Revenue Builders Podcast – Episode Summary
Episode Title: Mission Driven Leadership with Mike Hayes
Date: September 11, 2025
Hosts: John McMahon & John Kaplan
Guest: Mike Hayes (Navy SEAL Commander, Author, Senior Exec, and Philanthropist)
Episode Overview
In this compelling episode, John McMahon and John Kaplan sit down with returning guest Mike Hayes to discuss his life’s work and his new book, Mission Driven: The Path to a Life of Purpose. Known for an extraordinary career as a Navy SEAL and executive, Hayes shares deep insights into mission-driven leadership, building resilience, finding purpose, and leading with integrity in high-pressure environments. The conversation traverses personal anecdotes, leadership frameworks, and actionable lessons for sales professionals and anyone striving to live with greater intention and impact.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Mike Hayes’ 1162 Foundation and Purpose
- [03:58] Hayes honors Gold Star families, those who have lost loved ones in military service, through the 1162 Foundation, which was inspired by the start date of the Navy SEALs. "We very quietly pay off Gold Star widows' mortgages. I've been privileged so far to pay off 12...and with Mission Driven, I hope to do another 12 after that.” (Mike Hayes)
- Hayes' mission is deeply rooted in service, both through his nonprofit and through donating book proceeds.
2. Genesis and Goal of 'Mission Driven'
- [06:21] After leading VMware through its $69-94B sale to Broadcom, Hayes dedicated three months to writing the book. Mission Driven addresses frequent questions he encountered about meaning and purpose, aiming to provide practical tools for living with intention.
- The book’s impact is twofold: creating value for readers and funding the foundation.
3. The Importance of “Who” Over “What”
- [08:00] "It’s not what you want to be, but who you want to be." Hayes emphasizes guiding principles rather than titles and roles, sharing that he and his wife always asked their daughter who she wanted to be, not what.
- [08:27] “Your who is that deeper you...The values, that deeper who, transcend your whole life.” (Mike Hayes)
4. Identity, Ego, and Transition
- [10:34] Many professionals struggle when their identity is wrapped up in titles or roles. Hayes discusses his own transition from SEAL Commander to the private sector, emphasizing the importance of a consistent ‘who’.
- “It’s exactly the same. You’re trying to create an outcome, figuring out what resources and risk to throw in the mix. It’s really no different in business than in the SEALs.” (Mike Hayes, [11:24])
5. Self-Honesty and Feedback Loops
- [14:33] The need to honestly confront 'who you are' as the basis for improvement is discussed. “Are you answering who you actually are or who you wish you were?” (Mike Hayes)
- Good leaders seek honest feedback from themselves and their teams: “Whenever something goes wrong, I am either 99, 100% wrong or 1% wrong, but it’s never zero.” (Mike Hayes, [18:31])
6. Purposeful Decision-Making: The Dan Hurley Story
- [22:55] Hayes recounts advising UConn men’s basketball coach Dan Hurley when he was offered a huge contract by the Lakers, reinforcing that success is staying rooted in your core ‘who’ even when prestigious opportunities arise.
- [27:08] “You could fail at the what but still be the who you want to be.” (Host, referencing Hayes)
7. Hedonic Adaptation & The Fleeting Nature of Achievement
- [29:31] The conversation delves into the fleeting satisfaction of material or status-based achievement versus the persistent fulfillment of character and community.
- “The who in the process...doesn’t fleet. The who stays with you.” (John Kaplan)
8. Energy, Skills, and Fit
- [31:19] Hayes’ three-circle hiring model:
- What gives you energy?
- What are you good at?
- What does the business need?
- [34:32] “The circle about what gives you energy is the thing that people can’t describe. The closer we can align what gives you energy to the role, the less it’s going to feel like work.”
9. Adaptability and Meta-Skills
- [35:40] Discusses how successful SEALs and professionals alike excel by focusing on outcomes and adapting with constant change.
- “A lot of people confuse activity with outcome...That adaptability is the most important thing.” (Mike Hayes)
10. Handling Change, Embracing Failure
- [39:22] Fear of failure often stems from concern about how others perceive us, not actual risk of harm: “If you can step back and say...my friends aren’t going to think less of me if I try a super hard thing and fail, you win.” (Mike Hayes)
- Hayes details SEAL training as a constant test of overcoming the impossible to build tolerance for adversity.
11. Post-Mortems and the Power of Team Feedback
- [41:59] Both in the SEALs and sales, rigorous, honest debriefs after wins and losses (“hot wash”) are crucial for learning and improvement.
- “It’s all in how you ask the questions...Say everything you have to say, but do it in a forward-looking manner that is fixing the future.” (Mike Hayes, [45:31])
12. Foundational Traits for High Performance
- Hayes identifies four key transferrable traits:
- Agility/adaptability
- Resilience
- Intentionality with emotions
- Work ethic/drive/hunger/curiosity ([53:06])
- “Resilience is the art of getting up after you’ve been kicked down.” (Mike Hayes, [53:08])
- To build emotional intentionality, control your reactions—especially in high-stress situations, which leads to better outcomes and clearer thinking.
13. Humility, Growth, and Fun in Team Environments
- [61:30] Hayes’ story of competing with a younger SEAL in a grueling workout illustrates humility, friendly competition, and the role of camaraderie in growth: “Public shaming is actually...fun stuff, right? I just knew it down deep, but I’m going to give it one last try...and I was beaten by 12 seconds.” (Mike Hayes)
Notable Quotes & Timestamps
-
“We very quietly pay off Gold Star widows' mortgages. I've been privileged so far to pay off 12 in my life so far. With Mission Driven, I hope to do another 12 and keep on rolling.”
— Mike Hayes ([03:58]) -
“Your who is that deeper you...The values, that deeper who, transcend your whole life.”
— Mike Hayes ([08:27]) -
“Whenever something goes wrong, I am either 99, 100% wrong or 1% wrong, but it’s never zero.”
— Mike Hayes ([18:31]) -
“You could fail at the what but still be the who you want to be.”
— John McMahon ([27:08]) -
“The who in the process...doesn’t fleet. The who stays with you.”
— John Kaplan ([29:03]) -
“The closer we can align what gives you energy to the role, the less it’s going to feel like work to you.”
— Mike Hayes ([31:19]) -
“Resilience is the art of getting up after you’ve been kicked down.”
— Mike Hayes ([53:08]) -
“No one is actually selling technology. What you’re actually doing is selling trust.”
— Mike Hayes ([60:02]) -
“Public shaming is actually...fun stuff, right? I just knew it down deep, but I’m going to give it one last try...and I was beaten by 12 seconds.”
— Mike Hayes ([63:02])
Practical Takeaways
- Purpose over Position: Anchor your decisions in your core “who,” not just your “what.” Regularly ask yourself: Who am I striving to be, and is my work aligned with that?
- Feedback Culture: Build teams and personal routines that emphasize honest, immediate feedback for both successes and failures.
- Resilience and Adaptability: Treat setbacks as opportunities to grow. Embrace change as inevitable and seek skills that are transferrable across roles and industries.
- Intentional Emotional Regulation: Learn to manage your emotional responses, especially under stress, to keep your decision-making clear and constructive.
- Long Game vs. Short Game: Balance purposeful long-term vision with mastery of daily execution.
How to Support Mike Hayes and the 1162 Foundation
- Purchase Mission Driven: All author proceeds go to the 1162 Foundation to support Gold Star families.
- Donate Directly: Search “1162 Foundation Give Butter” for direct donations.
- Leave Reviews: Amazon reviews help amplify the book’s impact and reach.
Episode Flow – Key Timestamps
- 03:58 Mike Hayes on Gold Star families and the 1162 Foundation
- 06:21 Why Mission Driven was written
- 08:27 Who vs. What; identity discussion
- 13:04 Transitioning identities, from SEAL to civilian
- 18:31 Self-honesty, feedback, and leadership
- 22:55–27:08 Dan Hurley and the nature of purpose-based decisions
- 31:19 Hayes’ energy-skills-needs hiring model
- 35:40 Meta-skills and adaptability
- 39:22 Embracing failure and learning from it
- 41:59 Post-mortem / “hot wash” for continuous improvement
- 53:08 Hayes on resilience, emotion, and mindset
- 61:30 Story: Hayes’ workout race in Iraq—friendly competition as growth
- 66:48 How to buy the book and support Gold Star families
Final Thoughts
This episode is rich with hard-won wisdom from military and business contexts, urging listeners to root themselves in authentic values, pursue mission-driven work, and build teams—and lives—that are resilient, adaptable, and truly impactful.
For more info and to support Gold Star families, search for the 1162 Foundation or purchase Mission Driven by Mike Hayes.
“The acid test for a life well lived is: How many people who you’ve never met have you positively impacted?”
— Mike Hayes ([50:12])