Podcast
Reflective Rebels Podcast: Human Stories, Brave Business
Hosted by Ben Hickman · EN
For business owners who feel like their days define them instead of the other way around - and are ready to do something about it.
Real stories of brave action from people who stopped pretending everything was fine and actually made a change. Not polished success stories or corporate LinkedIn bullshit. Just honest conversations about the leaps people took, what they risked, and what's happened since - the messy, the meaningful, and the still-figuring-it-out.
We talk about what shaped you, the moments that changed you, and what joy looks like now that you're building a business without selling your soul.
You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, find courage in someone else's story, and maybe get the push you need to take your own brave action.
A business podcast for UK business owners who want real growth without selling their soul.
Life's too short to be shit.
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
I Was a Puzzle Piece That Didn't Fit Anywhere - Kim Anson's Story
2w ago00:59:03Tap to summarizeNot fitting in doesn't always look like being left out. Sometimes it's just a quiet sense that wherever you are, you're slightly on the outside of it. Kim Anson spent years feeling like that, working three jobs at once, stuck and skint, with pottery always running quietly in the background. Now she runs her own studio in Carlisle where people walk in and the stress drops off their shoulders. It didn't happen with a plan. It happened because she never stopped making pots.Listen if...You've got a thing you keep coming back to but can't figure out how to make it your actual life.You're working hard, maybe across multiple jobs, and still asking yourself "what am I actually doing?"You've never quite fitted in anywhere and you're starting to wonder if that's a problem or a superpower.Keywordsnot fitting in, finding your tribe, creative business, self-employment anxiety, saying no in business, career change, starting a business from nothing, self-doubt, business owner mental health, setting boundaries, identityFive Lessons from This EpisodeKim was working retail, pubs, and a stockroom after uni, stuck and skint. But she was spending her spare money on pottery machinery instead of house deposits. The thing you're meant to build might already be the thing you can't stop doing.Her grandma passed away and left her money. Kim put every penny into a studio and her parents matched it. The turning point wasn't a plan. It was knowing what she wanted and backing it.Within a year Kim was ill from running the studio alongside her school job. Something has to give, and it's better if you choose what before your body does.Kim said yes to everything for a year, then spent the next year saying no. She worked out what drained her and now protects her days off without apology.Kim never changed shape to fit anyone else's puzzle. She built her own, and the right people found her.Key Moments(00:07:08) Kim on feeling like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anyone else's puzzle.(22:37) The sober story. How binge drinking crept in and how Dry January became permanent.(27:46) "What am I doing?" The years of being stuck after uni.(37:16) Kim's grandma passes away and every penny goes into a studio.(43:57) What the studio became. People walking in and the stress dropping off.(50:49) The year-of-yes followed by year-of-no approach to boundaries.Quotable Moments"I was almost like a jigsaw puzzle piece that didn't fit into anybody else's puzzle." On feeling slightly on the outside of everything."What am I doing? I'd turn to my mate and say, what the fuck are we doing?" The stuck years after uni."There wasn't even a shadow in my mind that I was going to spend it on a holiday or put it down for a deposit." On her grandma's inheritance."It's my life and I've chosen it." Three years into the studio.About KimKim Anson runs KAH Ceramics, a pottery studio in Carlisle. Instagram: @kah_ceramicsAbout BenBen Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach on a mission to spread joy.Support the Podcast: Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in Touchreflectiverebels.co.uk | Instagram: @reflectiverebels |
Transcribe →Trapped in Your Own Business: Why Calm Comes Before Strategy
3w ago00:08:27Tap to summarizeYou started this business for freedom. But somewhere along the way it became the thing trapping you. You're physically there every day because it feels like it won't run without you. You're emotionally carrying every decision, every salary, every problem. And mentally, your brain never switches off, not at five o'clock, not at ten, not at two in the morning.In this solo episode, Ben talks about the cycle he sees constantly in coaching. Business owners who are so deep inside their own business that there's no time to think, no space to breathe, and no way to see a route out. Fear keeps you where you are. Time disappears into reacting to everything. Boundaries don't exist because every yes feels necessary. And the money doesn't add up to let you step back, even if you wanted to.The usual advice to just delegate more doesn't work when you're trapped in a loop that big. Ben's starting point is simpler and more honest than that: before strategy, before systems, before hiring, you need calm.This episode is about the gap between the business you imagined building and the one you're actually stuck inside. Ben breaks down the four things that keep business owners boxed in: fear that standards will slip if you step back, no time to think strategically because you're constantly reacting, no boundaries because you're saying yes to everything, and money that feels too tight to allow you to delegate.One of Ben's clients described it perfectly. Instead of being the thermostat, setting the temperature and the direction, she'd become the thermometer, just reacting to whatever was happening around her. That image captures the whole problem.The episode lands on one practical challenge. Block out three hours somewhere that isn't your office. Sit with one question: what am I doing because only I can do it, and what am I doing just because I've always done it? You can't redesign something when you're trapped inside it.More at www.reflectiverebels.co.uk
Transcribe →I Still Enjoy My Job. I Just Can't Switch It Off: Neil McBrearty
4w ago00:52:23Tap to summarizeYou love what you do. You're proud of what you've built. But somewhere along the way, the business stopped being something you run and started being something that runs you. You can't remember the last time you properly switched off.Neil McBrearty has been in the carpet and flooring trade for over 35 years. He left school at 16, fell into a trade through his dad's contacts, and built a business from a van and a good reputation into a thriving shop with a loyal team around him. Along the way he's survived the Carlisle floods twice, losing his shop, his house, and his warehouse in a single night, COVID lockdowns, and losing his Dad. None of it stopped Neil. He just got up the next day and got on with it.In this conversation, Neil talks about the mentors who shaped him, the pride in his work that customers kept coming back for, and the life he's built through hard graft, good relationships, and a refusal to cut corners. He's also honest about the tension most business owners never say out loud: that the thing you're most proud of can also be the thing that feels like a great weight on you. It's a warm, grounded conversation about what success actually looks like when you've earned every bit of it the hard way.Listen if you...You can't stop checking your phone even when you know there's nothing urgent. You built something you're proud of but it doesn't feel like yours anymore. You've watched someone you love get swallowed by their business and you're wondering if you're next. You left school without a plan and still wonder if you're winging it. You keep going because stopping isn't something you know how to do. You're proud of your work but you can't remember the last time you enjoyed it without the weight.Quotable Moments"I knew I could do the job, but you just done it. You took a little bit more time and you got faster and quicker and better." On learning by doing at 21."Everything you've worked for has just gone. It's emotional." On seeing his shop after the floods."I've always liked to be satisfied with the work that's been done." The pride that built his reputation."It's hard to enjoy a business though, it's just constant." The line most business owners think but never say.About Neil Neil McBrearty runs Home Carpets by Neil McBrearty in Carlisle, Cumbria. Over 35 years in the carpet and flooring trade. About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach working with small business owners and leaders to find joy and build a life worth living. reflectiverebels.co.ukSupport the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in Touch reflectiverebels.co.uk
Transcribe →Redundancy, Rainbow Farts & Building a Business From Nothing: Lisa Jackson's Story
Apr 2800:59:26Tap to summarizeStarting over after redundancy is terrifying, especially when you've got no savings, no plan and no idea what comes next. Lisa Jackson was made redundant three weeks before Christmas, came home to Cumbria, started doing marketing for ten quid an hour, and built Acorn Marketing from scratch. Fifteen years on, she's still running it, still juggling business with motherhood and caring for her dad, and still carrying that little cloud of worry that never fully goes away.Listen if you...You're lying awake wondering whether starting again means you've failed. You run your own business but you never actually planned to. You feel guilty for working when you're with your kids and guilty for not working when you're at your desk. You've got a little cloud of financial worry following you around even when things are going well. You know you're creative but you've buried it under client work and to-do lists.Keywords: starting over after redundancy, building a business from nothing, creative business owner, work life balance small business, mum guilt business owner, women in business Cumbria, niching down, business owner financial anxiety, setting boundaries self-employed, entrepreneur overwhelmFive LessonsYou don't need a grand plan to start something that works. Lisa started by helping people for almost nothing. The business grew from doing the thing in front of her.Redundancy can be the push you didn't know you needed. If you're in that moment right now, it might be the start of something, not the end.The juggle never gets comfortable. Lisa talks openly about mum guilt, carer guilt and the pull between her business and the people who need her. She's set boundaries that make it survivable.Creativity isn't a hobby, it's how some people make sense of the world. Lisa is niching back towards arts and theatre marketing because that's where she comes alive.The financial worry doesn't disappear just because the business is doing well. Fifteen years in, Lisa still feels that little cloud.Quotable Moments"I was charging ten pounds an hour and just putting myself out there.""It's almost like a little cloud that comes around with you. What if that client disappeared?""Sitting at my desk is respite. It doesn't really feel like work because I love it so much.""I just needed to do that thing."About Lisa Jackson Founder of Acorn Marketing, Penrith, Cumbria. Author of Dr. April and the Rainbow Farts. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lisajackson26 | Instagram: @acorn_marketingAbout Ben Hickman ILM Level 7 qualified coach, Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy - the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.Share this episode with one person who needs to hear it.reflectiverebels.co.uk | @reflectiverebels | Episode length: 59 minutes
Transcribe →Trust Yourself: Building a Business From Scratch When Everything Feels Uncertain - Abigail's Story
Apr 1401:01:19Tap to summarizeCareer change looks brave from the outside and feels like daily panic from the inside. Abigail Fleming spent fifteen years as a fashion designer in London before she did the maths on nursery fees, retrained from scratch, and started Ben the Hoose, her interior design business in Kendal. Four years in, she's still building, still scared, still going.Listen if...You feel a low hum of panic even when things are going wellYou've made a career change and quietly wonder if you got it rightYou walk into networking events in your own town where nobody knows your nameYou did the maths on nursery fees and realised your old job wasn't going to bend around your new lifeYou're a few years in and still waiting for it to feel easierYou wonder if you're brave or just stubborn, and whether there's a differenceKeywords career change, imposter syndrome, business owner panic, working mum, mum guilt, starting a business after kids, building a business from scratch, business owner self-doubt, retraining, leaving London, interior design business, Cumbria businessFive lessons from the conversationThe old life rarely bends around the new one. Abigail did the maths on twelve-hour days and nursery fees and saw the thing most people don't want to say out loud. The brave bit isn't realising it. The brave bit is acting on it.Panic isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. Abigail describes it showing up daily, four years into a business she loves. Most of us are taught to read fear as a stop sign. It's actually just weather.You can be direct about what you want without being too much. On the first date with the man who'd become her husband, Abigail told him she wanted children and didn't want to waste her time. The clarity didn't push him away. It got her the life she was after.Building something nobody's heard of yet is unglamorous work. There's no breakthrough moment. There's brochures dropped at suppliers, friendly hellos at building companies, networking events where you start from zero, and turning up again next week.Trusting yourself isn't a feeling you arrive at. It's a thing you do while the panic is still happening. The closing line of the episode is about dating, but it transposes to every brave thing she's done since.Quotable moments"I don't want to waste my time." Abigail on the first date with her now husband, being clear from the start about what she wanted."Panic will come on a daily basis." Four years into running her own business, on what nobody tells you about going it alone."I can do anything attitude, until you land that job and you're like, gosh, how am I going to do it?" On the gap between confidence and reality the moment a big project lands."Just trust yourself to be who you are and be able to meet the person that loves you for being you." The line Abigail would give her younger self. Said about dating, lands somewhere much bigger.About Abigail Abigail Fleming is the founder of Ben the Hoose, an interior design studio based in Kendal working with residential and commercial clients across Cumbria and Lancashire. About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach helping small business owners find joy through self-knowledge, courage and brave action.Support the podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in touch reflectiverebels.co.ukEpisode length: approximately 1 hour 1 minute
Transcribe →Starting Over at 50 With No Plan, No Savings and No Confidence - Rebecca Bird's Story
Mar 3100:54:23Tap to summarizeYou know that feeling where your career looks successful from the outside but it's quietly running you into the ground? Rebecca Bird was an MD, on anxiety pills and sleeping pills, so deep in the burnout cycle she couldn't see how bad things had got. In this episode she talks about walking away from all of it and starting again at 50 with nothing but a Canva flyer and three months' worth of belief.Listen if you...You've been working until 11pm and telling yourself it's just a busy phase.You know you need to make a change but you're waiting until you feel ready.You perform confidence at networking events while falling apart on the inside.You've built something successful and you're quietly wondering why it doesn't feel like enough.You don't know who you are without your job title.Keywords: business owner burnout, starting over at 50, entrepreneur mental health, burnout recovery, imposter syndrome business owner, work life balance, career change, self-doubt, overcoming anxiety, setting up a business, starting a business after burnout, vulnerable leadershipFive Lessons from This EpisodeThe hamster wheel doesn't announce itself. Rebecca didn't realise how bad things had got until she was on medication and off work. When you're in it, you can't see the wood for the trees.You don't need a plan, savings, or confidence to start. Rebecca's dad told her to "paddle your own canoe." She set up Precision HR in five days, gave herself three months, and assumed she'd end up getting a job.The fear doesn't go away, you just learn to do things scared. Rebecca was so anxious about networking that her counsellor gave her a strategy for what to do if nobody spoke to her. She went anyway.Some things belong in the f*** it bucket. Rebecca's sister bought her an actual bucket. If you can't change it and worrying won't help, it goes in the bucket. She still uses it.Growth and wellbeing don't have to be mutually exclusive. Rebecca's building again, but this time the work-life balance is non-negotiable.Quotable Moments"If I don't do it now, I never will. I'm going to be 50.""I come across as this confident, outgoing person. I wouldn't have my photo taken. I never went networking anywhere.""Are those emails you're doing till 11 o'clock at night going to make any real difference?""The worst thing for me would be sitting there thinking, well I failed and it's because I didn't do those things."About RebeccaRebecca Bird is the founder of Precision HR, based in Cumbria. Find her on LinkedIn.About BenBen Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. Reflective Rebels exists to spread joy, the kind that comes from knowing who you are, what you want, and having the courage to go and get it.Support the PodcastShare this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in TouchFor coaching enquiries visit reflectiverebels.co.uk. Find Ben on Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Transcribe →Why Success Doesn't Feel Like Success (And What To Do About It)
Mar 2400:10:24Tap to summarizeSomething weird happens when things are actually going well. You hit your targets, good stuff is happening, and then one piece of bad news lands and suddenly that's the only thing you can see. This episode is about why your brain does that, and what you can actually do about it.Listen if you...You've hit a goal you've been chasing for months and felt absolutely nothing when you got there.You know rationally that things are going well, but one bad thing happens and it wipes everything else out.Your response to stress is to work harder and quietly drop all the things that actually make you feel human.You're so fixed on where you want to be in six months that you've stopped noticing where you are right now.You've heard of gratitude journalling and always thought it sounded a bit naff, but you're starting to wonder.You feel like you should have your shit together by now, and somehow that just makes it worse.Keywordsbusiness owner burnout, entrepreneur overwhelm, imposter syndrome, negativity bias, arrival fallacy, gratitude practice, mindfulness for business owners, fear of failure, self-worth, burnout recovery, overcoming self-doubt, business owner mental healthKey Moments00:00 - Ben's recorded the intro five times and decides to just open with that. It tells you immediately what kind of episode this is going to be.01:30 - A client leaves the Badass Business Lab saying they didn't get value for money. Ben fixates on it despite hitting his revenue targets the same week.03:27 - The negativity bias, explained without the jargon. Why our brains do this and why it's not a personal failing.04:05 - The arrival fallacy. How we're so busy chasing the next thing that we forget we're already standing on the last one.05:05 - What Ben actually did about it, and it wasn't working harder.07:54 - Getting curious about failure instead of just feeling bad about it. How sorting his own state first meant he could actually learn something and do something with it.Quotable Moments"I was taking away the things that make me feel good and acting habitually out of a sense of panic." The moment Ben clocked what his stress response was actually doing to him."Energy in is energy out." Not a throwaway line. This is the thing that got him out of it. If you're running on empty, you cannot do good work for the people who are counting on you."There only exists this one beautiful moment in the present." The reminder that the future you're anxious about doesn't exist yet, and right now is the only place any of this actually happens."There's no such thing as failure, only data." The reframe that made it possible to learn from the client leaving rather than just feel terrible about it.About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. He works with business owners and leaders who want to build something worth having. reflectiverebels.co.ukSupport the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in Touch Interested in coaching? Head to reflectiverebels.co.uk or find Ben on Instagram and LinkedIn.Episode length: 10:23
Transcribe →I Just Thought, Why Not? Brave Decisions and Starting Over - Cat Park's Story
Mar 1701:04:16Tap to summarizeMost of us have a thing we keep almost doing. The idea we talk ourselves out of before it gets any air. The decision we're saving for when we feel more ready. Cat Park has never really understood that instinct. Her answer to a crossroads has almost always been the same: why not? If it doesn't work, change it. This conversation is about what it actually looks like to live that way.Listen if you...You've got an idea but you keep talking yourself out of it before you've even tried.You're waiting for the right moment and it never quite arrives.You tell yourself you'll do it properly when you've got a plan, and the plan never quite comes together.You know what you want but you're scared of backing yourself and getting it wrong.You look at other people making bold moves and wonder how they just do it without all the noise in their head.Keywords brave decisions, giving it a go, bold action, business owner mindset, backing yourself, fear of failure, self-doubt, starting a business without a plan, reinvention, entrepreneurship, Reflective Rebels, UK business podcastFive lessonsThe plan doesn't have to come first. Cat built Ten Letter PR from nothing but a laptop and a contacts list. No business plan, no financial backing, no roadmap. She sent emails and ran with it. The plan, if it came at all, came later.Fearlessness isn't the absence of doubt. Cat calls herself the biggest overthinker and means it. The difference isn't that she doesn't feel the hesitation. It's that she makes the call anyway and figures it out as she goes.Moments of disruption have a way of unlocking things. The 2005 Carlisle floods filled Cat's first house to waist height and somehow she came out of it thinking: there's definitely more to life than this. It was that thought, not the disaster itself, that sent her to London two weeks later. The "why not" instinct is a muscle. Cat was raised by a mother who modelled it, grew up with enough independence to trust it, and has spent her whole adult life exercising it. It gets harder as you get older and the stakes feel higher. But it doesn't have to disappear.Knowing when to let go is its own kind of brave action. Walking away from Ten Letter after twelve years wasn't a retreat. It was Cat applying the same instinct in reverse: this no longer fits, so what's next? The courage that builds things is the same courage that releases them.Key moments00:00 — Cat's Friday night routine. Tidy house, tidy mind, Prosecco, charcuterie board. You know exactly who you're listening to within five minutes.05:50 — Growing up in rural Cumbria with a headteacher mum, locking up the house alone as kids, and where the independence came from.24:00 — The 2005 Carlisle floods, the ferret in the Topshop shoebox, and the realisation that sent her to London two weeks later.26:47 — Why bold moves felt easy when she was younger, and what's changed. The emotional heart of the episode.33:00 — Day one at the music channel, the quiet confidence, and the six month prediction that came true.57:44 — Handing Ten Letter to Nina. The conversation about letting go as its own act of courage.Want to go deeper?If this conversation has got you thinking about your own next move, Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Cumbria. He works with business owners who are ready to stop waiting and actually do something about it. Find out more at reflectiverebels.co.uk or follow along on Instagram.
Transcribe →Fear of Failure: Why I Nearly Never Made This Episode
Mar 1000:09:56Tap to summarizeThere's a thing you've been putting off. Ben nearly didn't make this episode for the same reason: fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of looking like a plonker in front of people he respects. This solo episode is him thinking out loud about what actually stops us from doing the things we want to do, recorded walking up a hill in Cumbria because sometimes you just have to go.Listen if you...Have been telling yourself you'll do the scary thing when you've got more time, more confidence, or more of a clue what you're doing.Know there's something you could put out into the world but keep finding reasons not to.Spend more energy worrying about what people will think than actually doing the thing.Feel like everyone else has it more together than you, and starting something new will just expose that.Keep waiting to feel ready, even though you suspect ready isn't coming.Keywords: fear of failure, overcoming self-doubt, perfectionism, fear of judgement, imposter syndrome, brave action, self-doubt business owner, courage, people pleasing, fear of what people think, UK business coaching podcast, starting something newFive LessonsFear is almost never about the thing itself. The excuse is rarely the real reason.Most people are not watching, and most people do not care. The audience you're performing for in your head is bigger than the one that actually exists.The people it's not for don't matter. Make it for the one person who hears it and does something differently as a result.You are not supposed to be good at something the first time. Aim for four out of ten. Get it done. Learn.Life is in the doing, not the arriving. Waiting until you're ready means waiting through most of it.Key Moments with Timestamps00:01 — Ben explains why solo episodes are finally happening in season two.02:30 — He admits the real reason he kept putting them off: self-doubt and fear of what people would think.04:07 — Three things he'd say to a client standing where he was: most people won't see it, the ones who hate it aren't your people, and you're not supposed to be good at it yet.06:34 — Why aiming for four out of ten is not lowering your standards but finally giving yourself permission to start.08:00 — The invitation: write down the thing you've been wanting to do, ask three questions about it, then go.Quotable Moments"The ego trying to protect us from feeling like an outsider is one of the biggest things that stops us from going out there and doing the things we want to do.""F**k them. This is not for them.""It would be totally arrogant, bizarre and bonkers to believe that on go one, I'd be any good at this whatsoever.""Life is not in me getting to the summit of the hill. Life's in this moment right now in me having a bloody go."About Ben: Ben Hickman is a business coach and host of Reflective Rebels, on a mission to spread joy. reflectiverebels.co.ukSupport the Podcast: The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.Get in Touch: reflectiverebels.co.uk and reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletterEpisode length: Approximately 10 minutes.
Transcribe →I Doubted Myself Every Single Day (And Built an Animation Studio Anyway) - Lou's Story
Mar 301:06:24Tap to summarizeLou wakes up every morning and her brain tells her she can't do it. That she's not good enough. That she should quit. Every day. And then she does it anyway.Lou is the founder of an animation studio (built in Carlisle, run internationally) with credits on CBeebies and a viral flying pig racking up 16 million Giphy views in four months. She's been told by recruiters she'd never make it. By doctors she'd never heal. By her own head, daily, that this was impossible.This conversation is about what self-belief actually looks like, not the Instagram version, but the daily, grinding, sometimes tearful reality of building something brave.Listen if you:Doubt yourself daily but refuse to give up on your dreamWant to build something meaningful but wonder if you're good enoughNeed proof that self-belief can be built, not just born withAre ready to stop waiting to feel readyKey Takeaways:Self-belief and self-doubt aren't opposites, they live side by side every dayThe people who succeed aren't the ones without fear, they're the ones who get faster at bouncing backConnections and relationships are the real engine behind every career breakthroughFail fast, learn fast. Don't spend a year on something when a day will tell you the same thingBelief in yourself is a practice, not a personality traitTimestamps:00:00 Introduction06:00 What makes people fall in love with characters and stories09:00 Little Lou — art easels, Saturday morning cartoons and the Teletubbies moment18:00 College, university and finding your people25:00 The recruiter who said "you're not good enough — come back when you're better"29:00 Quitting the day job and going all in39:00 Working on CBeebies' Cloudbabies — and having a baby at the same time42:00 Self-belief vs self-doubt — the daily fight47:00 The tools Lou uses to get out of her own head51:00 Healing from autoimmune illness the doctors said was incurable57:00 Pigasus — the flying pig with 16 million views and a serious messageWant more honest stories like this? Join the rebellion: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletterFind Lou: @loukneath | @positivelypigasus | positivelypigasus.com | plus3k.tvFind Ben: @reflective_rebels | reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter
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