Hannah (4:15)

Yes.

Sam (4:16)

And I don't want to make you feel, dearest patrons, that we're giving you leftovers because we're not.

Hannah (4:21)

No, no, no.

Sam (4:21)

I think we thought it wasn't good and then we finally looked into it and we were incorrect.

Hannah (4:27)

It is very good. So yeah. Welcome to your Patreon bonus episode for the month of December. Hope you're all having had are about to have a wonderful Christmas. But let's talk about some people who didn't.

Sam (4:43)

Two days before Christmas, Christmas Eve, Eve 1929, a figure dressed in red got out of a car on the main street of Cisco, Texas. The town's kids recognized him straight away. That red fur coat, pointy hat and big white beard. It could only be Santa Claus himself. Did you grow up calling him Santa?

Hannah (5:05)

Probably.

Sam (5:06)

I've always said Father Christmas.

Hannah (5:08)

Oh, really?

Sam (5:09)

Or Farmer Christmas when I was younger because I didn't understand. I don't know whether that's a northern thing and my mom's northern. Cause I do feel like more people in the south say Santa, but I always thought that that was the American term and Father Christmas was the English one. But possibly. But definitely when I moved down South, I was like. And I also had a super broad Yorkshire accent, so I would have said, valak, isn't it?

Hannah (5:31)

No, we. I don't think we. Like, we did Christmas, but I don't think there was, like, a big emphasis in our house on the Santa myth. And sorry, if they're children listening, you probably shouldn't have listened to this episode in front of them. No, I don't think there was. I don't think there was much chat of that in the Barlow household, to be perfectly honest with you.

Sam (5:49)

Did you ever have Santa would come around on a sleigh to your house?

Hannah (5:53)

I don't remember ever believing in it. I don't remember ever being told that Santa's gonna drop presents off. I don't think it was until we were probably, like, out of the age in which you would believe in Santa or Father Christmas that my parents probably started doing Christmas presents and doing Christmas properly. Like, I just don't think we did, like, what. I moved here when I was like, 6. Prime time to believe. And I think it was just too, too early on in our journey into the uk. So I think by the time any Christmas chat was going on, it was too late. I don't remember that. I don't have any childhood memories of being excited for Santa.

Sam (6:36)

Interesting. Well, I kind of had, I would think, the longest consistent run of Father Christmas in history because my brother is 10 years younger than me.

Hannah (6:44)

Yeah, that'll do it.

Sam (6:46)

And no one wanted to give the game away, of course. So I got a solid five years of Father Christmas, more than I should.

Hannah (6:52)

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Sam (6:53)

But we definitely fed into the, like, Father Christmas Tooth Fairy. Huge. Used to write letters to my Tooth fairy.

Hannah (7:02)

Nothing.

Sam (7:02)

And my mum would write in teeny, tiny writing like she was the Tooth Fairy.

Hannah (7:06)

See, that's adorable. I didn't get any of that. Don't have any memories. My parents were like, you're hiding teeth under your pillow. That's gross. Just put them in the bin. No, there was none of that. So if I ever have children, I'm gonna max out on all of them. Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Father Christmas.

Sam (7:22)

It's quite good to get children to do things without them understanding that it's you, the parent, or in my case, eldest, making you do so. When my brother was real big into dummies, when we call them noo, noos again, I think I. Whatever. So I had to be the new noo fairy and explain to him that I needed them to plug the holes in my roof.

Hannah (7:43)

Got it.

Sam (7:44)

And in the end he did give them up, but he was very upset. But he did feel quite a sense of, okay, I really need to help this Nunu fairy sort her house out.

Hannah (7:53)

It's a good lesson. It's, you know, sacrificing something for the good of somebody else. That's a nice lesson.

Sam (7:58)

Yeah.

Hannah (7:59)

And, yeah, if I ever have children, I'm very excited to see their excitement at all this bullshit.

Sam (8:05)

I will never. He must have been four or something.

Hannah (8:07)

Four or five maybe, which is too old.

Sam (8:11)

But I will never forget his face when he was telling me what happened. And he just sort of went, you know that face that children pull when you can see that they're understanding something? He did that for ages. And then he only had a lisp because of the new news, and he just goes, will she bring them back?

Hannah (8:30)

No, she needs them. Aw. See? And now there's all those things, like, I think, you know, our age group of people that have had kids are like, really already maxing out on this. And they have all of those things where you, like, put powder down and you do the little footprints to make them feel like, oh, Santa came. And it's like, that's all cute.

Sam (8:51)

It is cute. We used to do the carrot for the reindeer. And then once I got old enough, me and my mum had to take it in turns as to whose turn it was to eat the end of the carrot.

Hannah (8:59)

Got it, got it, got it.

Sam (9:03)

Ridiculous. Anyway, my brother is now an electrical engineer and no longer believes in Father Christmas. Or, I mean, maybe he still believes in the new new fairy. I'll ask him. Anyway, these kids were American and it was the twenties, and they would certainly have said Santa Claus and Santa Claus had come two days early to Cisco, Texas. And the kids, desperately excited at the prospect of presents two days early, swarmed around this Father Christmas full of excitement, giving him last minute stocking requests and promising that they'd been good. Oh, and some of them just asked him questions about life at the North Pole. What's your pension scheme? But as the children approached closer, it did appear that something seemed off. Wasn't Santa supposed to be a big, fat, jolly old elf?

Hannah (9:58)

Is he an elf?

Sam (9:59)

I think he's the king elf, isn't he?

Hannah (10:01)

I thought he was a man. He just has elf slaves.

Sam (10:05)

Yes, he does have. He definitely has elf slaves. But isn't he a Kind of fairy, let's find out. Is Saturn elf?

Hannah (10:11)

I am just not up on my my. Like Santa lore. Is Santa an elf? Whether Santa is an elf is a matter of debate, but he is clearly connected to the history of Christmas elves. See, I thought it was like St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas is a man. I don't know. Santa Claus himself is described in line 45 of the 1823 poem A Visit from St Nicholas as a chubby, plump and right old jolly elf. So there you go. Everybody's learnt something.

Sam (10:44)

And I'm pretty sure that poem is where we get quite a lot of the imagery that we still have of him. Anyway, these children might have done, but I don't care. This Santa, though he was not a chubby elf, a chubby man even. He was actually quite gaunt and his thin red coat hung limply off his shoulders. Now, that wasn't right. And under his red coat, this Santa seemed to be wearing a regular man's trousers and brown leather shoes. The jolly old elf wasn't his jolly old self. He answered the kids questions and was nice enough to them, but he wasn't exactly full of Christmas cheer. And he also seemed to be in quite a hurry to get somewhere. What the children didn't know was that this Santa Claus had somewhere to be. He was on his way to rob a bank.

Hannah (11:45)

Bank robberies were rife in Texas back then, and there was a big money reward to be had for any dead bank robbery. No questions asked. So when Santa made off with $150,000, the entire town mopped up. That's right. Twas two days before Christmas and all through the town, all the creatures were stirring to hunt Santa down. What followed was a calamitous string of bungled carjackings, high speed chases, oil field shootouts, a trail of dead and injured townsfolk and mishaps, aplenty, all under the hail of gunfire from the entire town of Cisco, who, in true Texas fashion, were all armed to the teeth and desperate to be the one to nail Santa. And this all culminated in the largest manhunt that Texas had ever seen. This is the wildest rootin tootin, a story you've never heard. One that the Ranger Times called the most spectacular crime in the history of the Southwest, surpassing any in which Billy the Kid or the James boys had ever figured. And honestly, it's insane that the Coen brothers haven't yet turned this into a film. It feels like the perfect plotline for one of theirs.

Sam (13:07)

I was gonna tell you this when we record Jonestown, but I can't wait. If you were to pick a Hollywood actor to be Jim Jones, who would it be?

Hannah (13:16)

Huh? I just. I don't know. I feel like you can do anything with prosthetics these days. I'm going to start watching the Penguin this weekend.

Sam (13:25)

I've heard great things about that.

Hannah (13:26)

Apparently, the final episode of the Penguin is now the highest rated episode of a TV show ever on IMDb.

Sam (13:34)

Wow.

Hannah (13:35)

And that's the final episode. That's the one everyone always hates. Do you know who plays the Penguin? Have you seen pictures of him?

Sam (13:40)

Oh, it's Russell, isn't it?

Hannah (13:42)

No, I'm.

Sam (13:44)

I'm just. I've just got Gladiator in my head. It's Colin Farrell. It is Colin Farrell, and I always get them confused.

Hannah (13:51)

This is what he looks like in it.

Sam (13:52)

Yeah, I heard on a podcast the other day when they were talking about it. Apparently he had to be in makeup for four hours a day to do all the prosthetics, and someone was like, could you not just get a fat guy?

Hannah (14:00)

Yeah. Yep. So I'm like, anyone could play anybody.

Sam (14:03)

Yes.

Hannah (14:04)

But who would I cast as Jim? Maybe based on this? Colin Farrell.

Sam (14:08)

Well, what if I told you it's already happened?

Hannah (14:10)

Oh, and Leo. Ugh. Always, always with the Leo.

Sam (14:17)

And this is a Patreon bonus episode that is not about Jonestown. So I'm going to say this here and not in Jonestown because it may be considered poor taste.

Hannah (14:26)

Okay.

Sam (14:27)

But the director who has been brought on to direct this film also directed welcome to the Jungle. It's not great, is it?

Hannah (14:36)

You've got to tell the people that in Jonestown.

Sam (14:40)

Oh, when I read that, my mouth was on the floor.

Hannah (14:44)

That's amazing. That's amazing. Can you wait? I do feel like if Robin Williams was still alive, he'd be a great Jim Jones.

Sam (14:51)

Oh, yeah. He would have been a great Jim Jones. I was thinking about Ralph Fiennes. Oh, yeah. Want to give your loved ones the presents that they'll really treasure this festive season? You should check out Quince. From Mongolian cashmere sweaters to Italian wool coats, Quince offers timeless, beautifully crafted pieces that will last them for years to come. Because quality never goes out of style. And the best bit, Each piece is made with premium materials from ethical, trusted factories and still priced far below what other luxury brands would charge. When I shop with Quince, I know I'm investing in quality pieces instead of wasting my money on big brand names that are all style over substance. And I might even keep a few cheeky bits for myself. After all, it is Christmas. Find gifts so good that you'll want to keep them with quints. Go to quince.comredhanded for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Redhanded to get free shipping and 365 day returns.

Hannah (15:54)

Quince.com Redhanded this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are a time of familiar traditions, from digging out those well worn Christmas socks to just going a bit harder on the cheese and chocolates in your weekly shop. Some people may have many in their family, while some may have none or are just beginning their own. Either way, it's the perfect time to reflect on those rhythms you slip into every year, maybe even to rewrite them or start your own. And incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help make sure you take time for yourself during what can be a very joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of the year. It's so important to focus on your well being at this time of the year as the stress ramps up. So why not try out BetterHelp this month and end the year with clarity rather than chaos? Its quick questionnaire gets you matched up with the right therapist first time, and the live sessions have an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews this December. Start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off@betterhelp.com redhanded that's betterhelp.com redhanded but anyway, that's nothing to do with any of this. We're talking about the Santa robberies. So yeah, let's go on a wilder than fiction sleigh ride Today of the 1929 Santa Claus bank robbery. Giddy up. Strap in.

Sam (17:26)

Yee haw.

Hannah (17:27)

All of the other.

Sam (17:30)

So like we said, we're in the 1920s and if you know anything about world history, you'll be aware that that was a pretty rough time to be a bank, particularly in the U.S. despite bank robberies being a real cliche of old Westerns, they weren't too common in the early 1900s, but when people get poor, that's when they start robbing shit. The Great Depression was looming and people were getting desperate and banks were seen by some as the enemy. They were the ones foreclosing on people's farms and hoarding all the money. Stories of daring lawless bank robbing gangs spread through the press. And to try and curb that, all of the bank robbers were slapped with hefty bounties. The newly christened FBI offered 10,000 dollary dues for the capture of the leader of the Dillinger gang, which is more than $230,000 in today's money. But despite the big ticket item rewards, by 1929 in Texas, an average of four banks were robbed every day.

Hannah (18:35)

Fucking hell.

Sam (18:38)

So the Texas Bankers association announced that anyone who killed a bank robber would be awarded £5,000. And that's about £90,000 today.

Hannah (18:47)

Thousand dollars seem like the best idea?

Sam (18:49)

No, but they didn't have loads of options.

Hannah (18:54)

We're going to pay all the vigilantes, but. Yeah, you're right. What else were they going to do? I guess.

Sam (18:59)

Well, I actually just had a thought. They could have used that money to get security for the bank.

Hannah (19:03)

This is what I was going to say. Or if the state is paying that, use that money to hire police officers.

Sam (19:09)

I don't know. 1929 was the year that the Great Depression actually hit. So people were very keen to get their hands on this bank robber money. So it was a very risky time to be a bank, but still an even riskier time to be a bank robber. But for 26 year old Marshall Ratliff, robbing was all he knew.

Hannah (19:34)

Marshall Ratliff was a Cisco local. He'd recently been sentenced to 18 years for a previous bank robbery in Valera, Texas. But he was pardoned after only a few months. If you're thinking, well, that's a bit of a stroke of luck, well, you'd be right. Ratcliffe was lucky that he lived at the same time as Governor Miriam Marr Ferguson. Ratliff was one of almost 4,000 prisoners that Ma Ferguson pardoned in her two terms in office. Rumours of bribe taking were never proven. But come on, come on, if you're telling people to go kill them at the same time as catching some of them and then pardoning them.

Sam (20:15)

And your name's Ma Ferguson.

Hannah (20:17)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So despite having the greasiest palms in the West, Maher was actually kind of a trailblazer. She was the first elected female chief executive of Texas, the first ever female state governor in the US and the first to be elected in a general election. Still, she and her husband were eventually investigated for embezzlement and had to pay back a million dollars to Texas citizens.

Sam (20:43)

Wow.

Hannah (20:44)

So, yes, safe to assume that lucky old Marshall Ratliff used some of his remaining bank loot, perhaps to get himself out of that jailhouse.

Sam (20:54)

And no sooner was he out of that than he started drawing up plans for his next heist. One in his hometown, Cisco, Texas. And for that he needed a gang. And his brother Lee was the first name on the slate. But then Lee got himself arrested again, so he was off the table. So Ratliff contacted two other ex cons that he met inside. The 31 year old Henry Helms, who had also been pardoned by Marv Ferguson, and 21 year old Robert Hill. Helms and Hill were in. And then they brought in Louis Davis, a relative of Helms, whose job it was going to be to crack the safe. Something that he had never, ever, ever done before. Louis Davis was a family man in a tight spot. And even though he'd never done a single crime in his life, he needed cash. Badly.

Hannah (21:45)

Since Ratliff knew that he'd be recognized in Cisco, being a local, he needed a disguise. So he asked the woman who ran the boarding house that he was staying in over in Wichita Falls, Josephine Heron, for some help. And what you know, she had a Santa Claus costume that she'd handmade herself a few years before. And so the plan was set. They'd got themselves a nice big getaway car that we'd call a saloon.

Sam (22:15)

Which it should be called in the Texas.

Hannah (22:17)

Yes, quite. But in the US they'd probably call it a sedan.

Sam (22:21)

Well, that's not as fun, is it?

Hannah (22:22)

No, it's not. So the crew would drop Ratliff off in town dressed as Santa, and drive the car to the First national bank of Cisco. There they'd park in the wide alleyway that went down the bank's right side where it met Avenue D, the town's main road. Come on, you're going to call your main road Avenue D that shit. So when Ratliff had subdued everyone inside the bank, the gang would then come through the side door, absolutely rinse the place of cash, jump back into their getaway car and drive off into the sunset with all their lovely loot. Yee haw.

Sam (22:59)

So on December 23, 1927, the gang set off for Cisco. On the way there, Ratliff put on the red coat and the beard. And at around noon, his mates dropped him a few blocks from the bank. And the costume worked like a charm. No one could see Ratliff's face, even though it was broad daylight. And no one thought it was strange to see Santa Claus walking around town in the middle of the day. When we were in Christchurch having that dinner and I was outside and this girl walked past, full clown costume, like big shoes, everything. And I was like, Christchurch is weird, man. And then I was like, oh, it's Halloween. Anyway, when Ratliff finally satisfied the kid's interest and lost the crowd of children, he headed into the bank. One girl on the street saw him go in and she pleaded with her mother to let her follow. So Mrs. BP blazingame and her 6 year old daughter Frances Blazengame went into the bank after Father Christmas. Already inside were two customers, Marion Olsen and Oscar Cliet. And two bank employees called Alex Spears and Jewel Poe Spears. A bank teller looked up and said hello Santa Claus. And Santa Claus did not respond. Two girls then came out of the bookkeeping room, 10 year old Emma Mae Robinson and 12 year old Laverne Comer. And they saw Santa himself standing in silence in the middle of the First national bank of Cisco. Maybe it was because the entire scene was so surreal, but when three men burst in the side door and shouted hands up. Everyone thought that it was some sort of elaborate joke. But the laughter stopped pretty quickly when the gang whipped their guns out.

Hannah (24:50)

One of the gang stood guard while another covered the hostages and the third went up to the teller's window and said, stick em up big boy. I mean it. They started stuffing money and bonds into their sacks while Jolly St Nick went into the office of Spears, the bank teller and grabbed a 45 caliber automatic rifle from under the drawer. He came back and forced Spears to open the vault. Ratliff took everything inside and by the time they were done, Santa's sack was full to bursting with over $12,400 in cash and $150,000 in non negotiable securities. Today that's worth nearly $3 million.

Sam (25:39)

But as they were finishing up one of their hostages, the lady with the best name, Mrs. B.P. blazingame, who had been dragged into the bank by her daughter, made a run for it. She dashed into the bookkeeping room with the little Frances and unlocked the side door. She heard someone behind her shout stop or I'll shoot. But her and Frances darted out of the door anyway, just in time to miss a bullet which sailed past their heads. Blazingame ran straight to the police department, which was just a block away. And on the way she told everyone who would listen that Father Christmas was robbing the First National Bank. You're gonna get sectioned, my girl.

Hannah (26:16)

I am Chief of Police. GE Bit Bedford wasted no time. He grabbed a riot gun and headed down there with two officers, Artie Rio Reddies and George Carmichael, who doesn't seem to get a cool nickname. Unfortunately, they all got down to the bank and covered the exits. They weren't alone. Thanks to the Texas Bankers association and their hefty reward, the people of Cisco, Texas weren't going to miss an opportunity. So they all popped home and got their guns. And before the robbers could leave, the place was already surrounded. Every time the bandits opened the doors, bullets sprayed at them. But they had hostages. So the bank robbers crept out holding a few of their eight hostages in front of them. Marion Olson, who'd been in the bank as a customer that day, remembered one of them holding his hand in front of her face as he shot out with an automatic rifle. Sadly, Marion was shot in the leg by another citizen.

Sam (27:22)

The robbers ordered their hostages into the car. Marion Olson and the other customer managed to wriggle free and escape. The women are really showing the men up in this story. Alex Spears, the bank teller, had been caught in the crossfire as well. He was shot in the jaw and he said he couldn't get in the car. Which just left the two little girls, 10 year old Emma May Robinson and 12 year old Laverne Comer. Santa Claus threw them in the back of his car. After hundreds of bullets had flown through the alleyway, the car lurched out and sped down Avenue D. The bandits were all wounded, but none more than first time criminal family man Louis Davis, who was losing blood really fast in the back alley. Six citizens were badly wounded too. And police chief Bit Bedford and his deputy George Boring Carmichael were even worse. They had been shot several times and they lay in the alley bleeding from their wounds. And they couldn't carry on the chase. Obviously Bit Bedford actually died later on that same day, just a few days before Christmas. And Carmichael followed him into the great beyond a week later.

Hannah (28:38)

So the Santa Claus bandits were away. They threw roofing nails out of the car which punctured the tires of the cars that followed them. It's like some sort of cartoon.

Sam (28:47)

Yeah, it really is. I mean, in my head I've just got the like scenery flats of a western that like one's just fallen over.

Hannah (28:57)

Yeah, which again, why isn't this a Coen brothers film? So they sped off with more money than they could ever spend. It was the largest bank heist ever pulled off in Texas. Or at least it would have been, except for one little snag. They were almost out of petrol, which like. Come on now. Accounts of what happened next here differ. Some generously say that the gas tank had been hit in the rain of gunfire and Therefore, leaked fuel. But others just say that it had been a long drive from Wichita Falls and the group had forgotten to fill up the tank of their getaway car.

Sam (29:38)

Something we all do. We had a particularly hairy moment in New Zealand where, I mean, I just totally forgot about it. And then Sam was driving, he was like. And then we could. I think the closest petrol station was like 35 miles away or something. And we were like, uh huh, yeah. And we did get there and when we were like five minutes away, I.

Hannah (29:58)

Was like, sam, we're gonna make it.

Sam (30:00)

And he was like, I don't know. That light has been on for a long time. And then when we got there, we couldn't figure out how the pump worked.

Hannah (30:05)

Oh my God.

Sam (30:06)

And then eventually we did, and it didn't usually when the tank is full, it clicks.

Hannah (30:11)

Oh my God. Yeah.

Sam (30:12)

And it didn't have that. So me and Sam were just covered in diesel.

Hannah (30:15)

Oh my God. Yeah. It was so bad. It was so bad. Hell, what a journey.

Sam (30:21)

But if I was a getaway driver.

Hannah (30:23)

Yes.

Sam (30:24)

I would probably put it on my list of things, my prep list.

Hannah (30:27)

I agree, I agree. So with a mob after them and bullets still flying, the group had no choice but to switch cars.

Sam (30:37)

The bandits jumped out of their sedan and stopped an Oldsmobile, which is a very real car brand, by the way. We're not just saying it was an old car. And this Oldsmobile was driven by a 14 year old woodrow Wilson Harris. Two things. Firstly, Woodrow Wilson had been the president just six years before. So it's like somebody now being called Barack Obama Harris. And secondly, 14 sounds very, very young to be driving a car. More like a youngsmobile.

Hannah (31:10)

Great.

Sam (31:14)

But I think in America you can still drive really young. Yeah.

Hannah (31:18)

I'm just like, come on. They didn't even know what to do about bank robbers. They're not going to be checking how old somebody is is driving around in 1920.

Sam (31:25)

No, exactly. And I'm sure the little kid drives in Road to Perdition.

Hannah (31:28)

Yeah, I love that film.

Sam (31:30)

Jude Law is a photographer and his surname is Maguire. And Maguires are always baddies whenever they appear in any fictional work. Always, always, always. So I know if there's a character called Maguire in the exposition, I'm like, okay, well, I know what's going to happen here. So he's 14 and he's driving his youngsmobile and he was doing some last minute Christmas shopping for his parents, not for himself. And his grandma was in the back seat and his dad was riding shotgun. His dad could have driven perhaps, but you know, they saw a commotion in the distance and before they knew it, they had guns in their faces. So the Harrises got out of their car and with bullets whipping past them, the bandits transferred first the cash, then the hostages, then the severely injured bandit Louis Davis into the Harris new car. But it was only when they finally finished all of that that the gang realised the keys weren't in the ignition. They'd been had by who else than 14 year old Woodrow Wilson Harris, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, who swiped the keys without them noticing. I don't think I would have done that. I would have given them a keys.

Hannah (32:45)

Oh, fuck no.

Sam (32:48)

So the bandits had to move back bit by bit into their original bullet hole ridden getaway car with zero petrol in it. And Louis Davis by this point had fully blacked out. So they left him in the Harris car and sped off down the road with the two girls in the back. But Louis wasn't the only thing left behind.

Hannah (33:07)

Oh my God.

Sam (33:08)

All of the loot was still in the boot of the Garrus car.

Hannah (33:15)

Oh, what the fuck. So let's first take a second for that monumental series of fuck ups to sink in. And then let's take a moment for Louis Davis. This guy had no criminal record. It was his first ever crime. He got mixed up in what was meant to be a simple heist, got caught in the crossfire and was abandoned and fatally wounded in Woodrow Wilson Harris's Oldsmobile. Davies died on Christmas Day, leaving behind a wife and daughter. So back on the 23rd, our three shit bandits were speeding down the highway with two hostages and zero cash and very much running on fumes. By this point, Hill asked the other two if they were hurt. And one of the girls remembers seeing Ratliff pull down his blood soaked fake beard and say that he'd been shot in the chin and this girl recognized Ratliff from town.

Sam (34:15)

It does feel like quite a small place, doesn't it?

Hannah (34:17)

Yes. Yeah. So the bandits now took a sharp left onto a dirt road and soon turned again into a field. As they drove, the terrain got worse and eventually, with no gas, they came to a stop among thick bush, cactus, mesquite and scrub oak. They told the girls to lie down in the car and cover their eyes with their hands. And presumably by now, having realised that they'd left the money behind and were still the most wanted men in Texas, our bandits set out on foot.

Sam (34:49)

The sheriff of Eastland, which is the county seat, sped with his deputies to the abandoned car and hundreds of Civilians joined the hunt to track the bandits down. People set out on horseback because it's Texas and on foot, hacking through bushland and trees, heading down ravines and canyons looking for the trio. But while half of Eastern county scoured the area too of the posse were in the absolute last place that you would expect to find them. They were back in Cisco under the COVID of darkness. Hill and Helms went back into Cisco, the scene of the crime, to steal another car. And they managed to stay hidden all of Christmas Eve. As the search continued back in town, children meeting Father Christmas in like shops and stuff were overheard asking Santa Claus, why did you rob that bank?

Hannah (35:44)

Then it was Christmas morning. Luckily, three mysterious spirits had visited our bandits overnight, showed them the error of their ways and they woke up vowing to be good for the rest of their lives. Ok, not really. It just got much worse when they were forced to abandon their second car, or third if you count the Oldsmobile they were in for all of 20 seconds. They stopped near a farmhouse. Helms went up and knocked on the door, asking the farmer for help. He said that his car was wrecked and his wife needed a doctor. The farmer, showing all sorts of good Christmas charity, offered Helms his car and even sent his son and nephew along in the car to help. As they drove off, however, Helms drew a pistol and the nephew jumped out the car. Seeing this, the farmer grabbed his shotgun and fired after them, unfortunately only managing to hit his own son's arm. Helms drove on, picking up Ratliff and Hill, and sped off with the farmer's son, Carl Wylie in the back. And for their new hostage, the worst Christmas surprise ever turned into the worst Christmas night ever. Because instead of being at home in front of a roaring fire, watching the Princess switch and drinking Baileys, he joined the wet bandits for a long night of hiding out in the brush. They only had oranges to eat and they didn't even offer Carl one. They wouldn't even light a fire for fear of being seen. And yes, this is Texas, but it still goes below freezing in December.

Sam (37:16)

Yeah, it's desert at night. It's probably fucking unbearable.

Hannah (37:20)

And Carl's been shot in the leg.

Sam (37:22)

Yes.

Hannah (37:22)

Oh, sorry, the arm.

Sam (37:23)

Well, no oranges for you. Still, Carl must have made an impression because the bandits eventually let him go on Boxing Day morning, Ratliff, the Santa bandit who was the most wounded, had stayed behind and sent off the other two to go and steal another car. He had the audacity to give Hillenhelbs detailed instructions on how to rob another sedan. But hours later, having failed miserably, they came back with a teeny one seater roadster. So the three of them did some mental maths and decided that Carl was surplus to requirements. And they shook him by the hand and bid him adieu. Carl naturally went straight to the coppers. He told police what he'd seen, mainly that the bandits were not doing so well. They were badly injured surviving on oranges and the sleet wasn't helping either. Soon enough they popped back into town.

Hannah (38:20)

On the 27th, officers in South Bend saw a single seater car driving up a bridge over the Brassos river. But there were three men inside. The driver, seeing Deputy Sheriff Kai Bradford staring straight at them, slammed on the brakes and started reversing back across the bridge at high speed. He spun the car around and drove away. Officers and citizens alike grabbed their guns and jumped in their cars. The chase was back on. They all drove for a mile shooting back and forth. Then the car turned down a dirt road and went another mile until the road ran out in the middle of an oil field. The bandits got out and pelted across the field towards some trees in the distance. Deputy Sheriff Kai Bradford got out of his car and reach for old Betsy, his prize double barrelled shotgun. With calm precision he raised it and shot Once one of the fugitives fell to the ground. Bradford reloaded and took another shot. And another. The two remaining bandits fell to their knees but got back up and kept going. And before Bradford could reload again, those two had disappeared into the trees.

Sam (39:37)

Bradford walked up to the first bandit he'd felled and it turned out to be Santa Claus himself. The mastermind behind it all. Marshall Ratliff was lying in the snow. He was wounded from six gunshots but he was somehow still breathing. Everyone knows that the best holiday outfits, the one you think about for the rest of your life, that one starts with the right foundations. So why spend the season tugging at digging in bras or shapewear that rolls down or up or in, God forbid, Honey Love give you comfort and confidence. Whether you're in sparkles at a party or cosy jumpers at home with your family. I promise everybody will be pleased to see a Honey Love parcel under the tree this year. I don't trust any other brand to keep me feeling confident on the dance floor at New Year's. Using intelligently designed technology to support your curves whilst being comfortable, Honeylove moves with you through every festive moment. And if you're looking for a wireless T shirt bra that's light as a feather. The all new Cloud Embrace bra is the perfect stocking filler for your loved ones. And let's face it yo self, treat yourself or someone you love this holiday season to honeylove and right now you can save 20%@HoneyLove.com Redhanded just use our exclusive link HoneyLove.com Redhanded and grab your discount. After you order, they'll ask you how you heard about honeylove. So please support our show and let them know that we sent you. Celebrate the season feeling confident and comfortable.

Hannah (41:16)

With Honeylove One in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, make 2025 the year you finally check it off with Babbel, the language app that makes grammar fun and is actually worth your time. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription at Babbel.com TrueCrime get up to 55% off at Babbel.com Truecrime spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com Truecrime rules and restrictions may apply.

Sam (41:49)

One witness called him a walking arsenal. He was carrying five automatic pistols, a shotgun and three cartridge belts. Boyce House, the then editor of the Ranger Times, who quite literally followed this story in a car as it was unfolding, called Ratliff's Stash, the largest arsenal any robber has known to carry in the history of crime in the U.S. i think that's a bit much. Do you have some papers to sell?

Hannah (42:14)

Yeah.

Sam (42:16)

And then, after what was briefly the biggest heist in American history, with the biggest arsenal came the biggest manhunt that Texas had ever seen. And by the way, it stayed Texas's biggest manhunt Ever until 1986, when a serial killer known as the Animal escaped from jail.

Hannah (42:35)

Texas Ranger Captain Tom Hickman led the manhunt along with Ranger Sergeant LT Lone Wolf Gonzalaos.

Sam (42:43)

It's pretty good.

Hannah (42:44)

Yeah, we're back with the cool nicknames. So as well as the Texas Rangers, they also sent out dozens of sheriffs, a total unit of more than a hundred men. They also had more than 50 officers waiting in the wings to take over so that the bandits wouldn't get the chance to rest. They also sent out bloodhounds and even planes to find the two remaining bandits. And of course, there were hundreds more civilians out there hunting night and day too. Two of these men got a little over excited and accidentally discharged their weapons, bringing the total number of Wounded civilians to eight. And eventually a trail was found.

Sam (43:26)

The trail revealed that these outlaws were seriously running out of steam. The bandits footprints were close together showing that they were tired and weak. And the footprints also showed that the bandits had to get on their hands and knees to crawl up even the slightest incline. And eventually on December 30th in Graham, Texas, how Americans say Graham's gives me nightmares.

Hannah (43:52)

Graham.

Sam (43:55)

Alexander Graham. Bau. On the subject of Alexander Gren Bell, and that is how you say it when in olden times when you were on the phone, you did not say goodbye, you said that is all. And I've started ending voice notes like that. And then I've now graduated it to do you know in the secret Garden when Sarah like addresses the self and she's like I have spoken. You may depart. I do that now to your servants. To my voice notes. Servants, yes. And it was in Graham, Texas that Hill and Helms were found finally hiding in a barn. Their eyes were bloodshot and their clothes were bloody and torn. They'd barely eaten for days, apart from the Christmas oranges and a quick swipe from a cornfield on the 27th.

Hannah (44:47)

That's going to give you some savage diarrhea. You're just eating raw corn. No.

Sam (44:55)

Hill had three pistols on him and Helms had four. But they went without much of a fight. A headline in the Fort Worth Star Telegram read, remaining Cisco Bandits easily taken burn. Well, what did they expect?

Hannah (45:10)

Yeah. So with eight citizens wounded, two policemen and one bandit dead and bullets having showered across Eastland county for a full week, the Santa Claus robbers were finally caught. And yeah, their defence definitely had their work cut out. One thing they did lean on at trial, especially with Hill, who we'll come back to, was that the dead bank Robber award had been controversial. A well known Ranger called Frank Hamer had been campaigning against it for years, calling it the banker's murder machine. And the Bandits defence teams argued that it led them to take desperate measures. And to be fair, it certainly didn't help. You could argue that at least part of the carnage was down to the frenzy of the mob. Surprisingly, considering Marshal Ratliff's significant injuries, he was the first to recover. So he hit the stand first. Charged with armed robbery, he was looking at a potential death sentence, but the jury was feeling generous and gave him 99 years instead. But that wasn't the end of the story for Ratliff by the way. So put a festive pin in that for the moment. Next up, 31 year old Henry Helms was next at trial. And he wasn't quite so lucky. When his death sentence was announced, his wife sobbed. But Helms didn't react at all. Instead he just calmly lit a cigarette. And then he was moved straight onto death row.

Sam (46:39)

And that brings us to the trial of 21 year old Robert Hill. He was the only one who pleaded guilty. At his trial, a court appointed attorney asked him to describe his upbringing. Hill said that he'd been orphaned at 8 and then sent to the Gatesville State School for Boys, which was mostly a reformatory for criminally convicted minors. Essentially a juvenile prison which also accepted a few foster kids here and there. And essentially he uses that unfair exposure to all things seedy from a very young age. In his defense, he said that he had been arrested for petty theft shortly after he left Gatesville. And it was then whilst in prison that he met Marshal Ratliff. He admitted that he'd been armed at the bank robbery, but he said he only used the guns to fire into the ceiling of the bank to stop people from coming in. And he had shot back when they were changing cars, but only after he'd been shot himself. And that worked on the jury who weakened Hill's sentence from death to 99 years. And the judge told the jury that Robert Hill would make a good prisoner. He wasn't. Shortly after he was jailed, Robert Hill made his first escape attempt. A reporter for the Associated press covering Hill's 1928 trial called him the Jean Valjean of the Santa Claus robbery.

Hannah (48:04)

But back to Marshall Ratliff, who like we said, didn't get away that easy. He soon was back at trial for contributing to the death of the two police officers, Bip Bedford and George Carmichael. Weirdly, the trials for each count happened in different venues. So a jury in Anson, Texas gave him a second life sentence for the killing of George Carmichael. And another jury in Alberlin, Texas for the death of Bit Bedford sentenced Ratliff to death. And then he went a bit weird. Ratliff became sullen and stopped speaking much while waiting for his appeal to be heard. His mother bought him a wind up phonograph and stack of gospel records for his cell. And every time a condemned man passed his cell on their way to the chair, Ratliff would play the same hymn. When the role is called Up Yonder.

Sam (48:57)

I recently learned the etymology of one for the road. So when we used to hang people at Tyburn, they had to walk the road up to Tyburn and they were allowed to stop in a pub for one drink. And that's why we say one for the road.

Hannah (49:14)

Wow.

Sam (49:15)

Cool, isn't it? Don't care if it's not true no.

Hannah (49:17)

Who cares anyway?

Sam (49:20)

While on death row, Henry Helms deteriorated as well. He was looking rough. He'd started staring intensely into the distance and chanting over and over. Ain't gonna sing. But it didn't matter. A jury took 10 minutes to decide that he was sane enough to be executed. And he died by electric chair on the 6th of September, 1929. Marshall Ratliff didn't play his weird record as Helms passed him by. And since his family didn't claim the body, Henry Helms was left to the state to bury in the prison cemetery.

Hannah (49:57)

The very same day Helms was executed, Ratliff started upping the ante too. He had started his own non stop chant, repeating over and over, the Lord have mercy on my soul. His mother filed for a lunacy hearing in Huntsville. By this point, locals were getting pretty fed up with it all taking so long and became furious at his attempt at this insanity plea. Put simply, everyone wanted him dead. So to keep things fair, Ratliff was moved to county jail to await a hearing. Boyce House writes in his article on this. There for 10 days he lay on a cot, seemingly blind, paralyzed and demented. Every move he made was aided by the officers. He seemed to be as helpless as a baby. His guards, Pack Kilman and Tom Jones had to feed Ratliff, bathe him and even take him to the toilet. And faced with this helpless invalid, they soon let their guard down. But on the 18th of November, 1929, Ratliff sprung into action one last time. That day, when the guards unlocked his cell, he jumped up. Suddenly full of life, he burst out and ran to the prison office. There he grabbed a six shooter pistol and shot guard Jones. Ratliff and Kilburn then fought violently, even rolling down the stairs as they went. Kilburn finally wrestled the gun off him, but it was out of ammo, so he beat him unconscious. Kilburn's daughter even rushed in from the family quarters with a pistol, but he told her not to fire. Kilburn just threw Ratliff back in his cell and locked the door.

Sam (51:39)

In the next few days, what seemed like all of Texas had gathered outside the prison. Tom Jones had been well known in the town as a friendly, good natured character, and they called him Uncle Tom. Yikes. But for the citizens who chased Ratliff down for days over Christmas, only for him to keep slipping through the net, this was absolutely the final straw. By this point, it had been two years since the Santa robbery. By nightfall, almost a thousand people had gathered. Kilbourne pleaded with the crowd to trust the law to handle it. But he forgot one thing. You don't mess with Texas. And a voice from the crowd shouted back at him, I'm gonna try. We've waited for long enough.

Hannah (52:35)

Was Forrest Gump from Texas?

Sam (52:37)

No, he's from Greenbow, Alabama. It's all the same. I do find that much easier than, like, normal American. Yeah, it's easier to slip into, to pretend you're a Southern bill.

Hannah (52:53)

Yeah, exactly. It's either that or, like, California valley.

Sam (52:57)

Valley girl. Yeah.

Hannah (52:59)

Very nuanced here.

Sam (53:00)

Maybe we should go on an accent coach retreat.

Hannah (53:03)

Do you know what? I think that would up our game significantly.

Sam (53:06)

I agree.

Hannah (53:07)

It would change the game entirely. If both of us could do semi decent accents. I'd say you can do semi decent if I could do any. Any decent.

Sam (53:24)

And after that, voice of dissent shouted from the crowd. The whole crowd pushed forward and overwhelmed the guards. And around 20 people broke through into the prison. And they went straight to Ratliff's cell. They dragged him out fully naked, and they threw a rope over a guy wire between two telephone poles and they hung him from it. When the rope broke, they put up a stronger one and they strung him up again. And that one worked. Just before he dropped, Marshall Ratliff muttered, boys, forgive me. He hung there for half an hour. It was the first lynching of a white man in Texas since anyone could remember.

Hannah (54:07)

So that leaves us with Robert Hill, the young robber who promised to be a good prisoner. Well, like we said, he'd started trying to escape pretty much straight away. But to be fair, he wasn't the only one.

Sam (54:18)

It seems like escaping prison in this particular time and place is quite simple, it would appear.

Hannah (54:24)

Yeah. I mean, it does feel very easy to possibly try and break out. And it kind of feels like you'd be a fool.

Sam (54:29)

I mean, they must have. Oh, yeah. I mean, if people are storming the prison and lynching someone, I'm slipping out the back door.

Hannah (54:35)

Yeah, I'm gone. So just to put it into perspective, over 300 men were involved in jailbreaks in that one year alone. And Hill's first attempt was while he was on work detail clearing a field. And he was caught pretty much straight away. For a second, he joined famous vocal performer Bob Silver on a real breakout where they got into a nearby college and kidnapped two students.

Sam (55:01)

When I read that, I misread it as that they were kidnapped by students. And that would sting, wouldn't it?

Hannah (55:09)

That would indeed. But again, it didn't last long. They're back in prison. But the third breakout was the big one. More than a dozen men had dug an 80 foot underground tunnel from beneath the kitchen of a work farm to the outside of the fence. And this one wasn't bad. Hill stayed out for 18 months before eventually being captured in El Paso in 1931, trying to cross into Mexico.

Sam (55:37)

Te what I knew. Robert Hill faced trial again, just like Ratliff for the murder of the two police officers. But it ended in a hung jury and Hill went back to prison to complete his existing sentence. And then 15 years in. In 1945, he was granted a conditional pardon. We can only guess, but it has been speculated that it was a combination of his own apparent personal reform and also it being 1945.

Hannah (56:10)

Yeah, you need. You need some men so let em out.

Sam (56:15)

Of course, with so many men away or dead, American society needed labourers. And Robert Hill got a job in a warehouse in Smith County. He got married, he became a stepfather and even joins a church. And his conditional pardon was turned into a full one in 1964.

Hannah (56:33)

These days there's a medallion on the bank at the site of the robbery as well as some old bullet holes in the side of the wall. And slightly more uncomfortably, there's a plaque at the prison to mark the place where they lynched Marshall Ratliff.

Sam (56:46)

Oh, Texas. I don't know about that one.

Hannah (56:49)

Practically everyone in Eastland county claims to have had a relative who was there in the alleyway or a part of the mob. And the Santa Claus robbery eventually passed into local legend. So now, you know, have a lynching for Christmas patrons. Fun story until they lynched the guy. But yeah, that's what happens when you give civilians money for murdering people. That's the moral of this Christmas story.

Sam (57:17)

That is the moral of the Christmas. So it's what Mary Magdalene would have wanted.

Hannah (57:21)

Yes. So just write that down on a little scrap of paper in tiny handwriting like Hannah's mum used to do and give it to your kids this Christmas so that they learn a very important lesson.

Sam (57:32)

Exactly. I also, you know, welcome to our podcast about parenting, which is called Don't. I heard a really good phrase the other day. People were talking about like upbringings and it was Trixie Mattel, who's one of my favorite drag queens. She's my second favorite. I like Catty Moore. Anyway, she said, I think it is so important for kids to be raised with everything they need, but not everything they want. And I think that's really true.

Hannah (57:58)

Oh, 100%. That's gonna be fucking embroidered into a massive cross stitch pattern that's hanging over the fireplace in my house if I ever have children. And anytime they scream at me that they want something, I'll point to it with a laser pen and be like, shut the fuck up.

Sam (58:14)

May I direct your attention to the embroidery, please?

Hannah (58:18)

That's it, guys. Happy Christmas.

Sam (58:19)

Merry Christmas.

Hannah (58:21)

We hope you have a wonderful festive period, whatever you are doing this year. And yeah, just have a bloody good one.

Sam (58:28)

Yeah. To be honest, after watching Conclave, feeling pretty festive. I kind of want to go to midnight mass. Like, it's. Midnight Mass is the best one.

Hannah (58:36)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sam (58:37)

And it's all dark and candlely and carols and, you know, all the songs. Yeah. It really made me think that in the same way that smoking is simultaneously my biggest regret and my purest joy. I simultaneously abhor the Catholic Church, but I can't help that it feels like home.

Hannah (58:52)

Of course, I think, you know, it's hard to disentangle yourself from the things that are nostalgic to your childhood. Be they good, be they bad. I mean, every time I go to India to stay with my grandparents. I've talked about this before on Under Duvet. They live very rurally. There is a temple fucking opposite their house that starts playing holy music at 4am in the morning. And it goes on every hour, on the fucking hour for hours, until like 11am in the morning. It is hell, but it gives my grandmother immense joy for some reason. And do I feel very, like, happy when I hear those songs? Not at 4am in the morning. Yeah, for sure. I do. Even though I don't believe it's just. Yeah, it's something, isn't it? What are you doing for Christmas this year? Or should we talk about it on under the. Let's save it. This is long enough. That's it, guys. Happy Christmas. And we will be back in January. Under the Duvet will be resuming on January 13th. And we have got a hell of a bonus episode for you next month. It's gonna be so good. We're so excited. I'm just gonna tell you we're doing Wagtha Christie.

Sam (59:56)

We sure are.

Hannah (59:57)

And if you are American and you don't know what we're talking about, or you're not British and you don't know what we're talking about, just Google Wagatha Christie, and prepare yourselves for a journey that will your mind. It's so, so good. We'll see you.

Sam (60:09)

And K's just got out of the.

Hannah (60:10)

Jungle, so yes, we will. See you guys then. Happy Christmas. Happy New Year. Goodbye.

Sam (60:16)

Be good.

Hannah (60:30)

Hello, I'm Alice Levine.

Sam (60:31)

And I'm Matt Ford. And we're the hosts of British Scandal.

Hannah (60:34)

Our latest series has a very loose, festive theme. It's about the other virgin's baby.

Sam (60:40)

But we're not talking cosy stable in Bethlehem. We're talking roaring 1920s London, where Christabel Russell is living her best life.

Hannah (60:47)

She's married into an aristocratic family who want one thing, an heir.

Sam (60:52)

And the tricky bit is the Russell marriage is a no sex deal.

Hannah (60:55)

So when Christabel becomes pregnant, is it a miracle?

Sam (60:59)

Cue a national scandal and sensational trial. Follow British Scandal wherever you get your podcasts or listen early and ad free on Wondery. You know those creepy stories that give you goosebumps? The ones that make you really question what's real? Well, what if I told you that some of the strangest, darkest and most mysterious stories are not found in haunted houses or abandoned forests, but instead in hospital rooms and doctor's offices? Hi, I'm Mr. Ball, the host of Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries. And each week on my podcast you can expect to hear stories about bizarre illnesses no one can explain, miraculous recoveries that shouldn't have happened, and cases so baffling they stumped even the best doctors. So if you crave totally true and thoroughly twisted horror stories and mysteries, Mr. Ballin's medical mysteries should be your new go to weekly show. Listen to Mr. Bahlen's Medical Mysteries on the One Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.