Podcast Summary

RedHanded – ShortHand: The Bizarre History of Birth Control

Release date: February 13, 2026
Hosts: Helen & Sam

Main Theme

In this special Valentine’s Day episode of RedHanded’s ShortHand, hosts Helen and Sam delve into the peculiar, surprising, and often macabre history of birth control. With their signature mix of dark humor and sharp social commentary, they trace humanity’s attempts to thwart fertility from ancient times to the modern era, spotlighting bizarre methods, dangerous concoctions, rampant misinformation, and the wide world of ancient and modern sexual anxieties.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Oldest Trick: Coitus Interruptus

• The “Pull Out” Method’s Ancient Roots (04:15)
  • Early societies recognized withdrawal (coitus interruptus) as a contraceptive method.
  • The biblical story of Onan (Genesis, 1400 BCE) gives rise to the term “onanism”:
    Helen (04:15): “It’s not an easy art to master. It requires near perfect split second timing and untold amounts of self control, which when it comes to men, is often in quite short supply, if it exists at all.”
  • Ancient Chinese beliefs: Retaining semen was considered to increase health and even achieve immortality (06:28).
  • Ancient Sanskrit texts recommended testicle squeezing and teeth gnashing (08:04).
  • Ancient Arabs referred to withdrawal as “azul.”
  • The Greeks and Romans preferred infanticide and abortion to contraceptives.
  • Despite its unreliability (18/100 failure rate), the pull out method remains popular.
  • Sam (09:23): “It is very much Russian roulette of baby making.”

Shaking, Sneezing, and Wild Gymnastics

• Post-Coital Remedies (09:29)
  • Hippocrates suggested “make the semen fall outside.”
  • Soranos (Greek physician): Post-coital sneezing, squatting, jumping as pregnancy prevention. This persisted through Hebrew, Islamic, and medieval traditions.
    Sam (10:00): “After ejaculation, the woman should rise roughly and sneeze and blow her nose several times, scream and jump backwards nine paces. It’s like all of those things you used to talk about on the playground.”

Ancient Pessaries: Blocking Sperm the “Natural” Way

• Early Barriers (11:26)
  • Pessaries: Devices inserted into the vagina to block sperm.
  • Ancient Egypt (12:34): Crocodile dung mixed with honey used as a pessary.
    Sam (12:55): “I’d rather have the baby... I should be like, okay, let’s just risk it.”
  • Later Egyptian recipes included acacia (which ferments to lactic acid), showing early scientific promise (16:20).
  • Greek missteps: Inserting pepper, fruits—often after sex—misunderstood key timing.
  • Ancient wonder-drug: The silphium plant was so effective it was harvested to extinction; now evidence suggests it actually worked as a contraceptive (17:20).

Toxic Tonics and Dangerous Drinks

• Ancient Hazardous Methods (19:29)
  • Chinese women drank mercury and fried tadpoles.
  • Greek and even 20th-century women ingested lead (blacksmith’s water).
  • Many such “remedies” worked only because they were lethally toxic.
  • Medieval superstitions: Weasel testicles or black cat bones tied to the leg or arm (20:00).

The Mighty Condom

• Earliest Condom-like Devices (21:05)
  • Greek myth: Goat’s bladder used by Pasiphae to avoid King Minos’s dangerous sperm (said to contain “scorpions and serpents”).
  • Ancient Egyptians: Linen penis sheaths for disease protection (22:13); color coded for social status.
  • Chinese and Japanese: Oiled silk, lamb intestines, animal horn penis sheaths (23:00).
  • Helen (22:13): “...in the beginning, they were certainly not ribbed for her pleasure.”

Condoms in the Modern Era & Religious Resistance

• From Medieval to Modern (23:29–27:09)
  • Christians suppressed and shamed contraception after the Roman Empire.
  • Gabriele Fallopio’s “linen sheath” against syphilis (16th century).
  • Earliest use of “condom” in English dates to early 1700s.
  • Uncertain etymology: From “condom” (French town?), Latin “to conceal/protect,” or Persian “kendu” (grain sheath).
  • Condoms nicknamed the “English raincoat” in France; “French letter” in England.
  • Giacomo Casanova preferred lemons as vaginal barriers due to his dislike of condoms.

From Rubber Condoms to the Pill

• Industrial Revolution Innovation (30:10)
  • Charles Goodyear’s vulcanized rubber: First rubber condoms (1858), reusable and expensive.
  • Comstock Law (1873): Banned the mailing or advertisement of contraceptives in the US. Condoms marketed as “rubber safes” or “gentlemen’s rubber goods.”
    Sam (30:42): “Thousands of years of human trial and error involving mercury concoctions, crocodile poo pessaries, and squatting and sneezing led up to this game changing invention.”

The Struggle for Legal Birth Control

• Margaret Sanger’s Legacy (31:43)
  • Founded the American Birth Control League, precursor to Planned Parenthood.
  • Coined “birth control,” and was jailed for her activism (33:31).
  • Her efforts led to key legal successes: Crane decision (1918) and broadened access to contraception.
  • Birth control advocacy tied directly to women’s liberation and societal change.

The Revolution: The Pill and Beyond

• Enovid and Modern Methods (33:48)
  • Enovid, the first birth control pill, launched in 1960.
  • The Pill’s role in launching the sexual revolution.
  • US Supreme Court cases gradually expanded contraception rights through the 1960s–70s.
  • Rise of IUDs and later innovations: Norplant (1990), morning-after pill (2000s).
  • The Pill lauded as the 20th century’s most important scientific advance.
  • Sam (35:03): “There’s a straight line between the Pill and the changes in family structure we now see, with 22% of women earning more than their husbands... Over 100 million women around the world now start their day with the Pill.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Helen (04:15) [On Men’s Self-Control]:
  “It’s not an easy art to master. It does require near perfect split second timing and untold amounts of self control, which when it comes to men, is often in quite short supply, if it exists at all.”

• Sam (09:23) [On Pull-Out Method]:
  “It is very much Russian roulette of baby making.”

• Sam (10:00) [On Ancient Post-Coital Methods]:
  “...after ejaculation, the woman should rise roughly and sneeze and blow her nose several times, scream and jump backwards nine paces. It’s like all those things you used to talk about on the playground...”

• Sam (12:55) [On Crocodile Dung Pessary]:
  “I’d rather have the baby... I should be like, okay, let's just risk it.”

• Helen (17:20) [On Silphium]:
  “[It] was so effective that the ancient Greeks and Romans... harvested it to extinction. Cheers.”

• Sam (23:29) [On Sex and Religion]:
  “Many of the previously used methods of contraception fell out of favour... due to the rise of pesky Christians. Because separating the pleasure of sex from reproduction would of course buy you a one way ticket to eternal damnation.”

• Helen (22:13) [On Early Condoms]:
  “In the beginning, they were certainly not ribbed for her pleasure.”

• Sam (30:42) [On Rubber Condoms]:
  “Thousands of years of human trial and error involving mercury concoctions, crocodile poo pessaries, and squatting and sneezing led up to this game changing invention.”

• Sam (35:03) [On the Impact of the Pill]:
  “There’s a straight line between the Pill and the changes in family structure we now see... Over 100 million women around the world now start their day with the Pill.”

• Helen (35:45) [On Modern Options]:
  “There you have it. Don’t interrupt us. That coitus. Figure something else out.”

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 01:24 — Episode intro and main theme
• 02:43 — Coitus interruptus through history
• 04:15 — The origins of withdrawal, Onan, and religious attitudes
• 06:28 — Ancient Chinese and Indian beliefs and methods
• 11:26 — Physical barriers: Ancient pessaries
• 12:34 — Crocodile dung and honey as contraception
• 16:20 — Continuing history and scientific basis of ancient methods
• 17:20 — The silphium plant’s effectiveness
• 19:29 — Toxic drinks and medieval superstitions
• 21:05 — The history and evolution of condoms
• 23:29 — The Christian clampdown and later innovations
• 27:09 — The word “condom” and its many possible sources
• 29:55 — Casanova and the lemon barrier
• 30:10 — Rubber condoms and the start of the industrial age
• 30:42 — The Comstock Law and criminalization
• 31:43 — Margaret Sanger and the birth control movement
• 33:48 — The arrival and impact of The Pill
• 35:03 — Societal changes thanks to contraception
• 35:45 — Closing thoughts: Modern choices

Closing Tone

Helen and Sam blend irreverence, skepticism, and genuine curiosity as they unravel a history of desperate, creative, and sometimes deadly attempts to control fertility. The episode ends with a rallying cry for informed choice and an appreciation for modern contraceptive options, capped with a wink and characteristic comedic banter.

This episode offers a fascinating, often hilarious journey through humanity’s attempts to manage reproduction, making for equal parts history lesson and social roast—a classic RedHanded adventure.