Podcast Summary: "Autism Isn’t a Superpower — or a Death Sentence: A Story of Tough Love"

Podcast: Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey
Episode: 1282
Guest: Leland Vittert
Date: December 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features journalist Leland Vittert, who shares an intimate account of growing up with autism, the tough-love philosophy of his parents, and how adversity shaped his life and career. The conversation focuses on rejecting both "autism as superpower" and "autism as tragedy" narratives, instead emphasizing resilience, family bonding, and what true support looks like. Leland's memoir, "Born Lucky," serves as a springboard for discussing parenting, adversity, and hope for families facing similar challenges.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Diagnosis and Family Philosophy

• Secret Diagnosis: Leland was diagnosed with autism as a child, but his parents kept it private—even from him until his 20s.
  • "We're not going to let you be defined by a diagnosis." — Leland (01:26)
• Parental Approach: Leland's father, especially, refused to accommodate the world to Leland; instead, he insisted Leland adapt to the world.
  • No special therapies or accommodations; treated like any other child.
  • "He decided to try and adapt me to the world rather than the world to me. And that is the Born Lucky story." — Leland (01:29)

2. The "Lucky" Origin Story

• Birth Story: Nicknamed "Lucky" because he survived a dangerous birth. His umbilical cord was knotted and wrapped around his neck—C-section saved his life.
  • "Call him Lucky." — Doctor in Leland’s birth ward (04:33)
• Lasting Impact: Leland introduced himself as "Lucky" up through age 18, reflecting gratitude toward his particular circumstances and family.

3. School Years and Adversity

• Developmental Struggles:
  • Didn't speak until after age three.
  • "There were signs. I didn’t talk until I was well past three." — Leland (05:11)
  • At age 8, evaluated and told he had “real, real bad problems,” with a 70-point IQ test spread (genius in some areas, deep disability in others).
  • "You basically have to meet your son where he’s at. There’s not much you can do." — Evaluator to parents (07:00)
• Social Isolation and Bullying:
  • Was put with girls in PE because of relentless bullying from boys.
  • "My first memory as a kindergartner is holding my older brother’s hand as we walked home. And he was crying every day." — Leland’s sister (09:01)
  • Teachers and principals often cruel; one teacher publicly humiliated him in class.
    • "If my dog was as ugly as you, I would shave its ass and make it walk backwards." — Art teacher to Leland, 8th grade (11:24)

4. Parental Tough Love: Hands-On, Not Hands-Off

• Support Without Shielding:
  • Despite suffering at school, Leland's parents didn't remove him or intervene directly; instead, they held his hand through adversity at home nightly.
  • "My dad would sit with me for hours... holding my hand through the adversity." — Leland (14:43)
  • "If you’re put in bubble wrap, you’re told how wonderful you are all the time, you’re never gonna learn..." — Leland (15:19)
• Building Self-Esteem:
  • Self-esteem was earned, not given; nightly push-ups with rewards.
  • "Self-esteem is earned, not given." — Leland (15:16)

5. Social Coaching and Emotional Growth

• Father as Social Mentor:
  • With no peers, Leland's father became his best friend, guiding him in business/social settings and actively teaching social cues post-interaction.
  • "My dad would tap his watch... his way of saying, okay, be quiet." (17:48)
  • Role-playing conversations and how to ask others about themselves.

6. The Few Kind Teachers

• Names Remembered:
  • The few teachers who showed compassion had a profound, lasting impact.
  • "Really, I got the most emotional thinking about sort of the people who were the kindest." — Leland (18:54)
• What Makes a Good Teacher?
  • Championing the most vulnerable; combating bullying—most educators who were cruel were themselves bullies. (19:55)

7. College, Career, and Realizing Change

• College as Turning Point:
  • Realized change was necessary; began self-adjustments as peers continued to ostracize him.
  • "I needed to understand that it may not just be everybody else. I’m going to have to change." — Leland (22:25)
• Choosing Journalism:
  • Hard work pays off: outworking everyone was key to advancement in journalism.
  • "There’s some industries that just yield to hard work, and journalism is one of them." — Leland (24:51)
• Humorous Anecdote:
  • As a Greenhorn reporter in Jerusalem, sweated a geography crib sheet onto his hand during his interview, but still got the job (27:02).

8. Lessons from Dangerous Reporting

• Survival Instincts:
  • Story from the Libyan Civil War; surviving a bombing because he listened to security—connecting to his mother’s wisdom about trusting expertise. (29:57)

9. Strengths—and Limits—of the Autism Narrative

• Rejecting the "Superpower" Frame:
  • Pushes back on the popular narrative that autism is a superpower.
  • "I wish I felt that or knew that, but I kind of don’t know anything else." — Leland (31:56)
• Hard Truths for Parents:
  • If the option existed, he’d choose for his own potential children not to have autism—not out of shame, but to spare hardship.
  • "If my wife was pregnant and you gave me a piece of paper and said your child will be autistic or not, I would check no. And every other parent would, too." — Leland (33:44)
• Big Three for Kids:
  • "You can control your attitude, your work ethic, and your character." (32:47)

10. Parenting, Sibling Impact, and Family Unity

• All-in Family Effort:
  • Siblings are deeply affected by a child's challenges.
  • "It was us against the world. And that part really still sits around today." — Leland (40:36)
  • High divorce rates among parents of special-needs kids; Leland credits cohesion for family’s survival.

11. Resilience in Adulthood

• Career Upheaval & Personal Crisis:
  • Fired from Fox News, broke up, hospitalized with COVID—all in one month—but rebounded via learned resilience.
  • "You went back to school. You can do this, you can start over again and keep fighting." — Leland’s father (38:30)

12. The State of Journalism

• Media Siloes:
  • People now consume only voices they agree with; it entrenches divides.
  • "If you live in silos, you think the other silo’s evil and wrong and un-American. That doesn’t lead to good things." — Leland (43:17)
• NewsNation’s Mission:
  • Show tries to act as fair arbiter—“right and wrong, not left and right.” (43:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Therapy on TV:

  • "Therapy on national television is not exactly a bucket of fun. It’s sort of like sitting in a bathtub full of scissors." — Leland (01:28)

• On Bullying and Teacher Cruelty:

  • "If my dog was as ugly as you, I would shave its ass and make it walk backwards." — Leland quoting his art teacher (11:24)

• On Earned Self-Esteem:

  • "Self-esteem is earned, not given." — Leland (15:16)

• On the Prevailing Narrative About Autism:

  • "Being on the spectrum is a superpower...I wish I felt that or knew that, but I kind of don’t know anything else." — Leland (31:56)

• On Parental Hopes and Autism:

  • "If you gave me a piece of paper and said, your child will be autistic or not, I would check no. And every other parent would, too." — Leland (33:44)

• On Family & Book Purpose:

  • "Born Lucky isn’t a How to Cure Autism book. It’s a love story of what great parenting can do." — Leland (35:26)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Introduction & Leland’s Early Story — 00:01–05:00
• Birth Story & Nickname "Lucky" — 02:52–05:00
• Diagnosis and Family Approach — 05:11–08:19
• Adversity in School — 08:32–13:37
• Tough Love Parental Philosophy — 13:37–16:15
• Social Teaching / Father’s Method — 16:15–18:28
• Kind vs. Cruel Teachers — 18:43–22:00
• College Revelations — 22:25–24:17
• Choosing Journalism / Early Career — 24:25–27:07
• Reporting in the Middle East — 27:07–29:57
• Adversity as Strength & On "Superpowers" — 31:56–33:36
• Parenting, Family Resilience, Sibling Challenges — 38:00–40:36
• After Fox: NewsNation and Personal Recovery — 40:43–41:54
• Marriage Story — 41:57–42:09
• Reflections on Modern Journalism — 42:09–44:20
• Book Release Story — 45:00–46:44

Closing Thoughts and Takeaways

Leland Vittert’s story underlines the power of adversity and the value of hands-on, tough-love parenting in helping a child reach their full potential. Rejecting both the victimhood and superpower narratives, he offers hope and practical wisdom for families navigating autism and other childhood adversities. The episode’s tone is candid, honest, and ultimately optimistic about the influence familial love and individual resilience can have—even in the face of great challenge.

Where to Find the Book:
"Born Lucky" — Available on Amazon and local bookstores (45:00)