DAY 13: Vlad the Impaler - The Real Dracula (ShortHand’s 13 Days of Halloween)

Summary

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RedHanded Podcast: DAY 13 - Vlad the Impaler: The Real Dracula

ShortHand’s 13 Days of Halloween Special
Hosts: Hannah, Helen, Georgia
Date: October 31, 2025

Episode Overview

To cap off their “13 Days of Halloween ShortHand” series, the RedHanded team explores the chilling history behind Vlad the Impaler, a.k.a. Vlad Dracula—examining the man behind the myth and separating fact from legend. The hosts dive into the brutal history of medieval Wallachia, Vlad’s notorious acts of violence, his legacy in Romania, and his transformation into Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula. The episode balances historical storytelling with characteristic dark humor and insightful discussion.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Halloween Special & RedHanded Travels

• The hosts open with banter about their visit to Romania, specifically Transylvania and Sighisoara (Vlad’s birthplace), setting a personal tone for the history.
• Helen: "Transylvania lived up to all expectations and Sighisoara was absolutely beautiful." [06:57]

2. Historical Context: 15th Century Romania

• Romania was divided into three principalities: Moldavia, Wallachia, and Transylvania.
• The region was constantly caught between Christian Europe and the Muslim Ottoman Empire, spawning endless conflicts and bloodshed.
  • Hannah: “These were sites of endless power struggles and ideological clashes and plenty of bloodshed.” [07:30]

3. Vlad III’s Childhood and Hostage Experience

• Vlad III (the Impaler) was the son of Vlad II Dracul, a member of the Order of the Dragon (Dracul = Dragon).
• Vlad and his younger brother Radu (later “the Handsome”) were taken hostage by the Ottoman Sultan as leverage.
• During five years as prisoners, they experienced beatings, torture, and a brutal education in violence and warfare.
  • Helen: “Vlad saw no problem with this and left his kids behind as an insurance policy.” [10:47]
  • Hannah: "Young Vlad also developed a knowledge of torture and learnt the power of violence as a means of control." [10:56]

4. Family Tragedy and Revenge

• Upon release, Vlad returned to find his father and older brother murdered by rivals (the Boyars).
• Driven by vengeance, Vlad launched violent campaigns to reclaim his throne and assert control.
• His first act of settled revenge: the notorious Easter Sunday massacre of local nobility.
  • Hannah: “Just as they finished their last bites, they were all seized by Dracula's men... their twitching bodies were impaled on spikes.” [12:38]

5. Reign of Terror: Methods and Atrocities

• Vlad’s signature punishment was impalement—victims were skewered alive, a process that was excruciating and often slow.
  • Hannah: "A wooden or a metal pole would be impaled into the living victim, usually through their genitals, and come out through their mouth, shoulders or their neck." [17:59]
  • “Once impaled, the victim would squirm and writhe in pain until they finally died. It would take hours or even days.” [18:30]
• Other horrors included burning groups alive, poisoning wells, spreading disease, disembowelment, and flaying.
  • Instance: Vlad invites all the poor and sick to a feast—then burns the hall, declaring, “I did this so no one will be poor in my realm.” [16:10-16:41]
• He allegedly held picnics amid forests of impaled victims, even dipping bread in their fresh blood.
  • Helen: “Dracula requested that a table be set up outside, and there he had a little picnic among the forest of writhing bodies.” [19:02]

6. Warfare with the Ottomans: Legendary Brutality

• After antagonizing the Ottomans, Vlad employed psychological warfare.
• The “forest of the impaled” confronted Sultan Mehmed II with over 24,000 corpses—numbers corroborated by some historical sources.
  • Hannah: “A sick forest of stakes stretched out as far as the eye could see... birds were said to have made nests in spilled entrails.” [19:48]
• Other atrocities included nailing turbans to the heads of Ottoman envoys.
  • Helen: “Vlad nailed the turbans to their heads with three spikes. Lovely. He just really knows how to treat his guests.” [21:18]

7. Downfall and Death

• After years of violence, Vlad lost political support and was eventually killed in battle; his severed head was sent to the Sultan.
• His burial place remains uncertain, giving rise to legends of immortality.

8. The Vampire Connection: Legend Meets Fiction

• Medieval vampire legends predate Vlad, emerging from Bulgarian folklore a millennium ago.
  • Vampires originally viewed more as spirits spreading disease.
  • Over time, vampires evolved in lore to become blood-drinking, undead beings.
• Bram Stoker learned of “Dracula” through a book in Whitby, appropriating Vlad’s surname and some associated legend for his count.
  • Helen: “Stoker read about Vlad III, his violent nature, the name Dracula and the false etymology that the name meant devil. Well, of course it means dragon. And Stoker thought the name was perfect.” [26:37]
• The Whitby connection: The town is now a hub for UK goth culture due to the Dracula association.
• Many claimed links between Vlad and the supernatural are later embellishments. The most dramatic tales were often enemy propaganda.
  • Hannah: “All of these links should be taken with a very large pinch of garlic salt.” [29:40]

9. Modern Legacy and Nuance

• Vlad is considered a national hero in Romania for his military victories and defense against the Ottomans.
  • Helen: “He’s still hailed as a national hero… they love him for his victories and his conquests.” [31:03]
• Hosts discuss the complexity of his legacy given the brutal historical era.
  • Helen: “It’s complicated. But a fascinating connection between him and Dracula and how that happened, I think is even more interesting that we don’t actually know.” [32:21]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hannah: “You, my sausage, would be wrong. Not by a long shot.” (On whether Vlad was ever satisfied) [12:34]
• Helen: "The last bit’s almost whimsical if his… and so horrible." (On foot-flaying and goats licking the victim’s salty feet) [17:54]
• Helen: “Victorians probably loved vampires not just because they loved dead shit… but because they were also super xenophobic.” [24:38]
• Hannah: "What is more likely is that once the name had been linked to the novel, people started to look for similarities between Count Dracula and Vlad the Impaler, and then they retrofitted the legacy onto the fictional Count." [30:14]
• Helen: "It is tricky because, like, it was an incredibly bloody time… if you did live at that time in a place like that… he was there to defend your land, your people." [31:28]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 04:17 — Episode proper begins (“Hello and welcome…”)
• 06:27 — Hosts’ travels to Vlad-related sites in Romania
• 07:13 — Explanation of historical Romania’s geography and difficulties
• 09:50 — Vlad and Radu’s hostage years with the Ottomans
• 11:33 — Vlad’s return, discovery of family murders, vow of revenge
• 12:34 — Infamous Easter Sunday massacre
• 16:08 — The burning of the poor at Vlad’s second banquet
• 17:59 — Detailed description of Vlad’s impalement method
• 19:48 — The “forest of the impaled” and psychological warfare
• 21:06 — Envoys’ turbans nailed to heads; Vlad’s eventual downfall
• 22:31 — Introduction of vampire legends; from folklore to medicine
• 24:38 — Vampires and Victorian popular culture
• 26:37 — How Bram Stoker connected Vlad to Dracula
• 29:40 — Distilling truth vs. myth: “Take it with a pinch of garlic salt”
• 31:03 — Vlad’s modern legacy, hero vs. monster
• 32:21 — Conversation about the ambiguity of historical judgment
• 32:35 — Episode winds down and final thoughts

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Tone and Style

• Informal, witty, often irreverent, with moments of dark humor despite the grisly subject matter.
• Frequent asides, cultural references, and relatable anecdotes (e.g., their own visit to Vlad’s homeland).

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Summary

The RedHanded team delivers an atmospheric and incisive episode on Vlad the Impaler, balancing horror with historical context and sly commentary. Listeners learn how Vlad III—historically both nationalist hero and brutal warlord—inspired the Dracula legend, with the hosts demystifying his legacy and highlighting the role of myth, propaganda, and gothic literature. The episode is packed with grim anecdotes, mordant jokes, and accessible storytelling, perfect for Halloween (or any time you want real-life horror outdoing even the creepiest fiction).

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Transcript

[Helen]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Red Handed early and ad free. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Georgia]

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[Helen]

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC Spot Me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs, bank ranking and number of ATMs according to US News and World Report. 2023 Chime checking account required if you run a small business, you'll know there's nothing small about it. So if you're feeling overwhelmed, you need the right platform to give you all the tools you need for success. Like Shopify. Shopify's Point of sale system is a unified command center that brings together in store and online retail operations across up to 1000 locations. Shopify POS even helps you build your customer base. Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com redhanded go to shopify.com redhanded shopify.com redhanded hello there, spooky listener. It's October, our favorite time of the year. And so to celebrate and give you all a well deserved treat, we're bringing you the 13 days of Halloween shorthand edition.

[Georgia]

Usually every single week over on Amazon Music, we release brand new episodes of.

[Hannah]

Our bite sized sister show Shorthand. It's like Red Handed's Little Friend where.

[Georgia]

We delve into all sorts of fascinating topics from hell in different religions, Haitian.

[Hannah]

Voodoo, the death of Edgar Allan Poe, Cotard syndrome, Japan, Suicide forest, and so much more.

[Helen]

And this Halloween, from the 19th of October to the 31st of October, we are going to be pulling out 13 of our most terrifying episodes of Shorthand to drop straight into your Red Handed feed every single day.

[Hannah]

But beware, each episode will only be.

[Georgia]

Available for 24 hours.

[Hannah]

So get listening or abandon all hope.

[Helen]

Enjoy. Across the road and I realized, I was like, oh my God, my neck.

[Hannah]

Oh God, what have you done? My head felt weird this morning when I woke up. Like the back of my head, I was trying to figure it out and I was like, oh my God, did I fall over? Like what happened? And then I realized, no, I was in the hairdresser's yesterday and it's from the like scene.

[Helen]

I see.

[Hannah]

But I was very relieved when I woke that up.

[Helen]

There you go. Well, anyway, hello everybody.

[Hannah]

Hello and welcome.

[Georgia]

Cold open.

[Hannah]

Yes, a cold open from two warm women.

[Helen]

So warm because it is balmy in London today. I know you are listening to this in October, but we are recording this in September. Yes, but don't let it dash the illusion of the festive season.

[Hannah]

No, I'm not feeling it.

[Helen]

We are here. We're doing this in September because for once in our fucking lives we continue to remain ahead of the game. And also because we just love October. Spooky month here at Red Handed. So if you have been listening, you will know that we have already covered all myriad of fucking exorcisms, witches, more exorcisms, and even occult obsessed Nazi soldiers in an ancient castle in the Black Forest. So to cap it all off on this spookiest of all days, because today, Hannah the day that our beautiful listeners are listening to this is in fact, Halloween day.

[Hannah]

All Hallows Eve.

[Helen]

All Hallows Eve. So happy Halloween, everybody. And let's get into it, because today we are going to be talking about one of the most sinister, bloodthirsty people in all of human history. And I'm pumped because we are talking about Dracula Ray. And no, we are not talking about the pale, slightly camp, garlic averse count in a cape. We're talking about Vlad Sheepes Voivod, or Wallachia, otherwise known to his mates as Vlad the Impaler, or eventually Vlad Dracula. And unlike the vampiric count who waits patiently outside to be invited in this, Dracula didn't wait for an invitation to tear through Central Europe, inflicting untold suffering as he went. He is believed to have impaled tens of thousands of his writhing enemies onto spikes while they were still alive. Now that's the real deal when it comes to spooky shit. So here is your final terrifying shorthand. Hannah and I have, in fact, a few years ago, been to Romania, very specifically to Transylvania and very specifically to Vlad the Impaler's house.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Helen]

Weller's Castle.

[Hannah]

Well, no. So I think we went to Sighisoara, because that's where he was born. Yes. And there was like an insignia on the door of the dragon. And then the castle we went to, I think is just the castle that the castle in Dracula is based on. And actually just like, was really boring. It was some like, oh my God, princess or something. But we had great soup, fantastic soup, but no good pictures, because the only place you can take a picture of that castle is some really grim car park. We tried so hard.

[Helen]

It was a fucking cool castle as well. But, yeah, so we did have the very intense pleasure of going to Romania. We had a fantastic time. Transylvania lived up to all expectations and Sighisoara was absolutely beautiful. Anyway, we're well off track. This is not under the duvet. Let's get back to it.

[Hannah]

Let's get back to it. And let's get back to the start, which is at the start of the 15th century, where the country we now know as Romania was actually three informal principalities. Moldavia, Wallachia and the most famous, Transylvania. And the Moldavians, Wallachians and the Transylvanians all had a pretty rough time defending their land. They were stuck slap bang in between Christian Europe and the Muslim Ottoman Empire, and they just couldn't catch a break. These were sites of endless power struggles and ideological clashes and plenty of bloodshed. Now, Vlad the guy we're talking about today, Vlad iii, was, surprise, surprise, son of Vlad ii, ruler of Wallachia. Vlad II came from a respected line of leaders, the founders of Wallachia. In fact, he belonged to a crusading Christian order which marched under the banner of a dragon and became known because he lives in Game of Thrones, apparently as the Order of the Dragon. And as the leader, Vlad II earned the nickname Dracul, which, no points for guessing, means dragon.

[Helen]

Yeah. Since Wallachia was Christian and big buddy, big pals with Hungary and the rest of Europe, their original enemy was, of course, the Muslim Ottomans.

[Hannah]

I only very. This is very embarrassing for me. I only very recently learned that Attila the Hun was from Hungary.

[Helen]

Oh, there you go.

[Hannah]

I didn't know that. I think I get confused with Genghis Khan.

[Helen]

Genghis Khan, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, Wallachia, they're mates with Hungary, they're not so interested in hanging out with the Ottomans. But Vlad Senior was only interested in one thing, and it wasn't ideology, it was power. He was known to be fickle and would switch sides on a penny if he thought his team was starting to lose. And he had three sons, Mercia, Vlad III and Radu, who would go on to be known as Radu the Handsome, which is a much better name to go down in history than the Impaler, like his bro. But most people probably haven't heard of Radu the Handsome, have they?

[Hannah]

I wish I had.

[Helen]

I have, because I'm a dork and I've watched this documentary so many times. Now, Vlad III was born in the small mountain town of Sighisoara in Transylvania. Humble beginnings for one of history's most savage warlords. But to be fair to him, it was a rocky start. His father's land was constantly at war and young Vlad would often accompany Vlad Sr. On diplomatic missions across the state. And one of these meetings would have a devastating impact on the young boy.

[Hannah]

When young Vlad was but 11, his father headed out to Constantinople, the capital of the Ottoman Empire, now Istanbul. And Vlad II had decided not to join the Ottomans in their new war with Transylvania, but he wanted to go to visit the Sultan to make sure that they were still big body, big pals and everything was fine. And he brought with him his two younger sons, 11 year old Vlad and 7 year old Roddy the Handsome.

[Helen]

Big mistake.

[Hannah]

And when they all arrived in the court of Sultan Murad ii, the Sultan didn't quite buy that Vlad II was still on his side, because he quite literally was like, no. He had, after all, done plenty of Ottoman sieging in his time. So the Sultan said that Vlad could go as long as his two sons were left behind as some sort of collateral, one would assume.

[Helen]

Yeah, they're like, if you leave your sons here with me, you're going to be much less likely to wage war against the Ottomans again.

[Hannah]

Vlad saw no problem with this and left his kids behind as an insurance policy. And so Vlad III and handsome Radu were kept in a dark citadel. They were kept prisoner there, and it sat atop a rocky precipice with a steep fall below. They were beaten and tortured by guards and they grew to hate the Ottomans. It's a very dark origin story so far, although the captors also taught the boys lessons in the art of war science and philosophy. Presumably, in between beatings, young Vlad also developed a knowledge of torture and learnt the power of violence as a means of control, especially when his father, Vlad iii, really pushed his luck by joining Hungary in a war against the Ottomans.

[Helen]

Now, the boys were spared and, after five years of imprisonment, were finally released. But it wasn't the warm welcome home that Vlad would have hoped for, because he returned to a broken Wallachia. It had been invaded by Hungary with help from a violent coup carried out within Wallachia by its aristocratic ruling class, known as the Boyars. Vlad II Dracul was cut down in the marshes behind his house and his eldest son, Mercia, was tortured, blinded and buried alive. So for his son, Vlad III was time for revenge. With his father and older brother slaughtered, Vlad II set out on a mission to take back his birthright and cover the land with blood. He became known by his armies as Dracula, Son of the Dragon. And he set out on a series of bloody campaigns. And after eight years of relentless violence, he finally reclaimed the throne of Wallachia.

[Hannah]

So you might think that, having got what he wanted, Vlad Dracula's score had been settled. But you, my sausage, would be wrong. Not by a long shot. And the next move in a lifetime of retaliation happened over dinner. On Easter Sunday 1457, he held a banquet for loads of local noblemen. Over 500 members of rival families and loads of boyars were invited to eat together. And let bygones be bygones. They arrived at his castle, called Poenari in the mountains and ate a grand feast. And just as they finished their last bites, they were all seized by Dracula's men. The boyars and their wives were attacked en masse and their twitching bodies were impaled on spikes. Some young, able bodied men were manacled and chained to each other and marched northward by Dracula's men. Ten years after they'd killed his father and his brother, Vlad got his reuenge.

[Helen]

You.

[Hannah]

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[Georgia]

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[Hannah]

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[Georgia]

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[Hannah]

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[Georgia]

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[Hannah]

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[Georgia]

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[Helen]

According to some chronicles, there was a second dinner party a few years later. Vlad sent Invites out to all the elderly, poor and sick from across his realm. Apparently having learned absolutely nothing from his first Come dine with me bloodbath, they all turned up ready to eat.

[Hannah]

It's literally the Red Wedding.

[Georgia]

Yeah.

[Helen]

And when they arrived at this dinner party, they were shown into a grand wooden banqueting hall and given roast meats and fine wine. Then Vlad's soldiers sealed the doors and windows and set the whole room on fire. All the people inside perished in their hundreds. But in case that sounds heartless, here's Vlad's explanation. I did this so no one will be poor in my realm. Is that how that works? I mean, if you do kill all the poor people, you don't have poor people.

[Hannah]

Yes, famously so, yes. Then, high up in Castle Dracula, he set out his new plans, which was to fuck up the Ottomans, because he hated them. But the Ottomans had an army three times the size of Vlad's. However, he was fearless and war hungry and he was not afraid to play dirty. When Sultan Mehmed II sent some envoys to see if Vlad would pledge his allegiance. This is really making me want to watch. 300 Vlad had those envoys impaled on spikes and displayed as a warning, spiking the messenger. And then he sent his men out to poison wells and burn crops. He even paid diseased Wallachian men to infiltrate and infect the enemy after battle. Vlad's enemies were often disemboweled, beheaded, skinned or boiled alive. And another favourite method from the Son of the Dragon was foot flaying, which is fun. So basically what happens is skin is slowly removed from a victim's feet and then the skinless feet would be rubbed in salt. And then goats would be brought up to the victim to lick at their salty feet with their rough, goated tongues.

[Helen]

The last bit's almost whimsical if his. And so horrible. Yeah, yeah.

[Hannah]

More reports from the time talk of children being roasted alive and then force fed to their mothers before their mother's breasts were cut off and fed to their husbands. But Vlad's absolute fave was impalement. And here's how he would do it. A wooden or a metal pole would be impaled into the living victim, usually through their genitals, and come out through their mouth, shoulders or their neck. Maybe they were aiming for the mouth and maybe they didn't get it quite there all the time. Maybe it's easier said than done, especially when somebody's writhing around right when they're alive.

[Helen]

Yes.

[Hannah]

Once impaled, the victim would squirm and writhe in pain until they finally died. It would take hours or even days. And so Dracula earned himself a new nickname, Vlad Tespes, which means, in my flawless romance, Vlad the Impaler.

[Helen]

As his power grew, so did Vlad's brutality. In 1459, Vlad's armies attacked the Transylvanian city of Brasov.

[Hannah]

Woo. Woo.

[Helen]

Yeah, we went there.

[Hannah]

Hold tight.

[Helen]

It was great.

[Hannah]

And it also, in the Cold War, was called Stalin.

[Helen]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. And once there, Vlad's armies ransacked the town, burning buildings and pillaging as they went. And when they were done, they impaled again hundreds of men, women and children on the hill. Never one to miss a dinner party. According to some accounts, Dracula requested that a table be set up outside, and there he had a little picnic among the forest of writhing bodies. And this picnic gets even worse because reportedly, he even dipped a little bread in the fresh blood that trickled down from one victim. And then there was the Battle of Turcovishte.

[Hannah]

Things between the Sultan Mehmed II and Vlad Dracula the Impaler had been rocky for quite some time. And when the Sultan found out that Vlad had been buddying up to the King of Hungary behind his back, he was not a happy bunny. They began a series of battles across the area, but none of them were conclusive. And then one day in 1462, the sultan led his army out of the city. He wanted to cut the Wallachian army down once and for all, but he didn't even reach the battlefield. Because on their way, the army was stopped in their tracks by an unimaginably gruesome sight. A sick forest of stakes stretched out as far as the eye could see. And almost 24,000 Ottoman men, women and children hung lifeless from these stakes. Babies had been impaled with their mothers, some had had their limbs cut off before they were skewered, and birds were said to have made nests in spilled entrails. And all 24,000 of them had been killed by Vlad in his invasion of Bulgaria and left there as a warning.

[Helen]

Understandably, it worked. Mehmet and his men were horrified and quickly retreated to Constantinople.

[Hannah]

I bloody would.

[Helen]

Mm. A little while later, a group of Ottoman envoys was sent to check in on relationship. Vlad asked them to remove their turbans. This bit.

[Hannah]

So gross.

[Helen]

And when they said that it was custom for them to actually keep their turbans on. So, no, thank you. Vlad nailed the turbans to their heads with three spikes. Lovely. He just really knows how to treat his guests. So after years of this merciless brutality, it eventually got a bit much for everyone. And finally Vlad was forced into exile. He was imprisoned by the Ottomans, escaped and captured again by the Hungarians. When he got out, he actually had one final go at reclaiming the Wallachian throne. But this time, Dracula's seeming invincibility had finally faded. Vlad and his soldiers were ambushed and killed in battle. His corpse was cut into pieces and paraded around Constantinople, and his head was delivered on a spike directly to Sultan Mehmet ii. Later, Vlad's army was said to have gathered his remains and buried them. But the location of where they buried them faded from memory, and rumors even spread that he had escaped death once again.

[Hannah]

Was it Genghis Khan where when he was buried, all of the people who buried him were killed. Were killed so nobody would know?

[Helen]

Yeah. So to this day, we don't know where Genghis Khan was buried. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Thank you. Real dictators. But still, that's the end of Vlad Dracula, the Impaler, Prince of Wallachia. So let's get to the bit we've all been waiting for. Vampires. The first vampire was Judas Iscariot.

[Helen]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. For all the silver and whatnot.

[Hannah]

So apparently the first ever vampire legends come from Bulgaria about a thousand years ago. They were originally much more ghost, like lacking a physical body, and drifted around villages spreading disease. As the Holy Roman Empire took over, it spread the legend across Europe and the mythology grew and picked up some new features. In the 17th century, there was a well meaning, but mostly way off base step towards science and reason. And people's grasp of anatomy was still.

[Georgia]

Pretty shaky throughout Europe.

[Hannah]

People believed that blood was the essence of life itself, and many were consuming it for its supposed medicinal properties. Some even considered vampirism to be real, but a curable disease. So the vampire gained the attributes of being an undead, risen corpse who needed to feed on blood to survive. Have you watched what we do in the Shadows? Not the film, the TV series.

[Helen]

Not the TV series.

[Hannah]

It's so good.

[Helen]

I don't know what. I haven't watched it, to be perfectly honest with you.

[Hannah]

Incredible.

[Helen]

I will watch it.

[Hannah]

And the guy who I. God, I can't remember his name, but the guy who. He's a British guy, he's got like a little goatee you recognize. Anyway, yeah, I'm his celebrity crush.

[Helen]

Oh, what? Tell. Explain.

[Hannah]

It was an article. Someone tagged me in it on Twitter and he was like, yeah, like redhead podcasters with big boobs. Beautiful. So I'm famous now. Psycho Excellent.

[Helen]

Wonderful news. Okay, so let's get back to vampires in the UK in the early 19th century. The whole vampire business got a new gothic glow up. Victorians absolutely loved vampire shit.

[Hannah]

They loved dead shit.

[Helen]

They really did. Watch out for an episode coming up in November all about Victorians because they are fascinating. They are fascinating. Now, Victorians probably loved vampires not just because they loved dead shit like Hannah correctly identified, but probably because they were also super xenophobic. And the story of a sinister foreign leech feeding on the healthy, prosperous natives was just music to their ears. Gothic literature was all the rage, with stories set in dark foreign lands in castles and caves, featuring all kinds of sinister beasts. The writer and physician and Lord Byron's personal doctor, John Polidori was the first Briton to to really make a name for vampires in his 1819 book, the Vampire spelled with a Y. It was actually written in the same ghost story competition that produced Frankenstein.

[Hannah]

That's so fucking cool. Isn't that cool if you don't know the story? Lord Byron, Mary Shelley and presumably this doctor and some other people are all, like, holed up in some stately home somewhere and there's a massive storm so they can't go outside and Lord Byron's like, why don't we just write ghost stories? And then Mary Shelley's just like, bam. Frankenstein's dying.

[Helen]

I know, it's just perfect. Perfect gothic book porn.

[Hannah]

It is. It truly is book porn. And who is Lord Byron's daughter?

[Helen]

I feel like I knew. Who is Lord Byron's daughter?

[Hannah]

Ada Lovelace. Oh, yes, the mother of coding.

[Helen]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Hannah]

Look out for that, it's coming in November.

[Helen]

Her mum's not Byron's sister, is she?

[Georgia]

No.

[Hannah]

He was very briefly married to the, I believe, Duchess of Lovelace, but obviously didn't last very long because he was more of the little boy persuasion and also his sister. Yes.

[Helen]

So, yeah, vampires had become a bit of a Gothic staple in Victorian times, even before being immortalized. Pun. Very heavily intended in their most famous guise of all, Bram Stoker's Dracula.

[Hannah]

So what does this blood sucking incubus have to do with an ancient Romanian warlord? Well, that depends who you ask. Whitby is a quaint seaside town in Yorkshire and Stoker was working on his third book about an Austrian count he called Count Wampier, and he took a very much needed beach break. While there, he checked out the library and found a book written by a British diplomat in Bucharest. And it was all about this diplomat's visit to the principality of Wallachia. And there, Stoker read about Vlad iii, his violent nature, the name Dracula and the false etymology that the name meant devil. Well, of course it means dragon. And Stoker thought the name was perfect. So he moved his whole story to Romania and the rest is history. And quick sidebar. Whitby has recently become an unlikely designation for Goths. There's a Whitby Goth weekend every summer and they all gather there in black lace and have a day out at the seaside, which is quite nice.

[Helen]

It is.

[Hannah]

I am convinced. I can't remember if I told you this before. I walk my dog in the cemetery near my house. I am convinced that there is a chapter of the Church of Satan that meet there. I'm convinced. I see them all the time and they're all, like, very gothy, and they just sort of sit and sit in a circle. I'm like, are you doing Church of Satan?

[Georgia]

Can I come?

[Helen]

You should ask.

[Hannah]

I should ask. I keep wanting to flash them the horns every time I walk past.

[Helen]

It's hard to make friends in your 30s. You just have to ask.

[Hannah]

It's so much easier now. I've got a dog. Fuck me, I've got loads of friends.

[Helen]

There you go. Just let Mabel run over to them.

[Georgia]

She's black.

[Helen]

Little black dog. They'll love it. So, getting back to how Vlad and Dracula are related, some say that Bram Stoker just found a cool name in a book, thought Transylvania sounded creepy and basically just made the rest up. But there are other connections. There are records of Stoker talking to the historian Herman Bamberger. Great name.

[Hannah]

That's made up.

[Helen]

That's just not right.

[Hannah]

I'm sorry.

[Helen]

Herman Bamberger.

[Hannah]

Herman the German.

[Helen]

Herman the German. Herman Bamberger. Berman Hamburger. Sorry. Herman, you are a very important historian and apparently, like we said, there are records of Stoker speaking to him, and he is the one who is thought to have filled the author in on Dracula's atrocities and his more savage acts. Some say that the legend of Vlad's disappearing remains also inspired Count Dracula's immortality. And others cite an apocryphal story from the battlefield. It's said that during a siege, on a particularly misty night, Vlad III had released an army of rabid bats on the Ottoman army. The mist was heavy and visibility was poor. And according to the legend, it seemed to the Ottomans as though the entire army in front of them had transformed into a horde of bats. And perhaps that's what led to the belief that Dracula himself could shapeshift.

[Hannah]

So fucking cool.

[Helen]

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[Hannah]

Now Obviously, I'm here to shit on your brain because all of these links should be taken with a very large pinch of garlic salt.

[Helen]

Mm. Delicious.

[Hannah]

It is delicious, isn't it?

[Helen]

So's chicken salt.

[Hannah]

Any just salt? Yeah, just can't get enough salt.

[Helen]

I also started buying these little yellow tubs from Tesco.

[Hannah]

You can get them anywhere, though.

[Helen]

And it's just aromat and it just tastes like. It just tastes like chicken stock cubes. And it's delicious and you can just sprinkle it on everything makes everything taste better.

[Hannah]

Oh, that's a good tip.

[Helen]

And it's like a pound. It's great. Probably full of msg, but whatever.

[Hannah]

All the best things are.

[Helen]

Exactly.

[Hannah]

What is more likely is that once the name had been linked to the novel, people started to look for similarities between Count Dracula and Vlad the Impaler, and then they retrofitted the legacy onto the fictional Count. And as for the bloody tales of Vlad the Impaler, they are kind of inflated as well. Many accounts were written by enemies and like the bat story, were probably subject to a lot of word of mouth infamy and gruesome legend. Lots of the more sensational stories come from German and Russian pamphlets distributed after Vlad's death. And those 20 odd thousand impaled Ottomans, well, they were real and the exact number is actually part of historical records, so I think that's enough. The bat's. Whatever. So Vlad was an Impaler and he was very, very good at it as well. And he's still hailed as a national hero in Romania.

[Helen]

Yeah, we went on a walking tour and they were like, yeah, we fucking love him.

[Hannah]

And they love him for his victories and his conquests, defending Jesus Christ and the baby donkey from the threat of Ottoman rule. But in reality, Vlad the Impaler was a savage, unrelenting monster of a kind that hasn't existed for hundreds of years. And as far as we're concerned, that's a lot more frightening than the ghost stories.

[Helen]

Yeah. And look, I'm not here to do like revisionist history on Vlad the Impaler, but I have obviously read quite a lot about how he has perceived in that part of the world. And it is tricky because, like, it was an incredibly bloody time, like the Ottomans, the Christians, like we said at the start, everyone was tearing lumps out of each other and all of these kingdoms that existed, the innocent people that lived there were the ones getting absolutely trampled on by just warlord after warlord. And so if you did live at that time in a place like that and Then you had this man, who by today's standards were like, disgusting, a violent monster. But he was there to defend your land, your people, and he did whatever he thought he needed to to keep you safe. You can understand why they're like, we're just going to get murdered by the Ottomans or the other Christians. At least he's murdering them.

[Hannah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Helen]

It's complicated. It's complicated. But a fascinating connection between him and Dracula and how that happened, I think is even more interesting that we don't actually know.

[Hannah]

Yeah, me too. Yeah. Good for you, Vlad.

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

All right, we will see you next time on shorthand and Amazon music. Exclusive for something else next week. Don't know what it is because we're in November, so I'll be depressed because it's dark.

[Helen]

You can check back next time and we'll see you then. Bye.

[Narrator (Lawless Planet Promo)]

How hard is it to kill a planet? Maybe all it takes is a little drilling, some mining, and a whole lot of carbon pumped into the atmosphere. When you see what's left, it starts to look like a crime scene.

[Hannah]

Are we really safe? Is our water safe? You destroyed our tap.

[Narrator (Lawless Planet Promo)]

And crimes like that, they don't just happen.

[Helen]

We call things accidents. There is no accident.

[Georgia]

This was 100% preventable.

[Narrator (Lawless Planet Promo)]

They're the result of choices by people. Ruthless oil tycoons, corrupt politicians, even organized crime. These are the stories we need to be telling about our changing planet. Stories of scams, murders, and coverups that are about us and the things we're doing to either protect the Earth or destroy it. Follow Lawless Planet on the Wondry App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes of Lawless Planet early and ad free right now by joining Wondry in the Wondry App, Apple podcasts, or Spotify.

[Mr. Balan]

You know those creepy stories that give you goosebumps? The ones that make you really question what's real? Well, what if I told you that some of the strangest, darkest, and most myster stories are not found in haunted houses or abandoned forests, but instead in hospital rooms and doctor's offices. Hi, I'm Mr. Balan, the host of Mr. Balan's Medical Mysteries. And each week on my podcast, you can expect to hear stories about bizarre illnesses no one can explain, miraculous recoveries that shouldn't have happened, and cases so baffling they stumped even the best doctors. So if you crave totally true and thoroughly twisted horror horror stories and mysteries, Mr. Ballin's medical mysteries should be your new go to weekly show. Listen to Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.