Podcast Summary: Renewing Your Mind – “How Do I Help the Dying and Grieving?”
Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Ligonier Ministries (Nathan W. Bingham, introducing)
Guest/Speaker: Dr. Guy Waters
Episode Overview
This episode explores how Christians can minister biblically and compassionately to those who are facing death or grieving the loss of a loved one. Dr. Guy Waters offers practical, gospel-centered advice rooted in Scripture, addressing both the needs of the dying and those left to mourn. His approach is structured, pastoral, and deeply sensitive to the emotional and spiritual challenges of these situations.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. A Biblical Posture Toward Death (00:00-01:13)
- Death cannot touch the life hidden with Christ for believers, referencing Colossians 3.
- Christians are equipped to understand and respond to death in hope due to union with Christ.
Quote:
“A person may be decaying on the outside. If they're a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, their inner self is very much alive... The ravages of disease and injury touching body and mind, cannot touch that life.”
— Dr. Waters (00:00)
2. Ministering to the Dying: The ‘Five Ps’ Framework
a) Preparation (01:13-05:11)
- Equip yourself with Scripture’s teaching on death and the gospel's hope.
- Be sensitive to the condition (physical or mental) of the dying.
- Remember Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 4:16: while the body may waste away, the inner self is renewed.
Quote:
“First thing to do to serve this person well is to prepare yourself... Prepare yourself for what you may see... Whatever you're seeing on the outside, they are secure in Christ.”
— Dr. Waters (01:13)
b) Presence (05:11-08:54)
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to say the perfect thing; often, your quiet presence is what matters.
- Offer gestures of love: holding a hand, reading Scripture, praying, singing hymns.
- Practice “listen, don’t solve”—be present without fixing.
- Even if unresponsive, read and pray as they may still hear.
Quote:
“Sometimes the best thing is to say little, even nothing at all... Remember Job's friends... Oh, that you would keep silent and it would be your wisdom.”
— Dr. Waters (06:48)
c) Prognosis (08:54-15:47)
- Respect the physician’s assessment and God’s providence; palliative care is not faithlessness.
- Christians can pray for healing, but must submit to God’s will (“if the Lord wills,” James 4:15).
- Trials—including dying—are used by God for the believer’s good and sanctification (James 1:2-4).
Quote:
"God may or may not [heal], but we submit to his will, knowing that it is good and for the good of his people."
— Dr. Waters (12:36)
- Contextual understanding of James 5:15: God is not obligated to heal every sickness now; the ultimate answer is in the resurrection.
d) Pointing Them to Christ (15:47-20:36)
- Encourage conversations about eternal things—use open questions like “What are you thinking about?”
- For unbelievers: lovingly present the gospel; for believers: comfort with truths of Christ’s finished work and victory over death.
- Share the story of Martin Luther’s daughter Magdalena as an example of gospel-centered bedside care.
Quote:
“Point them to the sovereign love of the Father. Point them to the sufficiency of Christ’s work. Point them to the preserving power of the Spirit. Remind them that Christ has gone before them...”
— Dr. Waters (19:33)
e) Prayer (20:36-21:53)
- Pray for faith, submission, comfort, a peaceful passing (“take them quickly”), and for their loved ones’ provision.
Quote:
“We pray that they would have a sure and settled faith in Jesus Christ. We pray that they would submit themselves to the will of God... We pray the Lord would take them quickly on some occasions.”
— Dr. Waters (21:15)
3. Ministering to the Grieving (21:54-24:13)
Dr. Waters gives three succinct steps:
a) Step In
- Grief can be overwhelming, especially as practical needs arise. Offer tangible help—meals, calls, transportation—proactively.
b) Serve for the Long Haul
- Grief continues after the funeral. Maintain support long-term with calls, cards, remembering anniversaries or their loved one’s favorite days.
c) Speak of the Deceased
- Express memories, encouragements, and stories of the loved one to their family; this often comforts more than it hurts.
- Testify to the impact of the person’s faith.
Quote:
“Speak to them of the deceased... In fact the opposite is the case. Bereaved delight to hear such accounts... those are precious things that the family can take with them.”
— Dr. Waters (23:17)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Our Security in Christ:
"Whatever you're seeing on the outside, they are secure in Christ. And the ravages of disease and injury touching body and mind, cannot touch that life."
(01:04) -
On Wise Presence:
“Listen, don’t solve. Be there for them... Oh, that you would keep silent and it would be your wisdom.”
(06:51) -
On God’s Purposes in Trial:
“God appoints [trials] for their good. And James tells us what that good is, that we would be made more holy and more like Jesus Christ.”
(14:48) -
On Pointing to Christ:
“Point them to the sovereign love of the Father. Point them to the sufficiency of Christ’s work... Remind them that Christ has gone before them through the grave and into heaven and that he's with them even now.”
(19:33) -
On Speaking of the Deceased:
“In fact the opposite is the case. Bereaved delight to hear such accounts and stories of their loved ones...”
(23:17)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 01:13 – Introduction to the biblical approach to death and the five ways to minister to the dying
- 05:11 – The power of presence and “listen, don’t solve”
- 08:54 – Understanding prognosis, respecting medical advice, and praying for healing
- 15:47 – Pointing the dying to Christ—a practical and gospel-centered approach
- 20:36 – The importance and content of prayer for the dying
- 21:54 – How to help the grieving: step in, serve long-term, and speak of the loved one
Tone & Language
Dr. Waters speaks with clarity, gentleness, and biblical faithfulness. He offers compassion with realism, and his words frequently tie practical advice back to Scripture and classic Christian teaching.
Conclusion
This episode underscores the unique hope Christians have at the threshold of death as well as the compassionate, practical ministry Christians can provide to the dying and grieving. Dr. Waters’ five “Ps” offer a memorable guide—Preparation, Presence, Prognosis, Pointing to Christ, and Prayer—while his three steps for ministering to the grieving encourage proactive, long-term, gospel-informed care.