A (3:09)

And if you Google like, what OT level is. Elisabeth Moss, it's really difficult to find, but I know for a fact she has been in Clearwater for some time. So she's. And you do your OT levels all in clear water. You bang through them. People do them very quickly. Unless you're Nicole Kidman, who only ever stayed at OT2. I know too much about this.

B (3:31)

Yes. I think it's very niche information that we're all getting. I think we need to zoom out.

A (3:36)

Yes, you're right. The most dangerous thing you can do if you take anything away from this episode, only one thing. Take this. They are not a joke. And the most dangerous thing you can do is assume that the Church of Scientology and the people therein are stupid.

B (3:56)

I think that's a good rule for life in general. Just because people believe in absolutely bonkers, batshit mental things doesn't mean they're not incredibly dangerous. In fact, it probably means they're really, really dangerous.

A (4:09)

And that's exactly what Scientology is. They own the lapd, they force abortions, they starve people to death, they torture their most faithful, and I promise they can get you. It's not funny.

B (4:23)

I believe you.

A (4:23)

It's not a joke. Like, don't. The leaflet is not harmless. Don't read it. Straighten the bin. If you want to hex it, burn it, do whatever you want, just do not. Do not do it. Do not go. Scientology's Commander in chief, David Miscavige, is L. Ron Hubbard's vessel on Earth. He is a vicious, calculating spider, and no one has seen his wife Shelley, in the flesh since 2007, the very same year that John Sweeney's documentary came out. Coincidence? Almost certainly no one is looking for Shelley Miscavige, but this Sunday, she will be 64 years old.

B (5:03)

How old was she when she went missing?

A (5:04)

She hasn't been seen in public for 18 years.

B (5:08)

That's mad.

A (5:09)

You can do that, maths. Because I can't.

B (5:11)

She's dead for sure.

A (5:13)

We can discuss.

B (5:15)

Yeah, okay.

A (5:16)

Many people are convinced that she's not.

B (5:22)

Anyway.

A (5:24)

Also, Ms. Cabbage's niece has recently escaped and taken to TikTok as well. I'm not gonna steal her content. You can go and find her yourself. Her name is Jenna. Do as thou wilt. This is not just a shorthand. This is a public service announcement. And here it fucking is.

B (5:40)

Be good if you haven't. Please go and listen to our Deep Dive series on Scientology. Or if you would rather go and watch something to get yourself up to speed, then the best documentary out there is called Going Clear. From this point on, prior knowledge will be assumed you have been warned. For those of us who are already at the starting line, let's take a little run up, just for fun. The current leader of the Church of Scientology is called David Miscavige, and he is a bad, bad man. He took the Scientology helm back in 1986 after L. Ron Hubbard departed this earth for his next mission, somewhere far, far away. Miscavige was not supposed to be the heir to this space throne, but David Miscavige has never let anything get in his way.

A (6:31)

I promise that I'm not going to keep doing this, but it was never supposed to be Dave. He usurped so many people to get them out of his way. L. Ron Hubbard did not want him to be the Messiah.

B (6:43)

Interesting.

A (6:43)

And he was like, well, I'm David Miscavige, so I do what I fucking want.

B (6:47)

I should wait till you're dead, old Ronnie. Mm. His timing, however. David Miscavige's for taking over wasn't the best. He grabbed the top spot of the Church of Scientology just in time for a $15 million lawsuit filed by a former Sea Org member called Lawrence Walsham.

A (7:09)

The Sea Org are the most hardcore division of Scientology. They're like clergy, but with more open air hosings and starvation. And the Sea Org live communally on bases, and before they're allowed to move in, they sign over their soul to Xenu for a billion years. Which sounds laughable and is very funny, but also a terrifying hallmark of commitment. I'm not going to commit myself to anything for a billion years. And if you want more proof that Dead Eyed Dave is horrifyingly dangerous, you need look no further than the Sea Org. In Lawrence Walsham's lawsuit against the Church of Scientology, he claimed that he had been brainwashed, emotionally abused, disconnected from his family, and pushed into a psychosis that shattered his sense of self. During this Californian civil trial, the Xenu story, the Scientology creation myth, was submitted as evidence, and Dave did not like that. He didn't like it so much that his disciples stalked the judge, slashed the judge's tires, and they drowned his dog. Hysterical, though. Really funny.

B (8:21)

Not fucking about. Just so unhinged. Yes, in every way. I mean, it is. It just beggars belief. Really drowned his dog?

A (8:32)

Uh huh.

B (8:34)

Okay. The Church still lost the case and were ordered to pay Lawrence Walsham $2.5 million. Scientology tried to avoid this payment by declaring Bankruptcy. They failed and had to cough up 8.7 million instead. Xenu, becoming a matter of public record, started a fire that Dave couldn't piss fast enough to extinguish. Soon after that ruling, another former Sea Org officer, Christopherson Titchborn, who's surprisingly a woman, like the fakest name ever, sued the Church of Scientology as well, this time in Oregon. Christofferson claimed that she had witnessed the blatant sexual abuse of children during Sea Org training sessions. In the end, she was awarded $39 million and David Miscavige couldn't stand that. So Scientology descended on Portland en masse to protest their religious freedoms being violated. All the big hitters were there. John Travolta went and Stevie Wonder called into the protest and sang, I call to say I love you. Stevie's a fucking Scientologist.

A (9:52)

I don't think he's still in. There are a lot of. There are a lot of, like, Scientology adjacent people who've, like, I just. I may have bought one of the books. I may have gone to a auditing session. There's quite a lot like that. And Stevie's very much in that class. But then I think really in the mid-2000s, a lot of them were just like, ooh, this isn't worth the parties anymore. Yeah, sorry, John Travolta, I'll see you at the flying plane field, whatever. He's got pilot, isn't he? That's where he is. That's where you find John Travolta.

B (10:26)

I think it's probably. Yeah, like you're saying John Travolta, stop being cool.

A (10:32)

I don't know.

B (10:33)

Have they got the hottest, coolest stars these days that people want to be associated with? I guess, arguably other than Tom Cruise, who, despite being absolutely bonkers, which is going to be just the word I use consistently throughout this episode, is still a solid, solid, like, what's the word? Blockbuster banger, like top maverick, they say. Basically saved cinemas again post Covid. But the rest of them, I'm like Elizabeth Moss. All right, sure. TV wise, yeah, great. But John, Geraldo, is he still relevant?

A (11:05)

Oh, hugely. Oh, yeah, maybe.

B (11:07)

I'm out of touch.

A (11:08)

He. He's very well respected.

B (11:10)

Still not enough for Stevie to stick around, though.

A (11:14)

Yeah, apparently not. The majority of hardcore Scientology Sea Org training happens on Gold Base in California, which was built by David Miscavige after L. Ron Hubbard clonked it. It's the most famous one. It's the one that Louis Theroux failed to get into while filming his documentary and just got shouted at by a lady on a public road instead. I actually think no shade, but that documentary, not Louis Finest work. And I think it ended public interest in Scientology because it was so boring. I think there was bang. There was John Sweeney going clear, banger, banger, banger, banger. And everyone was like, I cannot believe this is happening. And then the looming one happened and everyone was like, is that it? Because he didn't have any access and he couldn't get in, he couldn't see it. And then obviously Leah left and now it's all in the podcast realm. But I do think that documentary has a lot to answer. This is just my specialist subject, guys, and no one cares what I think. So, yeah, Gold Base is one thing, but there is a hoe in a different area code. A lot of strong Scientology happens, as I said at the top, in Clearwater, Florida. And let's cast our eyes across the Exhibit A of the Florida files. 1995, Lisa McPherson died as a result of the abuse she sustained in Clearwater whilst training with the Sea Org. And members of that same Sea Org drove Lisa past nine hospitals until they got to one that had a Scientology sympathetic doctor. We are not quite sure when Lisa died, but I would put big money on it being before she was bundled into a car. The medical examiner who eventually determined her cause of death wrote that the body of Lisa McPherson was the worst case of dehydration that he had ever seen. On top of that, Lisa McPherson had spent $176,700 on Scientology in just five years. And Lisa McPherson died with $11 in her bank account and nothing happened. Nothing. Lisa is the only trainee to die at Clearwater that we know about. But abuse records can be easily uncovered by those who bother to look, but no one is looking. Suicides at the Celebrity Centre are actually more common than you would think, because I would think not at all. So even one is more than that. And the Church of Scientology have their own labour camp, which is called the Rehabilitation Project Force. Inside the rpf, disgraced Sea Org members have to do hard labour for 20 hours a day under the Californian sun. They are not permitted to speak, and they have to run everywhere. And because the RPF was classified by a federal judge as a religious punishment, it is therefore protected under the First Amendment. The point is the Church of Scientology, and I keep calling it the Church of Scientology because that is what it legally is in the US and here, I think it's only Spain, where it's classified as not a religion. It's dangerous, nay, murderous. And no one with any legislative heft is making any attempt to stop them, because what they also have is lots of delicious money.

B (14:30)

Now we're kind of caught up. Let's get to Shelley Miscavige herself. Everyone asks, where is Shelley Miscavige? But we have a slightly different question for you this week. Who is Shirley Miscavige?

A (14:43)

No one ever asks, how's Waldo?

B (14:45)

Quite poor Waldo. He's just out there busy trying to find himself. So, good question. Not the Waldo one, though. It was funny. Who is Michelle Miskiewicz? For obvious reasons, there isn't too much out there on her. But here is the best that we have. Michelle. Shelley Diana Miscavige was born in January 1961. Her parents joined the Church of Scientology when she was just 4, and when Shelley turned 12, they signed over their parental rights to L. Ron Hubbard. With that, Shelley was officially a member of the Commodore's Messenger Organization, cmo, who lived aboard the Scientology ship the Apollo with a bunch of other children. L. Ron Hubbard was legally Shelley's father, and his wife, Mary sue was legally Shelley's mother, and they sailed all over the world together, evading tax.

A (15:45)

A lot of people in the Scientology comments with me, you're not invited. Don't come. Well, that said, well, everyone knows that L. Ron Hubbard said, well, if you want to make money, start a religion. And they'll say, well, there's absolutely no evidence that he ever said that. You don't need evidence that he said that. The fact that he lived the majority of his life on international waters with an army of children should tell you that tax was his concern.

B (16:07)

Yeah, I feel like this is one of those times where it screams, watch what people do, not what people say.

A (16:12)

Yes, quite so.

B (16:14)

Yeah. Hubbard's little battalion of child Messengers held enormous influence even in the early age of Scientology. Hubbard was already lauded as semi divine, and access to him was the most valuable currency a person could have. And ever ambitious David Miscavige knew that all too well when he married Shelley in 1982. L. Ron Hubbard died just four years later, and Miscavige swiftly orchestrated a brutal takeover, during which he was aided at least once by members of the lapd.

A (16:49)

That's a fact.

B (16:51)

And Dead Eyed Dave has been running the Scientology show ever since, with his dutiful wife Shelley by his side every step of the way. Until, that is, she wasn't.

A (17:04)

I don't think we can overstate how, like, earth shatteringly important it would be to anybody in Scientology that Shelley was on the Apollo. Like, that's like, quite literally like being one of the 12 disciples. It's so important. And after Tom Cruise broke up with very Buddhist Penelope Cruise, it was Shelley Miscavige's job to get the church's golden boy his next girl. And after a few false starts, actor Katie Holmes, who had had a crush on Tom Cruise since she was 4 years old. I think we discussed this in our series at the time, but marrying your sexual awakening is bad. You should not know. Absolutely not. Nothing good is gonna happen, even if they're not Tom Cruise.

B (17:50)

Mm. Mm.

A (17:51)

Anyway, Katie Holmes snagged the role of a lifetime. In November 2006, Katie Holmes wed Tom Cruise in a castle just outside Rome. David Miscavige was the best man. And the guest list, just like the Portland protest star spangled. And amongst those there gathered was Shelley's childhood friend and Sea Org veteran Leah Remini, who is my patron saint and at the time, very much a Scientologist and hawkeyed. Leah realised that the first lady of her faith was not at the very wedding that she had orchestrated. Scientology has a very strict rule about not leaving your partner in the public lurch. So Shelley's absence was very odd to the devout Leah Remini. Leah Remini knows every single rule that there is, so she's calling it as she sees it. When Leah asked Tommy Davis, the head handler who provoked John Sweeney into television gold. It is my favourite TV moment of all time. Anyway, Leah asked Tommy Davis, who's now out. Way out. He's doing interviews and everything. She asked where Shelley was and Tommy Davis looked her in the eye and he said, you don't have the fucking rank to ask me that. But he didn't know who he was dealing with.

B (19:21)

Yeah, no. I mean, it's hard to keep up, but he should have known.

A (19:26)

I guess so. I mean, Leah's also not. She's not quite a lifer, but like, her parents were in. She was in as a child.

B (19:32)

I see.

A (19:33)

I don't think she was on the Apollo, but sort of like a few steps down, maybe. But, yeah, her and Shelley, lifelong friends.

B (19:40)

So why wasn't Shelley at the wedding in Rome? Let's take a look. Tensions had been building for some time. According to former Top Dog now podcast bro Mike Rinder, the relationship between Mr. And Mrs. Miscavige had been bad since the couple started living on Gold base, where in 2004, David Miscavige had built a literal prison called the Hole.

A (20:06)

Try harder.

B (20:07)

I'm just like, you're not even trying.

A (20:09)

To cover it up. The hole. No, he's not. He's just. He doesn't have the imagination of Hubbard is another one of his major shortfalls.

B (20:16)

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I want to have a little look.

A (20:19)

At this, because, lest we forget, L. Ron Hubbard has written the most novels of all time. Absolutely. Not just science fiction.

B (20:25)

All of them. I mean, David Miscavige just doesn't look like a real person. He.

A (20:31)

No, he doesn't.

B (20:32)

He looks like if Succession had been made in the 90s. Yeah, that's what he looks like. But sure. So, yes, after Dead Eye Dave moved onto Gold Base, he had started to spend a lot of time with his communicator, a woman called Lou Henley Smith. His wife Shelley was suspicious that they were having an affair, and she was right because they were. After the Holmes Cruise nuptials, Leah Remney was pretty sure that Shelley was also right. There was a lot of butt touching between Miscavige and Henley Smith during the crew's wedding reception, which is, you know, quite an obvious giveaway. Additionally, Shelley and David Miscavige got in a very public fight aboard the Scientology ship the Free Winds, and Miscavige publicly degraded his wife at Tom Cruise's birthday party. All big Scientology, no nos. And in 2005, David Miscavige left his wife behind on goal base for a bit. While he was gone, Shelley filled in an org board, which is essentially Scientology speak for a cabinet reshuffle. Miscavige was absolutely furious that Shelley had done this without his permission. Just a week later, Shelley put her things into storage, and then she vanished after she was seen being escorted to a car in tears. Many people, including journalist Tony Ortega, suspect that Shelley was hauled off to the Hole or sent to the even more isolated Twin Peaks.

A (22:09)

Gets better.

B (22:10)

Twin Peaks is also called the Rim of the World, Crestline, and Rim Forest.

A (22:14)

Would you like to go to the Rim Forest? Oh, yeah.

B (22:20)

No imagination. He calls it Twin Peaks.

A (22:23)

He sure does.

B (22:24)

What a fucking balance.

A (22:27)

Shelley has only been seen publicly Once more in 2007, when she was escorted to her father's funeral. The handler who took her to her dad's funeral is called Ann Joseph. Ann Joseph is Marty Rathbun's ex wife. Marty Rathbun. You can look him up. Also used to be top dog Scientologist. Now out also does podcasts.

B (22:52)

Oh, yeah, I recognize him. Yeah, yeah, I've watched interviews with him.

A (22:56)

And Ann Joseph once publicly hosed down an elderly woman, an elderly Sea Org member, with cold water. For labelling some boxes incorrectly. Ann Joseph is fucking terrifying. If this was not a shorthand, I would tell you more, but I'm not allowed. Anyway. The last photograph that we have of Shelley was taken at the West Covina DMV in 2010 when her license was renewed. She was also registered to vote in the Northern California town of Petrolia, where Scientology do have an underground base full of L. Ron Hubbard's first editions. And by 2013, Leah Remini had had enough. Her and Shelley had been friends most of their lives. And although Remini had now left Scientology, a good soldier never leaves a man behind. On 5 August 2013, Leah wrote a letter to her friend, and she gave it to the LAPD with the instructions to pass it on. And I've got some excerpts for you. She posted the whole thing on Twitter. For years, I've been trying to get confirmation that you are okay. I was met with such resistance that it has caused me enough concern to go to extreme measures to make sure you are, in fact, okay. Shelley, this is not right. I don't care what you think you're doing. This is not lrh. I will take care of you. All you need to say to this person who has come to get you is I want to leave with you now. This letter was never passed to Shelley Miscavige by the lapd.

B (24:30)

The same day, Leah Remini also filed a missing persons report in which she stated that she and several others were concerned that Shelley was being detained by her husband against her will.

A (24:42)

So she gets co signers on this?

B (24:43)

Basically, yeah. Yeah. Leah made it clear to police that Shelley Miscavige was visibly afraid of her husband. A few days later, the LAPD announced that they had visited Shelley and that she was totally fine. And for years, we have had no real details about this supposed meeting. Until Yasha Ali showed up. Like Tony Ortega, Yasha Ali is a journalist who has dedicated their career to investigating Scientology. And Yasha Ali has uncovered some receipts. On Thursday 8 August 2013, just after 5pm, two LAPD officers met with David Miskovich's personal lawyer, Jeffrey Riffer, where Jeffrey was a woman who claimed to be Shelley Miscavige. The detectives checked this woman's id, took her fingerprints, and went back to their hq. The next day was confirmed by two lab technicians that these prints could not be definitively matched with those on Shelley Miscavige's DMV record.

A (25:47)

Instead of reaching out to the Miscavige's attorney to obtain another set of prints, which Witches Protocol. When illegible prints are taken. Shelley Miscavige's file was removed from the missing person's database. And the press were told that any concern for Shelley was, quote, unquote, unfounded. Apparently, detectives reached out to the coffee shop where this meeting took place, and they asked for the CCTV footage, which was handed over by the cafe. No problem. But all of the videos from every camera were totally scrambled. Scientology released a statement claiming that the whole thing was a publicity stunt for washed up actress Leah Remini and a blatant waste of police time. But why on earth would the LAPD meet the subject of a missing person's report in a coffee shop and not at a police station? And this is what I mean when I say that Scientology own the lapd. They are treated with the equivalent courtesy that would be extended to a law enforcement agency.

B (26:50)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (26:52)

Which makes it more than a cult. It's actually a borderless, totalitarian state that has its own justice system, and it is allowed to exist completely tax free.

B (27:02)

Yeah. And Leah Remini filed an official records request in 2016 demanding documentation pertaining to what actually happened. But surprise, surprise, the force never gave her anything. A welfare check was requested by members of Shelley's family not affiliated with Scientology. Again, nothing. The San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department did not follow up on their request, claiming they needed evidence of Shelley's location being in their jurisdiction before they could act.

A (27:36)

Which is, like, which one is it then? Is she missing and you don't know where she is, or you do know where she is and she's fine. You can't have both.

B (27:43)

Yeah. Now, there have been a few alleged sightings of Shelley Miscavige over the years, but again, none of them have been investigated by the lapd.

A (27:54)

So where is she? I think she's on Twin Peaks. Scientology have pulled this exact trick before with L. Ron Hubbard's own wife, Mary sue, after she took the fall for a bunch of frauds and served literal prison time for Scientology. She was hidden away until she died. Shirley Miscavige has been disappeared, dead or not, because she is a threat. From 1986 to 2005, she was witness to everything Dead Eyed Dave did. She was copied in on every internal report, and she had a tape recorder rolling at all times. Every rule that he broke, every high ranking Scientologist he assaulted, every time he strayed from the philosophy laid out by L. Ron Hubbard, she was there. Tony Ortega, who has a blog called the Bunker, he's the one who does. Does Shirley Miscavige Even though it's Christmas, he's put years of work into Scientology. He is convinced that she's not dead. The argument he makes being it's more difficult to hide a death.

B (28:52)

Yeah.

A (28:53)

And they don't have the same record of murdering people and getting away with it as they do disappearing women until they die naturally. I don't know if I'm fully with him on that argument. I don't think they're above killing her. I think she's really dangerous. But if I'm being really honest, the only reason I think she's still alive is a feeling. I just feel like she's still with us. Shelley, can you hear me?

B (29:21)

We'll never know.

A (29:23)

And what I do know for a fact is because of how close she was to Hubbard. Way closer than Miscavige ever was. If anyone could kick off a Sea Org mutiny, it's Shelley. She's not a saint either. Terrifying woman, but she absolutely has been disappeared or killed because she could have rocked. Could have rocked the Apollo too much.

B (29:46)

Wow. The woman who rocked the boat.

A (29:50)

Someone make that instead of Top Gun. Seven million, please.

B (29:54)

Never. So that's it, guys. That is the anniversary birthday update of where is Shelly Miscavige on her birthday? Probably not having a fun time, but that's it. We'll see you next week for another shorthand.

A (30:07)

Goodbye.

B (30:08)

Goodbye.

A (30:19)

Sa.