Allie Beth Stuckey (0:00)

How to deal with a husband who is deconstructing his faith. What is my favorite part about being a mom? What's in my purse? Why are conservatives always fighting each other? What are we even fighting about? I am answering all of this and more on today's episode of Relatable. It's brought to you by our friends at Good ranchers. Go to goodranchers.com Allie that's goodranchers.com Alli Foreign hey guys. Welcome to Relatable. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. We're going to do something a little bit different today. We are going to do a Q and A episode. If you have stuck around for any of my maternity leaves, you know that we do a lot of these when I'm on maternity leave because it's easy content. But I also like to just make sure that I am addressing the things that you guys are curious about when I can in kind of like a rapid fire way. Now, rapid fire might be. I spend 20 minutes on one question, but typically I try to go through as many as I possibly can. Some of them are great questions. They're just maybe too theologically deep for this kind of format. I don't ever want to riff on something that really requires a lot of biblical exegesis. I want to make sure I dedicate like a whole episode or segment to that. So if you don't hear your question here today, it's not because it wasn't good, but it might just take a lengthier response. So we'll just get straight into it. Here's a good one. Um, and this is a theological one, but I do have the verse on hand. This is a tough one. A lot of people have asked me this question before. How do I deal with a husband who is deconstructing his faith? If you don't know what deconstruction is, that usually means that someone is dismantling the tenets of their faith. They are starting to question their beliefs, and they are taking it apart. Now, all Christians are called to ask questions because we are to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. That is one thing that distinguishes Christianity from cults. The biggest thing being that Christianity is actually true. But cults shut down questions. They don't want to answer questions. They'll tell you to put questions on a shelf or hide them away or even tell you that you are unrighteous for asking questions. But Christianity encourages theological inquiry. We encourage apologetics, but we do believe because God is the source of Truth, that he created all things, that our answers will be best found in Scripture, in his revealed word, not somewhere out there. A lot of people who say, who are deconstructing, they say that they are just asking questions. They're asking questions to enemies of the faith, like they're asking questions to the atheists, to the skeptics, or they are looking for a justification for their own sin. And they are finding that in their non believing friends, but they're finding conviction. When they go to the Word, that conviction makes them uncomfortable and they're looking to ease that, that tension that they feel without repenting. That is a lot of times how deconstruction starts. And so it's not just about disentangling from false teachings that maybe you grew up with. This deconstruction typically results in destruction of the faith. Not always, but often. And it is usually a person who has decided that they are progressive politically, that they no longer believe that homosexuality is wrong, or they no longer believe that there's only male and female, maybe because of their own struggles or because of someone in their life. And so that is often like that opens the floodgates for all kinds of heresy for questioning the validity of Christianity altogether. So that is very difficult. If you are a believing wife and you are watching your husband not just go through a season of doubt, not just struggle, not just say, huh, that thing that I believed growing up, I don't think that's true because I'm reading this in scripture now and that contradicts that. That's all well and good, normal part of sanctification. But you're watching your husband, the person that you are one flesh with, maybe that you are raising kids with, the person who you thought you knew when you first married, you probably got married because of that shared faith. Now they are questioning Christianity altogether. That is really difficult. So I just want to like sympathize with you and say that I'm sorry that you are going through that. That is really tough, especially if you are parenting children with this person. Because marriage is already hard. Even if you have people who are very similar, who have the same shared faith foundation, it is even harder sometimes, maybe seemingly impossible with someone that you don't have the same set of biblical values with, who don't share that with you. So that is tough. What the Bible says about wives winning over their unbelieving husbands is something that is really tough for me. That would be really tough for me. First Peter 3:1. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husband so that even if they do not obey the Word. They may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives. So you, in being faithful, in being gentle, in being kind and being gracious and being loving and being long suffering and being charitable, you are showing an example of Christ to your unbelieving husband that God can use and has used many times to soften your husband's heart and win them over to Christ. That does not mean that you cannot ever use words. It's just saying that husbands can be won over without you using words. Because the reality of male and female and husband and wife still exists. The reality of gender roles still exists, that you can't have two. You can't have two capitans. You just can't. You. You can't. You gotta have someone who is the head honcho, who is making the ultimate decision. And that reality still, still exists, even if your husband is not a Christian, which is very, very difficult. Now, of course, you never follow your husband into sin. You never allow sin for yourself or your children. Even if your husband says it. You do not remain in an abusive situation. No, ma'am, don't use this verse to justify that kind of thing because I do not want you putting yourself or your children in danger. We are simply talking about an unbelieving husband. Maybe he's not going to church with you anymore. Maybe he says he doesn't believe in the Bible. Maybe he's acting in a way, talking in a way that is not Christlike. Very difficult. Not grounds for divorce, but very difficult. And you remember that God is your Savior. He is your strength. He is your sanctifier. He will never change. Hebrews 13:8. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever, ever. He is faithful, even when we are faithless. He's got you. He loves you. He will complete your faith. He will bring you to the end. He will sustain you. And he sees every part of you, has forgiven all of your sins, and cherishes you, even when you feel uncherished and betrayed by the person that you married. So you are relentless in your prayer. You are completely dependent upon the Lord to be your good character, to be your righteousness, to be your strength. You continue to raise your children in the Lord, and you do what you can to share the gospel with your husband. I know women in this position. Gosh, it is difficult. I also say, like, surround yourself with solid believers, because like women, we really don't like relational tension. Most women, not all, most women don't like confrontation. Men in general handle confrontation better because they can just like Tell a guy, dude, that was not cool. I didn't like that you did that. And they're like, bro, I'm sorry. And then they can give each other a hug and be fine, but. Or they can punch each other and then be fine. Women, it's like layers and layers and layers and years of passive aggressiveness before they might have a confrontation. And even if they do, then they pretend like it didn't happen or they just like allow the friendship to grow apart. I'm talking in generalities here. And so like, women will tend to follow their husbands if their husband says, yeah, I don't think this is true about Christianity and more anymore. Then a woman hoping for just to ease that relational tension, to reconcile and to follow her husband might be like, well, yeah, maybe, maybe he's right. And it can be very difficult to push against that. It can be very difficult to live in a world view that your husband does not occupy anymore. And so to be strong, to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might, to put on the whole armor of God, you not only have to be in the Word every day, you not only have to pray for your own strength, not just your husband's repentance, you also have to surround yourself with like minded believers who are so strong, so unwavering, who are praying for you, who are pointing you to the Word. Try to get around Christian couples with a strong Christian husband, but make sure you are plugged in, that your kids are plugged in. If he ever gets to the point of belittling your discipleship of your kids or belittling your faith, you've got to stand so strong and be gracious. Okay, God sees you, he hears you and he cares. So that's what I would say to that. What's something that you've changed your mind about? Well, I have told the story and I tell this story quite a lot when I am speaking specifically to pregnancy centers and I'm talking about the moment that we're in with abortion. But there was, there was a comment that was left on one of my Facebook posts. Maybe 2017, maybe even 2016. So I was giving my conservative political commentary online. I didn't have a podcast yet, so I was really just starting out and I've always considered myself pro life. I just have known reflexively and because I was raised in a Christian household, that abortion is wrong, that it's killing a human being and that that is wrong. But I also knew that, you know, there were these rare exceptions that I thought needed to happen sometimes. And I posted something to that effect on Facebook. I, I guess maybe I just adopted the, the general Republican position that yes, abortion is wrong, should be illegal, but there's rape, there's incest, there's fetal anomalies. And I thought that was a sophisticated, nuanced, but fully pro life position. So in the comments of that Facebook post, I said something like that. I don't even remember someone commented, what's the difference in a baby that's conceived in rape and a baby not conceived in rape? And that comment stopped me in my tracks. And I don't remember if I changed my mind in that moment. That was a couple years or maybe a year or so before I got pregnant for the first time. And I think that really had a big effect on how I started thinking about abortion. But I realized either in that moment or just over time that I was thinking about abortion even as someone who called myself staunchly pro life as an abstract issue, as a political issue, and not from the perspective of the baby and not really as murder. I was just thinking about it as, yeah, like a procedure that of course is wrong, but I wasn't thinking about it in the realistic, stark terms. And that is that it murders a child and that humanity of that person that's being killed does not change based on the circumstances surrounding its conception. And so once I started thinking about abortion from the perspective of the baby and I started asking the question every time someone brought up this exception, this tragic story, this outlier asking, but what about the baby? But what about the baby? And why should the circumstances surrounding someone's conception justify their killing? And why should the possibility of having a hard life and a difficult future justify killing a person? And why should a diagnosis of special needs or some life limiting anomaly justify killing a person? And then I started thinking, well, if we used all of those things as justifications for killing someone outside of the womb, say two weeks old or two years old, that they have special needs, that they might be poor, that they have a hard life, that their parents don't want them, that they're smaller than someone else, that they're younger than someone else, that they're in a different location than someone else, that they're not as developed or smart as someone else, well, none of those seem like really good reasons to kill someone outside of the womb. You see a two year old that was conceived in rape or is a product of incest, do you say that person should die? Well, no, that would be murder. The person would go to jail for doing that. And yet, simply because someone is younger and smaller, in a different location inside the womb, we use those reasons to say, yeah, that's fine, to abort them. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any logical sense, certainly doesn't make any biblical sense. So when people say that arguing on social media is useless, that it doesn't change any minds, that you should never do that, that could be mostly true, but it's not always true. And I don't know who that commenter was, but I'm thankful for them. And you just never know how God is going to use your insistence upon speaking the truth in love. And that person has no idea that they changed my mind. And you may have no idea that you changed someone else's mind. Maybe you talked to someone five years ago in Instagram messages and you told them the truth about the gospel, about abortion, or about something else, about immigration, whatever it is, and they couldn't find those messages. They forgot about them. They never said anything to you. But God used what you said to plant a seed or to push the ball down the field just a little bit farther. And now their mind is totally changed. We will not know how our words, how our actions, how our obedience in what we say has affected. We will not know how it has affected different people, all the people that our words have affected, until we get to glory. Then we will see this amazing tapestry. I think of how all of our testimonies are so intertwined and how this one thing that we said that we didn't even think about, or one thing we did that we don't even remember anymore, how God used that to push someone further to Him. That's what he does. He doesn't need us, but he chooses to use us, our prayers, our obedience, our evangelism, to redeem people. And that's just amazing. So I would say that you can, through God, change people's mind. And once you realize that the result is up to him. It takes a lot of pressure off of you to be perfect or have the perfect argument, or have the perfect answer. Read Tactics by Greg Koukl. That's a really good practical guide to changing people's mind. You are one tiny part of someone's testimony, one tiny part of someone's story, one small part of their trajectory, their path to changing their mind. One small part. You play one role in that. You do not have to win every argument. You just have to push the ball further down the field by being faithful and truthful, foreign sponsor for the day. And that is Patriot Mobile. It's America's Christian conservative wireless provider. You don't have to compromise on your service. When you switch to Patriot Mobile you still have access to the three major networks but you get good service without funding. The left you now are part of, you're part of a company, part of a provider that is supporting the values that you have. The Second Amendment, the First Amendment, the sanctity of life or veterans are our first responders. Their customer service is top notch. It's 100% U.S. based customer service team. They make switching really, really easy. All you have to do is go to patriotmobile.com Alli when you do, you can use code Ali for a free month of service. Go ahead, make the switch today you will see the difference in patriot mobile. That's patriotmobile.com ally code ally next question. Different, different speed. Should Christians try online dating? I think they can. I think that there is a way to do it that is honoring to God. I would not say it's completely off the table. I think there are probably some apps and some websites. Do people even use websites for like online data anymore? I have no idea. Maybe everyone just uses Hinge or Bumble, I don't know. But there are probably some tools that are better than others. I definitely know that Bumble and Tinder are run by progressive people and I think it's tough out there to have your to swipe against someone because you don't like their picture. I'm not saying that's wrong necessarily or superficial. I think you should absolutely be physically attracted to the person that you are with. However, you find different people attractive when you meet them in person versus just seeing their picture. Because the confidence or the personality or the humor that a guy has for a girl can be extremely attractive and can take them from like a 3 to a 7 real fast. But you don't know that on your screen. So I think it's tough. I don't think it's always wrong. I know people who are married because they met on a dating app. So obviously God can use it. You have to check your own heart, making sure that you're not becoming, you know, really superficial. Make sure that you are representing yourself completely accurately both in the pictures that you're posting and modestly by the way, if you're a Christian. But um, but also like in the information you're given. I've seen so many people and I know this anecdotally of a friend's brother who did this and I've now seen this talked about A lot online that guys, because women, young women tend to lean left, especially nowadays that they are saying that they are moderate on dating apps even though they're conservative just to like try to talk to the girl. Oh, I. There's so much sadness. There are so many layers of sadness within that reality. The reality is, I think that the guy could probably change the girl eventually. But you don't want to start off on that foot, man. You don't. Like I said, marriage is already work. Just because you're two sinners and life can be hard and you go through so many different changes and seasons, you want the same foundation. And if you're a Christian guy, you don't want to date a liberal girl. You don't, because that means she doesn't have the same theological views as you. Okay? Don't put something that's not true. And plus it's lying, lying and lying to sin. And you're starting your relationship based on sin. You don't want any of that. So anyway, I won't say it's always categorically wrong. I will just say that Christians dating online should look and sound and act different than Christians who are not or people who are not Christians online dating. And also remember, just because you meet someone via an app does not mean that they don't matter, that you can ghost them. Christians should never be ghosting people, ever. Unless it's like you're fleeing some kind of stalker, abusive situation. And that's the safest thing you can do. Just because you lose interest or you decide you're not attracted to someone, you don't ghost them. That's not treating someone like an image bearer of God. That's not treating someone with respect and dignity. And people that you meet on dating apps are just as valuable as people that you meet in person, people that you meet in church. And you need to treat them like that. That takes more time and more investment and maybe you get fewer swipes that way. But I think that's what Christians are called to. It seems like. This is the next question. There is currently a lot more infighting with conservatives and Republicans. This is concerning normal. Okay, here's what I always say. Because there's always fighting, I think there's always fighting between conservatives and Republicans. But right now we got a big fight because you got Christless conservatism and you've got actual conservatism who understand at the very least that this country, and therefore the conservatives who want to conserve the principles that this country was founded on, was established by People who believed and wrote into our founding documents that we were made by God and that we were given certain inalienable rights by Him. And because he is the creator of the universe, he has authority over the universe and his power supersedes the power of any man made government. And so the rights that that superseding authority gives us, that God gives us, cannot be taken away by a power that is less than him, by the government. It can't be taken away arbitrarily. Our rights to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of property, those are innate rights. Because we are human beings, they cannot be arbitrarily taken away by the government. And so you have to at the very least believe that in order to be a cohesive, coherent conservative. If you believe that the government is the highest power that we have, then there really is no basis for the argument that you shouldn't be able to make up rights and take away rights as they see fit. There's no basis for you believing that the Constitution should stand. That is all based again on, at the very least on the idea that there is a God. And I would argue, especially if you look at the charters of the colonies, of the original colonies, that there was an emphasis not on just this belief in a deistic God, but in Jesus Christ for salvation. And it used to be a requirement that you had to be a Bible believing, gospel believing Christian in order to be an elected official. Okay, People who say this is not a Christian country, they're just wrong. Ask Grok, like, ask Grok to write you out, like what were the requirements to serve in office in the original 13 colonies? And so it is, we have, we are a fundamentally Christian country. And if you abandon the God who created right and wrong, the God who created the truth, the God who gave us our inalienable rights, then everything is arbitrary, everything is up for debate. Because science can tell us when life begins, but it can't tell us why Ending life is wrong. Science can tell us that there is only male and female, but it cannot tell us why external reality trumps someone's inner feelings about who they really are. Science and pragmatism and secular logic can only get us so far, but it's really the Christian worldview that tells us why. And so that is where like a lot of our disagreement really comes from. You've got the pragmatists versus the Christians, you got the moderates versus the Christians. But then, you know, there are people who are presumably on the right who don't believe that women should be A part of the public sphere at all, who don't believe that women should talk about politics or culture, that they shouldn't have podcast at all. So you've got those people in addition to the, like, center left moderates that are there. There's a lot. There's a lot. So many different factions. In some ways it's good because we've got a bigger coalition than we've ever really had because of Maha and the moderates and stuff. But it also makes it tough. It makes it tough for us to agree. But here's what I'll say. Here's why the left generally agrees they have infighting too. They do. But why, at the end of the day, like, you don't really see them attacking each other quite as much as we do on the right. Because progressivism destroys. They're destroying institutions, okay? They want to destroy the Constitution, they want to destroy our institutions, they want to destroy our history. They've made that very clear time and time again. And when you're in the business of destroying something, it doesn't really matter what you believe. It doesn't really matter what tools you use, as long as you all have the same goal to tear down the building. One person can have a hammer, one person could have a bulldozer, one person can have a bat. But when you're trying to build something, everyone has to have the same materials. We have to agree, what is the foundation of this building that we are trying to build? What tools are we going to use, who is going to use what tool, and when are they going to do it? That's much more complicated. And the right is trying to build something, and we can't agree on what the foundation is. We can't agree on what the mortar is. We can't agree on what kinds of bricks we're going to use, if we're going to use bricks at all, who has what tool and when they're going to use it, and how? That's a lot more complicated. We have to be a lot more united to build than you have to be to destroy. So that is why we have so much infighting on the right. Part of it is good. It's just the nature of conservatism. But it all stems, I think, from the Christless conservatism versus those who understand what our foundation should be. What are my favorite sources for news? I read all kinds of things. I will read the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, and I'll read the Washington Post and all of that, if that's who's got the scoop? Like, I do want to read the first, like the first article that, that read it. But I have become extremely discerning in sussing out the language that is used and toxic. Empathy, I think, if I do say so myself, is a really good guide to helping you read articles and ask good questions and think, wait, what facts are they leaving out? What are they trying to get me to feel? Because that's modern day journalism. They're not trying to inform you, they're trying to get you to feel. They're trying to evoke a particular emotion so you will support a certain conclusion and a certain policy that they want you to support. And once you realize that, once you start asking yourself, what are they trying to get me to feel? What do they want me to think? And you really have to break down every single little word and every sentence and what's not there in order to deduce that. And then I, once I realize, okay, this is one side of the story and of course it affirms what a progressive would want to believe about Trump or whatever. What is it? Then I dig into it and I honestly think that X is a really good place for that. I will type in like the headline of a story or the person involved in a story that's going around and I will look at posts because a lot of creators on X spend time fact checking things and busting myths and they will include their sources. So I think X is like an everything app and it's a really good way to see what other people are saying about things and suss things out. I'm also not ashamed of using sometimes if I like really want to try to figure out things. Like if I really want to try to figure out like what's behind a narrative, you can use Grok. You really have to ask the right questions, though nothing's going to replace the human mind or critical thinking. You still have to ask the right questions because Grok and ChatGPT, they're all programmed by people with a bias. So you got to dig deep. You still got to ask questions. You got to ask for sources in everything. What do I carry in my purse? Let's see. I've got my purse. This is from Range Leather Shout out, range leather, rangeleather.com Ali I think they're getting a free ad here. I think that's 15 off. Let's see what I have. Okay, so I have my wallet here. I've got keys. I've got this, we've got this lip booster from O'Shea. I've got this lip tint from Adele Natural Cosmetics. See, I really use the sponsors that I tell you that I use. I love this lip tint. This is the perfect color. This is ladybug. See, I can't do, like, a bright red. I really need, like, a mauve. And this is a really good mauve. And it's also not super strong. Their lip tints, I would say, are on, like, the lighter pigmentation. I've got someone's business card that I met over the weekend. I have an air tag. Also. I have. Do I have two sets of keys in here? No. Sometimes I have two sets of keys in here. This is. I think Shauna Holman got me this. This is Courage, Dear Heart, which is from CS Lewis. And it's a little leather tag on my keys and a little quote on there, which is sweet. I have these sunglasses from Amazon. I have this scrunchie, which I like. And I have this little comb, this little dinky comb. This is good for nothing comb. But if I had to tease my hair, I would use that. Oh, I have a hotel key from some speaking engagement trip, I'm sure. And then I have these. These are. My assistant tells me this is what the Broadway people use. Is it greeters? Grethers. Grethers. Grethers. That sounds right. And they're like little cough drops. They're handmade in Switzerland. This is the blackcurrant flavor. And I was also given this at a speaking engagement, so that's all I got in my purse right now. Yep, that's it. This really holds a lot. And I really like taking this on all of my trips. Easy to clean, too. Let's see, what is my family devotional routine? We have a big ESV kids Bible. It's not a different translation, it's just the regular esv, but it has lots of cool depictions in it. It's a family Bible. And we read that in the mornings. We pray every night. And we do, obviously, we go to church and all of that. We try to do that every morning and every night, praying, reading our Bible, singing. Almost every morning, I am singing a version of this is the Day. This is the day that the Lord has made. And I'm sure the older they get, like, when they get into their teenage years, they won't appreciate that. But for now, they still laugh and smile. And also typically doing both. This is the day that Lord has. This does not count as a devotional, by the way. This is just a fun fact. And rise and Shine and give God the glory, glory. Did anyone else's parents sing that? I do. So, yeah. That's what our morning looks like at the STI household. Let's see. Would I rather listen to Kamala's laugh on repeat for three hours or dog sit a pit bull for one hour? Oh, my goodness. Okay. This is just happening once. Oh, I think. Okay. The pit bull, because you didn't put any restrictions on this. I would not let him inside. I would be inside, he would be outside, and I. Because if I had to listen to Kamala's laugh for three hours, that could cause, like, ptsd. That could get stuck in my head and not be able to get out of my head. So, no, I think I would babysit the pit bull. Yep. That would be at least be one hour that I would make sure that a pit bull is not eating a toddler. So I would see it as a service to the community if I were making sure that the pit bull was behaving. Let's see, what is your take on how Trump is doing so far? Okay. I do have a take on this because I know that there's a lot going on with the market. There are so many disparate thoughts about the tariffs. Okay. So many thoughts from people that I really like and respect and that I agree on a lot. I do not consider myself an expert on tariffs and global trade wars. I've had my dad on to explain it, and my dad, as you know, he was in investments for decades, and he knows a lot about it, and he always calms us down, and he reminds us that the market is not the only indicator or the primary indicator of how the economy is doing, and that Trump has talked about this for a long time and that it's all going to be okay. Okay. That's, you know, a general take. I don't. I. I don't know. I. I don't know the answer to all of the tariff questions. And let me tell you, as someone who has been, I think, very fairly critical of Trump when I need to be, when it comes to things like ivf, when it comes to things like abortion, even just things that he has said and ideas that he has represented over the years, I am kind of in the season of my Trump support of, you know, I think I just trust that he knows what he's doing. Is that. I mean, that's kind of surprising coming for me. Like, I surprised myself saying that. I don't think that's true. Of all things. Obviously, he's not infallible. He's a human being and he's surrounded by fallible human beings. But I think of the alternative and I think of the pain that we have been through with Biden's presidency, the pain that we would be going through with Kamala Harris's presidency. He has every incentive to make sure that the economy does well. And I do think that we're going to come out on the other side of this. I'm not someone who's like, oh, Trump is just doing 40 chess, trust the plan. But I just think that they know what they're doing. And in general, I'm happy now. I think Congress could do more, and I think deportations could accelerate even more. That's huge for me. But I think as far as executive orders, they've been good. I'd like to see some good laws passed, pro life laws, certainly anything immigration related. Protecting women's sports on the congressional level. I mean, Democrats have blocked that every chance they can get. But I'd like to see some congressional action. But I'm happy. I just think about the alternative, which we were so close to and was going to be so bad. And yeah, I'm just, I'm, I'm very happy that Trump won. That doesn't mean, even if you're happy that Trump won, you can still criticize him and you can still not like some policies that he's implementing. That's totally fine. But I am not yet worried. I'm not yet worried about the economy. And that's not because, oh, it won't affect me. That's not true. I will be affected just like everyone else. But I think it's gonna be okay. We'll see. We'll see. Maybe I'll eat my words on that. I'm willing to be wrong. Let's see. Tips for managing sibling conflict between toddlers. Oh, my goodness. Yes, there is conflict. And I think that the home is a really good time to teach. Is it really good place to teach conflict resolution? And that's why I think, if you can, having siblings close together is so important because it's really a training ground for friendships and all kinds of relationships that you have throughout your life. And you have that, like, backdrop of familiar. You have that connection, that familial tie and just the reality that you are stuck together and that you are going to have to share a room or share a house and you're gonna have to figure it out at some point. Now, here's something that I'm trying to get better at is not always interjecting to be the referee, that's tough for me because I don't like to hear the whining, I don't like to hear the argument. I don't like to hear that. I just want it to be solved. And so I really want to interfere and help them figure it out. But I also know that the older they get, the more capable they are figuring it out on their own. Now, here's one thing, though I can't stand and that I will not tolerate. My husband I will not tolerate is bullying. And like, just insisting on getting your way every time that can be difficult is teaching sticking up for yourself while also being gracious and being generous. But that's the balance that we strike. We don't allow bullying, but we do try to get them to resolve conflict and figure out how to take turns. But know that. Know that siblings will have conflict. My husband and I were basically only children for a period of time because he's got two sisters that are much older than him. I've got two brothers that are much older than him. So we didn't have, like, we didn't have to deal with that when we were young. So we feel like we are learning what that looks like. All of our kids are two years apart, and they get on each other's nerves. They want to play with the same things. And I'm really trying to get better at letting them figure it out. So I wish I could say I've got all the solutions, I've got all the tips and tricks for you. I'm telling you, like, what I'm trying to do and what I'm trying to learn right now. It's just like what I found in that if you allow them to get bored, they find something to do. Usually, not always, but usually if you let them try to figure out the conflict, they will figure it out. Sometimes you do have to intervene when it gets to the point of them just, like, getting so mad at each other. But my hope and prayer is that my girls, that they love each other, that they just love each other their whole lives. Because I meet siblings that are great friends and they rely on each other and their kids are still friends and their husbands are friends or spouses. And I just love that so much, and I just want that for my kids. So I want to create an environment where they are friends, where they work out their differences, where they are each other's best friends before anyone else. That's what I want. And so I'm trying the best that I can to create an Environment where they just really love and forgive each other and look out for one another. Giving them responsibility, the older ones responsibility to take care of the younger ones. They really love that. And like they, they love when they get to help with the little ones. And even my youngest one, she like wants to turn around and then like help her babies and like help other kids that she sees. She calls everyone that is her size or smaller a baby. And so yeah, just trying to also help them be helpful I think is a good way to do that. I don't a lot of people have different views on like sharing rooms, but some people would say that having your kids share rooms helps them bond and helps them resolve their conflicts better. I. There's a lot of mini therapy sessions that we have in our home with girls and that's not, not actual therapy. It's just like talking through things. There's a lot of talking through things and external processing in our home that does seem to help in the long term. Next and last sponsor for the day is my Patriot supply. I trust my Patriot supply when it comes to the safety and security of my food supply for my family. You just never know what's going to happen. Whether it's a natural disaster, supply chain issue. Hopefully none of that ever happens. But you'll be glad that you have an emergency food supply if it does. Right now they've got their best selling mega 3 month emergency food supply for the same price as a standard kit. So that's more than $360 of real beef, real chicken farm, fresh fruits and vegetables that is all good in storage for up to 25 years. We're talking 2,000-calorie a day meals that are actually good for you, that will sustain you and your family good in storage for almost 30 years. Get one kit for every member of your family. Trust me, it is better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your food supply. Go to preparewithally.com that's preparewithally.com what are my favorite recipes? We keep it super simple in our house. It's like chicken or beef and different sides, sweet potatoes, vegetables. We'll do pasta, we'll do rice. I always love like an easy like taco bowl. I mean white rice and chicken. Typically my good ranchers, fajita chicken. I'll make guacamole on my own which is really simple. Just like a lot of salt, some garlic and lime juice and avocados. Put some pico de gallo on that. You could add black beans to that recipe or pinto Beans. You could add some sauteed peppers. You put tomatoes on it. Really, like, really easy. It's so easy. All. Every single bit of that recipe is really easy. So we'll do a lot of that. But one of the most extensive recipes that I've done that I haven't done in a long time because it takes a while, but was so good. I made defined dish that's like an influencer. And she also makes some. These recipe books, but cookbooks. Her. Her chicken nuggets and fries. So good. You have to marinate the chicken. You like, cube them up. You marinate the chicken and pickle juice overnight. And then you. In the morning, you. Or the next day, you bread them and whatever. And then you cut up your potato and fry it in beef tallow. And I did that. It was again, a while ago. It took a long time, but it was really good. Oh, my gosh. Best chicken nuggets. So good. So that's one thing I would say. Let's see. Maybe one more question. Let's see, let's see. What is my favorite thing about being a mom? Oh, my goodness. Oh, gosh. How much my kids make me laugh. How, like, loving they are. I mean, we just, like, we just all love each other so much and love spending time together. That doesn't mean that it's never hard. That doesn't mean that it's never, like, overwhelming. But we just genuinely have so much, like, affection for each other. And I just love spending time with my kids. They make me laugh. I love seeing them learn. I love seeing their personalities develop. I love hearing their new thoughts and their new words. They're just like. Like fun little people to be with. I love it. There's another question in here about breastfeeding. I am, for the first time in six years. This is my first time in six years not to be breastfeeding or pregnant. That's crazy. It's been a really. No, no, seven almost. Yeah. Because it's 2018 that I got pregnant. It so six and a half years, because that was fall. And it's kind of sad. I'm a little sad. I'm trying not to cry about it all the time, but it's also nice. And moms know what I'm talking about is like, okay, you can take a vitamin without thinking about six different layers of things. And if you're able to take it, it kind of feels freeing. But it's also like, oh, my gosh, I'm out of that stage at least. At least for right now. So yeah, different for now. It's a different stage of. Of motherhood. And everyone just gets so big so fast. I know everyone tells you that, but it's really true. It's really true. It goes by so quickly. And I've been seeing those posts lately on Instagram saying, you know, like, depicting that hypothetical fictional scenario of, like, you're an 85 year old. What if you're. Imagine that you're 85 and you wake up, or you dream that you're 35 again and you wake up without any pain in your body. You're able to think clearly, move quickly. You hear little steps coming into your room to wake you up. Your children are little again. You hear their voices. You hold them. You don't rush at all because you know how quickly it goes. You see your husband, he's young again. Y'all are all in the same house for the first time that you can remember. And you just cherish every moment. I've been thinking about that a lot recently. It's so easy to rush through those little years. But the little moments and the little years that are really hard and it's okay to just say that they're hard, that's fine. But I'm really trying to remember that because sometimes I think, oh, my gosh, where did the past six and a half years go? It's crazy. So I really try to cherish every moment as much as I can. All right, that's all I got time for today. Hope you enjoyed today's episode of our Q&As and we will be back here soon.