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The dark world of steamy romance novels is much bigger and more powerful than you think. It is very deeply affecting women psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, perhaps even politically. We are going to explore the depths of this sphere today and explain exactly why this matters so much to Christians. If you love this podcast, please make sure you are subscribed on YouTube, on Spotify, on Apple, podcasts, on Google Play. Leave us a five star review. You, wherever you listen, it helps us out a lot. All right, without further ado, here's today's episode of Relatable. Hey, guys. Welcome to Relatable. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. All right. I have been wanting to dive into this subject for a while, and that is the subject of dark romance and the hold that it has on so many women and how it is affecting young women politically, psychologically, most importantly, spiritually. We've been gathering a lot of information and data on this subject for a while, but it was this particular post on X that just stopped me in my tracks and made me go even deeper into this subject subject. Because I realized just how disturbing things are getting in the world of social media. Book reviews. There is a book that is apparently very popular. I thought that it was a joke when I first saw it on X. And I'm. Let me just tell you before I. Before we put the picture up, okay? Before we get into all of this, if you couldn't tell by the title and the subject that I just introduced, this is at the very least PG 13. Okay? Like, I would actually tell you if your teenage daughter listens to Relatable, most episodes are great to listen to with the family. This episode, I would say not. Okay? And I take no enjoyment from talking about this. And you're gonna think, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that she's saying these titles. I want you to know, though, what is going on. Because if you do have a daughter or you have a friend or you. You have someone that you know in your life who is into these kinds of books, you need to know what is going into their mind, the input that is going in that might be affecting the output. And to do that, we've got to get specific. It's not enough for me to just say, oh, yeah, this is a trend, believe me. I got to show you what's going on in the world and why women think the way that they do today, in large part. Okay? So here's the book, y'. All. It is called Morning Glory, Milking Farm, okay? And I mean, you could probably put the pieces together and kind of deduce what the euphemisms mean. If you are listening to this on the audio side, instead of watching this first, you should be watching on Spotify or YouTube. It'll help you to see the visuals here. Let me tell you what's going on. Okay, we have what looks like a cow. Okay, We've got a bull, but he also is human. He's got biceps, he's muscular. And then we've got this woman who is obviously completely in love with this animal, okay? And she's leaning against him and this says Morning Glory Milking Farm. You can see that it's sexual right away. This author is apparently a best selling author, which is disturbing in and of itself. And what also caught my eye at the top here, it says a monster bait romance. So you're telling me that this is a theme, that there are other books that fit into this theme, into this category? So as we started researching this, I wanted to know, is it real? And is this something that a bunch of people are reading? There is a reviewer on Reddit, which Reddit is just a cesspool of some of the worst opinions in the world. But a Redditor called this book one of the hottest books that they have ever read. This writer, CM Nis Costa, claimed on Instagram that she has aphantasia, a condition where someone can't form mental images or scenes in their mind and cannot actually picture the stuff that she's writing. So I'm not sure if this person is saying this as an excuse, like I had no idea that I was writing really weird freaky stuff or if I don't know, it's just a strange part of this person's character. And it's just also ironic that you are causing people to picture basically bestiality and weird dark fantasies, but you yourself aren't able to to picture them. The book is very popular on something called Booktok and we are going to talk about Booktok today and how it is advancing some of the worst ideas and promoting some of the worst resources for women. So this TikTok had a lot of views. It was a part of Booktok and I guess this is a trend on Booktok where these avid readers and romance readers try to explain the plot of some of the books that they're reading to their husbands or to another person. So just bear with me. This person is going to explain what this very popular book that women are consuming is about.7 so the book starts off with a woman and she's down on her luck, and she sees a job advertisement for a milking farm. And it's not. It's not a normal milking farm, like with cows. What it is is it's big, bulky minotaurs, and it's a special type of milking, if you know what I'm talking about. Okay, so, yikes. Apparently this is the kind of stuff that women are reading, and it has only gotten worse and worse over the past few years. You remember 50 Shades of Gray? Do you remember when that premiered? I, of course, have not read the book. I have not seen the movie, but it was a really big deal when this came out. This movie, this book was promoting something called bdsm, which is basically violent and humiliation based sexual acts. It's supposed to be consensual. And in this world in which consent is considered the only standard of morality, it was seen as subversive but cool. And women were escaping to this fantasy. And if their husbands weren't giving them everything they needed, then maybe women should be able to read 50 Shades of Gray and get the sense sexual satisfaction that they're looking for. So many different problems with this. But we see that in 2015, when 50 Shades of Gray was published, that it made so much money, that it sold so many books, that it grew so much at the box office, that this was obviously tapping into a desire that many women had and that this was actually going to lead to a boom of this genre. And as we know, the sexual revolution moves really fast. In 2015, we also saw that the Obergefell decision was made by the Supreme Court, which said that gay marriage is a human right that has to be recognized or that is recognized by the Constitution. And in just a matter of 10 years, we got Drag Queen story Hour. We have parents losing custody of their kids because they won't affirm that their child was born in the wrong body. So the sexual revolution, whether it comes to LGBTQ or whether it comes to sexual promiscuity, sex outside of marriage moves very, very quickly because that is the n nature of sin. That is the nature of chaos and disorder. It accelerates and it breeds more disorder. And so that is what has happened actually, specifically in the genre of romance that is targeting women that is so popular among the young women in America today. We'll get into more of that background in just a second. Let me go ahead and pause, tell you about our first sponsor. It's Carly Jean Los Angeles, y'. All. I love Carly Jean Los Angeles so much. I was wearing on Monday. If you saw those, the cute brown cargo pants I was wearing. That's from cjla. Love cjla. They make really high quality clothes. Everything in their basics line is all made in the U. S but everything is really good. You can get a capsule, so get you like six pieces. You can mix and match them all season or really all year. That's the beautiful thing about cjla. You can wear in any season of life, whether you're pregnant or postpartum or neither of those things you can wear any season of the year. And this stuff lasts. It transcends trends. Plus Carly, Chad, their family, they are strong Christians. They love the Lord, they love their customers, they love America. So it's just a win all around to support them. They also made the merch. They've made our relatable merch. But they're also making the merch for Share the Arrows, which is going to be so cute. Y' all sold out the merch last year. Like insane that y' all sold out every single piece of merch at Share the Arrows last year. Well, guess what? We are going to have it back, but even better and even cuter this year and we are going to make sure that there's enough. But the Share the arrows merch is only available for those who will be at Share the Arrows. Go to carlyjean los angeles.com use code ALI B for 20% off site wide. That is such a good deal. Use code ALI B@CarlyJean los angeles.com for 20% off. Okay, let's talk a little bit more about 50 Shades of Gray. This is probably the prime example that still comes into a lot of people's brains when they think of this genre of smut or erotic literature. Now what it appears. So I am told what appears on screen when it comes to 50 shades of gray is actually a lot more PG or PG 13 than what you read in the books. And that is a very important thing to remember about these books is that there aren't the same regulations and need for ratings and screening when it comes to books. There are certain parameters that typically have to be followed to be on a streaming service, to be on television, even to be in a movie. Now, of course, the boundaries have gotten looser and looser over time, but that is not the case for books. And I think a lot of people think if something is written down that it's not going to be as bad, it's not going to be as, as explicit if I'm not seeing a picture. But the mental picture that is Being put in people's minds by this literature is, I would argue, just as powerful, just as brain chemistry altering as watching pornography or watching an erotic movie. So let me tell you some examples of this kind of smut genre that people, according to booktok and according to just the numbers that we see are really into right now. And you'll see just how dark this is. Okay, that this is not just about pornography. This is not just about emotional romantic fantasy. But this is about, in many cases, the dark and demonic. So we have this series called the Lord series. It's by Chantelle Tessier. Characters mix love with revenge, hurting each other emotionally or through power plays in a secret society before reaching twisted resolutions. Intense relationships feature one partner dominating the other with jealous and control, creating a tense, dark atmosphere. What's interesting is that this is a common theme. Male domination of women. Men overtaking women in a lot of these romantic novels. Irony is, is that a lot of the women who just eat this stuff up consider themselves strong, powerful, independent feminists. And yet in their fantasy lives and the literary porn that they're reading, they are looking for this kind of humiliation and domination. It's very sick. Just to juxtaposition when you think about it. There's also a series called the Highest Bidder series. The core premise involves men buying partners in an auction like setup. Okay, so this is like a slave auction fantasy happening. It emphasizes extreme control in ownership dynamics. The men exert intense possessive dominance over their partners, creating relationships steeped in restriction, intention. You know, I'm starting to think here if when the feminists are talking about the Handmaid's Tale, that they're actually fantasizing about it and not warning against it. They seem to have this obsession with being dominated by men and they act like that's what they don't want. But the literature that they consume tells me otherwise. We've also got Chicago Ruthless series. It's set in a crime family. The stories feature violence, possessiveness and what one reviewer called an unrealistic amount of sex. So I'm telling you, this is just a sexual justice sexual graphic, explicit as any man who is addicted to watching pornography. There is Den of Vipers. It's a dark romance reverse harem about villains who get the girl. There are a lot of. I'm not trying to laugh. It's just so ridiculous that someone would be like, yes, I'm gonna put pen to paper and this is going to be how I spend my time and energy and creativity and skill that God gave me. There are a lot of triggers in this book. One reviewer says violence, dark kinks, sexually explicit scenes are throughout this entire book. So if that's not your thing, I would steer clear. The Loser series. It is about a polyamorous dynamic with intense bdsm. Most unrealistic thing here is that according to the COVID these are supposed to be attractive people involved in polyamory. And we know from seeing what polyamorous, you know, polycules look like on social media that that is like never the case. Very strange fantasy going on here. Chokehold by Lee Rivers. This is another like very popular book. Gosh, it just looks so dark. A true hate to love story between stepbrothers who live together. No, no, no, no. I can't even finish the description of that because we've gone from gruesome to gay and it's just too much. Okay, I think that we could probably skip over some of the other examples. You understand, there's violence, there's domination, there's possessiveness, there's bdsm. There's all of these things that can get into your mind, whether you're reading about it, whether you are watching it. And it changes how you think, it changes what you desire. It changes what satisfies, satisfies you in a way that can lead you toward the path of the demonic. Not only that, but also towards depression. Because real life, thankfully is not like these fantasy books. And I just want to note that, and we'll get into this a little bit more in a second. But whether or not a woman is reading these dark, demonic, violent books, still escaping to this fantasy fictional world. Measuring your relationships or your sexual activity against what you are reading in books is always going to lead to discontentment. It is always going to hamper your sanctification. It is always going to inhibit the God ordained intimacy that you have with your marriage. Multiply that times a thousand. When you're talking about the smut that so many young women are reading today, I guarantee you there's big crossover between kink talk and booktok. A few years ago we talked about this horrific trend where you've got the young young women, we're talking teenage girls who are describing on TikTok liking to be chokes and sexual violence and things like that. I'm not saying that all of them are reading these kinds of novels, but I am saying this is a culture of self objectification and degradation that directly flows out of a refusal to believe that we are all made in the image of God. It is all connected. And Satan is having a playday There is another genre within this, and this goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning, that monster bait story, which seemed like a joke and wasn't a joke. There's monster smut. Okay, so there's smut. There's violent smut, there's monster violence smut. It's crazy. One of the examples of this is Strange Love by Anne Aguirre. A human pairs with an awkward non humanoid alien, creating a forbidden dynamic due to their physical and cultural differences. Apparently, according to one reviewer, this is a sexy book. And then, like, they're not even trying with some of these titles. It's amazing to me that someone would look at this cover and be like, yes, I want to read this. That time I got drunk and saved a demon. Okay. There is a woman named Cinnamon who gets dragged into a demon's violent quest to kill a witch, with their attraction growing amid danger in conflict. Okay, this also goes back to what we talked about with K Pop Demon Hunter. The confusion of evil versus good and normalizing demons, making them seem layered and nuanced and maybe inside, you know, able to be redeemed or lovable or loving. When we know that is not the truth of real demons, we see a lot of that in these themes of making us. Us think that maybe demons would actually like us if they really got to know us. And, you know, I'm thinking. I'm wondering if that is why so many women are completely delusional about crime and criminals and just completely naive when it comes to the reality of good and evil and bad guys and criminals that really exist and the need to restrain evil. Is that why they vote for these social justice soft on crime policies? Because they're reading books that make it seem like the bad guy deep down inside is good and sacrificial and will finally fall in love with them? I don't know. Something to think about. It's definitely not helping. We've got a book called Soul Eater. A horned soul eater fixates on one human soldier in this male male romance. Blair, another one. You're not My King. A human man develops an attraction to a lizard like alien king. And the alien king's possessive claim over the human involves restrictive, dominating behavior. Okay, so again, we see domination, we see lgbtq, we see bestiality glorified. We see monstrosity glorified, we see violence glorified. Okay, then we just have the regular spice. Maybe you've heard of closed door romance or non spice romance. I would say that that is a category of books that as long as it's not glorifying sin is a category of book that women can read and enjoy and is not pornographic. But then you have spice. And the descriptor of spice makes it seem like it is not bad or explicit, but that's not necessarily true. So if you hear someone saying they don't like any of that crazy stuff, they just like spice. That's not better, especially for the Christian. We'll get into that in a second. Okay, y'. All, if you are looking for none of this stuff, like anti smut conference, like, if you want truth, if you want goodness, if you want beauty, if you want to be around women who care about that stuff too, then you need to come to Share the Arrows. Because maybe you're listening to this and you're like, oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm alone. Am I the only one that has the values that I do? Am I the only one that wants to consume only things that are pure and lovely and excellent? I want to. I need friends who have my same beliefs and values. You got to come to share the Arrows. You can come by yourself. I just want you to know that if you come by yourself, you will not leave by yourself. You will make friends. This is the kindest and the friendliest and the most generous audience out there. Maybe you're not a Christian yet. Maybe you don't know if you're a Christian. Maybe you want to learn more. Come to share the Arrows. Maybe you've been a Christian for 50 years. Come to share the arrows. You will be taught. You will be instructed, you will be encouraged. You will be empowered and equipped by the wisdom of God that is channeling through these women. I have talked to them about their speeches. Their talks is going to be so good. Y' all. Go to Share the arrows. Go to sharethe arrows.com this year, share the Arrows is brought to you by Good ranchers. We love Good ranchers. We're so thankful for their support. Go to sharethe arrows.com and get your tickets today. All right, before we get into the rest of that episode, let me tell you about everylife. I love Every Life. We use Every Life diapers and wipes in our home. We also love their other products. They've got a new belt bag out, perfect for moms. Really cute. An upgrade from the fanny pack, but just as functional and convenient. Carry all the things that you need. What I love about Every Life, not only that, they are America's pro life diaper company. They're supporting moms and their babies they're pregnant and adopting employees supplying pregnancy centers with the resources they need. They are just awesome. But they also have really good ingredients in everything they make. So when you're looking at their diapers or wipes, they don't have fragrances, they don't have dyes, they don't have lotions or latex or parabens or phthalates. And I'm just very grateful for that. And they really work. I would not be promoting everylife diapers. And if they did not work. And I can tell you that they're really effective as well as just being really good for your baby. So go to everylife.com use code ALI10. You'll get 10% off your first order today. That's everylife.com code ALI10. Okay, let us watch SAT3 to set up what this spice genre of fiction is. I'm getting a little bit concerned about your guys's level of spice when it comes to spicy books. Now, I'm a little sick right now, so if I sound congested, it's because I am. Mind your business. Thank you. But I asked you guys about a month ago to drop in the comments. Your filthiest, spiciest, nastiest book that you've ever read. Like the number one where it's like, whoa, that was like crazy. And some of you guys recommended as the spiciest, filthiest, nastiest book that you've ever read. Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover. Ma'. Am. Ma'. Am. Okay, so she is saying, and the rest of that, that that is not spicy enough for her. That that's basically too vanilla. Now, I haven't read that by Colleen Hoover. I don't know how spicy Colleen Hoover book books get. I understand that some of them are pretty spicy. What I would consider spicy. However, I have also heard that some of her books actually do get really dark. But this person is saying, nope, that's not what she wants. She wants stuff that is really, really crazy, really explicit, really bad. So Melissa Saavedra, she is the owner of Steamy Lit Bookstore in Deerfield Beach. She became a fan of the genre when she read the 50 Shades of Gray. So she created this company called the Steam Box. It became a huge hit. And then she opened that bookstore and she said that her shelves never staple because she's always got women who are coming in who are trying to buy these very steamy books. Spice is a reader coin term. It refers to the degree of sexual explicitness in romance novels, often rated on a scale of 1 to 1 to 5. So here is someone kind of explaining that. Saw one, he grabbed me by my waist, pulled me in close and gave me a big kiss. And then we lived happily ever after, me and my. And grabbed my. I'm your daddy. All right, so that is a court of thorns and roses. And I know that there are a lot of women out there. I've actually heard of this series. I know there are a lot of women, including a lot of professing Christian women who are reading that series. I've also heard of this book, Onyx Storm. High Spice. Explicit scenes and chapters, several chapters throughout, featuring dirty talk, kissing and sex and romanticy context. Here's thought to no, because this man is like everything. He goes, me holding back from you has purely been for your sake, not mine. I want you. From the second I wake up until the moment I fall asleep, I dream about you. Okay, just take my heart, why don't you? I swear this man is going to be the end of me. He goes, I'm never giving you up. You know that, right? You had your chance to run. You should have run by. Okay, so you might be thinking, especially if you're just listening to this, well, that wasn't that explicit. So you kind of have to watch it because she is reading the words that are being said by a man, like in a very explicit sex scene in this book. Onyx Storm. So again, if you see your friends, if you see fellow church members, if you see, if you're a relatable out there, you see your wife, I don't. I doubt that this is the case. But reading this book or your sister, your daughter reading this book, then you just need to know it's not like Hunger Games, okay? It's not even like Twilight. Like Twilight would probably be considered now to be low spice. Although I should not have been reading that when I was a teenager because even that even the implication of the stuff in Twilight was not healthy for a teenage girl to be reading. But this is even worse. And I know that there are teenage girls that are reading things like A Court of Thorns and Onyx Storm. And also I just want to point out though in the quotes there that she is reading like there is this kind of like dominance that women are fantasizing about. Even these very progressive women. Now the Colleen Hoover novels, like, it ends with us very popular. It's been turned into a movie. We've talked about it before. People say that that's moderate spice. But look, I'm just gonna say Colleen Hoover books are very unhealthy they should not be read or promoted by Christians, okay? They are not promoting healthy relationship dynamics. They are certainly promoting sexual immorality. And if you are a Christian woman, you are obligated to consume things that are excellent and praiseworthy. And just on a practical level, it's going to hurt your marriage. Now, when I talked about this last time, I talked about this a little bit in the episode that we did on divorce and what the Bible has to say about divorce. And I asked the simple question. Women who are in this situation, like the woman that we talked about was, they're saying, oh, my husband is great. He's everything that I've ever wanted, but I'm not satisfied. Maybe there's something better out there. If you are a woman who's thinking that you need to ask yourself before you do anything, what are you listening to? Who are you listening to? Who are you following? What are you looking at on Instagram and what are you reading? Because if you find yourself, if you escaping to a fantasy land and comparing your husband to these fictional relationships or these fictional sex scenes, you will continually be disappointed. And I got all of these comments from people saying, oh, this is so sad. This is so prudish. No, this helps my marriage. Sure it does. Sure it does, Jan. I'm sure it doesn't. It is holding your husband to completely unfair and fictional expectations in the same way that pornography does for men and affects their relationships. This is no less simple. Reading pornography is no less simple than watching pornography. Okay? And, you know, I think that we should be making a big deal about male addiction to pornography and the degradation of society that it causes, but this is no less a big deal. Okay? So we've got this. We've got this darker theme that we've talked about and we've got Book talk who is promoting all of this. This particular dark romance scene is this clip about. It is light hearted. It's not spicy. But you can see that how he is demonstrating the scene is glorifying violence. Stop. 4. Don't actually joke me. I don't see. That's not even funny. So they're trying to make it light hearted. But she said at the end there, because, okay, so he chokes her if you're just listening to this and like lifts her up by her neck because as the text says, he is trying to act out this dark romance scene that she is reading about. And she says at the end, don't actually do it to me. I'm seeing stars. I just think that that is so disturbing. Like chief Related Bro, a few years ago I wanted to play that game where people are like slapping each other with tortillas because I thought it would be funny. And he would not even play. He would not even do that. He was like, I'm not going to even pretend to hit you with a tortilla. And so I think it's weird that a guy would be okay with even pretending to do something like this on camera, which clearly hurt his girlfriend or his wife. Okay, here's another example of what these women are consuming. SOP5 why settle when you would have your step uncle and your step cousins? Why settle when he searches everywhere for you after you were given to him as a gift but you decided to toss yourself over a waterfall instead? Why settle when you cut him and he makes you lick the cut? Why settle when you get put up on an auction block against your will and you get Bough a demon and both of his friends? Why settle when you come downstairs in the middle of the night and find him deleting your whole family off of the earth? Okay, so this is the kind of stuff and that women are consuming. And the New York Times is diving into this. Also. We looked at Writer's Digest and some other news outlets just to see like what are the numbers on this? So these kind of romance novels are the top selling fiction genre, with sales soaring from 18 million print copies in 2020 to over 39 million in 2023. Romance novels have been the top grossing fiction genre in recent years, generating $1.44 billion in revenue from 2022 to 2023. Women make up the majority of of readers driving this romance, of course, making up 84% of the audience. That's actually very surprising to me. I would have thought it was 99%. Like what dudes are consuming this stuff? So what women are doing, according to these articles, is that they are getting away from the kind of happily ever after genre and ending to books, and they're purposely seeking out more disturbing and darker and even demonic and violent elements. Circana this consumer behavior analysis report revealed in a June 2025 report that romance readers are craving darker themes. The shift in romance aligns with growing genres like psychological thrillers, dark fantasy and horror, showing a broader trend toward darker fiction. That book Onyx Storm that we watched that TikTok about sold faster in its first week than any other adult book in 20 years. There are intense themes of violence, death and dark magic. This is Brianna or Brenna Connor, US Books Industry Analyst. She says, this year I'm watching a shift away from rosier romance subjects like romantic comedy and new adult romance in favor of authors and titles with darker themes. Combined with the growth in other more intense fiction subjects like horror and dystopian, a new trend has emerged that's marked by darker escapist themes. These subject matters provide an outlet for readers to safely explore. Safely explore negative emotions such as sadness, anger or anxiety. We're exploring too many emotions. We don't need to explore emotions. There are so many programs now for, you know, down to pre K all the way up to explore our emotions. Look, emotions are bad. I'm not saying they should always be stuffed down, but sometimes they should. Like sometimes we don't need to explore them. Sometimes we're just like a basket of confusion in there. And the more you explore your feelings, actually the sadder you are. We're told over and over again that if you explore your feelings, you'll be a healthier person. Y'. All, some of the people I know that focus the most on their feelings and desires, emotions are like really sad and really discontent because the further you dig into the your heart, the more disturbed you'll be, not the opposite. Okay, and so all of this just psychological, just whatever, just slop. I expect to see continued interest in these darker subjects. Okay, so this is happening in particular among Gen Z. And you see this driven a lot by book talk. And this is creating a huge industry boom with lots of lots of money behind it. Let's talk about the psychological aspects of this though. Let's talk about dopamine. Let's talk about loneliness, the impacts on relationship and mental health. But first, let me pause. Let me tell you about our next sponsor that's Good Ranchers. Y' all know we love Good Ranchers. I've been talking about Good Ranchers. Let's see. Gosh, it's been over four years now that I've been talking about them and they have changed our lives for the better. Like it's made our life so much more convenient that we get all American meat shipped to our front door on dry ice every month that we don't have to go to the grocery store and wonder where our food comes from. Wonder what the quality is. Is it going to taste good? I mean, Good Ranchers never misses. I actually have a custom Good Ranchers box on good ranchers.com ally. You'll see the non pre marinated chicken breasts. You'll see the ground beef. I think there's filets in there. There's also the chicken nuggets in there. That's a favorite for moms because it's just so easy. You stick them in the air fryer and there's no seed oils, no bad ingredients, unlike every other brand of chicken nuggets out there. Plus again, family owned Christian company, they love the Lord, they love America, they support all American farms and ranches. Y'. All. It is just a win all around. If you have not subscribe to Good Ranchers, what are you doing? Save time, save energy, go ahead and do it. Plus when you subscribe for the lifetime of your subscription, they will give you an extra bag of meat, whatever you want. Plus when you use my code, you get 40 off Good Ranchers.com ally code ally Good Ranchers.com ally Code ally so I'm really interested in the psychology behind this and what is so addicting in particular about these books. You would think in an age where we're reading less than we were before, that people really have a hard time paying attention for more than 20 seconds. You have to put all kinds of movement into the clips that you post, the reels that you post, because people just can't pay attention for very long. So what is it about these books that are drawing women in in an age of technology? According to Psychology Today, romantic stories trigger a cascade of neur chemicals and hormones that make our brains very happy. The combination of oxytocin, norepinephrine and dopamine is an emotional roller coaster with more highs than lows. What's interesting about oxytocin, I mean, there are a lot of reasons that our bodies create oxytocin, both men and women. But oxytocin is the hormone that kickstarts labor. It is also the hormone that is released when you and your baby are cuddling after your firstborn. And I've talked about this a lot, and I know that this is maybe an indirect corollary here. But as women are getting married later and later, as they are valuing marriage and children later and later, as they are not getting these happy hormones and these connective relational hormones that are released between husband and wife, between baby and mother, they are seeking them elsewhere. They are seeking them from superficial sources like these dark fantasy books. Nikki Logan, president of Romance Writers of Australia, wrote the book the chemistry of reading arousing your reader, which explains how brain chemistry drives reader engagement. She says that romance writers. She tells romance writers to leverage hormonal effects like dopamine and oxytocin by building tension and emotional bonds in stories. She provides a practical toolkit for authors to trigger those responses, creating addictive reads that keep readers hooked and eager for more. So it's important to know that, that when you are buying your books, that you are buying chemistry, that you are buying something that is going to affect you and change you physiologically. Like, you're not just reading a book because it's a good story. This is something that is changing you on a physical level. I mean, that should really make you think about what you're consuming. Dr. Anna Lemke is a psychiatrist at Stanford. She is the chief of the Stanford addiction medicine dual diagnosis clinic. She treats patients with various addictions and researches behavioral dependencies. She wrote this book, Dopamine nation Finding balance in the age of indulgence. It was published in 2021. Chief relay to bro just read this and I remember we were talking about this aspect of this book that we found really interesting. And it is about her addiction to romance novels. So this author says that she was addicted for two years to these kinds of books, starting with twilight and progressing to erotic fiction, which she compulsively read on her kindle, even in between seeing patients. Here's Saeed started reading, you know, more and more sort of graphic, erotic, sexualized versions of this novel. And I would. I was embarrassed, so I would hide that I was reading them. And that gets into the whole double life of addiction where now we're lying about our use, we're using our drug over here, but pretending like we're not. So my kids or my husband would walk in the room and I would be, you know, hiding behind another book, one book behind another book. So it looked like I was reading something, you know, I don't know, more sophisticated. So this is someone. She was a grown woman and she was probably not influenced by TikTok. She's an expert on addiction and she realized that she was addicted to smut. And she explains that dopamine produces pleasure and motivation. But quote, it may be even more important for motivation than for actual pleasure, driving us to seek more even as the high fades in to pain. She compares her addiction to reading this kind of stuff, to a form of masturbation triggered by a patient's extreme sex addiction story that mirrored her own compulsive kindle you. She said that her own habits exhausted her, made her hide from her family, as you just heard, and it interfered with her life, with her roles as parent and doctor, turning a pleasurable escape into a dopamine fueled compulsion. To overcome her addiction, she literally had to quit cold turkey for a month. She Just said no, she stopped it. She describes this as socially sanctioned pornography for women because it reinforces attachment instead sex themes that really hooks the brain's reward system. Okay, so again, this is basically pornography for women. And she's not even coming at this from a Christian perspective. She's coming at it from an expert psychological and personal perspective. Now, I do not think it's a coincidence that Gen Z women, as well as millennial Gen X and baby boomer women, specifically white women, really struggle with mental health. The highest rates of SSRI prescription are found in this demographic. But let's look at Gen Z, because a lot of book talk is is filled with Gen Z. Gen Z women experienced the highest stress levels globally, with almost half reporting severe stress. They struggled to cope with CDC data. And 2023 showed that 53% of Gen Z high school girls feel persistently sad or hopeless, with 27% considering suicide, nearly double the rate of boys. Among Gen z workers aged 18 to 22, 73% report feeling lonely sometimes are always an increase from 69% the previous year. We also know that heavy social media use is strongly linked to loneliness, with 71% of users feeling lonely, compared to 50, 51% of light users. Now, what do we know about social media? Social media also triggers your brain's reward system. It rewards your brain with very cheap dopamine. You don't have to put effort into getting that high, but you need more and more of it. You need crazier and crazier and faster and faster content in order to stay hooked. The same is true of pornography that is being watched, and the same is true of pornography that is being read. And so that is why we see the rates of depression so high among those who use social media. And that is why people who are addicted to this kind of smut tend to also be very unhappy and very discontent. Coping methods such as porn can have addictive effects and also affect relationships. This particular study showed. Of course, we already knew that, but There was a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships that showed that adults who feel lack of affection and watch more pornography tend to be less satisfied and feel less close in their relationships. They feel lonelier and they feel more depressed. There are so many reasons for that which we have already articulated so far. So what does the Bible have to say about this? Like, why should we be confronting this? Why should we be so careful about what we read? Because if you are like, maybe I was in high school and you thought, well, if I'm reading it, which I was never reading this level of stuff, but again, just smut like, like Twilight and you know, other things like that cheap teen fiction at the time, which wasn't nearly as dark as it is today, but still, I mean, pretty dark and too sexual for a teenage girl to be reading alone at night. It's just not healthy. But if you're like I was at the time and you think, well, if I'm reading something, at least I'm not scrolling or at least I'm not watching tv. And so it must be right because it's giving me some benefit to my mind. Well, look, even if reading makes you smart, sin makes you stupid, okay? And so increasing your dopamine addiction to this kind of smut is not actually helping you. It's not increasing your creativity the way reading other kinds of books are. It is actually hurting you. It's hurting your relationships, it's hurting your brain, and it's hurting your heart and soul. But thankfully, there is a better way. You don't have to give up your love for reading and your love for creativity and good writing because God created these things. He actually ordained his word to be written down and to be read. So we know that words are really important. So let's get into what the Bible has to say about it. Let me pause tell you about our next sponsor. It's Jace Medical. 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Katherine Butler wrote an article for the Gospel Coalition and I know we've had, you know, mixed experiences with the Gospel Coalition, but this is a really great article about the release of that book Onyx Storm that came out in January and sold so many copies. Really dark, really sexual themes and she writes this, she says says around midnight on January 21, 2025, bookstores across the United States experienced crowds they'd not seen since the days of Harry Potter. The fervor was so intense that some shops charged admission. Unlike the Hogwarts mania of the 90s, however, most attendees were women, their costumes often included leather bodysuits, and the book in question featured not only dragons in a magical realm but also explicit sex scenes. She comments on this trend, she says. Katherine Butler says influencers often praise the female empowerment they encounter in these books. Romantasy allows women to have it all, instagrammer Christina Clark Brown told the Guardian. Its editorial staff elaborated the Romantasy heroine speaks to the cultural moment. The strong female led stories show young women can be nerdy and sexy, vulnerable and powerful. Both not that girl and that girl. You can be anyone or anything you please. This is the fantasy. Such remarks hint at women's yearning for meaning and identity. We crave control over our fate. We desire love to be lovable and yet to be like God. Genesis 3, 4, 5 if you've been watching this show for any amount of time, you know that everything goes back to that, that it's an undercurrent of wayward longing, also evident in the link between romantasy and the pandemic, she says. Post Covid women are hungrier than ever to fill that Jesus shaped hole in their heart that only festered during the loneliness of quarantine and where men usually gravitate toward online pornography. In those moments, women are more likely to pick up a romance novel or even erotica, said Mary and Jacobs, contributor to the Christian fantasy site Lore Haven. In a small 2018 survey, 94% of the 38 so very small Christian women who responded reported struggling with lust and they give in in this way by looking at or reading romantasy. What's interesting about this description of women wanting this strong heroine who is in control and they want to see themselves as that is that again, in all of these, including in Onyx Storm, there is a theme of the domination of the heroine by a man. So actually what they are saying is that there is a part of the created order that they want, but they want it to be perverted and distorted. It's like they will balk at Ephesians 5 saying wives should submit to their husband and husbands should love their wives as Christ loves themselves. They'll say that's anti feminist and that's fascist, or that's like Sharia law, whatever. Whatever, they'll say. But when it comes to these kinds of themes of violent domination of women in fantasy books, they'll glorify it, they'll love it. They'll want to pursue it themselves. Christian publishers should publish. This person in this article says last name of Jacobs, should publish Clean God Glorifying Romanticy that seeks to lead readers closer to Christ rather than to a life of sexual addiction. Like I would also say, you got to be careful about things like redeeming love. I loved redeeming love in high school. I loved it. And of course, it's not like these dark themes. It's not the same as Onyx Storm. I'm not saying that. But did it foster in me at the time contentment and satisfaction? Or did it grow in me a longing to be married, but only for, like, the sexual aspect of it when I was way too young to be thinking about that? If a book, whether it is Christian fantasy or not, is fostering in you discontentment and lust and desires that cannot be healthily satisfied, then I think it's not for you. Whether or not it is pornographic. Why you should avoid this is according to Focus on the Family, all shades of erotica. Fifty Shades doesn't shy away from the S word, or at least the idea of it. That's right. It's time to talk about submission and why it's so tantalizing in erotica and sadist sexuality, yet shirked in Western society and pulling back the shades. Dana Grache writes that erotica strategically and masterfully pulls you in by exploiting what your heart secretly longs for. And what do women secretly long for? Psychologist Julie Slattery, co author with Grush, identifies five desires that women have. One, to escape reality, two, to be cherished by a man, three, to be protected by a strong man, and four, to rescue a man. And five, to be sexually alive. And they argue. And this is so important. This is just what we were saying. All of these needs are God breathed since Eve first woman created as a helper for her man. Genesis 2:18. Yet the modern woman's I can do anything you can do but batter attitude cast these relational longings as antiquated and even offensive. Felicia Masonheimer also has written on how erotic fiction harms women. She wrote about this in Christianity Today. She and she talks about her own experience with it. This she said, there will be people in your life who will tell you that it's not that big of a deal, partially perhaps because they feel convicted by your recognition and you're trying to find freedom from it, she said. When I talk about this online, people get very angry and defensive. It's just a book, which is but that is never a measurement of what is good for us. There are several biblical responses to this, but let's go specifically to the Word of God. What does the Bible have to say about this? And we'll end on reading some verses, but let me tell you about our last sponsor for the day that is Constitution Wealth. If you want to make sure that you are stewarding your dollars well, the resources that God has given you, if you want to make sure that you are actually investing in causes that align with your values, rather than investing in areas that are completely contradictory to your biblical values, then you need to reach out to constitution. We Peter 4:10 says, each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace. So why not partner with investment advisors who share your same biblical values, who are going to make sure that all of your dollars are invested in the right way, in a God glorifying way. Reach out to Constitution Wealth. They're my friends. Tell them I recommended them to you and you can get a free consultation. Go to constitutionwealth.com ally get a free consultation. Talk to them. See if they're right for you. Constitution wealth is a registered investment advisor. You should review Constitution wealth as disclosures@constitutionwealth.com to understand their services and fees. All investing involves risk, including the risk of loss. This is a paid endorsement. Philippians 4:8 says this. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. First. Corinthians 6:18 through 20 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body. But the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Goes on to say, your body is actually a temple of the Holy Spirit. It's so important. John Piper for Desiring God says, but the temptation that ruined the whole world in Genesis 3 came through the ear from Satan's voice, and so did the temptation of Jesus. In the wilderness, the heart is the primary seat of holiness, and the ear is as good a pathway of corruption as the eye. So that means audio books are also off limits when it comes to this smut. Pastor Todd Pruitt says, lust deserves our aggressive opposition. It can take such a foothold in your heart. That's why Jesus says it would be better for you to pluck out your eye. It would be better for you to pluck out your eye than to lust after a woman. And God has given us number One, Himself as our source of satisfaction. Whether you are married or not. The truth is that, yes, sex is a beautiful gift that is to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. But if you are single, you have that desire, but you do not have a holy means by which to satisfy that desire. That is still not an excuse to run to any form of pornography or smut is an excuse to run completely and totally to Christ, because He is your full and total satisfaction. And every single one of us, single or married, is called to self denial and to self sacrifice and to take up our cross and to get rid with the power of the Holy Spirit, of the sin in our life and to follow Him. That looks different for everyone, depending on your relationship, depending on the stage that you're in. But we are all called to pursue holiness in this way. Not because God wants to rob us of things, but because he loves us, because he knows what's good for our mind. He knows what's good for our body and our relationships. And one day, in a very short time, we will no longer be tempted, we will no longer have unmet desires, but we will be fully and truly, eternally satisfied in Him. And with our eyes on Heaven, we forego all of the sin that wants to hinder us and hold us back. Remember, it goes all the way back to Satan tempting Eve. Did God really say, all right, that's all we've got time for today. Make sure that you tune in on Friday, y'. All. Amazing conversation with Raymond Ibrahim about the Islamic infiltration of Western civilization and what we need to realize. So stay tuned for that. We'll see you guys back here then.