TOTALED: Carrying Things + Lines Outside Stores

Summary

Podcast Summary: Ride with Benito Skinner & Mary Beth Barone

Episode: TOTALED: Carrying Things + Lines Outside Stores
Date: December 10, 2025
Host: Dear Media

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this “totaled” episode, best friends and comedians Benito Skinner (Benny Drama) and Mary Beth Barone take a hilariously candid dive into the small but persistent annoyances of daily life. Centering their witty banter on “carrying things” (both literal and metaphorical) and “lines outside stores,” they reflect on the exhaustion of adulthood, the absurdities of city living, and their pop culture fascinations. The episode is a mix of playful venting, personal stories, and cultural commentary, all through their signature irreverent, self-aware lens.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wicked, Pop Culture Bits & The Joy of Sharing References

Timestamps: 00:36–04:00

• Benito and Mary Beth open with a running bit about “flip it around, Wicked Witch,” referring to Michelle Yeoh’s press tour for Wicked as Madame Morrible.
• They revel in the giddiness of introducing friends and family to internet memes and new pop culture touchstones.
• Notable Quote

  “Some people wait a lifetime for that one special case, but to get to show you this... that’s what it felt like.” — Benito (03:00)

2. Holiday Spirit & Childhood Anecdotes

Timestamps: 04:04–06:00

• Despite their initial grumpy energy, Mary Beth shares embracing the holiday spirit as a distraction from the state of the world.
• A tangent leads to stories about going to school in a mall and “lies of a child,” highlighting how childhood imagination blurs into adulthood quirks.
• Discussion of proximity to Santa morphs into a riff on “friends of Dorothy.”

3. The Wizarding Language of Wicked & Theater Experiences

Timestamps: 06:20–07:52

• Barone admits to being fascinated with the idea that in Wicked, learning the magical language is all you need to cast spells.
• They debate Glinda’s willingness to learn compared to “Rosetta Stone style”—and their love for theater snacks.

4. Life on Set and Perceptions of Occupation

Timestamps: 08:02–12:21

• The duo riff on what doormen or neighbors think they do for work, with Benny recounting a Toronto stay that left the doorman believing he was a sex worker due to odd hours and glam transformations.
• The two bond over Toronto smoothie shops, odd customer service dynamics, and stories about breaking ice machines in Airbnbs.

5. Carrying Things: Personal Pain Points & Aspiration for Help

Timestamps: 26:00–30:25

• Mary Beth passionately hates carrying things, particularly due to chronic body pain (“the body keeps score”).
• She fantasizes about having a “boyfriend or stud girlfriend” to help carry her stuff.
• Notable Quote

  “I’m a delicate flower, and I don’t want to carry stuff.” — Mary Beth (27:08)

• Benito, by contrast, enjoys being the “stud girlfriend” who helps out, especially on set.

6. The Myth of the Perfect Bag

Timestamps: 30:05–32:00

• Mary Beth realizes the ideal bag is one someone else carries for you; they riff on luxury bags and shopping aspirations.
• Notable Quote

  “The perfect bag is a bag that someone else is carrying for me.” — Mary Beth (30:19)

7. Carrying Things: Mental & Emotional Loads

Timestamps: 31:12–34:04

• Carrying things extends into the metaphorical—Mary Beth discusses emotional baggage, chronic pain, and the need for new kinds of self-care.
• Notable Quote

  “There’s just a lot of narratives I’m clinging on to that I need to let go of so I can free myself.” — Mary Beth (31:24)

8. Republican Takes & Boutique Fitness Expectations

Timestamps: 18:02–20:17

• Mary Beth’s “most Republican take” is not wanting to wipe down equipment after expensive workout classes, believing staff should handle cleanliness given the price.
• Memory Lane: She enjoyed camaraderie while working at SoulCycle, but draws a distinction between paid staff and high-paying participants.

9. Lines Outside Stores: A Rant Against Manufactured Exclusivity

Timestamps: 39:18–42:55

• Benito rails against the trend of shops (like Supreme, Mejuri) purposely creating queues to foster “exclusivity,” even when the stores are half-empty.
• Mary Beth ties this to broader “optics of exclusivity” and discusses practical reasons (loss prevention) versus the frustrating customer experience.
• Notable Quote

  “If you have to fake it, it’s not exclusive. Come on now.” — Benito (41:53)

10. Fatigue—Events, Holidays, and Adulthood

Timestamps: 43:07–44:25

• Both hosts admit to holiday/event fatigue, questioning the number of “must-attend” gatherings.
• They encourage meaningful connection and venting among friends—a healthy “wreck of the week” to counter toxic positivity.
• Notable Quote

  “Sometimes you gotta just... My favorite person to... is a person who’s wrapping presents. Get that bitch in a room.” — Benito (49:43)

11. Social Etiquette Gripes: Planes, Parties, Lines

Timestamps: 46:00–47:58

• Benito sounds off on airplane deboarding etiquette—those who rush up from the back of the plane without a connection invite his wrath.
• Mary Beth recounts the kindness of women in bathroom lines, and they share quick solidarity moments with strangers.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Benny on childhood lies:

  “I just loved— I was obsessed with proximity to Santa. Like, who knew Santa?” (05:52)

• Mary Beth on body pain:

  “I have a lot of shoulder pain, chronic neck pain... I had to change how I sleep... after 34 years. It’s like, give me a fucking break.” (26:21)

• On Lines Outside Stores:

  “You sound insane right now with the bouncer. I’m trying to get a chain bracelet!” — Benito (40:07)

• On sharing emotional labor:

  “I’m carrying a load... Let’s share this load.” (49:12)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------|--------------| | Michelle Yeoh “Flip It Around” Bit | 00:36–04:00 | | Childhood Lies / School in the Mall | 05:00–06:00 | | Wicked Language / Theater Snacks | 06:20–07:52 | | Sex Worker Misunderstanding in Toronto | 08:02–12:21 | | “Most Republican Take”: Wiping Gym Equipment | 18:02–20:17 | | Carrying Things (Literal & Metaphoric) | 26:00–34:04 | | Lines Outside Stores Rant | 39:18–42:55 | | Social Etiquette (Airplane, Parties) | 46:00–47:58 | | Encouragement for Honest Venting | 49:22–50:28 |

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Tone and Style

The tone is fast-moving, openly playful, and full of inside jokes, pop culture references, and little riffs. The dialogue is candid and sometimes veers into absurdity, but always returns to a core of genuine friendship and empathy. Both hosts oscillate fluidly between sarcastic, self-deprecating humor and real vulnerability, particularly around chronic pain and emotional overwhelm.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode distills the essence of Ride: two close friends mixing irreverent social commentary, personal drama, and niche pop references, while giving listeners permission to vent their own irritations. Whether it’s the burden of self-care, the performativity of exclusivity, or just the literal and figurative weight we all carry, Benny and Mary Beth make it OK to crash, burn, and laugh about it together.

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Skip to the segments on “carrying things” (26:00) and “lines outside stores” (39:18) for the episode’s classic riffs!

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[B]

Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

Yeah, no, I just need a ride. Ride.

[A]

I just want to have fun.

[B]

Start your engine. Take it.

[A]

I'm Benito Skinner.

[B]

I'm Mary Beth Barone.

[A]

And this is Ride.

Mm. Flip it around. Wicked Witch.

Got it out of our system. Feel better?

[B]

That will not be the last time. If you think you got it out of your system. I didn't get it out of my system.

[A]

Flip it around, Wicked Witch. So that is so coming out.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Do you get it?

[B]

That's an allegory.

[A]

Like, y' all really thought I was Madam Morrible, huh?

[B]

But I'm Wicked.

[A]

Wicked Witch.

[B]

So you had the pleasure of introducing me to this, which hadn't come up on my algorithm at all.

[A]

Literally, like, to get to share this with a friend. Also. We just came in here with the worst attitude. Our producer, she, like, doesn't even know what to do right now. She's like, totally.

[B]

She left.

[A]

She left. She left. She goes, I can't. I've never seen this.

[B]

She said, just let me know when you're done.

[A]

Sometimes when it's in the afternoon, the whole day has. Has beat us up.

[B]

Oh, my God. Was like 15. You had sort of one big annoying thing.

[A]

It's like, I got Molly whopped the past hour.

[B]

I had my day started. I mean, I had 15 annoying things. We don't have to get into all of them.

[A]

Please. We can't.

[B]

We actually can't because it's just not fun to listen to. Let's just say I was at my apartment. I did a brand activation. I did a brand activation for milk, the dairy beverage. And they were generously sending a car to pick me up. And I knew the confirmation was done. I got the text and everything. Then I get a call from a New York number. I answer it, and they said that they're at the airport. They asked if my flight had landed. I was like, no, you go in.

[A]

A lot of ways. Yeah.

[B]

What, like. Like a week ago?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I came back from London, as before it landed, and I don't know who that person was picking up. My driver was.

[A]

I hope you picked up somebody.

[B]

Somebody. I'm sure. I mean, they had a job to do, but my driver was at my place, so it was just like, it just then I had to. You know what I mean?

[A]

Why am I picturing some girl at jfk and she has a bag and they go, mary Beth. And she goes, yeah.

[B]

You know what? Yeah.

[A]

M m. Flip it around.

[B]

Okay. So you introduced this to me. Everyone in my family completely mesmerized by this bit.

[A]

Well, of course it's like it. I didn't bring food to Thanksgiving. I brought Madame Morrible.

[B]

Turn.

[A]

It felt like a bitch when you said that you hadn't seen it. I thought, I've never had a moment happen like this where I'm more excited like this. Some people wait a lifet for that one special case, but to get to.

[B]

Show you this for anyone else that's like me that it hadn't come up for them. This is Michelle Yeoh on the Wicked press tour. Her character's name is Madame Morrible. And then if you flip it around, she does. Mm. With her fingers flipped around, she's like.

[A]

She'S the real Wicked Witch.

[B]

Mary Elizabeth. Flip it around.

[A]

Wicked Witch.

[B]

My sister asked for the reference, and my cousin and I individually pulled it up on our phones and started playing it at the exact same time. And it sounded like we were in Madison Square Garden.

[A]

Msg.

[B]

She was headlining MSG sold. Imagine headlining MSG with one bit. That's what it felt like.

[A]

That's so cool. And she could. At this point, I mean, it's taken the world by storm.

[B]

Let's talk about Wicked quickly and usually, obviously. And we have to point out, every time we talk about something topical, we usually don't.

[A]

Yeah, it's shocking for us, but as we said, anything can happen, including the end of the world.

[B]

Including this episode, which is a totaled episode, which I don't think we've done one this season.

[A]

No. And I'm happy to do it.

[B]

I think it's the right day.

[A]

I think it's just every now and then, you need a little holiday grunt. It's, hey, we're Scrooge The Grinch, Scrooge McDow.

[B]

But I actually. Okay. And this, I think, is me just flying past that.

[A]

Well, and then you go the gr. When you do this, like, grumpy, like, Cindy Lou bullshit. It kills me.

[B]

So this year, I'm really getting into the holiday spirit. And I think it is this sort of reaction to fascism where I go, I need a distraction. I need to pour myself into something. And this year, it's the Christmas spirit.

[A]

The mall.

[B]

The mall. So it's been. Oh, the mall. That just reminded me when I was little, my cousin, her school was under construction, and they moved all the students to the mall. She told me she got to go to school at the mall for half the year. The school is under Construction. Just imagine that's like, how is that not like the plot of American Nashi movie?

[A]

Every person in that class now works.

[B]

In Fashion Merchandising 100.

[A]

They all went to Parsons.

[B]

Well, they walked by express every day and they thought, we have to be fashion merchandisers.

[A]

I can't stress enough that I wouldn't have learned a damn thing, but I would have learned everything I needed to.

[B]

Totally. Well, it sounds like the lie of a child to be like, I'm going to school at the mall, but this really happened. God, I forgot Worcester, Massachusetts.

[A]

I forgot lie of a child. You know, I remember this lie I told at one point, and it, like, could have ruined, like, a lot of people's lives.

[B]

Say more.

[A]

As a kid, I just remember my dad would dress up as Santa and at tcby, the country's best yogurt. I was with my older sister, and we were getting froyo, and the woman was super sweet to me, and she's like, do you know her? And it's like, sorry, but like, no.

[B]

In many ways, yes.

[A]

In many ways, yes. But like, we. I don't know her, but I was like, yeah. She's like. She's friends with Santa. I could have, like, ruined my dad's life. I was like, it was so.

[B]

Because of the levels.

[A]

Yeah, the levels that were there. She was like, oh, he's just like a kid lying. But I've been thinking about it, and I'm like, that was crazy.

[B]

Yeah. But you. Yeah, you couldn't have known at the time. The complexity.

[A]

I just loved. I was obsessed with proximity to Santa. Like, who knew Santa?

[B]

Who was so a friend of Judy.

[A]

It was so.

[B]

But it's a friend of Santa and.

[A]

A friend of Dorothy. Oh, that's.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I say we're gonna do it once. How's 30 times Dorothy?

[B]

That's what it is. It's not a friend of Judy.

[A]

Friend of Dorothy.

[B]

I don't know why I said that. I mean, Judy Garf. I know why I said that. Of course I have. I'm just a girl. You're always interested, standing in front of a gay guy, asking him to host.

[A]

A podcast with her, and you're begging for it.

[B]

At this point, I have to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So my big thing with wicked, and.

[A]

If you make me beg for you, because I'll beg for you.

[B]

That's my big thing with wicked, is that I think, first of all, all you need to do is learn that language and you can do the spells. That's first of all. Second thing is glinda. Just from what I know about her from the movies is she's not sitting down and learning that language. Well, no, it might as well be a Rosetta style.

[A]

Sweet. She's popular.

[B]

She ain't cracking it.

[A]

Oh, and clock tick. Everything else I loved. Clock tick is not gonna happen. I said every time I heard it, I needed to step out for a cigarette. Just one doobie. Yeah, it's a clock tick away. But I am interested in the play. I haven't seen the play. I really want to now. I mean, obviously it's much shorter than the two films, so I assume that the language feels more like of the Lord of the Rings thing, where it's consistent or like words.

[B]

Oh, like changing words.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, obstinated.

[A]

Yeah, well. And bleep and bleep that. Promise me you'll bleep that.

[B]

I will.

[A]

Those definitely make my butthole tight. But I really had so much fun at the theater with you. I got chicken strips and say that. I don't. It was crazy because here's my thing. You. It was a matinee, but we were going at 11:45 and I was like, so we're not eating lunch because, like, I'm corn fed, Idaho. I need. I need lunch around noon. So it was crazy to me to not have a protein then. Fortunately, at AMC solved.

M.

It's hard not to just. I mean, obviously hard not to do it. We ride for that, and that's the carpool.

[B]

But, well. And in many ways.

[A]

What are some of the things in the notes app? I think I wrote one thing this week, but I'm not sure.

[B]

Well, I want to talk about my most Republican take. And then I would like for you to talk about when you were a call girl while you're filming, overcompensating. Or maybe you should go first, because I don't want to. I don't want to leave people hanging on that because I've often thought leaving my building, I want to know what my doormen think I do for work.

[A]

And I think maybe you gave me that prompt and I thought back to me at this Airbnb I was staying at in Toronto.

[B]

Laugh. By the way. It's a goose honk.

[A]

New laugh just dropped.

[B]

Yeah, sorry.

[A]

It's just Love a new laugh.

[B]

It's just what's happening right now.

[A]

Mine, like, I. It's such a witch cackle that I can't. And it's so obvious now. And because of this wretched podcast, people know when I'm really laughing, so they know when it's fake. I know it's a bummer, but I'm like, someone pitching me something I don't like.

Not the writer's room, but just in general. People keep pitching me randoms and I'm like, oh, God, stop it. So I'm in this Airbnb in Toronto. I. I just started to notice the hours I was going. So I would leave early in the morning and I would be, you know, I would kind of dress up for set. I thought it'd be cute. It was fun to, like, have a cute little outfit on when I got there and see what you guys think. Sometimes it would be like, ugg cargo shorts and, like, a tank top, though. Very like Ryan Atwood meets also Marissa.

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

So you get that you can kind of the duality there. It's very.

So I go. And it's, you know, I'm fresh face, like, no makeup, hair slicked back or whatever. And then I would come back with a bigger bag, kind of like, look a little sloppy. Spray tan, full face of makeup. Full face of makeup. And it looks like I just gave someone the best night of their life. I gave a Toronto businessman the businesswoman special.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then on the weekends, I would just go shop. So on the weekends, I would come back with all these bags. So I just was like, I think potentially this doorman that's kind of giving me a wink every time I enter. I don't think actor is at the top of his list.

[B]

No, he's what I do. Well. That guy just worked hard for his money.

[A]

Well.

[B]

And every time he ran and he randomly one time said, do you sex work is work.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That came out of nowhere when I was showing him the sweater I bought. Do you know that I became such close friends with the doorman and door woman? I would, like, on the weekends, they would be like, what'd you get? And I would pull it out of the bags and show them. It was fun. Yeah, we had a lot of fun. And next door was this smoothie place that was the strangest dynamic. And I think they also thought I was a sex worker too, which I was, like, very flattered. It was a mom and her son, and I've never seen such a. I don't know how to describe it. Like, it was almost like exactly from a movie. The way that he was pathetic to her and never did anything right.

[B]

Oh, sure, sure. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I only got a smoothie there a coup a couple times.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And it's bizarre. Yeah. And she would Like, I don't know it. She like, I think.

[B]

Well, because they had like beakers. Do you know what I mean? They were like doing mixology with the smoothies. They had like a scale back there and like many glass bottles and it's just like. Just make the smoothie.

[A]

Exactly. I think she was a nutritionist. So it's like a whole. There was like a whole science back thing. But I'm like this.

[B]

Well, it's science backed. It's double blind tested.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, those are still frozen blueberries from whatever the version of Costco is here. Like, I don't know how crazy we're going. Yeah. My life was funny, but I loved it, of course.

[B]

And I used to walk in there with you sometimes and it felt good. Well.

[A]

And I knew they said, oh, good, at least there's a sex worker community.

[B]

Totally. Where he says a friend he made on the job.

[A]

Yeah. And sometimes it would be super late at night. And I think they were worried about me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because It'd be like 4am And I'd.

[B]

Be like, where is.

[A]

They're like, God. And sometimes it was a long day on set getting spanked by Adam with a paddle or. Or what have you getting stabbed in the woods. Always naked. So I was like coming back and, you know, I was walking, walking slow.

[B]

Walk them out in these Louboutans.

[A]

And they said, damn. I know that's right.

[B]

Shout out to them.

[A]

Shout out to them, whoever they made.

[B]

Seeing you again soon.

[A]

Oh, I know. But I'm not allowed in that building.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I got sued by the guy. Well, he tried to sue me, the owner of the Airbnb, because I did break the ice machine, but I didn't know I did.

[B]

How'd you break it?

[A]

I have no idea. I guess it was leaking. I was too busy making.

[B]

I know. You didn't open that freezer once.

[A]

I didn't open that freezer once, honey. Oh, I did. I had Sophie Pavitt face ice things. Ice.

[B]

But that's it.

[A]

To put on my face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But no. Yeah, I don't think I'm allowed back there. And probably he couldn't get the Tanner out of the tub. I tried, but nothing at Canadian Tire worked.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But you know, I changed. I changed the shower. Well, sweetie, I'm ready.

[B]

No, don't talk about changing the shower.

[A]

When I change the shower head and you can't stop thinking about it.

[B]

You with a wrench. When I FaceTime Benny and he answers and he has a wrench, it's the.

[A]

First time though, in your eyes, I was like, she understands why someone would want to have sex with me.

[B]

Of course. Also, I need help with something at my apartment later, but we'll talk about it.

[A]

Okay. I hope I can come.

[B]

Not today.

[A]

We're dying to watch heated rivalry together because I want to sweat next to Mary Beth. But.

[B]

And Pinky.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

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[A]

Merchants merchant tiles. Just link your credit cards, spend at your favorite local spots, earn bill points on top of your regular card rewards, and get one step closer to that trip you wanted to take. Yep, all the way to Tahiti, baby. Oh, yeah. Personally, I'd redeem my points for Mary Beth. Yeah, I would do it.

[B]

You can buy me on Built.

It doesn't go towards me. This is my account. You purchase me. Personally, I am going to redeem my points for my New Year's trip with Benny. Drama.

[A]

Seven Built points have been ranked the most valuable point currency by the points guy.

[B]

I guess you date him.

[A]

And they just announced Built Cash, a way to unlock even more value from Built partners.

[B]

Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com that's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com Ride make sure to use our URL so they know that we sent you. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, I'm built, built, tough.

[B]

So my most republican take. And now please keep in mind that I used to work at SoulCycle. I've worked both at HQ and in the studio. Among our responsibilities were, you know, giving shoes to people in the right size, checking them in, helping them with lockers, and also wiping down the bikes after class. Obviously wiping down the bikes after class. It's like no big deal, but it. It, like, makes a huge difference, right in the cleanliness of the studio.

[A]

Well, of course. I can't imagine the bacteria in there so much.

[B]

A lot of fluids.

[A]

Leave it to two classes. I wonder what those things would be without the heat.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's also like, it's what you make it. Life's what you make it. So let's make it rock.

[A]

They were saying crazy things in my. And then they'd be like, you guys ready for your margarita after this? And I was like, kind of. No.

[B]

Well, no. Yeah.

[A]

It's 11 in this moment. Not exactly.

[B]

Yeah, But I've been to some workout class classes where it's like $50 for a class. It's not a full hour. It's like 50 minutes. And then it's my job as the patron to wipe down the machinery. So I might be Republican in this, but I think if you're paying $50 for a workout class. Yeah, I just don't want to. Like, I've just worked out.

[A]

I hope this is the one clip we use for this.

[B]

No, this. Well, we don't control what the AI accounts are clipping, by the way.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's not us. We would never add that many filters. Just one or two.

[B]

Please just include the part where that I worked at the studio and I was totally fine with my job description, including wiping the bikes down.

[A]

We flipped over. Did you watch Mahina? Did you watch Ex Mahina? How she tripped?

[B]

I don't care. I know.

[A]

Sweet man.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Loving her.

[B]

And maybe I'm fucked up for it. I just think, like, I did a better job than the riders would do. I wanted to make sure it was actually clean. And we had. There was a lot of camaraderie. We would blast the music. We would wipe down the 50 something bikes.

[A]

Spraying in your mouth.

[B]

Spray it in our mouths, and then turn the room over for the next class. So I just think that if I've just paid that much for a class, I don't want to wipe the machinery down. But that's just me. Maybe there's people doing it and they're totally happy to. Yeah, I just don't want to.

[A]

I hear that. God, I'm gonna be cute again at.

[B]

Some point in the candle.

[A]

Look at me. Look at me with this beard, y'. All.

[B]

Look at him with this beard, y'.

[A]

All. Look at me with this beard, y'.

[B]

All.

So I am hosting a swole Santa contest, which I've announced on my Instagram. It's December 13th in New York City, if you want to come. It's open to everyone to come. And I'm gonna be judging hot guys, and I'm gonna find the swolest Santa.

[A]

I will be there to everyone one day.

[B]

Are you gonna be in the contest?

[A]

God, maybe I should.

That's what I want to start with. Oh, my gosh. I want to be Santa on stilts. You know, my big thing is I want to learn how to walk in stilts. Because I just want one day. But I'm not going to tell you that I've been taking the classes and then one day I go. I go look out your apartment window, and it's me.

[B]

Me. Oh, my God. Wait, you. You in the middle of the courtyard on stilts.

[A]

I want to be on stilts.

[B]

I keep checking your location and you're somewhere random in, like, Staten Island.

[A]

No, I know. And you're like, what is he doing? And you're like, it's either trapeze or something like it. Oh, my God. I tried to get a group of people to do trapeze with me in the summer. Do you remember?

[B]

No. When was this?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Before my time.

[A]

Just know that if I text you something like that, the clinical depression has returned. I'm looking for any way out.

[B]

It's sort of like when you texted me after we'd shot the ride cover and said we have to reshoot the COVID 12 huskies. Okay, babe.

[A]

Sorry, you're friends with an auteur.

[B]

Oh, speaking of which.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I reached out to the baroni who made the Come on. Kerplunk in, like, that gothic stained glass. We're cooking up a little something. Oh, we're cooking up something.

[A]

Wait, I'm loving our hat. I'm loving the merch.

[B]

Oh, I love that too.

[A]

I want a straight guy to teach me how to distress it. Yeah, we'll.

[B]

We'll ask Jeremy Allen White.

[A]

So we've. I. You know, I boldly have decided to look like dog on this pod for weeks and weeks.

[B]

I have two. I had glam today because of the milk.

[A]

I know. And hey. And it does a lot.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

And it does a body good.

[B]

And I'm sorry, what were you.

[A]

Mm, Wicked. We.

Does she know? I'm sure she knows, but, like, maybe not. It must be so. It's probably bliss.

[B]

I talked to someone who's incredibly famous a few weeks ago, and he just said to me, straight up, I haven't been on social media in five months. He has social media. Someone's posting for him. He fully just said, I have not been on social media in five months. I have to hope Michelle Yeoh has not been on social media in five months.

[A]

I think she would think it was so funny. But maybe some of the other tiktoks about. I mean, I think just wicked in general. That's such a hard movie to be a part of.

[B]

You're under a microscope.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's a true. A true nightmare. And God, you can't even, like, if you just want to watch one thing. I think that's the hardest thing. It's like, even with overcompensating, it Was like, oh, I just want to see the good. And then no matter what, you always go to the next one. Why is he wearing so much blush? It's like, because I fucking wanted to. And sometimes actually, that's just rosacea. So actually, you've really triggered me, and I'm really going through it. I should have said that, though. The scene they clip, though, I'm like, yeah, no, that's say, I think, like, spice or something.

[B]

And you can't.

[A]

You came forward with that look cuter. I loved it. I was. Hey, I was happy with it.

[B]

Yeah. Should we get into what we die for? We're doing a totaled episode today.

[A]

Yeah, I. Okay. So I was going to die for falsies. False eyelashes. They kind of drive me insane, but I don't want anyone to think that I think they look bad on people. It's just like, they drive me insane, and that's kind of all I'll say on it. So that's like a mini crash, I'd say. I would say, like, maybe a little fender bender is. I'm just like. They just. They're never, like, placed right. I guess yours are, though.

[B]

Can I tell you?

[A]

Such a psycho.

[B]

Well, of course. You know me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't walk out if it's not glued on properly.

[A]

Oh, I know. I was on set.

[B]

Mateen has been putting them underneath my lashes.

[A]

That's delicious.

[B]

Which is perfect.

[A]

A few, like, the individuals.

[B]

Individuals. I can't imagine strip lashes because the glue comes off and it's like, y' all need to be looking out for that.

[A]

You have to be in my head.

[B]

The.

[A]

Oh, my God. The individuals take up to six hours because they're putting, like, what? They have to put a hundred tiny ones in the corner. I mean, I think it's all artistry, but something in me. It's like the ocd. I just want to peel it off. I know immediately, I just want to go, whoop.

[B]

Yeah. Get a tweezer in there.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe I'll put them on. I'll start wearing them every day.

[B]

So that's a mini die.

[A]

Become the thing you fear the most. Batman.

[B]

I fidget. Literally.

[A]

Yeah. I don't fly.

[B]

I fidget so much. Oh. The ending of Wicked was very similar to. And clip that.

[A]

No, that was a movie. Sorry. The ending of, like, last night was a fucking movie.

[B]

By the way, it is Dark Knight.

[A]

Oh, did I send you that?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I just came up with that.

[A]

Oh. It was on threads and it was like they made the posters the same and I was just like, how have I not sent this to Mary Beth? And then I guess maybe I didn't have wi fi.

[B]

I guess you're not thinking of me.

[A]

Yeah, because then. And then someone has to die for good or something. So is Glinda, Loki, Batman, then Glenda's two Faces.

[B]

Which actually kind of makes sense. She was kind of flip flopping in that.

[A]

I thought Ariana Grande was incredible in that movie.

[B]

Everyone put in very good acting performances.

[A]

A hundred percent. I loved. Oh my God, I loved that sex scene with Elphabone. And she has that big sweater.

[B]

I know. It made me want to buy a big sweater.

[A]

It made me want to do the.

[B]

Opposite to return a big sweater. Yeah. Interesting. Okay.

[A]

Not in a bad way.

[B]

You didn't want one?

[A]

Don't think I need one. I have a really big one and I actually thought like maybe I should give that to Mary Beth. You know that big blue one I have?

[B]

No, but I want it.

[A]

Cool. So I will be dying for lines outside of stores.

[B]

And I will be dying for carrying things. Wait, where are we going?

[A]

Who cares? Ride.

[B]

And I would love to go first.

[A]

Hey, the things Mary Beth carries.

[B]

Because I don't want to be carrying this. I don't want to be sitting on it. So something about me is I have a lot of body pain. The body keeps score. And I've been through a lot.

[A]

So what a dumpster fire year. I'm excited for your 2026.

[B]

Same. No, seriously, I need this year to end.

[A]

Yeah, me too.

[B]

So I have a lot of shoulder pain, chronic neck pain. My neck hurts right now. It's like a whole thing. I had to change how I sleep. I can't sleep on my stomach anymore. I have to sleep on my back and side because of my neck. That's tough just to add. On top of everything else, this year I had to change my sleep style after 34 years. It's like, give me a fucking break.

[A]

No, I can't even imagine.

[B]

I'm constantly in pain all the time. And I have this physical therapist in mid town who I love and he's really helping me. I despise carrying things. I don't want to do it. I want someone else to do it. I want to have a boyfriend or a stud girlfriend who is carry my stud girlfriend. Gay guy?

[A]

No, stud girlfriend.

[B]

Stud girlfriend.

[A]

Hi, I'm the stud girlfriend. Yeah.

[B]

So I just want someone to carry my shit. Like I just really don't want to. I just don't want to. This is the same reason why I Could never rob a house. I ain't carrying the shit out there.

[A]

No, exactly.

[B]

Not a chance.

[A]

Well, you pointed out too someone else. Bonnie.

[B]

Best case, said girlfriend. Bonnie.

[A]

Call me Bonnie.

[B]

I'll call you Bonnie. I think. I don't know, maybe I sound like a total brat. This episode, I'm just like, I don't want to clean sweaty gear.

[A]

What did we tell them?

I am so madamurable. And you are.

[B]

I'm wicked, wicked witch carrying things. Yeah, it bums me out. So when I got to this brand activation today, I had to bring all my wardrobe, my laptop, my bag, a bag with shoes in my hair, tiny.

[A]

Girl, so many things.

[B]

And I got dropped off and then I had to get. Get into one world trade. So I was just carrying all this crap. I don't want it to sound like we're just complaining nonstop. If anything, I just want to empower. We're all about empowerment this season. I think that's been our big theme. Empower you to just have a bitch sesh tonight about something that's pissing you off. Don't post about it maybe on social media. Because I feel like sometimes, even this episode, I'm just like worried about how it's going to be perceived. But I just. Yeah, I'm a delicate flower and I don't want to carry stuff.

[A]

And I think it sucks. Like I sometimes I enjoy it because I'm like, I want to be useful. Like I was at your house for Thanksgiving. My goodness, how gorgeous was that?

[B]

It was a really fun.

[A]

Your mom is so. I love all your family, but your mom and I. Oh, my God. Your mom was wearing this fedora by the end of the night. I believe it was your dad's old hat. And we could not stop going.

Wait, I'm gonna piss my pants. I can't even think.

[B]

Go on, be. Go on.

[A]

When you walk in.

A scene and then what was the other one we did? We did the. Oh, yeah. It's a new dawn, It's a new day. It's a new life for me. And I'm feeling. And your mom takes that off. Good.

[B]

My mom. My mom. Because we were sharing a bed, so Pinky was in her crate, which was in my dad's office, which is next to my parents room. So in the morning my mom would text me, your girl is chirping. For when Pinky woke up.

[A]

Sorry. That's incredible.

[B]

Your girl is chirping. She sent me the exact same text two days in a row. Your girl is chirping.

[A]

She's perfect.

[B]

Amy, Laugh so hard.

[A]

Having. Oh, my God. And just like the amount of bags I had in that house, she goes, are you moving in?

[B]

Promise. Speaking of carrying things.

[A]

Carrying things. Oh, my God. I've been carrying. You've been carrying things for a while. Yeah, I've been like, I'm in between. I'm in between places right now. I'm. It's. I wish.

[B]

No mad in a lot of ways. I wish I was at a brand.

[A]

Activation, but I'm in between places right now, so. Oh, God, I've been carrying things non stop. So I really hear that. But something about on set, I really love carrying things. Like, I love my big tote bag and then my other tote bag and then my backpack. I love carrying things because I kept thinking, like, I'm not. Not really a cook here, but I would love to, you know, this help, this big old rig I got upstairs.

[B]

Downstairs, things like that.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm happy. I'm the stud girlfriend. I'm the girlfriend who stepped up.

[B]

You are. And my other thing is, like. Because I'm constantly on the hunt for, like, the perfect bag. But I had this realization at one point as I was shopping, and I just thought, there is no such thing as the perfect bag. Because the perfect bag is a bag that someone else is carrying for me.

[A]

It's so cool.

[B]

So until I get to that point, maybe that'll never happen. I don't know. It's just an aspiration of mine.

[A]

So then would the thought be that you get a bag that your guy would love to carry? Maybe a little.

[B]

Well, I want that Dior bag on the real reals.

[A]

An Hermes Kelly's.

[B]

So bad.

[A]

Oh, I know. I love that bag for you.

[B]

I'm eyeing it, but you know how I know it's overpriced? Because it's still available. And I'm not going to be the fool that pays that much.

[A]

It's not from a Nepo baby, by the way. It's from a true sommelier. Totally.

[B]

Yeah. And I wonder why they're getting rid of it. We'll never know.

[A]

Too many bags. It was so funny. We were at the dinner with Marybeth and her family, and she was like, I really want this Dior bag. And I was like, okay, let's see if I can guess it. And I got so close. Disgustingly close to what it was. Yeah, it really.

Your brother was like, real. Recognize real.

[B]

He goes, oh, so you know ball?

[A]

Yeah. And I said, oh, ball. Yeah, I know ball, motherfucker.

[B]

I will say another thing I'm doing. Because carrying things can also be metaphorically. I'm going to see like a cranial something Seuss tomorrow. Or wait, no, Wednesday.

[A]

Carrying that galaxy brain around. I mean, I can't imagine heavy.

[B]

It hurts. But I think there's just a lot of like, narratives I'm like, clinging on to that I need to let go of so I can like free myself.

[A]

Oh, totally.

[B]

Cuz I've just been carrying a lot. And obviously this year too, it's like added a bunch more. I need a clean house. I need to get out with the old, in with the new trauma. Come on now.

[A]

Come on now. Trauma. Can't wait to meet you. Here's a seat at the dinner table.

[B]

Welcome to the.

[A]

Those meditations that are like, let all your things. Let them sit at the table. And I'm like, I think we can tell her she's good.

[B]

She's done for now.

[A]

You're actually not, like, things that happen.

[B]

To me in college where I'm just like. I want to let that go.

[A]

Well, you know, make a TV show and you are. So we're getting pretty close.

[B]

You see how my neck hurts? Like, I'm having a massage.

[A]

Mine's back. It's the things I carry in this low back. Can someone carry this ass around for me for a couple days?

[B]

Holy. My air pods are too heavy. They're giving me neck pain.

[A]

My air pods, the big ones. You have to say this.

[B]

They're not the big ones. It's the in ear ones.

[A]

Oh, sweetie.

[B]

My physical therapist said that's what's doing it.

[A]

Why are you so. Coraline?

[B]

I don't know. I'm in so much pain. I think if I had someone to like hold me and take care of me, it would help at least a little bit. I have to imagine it would help a little bit.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Oh, and by the way, I'm not dating right now. Isn't that cool?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not dating until after I do my special.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I just don't want to.

[A]

You told that to me and I thought that was.

[B]

I don't want to be fabulous.

[A]

I just don't want to as your friend. I was going very. I was doing thumbs down. And then you said that and I.

[B]

Went, can I say thumbs up? Wicked witch.

[A]

In that moment I thought Madam Morrible, actually.

[B]

Yeah. I can't. I don't have the emotional bandwidth capacity. Etc.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just need to focus.

[A]

I'm so excited. It's going to be so fabulous. And yeah, why? You don't want to deal with all that?

[B]

No, I have enough. I need to make room for the.

[A]

I would say and new year. I mean, the new beginnings. I mean, I can't even get into it. I've been back on the pattern app lately and it's just. I'm like completely.

[B]

Pattern is so funny because I feel like that came out maybe in pandemic and it was like, guys will download the pattern app instead of going to therapy. Well, you're doing both.

[A]

What if a man did both?

[B]

Imagine how healed you're about to be.

[A]

Oh, speaking of which. So for anyone who's going through a dermatitis journey like yours truly. I can't. I actually. Don't even look at me. It's. It's a whole thing.

[B]

I can't comment on it because you look fine.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you. I wish I could love the hair. Facial hair too.

[A]

I can see myself through your eyes.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I was working with a specialist and it's kind of like nervous system component and it's like just always feeling unsafe. And it's so common to just be like, you're watching the news, you're going on the Internet, you're doing all these things make you feel so unsafe. So just being more thoughtful of just maybe carrying a little bit less. I think this is actually really beautiful that you've crashed for this.

[B]

It's two things I'm about to crash. Yeah.

[A]

I hate seeing you carry things because you already carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me take that back.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

My love is super love. Third Love. Third Love. Third Love makes better bras. Period. Period. Founded by women who were sick of settling for bras that were good enough. Duddy wears Third Love.

[B]

Of course she does.

[A]

Yes. And she takes it off in the middle of dinner and goes, I'm cold.

Do you get that?

[B]

I do. God, Daddy would be a marketing machine.

[A]

I know.

[B]

With 10 plus years of redefining what a comfortable bra looks and feels like. Made to solve fit issues that many of us face, get extra lift, smooth out back spillage, and more with Third Love. They're designed with the highest quality materials, including innovative thermo regulation.

[A]

Available in 60 plus sizes, which I'm not really sure how that's possible, but hey, I'm figuring out it out to fit double A to H. I got.

[B]

To see some H.60 sizes. It's cuz they invented half sizes for those who are between sizes.

[A]

Third Love does it all.

[B]

Stop settling for average bras. Get solutions made for your body. Get 15 off your purchase at thirdlove.com that's T-H-I-R D L O V E.com with code podcast 15.

[A]

Third Ello, Ello. Elo L O B E L O L o ello.

[B]

Did you hear me say so?

[A]

Get your third love bralettes and your brassieres for your bubbas.

Bubba. Damn Nikki.

[B]

Damn Nikki. Or Bobby's. Thirdlove.com with Code podcast 15.

[A]

Ritualistic I'm sadistic. Wait, we need to do more spoken word.

[B]

We do.

[A]

Do the little fingers.

[B]

Tap tap in my fingers. Let's be real. Our diets aren't always the most balanced.

[A]

This time of year.

[B]

If you're looking for digestive support, ritual has got your back. Or rather your biome baby.

[A]

Oh anyone? Can anyone here make sure to take care of my biome while I'm gone?

[B]

The symbiotic plus a three in one powerhouse. So clinically studied pre pro and postbiotics.

[A]

To support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. Okay, so I do take.

[B]

Take this. You take this stuff.

[A]

I really do take this because you know, travel, travel privilege. I've seen the world at this point. I've eaten it at Joe and the juice everywhere and it's just good for it. Keeps me feeling good. I would say my my gut health feels better. It really does.

[B]

Always said that you need your products, especially in this case we're talking about ritual. But they contain high quality clean ingredients. All of the products you want are vegan, GMO free and tested.

[A]

I'm a freak when it comes to what I put in this freaking gorgeous body that God gave me. It's HSA and FSA eligible with a seamless checkout experience. So you can save when you shop with pre tax dollars. Oh pre tax. Hell yeah. To get your gut going. Supportive balance got micro on the with ritual Symbiotic. My listeners, because I know you're here for me. I'm more famous than Mary Beth. Get 25 off your first month at ritual.com ride that's ritual.com ride for 25 off your first month.

This episode is brought to you by no CD. Picture this. You're going about your day when suddenly a horrifying thought flashes through your mind. I want to kill Benny. Drama seven In Cold blood. Maybe it's a fear of something happening to a loved one. So me. A disturbing or sexual image that keeps replaying in your mind. Or an urge to do something you don't want to do. Your Heart races, your pumps, sweat and anxiety washes over you. You're mortified and you feel fully convinced that it's true, even though you know you don't want to kill Benny Drama 7 in cold blood. That's not who you are. But still, the question of why did I think that? Am I a bad person? What was that start to consume you, you. And you feel like you have to do something, anything to make them go away. That sounds familiar. And I know during the holidays it definitely does for a lot of you. Here's the thing about those disturbing unwanted thoughts. They're more common than you think. In fact, almost everyone has them. But for people with obsessive compulsive disorder, or ocd, like Betty Drama, they usually cause a lot of distress and feel hard to stop thinking about. NOCD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that's here to help anyone struggling with OCD and tired, taboo or shameful thoughts get the treatment and support they need. Unlike general therapy providers, every no CD therapist specializes in ocd, so they deeply understand intrusive thoughts. That means no matter how disturbing, taboo or shameful, you think something is like killing Queer as folks. Benny Drama, America's gay boy next door who really hasn't gotten his flowers yet or therapy sessions are a safe space to be open about it. To learn more about therapy with no CD, go to to nocd.com and schedule a free 15 minute call with their team. That's nocd.com to learn more and book a free 15 minute call. So my caveat is like, of course, like fire hazards. I'm, I'm aware that some stores cannot, like there's a capacity issue. That's not what I'm talking about. But after the pandemic, a few stores thought we liked that.

[B]

Create the illusion of exclusivity.

[A]

Yes. I made the mistake within this past year of around a straight guy saying like supreme's like business model. And this man launched into it and I had just brought it up, meaning I knew what it was. It's like, you know, you'll sell this many units, cut it in half. There you go.

[B]

Rocket science.

[A]

Supply and demand. It was explained to me, but I know that that's the illusion of it. Just the line outside Missouri and like, like near Mott Street. I'm just like. And do you understand that the line outside Missouri is also a poem like I just read, you know? Yeah, that was like beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there's something about it that's just driving me insane because I'm like You have room in the store. Just let people into it. This is insane. And I'm just like, literally going in there to get, like one thing quickly. Like, you're being crazy.

[B]

Yeah, you sound insane right now.

[A]

You sound insane right now with the bouncer. You sound insane. I'm trying to get a chain bracelet. It's just driving me crazy. And it's everywhere. It's rampant. Like, if you go anywhere in New York and in la, oh, my God, there's a line. They make lines for everything now.

[B]

I know. I'm sure some stores are doing it for loss prevention because they don't want things to get lifted out of the store. However, here's what I will say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Think about. Because it's like constant.

[A]

Think about Sephora. Well, there's like, come on down.

[B]

Because they've figured out that the amount of product that they're losing and via theft is offset by the number of people that are in the store spending money. Because that's what it comes down to is like, is it. It's a cost benefit analysis in a lot of ways.

[A]

I could explain this to any of the people.

[B]

Any of the people.

[A]

And you go, bouncers.

[B]

Is this line deterring enough customers who would have bought that are not going to buy because they're not going to wait to offset like a ring or two going missing? I don't know the answer to that. Maybe Missouri has figured out that it does make sense, but there's many, many other stores that have things all behind glass or the items are not as easy to, like, put in. And it's just like, why? Are you okay?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We went to a club in London.

[A]

Oh, my God. Speak.

[B]

Line of 15 people. We get to the front.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The place is empty.

Empty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somehow the people in front of us in line weren't even in there. It was just us.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Well, there was no one else.

[A]

Do you understand that? They went out the back door and went right back into line. It was a little caterpillar.

[B]

It made no sense.

[A]

Yeah, we got. It was an amusement park ride.

[B]

I know it totally insane, but I agree. I just. I don't like the optics of it. I don't like the. You know what I'm really bumping up against lately is the optics of exclusivity. The optics of. I can't say it.

[A]

Exclusivity. If you have to fake it, it's not exclusive. Come on now.

[B]

I just don't. I don't like it. I really don't.

[A]

Oh, my God. It. At outlets like the Caboson outlets outside Palm Springs. I'm like, let me in.

[B]

Let me in. No, let me stay in line.

[A]

Stay in line. But it's like, oh, my God. Like, you have enough. Like, sales associates. All of these things, they have the. They have the. What's it called? Like, the little monitors.

[B]

The little.

Yeah, of course.

[A]

You know. Oh, yeah. The bbbb.

[B]

You know, the theft. Whatever they call the sensors. But my other thing is, like, everyone keeps talking about how brick and mortar struggling. Everyone's going on, hey, I have a.

[A]

Few notes, and I think I can get. I can get us back.

[B]

Cut the shit.

[A]

Schools in malls.

[B]

Schools in malls.

[A]

Schools.

[B]

That's how we revive the art form of malls.

[A]

Imagine the popular girl going to Orange Ju every morning. Cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's eating Panda Express orange chicken every day for lunch.

[B]

I just think it's not good for business.

[A]

It's not good for business. And that's my thing. And it's just. Yeah, I think that's the thing, too. It just is, like, elitist. It's annoying, and it's like the. It's like all these weird power dynamics in it, and it's just like, come on, dude.

[B]

Dude, come on. Well, actually, this feeds into something that I've been bumping up against. And I hate to be so negative, but I'm having, like, event fatigue. And it's not even, like, attending events. It's more just, like, how many events. And I think because I engage with posts about events, they're coming up more for me. And I'm just like, it's just a lot of events. Like, it's a lot of events.

[A]

Like, let's see if we can, like, slim it down to, like, a couple of year, you guys. I know we can do it.

[B]

Yeah. It's just feeling like every store opening in every city, it's like an event.

[A]

I know. Which I'm like, I'm happy to see stores opening. I guess that means that, like, they.

[B]

Have a line outside because of the event.

[A]

Well, of course. More lines for preventing drama, Stud girlfriend to Mary. So I got on the New York Magazine Culturati 50 list, and someone goes, they spelled Mary Beth's name wrong. When it was me, it said me. And I was like, that's so funny. Kind of dragging me. But I was like, that's incredible. I was like, I love that.

[B]

I love reading an event for that.

[A]

Of course I'm going on Wednesday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

God, it's so weird because I'm such a terrible dinner guest lately. Because we're Just like. Like, we're in the thick of right in this big puppy. So I'll literally just be sitting there, and, like, a song will play or something, and I'm like, here it is. Yeah. I think I feel distant. I'm sure I'll be such a fun Christmas guest.

[B]

No. Yeah. It's end of the year. It's like. There's just. Maybe there's a lot of fatigue.

[A]

I think there's fatigue everywhere, and. Oh, God, I can't imagine the lines during the holidays outside Majuri. There was a huge line outside Everlane today, too, that I was like, the. Like, that's a big store.

[B]

That's a huge store.

[A]

So I broke the glass, and I said, for everybody.

[B]

Yeah, for everyone. You brought a big log, like in Beauty and the Beast.

[A]

I didn't need it. I did a big. Yeah. Bat. I did one bat.

[B]

You brought it back.

[A]

A supreme baseball bat.

[B]

A metal one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a lot of fatigue I'm feeling to be ordinary.

Speaking of fatigue, we are doing two rerun episodes over the holidays. I just want to preface that. I would love for you to still listen to them, like, even if you've heard them before. We're doing Encyclopedia of Ride. Listen again. Would it kill you to listen again?

[A]

Hey, come on. We would never not listen to the encyclopedia.

[B]

We would never ride again. It was supposed to be again.

[A]

I can't stop thinking about, we would never not come to dinner because it's, like, so us in every single way.

[B]

I also think we misquoted it, too. Like, it wasn't that.

[A]

No, but I actually think you're so right. But, like, I'll never check. And I can see it all so vividly. Like, we would never come to dinner.

[B]

Us at Thanksgiving.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, me. At any event during. Oh, my God. I played Just Dance. There was so much joy. There were a ton of things to ride for today, but, like, let's freaking crash and burn.

[B]

I feel bad. I'm like, are people gonna be mad about this? I don't know.

[A]

You know what I think bad.

[B]

I don't want to be negative. I guess we're positive a lot of the time.

[A]

Oh, I have to be negative about one more thing. So while you're flying. I almost crashed for this, but then it felt too, like, really specific. And maybe the title would have gotten too long.

[B]

It would have gotten flagged.

[A]

But unless you have a connecting flight that better be leaving very soon when you come from back of the plane. Or it can be either one seat behind and you Try to cut the person who's in the seats before you to get off the plane.

[B]

There's a social contract.

[A]

You'll be meeting floor. Yeah, you'll be meeting. You'll be meeting the Runway. And it's because Benny Drama broke your knees, love.

[B]

And you can tell, I feel like when someone has a connecting flight because they always tell. They're always conferencing with the flight attendants.

[A]

I can always tell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that, to me, I'm like, go.

[B]

Go get your girl.

[A]

I literally almost grabbed him by the shoulder. Go get her. He's like, what? Wait. Actually, that's a challenge. This holiday season. If somebody. If somebody gets to have the pleasure of cutting you on a plane and you think it's for all the right reasons, grab them by the shoulder, no matter the gender, and say, go get her.

[B]

Go get her.

[A]

And wink.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Merry Christmas. Like, you're the one who allowed them to. Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

Oh. I was at this gay event in London.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

So bad. And it was the first time in my life where I was like, I wonder if this straight girl. I'm not saying that I just immediately knew she was straight, but I did in every way. She was a straight girl at this kind of gay night. It was like a dance night. And I just had to pee so bad. And I was just like, can I please cut? And she was like, I got you, girl. And it was just the first time in my life I would have ever really done. Because I'm like. Like, women spend their whole lives waiting in lines to go to bathrooms. Like, that's just kind of like, I can't imagine life was wasted. She did in that moment. And I think she understood what pride meant. So I'm just shouting her out, whoever you are.

Wherever you are, Is that Kesha?

[B]

You are throwing out some musical references. This episode that I do not know.

[A]

To be ordinary. Back in the dinner time. The sanctuary.

Wicked witch.

[B]

You know what you are, Benny? Hmm?

[A]

A f Ck it.

[B]

Your words, not mine, babe. You're my ride or die.

[A]

Ride or die.

[B]

So I'd obviously die for lines outside of stores. I mean, if you have a good reason, I guess, fine. But my immediate instinct, if I see that is like, what's going on in there? And actually don't tell me. And furthermore, I don't need to see it.

[A]

Me. Every time I'm like, I. It makes me sad, but I go, can get it online. I say that to everyone in line. Get this online. Hey, get this online. Hey, hey. You can get this online because you go in the store and they don't have any stock. So you think you're gonna go in there to try something on? Forget about it. I ride for carrying things. I die for you having to carry things.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Do you understand that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like. Yeah, I. I hate seeing you carry a big old thing. Last night, you had trash, and I was gonna take it, but then you wanted to walk with me.

[B]

Me? Yeah, I wanted to walk you to.

[A]

The elevator, but I was happy to, like, get my. Get my arm a forearm workout for you, I think.

[B]

Yeah, it's just living alone, too. I'm just, like, I am responsible for so much of my own, and I. I know that many people are living that way. I'm not saying it's just me, but it would be nice to share the load sometimes. I'm carrying a load.

[A]

Let's share this load.

[B]

Share the load.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Find someone you can share the load with. So I hope this episode wasn't too much of a bummer, and, I don't know, maybe send your group chat. You all have an opportunity. Oh, have I told you guys this?

[A]

In my group, things is good for people. It's good for everyone. You know, it's like toxic positivity does exist. Every now and then, you got to.

[B]

Be like, we're keeping it real, and.

[A]

It feels so good. Like, you. Oh, God. And everyone's gonna go home, and you see friends and family and whoever, and you just. Sometimes you gotta just. My favorite person to. Is a person who's rapping presents. Get them in a room.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Get that bitch in a room.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Good girl.

[A]

Close the door and say.

Yeah.

[B]

No. And we did that. We did a little sidebarring at Thanksgiving.

[A]

I. My favorite thing in the world. Close the door. To take you and Vicki into a room and go, what the.

[B]

Yeah. In my group chat and my friends from high school, my friend Emily said we should start doing a rec of the week, like a recommendation of the week. So every week, everyone has a recommendation. And then one week. One week, autocorrect changed it to wreck of the week, as in W R E C K. Like car wreck of the week. So then sometimes when we have a negative thing, we do a wreck of the week.

[A]

Oh, I thought it was a compilation video of, like, car wrecks.

[B]

Like, I love this. That would. I mean, that would be cool. Maybe no casualties.

[A]

Well, of course, always no casualties.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe just take some space for a wreck of the week this week.

[A]

And there really are two people, two types of people in the world. The people who stare at wrecks when they pass them and the people who don't.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

I never do.

[B]

It's not. I wanna. I'm on my way. Place.

[A]

Also, I'm like, what if I see something that alters, like, my brain chemistry for the rest of my life?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to see that.

[B]

That's between them and God, whatever happened.

[A]

Well, it's private. I'm like, oh, God, it's really private. It's private. And it could be.

[B]

And guess what? You're holding up traffic. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[A]

It's a movie.

[B]

It's a movie. And you're pretty adult. You should know that.

[A]

You're an adult.

[B]

Oh, my God. Wait. This weekend, someone in my family asked Vicky something and we were quoting. It's a movie. So as the person was walking away, she goes, you're an adult, you should know that. And then she's like, wait, I didn't mean you, though.

[A]

Yeah, no, sorry. Yeah, sorry. Oh, God.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

We were doing a really specific Britney Spears meme. Word for word. Yeah, yeah.

Wicked witch.

Oh, my. Exit.

[B]

Benny, babe, Eyes on the road. Benny, look out.

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