasha]

I mean, come on.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's like a Kevin Spacey character, and he's.

[Dasha]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Dan Allegretto]

Overjoyed that, like, some young void is into him.

[Anna]

But I bet he is pulling away because my hunch is less so. The ex wife. And more so though, that he's an alcoholic.

[Dasha]

Well, she's also probably annoying him too. Showing up all her friends like.

[Anna]

Well, that her dad is his boss.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

He doesn't want to botch.

[Dasha]

Keep it chill.

[Anna]

You know, he needs. He needs this gig, and she.

[Dan Allegretto]

She wants it to be like a flattering narrative with where there's some other woman involved and they're, like, locked in competition. But it's like, really that he's just. He doesn't keep his job.

[Dasha]

And it's a very important job. If he loses that job, it's his one.

[Anna]

Then the hotel suffering, then this could.

[Dasha]

Set off a chain of events.

[Anna]

So keep it going. Keep the flame alive as long as you can, and then try and taper off his grace.

[Dan Allegretto]

My one advice to all the callers calling in is like, reclaim the narrative and be the dominant bratty one who gets what you want by negging.

[Anna]

Well, she sort of asked. She said, should she confront him?

[Dan Allegretto]

No, never. Because then you're laying, like, your cards on the table.

[Anna]

I think yourself a way of getting the upper hand if you. You know, you can do it, you can play it, right.

[Dan Allegretto]

Only if you're. Only if you're willing to slide out. You have to be willing to be withholding and to disappear.

[Anna]

I agree that she should keep her expectations low. I bet him being older, his libido is diminished. So he. Though he probably loves having sex with you, he isn't as motivated by it as, like, a younger pianist or man might be. You know, he's probably. He's probably had. He's probably not drowning in pussy now.

[Dasha]

I am, like, this close to just leaving the podcast and going to the townhouse in the Upper east side. And like, the people there. Yeah. Like, I love penis. The piano is such a sexy instrument to play because it's so complicated. I tried like a friend, so sensual, like, and so much 10 years ago.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Was just trying to teach me, like, the most basic thing. I was like, hot cross buns or some. And I couldn't do it. She's like, no, just do it. I was like, no, I actually can't. I have, like. I don't have, like, a musical bone in my body, really. And. And I almost, like, broke down in tears. It was after, like, 20 seconds. I'm trying to play the. The piano. I'm like, I can do it. So it's when someone, like, really is, like, possesses their whole body.

[Dan Allegretto]

Sexy. Tried to teach me how to play bass.

[Anna]

Oh, God.

[Dan Allegretto]

Which is the easiest instrument ever And I couldn't even hang.

[Dasha]

Even though your fingers are so calloused from giving hand jobs to anyone. Piano players and Etc. Diamond Squ.

[Dan Allegretto]

Music.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Anyone.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Too bad.

[Anna]

Historically not haven't been my type musicians. But I could be. You know.

[Dan Allegretto]

My type is musicians. It really sucks, y' all.

[Dasha]

Wait, quick detour. Who are the most famous people you invited to your wedding?

[Anna]

I don't know.

[Dasha]

They want. The listeners want to know.

[Dan Allegretto]

She can't say that on the pod.

[Dasha]

We're going to find out anyways.

[Anna]

No one like that.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Anna]

It's very friends and family vibes.

[Dasha]

Great.

[Anna]

Oh, I wanted Ann Coulter. I. You know, she's got an opening.

[Dasha]

See, that's what I was gonna get. I'm like, are there any kind of.

[Anna]

But no. Is Steve Bannon Tucker come in. No, I wish. I don't think he would. He doesn't like New York. And it's like, I don't want to do the. You know, there's people who I are my friends who can't even come, so I can't be just.

[Dasha]

Well, they're gonna miss the pasta station by Ann Coulter.

[Dan Allegretto]

But we were in a gauntlet of homosexuals, so I couldn't invite her without excluding them.

[Dasha]

She was surrounded by the homos.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah. We really just will like a tall. I mean, it's like, we're really easy to please.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But also impossible at the same time.

[Anna]

It's. Yeah. It's alchemical.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You know what really clicks with the gay community? The sound of ice. Ice cubes and a plastic cup of coffee.

[Dasha]

Vodka soda. Yeah.

[Anna]

Like there's just. Yeah, the right tone.

[Dasha]

Okay, let's do some more calls.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Dan Allegretto]

How many do you have?

[Caller 1]

Hi, Josh and Anna.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like, slurring myself as a mother of.

[Caller 1]

Six kids who are all pretty young, and I'm curious how you would handle iPhone use and social media and the Internet for your child. Anna and Dash, if you were to have kids, you know how to expose them in a healthy way to the Internet. Thanks. Bye.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wait. Sorry. She's the mother of six kids.

[Anna]

That's six kids.

[Dasha]

And she's right.

[Dan Allegretto]

She's calling in to ask us for.

[Anna]

Advice about screen time. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's hilarious.

[Anna]

I don't know, by the way, why I, like, like, obscured Dan's identity. Like, I don't. You know.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

I could. I should have just been like, with Dan Algaro, but for some reason I was like.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, it's good.

[Anna]

I was gonna make a subsequent post that did mention Dan. To like, evoke maybe different kinds of callers.

[Dasha]

Oh, no, I like. I like the surprise element. Yeah. No.

[Dan Allegretto]

Can we really give her any advice? As women who don't know what. It's like.

[Dasha]

Somebody's raising six kids. She knows more about life than we can ever.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Six kids.

[Dasha]

Six.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's insane.

[Dasha]

Ones. One is close to six, but.

[Anna]

Well, they say like threes is easier.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, it's not.

[Anna]

Six is easier. Well, after.

[Dan Allegretto]

After like two or three, they start to socialize each other.

[Dasha]

Yeah. And then they kind of keep themselves busy.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I don't know.

[Anna]

Well, I wouldn't trip about screen time. Screen time.

[Dasha]

Here's my advice.

[Dan Allegretto]

Only Asians care about screen.

[Anna]

Do whatever you can.

[Dasha]

You're the mother. Your kids are going to resent you no matter what you do. So just give them the iPad at age 3 and let them go.

[Anna]

And because they're never gonna siblings, they won't ever. It's not like an only child and you're just like tossing the cocoa melon their way. Like you're. They are inevitably going to be better socialized and like, have their own distinct experiences and like. Yeah, they'll. They already are having an interactive life due to the amount of children.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Anna]

So like, if you need to put on, if some one of them needs to watch TV a little bit to relax, don't fire up the screen cares.

[Dasha]

Let it rip.

[Anna]

No. Yeah.

[Dasha]

If she has the time to listen to Red Scare podcasts, her children can watch like, Dora the Explorer.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

May I recommend, like the dog thing.

[Dasha]

What's the dog thing? What's it called? Like the paw.

[Anna]

Paw.

[Dan Allegretto]

Paw patrol. Paw patrol. Paw Patrol sucks.

[Dasha]

Oh, no.

[Anna]

What if Lenny's listening?

[Dan Allegretto]

He's an only child, needs a brat, and I'm a weak disciplinarian, so I let him do whatever he wants.

[Anna]

I think the zero screen time is admirable. It's not if you have an only. It's like, okay, sure, like, yeah, you can devote yourself to interacting with your kid, but it's not that important and like, it's fine.

[Dan Allegretto]

No. And if you deprive them of screen time, they're just like losers in their school and they get bullied.

[Dasha]

Right? Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Because they don't understand the context of, like, the memes.

[Dasha]

I think that, like, you know, if you feel bad about giving them too much screen time, like, they need nature.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Give them nature.

[Dan Allegretto]

You have to tailor the screen time. You have to show them constructive or some shit.

[Dasha]

I don't fucking know.

[Dan Allegretto]

You have to show them porn. To initiate them into adulthood.

[Dasha]

Find them a really. Show them very troubled cousin when porn is in the closet and, you know, leave them, you know.

[Anna]

Well, that's a great point because it's like Kanye's trauma, if you want to call it that. Predates the screen. Yeah, like everybody. The image is always going to, like, shock you. And like, children will be exposed to things. You can't keep them protected forever. May as well start them young.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, you just have to show them. What was Athena Carroll on about? Little Bear.

[Anna]

Little Bear.

[Dan Allegretto]

Show them Little bear you can be. And Masha and the bear. Anything content with a bear involved.

[Dasha]

Make them gay.

[Anna]

You think Dunstan checks it made you gay?

[Dasha]

Well, no, but in hindsight, what I didn't realize at the time, but like, when I rewatched it years later, by the way, I'm not like a person that watches, like, children movies. I'm not like an adult. It's like, yes, but like, also.

[Anna]

Okay, here, Dan, I have a question.

[Dasha]

Can I just, like, really quickly fade. Dunaway's in it. Paul Reubens made his return to cinema in that, like, P.E.

[Dan Allegretto]

Herman.

[Dasha]

Rupert Everett, who was like. I didn't realize he was like an out homosexual and like, never got roles for like 20 years, but he was like, back in tons of texts in. There's like a fat gay guy with old dog who's, like, very flamboyant.

[Anna]

So it's a triumph of art deco, like, hotel.

[Dasha]

It's like, it takes place in a hotel and it's very magical. And I was. I bought the VHS and I would watch it over and over and over again. Like, oh, it's so gay. As. I love hotels. I love.

[Anna]

It's a gay.

[Dasha]

I love really random Gaga. It's like, so. It was so cool and like, it doesn't get talked about because it's like a children's movie. But I love Paul Reuben so much that, like. Yeah, it's a very un. Untalked. It's not talked about.

[Anna]

It's underrated.

[Dasha]

Yeah, underrated. Thank you. But what were we talking about right before I went.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wait. Well, I have a question for you.

[Dasha]

Do you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Do you think homosexuality is genetic?

[Dasha]

I don't know. I remember feeling like from a very young age. But, like, I have. Okay, I memories I was like three or two years old or even like one year old. No, six months old. I have a memory. I remember it came to me in a dream a few years ago. I remember I had a dream that, like, my brother picked me up in our dining room and I threw up all over him. I like texted my mom or we were talking, I was like, I had this weird dream and she's like, wait, that actually happened? It was the first time your brother ever picked you up. Your crib was in the dining room and you threw up all of her. And I was like, oh, well, how did I know that happened? She's like, well, I don't know. I've never taught. It wasn't like a thing, but had like a vision of like that. I'm not saying I'm like a special kind of like psychic kind of person, but I do have like, sure. A lot of memories.

[Anna]

You are a very special very early age. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And you know, I think the first crush I had was like watching General Hospital. My grandma and Antonio Zavato Jr.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay.

[Dasha]

Hey.

[Anna]

Hey.

[Dan Allegretto]

Interesting. Well, there was that tweet going around today.

[Anna]

Who.

[Dan Allegretto]

That was like, what was your first celebrity crush? Yeah, it's Eli's art. Oh, I'm losing my voice. You guys.

[Dasha]

He was a Calvin Klein model and he was also a soap opera actor.

[Dan Allegretto]

So you had a formative homosexual memory.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I just was like, oh, no. But yeah, yeah, black and white one that.

[Anna]

Well, that's very handsome. Thursday. Yeah.

[Dasha]

And he's Italian. Oh, I mean, come on.

[Anna]

I know no dimples.

[Dasha]

And I don't think he's Italian.

[Anna]

Oh no, he's from Rome.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, interesting.

[Anna]

And born on leap day. But his mother's chat.

[Dasha]

Oh, guys, I'm not and Jewish and.

[Anna]

Her mother was a holocaust survivor.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh.

[Anna]

Mishling.

[Dasha]

So, you know, I remember being like five and being like, I love gay.

[Anna]

Well, just kind of like what you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, you, you have the famous story about how your mother bought you the Barbie Jeep because she thought you were into cars, but it was because you were into Barbie.

[Dasha]

Linna went to the Syracuse mall and I couldn't wait to go.

[Anna]

That's us. That's. That's you and that's Anna and that's me.

[Dasha]

Yeah. We would drive two hours to the Syracuse Mali, back to school shopping. And I was 4 and my mom.

[Dan Allegretto]

Bought me a bar to use for.

[Dasha]

And I sat on it and broke it in the mall. Cuz I. I just ripped off the packaging. I was like, I want this limo so bad. And I sort of soft. Came out to my mom when I was like 19. She's like, you would have played with dolls when you were a kid. Like, I don't understand. I'm like, benji bought me the Barbie. Are you not like, am I you? I think we Both are in our own right. But there's just like you're kind of locked in at four. I think you're locked in at four.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, that's when Freud says the formative memory start.

[Anna]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Dan Allegretto]

Which is why you want to keep your child away from weird errant criminal.

[Anna]

And are you, Are you the youngest?

[Dasha]

Yeah, I have a brother who's six years older, which is a theory that.

[Anna]

The kids get gayer.

[Dasha]

The younger brother is gay.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yes.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Looking at my brother's friends, one of eight, and he has a twin brother and his brother's straight, but he's gay.

[Anna]

Interesting.

[Dasha]

Oh, interesting. I know a lot of gay twins.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yes. You would assume that the gay gene.

[Dasha]

Or whatever.

[Dan Allegretto]

But it has to be like somewhat genetic.

[Dasha]

Yeah, probably. I mean, that's, that's a whole. Yeah, I don't know either.

[Dan Allegretto]

But then it opens up a minefield because it's like, what is homosexuality for? Because it's not procreative or whatever.

[Anna]

But like, it's like another thing.

[Dan Allegretto]

I do think that it has a strong genetic component.

[Dasha]

Yeah, no, it might be true. It's also kind of like the least unimaginative thing when, you know, there's like traversal wormholes on this planet that are, you know, dire walls are being being brought back to.

[Dan Allegretto]

Once you learn dinosaurs aren't real, you really turn them.

[Anna]

Oops, did we make another diary? That's so true, girl.

[Dasha]

I'm telling you, there's a lot of stuff going on up there. It's all in the ocean too. Sorry.

[Anna]

So screen time is okay as long as you're watching General Hospital, Dunstan checks in or inside Skinwalker Ranch or pornography. Those are the four things you want.

[Dan Allegretto]

It maxim appropriate for children to walk ahead of the curve to learn screen.

[Dasha]

Max about the world.

[Anna]

Yeah, and maybe a Yellowstone spin off. Yeah, if they've got time. Okay, there's four more.

[Dan Allegretto]

You got to wonder why a woman who has six kids is listening to Red Scare podcast.

[Anna]

Got down time. She's doing chores. Who knows?

[Dasha]

Does she like, fall asleep though? People tell me. They tell me. Is it a common. Like, I fall asleep listening to your podcast? Well, yeah, I guess I'm suit, but in my mind I feel like I'm just stressing every part of my life out constantly. So, like, when people are like comforted by my voice, I find it alarming and strange. Yeah, maybe not right now. I don't know. It's different. But it's. It's. It's also kind of like, oh, I'm Boring. We can just.

[Anna]

No, it's not that. I think it's because if you're too engaging, you're stressing people out.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

You're lower. Yeah. No one's falling asleep to Candace Owens, and she's not interested.

[Dasha]

Tim Dylan, though. We love him, but nobody's falling asleep to Tim Dylan. I. I am, though, at a very low volume.

[Anna]

Yeah, no, there's nice people. Like, I don't. But some. A lot of people are soothed by, like, chatter.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

It's just something people like. Okay.

[Dasha]

All right.

[Caller 1]

Hi. Big fan of the pod. So me and my boyfriend, we live together. I think we're gonna get married someday. We're very happy. But ever since I have gotten an IUD in, I'm sexually broken and I feel disgusting, if that makes sense. I feel like I don't want to have sex. I don't feel sexy. I would rather goon by myself when he's at work. I'm so serious. It's horrible. We still do have regular sex. I just don't feel sexually attractive. And it's not his fault. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. But should I get a new form of birth control? I'm not ready to have a baby. Should I just track my cycle? Because I'm turning 26 and I'm losing my medical insurance, and I think I should just get this thing ripped out, but I don't really know what to do about it.

[Dan Allegretto]

Hey, news flash. Birth control is evil.

[Anna]

It's poison. Yeah, right. Get that thing out of you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Get the thing out and track your cycle.

[Anna]

Your body's rejecting it. You don't want to. You don't feel sexually attractive because you're not fertile. Because your body already thinks you're pregnant.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Because you had a thing inserted into it.

[Dasha]

Then my intuition's, like, metal thing. Get it out.

[Anna]

Get it out.

[Dasha]

Hell, you implanted something yourself. Not even an alien didn't do it. You did it.

[Anna]

Exactly.

[Dan Allegretto]

And also, like, this is okay. I understand. People will push back on me. But if you are in a happy, monogamous relationship, why are you on birth control?

[Dasha]

Getting knocked up would be a blessing, potentially.

[Anna]

And it's so mostly it's.

[Dasha]

Right. That's how things happen. It's.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not like, what else do you have going on?

[Anna]

But it's also not hard to track your psych. Like, there's this, like, sex ad myth that people are like, I remember the first time I had sex being like, we have to get condoms because I might get Pregnant. Because I've only been on birth. I went on birth control because I wanted to lose my virginity.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And I had only been on it for two weeks, and they said, you have to be on it for at least a month to fully be infertile. So I was like, we gotta get the condoms. Because I was like, there's a pianist.

[Dasha]

At the Hyatt in Las Vegas. And I.

[Anna]

To be like, I can get pregnant at any moment.

[Dan Allegretto]

My question, which is very brute and cruel, is like, if you are already locked into a relationship, why would you even be on birth control? Why are you postponing the inevitable?

[Anna]

Well, she's not ready to have kids.

[Dan Allegretto]

I get it.

[Anna]

But like, also, it's not that hard to avoid.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, but why would. But why would you. Then roll the die.

[Dasha]

Shake the dice, steal the rice, get knocked up, do it now.

[Anna]

Just. Yeah. If you track your cycle and get pregnant anyway, it's a miracle and it's with the will of.

[Dan Allegretto]

Worth keeping it.

[Anna]

And. But you will find that it's. You know, I just think about how.

[Dan Allegretto]

Crazy we all are because I spent like 10, 15 years postponing my fertility and having a baby which is mentally ill.

[Anna]

I mean, it doesn't.

[Dasha]

Having a child is like, the worst thing could ever happen to someone. Like, millennials really think that. Like a child.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. Well, because they think it'll burden their lifestyle.

[Dasha]

Challenging and I'm sure very difficult.

[Anna]

But again, it's just like sex ed. Like, you're told from a very young age that's the most tragic thing that can happen, that you must avoid it at all costs. And you're never told about, like.

[Dasha]

But if you're with someone for a long time and you love them, like, like, my question is, like, what else do you want?

[Anna]

Exactly.

[Dan Allegretto]

Gay people aside, what's the point of being in a relationship if it's not procreative?

[Dasha]

I mean, like, there's never been one.

[Dan Allegretto]

Literally, no point.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

I mean, the companion again.

[Dasha]

But I.

[Anna]

People don't want to be alone.

[Dasha]

Smell what you're stepping in.

[Dan Allegretto]

I hate to be so black and white about it, but it's like, true.

[Anna]

No, if you think you're gonna get married.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yes.

[Anna]

If you're lost, you don't need.

[Dan Allegretto]

If you have made a commitment, if you are gonna walk off into the sunset with this person, why not just get pregnant now or not, you're not gonna get pregnant.

[Anna]

Try to get pregnant.

[Dan Allegretto]

Don't go out of your way. But, like, don't intervene.

[Anna]

Obviously your body is telling you that you don't that having non procreative sex is wrong.

[Dasha]

It seems like her intuition is like, like barking very loudly. And she's not. She's putting the dog down.

[Anna]

Get it out.

[Dan Allegretto]

Her relationship with her boyfriend that she loves.

[Anna]

She's gonna get fat and be a bed. Which is also a side effect of.

[Dan Allegretto]

Birth control is that you become more depressed.

[Anna]

Yeah. You're low, your libido's lower, you resent your boyfriend. It changes your body chemicals.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

How fat do you really get, though? You're getting like five pound ten.

[Anna]

I. My. I went on birth control when I was with Adam because I wanted my tits to get big.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Anna]

And they got like, pretty big. But I was like, low key. Not fat, obviously, but like.

[Dasha]

Yeah, you'd never be fat.

[Anna]

Well, I've been on, you know, whatever. But yeah, my. I was like, yeah, my tits were swollen, but I was like, I was like bloated all the time.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You know, so it's like. And they kind of hurt. They look cool, but it's like, it wasn't worth it.

[Dan Allegretto]

You can literally just naturally track your cycle. It's not rocket science.

[Anna]

It's really not.

[Dan Allegretto]

And if you get pregnant, that. That's like God's way of telling you that you should just have the baby.

[Anna]

Yeah. You're fertile. Really? Like five to three days of the month is like the.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's very minimal. Yeah.

[Anna]

And like, if he's pulling out, that's also pretty good.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That also is going to lower your chances.

[Dan Allegretto]

So we're going back to like OG Red Scare talking points, which is that.

[Dasha]

The pull out method works 100 of the time, probably. Yeah.

[Anna]

Mostly. Yeah. With tracking your cycle, it's like.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Basically pretty good.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Wait. Going back to classic red Scare talking points, I've lost like £30 since last summer and no one's noticed. You guys are like, oh, I haven't.

[Anna]

Seen you that much.

[Dasha]

Yeah, No, I know. Truly, when you're like, how'd you do it? I think I stopped eating fast food when I was hungover and just got like the, The Polish hot bar next to my apartment. I would get like a cabbage roll and like.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Green beans and roasted potatoes.

[Anna]

So listen, doing intuitive eating.

[Dasha]

Exactly.

[Anna]

You're eating what your body craves, which is Slavic foods.

[Dasha]

Just slop. Just like.

[Anna]

Yeah, but that's what you know from Polish restaurant.

[Dasha]

Not kachma. It's called Bakestone Bakery. But I love kochma. And it's. I've been there with either of you.

[Anna]

No, I don't make it out to Greenpoint, though.

[Dasha]

Well, yeah, not many people do.

[Anna]

There's a Burmese restaurant by my house that I like.

[Dasha]

I mean, living on the isle of Manhattan must be so nice, like, truly.

[Dan Allegretto]

Nice, because we're being poisoned by our takeout.

[Anna]

No, I. Yeah, no, there's not. My neighborhood's not great for restaurants, like, anything. Yeah, yeah, you make it work.

[Dan Allegretto]

I just go to the Italian farmer's market in New Jersey and buy food for, like, three weeks.

[Dasha]

Well, I go to the malls and I go to the Roosevelt Field Mall in Long island to, like, walk and shop and get your steps in. Yeah, in the winter, I go to the mall. I go. It's called the dining district. It's not the food court, but, you know, there's fabulous Indian food and other stuff.

[Dan Allegretto]

After you guys leave, I'm going to eat Kiel basa on German flax red.

[Anna]

Oh, yeah, I've loved your food post there. They literally make my mouth water. That's amazing. Yeah, I love the sardine.

[Dasha]

Okay, we got three more.

[Anna]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Anna. Hi, Dasha. Longtime listener. I've been listening to you guys since I was in College and I'm 26 now. First time caller.

[Dasha]

They're all 26.

[Caller 1]

But I. I had a question because I'm afraid I'm being a total bitch to my boyfriend because of subconsciously mimicking everything I see online to go back. I think Since I turned 26, I've been really obsessed with getting engaged. And this isn't something that I, like, normally thought I would be.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like.

[Caller 1]

Like, I thought I would be someone who, like, wouldn't want to get married until, like, 34. I don't know. But I am from the south, even though I live in New York. And I constantly see people online either getting engaged, getting married, or having literal children. And I just see it constantly. And I don't know if that is getting into my head or if I genuinely want to get married. Like, I. I'm just on my Pinterest board, like, pinning rings, and if you knew me, you'd know this isn't like, a normal thing for me. Am I like. I do love my boyfriend, too. It's just like, how do I know I, like, genuinely want to get married? And maybe this is more of a question for Dasha versus me wanting. This might be going on too long, but me just mimicking the world around me, like, how do I know it's like my own decision?

[Dan Allegretto]

You don't.

[Caller 1]

Anyway.

[Anna]

I was actually thinking the other day about how if you're not religious yeah. There's basically no incentive to get married.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Because you don't. Like, I. When I. I literally had to sign a document that said I want to be in a Christian marriage that is exclusive, permanent, and open to children and like, that, like, these were, like, the parameters of what it meant to be married. And I don't think that really exists in secular marriage because divorce rates are. So it's like, there's just. No.

[Dan Allegretto]

There's no incentive. And it's very hard to. I think about this a lot because how do you restore belief? I'm not even talking about marriage. I'm talking about religion. How do you believe in something when we've all been taught to not believe and it's actually correct? Like, there's nothing to believe in, objectively speaking. So you have to find your own belief, which is challenging.

[Dasha]

And there is agnostic, like, institution of marriage is like, yeah, doesn't.

[Anna]

It would make sense if you're not rich. If you're not rich or religious.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. If you're not trying to merge assets, there's no.

[Anna]

If you don't have, like, a dynasty that you are, like, trying. If you're not. Yeah.

[Dasha]

No. And also, like, not to make it about me, but as a gay guy, I'll be like, do you want to get married? I'm like. I don't even, like, think I'm, like, it could happen.

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't understand the institution of gay marriage except for. As, like, an asset merger.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Like, I could.

[Dan Allegretto]

But I think, like, believing in God and getting married and having children are probably the right things to do. And the fact of the matter is it didn't occur to people to not do them beforehand. And there's no easy pathway to, like, like, restoring that level of faith. It just doesn't exist.

[Dasha]

That's true. But also, like, as just witnessing the life around me as, like, people like, in. I grew up in a very, like, Catholic, Ukrainian, Eastern European. A lot of people were married and completely miserable and, like, very dysfunctional and, like. Yeah, you know, it's. It would be nice to have, like. Like a defined lifestyle that's like, this is what we should strive for. And we did have it. And it's, like, broken and, like, gone.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's like, actually. I know, I know.

[Dasha]

And it isn't the worst thing, but it's also still kind of sad.

[Dan Allegretto]

It is sad, like, on a collective level that. Yeah, you don't have that anymore.

[Dasha]

Like, my grandparents were. They were married until they died, and.

[Dan Allegretto]

It didn't occur to them to ever separate.

[Dasha]

They were like, they met in like a Nazi work camp from their families.

[Dan Allegretto]

That'll do it.

[Dasha]

And they immigrated to America and they worked side by side in a glass packaging Factory in Elmira, New York. They'd walk home for lunch. For 40 years they retired and they never complained. I've never heard them complain once in their lives. Meanwhile, I make a living off of like complaining basically. It's like disgusting.

[Anna]

They never took a break because they were overwhelmed. They didn't have anxiety. Yeah.

[Dasha]

You know, they're carrying like the heaviest trauma I could ever imagine.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. And they would be like.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Uniquely disrespected if they knew how you made a living. I mean I had that tweet back in like 2015. Like no, I'm like the, the descendant of like Armenian genocide survivors, Holocaust survivors, Stalinist purge survivors. And I make my living gossiping and complaining on a podcast.

[Anna]

That's why they, that's what they needed.

[Dan Allegretto]

But it is really depressing because it's very hard to like I think about the. This all the time because a lot of people will say that we're nihilists because. Well, what they really mean is that we don't agree with them politically. Which I think is wrong because I do have political convictions, but I am a nihilist fundamentally in that I don't believe in anything. And it's a kid to believe in something.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like I don't believe in religion, I don't believe in marriage. Like it's a very dark place to be as a person.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I get accused of being a nihilist also. The thing is I believe in a lot of things such as dinosaurs never.

[Anna]

Walked up and the portals that's gonna walk around.

[Dan Allegretto]

Not to be like an annoying red pilled but like that children should not be trans at a prepubertal age. Like you believe in stuff like that.

[Anna]

And that's very obvious.

[Dasha]

Not even like a. That's a very extreme extremist.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Thing to believe. And on the left people are like, if you don't suddenly get on board, then you're stolen or Muslim. It's like, whoa, okay. Like let's figure a way to reel it in.

[Dan Allegretto]

But nowadays it really does not make something like, I understand why you're getting married because you're a person who's not only religious, but you have an intact family. Like both of your family parent sets are married and alive.

[Anna]

All my grand. Well, yeah. My grandparents, much like Dan's, couldn't. There was just no. You know, I don't get divorced and then my parents be in part due to their immigrant experience. I feel like that really tethers you to a person.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yes.

[Anna]

Because you start a whole new life together in a new place and you're not going to like, do remix into a third one, like, unless you're really damaged.

[Dan Allegretto]

My parents, it would never have occurred to them to get divorced, even though they threatened it all the time. Like, it would have never happened.

[Dasha]

My mom tried to divorce my dad for years and years, but he would like, kidnap my brother and disappear. So it's like it was dark as. But, you know, and I still like it. I resent my mom still to this day. I'm like, why didn't you like to force himself sooner? And I know the reasons why. I saw it, of course.

[Anna]

Well, you don't. It's. The thing about being Catholic is not obviously Catholic marriages get annulled or like, you know, they find ways to separate still. But it's. You enter into a marriage not. Most people who enter into secular marriages don't have the ideal of not getting divorced. You're not trying to.

[Dan Allegretto]

You're a kind of person on demand. It's like divorce on demand.

[Anna]

You, like, the marriage is already kind.

[Dan Allegretto]

Of null and void because you always have the option of casually getting divorced because you're not like, to me, marriage and religion go hand in hand.

[Anna]

Well, it's a sacrament. So you have. If you are religious, you believe that a sacrament is something real that like a priest gives you and that that changes something in yourself and your like, bonds you in a real way. And just a secular marriage where you get your friend to be ordained and say, you know, it's like, it's all nice and sweet and like, I'm pro. It's nice. It's nice. But like, yeah, there's no real reason to do it. And I don't know enough about the caller, but it sounds like she's feeling a lot of like, ambient social pressure and she's on Pinterest too much.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, she's just going online and seeing people. Like, it's like everybody online, but especially women suffer from social contagion where you see other people doing stuff. Like, I'll give you an example, which is like, when I see people have like a handbag or a shoe that I didn't even think of before, I'm like, oh, I need that.

[Anna]

I have a whole Pinterest board for the brown New Balance Miu Miu skin sneaker.

[Dan Allegretto]

I have those sneakers.

[Anna]

No, Anna, they're so Expensive.

[Dan Allegretto]

I like, got them on vistair Collective.

[Anna]

Oh, I'm on that.

[Dasha]

Whose foot's bigger?

[Anna]

Anna's?

[Dan Allegretto]

Mine, even though I'm shorter.

[Anna]

I bought fake ones. And you can really tell.

[Dasha]

They look like dog toe, knuckle hair. I'm like, I had mine lasered off.

[Anna]

But I love. Yeah, I have a whole Pinterest board of all of those. Sneaker. But I can't spend a thousand dollars on a sneaker right now because I have these.

[Dasha]

You have a board of pictures of the same shoes.

[Dan Allegretto]

Mentally ill, because you don't really need the shoot.

[Anna]

Like Pinterest Crazy pictures make you crazy.

[Dan Allegretto]

At a discount price. And I've never. And now I'm like, I need the Comme des Garcon's Nike collabo high heel shoe because I saw Amalia Ullman wearing it at some movie Q A. And my friend Veronica really wants them. And I'm like, buying supreme at 40 years old.

[Dasha]

Yes, you are.

[Anna]

That is hot.

[Dasha]

Yeah. You sure?

[Dan Allegretto]

I did buy the gay race Communism fleece with, like, the. It was like a jazz scene of, like, black people partying.

[Dasha]

Happy for you.

[Dan Allegretto]

So much money. I don't know why I bought that. I can probably sell it for higher. Yeah, I have the supreme sleep warmers. Like, Dan, look at this thing that I bought for the baby.

[Dasha]

My neck to even move. I'm just so old when I have to, like, turn around, I'm like, picture.

[Anna]

A plastic truck that says Supreme.

[Dasha]

Crazy. Get him a Hess truck.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, no, I'm gonna resell it for, like, twice the price.

[Anna]

It's gonna accrue value. Especially when you smoke all these cigarettes around it. That's gonna really drive up the price.

[Dan Allegretto]

I need my baby to have the Supreme Transformers truck right now.

[Dasha]

Wait, so the Supreme Transformers? How much did you spend on that?

[Dan Allegretto]

98.

[Dasha]

98? Yeah.

[Anna]

That's not so bad.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not so bad.

[Anna]

That's like a toy.

[Dasha]

What?

[Dan Allegretto]

And now it's going for twice the price, right?

[Dasha]

The second I would have 500.

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, no, I would never. I would never. I would never.

[Dasha]

But the fleece sounds like you're getting a taste for.

[Anna]

I want to know how much the fleece cost.

[Dan Allegretto]

It was like 348. So much money.

[Anna]

I mean, why do you.

[Dan Allegretto]

Why did I do that?

[Anna]

The Mimi stickers are, like a thousand 1400.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're a thousand dollars, like, retail value. But they're going for, like, 1800 because they're sold out, which is insane.

[Dasha]

My God.

[Anna]

They're not. It's. I. The real Thing is, they have like two different sets of laces. And I'm like, I bought these Adidas that I'm just gonna put different laces in. But now I'm like, that's. No, it's like, everyone's gonna know what I'm doing.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And that I can't afford. I'm broke and I can't have the Mew Mew sneakers.

[Dasha]

The thing is, like, people.

[Anna]

Because I can't really afford looking at you.

[Dasha]

And they don't care. Everyone's so wrapped in their own.

[Anna]

Well, this is also true.

[Dasha]

It's like when it's the way that people make you feel, not how you look.

[Dan Allegretto]

Going back to the.

[Dasha]

That's why I have so many friends. I have such an award winning personality.

[Dan Allegretto]

It is psycho. Because so many men get married, not like a party and a wedding and like a photo shoot. And it's not their fault. I actually don't blame them or fault them for that. That's my least misogynist opinion. I get it. But it's the wrong reason to get married.

[Anna]

Absolutely. Well, much like dinosaurs, there's a whole industrial complex that like encourages this. And I get. I also preach agree. I like, understand why. Because most people don't have, like, this is for most people, like, their wedding day is the day where they get a lot of attention.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

And they get to kind of produce something that's catered to their tastes because they're not artistic. And like, you know, if you. I never wanted. I didn't really ever want to get married because I never felt that, like, need to. You know, I was like, I'll probably go to like a movie premiere or maybe I'll like play someone that gets married in a movie. And like, that probably feels.

[Dan Allegretto]

Here's a question for you. Why are you getting married?

[Anna]

Well, because I'm religious. Yeah. Because I believe in it as I. Because. Because I want the sacrament and I'm in love with my husband. And I want us to be. When we have that. We share the same values and the same faith, basically. And we want.

[Dasha]

Where did you meet him, by the way?

[Dan Allegretto]

Oh, they were taught for years. They were like, yes.

[Dasha]

What's the upstate. Is there an upstate connection?

[Anna]

He's from the Pacific Northwest.

[Dasha]

Okay. Either way, he seems like he's comfortable.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like this guy.

[Anna]

They've been trying to set me up with Riley. And then finally I've been knowing about this and it.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's actually a beautiful thing because it was like a crapshoot because she could have met him and Been like, whatever. T. Socks. And he could have been like. It's been given.

[Dasha]

You know, I've only like, shaken hands twice. We've never really spoken, but I'm like. I'm transfixed.

[Anna]

Gay guys love them.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

They.

[Dasha]

Because he's kind of.

[Anna]

Because he's so straight.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's just like non descript and he's like, truly a good Christian. Seems he's a good and kind person. He's gentle without being a. Yeah, ex.

[Dasha]

What I was getting at. He's gentle without being a.

[Anna]

That is so true.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Which is like what you really want.

[Anna]

And. Well, yeah, I was in.

[Dasha]

He's down for all the Catholic stuff.

[Anna]

Yeah, dude.

[Dasha]

I mean, like, he could.

[Anna]

He. When I met him, he was a catechumen to Russian Orthodoxy.

[Dasha]

Oh.

[Anna]

So he's similarly religious, but in a slightly different. Different way. Which gives us a nice friz on. Yeah. But I. Okay, wait, can I just say. Okay, so I was in Paris in late January of last year, and I went to. I was like, by myself and I was. I was going a lot of. I was doing a lot of Catholic tourism.

[Dan Allegretto]

You were going to a lot of McDonald's.

[Anna]

I was eating at McDonald's every day exclusively because I was too scared to go to a French restaurant.

[Dan Allegretto]

They mean to you.

[Anna]

Because I didn't want anybody mean to me. And then just going to churches. And then I went to this spree of the Holy Spirit and I was praying and I was like, you know what? I was like, maybe like, you don't want me to get married, you know, and like, that's fine. Like, I'll do your will on earth. Like, I'm here to do what God wants me to do. If he wants me to go crazy, I'll go fucking crazy.

[Dan Allegretto]

If he wants.

[Anna]

He wants me to host a point. He wants me to sell cryptocurrency to build the ancestral wealth. He wants me, you know, whatever. I'm in tune with. With the God's plan. So I'm like, you know, being. I'm on my Marianne Williamson, like, mindful prayer. I'm like, you know, like, I'm not asking for a husband, but like, if you want me to get married, just like, give me some indication. And then three days later, Holy Spirit. Three. One, two, three. I met Riley. I came back to New York. I met Riley at Matu's opening.

[Dasha]

Oh.

[Anna]

And he was like, I'm an Orthodox catechumen, religious guy, handsome as hell.

[Dasha]

Oh, no, he's carpenter. So adagi carpenter.

[Anna]

Like Joseph and Mary is my patron saint.

[Dasha]

Because you're a Magdalene or the.

[Anna]

Technically any Mary, but the Virgin Mary.

[Dasha]

Okay.

[Anna]

But really, it's any. All the Marys.

[Dasha]

That's very sweet.

[Anna]

But then. Yeah. Then I randomly met Riley, and then I was like. I had a feeling very early on.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That we would get married. And look at me now. Yeah. There's no. If. You don't really. If you're not religious, there's no real point in, like.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

I mean, unless you want to have a family. Unless you want to finance the financial. Like, there are reasons, I think that.

[Dan Allegretto]

If you meet somebody and you feel, like, so compelled, you should do it, but you also don't have to do it. And you should not be, like, sissified by Pinterest into pursuing, like, even if.

[Dasha]

You'Re with someone for, like, 10 years, doesn't like, the law, the government be like, oh, no, you're married now. They place it on you.

[Anna]

I said to my. My priest came to bless my apartment in January of last year again.

[Dasha]

Oh, you're in it.

[Anna]

No. Yeah, I'm full. I'm a practicing Catholic, so. And, yeah, he came to my room.

[Dasha]

You're really.

[Anna]

I go, yeah. And that's a normal. It's a normal thing.

[Dasha]

But some people was, like, more casual.

[Anna]

Yeah. They're called cafeteria Catholics, and I respect them and it's fine, but whatever. Yeah. So he came to my. He was in my apartment. We were having Georgian takeout that I ordered, and he, like, gave me some book about, like, art. And I was like. Honestly, I was like, I don't. I was like, I don't care. I was like. I. I was like, if I don't get married, I said, I'm going to have a baby out of wedlock, and you're my priest. That's going to be your problem. You're going to have a single mother in your church with a baby, and you're. That's your. That's. That's going to be on you. So, yeah, he doesn't have to worry. He doesn't worry about that now. But, yeah, I didn't really think. But really, this question to me was really about Pinterest.

[Dasha]

There's no way. I remember the question that was.

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't either.

[Dasha]

That was like.

[Anna]

It was like, does she really want to get married or is she just on Pinterest? No.

[Dasha]

Get married. Yeah, do it.

[Dan Allegretto]

I mean, she should, but she doesn't.

[Dasha]

You can get divorced.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

That's what I'm talking about. That's bad. You can't you shouldn't. You shouldn't enter into a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced. You should at least have the idea.

[Dasha]

No one really.

[Dan Allegretto]

The best line the Clintons ever had was that abortion should be safe, legal and rare.

[Anna]

And like a marriage. Like a marriage, it should be sacramental, permanent, open to children.

[Dan Allegretto]

You shouldn't enter into a permanent life decision unless you know what you're doing.

[Dasha]

Yeah, but people.

[Anna]

Mistakes.

[Dasha]

Mistakes changing drastically.

[Dan Allegretto]

I've been listening to a lot of Eminem and he's really pilled on marriage.

[Dasha]

His whole thing is like, you take like mushrooms and, and get in like a kiddie pool and like freaking out.

[Dan Allegretto]

This whole thing is like, I want to kill my wife.

[Dasha]

Yeah. My daughter.

[Anna]

No, he loves his daughter.

[Dan Allegretto]

Haley Jade just had a baby and she seems to. He's like the youngest grandpa ever.

[Dasha]

And no, like, I'm telling you, he's not that young. I'm 36 years old and there are. I. I like to go on Facebook a lot, check in with my high school friends.

[Anna]

Are you on Pinterest?

[Dasha]

No, I'm not on Pinterest, but I'm on Facebook.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And you know, a girl in my class is a grandmother now and she's 36. Is like, you know, hoes have hoe daughters and the cycle repeats itself. 16, 60. It's kind of.

[Anna]

There's something to it. It's like you have a kid young.

[Dasha]

And then you're happy. They're like, we have a beautiful big family now.

[Anna]

And you're. When you're.

[Dasha]

I'm a 36 year old grand.

[Dan Allegretto]

For this. But this guy, Carmelo Anthony, who stabbed the white teen at the track meet.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Okay. So his mom went on TV to like defend him, which like any mother would do regardless of what your kid did. And she looked about his age. She looked like 17. And then they wheeled out the grandma and she looked 17. I was like, oh, everybody in your family is 17?

[Dasha]

Yeah, they're all 17 in.

[Anna]

But that's the thing is you have kids young and your parents had you young and then your grand. Your. Their grandparents are young. They have all. They can take care of their kids because they're, you know, it is. There is like a logic to it and a way that people. Things used to be done.

[Dan Allegretto]

And people complain that this is why feminism occurred because women were like, milked at a young age and they grew resentful of it. But in a way that's beneficial because when you have a kid and you're like 36 and your kid's 17. You have your whole life ahead of you. Whereas all of us geriatric pregnancy moms are, like, looking at the wall.

[Dasha]

Well, it depends on how you define yourselves. Like, a lot of most Americans, like, don't care about, like, their job is just, like, what they do, their life as their family. And so, like, having a big family is, like, their whole life.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is that true, though?

[Dasha]

Yeah, I think so.

[Anna]

Yeah. I think that used to be.

[Dasha]

And so, like, you just pay the bills, but you, like, your life is. When you get home from work, it's not like, oh, no, is the nanny. It's like, you're just. You have a huge family doing all this, and it's nice. It must be nice. Sounds like a lot.

[Dan Allegretto]

Kind of a. I'm a Covid truther. I'm in the sense that I'm pro Covid.

[Anna]

We need to bring it back.

[Dan Allegretto]

Because during COVID all these people who wouldn't have ordinarily, including myself, just had children.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Because there was nothing else to do. And we could postpone our lifestyle choices.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

And do the right thing to gestate. Yeah.

[Anna]

My mom was 39 when I was 18.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. That's my age.

[Anna]

And I was my age. It's the same age difference as me and Anna.

[Dasha]

That's crazy. My mom was 39 when she had me, but she had a lot of. I'm not gonna air my mom.

[Anna]

Don't, please.

[Dasha]

There were some miscarriages between.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dan Allegretto]

My brother and she just aired the tea.

[Anna]

Well, whatever.

[Dasha]

But I mean, also, like, hello. Like, that's part of life.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Ashamed of that.

[Anna]

No. No.

[Dasha]

But.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, did you hear this detention statistic that I saw? It's tough on Twitter that More women over 40 are having children now than teen moms.

[Dasha]

Oh, wait, for real?

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I mean, I'm having.

[Anna]

Having babies.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Damn. That's crazy.

[Dasha]

I can kind of believe that. I just.

[Dan Allegretto]

I believe it.

[Dasha]

Other numbers supporting that. Where'd you find these?

[Dan Allegretto]

No, they are. That's all. It's all over Twitter. That's my bible. Whatever they say on Twitter is true.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I believe that that's true because.

[Dasha]

It'S like, there's definitely something different.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's all, like, women who are millennials.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Who, like, postponed getting married and having children, who are now doing a job.

[Dasha]

And a career first before you do anything.

[Anna]

Right.

[Dasha]

God forbid, use, like, welfare or social.

[Anna]

The other crazy thing, like everyone else.

[Dasha]

Like, I'm on. I'm on Raya Raya. Sorry. I'm also on Medicaid.

[Anna]

You can be incredible duality. Oh yeah. They all are.

[Dasha]

Kind of let everyone. It's like there's a lot of Bushwick stylists, like they're still doing like the tiny sunglass thing and they think they're God's gift to earth. But it is going back to like, like, you're right, I'm on Medicaid.

[Anna]

I mean when Anna did that debate with Grimes in LA and you made, you were espousing some pronatalist talking points. Ben Burgess, that socialist who's overweight said he like cornered me and was like, don't you think it's really a class based like we, we can have. We can't be natalists until we have like, like total class equality, whatever. And I was like, look at. What about Catholic Catholics are constantly having kids and they're important.

[Dan Allegretto]

What about poor people who are constantly.

[Anna]

It's like, well, they're Catholic.

[Dan Allegretto]

Well, it's like the Steve Banner, mostly Catholic social. Remember the famous Steve Bannon line? And he was like, socialism exists in America for the extremely poor and the extremely rich. So true King.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Probably because all the middle class drivers such as myself were like brainwashed into postponing.

[Anna]

Well, you didn't postpone it that much.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, but like you had a kid.

[Anna]

In the norm, like that's normal range.

[Dan Allegretto]

But like you could have done it younger. And I postponed it.

[Anna]

But it's not.

[Dan Allegretto]

But even you could have done it.

[Anna]

Younger if there was a single income family unit that was intact where a man was gonna provide for you and get you pregnant and give you a life. You couldn't have gotten pregnant when you lived in Bushwick with.

[Dan Allegretto]

But that's not.

[Anna]

I mean you could have black girls.

[Dan Allegretto]

Do it all the time.

[Anna]

I know, but you know, it's not, it's just not. It's not like. It's not up to the. I'm. I sound like Ben Burgess now, which I'm not. Poor people have kids and they should. And it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, you should reproduce. But like it's not solely up to the individual.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's my most lived hard opinion. There's a tweet going around which was like, what's your most libtard opinion? And there's like this right wing talking point that like actually abort because the right wing is generally against abortion. They're like pro life. But they're. They actually like make a carve out for abortions because it like affects minorities. Like minorities be getting abortions. So they're like. It's good that like these people who we don't like or like dysgenic. Whatever.

[Anna]

Well, there's graciously people in eugenicists. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

I actually think that, like, it's good when people across the board be having kids.

[Anna]

Yeah. Of course that's not Lipharted. That's pro life.

[Dasha]

Which again circles back to being a dinosaur. Could we take a bathroom break? Is that okay?

[Anna]

Let's take another.

[Dasha]

A couple more calls.

[Anna]

But we have two more. Let's take another break, kind of. Please, please, please.

[Dan Allegretto]

This is a really remarkable evening because I'm used to go to the bathroom.

[Anna]

Yeah, but you're so dehydrated from all the alcohol. Okay, I'm pausing. We're back.

[Dasha]

Oh, we're back. Okay.

[Anna]

Okay.

[Dasha]

All right.

[Anna]

We got some more questions, I think.

[Caller 1]

Hey, ladies. Would you date someone you didn't find physically attractive? Thanks.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is that SNL Pat?

[Dasha]

Was that like Melissa McCarthy? Who was that? Ladies, you don't want physical. I mean. No. Honestly, no.

[Anna]

Huh.

[Dasha]

I went on a couple dudes recently with someone who was like, not unattractive at all.

[Anna]

But to find physically attractive.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, true.

[Anna]

Like someone who, you know, I'm a.

[Dasha]

I'm a tall man with a certain build and he was just. Was smaller and slightlier. We had a lot in common and stuff. But I just wasn't fawning.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And it's not his problem.

[Anna]

Sure.

[Dasha]

But it, you know, it did come down to like, I'm not fantasizing about this. There's no fantasy. Also, there's no, like, I just don't want to do it. So. Yeah. I think there has to be a sexual component. Like, I mean, come on.

[Dan Allegretto]

Can I say an evil thing? Like, I think that's sexual attract. Attraction is not the same thing as physical attraction.

[Anna]

I think you. Well, maybe someone can be objectively physically unattractive and can have a charm about them.

[Dasha]

Okay. I possess that too. There's. There's men that I think are probably objectively that I would like easily. But no, like, conventionally attractive.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

But it's like wasn't feeling the vibe.

[Anna]

For sure in that way. I agree. Yeah. I wouldn't date someone that I had no. Like, couldn't muster.

[Dasha]

How could. How could you.

[Anna]

But like, there have been people in my past who maybe I wasn't super attracted to, but who like won me over, became more attractive to me through their personality.

[Dasha]

Stand up comedy.

[Dan Allegretto]

Consistently, like holding you hostage, badger you.

[Dasha]

Enough describing Stockholm syndrome.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

But women will date anything.

[Anna]

But it does it is really nice to be in a relationship with someone that you are physically attracted to. Yeah. I will say that's. I. That is.

[Dan Allegretto]

This is rare.

[Anna]

This is ideal. That's is. I see why people do that. Yeah. And that is ideal. Yeah.

[Dasha]

I think, you know, you can be maybe because this is what my friends were talking like. Oh, you have to like, give it time. I'm like, listen.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, you don't.

[Dasha]

I'm middle aged.

[Dan Allegretto]

People are like, we're doing a break.

[Dasha]

Is telling me it's like fine that I don't. Don't.

[Anna]

I'd say the opposite is true. That you have to be so attracted to someone that. Because with time you lose attraction to people.

[Dasha]

Absolutely.

[Dan Allegretto]

So you have to start off people.

[Anna]

Exactly. You have to start off with such.

[Dasha]

A high base level and chances are you're probably mid too. Everyone's mid.

[Anna]

Everyone needs to lower their.

[Dasha]

If you're calling to a podcast, you're absolutely middle, probably. And you know, that's fine.

[Anna]

Or maybe you are.

[Dasha]

I'm too.

[Anna]

Maybe you have a. Something is wrong with you.

[Dasha]

I'm like a New York five. I think I'm a five.

[Anna]

No, no.

[Dasha]

LA six. Rochester, New York. Like 8.5.

[Dan Allegretto]

Good skin.

[Anna]

You think you're hotter in LA?

[Dasha]

Yeah. No. Oh, no. The men love me in LA. They're. They're clamor.

[Dan Allegretto]

I don't know. The gay scene is like in any of these cities.

[Dasha]

They just, just are captivated by my candor and like, they're all conformist lies. Silent and like annoying. I'm like, oh, I'm talking like, oh, okay. We like that.

[Anna]

You're not a New York.

[Dasha]

I'm New York 5. No, I really. Okay, so what number am I? Don't tell me, tell me.

[Anna]

Seven.

[Dasha]

Six.

[Dan Allegretto]

Seven.

[Dasha]

Seven.

[Dan Allegretto]

I was gonna go seven.

[Dasha]

Seven at most. I'll take seven.

[Anna]

Seven's good.

[Dasha]

Seven's good.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's good.

[Anna]

It's above average seven's you know, upper medium.

[Dasha]

I'm not like mincing on the cobblestone streets of Soho going to Equinox as a male model. That's a 10.

[Anna]

Those. That's. Is that a 10, though? Like, that is like.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is your rejection not your personally, but is one's rejection of conventional attractiveness a cope.

[Dasha]

I don't really understand the question.

[Anna]

What is cope in a partner? Yeah, no, well, cope is like a.

[Dasha]

Twitter thing that I never really. My God, I don't know.

[Anna]

That you can't do better. So you convince yourself that, like, you're attracted to people that are less Attractive, objectively.

[Dasha]

I, I, by the way, for the record, I've like, hooked. I've done way outside of my league so many times. Same like same actually, more often than not that we're looking at Antonio Sabato.

[Anna]

And who are these, these mattresses?

[Dan Allegretto]

Dan, can you back me up on this?

[Anna]

Have you ever been with a guy this attractive?

[Dasha]

You've never dated a fugly guy?

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I just be having the hot boyfriends.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You ever been with a guy in.

[Dan Allegretto]

The vein I need to.

[Anna]

Have you ever been with a guy that looks like that?

[Dasha]

A guy that looks like Antonio Savado Jr. In the Calvin Klein era? No. But like, honestly, when I was like 25, going to like the gay bars in Williamsburg, I. I mopped up, I had a full head of hair. I was thin. I was wearing a little leather jacket.

[Dan Allegretto]

Deep V. It's so easy, by the way. It's so easy to convince people that you're attractive if you just like act the part. You don't even have to be like.

[Dasha]

No, but I lost my looks, you know, and then I had to like replace it with wrong. I didn't completely lose them, but like, you know, I maybe better at chatting than I was back in the day.

[Anna]

No, the gays are. The gay community is sick and twisted.

[Dan Allegretto]

They're uniquely neurotic because there's like, they're so hung up on, like these like.

[Anna]

Fullness and looks and that's all wrong. Like, you're so hot. You are.

[Dasha]

I, I think that too.

[Dan Allegretto]

I'm not totally suffer from autogynephilia or we think we're like way hotter.

[Anna]

If you were straight, maybe I wouldn't be walking down the aisle two days from now, you know, Maybe would make.

[Dasha]

It roll a great.

[Anna]

Maybe I'd be holding out hope for.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah, for Dan Al.

[Dasha]

Well, unfortunately.

[Anna]

Unfortunately.

[Dasha]

Built differently. Wrong.

[Anna]

You know, Ships in the night.

[Dasha]

Lord.

[Anna]

Okay, this is the last one. So excited.

[Dasha]

One final question.

[Caller 2]

That's a male question, but it's something I've been thinking about a lot recently. What do you think a Roman Catholic who is a male homosexual is to do? Should we become priests? Or should we be celibate lay people? Or should we keep having sex and live in mortal sin and just feel really bad about it? Or should we do that and not feel bad about it?

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Caller 2]

Jack Mason says one thing and Pariah the doll says another, and it really stresses me out. So I would love your guys's input. Congratulations on everything. You guys always do a great job.

[Dasha]

Bye.

[Anna]

Bye.

[Dasha]

This Is your fault.

[Dan Allegretto]

I. You know, Matthew was a guest on the podcast. I don't know why he has to call in now. Nothing.

[Dasha]

Sorry. I. I was Dasha again. This is your fault.

[Anna]

This is not my fault.

[Dasha]

Created this man.

[Anna]

I didn't test tube.

[Dasha]

And now he's, like, concerned. He's like, what do I do?

[Anna]

He seems.

[Dasha]

I don't know what to do. I have no backbone. I have nothing. I can't possibly.

[Dan Allegretto]

These other people on the Internet.

[Anna]

This is wrong.

[Dasha]

Like, why are you a Catholic? Well, I mean, like, you can just be one from Bert, but like, it seems like there's no conviction. It's kind of like, well, what do I do? And like, do you like me? We like you. We like you. We like you. We love.

[Anna]

You're fine.

[Dasha]

You're so great. You were no one born in the.

[Anna]

You were. God elected you to be.

[Dan Allegretto]

Sexual hangups people be having.

[Anna]

You shouldn't be like, unrepentant sinner if you are gonna be Catholic, you know, you shouldn't be. Like, there's.

[Dan Allegretto]

There's a natural conflict between, well. Well, being religious and being gay, you.

[Anna]

Know, but there are gay people in the church and I don't think all the priests of the Catholic Church, of the Roman Catholic Church, but it's.

[Dan Allegretto]

It's not.

[Dasha]

It's true.

[Anna]

I don't think, like, when Christians get on their, like, homophobia tip, it's like you lose sight of the fact that we all are, like, bound to. Like, we all were born in sin.

[Dan Allegretto]

We're all mundane, fallible beings.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Like, this is like a new thing. In the last, like 10ish years, though. 15.

[Anna]

It's not a new thing.

[Dasha]

Maybe like gay people.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, I feel this is an ongoing thing.

[Anna]

It's a trend.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

It's in the. In the consciousness.

[Dasha]

Like, we put enough pressure on, like, the forces at large that like.

[Dan Allegretto]

But you have to ask yourself, as a gay guy, why do you seek to be religious?

[Anna]

Well, yeah.

[Dasha]

I don't know.

[Anna]

I mean.

[Dan Allegretto]

And if you are truly religious, then you have to recuse yourself.

[Dasha]

Like, because they listen to Dasha. She got in their head. She's like, and Jack and all these other people. I listen to podcasts and now I'm this person.

[Anna]

Yeah, you should.

[Dasha]

Screen time.

[Anna]

Dunstan checks in, only check out. I mean, you can be gay and Catholic, many such cases.

[Dasha]

I think I technically am. Am.

[Anna]

You are.

[Dasha]

Yeah. I would like to, you know, go into a church and, like, light a candle and say a prayer.

[Anna]

You can absolutely do that.

[Dasha]

I'm probably not going to Masses, but, like, in, you know, in 20 years, maybe that'll be different. You know, I would love to be.

[Anna]

Andy Warhol was a Eastern right Catholic, all right, who went to masses, but.

[Dan Allegretto]

He was, like, asexual.

[Anna]

Exactly. He, like, lived his truth in his.

[Dan Allegretto]

Own, like, conservative right wing person who under no circumstances permitted people of aberrant sexualities into my faith, which I don't have. But I like the gay guys.

[Dasha]

I wonder if, like, Tim Gunn and, like, Bill Cunningham were Catholics, too, because, like, they're. To me, they're like the very talented, interesting gay guys.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Tim Gunn is a guy. Well, you were talking about how you.

[Anna]

I've been watching Project Runway and then I was. I was at a trivia night at the place. I was drinking five beers.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Flight.

[Anna]

At my flight of beers, they had a trivia night and they had some prompt that was like, under the Gun is a spin off of what show. And I had never seen under the Gun. Didn't really know, but I immediately knew. I. So I was like, holy. Of course Tim Gunn had a spin off of Roger Gorman. This is exactly what they're talking about. I was right.

[Dasha]

I just rewatched Making the Cut, the Amazon show with High Patty Klum and Tim Gunn. Like, the prize is like a $1 million.

[Anna]

Tim Gunn is like, it's not even that much on project.

[Dasha]

What do you mean? Sorry, what?

[Dan Allegretto]

Tim Gunn, he's like a classic repressed.

[Dasha]

Oh, yeah, totally.

[Anna]

He reminds me of my Weimaraner.

[Dasha]

When I first moved to New York. I was. It was like week one in New York City. I was in the Flat iron neighborhood, and I was standing behind him. Whoa. Pinstripe suit and, like, a jacket. I was just. I. I wanted to just, like, grab him and be like, you are the most important person in my life. Like, he is.

[Anna]

You guys.

[Dasha]

Inform.

[Anna]

You guys.

[Dasha]

Wait, wait, D. What's happening on your phone? She's on the phone.

[Anna]

Tim Gun's father was in the FBI.

[Dasha]

Oh.

[Anna]

He was an FBI agent and then was a ghost writer for J. Edgar Hoover. But though he identified as gay, he was raised in an intensely homophobic household. And he made a video for the It Gets Better project that said he attempted suicide at age 17 by swelling over 100 pills.

[Dan Allegretto]

Tim Gunn.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Yeah. And he did not come out until he was 29. I don't know how you think I was correct.

[Dan Allegretto]

He's a repressed.

[Anna]

Well, he's. Yeah. I mean, he's probably not. I don't know if he's like, it's Hard to say.

[Dasha]

Different time. He's like, probably 70 years old now. It's like, you know, know, can't really compare.

[Anna]

He describes himself as Christian.

[Dasha]

I think he had, like, a big love and then it was lost. And then he just never tried to bound back.

[Anna]

Right? Which, like, he wrote a book called Guns Golden Rules in which he discusses his faith. And he has publicly stated that he's celibate, which some associate with his relationship. I would love to have him. Oh, my God, I would love to have him go on the podcast. Holy.

[Dasha]

All I do every day, all day, is watch Project Runway on the Amazon Prime. They have the channel.

[Anna]

I started watching Project Runway because Elena Velez, making my dress for the reception, sent me to Mood to get fabric.

[Dasha]

Thanks, Mood.

[Anna]

And I was like, mood, like, make it work. Like, I have to go to Mood and I have to look at the fabrics.

[Dasha]

Wait, why did you have to do that?

[Anna]

Well, there was a specific, like, stretch and type of fabric that I needed to get. And, like, I. She wanted me to pick it because. Whatever.

[Dasha]

Okay, sure. Yeah. I don't know how this works. I've never.

[Dan Allegretto]

Me neither.

[Anna]

But I went to Mood and then I was like, I gotta go home and watch Project rolling.

[Dasha]

And there's a dog. The dog that lives there is like this old, like, pug. And its name. Oh, God, what's the name? It's like, I didn't see the.

[Anna]

I didn't see a dog. It might be dead.

[Dasha]

Sashel. It's like sachet. It's like a. Whatever. It's crazy.

[Anna]

I've been talking about Project a lot.

[Dan Allegretto]

Some gay guys.

[Dasha]

I don't know, some fashion. I'm not sure this is a glory. How did you feel walking there was as spectacular as.

[Anna]

It felt. Very. Some of the other fabric stores I went to were more inclusive. And this had. There was like. There was two, like, trans people in the elevator discussing how tall they were from, like, Long Island. They were like, I'm tall, but I'm not that tall. And she's like, well, I'm tall for a model. And they were like, like tranny models that were there getting, like, fabric for something. And like every. It was like very. It was very. It was. It felt very Mood. And it was very chaotic. But it was like, you have to ask someone to help you. And you're. If you're not, you have to ask.

[Dan Allegretto]

A middle aged Bengali guy to help you.

[Anna]

He's like, please, can you. I can't even lift the. You know. Whereas some of the other ones that you like can bring them a swatch and they kind of take care of it for you. But mood doesn't do you any favors because they have the reputation.

[Dasha]

Right.

[Anna]

But if you're a gay guy. Yeah. Just as long as you don't deny the sin in your life, you can be Catholic.

[Dan Allegretto]

What do you mean if you don't deny the sin in your life as.

[Anna]

Long as you're not like, it's not a sin to be gay. But if you say I struggle with the sin of homosexuality and I like want to be participate in overloads.

[Dasha]

Yeah. That's a huge thing. That's like something you can't really like prescribe or like tell anyone how to like figure that out.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's my question.

[Anna]

But like, we all have a sin in our, like I, you know, we.

[Dan Allegretto]

All have sin if it's a natural phenomenon. Well, how, how could it be a sin?

[Anna]

It's Catholics.

[Dan Allegretto]

Bottom of whether homosexuality is a genetic thing or an environmental thing.

[Anna]

I don't think we're going to crack.

[Dan Allegretto]

We're not. But if it is a genetic thing, then that's not a sin. I think some small portion of the population has to be homosexual by definition.

[Anna]

But I would say so many things are sins.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

Including homosexuality. Including like aberrant sexual urges. Non procreative straight sex. Like basically everything besides praying and like lighting a candle is a sin.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

You know, are you going to wear.

[Dasha]

White on your wedding? That's probably a sin too.

[Anna]

That's like a made up thing. But it's not. Yeah. People, it's ironic. It's not a sin to be ironic. But it is a sin to have tons of premarital sex. You know, which.

[Dan Allegretto]

But yes, including straight people. So.

[Anna]

Yeah, it's not. I don't make a special distinction for homosexuality as like a unique sin. I think like it's one of many.

[Dan Allegretto]

Wait, I do.

[Anna]

No, Anna, you say you, you're taking the genetic.

[Dan Allegretto]

I mean, I'm a huge fag hag. But if. Okay, wait, I'm so drunk I can't articulate.

[Anna]

We're all sinner. That's the point of being Christian is that every single person is a sinner.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah. But some people, except for Jesus and Mary in a distinct way called having gay sex.

[Anna]

It's not that distinct from. Because I mean, having anal sex as a. Yeah. Normal person.

[Dan Allegretto]

Just by definition also implies only procreative sex, which God knows we don't always have.

[Anna]

Some Catholics think how oral sex is sodomy.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

Oh my God. Can you like I see myself.

[Anna]

Lord have mercy.

[Dasha]

I feel like life is like kind of like the rest. Unfair. I always just. I think that life probably got stuck in like the 1800s. And the role of homosexuals is like, you're kind of like hiding behind a tree waiting to like suck a straight guy off. That's all you should ever hope for is like, you get true blow a guy.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

And. And now we're at the point. I mean the calls we've been listening to is like, I'm in Canada, I'm trying to go to China and like find a baby.

[Anna]

We've been together for eight years.

[Dasha]

Just stay behind the trees.

[Dan Allegretto]

When we have guests like Dan Allegretto.

[Anna]

So true.

[Dan Allegretto]

Like they're, they're singing the gospel of being like thin and fertile and Republican.

[Dasha]

I'm very thin around here. I'm not Thomas.

[Anna]

That's, you know. And being a straight woman with kind of a gay orientation, the role of.

[Dasha]

A homosexual in, in life. I'm always questioning. I'm just like, what, what are we? Where are like, what it is?

[Anna]

Well, that's kind of what this guy's.

[Dasha]

I like to be like, I want to be hiding behind a tree. Generally I'm like, boop, I'll pop out, suck someone off. And that's it. I pop back out, find the tree. And I don't know if there's like this is even translating, but in practice.

[Dan Allegretto]

Dan, you will hate to hear this, but in practice, you were a more Christian like person than most people.

[Dasha]

Yeah, probably because I was raised right into my head, you know. Also hated it the entire time mostly.

[Anna]

I know, but it's like a formative part of your character.

[Dasha]

Not a priest, but like someone above a priest.

[Anna]

Bishop.

[Dasha]

Bishop. He came to. This is the only time. This is like also when all the like sex scandals came out in like the Catholic Church. My family never once asked me like, were you ever molested by a priest?

[Dan Allegretto]

Why would they.

[Dasha]

Well, well, everyone was getting.

[Dan Allegretto]

They wanted.

[Anna]

It wasn't a problem in the Ukrainian community. I sound like Putin now. It was an Irish issue, but a.

[Dasha]

Bishop came to town.

[Anna]

I'm telling you, the, the Irish Roman Catholic issue.

[Dasha]

A bishop came to town and he put his ring out and all the older boys had to kiss his ring and I kissed an elderly man's ring. And that was the only time.

[Anna]

That's all right.

[Dasha]

That is our brief conversation at breakfast at my grandparents house. They're like, yeah, we don't know if we liked that so much that like, oh, our little boy kissed that's why. Did you hear that? Oh, I'm not gonna kiss the ring. I'm never gonna kiss the ring. But like, I literally kissed the ring. I was like, this is icky. This is like very badly awful. You know what I mean?

[Anna]

But that wasn't a sex thing. That's just a traditional.

[Dasha]

Not, not a sex thing, though. That isn't you kind of camera sex or anything from.

[Anna]

It's so true. That is. Yeah.

[Dasha]

Kiss the. There's a power play and I mean.

[Anna]

Of course, the mortification. Catholicism is very erotic.

[Dasha]

Yeah.

[Anna]

On many levels.

[Dasha]

I'll kiss your ring at your wedding.

[Anna]

We don't need you to do that. That's not good.

[Dasha]

I'll do it. I'll do it again.

[Anna]

No, no, no need.

[Dan Allegretto]

Is also going to come out two weeks after she's made.

[Dasha]

Oh, that's great. Yeah. But like, imagine like the image of like, I mean, I guy.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

A little boy kissing a grown man's ring is like, maybe it's. It's not aging well. I'll say it's not aging well.

[Anna]

People are still doing it.

[Dasha]

Yeah. Well, I did it.

[Anna]

They're out there.

[Dasha]

The ring I kissed, I was like.

[Dan Allegretto]

You should be happy.

[Dasha]

I remember being like, I don't want to. To do this. It felt like, honestly, it felt like.

[Anna]

Don't you think it's good to do things you don't want to do?

[Dan Allegretto]

It depends.

[Anna]

It builds character.

[Dasha]

It's led me to this point my life where I'm a middle aged man hosting a podcast that no one listens to.

[Anna]

That's not true.

[Dasha]

No, people do be.

[Anna]

I, I've actually, people do be listening to your podcast.

[Dan Allegretto]

You're a beloved character.

[Anna]

You're an amazing podcaster. I'm really so impressed by the stamina. It's, it's just, you know, the strength of character to do it. But if I had to say, if Anna goes to the bathroom, I'm like, I'm like, I, like, can't talk like that. You are able to do a podcast mostly by yourself.

[Dasha]

You're able to monologue 95 by myself.

[Anna]

That's like a genius.

[Dasha]

Thank you. I mean, it's.

[Anna]

In the olden days. If you were. If God elected you to be born in a different era, you'd be making like spoken words for being a homosexual. No, you would have been like a covert homo and like a wild, you know, like some, like a court jester.

[Dasha]

A high tree, all sorts.

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

It's just like that's how I feel even in this current day I'm like, I don't. I like to look kind of normal, passing, but like, I'm norm.

[Anna]

Core.

[Dasha]

Covert. I like to be covert.

[Anna]

Yes. Encrypted.

[Dasha]

But I'm not saying that people shouldn't, like, be out and proud, but, like.

[Dan Allegretto]

No, they shouldn't.

[Dasha]

Me.

[Dan Allegretto]

That's my big issue with gay rights.

[Anna]

No, no.

[Dan Allegretto]

Proud. I love gay guys, but, like, they shouldn't be that proud.

[Anna]

Well, pride is one of the biggest sins, actually, and we're all guilty of it. And the. The gay guys are the only ones.

[Dasha]

Who made it down to, like, a Pride weekend. And I also think it used to be we can do a long week. We do a long weekend for Black History Month and Pride.

[Anna]

We do one day for women, a weekend for gays. Women get a day. One day.

[Dasha]

And you guys are fine. We don't need a.

[Anna]

A month.

[Dasha]

We don't need a weekend for women.

[Dan Allegretto]

A month Cheapens the trauma.

[Anna]

Exactly.

[Dasha]

It's too long.

[Anna]

One day.

[Dasha]

How is there to.

[Dan Allegretto]

No people forget? It's Pride month.

[Anna]

Pride used to be a week. Yeah, it used to be short.

[Dasha]

Just give it a. Well, I'll take a weekend. Long weekend, though.

[Anna]

Like long four days.

[Dasha]

Thursday to Tuesday.

[Anna]

Come on. Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. That's five days.

[Dasha]

That's. That's like 20 something gay guy.

[Anna]

It's a normal weekend.

[Dasha]

That's a normal weekend.

[Anna]

Okay, fine.

[Dasha]

Tuesday. Yeah, you're like, working a full time, like, PR job. Yeah, right?

[Anna]

Yeah, yeah. Actually, don't give them a month. Give them like five days off in a row.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Anna]

From their, like, email HR jobs to go suck off straight guys. And that would be way more LGBTQA plus positive than like a whole month of like, ambient rainbow stuff.

[Dasha]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[Anna]

Let's just give them some days off. Like the Jews. Give them some special holidays.

[Dasha]

The Jews do be having like, so many holidays, which I love because, like, as a car owner in New York City, sometimes like a random Jewish holiday hits you. Yeah.

[Dan Allegretto]

You get the.

[Anna]

Oh, yeah, it's Tuesday.

[Dasha]

I don't have to move the car, like parallel park or whatever.

[Dan Allegretto]

Yeah.

[Dasha]

I want a free Palestine. I want to.

[Anna]

I want a free parking spot. What about a free parking spot? Anyway.

[Dasha]

Well, God, let's call. Are we calling?

[Anna]

I have to. I have to drunk. I have to go to.

[Dasha]

Oh, I know. I feel like when I stand up from this chair.

[Anna]

Uhhuh.

[Dasha]

I might fall over.

[Anna]

No.

[Dasha]

Well, no, but we went for a while.

[Anna]

I know it's a hard job at someone.

[Dasha]

We've been drinking the. There's like skin contact wine.

[Anna]

The animal skin contact. Kombucha. Hard kombucha. Red wine, orange wine.

[Dasha]

Oh, my God. Yeah, I love that vibe. I like parent wine. Just like shitty red wine.

[Dan Allegretto]

Me too. I hate skin.

[Dasha]

I hate why you buy this crap.

[Anna]

Because it's like what was you buy. It's what you do. It's just what getting married. It's just something you do. You drink the orange wine, you. Well, we'll see you in hell.

[Dan Allegretto]

See you in hell.

[Dasha]

Wait, no, hold on. Well, guys, if you like this, if you've made it this far, please subscribe to my Patreon.

[Anna]

Definitely. If you're at 2 hours and 51 minutes, you're gonna love.

[Dasha]

There are also free episodes on Spotify and itunes. Thank you.

[Anna]

So you can get a taste, ladies. See if you like it.

[Dasha]

Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you to death so much. And see you in hell.